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Topics - MRaup

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Beer and Queso / In Case You Missed It, Joe West Edition...
« on: September 04, 2019, 05:25:34 pm »

Game Zone 2019 / 8/23 Angels @ AstrosOHGODMYEYES!
« on: August 23, 2019, 07:09:56 pm »
Jesus Christ, these uniforms are HIDEOUS.

Game Zone 2019 / 8/9 Astros @ Orioles
« on: August 09, 2019, 06:20:22 pm »
Springer swings out of his fucking jock strap at a meatball slider up and in and strikes out.

Altuve demolishes a ball to left for a single.

1 on, 1 out.

Game Zone 2019 / Astros @ Database Hackers, 7/26
« on: July 26, 2019, 07:19:21 pm »
Cardinals Starter: Flaherty

Springer takes strike one, takes ball one called strike one off the inside corner, 0-2.  Fouls one off.  Strike 3 2 inches inside, not even close to a strike. 1 out.

Game Zone 2019 / Astros @ Rangers - 7/12
« on: July 12, 2019, 07:11:47 pm »
Springer and Altuve strike out, chasing fucking bullshit slop from a guy throwing 90 MPH.

Brantley grounds out 4-3. Good to see that last night's bullshit approach at the plate is still on the table.

Game Zone 2019 / Jays @ Astros 6/15
« on: June 15, 2019, 03:33:02 pm »
Bagwell in the booth, and he is on FIRE in the 2nd inning.


He asked TK if Yuli was Lourdes' dad or brother, and Blum had to mute out for a solid minute.

He accused Cavan of being "a little disrespectful to him" before the game, before cracking himself up.

Beer and Queso / The Toadies
« on: May 18, 2019, 11:03:07 am »
Way off topic here, but I saw The Toadies last night for probably the 15th time, and they are still just as face melting like awesome as they were the first time I saw them in high school in the mid 90's. They're still making new music, and their sound has not changed much at all.

If you were ever a fan, I highly recommend catching them the next time they come through.

Game Zone 2018 / 8/22 Astros @ Sea Hags Day Game!
« on: August 22, 2018, 03:23:50 pm »
Astros scratch out 2 runs on a Tyler White RBI triple and a 2 out wild pitch.

2-0 Mid 1.

Game Zone 2018 / A's at Astros 7/11
« on: July 11, 2018, 07:22:05 pm »
Sure would be nice if McCullers could not hand out 2 free baserunners to start the game.

Talk Zone / Perth Heat @ Melbourne Aces
« on: November 18, 2017, 09:00:52 pm »
Lets get this it's own thread...

Talk Zone / Live coverage of the parade...
« on: November 03, 2017, 02:22:22 pm »
This local TV coverage is horrific.

The Championship Season Game Zone 2017 / Astros @ D-Backs 8/15/2017
« on: August 15, 2017, 02:35:52 pm »

La Pina



2 outs in the top of the first so far, nobody on base.

Talk Zone / Banny is clearly a master of psycology.
« on: June 15, 2017, 02:08:22 pm »
What a fucking moron. I hope this helped inspire the offensive explosion last night.

Talk Zone / Losing winnable games sucks, but there is a silver lining
« on: June 08, 2017, 12:05:21 pm »
I was talking this over with a buddy of mine who is a BFiB (although he hates most of that nonsense too). He pointed out that the Cards have had a bunch of seasons where they dominated the NL Central and traipsed in to the playoffs with 100ish wins only to get beat down by a lesser (by record) team.

Losing miserable games to the even more miserable Royals isn't the worst thing in the world if the guys are learning from their horrible decisions and mistakes.

Better to have Giles/Gattis learn to not fall in love with his slider in June than in September or beyond.

Game Zone 2016 Archive / Astros @ Indians 9/8, 2016
« on: September 08, 2016, 11:31:38 am »
1-0 Good guys, Top of the 2nd.

Bregman doubled in Springer in the 1st.

Game Zone 2015 Archive / Astros @ Royals 7/26 Day Game Special
« on: July 26, 2015, 01:27:27 pm »
Fuck Alan Ashby and his stupid pseudo-intellectual dipshit questions he asks. I fucking hate him SO much.

Game Zone 2015 Archive / A's @ Astros - Day Game Style! 5/20
« on: May 20, 2015, 01:30:42 pm »

Pitching - You guessed it... Fuckstick



Pitching - Keuchel

Talk Zone / Anyone Watching the O's Game?
« on: April 29, 2015, 01:42:42 pm »
Playing in an empty stadium is so bizarre to watch on TV. You hear so much stuff that you'd never pick up at a normal game.

