« previous next »
Pages: [1]

Author Topic: AL Wins  (Read 3625 times)

Limey

  • Contributor
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 32079
  • Tally Ho!
    • View Profile
AL Wins
« on: March 02, 2012, 10:04:59 am »
Much to my dismay, I think the AL takes this contest for hottest WAGS.

In different, but related, news:  I fucking hate Derek Jeter.

I other different, but related news:  we may now know why Ryan Braun's blood was raging with 50x the normal level of testosterone.
« Last Edit: March 02, 2012, 10:07:48 am by Limey »
Logged
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Bench

  • Illuminati
  • Posts: 16476
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #1 on: March 02, 2012, 10:51:21 am »
I like Mrs. Zobrist's look.  It's nice to see some creativity amongst all the plastic surgery. 
Logged
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

Jacksonian

  • Contributor
  • Double Super Secret Pope
  • Posts: 12893
  • Anonymous Source
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #2 on: March 02, 2012, 11:41:25 am »
Quote from: Limey on March 02, 2012, 10:04:59 am
In different, but related, news:  I fucking hate Derek Jeter.

Like his fielding skills Minka Kelly left Jeter.
Logged
Goin' for a bus ride.

Noe

  • Guest
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #3 on: March 02, 2012, 11:43:07 am »
"Do yo have Minka's number?" - Hunter Pence
Logged

Ty in Tampa

  • Contributor
  • Pope
  • Posts: 9111
  • You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #4 on: March 02, 2012, 12:35:10 pm »
Quote from: Bench on March 02, 2012, 10:51:21 am
I like Mrs. Zobrist's look.  It's nice to see some creativity amongst all the plastic surgery. 

She's a contemporary Christian pop artist, or is trying to be. One of her songs has been his at-bat music for a couple of seasons now.
Logged
"You want me broken. You want me dead.
I'm living rent-free in the back of your head."

Ty in Tampa

  • Contributor
  • Pope
  • Posts: 9111
  • You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #5 on: March 02, 2012, 12:36:39 pm »
Quote from: Jacksonian on March 02, 2012, 11:41:25 am
Like his fielding skills Minka Kelly left Jeter.

Did she get signed balls? Or was that Arod?
Logged
"You want me broken. You want me dead.
I'm living rent-free in the back of your head."

chuck

  • Contributor
  • Double Super Secret Pope
  • Posts: 12495
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #6 on: March 02, 2012, 12:41:28 pm »
Quote from: Ty in Tampa on March 02, 2012, 12:36:39 pm
Did she get signed balls? Or was that Arod?

I would think singed balls are a real possibility if one follows either of those two.
Logged
Y todo lo que sube baja
pregúntale a Pedro Navaja

austro

  • Fantasy Team Owner
  • Illuminati
  • Posts: 19637
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #7 on: March 02, 2012, 01:18:14 pm »
Quote from: chuck on March 02, 2012, 12:41:28 pm
I would think singed balls are a real possibility if one follows either of those two.

Depends on whether you're using electric or a razor.
Logged
I remember all the good times me 'n Miller enjoyed
Up and down the M1 in some luminous yo-yo toy
But the future has to change - and to change I've got to destroy
Oh look out Lennon here I come - land ahoy-hoy-hoy

Col. Sphinx Drummond

  • Fantasy Team Owner
  • Illuminati
  • Posts: 16760
  • art is a bulwark against the irrationality of man
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #8 on: March 02, 2012, 01:30:41 pm »
Quote from: austro on March 02, 2012, 01:18:14 pm
Depends on whether you're using electric or a razor.
Limey?
Logged
Everyone's talking, few of them know
The rest are pretending, they put on a show
And if there's a message I guess this is it
Truth isn't easy, the easy part's shit

lc_db

  • Prime Time Player
  • Posts: 522
    • View Profile
    • I_dont_need_no_stinkin_homepage.com
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #9 on: March 02, 2012, 03:14:53 pm »
Quote from: Ty in Tampa on March 02, 2012, 12:36:39 pm
Did she get signed balls? Or was that Arod?

Isn't there an old story about Mrs. Arnold Palmer along these lines? 

...or is that urban legend?
Logged

Bench

  • Illuminati
  • Posts: 16476
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #10 on: March 02, 2012, 03:42:25 pm »
Quote from: lc_db on March 02, 2012, 03:14:53 pm
Isn't there an old story about Mrs. Arnold Palmer along these lines? 

...or is that urban legend?

There were reports earlier this offseason that Jeter gave one-night stands an autographed ball as a parting gift the morning after.
Logged
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

Limey

  • Contributor
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 32079
  • Tally Ho!
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #11 on: March 02, 2012, 04:20:34 pm »
Quote from: Bench on March 02, 2012, 03:42:25 pm
There were reports earlier this offseason that Jeter gave one-night stands an autographed ball as a parting gift the morning after.

