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[strosrays]

I can tell by your talkin'
That you think that you're right
But you're not right

[Ron Brand]

Christ. Strosrays, you are the King. Now I miss my father more than I did ten minutes ago.

I hope your kids get to read your writings sometime.

[Ebby Calvin]

Outstanding, as always.  Can't wait 'til my little one can throw and catch, for the very reasons you mention here.  Bravo.

[JaneDoe]

Outfreakinstanding.  I don't know how you manage to make each one better than the last. 

[JimR]

Outstanding, as usual, strosrays. it really creates a lot of feelings in me right now: in part, because i too have a son with whom i enjoy playing catch and with whom i get to do so far too seldom. i identified instantly with your expressions of the joy and comfort that come from the mostly silent acts of throwing and catching a baseball. thank you for reminding me of that. i never have felt distant from him, but i am not the son. i am the dad, and i am proud to be so.

the tears i felt inside me as i read were for my daughter. i love her intensely, but she is lost, perhaps permanently so. she was a truly great athlete, but she got caught up in the drug scene that TZ posters talk and laugh about so casually that sometimes i think some of you must not know that the activity is vile and dangerous and criminal. she thought (thinks?), like some of you may, that there is no harm in using and no consequences for any part of it. now she is in trouble--serious motherfucking trouble--and i cannot do a damn thing but pray. she was a good girl, with a big loving heart, but look at her now. God, look at her now.

i wonder what i could have done, what i could have said, how i could have reached her. my dad was a good man, and i wanted to be like him. i stayed out of trouble, and i provided for my family, just like Dad did. he lived the honorable life of a positive role model, and i thought that is all i had to do as a father: be a good man, live an honest, hard-working life, and my kids would want to be like me. that was not enough, and i wish i could go back and spend more time talking to her about life, morals, integrity and honor. it's just that she was such a good girl, and i just knew she'd want to be like her dad.

i know the good girl is still inside her. i believe in that girl. we had lunch today, and we talked about what she faces and about her commitment to coming out of this hell a different person. i will never stop loving her. i will be there for her during this time, but i cannot help but think i failed her at the time when i could have made a difference. God, forgive me and forgive her.

thanks to you, strosrays, for another outstanding piece. please be assured that for every regret you have about your relationship with your dad, he had as many or more about his relationship with you.

[EasTexAstro]

strosrays: Thank you, again. Very nice. I always enjoy. Every time I want to post, I think of what you are able to draw out of people with your words and wisdom and I try the RMPL thing...or at least I should.

Jim, I read your post right after you submitted. I have not been able to figure out what I wanted to say in response, though I wanted to say something. I'll leave it at, "Thank you." would love to say more over a beer someday, but you hit some tough/great chords. Thanks.

[Astroholic]

Jim as I read that I thought of my own children, the oldest of which is ten.  I hope and prey that they turn out right.

[MikeyBoy]

Another gem, strosrays. Thank you.

Jim, what a moving post. Good luck to you and your daughter as she and everyone that cares for her, fights through her demons.

[Craig]

Thanks once again, strosrays. And thanks to Jim for your thoughtful post too.

[Mr. Happy]

StrosRays:

I'm just so touched that words fail me. But if that wasn't bad enough, then Jim hits me with the travails of he and his daughter (because a parent goes through every travail of a child, no matter what age). It took me a few minutes to compose myself enough to type this, because I saw and relived my past drug and alcohol abuse, and the constant battles to stay clean and the four rehabs, jail and a few trips to the psych ward. Jim, the good news is that there is a way out. But it takes some desire and effort on our part. I do understand most of what you're going through, although from the vantage point of the addict. We can recover.