Ain't Never Been to Pittsburgh

[Limey]

To the tune of Charlene's "I've never been to me"


Hey batter, you batter
cursing at the ump
you're a discontented mother
and a regimented chump
I have no doubt
you dream about the things you never do
but I wish someone had a talk to me like I wanna talk to you

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a pitcher man
and we made outs in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces
Because I had to be free
But I ain't never been to Pittsburgh, and I never want to be...

Please batter please batter
don't just walk away
Cause I have this need to tell you
why I'm all fucked up today
I can see so much of me
trying for the Hall of Fame
won't you clap your palms
for a weary arm that has pitched a million games

Oh, I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
when I pounded the ol' Bud on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo
and showed them what I've got
I've been taken deep by kings
and I've seen some things that a pitcher ain't s'pose to see
but I ain't never been to Pittsburgh, and I never want to be...

Hey, you know what Pittsburgh is?
It's a dump
a nightmare created with people and places
as interesting as a stump
but you know what truth is?
it's that little pill you're holding
and it's that man you fought with this morning
the same one you are gonna strike out tonight
that's truth that's 'ball

Sometimes I've been to crying for unearned runs
that might have cost me a "complete"
but I, I took the sweet juice
I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I spent my life exploring
the subtle doctoring
that costs too much to be free
hey batter I ain't never been to Pittsburgh
and I never want to be...

Ain't never been to Pittsburgh, and I never want to be...

[Craig]

Oh man, that's beautiful. You should record it and sell it on the internet, because it would be a lot better than that stupid Puma song.

[Mr. Happy]

Limester:

Good Lowered! You pull Charlene out of the grooveyard of one-hit wonders for a parody. Who's next? The 1910 Fruitgum Company?

[ValpoCory]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-vx4GcjASE

[S.P. Rodriguez]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-vx4GcjASE

Thanks, I had to shove various office supplies into my ears to make the pain stop.  A warning would have been appreciated.

[austro]

Thanks, I had to shove various office supplies into my ears to make the pain stop.  A warning would have been appreciated.

I'm too wary to click the link, but I assume it was yummy.

[AtascAstro]

Limester:

Good Lowered! You pull Charlene out of the grooveyard of one-hit wonders for a parody. Who's next? The 1910 Fruitgum Company?

This brings up an interesting question...how exactly does one connect the dots to this particular song.  You understand of course that any answer other than random google search is going to be rather damning.

[Limey]

This brings up an interesting question...how exactly does one connect the dots to this particular song.  You understand of course that any answer other than random google search is going to be rather damning.

The lyric element "never been to" rang some bells.

[strosrays]

This is awesome.  Really, I am stunned.