Talk Zone / Astros @ Diamondbacks Preview Now Posted!
« on: June 09, 2014, 03:05:47 pm »

Beer and Queso / Moontower 2014
« on: April 24, 2014, 10:28:52 am »
Just thought I'd start a thread like I did last year about Moontower. First sessions were last night, and I saw:

7:15pm  |  The Parish  |  FOUR EYES
     Andy Kindler, Mike Lawrence, Nick Mullen, Sara Schaefer, James Adomian,
     Ari Shaffir, Rory Scovel, Host: Kerri Lendo

Kindler was hilarious, as always. Mike Lawrence, who I'd never seen before, was pretty damn funny and looks like an ogre. Nick Mullen is a former local guy who is on his way up, and holy shit, he slayed. Sara Schaefer was really uncomfortable in a really funny way, including a very graphic (and mildly terrifying) impression of a male orgasm. James Adomian, who I discovered at Moontower last year, killed again. He was the closer for this show, and he was a riot. Ari Shaffir was really funny, and told a very long and involved joke about smuggling pot gummy bears in to Australia. Rory Scovel, who I've never even heard of, killed as well. He was great. His style is all over the place, but he was REALLY funny.

9:30pm  |  Paramount Theatre  |  HANNIBAL BURESS
     Hannibal Buress, Dan Soder

I've never heard of Dan Soder, but he was pretty great. A stereotypical pothead early 30s guy, but his material was fresh and funny, and he kept the crowd at a high energy level throughout his act. And Hannibal Burress, if there's a hotter/funnier comedian right now, I don't know who it was. He KILLED. He was so damn funny, and it was almost all new material.

I just got a facebook update from Puddles Pity Party as well:

Hello, Mark! Tonight Parish 7:15 & Velveeta 9:30. Friday NYNY 8:25 & Parish 9:15. Saturday NYNY 8:15 & Stateside 10:00. I hope to see ya.

So anyone else Moontowering, go seek him out. SO worth seeing at least once.

Tonight I'll probably be at:

7:15pm  |  The Parish  |  ALWAYS BE CLOSIN' WITH RORY SCOVEL
     Rory Scovel, Puddles Pity Party, Sean Patton, Erik Charles Nielson, Host: Sara Schaefer

Erik Charles Nielson is slightly better known as Garrett on Community, one of the minor characters.

And my second session will be:

9:30pm  |  The Paramount Theatre  |  MARIA BAMFORD
     Maria Bamford, Erin Foley

Because Maria Bamford is amazing, and if you don't think so, you're an idiot.

If anyone else is Moontowering this year, let me know. I'm flying solo for most everything, and would love some company.

Beer and Queso / 2014 Moontower Comedy Festival Related
« on: March 11, 2014, 02:42:32 pm »
As some of you are sure to remember, I posted about an insane act we saw at Moontower last year, Puddles Pity Party. A 6 foot 8 clown that sings (and only sings, never talks).

Two things:
1.) Puddles is coming back to Moontower, and has recently blown up after pairing with a group called PostModern Jukebox for a few songs: [url]Royals[/url] and Team. PMJ is worth a checkout on their own, too. But this thread is all Puddles.

2.) Grantland has a feature article about Puddles that was just posted today. It's more fun than anything else, but I gotta brag on my favorite singing clown a little. LINK

Here's the original Moontower Thread from last year, too. LINK

Talk Zone / Angels @ Astros Series Preview Now Posted!
« on: September 13, 2013, 04:12:57 pm »

Talk Zone / Astros at Cubs Preview Posted
« on: June 21, 2013, 11:47:25 am »

Talk Zone / Rangers at Astros Preview Posted!
« on: May 10, 2013, 05:11:30 pm »

Talk Zone / Astros at A's Series Preview Now Posted!
« on: April 15, 2013, 07:07:16 pm »

Talk Zone / Astros @ Cards Series Preview Now Posted!
« on: August 21, 2012, 05:32:53 pm »

Talk Zone / New From the Dugout posted!
« on: July 31, 2012, 04:29:28 pm »

Talk Zone / Astros at Brewers Preview Now Posted!
« on: July 30, 2012, 06:16:30 pm »

Beer and Queso / Two Topics Near and Dear To My Heart
« on: July 12, 2012, 10:08:45 am »
Craft Beer and Ballparks:

Lists the offered Craft Beers at all MLB parks:

Major League Baseball Craft Beer Guide
Angel Stadium of Anaheim | Los Angeles Angels | Anaheim, CA
Bootlegger’s Brewery, Hangar 24 Craft Brewery

AT&T Park | San Francisco Giants | San Francisco, CA
Anchor Brewing, Lagunitas Brewing Company, New Belgium Brewing Company, Sierra Nevada Brewing Company

Busch Stadium | St. Louis Cardinals | St. Louis, MO
Boulevard Brewing Company, New Belgium Brewing Company, Samuel Adams, Schlafly Beer, Urban Chestnut Brewing Company

Chase Field | Arizona Diamondbacks | Phoenix, AZ
The Phoenix Ale Brewery

Citi Field | New York Mets | Flushing, NY
Abita Brewing Company, Blue Point Brewing Company, Brooklyn Brewery, Ommegang, Sierra Nevada, Six Point Brewing Company, Victory Brewing Company

Citizens Bank Park | Philadelphia Phillies | Philadelphia, PA
Anchor Brewing, Dogfish Head Craft Brewed Ales, Flying Fish Brewing Company, Samuel Adams, Sierra Nevada Brewing Company, Sly Fox Beer, Victory Brewing Company, Tröegs Brewing Company, Yards Brewing Company

Comerica Park | Detroit Tigers | Detroit, MI
Bell’s Brewery, Inc.

