Alkie is probably my favorite female poster on this site. Day after day, year after year, she so wonderfully captures so many classic traits of femininity. She's prissy, hormonal, and has a gorgeously diva-esque knack for vanity that would make Mariah Carey proud. Obsessed with cocks in a way some would view unhealthy (were we to apply the sad male/female gigolo/slut double-standard all too common in our male-dominated society), Alkie is not afraid to stand up and confidently express what's on her mind in a way that all modern women could learn from. Some near-sighted folks might call her frequent tendency to complain and nag a symptom of PMS. And while it's true that she does have an especially vicious and long-lasting menstrual cycle, those 'haters' so flagrantly miss the point. Behind this "bitching," Alkie is actually expressing a tenderness that few of us have a radar for. Yes, her and Hudson Hawk have their well-documented Hepburn/Tracy-esque mating rituals and sexual role-playing, and yes, Alkie was for many years known as the toast of Boys Town back in her El Paso/Juarez years. But again, beyond the 'taking' just like a woman, and the next-morning's 'aching' just like a woman, we all know that Alkie breaks just like a little girl. So thank you Alkie/Zach/Lola-- whichever character you choose to take on-- keep being yourself girlfriend. It's a tough world out there, but you've shown us all that with a little courage, pluck, and woman's intuition, we can and will survive.
