The dashing home plate umpire Doug Eddings thrilled the enthusiastic crowd of 32,000 with his lusty strike calls. He kept the game moving at a brisk pace with his emphatic pointing at the pitcher.
Meanwhile, the dapper third base umpire Bruce ?The Anatomist? Dreckman?s constant vigilance and legendary discernment concerning the various parts of the human face caused quite a stir in the 7th inning. As the person, the one who throws the ball was standing in the middle of the dirt hill, Bruce noticed that he touched his mouth! NOT HIS NOSE! Not his nose, thrilling call. His call of a ball on this indiscretion negated the tedious exercise of a pitch on a 3-2 count to the other person, the one who stands with the piece of wood.
Another time, the 2nd base umpire and Captain of the Crew, Bill Hohn positioned himself perfectly to make the call on that play, again in the 7th inning, (or the ?Bathroom Break Inning? as it is called,) where the person runs from one base to the other; dispensing entirely with the arbitrary reality of the ball beating the runner person to the base? pillow? thing by a good foot, he calls him safe. Way to take charge of the game Bill!
But this was as nothing compared to Doug the Lung?s brilliant call in the inning 4. When the ball thrower hit the stick holder, Eddings deduced that he did it on purpose. From this moment on, Eddings had complete control of the game. His dismissal of the old person who came out to quibble with this call was masterful.
Or so Doug Eddings would have us believe. He was a strutting incompetent buffoon who described the strike zone as a fractal.
The warning in the 4th changed the game. Beckett was chasing the hitters off with fastballs around the head, 4 by the 4th, and then dropping the big curve; he couldn?t do that any longer. As a consequence the hitters were diving in. Everett?s homer was a consequence of his not worrying about anything inside. It also visibly freaked out Rodriguez.
Lamb was another interesting case. In the 1st, with a 3-0 count, Beckett threw a ball off the outside part of the plate. Eddings called it a strike. Having to cover, Lamb ended up lunging at another ball on a 3-2 count and grounded weakly to 1st. However, after that he was on the lookout for the outside pitch. His homer was on just such a pitch.
Wandy pitched very well. He was consistently around the plate all night and allowed only 3 runs in 6.1 innings. The way he left the game was criminal.
But, despite the excremental umpiring, the Astros actually lost the game themselves. In the 4th, runners 1st and 2nd, single to Lane, he dropped the ball. Cabrera was holding at third. When he saw the drop he scored easily.
And by the way, I thought LoDuca was injured?!
Then in the 8th, runners 1st and 3rd, one out, Berkman, the Astros only legitimate offensive threat grounded into a double play. He was 0-4 for the game. They?re not going to win anything without Berkman.
Now the Astros need to get serious, Clemens v. Burnett