Coors Field | Colorado Rockies | Denver, CO
Boulder Beer, New Belgium Brewing Company, Odell Brewing Co., Oskar Blues, Samuel Adams

Dodger Stadium | Los Angeles Dodgers | Los Angeles, CA
Firestone Walker Brewing Company, Gordon Biersch Brewery, Samuel Adams

Fenway Park | Boston Red Sox | Boston, MA
Harpoon Brewery, Samuel Adams

Great American Ball Park | Cincinnati Reds | CIncinnati, OH
21st Amendment Brewery, Anderson Valley Brewing Company, Avery Brewing Company, Bell’s Brewery, Inc., Christian Moerlein Brewing Co., Founders Brewing Company, Great Lakes Brewing Company, Rivertown Brewing Company, Stone Brewing Co.
Kauffman Stadium | Kansas City Royals | Kansas City, MO
Boulevard Brewing Company, New Belgium Brewing Co.

Marlins Park | Miami Marlins | Miami, FL
Dogfish Head Craft Brewed Ales

Miller Park | Milwaukee Brewers | Milwaukee, WI
Lakefront Brewing Company, New Glarus Brewing

Minute Maid Park | Houston Astros | Houston, TX
Samuel Adams, Spoetzl Brewery, St. Arnold Brewing Company

Nationals Park | Washington Nationals | Washington, D.C.
Dogfish Head Craft Brewed Ales, Flying Dog Brewing Company, Heavy Seas Beer, Brewery Ommegang, Samuel Adams, Sierra Nevada Brewing Company

Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum | Oakland Athletics | Oakland, CA
Lagunitas Brewing Co., Sierra Nevada Brewing Company

Oriole Park at Camden Yards | Baltimore Orioles | Baltimore, MD
Flying Dog Brewery, Fordham Brewing, Heavy Seas Beer, Old Dominion Brewing Co.

PETCO Park | San Diego Padres | San Diego, CA
Ballast Point Brewing Company, Karl Strauss Brewery, Oggi's Pizza & Brewing Co., Stone Brewing Co.

PNC Park | Pittsburgh Pirates  | Pittsburgh, PA
21st Amendment Brewery, Brooklyn Brewery, Church Brew Works, Dogfish Head Craft Brewed Ales, East End Brewing Company, Erie Brewing Co., Flying Dog Brewing Company, Harpoon Brewery,  Lagunitas Brewing Co., Pennsylvania Brewing Co., Samuel Adams, Sierra Nevada Brewing Company, Stone Brewing Co., Tröegs Brewing Company

Progressive Field | Cleveland Indians | Cleveland, OH
Buckeye Brewing Co., Christian Moerlein Brewing Co., Great Lakes, Hoppin’ Frog, Thirsty Dog Brewing Company

Rangers Ballpark | Texas Rangers | Arlington, TX
Brooklyn Brewery, New Belgium Brewing Company, Rahr & Sons,  Samuel Adams, Sierra Nevada Brewing Company, Spoetzl Brewery, St.
Arnold Brewing Company

Safeco Field | Seattle Mariners | Seattle, WA
Fremont Brewing Company, Harmon Brewery, Iron Horse Brewery, Lagunitas Brewing Co., Lazy Boy Brewing

Target Field | Minnesota Twins | Minneapolis, MN
Samuel Adams, Summit Brewing Company, Surly Brewing Company

Tropicana Field | Tampa Bay Rays | St. Petersburg, FL
Cigar City Brewing Company

Turner Field | Atlanta Braves | Atlanta, GA
Abita Brewing Company, Samuel Adams, Sierra Nevada Brewing Company, Sweetwater Brewing Company

U.S. Cellular Field | Chicago White Sox | Chicago, IL
Bell’s Brewery, Inc.

Yankee Stadium | New York Yankees | Bronx, NY
Brooklyn Brewery, Samuel Adams

Beer and Queso / ka-BOOM!
« on: July 09, 2012, 02:47:32 pm »

Talk Zone / Guest All Star Game Preview Now Posted
« on: July 09, 2012, 11:22:12 am »

Talk Zone / Astros @ Cubs Series Preview Posted
« on: June 29, 2012, 12:56:00 am »
Read it here!

