Free free set them free

[matadorph]

Is this just a weird coincidence or does someone at Astros.com still have a chubby for AE and the Clam?

[Limey]

With that subject line, you're just begging for me to post another Johansson décolletage pic, aren't you.

[MusicMan]

Feel free to post the other Boleyn girl.

[matadorph]

Actually, I had Salma in mind but I'd settle for some more Scarlett J.

[Emo Oranges]

Nice Sting reference in the subject...

[Limey]

At the risk of (a) hijacking another thread, and (b) making Clemens' enormous head explode, here's something from back in the day and back in the old country.

[Andyzipp]

At the risk of (a) hijacking another thread, and (b) making Clemens' enormous head explode, here's something from back in the day and back in the old country.

Samantha Foxx...all of a sudden I'm 13 again...

[MusicMan]

Samantha Foxx...all of a sudden I'm 13 again...

Back in Charley's hotel room?

[Limey]

Samantha Foxx...all of a sudden I'm 13 again...

I actually met her once.  She came to cut the ribbon on the grand (re)opening of the pub I worked in after they'd (re)painted it a delicate shade of nicotine (presumably to stave of another repainting for decades to come).  She's about knee high to grasshopper...quite sweet...with big tits.

I was actually put in charge of the boozer that night as the manager was bonkers over Manthie and it was decided that a blubbering pool of goo was not the best thing to be in charge on what would be a very busy night.  I didn't have time to spend ogling Miss Fox, so I didn't, and this added fuel to the belief among the regulars that I was gay.  This didn't bother me, and I actually played up to it a little bit by wearing the loudest shirts I could find, which to the simple folk of my pub was a code for, and yet more proof of, gayness.

Of course, what they didn't know was that I was knobbing romantically involved with one of the other bar staff there, who was female, and smokin', and for whom the regulars would buy tons of drinks trying to curry favour.  On nights when we worked together, I'd drink most of those drinks.

It was 1983, and I had finished school, got a job (two, actually), a car that I'd paid for myself (with a broken rear view mirror that can be blamed on the aforementioned paramour), some money in my pocket and a regular bunk up date.  Good times...

[Noe]

I actually met her once.  She came to cut the ribbon on the grand (re)opening of the pub I worked in after they'd (re)painted it a delicate shade of nicotine (presumably to stave of another repainting for decades to come). 

Reminds me of the first job I had when I arrived in Austin eight years ago (wow, time flies by so quickly!).  I worked at a firm that decided it was a good idea to rent office space on sixth street.  Not bad during the day, but if you ever had to work overtime, it was killer to try and get something done.  So on occasion we would get wind of a celebrity sighting on sixth street for some reason or another.  One day, I saw Chrissy Hyde eating a hot dog at a sixth street drug store, but I digress.

So there comes a day when it starts to circulate that none other than Jaime Lee Curtis is schedule to make an appearance right there on sixth street as the spokesperson for some sort of weight control diet drink or something such.  I immediately remember all the movies that JLC was in that made me squirm just a tad, including Trading Places and A Fish Called Wanda.  I have to go down to the street where they're setting up the platform to have the band play and then interview JLC.  I have visions of the lovely Fish Called Wanda JLC standing almost within arms length of me too.  I'm ready and I decide, heck why not... I'll get her autograph too and maybe take a picture with her.

So the band plays a few songs, the MC gets to the mic and starts to drone on and on about this diet drink.  I'm bearing with this because I'm going to get to see JLC up close and personal.  Well, he says something like "well enough of me... do you know who we have backstage?"  Yes, we do arsehole, get on with it!  "JAIME LEE CURTIS!!!"

Out she comes and she is very... ahum... plump indeed.  Seems she just had a baby and was carrying a lot of extra weight around.  Hence her interest in this diet drink.  The dress she wore was really unflattering to say the least and had she walked by me as a total stranger I wouldn't even think that was JLC that just walked by me.  She then drones on and on about this diet drink and how it's helping her lose the extra pounds, blah, blah, blah...

