Author Topic: Cubs contemplate their two hole.  (Read 4648 times)

pravata

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Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« on: March 19, 2008, 11:06:10 am »
The Soriano-in-the-two-hole experiment has lasted a week. Piniella doesn’t sound like he’s sold, even though it was his idea.  ...

“He said he’s 80 to 85 percent healthy, and that has more to do with him batting second than anything,” Piniella said. “There’s that cool wind in Chicago. We need his bat in the lineup and don’t need him running. That’s the rationale.” ...

For Piniella, protecting the team’s monumental investment will mean handcuffing himself at times and having to grin-and-bear situations such as the one that unfolded in the sixth inning (of their last game).

Batting in front of sluggers Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez, Soriano came to the plate with runners on first and second and none out, the score tied 1-1. Traditional National League strategy called for a bunt or a hit-and-run. Piniella did nothing and Soriano struck out.

“If it was the eighth or ninth inning in that situation, I’d do what I have to do and move them up,” Soriano said. “But any earlier in the game, I’m going to use the same approach I always have.”

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=sh-springsoriano031808&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

Gizzmonic

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2008, 11:34:35 am »
Batting him 2nd is better than batting him leadoff.  More chances for him to come up in RBI situations.  Why don't they bat him cleanup?  Why doesn't he want to bat cleanup?  It confuses me.

The Soriano-in-the-two-hole experiment has lasted a week. Piniella doesn’t sound like he’s sold, even though it was his idea.  ...

“He said he’s 80 to 85 percent healthy, and that has more to do with him batting second than anything,” Piniella said. “There’s that cool wind in Chicago. We need his bat in the lineup and don’t need him running. That’s the rationale.” ...

For Piniella, protecting the team’s monumental investment will mean handcuffing himself at times and having to grin-and-bear situations such as the one that unfolded in the sixth inning (of their last game).

Batting in front of sluggers Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez, Soriano came to the plate with runners on first and second and none out, the score tied 1-1. Traditional National League strategy called for a bunt or a hit-and-run. Piniella did nothing and Soriano struck out.

“If it was the eighth or ninth inning in that situation, I’d do what I have to do and move them up,” Soriano said. “But any earlier in the game, I’m going to use the same approach I always have.”

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=sh-springsoriano031808&prov=yhoo&type=lgns
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chuck

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2008, 12:42:56 pm »
Wow, I'm slow. It only now occurred to me that the Astros' two-hole hitter has an issue with his own, erm, you know.

I'd never put two and two together.
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pravata

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2008, 12:47:09 pm »
Wow, I'm slow. It only now occurred to me that the Astros' two-hole hitter has an issue with his own, erm, you know.

I'd never put two and two together.

And now you probably wish you hadn't.

Craig

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2008, 12:57:10 pm »
Wow, I'm slow. It only now occurred to me that the Astros' two-hole hitter has an issue with his own, erm, you know.

I'd never put two and two together.

Dude, Fredia beat you to this punchline two days ago.

chuck

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2008, 01:07:36 pm »
Dude, Fredia beat you to this punchline two days ago.

Dude, Fredia beat you to this punchline two days ago.

As I said, I'm slow.
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JimR

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2008, 01:13:18 pm »
As I said, I'm slow.

that's not slow; that's stationary.
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EasTexAstro

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2008, 01:17:47 pm »
that's not slow; that's stationary.

I'm wondering how he has read this site for this long and still has a mind clean enough to not put two-and-two together. (See what I did there, chuck? two-and-two?)

It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue made of 'em was one kinda sombitch or another.

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2008, 01:34:25 pm »
that's not slow; that's stationary.

That's not slow, that's constipated.
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VirtualBob

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2008, 02:23:00 pm »
Maybe he's been contemplating his two hole?
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remy

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2008, 02:50:59 pm »
Only a thread about the Cubs could degenerate so quickly and completely.

austro

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #11 on: March 19, 2008, 02:53:07 pm »
Only a thread about the Cubs could degenerate so quickly and completely.

That's because they're assholes.
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Lefty

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #12 on: March 19, 2008, 03:03:02 pm »
Batting him 2nd is better than batting him leadoff.  More chances for him to come up in RBI situations.  Why don't they bat him cleanup?  Why doesn't he want to bat cleanup?  It confuses me.

Soriano, batting:

1st:  .295 / .341 / .551 / .892
3rd:  .260 / .310 / .452 / .762
5th:  .268 / .312 / .513 / .825
Men on:  .269 / .321 / .482 / .803
Empty:  .290 / .331 / .537 / .868

Sorry to derail.
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Craig

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #13 on: March 19, 2008, 03:08:16 pm »
In other news about the dumbshit Cubs, Kerry Wood now has a sore back. I couldn't believe it either.

