from the
SportsPickle , apparently a few days old:
One day after Roger Clemens?s agent informed the media that his client is leaning towards retirement in what has become an annual rite of winter, the other 39 members of Houston?s 40-man roster told management that they also are very seriously considering ending their careers.
?Hey, I?m 28 years old. I?ve been in this game a long time. I?d like to spend more time with my family,? said outfielder Jason Lane. ?Right now I?m taking a wait and see approach on coming back. And really, the only thing I can think of that would get me back right now is a gigantic one-year contract extension. Beyond that, I?ll probably have to retire, you know ? because of my family and everything. Or I?ll take 10-percent of whatever Roger ends up coming back for, whichever is bigger.?
?At this point we?re all on to Roger?s ploy,? said infielder Craig Biggio. ?If my memory is correct, he?s been threatening retirement every offseason since the late ?80s so he can extort management and keep them paying him out the nose each year for ? quote unquote ? one final season. So the rest of us thought we?d give it a try, too. I?m asking for a one-year, 40 bajillion dollar deal. I?m not likely to get it ? mainly because that?s a made up number ? but I hope they?ll meet me in the middle. Plus, I don?t want to have to go on road trips when I don?t want to, just like Roger. And I want our owner, Drayton McLane, to personally come down out of his owner?s box to wipe my behind after I poo. The way I see it, if he can do it for Roger he can do it for me. I was taking dumps in this locker room long before steroids boy ever arrived.?