I walk back into my office, shut the door and decide I'll never set myself up like that again in my life.  Oh, and Chrissy Hyde looked like she had been run over by a Mack Truck that morning too... so my experiences with meeting and seeing movie and music female stars is not something to write home about.

[MusicMan]

I saw Jennifer Anniston in an Austin ohtel back in 98 or so.  She was... the opposite of how you describe JLC.  She was smokin'.

[Outlawscotty]

Oh, and Chrissy Hyde looked like she had been run over by a Mack Truck that morning too... so my experiences with meeting and seeing movie and music female stars is not something to write home about.

She was pretending to look good.

[Noe]

I saw Jennifer Anniston in an Austin ohtel back in 98 or so.  She was... the opposite of how you describe JLC.  She was smokin'.

I missed seeing Sandra Bullock filming "Miss Congeniality" here in Austin.  The firm I worked with moved to another building away from the craziness of sixth street but not too far.  We were in the building caddycorner from the now renovated Driskill Hotel. They used the large meeting room in the Driskill for a lot of the press conference shots in the movie.  So every day as I walked into work, I'd see very attractive women in evening wear walking down the same street as me.... but no Sandra Bullock.

One day, my co-workers say they're going to the Omni to grab some lunch at the pasta grill.  I tell them no thanks because I brought my lunch and had some things to do.  An hour later, they are all beaming and I ask them what all the fuss was about.  Chad breaks out with the "DUDE, I JUST MET SANDRA BULLOCK!"  Seems she went to the pasta bar too and was walking and talking to them all the way back to the set.  She was dressed in a swimsuit he said.

Damn!

[Noe]

She was pretending to look good.

"Ohhh-hi-ohhhh!" was what we muttered as we walked by her.  She laughed.

[Limey]

Which restroom did JLC use?

[MusicMan]

Which restroom did JLC use?

I see what you did there.

[Taras Bulba]

Which restroom did JLC use?

She still looks pretty good, though.

[S.P. Rodriguez]

Which restroom did JLC use?

For those less familiar with English subtlety, JLC is a hermaphrodite.  And while they apparently picked the right gender at birth (agreed, in her prime, wowsers), she is incapable of having children.  It's of little consequence, she gained weight like most people and she's actually quite outspoken about being "normal".  My apologies for injecting any reality to this thread... where are the pics of Salma?  Ah... there they are.  I'll be in my bunk...

[MusicMan]

You realize the hermaphrodite story is more than likely apocryphal, right?

[Trey]

I missed seeing Sandra Bullock filming "Miss Congeniality" here in Austin.  The firm I worked with moved to another building away from the craziness of sixth street but not too far.  We were in the building caddycorner from the now renovated Driskill Hotel. They used the large meeting room in the Driskill for a lot of the press conference shots in the movie.  So every day as I walked into work, I'd see very attractive women in evening wear walking down the same street as me.... but no Sandra Bullock.

One day, my co-workers say they're going to the Omni to grab some lunch at the pasta grill.  I tell them no thanks because I brought my lunch and had some things to do.  An hour later, they are all beaming and I ask them what all the fuss was about.  Chad breaks out with the "DUDE, I JUST MET SANDRA BULLOCK!"  Seems she went to the pasta bar too and was walking and talking to them all the way back to the set.  She was dressed in a swimsuit he said.

Damn!

I saw Sandra Bullock at one of Bob Schneider's shows back when they were dating.  She was ridiculously hot.  Tiny.  But insanely hot.

[S.P. Rodriguez]

You realize the hermaphrodite story is more than likely apocryphal, right?