Gizzmonic

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #14 on: March 19, 2008, 03:11:59 pm »
I still don't think it's a good idea to have a guy who strikes out a lot and hits for a ton of power at leadoff.  I guess it makes some sense with the Cubs not having a true leadoff man on their roster, but even with the numbers drop off that you've shown I'm guessing they'd score more runs if he was batting cleanup.

Soriano, batting:

1st:  .295 / .341 / .551 / .892
3rd:  .260 / .310 / .452 / .762
5th:  .268 / .312 / .513 / .825
Men on:  .269 / .321 / .482 / .803
Empty:  .290 / .331 / .537 / .868

Sorry to derail.
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Lefty

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #15 on: March 19, 2008, 03:18:36 pm »
I still don't think it's a good idea to have a guy who strikes out a lot and hits for a ton of power at leadoff.

He also bitches & moans anytime it's mentioned that he might be better off hitting somewhere else.  Ideally, you're right.
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chuck

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #16 on: March 19, 2008, 03:20:09 pm »
Maybe he's been contemplating his two hole?

Or my cranium was beyond said threshold.
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EasTexAstro

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #17 on: March 19, 2008, 03:28:15 pm »
I still don't think it's a good idea to have a guy who strikes out a lot and hits for a ton of power at leadoff.  I guess it makes some sense with the Cubs not having a true leadoff man on their roster, but even with the numbers drop off that you've shown I'm guessing they'd score more runs if he was batting cleanup.


His Ks and power do suggest hitting 4/5/6, but doesn't it negate some of his speed game to have a runner like Derrick Lee in front of him potentially? Do the stats reflect a drop in slugging due to him having to pull up with a slower runner in front of him instead fo going for the extra base? Does his OBP drop due to his approach when runners are on when he tries for the situational hit rather than just hitting the ball?

It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue made of 'em was one kinda sombitch or another.

Froback

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #18 on: March 19, 2008, 03:32:11 pm »
Or my cranium was in said location.
FIFY

As we have learned this Spring, the sphincter while a threshold is definately NOT a hole, and if it gets one, it can cause problems, sometimes resulting in surgery.

Gizzmonic

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #19 on: March 19, 2008, 03:44:53 pm »
His Ks and power do suggest hitting 4/5/6, but doesn't it negate some of his speed game to have a runner like Derrick Lee in front of him potentially? Do the stats reflect a drop in slugging due to him having to pull up with a slower runner in front of him instead fo going for the extra base? Does his OBP drop due to his approach when runners are on when he tries for the situational hit rather than just hitting the ball?

These are all good questions.  Let me just answer them by saying fuck the Cubs.  And fuck Soriano for whining about playing outfield and hitting in a power slot in the lineup.
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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #20 on: March 19, 2008, 04:36:39 pm »
In other news about the dumbshit Cubs, Kerry Wood now has a sore back. I couldn't believe it either.

Say it ain't so. Tell me no. I'd love to have been a fly on the wall when Wood told Sweet Lou about his condition.
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otterjb

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #21 on: March 19, 2008, 06:35:40 pm »
Since the topic is on the Cubbies and body parts, don't forget about Michael Barrett and his testicle that exploded within his own ball-sac. Yuck.

MikeyBoy

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #22 on: March 19, 2008, 08:11:37 pm »
Since the topic is on the Cubbies and body parts, don't forget about Michael Barrett and his testicle that exploded within his own ball-sac. Yuck.

A vagina with a ball-sac? Maybe Barrett can indeed go fuck himself.
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Gizzmonic

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #23 on: March 20, 2008, 09:29:41 am »
In other two-hole related news:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,339270,00.html

Maybe they got this lady and Kaz mixed up...
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Craig

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #24 on: March 20, 2008, 09:44:01 am »
In other two-hole related news:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,339270,00.html

Maybe they got this lady and Kaz mixed up...

It's hard to tell if they gave this lady a completely new exhaust pipe to complement the stock equipment, or just retooled her old one with a new high-performance racing package.

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Gleek

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #25 on: March 20, 2008, 01:18:28 pm »
Only a thread about the Cubs could degenerate so quickly and completely.

I propose that from now on we refer to Matsui's condition as Cub fissure.
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Col. Sphinx Drummond

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Re: Cubs contemplate their two hole.
« Reply #26 on: March 20, 2008, 02:24:27 pm »
You got to treat your Cub Hole right. Eat a good diet, with a lot of roughage (or ruffage), don't camp out in there, and keep it clean.   
« Last Edit: March 20, 2008, 02:26:32 pm by Sphinx Drummond »
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