The Onion

[Ebby Calvin]

I know Clarkies aren't supposed to start threads, and I apologize if Cabrera has onion-breath, but I thought this was funny.
In today's Onion (fake newspaper/e-zine) the American Voices section reads:

Pope Delivers Yankee Mass
Pope Benedict XVI concluded his trip to the United States by celebrating Sunday Mass at New York's Yankee Stadium. What do you think?
Ben Carroll, Window Decorator
"I was there and it was historic and everything, but come on, $7.50 for a puny wafer and 11 bucks for a sip of wine? I could've stayed home and watched the Holy Communion on TV for free."
http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/pope_delivers_yankee_mass

The article titled, "Yankees Bury Bernie Williams Under New Stadium For Good Luck" is pretty funny, too.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/yankees_bury_bernie_williams_under

That is all.  Carry on.

[Noe]

I know Clarkies aren't supposed to start threads, and I apologize if Cabrera has onion-breath, but I thought this was funny.
In today's Onion (fake newspaper/e-zine) the American Voices section reads:

Pope Delivers Yankee Mass
Pope Benedict XVI concluded his trip to the United States by celebrating Sunday Mass at New York's Yankee Stadium. What do you think?
Ben Carroll, Window Decorator
"I was there and it was historic and everything, but come on, $7.50 for a puny wafer and 11 bucks for a sip of wine? I could've stayed home and watched the Holy Communion on TV for free."
http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/pope_delivers_yankee_mass

The article titled, "Yankees Bury Bernie Williams Under New Stadium For Good Luck" is pretty funny, too.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/yankees_bury_bernie_williams_under

That is all.  Carry on.

One comment: Clarks can and should start threads.  Clarks basically should not suck.  You have to be a pope to suck and get away with it!

[pravata]

One comment: Clarks can and should start threads.  Clarks basically should not suck.  You have to be a pope to suck and get away with it!

That's because by that time you have a large body of suck work and it's expected of you.  Without the history, if a new poster sucks, we'd say "oh, he sucks" with no frame of reference, but when a pope sucks we're able to say, "oh yeah, he sucks, but he's always sucked."

[Ebby Calvin]

Unfortunately, I do suck.  I'm just trying not to be blatant about it (early on).

[Limey]

Unfortunately, I do suck.  I'm just trying not to be blatant about it (early on).

When you've sucked long enough and hard enough, you get your own vanity column.  Then, once you've taken "suck" to a whole nother level, you get to leave the column derelict and just drift around in the miasma, posting and moving as you see fit.

It's the circle of life.

[Noe]

That's because by that time you have a large body of suck work and it's expected of you.  Without the history, if a new poster sucks, we'd say "oh, he sucks" with no frame of reference, but when a pope sucks we're able to say, "oh yeah, he sucks, but he's always sucked."

Eggszactly!  Heavy is the hat that a pope wears.  Bends to the left actually.

[Noe]

When you've sucked long enough and hard enough, you get your own vanity column.  Then, once you've taken "suck" to a whole nother level, you get to leave the column derelict and just drift around in the miasma, posting and moving as you see fit.

It's the SnS circle of life.

FIFY

[Ty in Tampa]

I see no problem with this. But then, I suck.

[MRaup]

I see no problem with this. But then, I suck.

I thought I read somewhere you were an asshole?

[Ty in Tampa]

I thought I read somewhere you were an asshole?

My publicist.

[hillbillyken]

Maybe it is the science teacher in me but people can not technically suck , they can only siphon.

[strosrays]

Maybe it is the science teacher in me but people can not technically suck , they can only siphon.

There is someone I once knew, perhaps you should meet hethis [erson.

[BudGirl]

There is someone I once knew, perhaps you should meet hethis [erson.

What is a [erson?

[strosrays]

Neils Bohr sez people definitely suck.  The ones who don't blow, that is.

[Ebby Calvin]

Almost posted this in the TZ, but decided against it:
http://www.theonion.com/content/from_print/monday_night_football
Pretty much sums up my feelings for the Worldwide Leader.

[otterjb]

The Onion is great shit. The fact that it's free to pick up at multiple businesses around town is nice too.

[Bench]

The Onion is great shit. The fact that it's free to pick up at multiple businesses around town is nice too.

Free? But the homeless guys in NYC every time I visit try to sell it to me for a dollar.

[otterjb]

Free? But the homeless guys in NYC every time I visit try to sell it to me for a dollar.

Entrepreneurial geniuses. Those dudes.

[Ebby Calvin]

I promise I'll stop with the Onion links, but this one rags on Zimmerman and Lastings, so I thought it was (somewhat) relevant:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nationals_book_it_after_foul_ball

My favorite quote:

The statement went on to demand that the Nationals pay for all the damages, which total over $400 million—more than five times the entire team payroll. Because of this, players are expected to either find part-time jobs to cover the cost or work off the expenses by taking positions as congressional aides in the offseason.

The Pirates have promised to chip in $5, claiming that is all they have right now.