Honestly, I'd prefer it if it were mere urban legend.  And insisted so until a friend in pre-med pointed out, in a text book back, documentation of this claim.  In hindsight,  I recognize this is neither proof nor evidence of anything.  And I was greatly dissappointed, at the time, as I a big fan (Thank you Trading Places).  It would not take much to convince me that the text book was not factual as some of the business school texts, I was required to read, proved to be.   Googling this topic even raises the recurrence of "documentation in medical texts"...  hmm... the conspiracy grows...

eta: this was also the A&M pre-med program.  Disparage at will... and the more I read of the google hits, the happier I am.  Hmm... I wonder how hard it will be to find a copy of Trading Places or A Fish Called Wanda...  god bless the internets

[Bench]

Honestly, I'd prefer it if it were mere urban legend.  And insisted so until a friend in pre-med pointed out, in a text book back, documentation of this claim.  In hindsight,  I recognize this is neither proof nor evidence of anything.  And I was greatly dissappointed, at the time, as I a big fan (Thank you Trading Places).  It would not take much to convince me that the text book was not factual as some of the business school texts, I was required to read, proved to be.   Googling this topic even raises the recurrence of "documentation in medical texts"...  hmm... the conspiracy grows...

eta: this was also the A&M pre-med program.  Disparage at will... and the more I read of the google hits, the happier I am.  Hmm... I wonder how hard it will be to find a copy of Trading Places or A Fish Called Wanda...  god bless the internets

How about a polite "who the fuck cares one way or the other"?

[Gizzmonic]

Speaking of Jamie Lee Curtis and Austin...

I was eating at Green Mesquite with a couple of friends about ten years ago and somehow the topic of conversation strayed to Miss(?) Jamie Lee.  One of my friends trotted out the hermaphrodite story.  This was the first time I'd heard the story and I was more than a little skeptical (and I still am).  In fact, I cried out, "You're shitting me!" and rebuffed my multiple buddies' protestations that he was not, in fact, shitting me (he's a good man, but not to be trusted, especially after the number of beers we had had).

All of a sudden someone at the table next to us says, "I was the obstetrician that delivered Jamie Lee in Indianapolis."

I shook my poor, soaked head.  Another bullshitter had heard my friend's loud ramblings and apparently wanted to add his own spice to the story.

"See?" my friend drawls, standing up and nodding towards this guy, who looked at least twenty years too young for his story to be remotely plausible.

"Yes, we crafted a beautiful vagina for her," the guy continued.  "It's one of my proudest professional achievements."

That was one weird evening.

[Limey]

I saw Sandra Bullock at one of Bob Schneider's shows back when they were dating.  She was ridiculously hot.  Tiny.  But insanely hot.

Most Hollywood stars are tiny, because normal-sized people look out of proportion when they are projected onto a 50' high screen.

[geezerdonk]

The sainted Mrs. Geez got Alice Faye's autograph in Sun Valley.

[MusicMan]

I'm going nuts trying to remember the source of Gizzmonic's story.

[toddthebod]

I saw Matthew Broderick yesterday taking his kid to the movie.  Man does he look old.

[Andyzipp]

Cooter Burger isn't even his real name!

[HudsonHawk]

Honestly, I'd prefer it if it were mere urban legend.  And insisted so until a friend in pre-med pointed out, in a text book back, documentation of this claim.  In hindsight,  I recognize this is neither proof nor evidence of anything.  And I was greatly dissappointed, at the time, as I a big fan (Thank you Trading Places).  It would not take much to convince me that the text book was not factual as some of the business school texts, I was required to read, proved to be.   Googling this topic even raises the recurrence of "documentation in medical texts"...  hmm... the conspiracy grows...

eta: this was also the A&M pre-med program.  Disparage at will... and the more I read of the google hits, the happier I am.  Hmm... I wonder how hard it will be to find a copy of Trading Places or A Fish Called Wanda...  god bless the internets

You realize that being "pre-med" means exactly squat.  Eric Stratton was pre-med.  Hell, I was once pre-med.

There is no legitimate documentation that JLC is a hermaphrodite.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

When I studied genetics at A&M, JLC was used as an example of an XXY patient, which technically wouldn't make her a hermaphrodite per se.  However, according to Snopes, it's still unconfirmed.  For what it's worth, the references to her "condition" were made in lecture, not in the text we were using.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

How about a polite "who the fuck cares one way or the other"?

Nigel Tufnel don't give a fuck.

[Gizzmonic]

Dunno what you mean MM, that actually happened to me, I'm the primary source.

Were you the "obstetrician"?

I'm going nuts trying to remember the source of Gizzmonic's story.