12.
“Pence?”
“That’s right Milo, Pence.”
For a vampire, Milo looked perplexed. “How am I supposed to come up with a nickname for Pence? Pencie?”
“Holy Toledo, eh, Milo?”
“What’s his first name? Hunter? Huntie?”
“Wait a second . . .” Realization dawned for Reuben. “This is all a bad joke.”
Alyson and Milo ignored Reuben. “I get a blue star, Milo.”
Richard Justice walked in. Milo turned to him. “Hey Captain.”
“Hey Milo”
“This is stupid. I can’t believe this is so stupid.”
“We’re bored, you ever try to write about a really bad season for 162 games? How many ways can you say more offense, more pitching, and beef up the farm? Thank god we get paid. So we came up with this game. Stump Milo for a nickname. This is the closest any of us have come to winning.”
The two new radio announcers entered. Reuben could never tell them apart. “Did she get it?” The announcer’s voice lilted oddly, and Reuben thought that might be Dolan. Dolan?
“Hunts?”
“One of us grabs one of the fans from the zombies,” Justice continued explaining. There’s always one or two mixed in there, always guys. They come to the games to wear out-of-date jerseys and boo. They think they’ve found their college fraternity.”
“Wait! Wait! I’ve got it! Penz! No, that’s not quite it.”
“But why vampires?”
“I won, Milo.”
Bill Brown and Jim Deshais entered. “I told you she’d do it someday, Milo. Can I have some of your birthday cake?”
“Because it’s stupid. If you guess that Milo’s no vampire and Alyson isn’t Buffy before Milo gets his nickname, then Alyson wins.”
“Penzie!”
“I still won Milo!”
Justice was suddenly pedantic, “It’s like the great A.A. Gill wrote about the free press, ‘You can . . . pick up bits of it and sneer or sigh or fling them with great force at the dog. But together they make up the most precious thing we own.”
“You like A.A. Gill? That explains a lot.” It was J.D.. Reuben didn’t get the joke.
Justice looked sheepish, “the quote was handy.”
“I can’t believe this. I have to warn MacLean about Kim Ng, and you guys are bored and playing a game.”
Justice brightened, “Did you read my column yesterday? They should interview Kim Ng. And I'm no Shriner, either.” There was a pause. "They wouldn't let me join."
“You don’t even write her stuff, do you?” The crowd laughed uproariously. Reuben threw down the bat and it clattered satisfyingly against the floor. Suddenly Reuben got very frightened. What if Jose de Jesus Ortiz were to show up? He turned and headed to the door.
“You may want this,” Justice reached down and picked up the bat. "There really are zombies out there, and sporting equipment is always useful against zombies.”
“And try to avoid the ghost.”