And herpes.
Logged
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

NeilT

  • Fantasy Team Owner
  • Double Super Secret Pope
  • Posts: 11670
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #12 on: March 02, 2012, 04:24:36 pm »
Quote from: Bench on March 02, 2012, 03:42:25 pm
There were reports earlier this offseason that Jeter gave one-night stands an autographed ball as a parting gift the morning after.

He has more than two?
Logged
"I think not having the estate tax recognizes the people that are investing... as opposed to those that are just spending every darn penny they have, whether it’s on booze or women or movies.”  Charles Grassley

Bench

  • Illuminati
  • Posts: 16476
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #13 on: March 02, 2012, 04:27:20 pm »
Quote from: NeilT on March 02, 2012, 04:24:36 pm
He has more than two?

He keeps making successful wagers with Foghorn.
Logged
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

VirtualBob

  • Pope
  • Posts: 5630
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #14 on: March 06, 2012, 12:41:41 am »
Quote from: lc_db on March 02, 2012, 03:14:53 pm
Isn't there an old story about Mrs. Arnold Palmer along these lines? 

...or is that urban legend?
From the Johnny Carson show ... I think she was on with Arnold, but I did not see it live.  In response to a question about what she did to give him luck, she responded that she "kissed his [golf] balls" before the game.  The "golf" was clearly implied by context, but not stated.  Johnny immediately responded, "I bet that makes his putter straight."

I think that was the source of the legend.
Logged
Up in the Air

Mr. Happy

  • Fantasy Team Owner
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 23232
  • It's a beautiful day; let's play two
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #15 on: March 06, 2012, 08:52:52 pm »
Quote from: VirtualBob on March 06, 2012, 12:41:41 am
From the Johnny Carson show ... I think she was on with Arnold, but I did not see it live.  In response to a question about what she did to give him luck, she responded that she "kissed his [golf] balls" before the game.  The "golf" was clearly implied by context, but not stated.  Johnny immediately responded, "I bet that makes his putter straight."

I think that was the source of the legend.

I've seen video of it. Hilarious!!!
Logged
People who cannot recognize a palpable absurdity are very much in the way of civilization. Agnes Rupellier

Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius

Noe

  • Guest
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #16 on: March 06, 2012, 11:31:50 pm »
Zah Zah Gabor appears on Johnny Carson with her pet cat.

Johnny Carson "What is that?!?!"
Zah Zah "It's my pussy, want to pet it?"
Johnny "Sure, move the cat out of the way"
Logged

Mr. Happy

  • Fantasy Team Owner
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 23232
  • It's a beautiful day; let's play two
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #17 on: March 07, 2012, 02:12:45 pm »
Quote from: Noe in Austin on March 06, 2012, 11:31:50 pm
Zah Zah Gabor appears on Johnny Carson with her pet cat.

Johnny Carson "What is that?!?!"
Zah Zah "It's my pussy, want to pet it?"
Johnny "Sure, move the cat out of the way"

I saw that in film too. Johnny Carson was a master of impromptu extemporaneous comments.
Logged
People who cannot recognize a palpable absurdity are very much in the way of civilization. Agnes Rupellier

Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius

Col. Sphinx Drummond

  • Fantasy Team Owner
  • Illuminati
  • Posts: 16760
  • art is a bulwark against the irrationality of man
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #18 on: March 07, 2012, 05:16:09 pm »
Quote from: Mr. Happy on March 07, 2012, 02:12:45 pm
I saw that in film too. Johnny Carson was a master of impromptu extemporaneous comments.

Johnny was a jazz comedian. He could vamp.
Logged
Everyone's talking, few of them know
The rest are pretending, they put on a show
And if there's a message I guess this is it
Truth isn't easy, the easy part's shit

MusicMan

  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 25931
  • Thanks for 2015
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #19 on: March 08, 2012, 12:00:58 am »
Quote from: Sphinx Drummond on March 07, 2012, 05:16:09 pm
Johnny was a jazz comedian. He could vamp.

There's a reason Letterman, Stewart, et al bow to him.  He was the master.
Logged
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

VirtualBob

  • Pope
  • Posts: 5630
    • View Profile
Re: AL Wins
« Reply #20 on: March 08, 2012, 04:04:41 am »
Quote from: MusicMan on March 08, 2012, 12:00:58 am
There's a reason Letterman, Stewart, et al bow to him.  He was the master.
My favorite all time line, though, was by a guest.  

Johnny:  What would you do if you found out you only had six months to live?
Guest (without hesitation):  I'd move to Waco, Texas.
Johnny: ???
Guest:  It would seem like an eternity there.
Logged
Up in the Air
Pages: [1]
« previous next »