Warning, it might be a little offensive...

Talk Zone / Need More Proof MLB Umps are idiots?
« on: June 27, 2012, 09:16:54 am »

Seriously? You didn't even ask to see the ball? HOW ARE YOU A MAJOR LEAGUE UMPIRE?!

Beer and Queso / A little Houston Beer Bar help
« on: February 29, 2012, 11:25:36 am »
Hey gang,

One of my roommates just took a job in Houston and is moving down to the Beltway 8/I-10 Area. He's a beer drinker, and was asking if I knew anything about the beer establishments near him. Sadly, I do not. However, I told him I'd ask the good beer-swilling folks of SnS to guide him to the promised land.

So, what'cha got?

Beer and Queso / Fuck David Ortiz
« on: October 13, 2011, 12:15:43 pm »
Heard/read today that Ortiz has already mentioned that he's flirting with the Yankees since he's a free agent right now. What a douchebag.

Talk Zone / This Week's Sports Illustrated
« on: September 22, 2011, 02:55:44 pm »
In an article called Last Crusades talking about which teams in the Majors are most likely to turn it around in the next year or two...

The Longest Long Shot: Houston

To their credit, the Astros have finally committed to a complete overhaul of the roster. But a thin farm system will mean a few hard years of losing. The few reasons to watch: line-drive machine Jose Altuve, young power arm Jordal Lyles and a couple of good starting pitchers in Bud Norris and Wandy Rodriguez.

Pretty sweet that Altuve is getting some national love.

Talk Zone / Astros @ Reds Series Preview Now Posted!
« on: September 19, 2011, 05:33:58 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Void 1!
« on: September 01, 2011, 03:20:01 pm »
1.)Limey hits the goofy nail on the head.

2.) Followed promptly by a heavy dose of mental bleach. Woof.

3.) Taras Bulba’s Fredia to Enlish dictionary appears to be slightly outdated.

4.) Ebby Calvin tugs on SuperHawk’s cape.

5.) Coach’s Italian Translation lessons apparently aren’t paying the dividends he’d hoped for.

6.) Taras Bulba, jack of all trades, delivers with a haiku this time!(2 nominations)

7.) Limey files this one under G for “Good Point”.

8.) Ebby Calvin takes at everyone’s favorite TZ couple.

9.) chuck isn’t a doctor, but I’d still let him try this out.(2 nominations)

10.) Bench gets a hanging meatball from Gizzmonic and blasts over the train tracks.

11.) Noe was nominated just for the length of this post if nothing else.

12.) Lurch doesn’t get a clever hanging pitch comparison because I already wrote one earlier.

And the winner of this week's Mihoba is... chuck's number 9! Unfortunately, due to the lateness of these being processed, Hunter safely was traded away before we could get him to chuck's lab for testing. Congrats anyway, chuck!

To nominate a post for a Mihoba, click the "report to moderator" link at the bottom right of the post, and in the subject line type "POTW".

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 1!
« on: September 01, 2011, 03:14:27 pm »
1.   OregonStrosFan thinks one of these things doesn’t look like the other:

2.   Ebby Calvin isn’t a big fan of a certain poster’s personal life:

3.   You should listen to Limey.  He’s pre-med:
4.   Ebby Calvin thinks Limey is ready to play keeper:

5.   Jacksonian is disturbingly familiar with celebrity preferences:

6.   Lurch takes part in a favorite TZ pastime:

7.   Chuck shows that picking on a certain HLN personality is always a winner:

8.   There’s a reason we haven’t seen much of Waldo lately:

9.   MusicMan tries to get to the bottom of Limey’s obsession:

10.   GreatBagwellsBeard crushes a hanging curve at MM’s expense:

11.   MusicMan fears the Great Eye:

12.   Lurch responds appropriately to a frequent GZ pleas:

And the winner of this week's Mihoba is... Ebby Calvin's number two! Out of all his posts, I'd bet this is the one he least wanted to revisit! Congrats, Ebby!

And remember, to nominate a post for post of the week, click the "report to moderator" link on the bottom right and in the subject line type "POTW".

Talk Zone / POTV 7 and 8 Now Posted!
« on: August 29, 2011, 03:20:56 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Void 8!
« on: August 29, 2011, 02:54:56 pm »
1.) Taras brings the leather.

2.) Austro notes the catching parade.

3.) JaneDoe is wary of Milo's social media skills.

4.) MusicMan reaches back to a sillier time.

5.) JimR's observation looks a lot more prescient now.

6.) StrosRays shows how sabermetrics isn't always a crutch.

7.) MikeyBoy on the most important Gold Glove Ty Wigginton will ever get.

8.) NeilT averts his eyes from Bench's shame.

9.) GreatBagwellsBeard knows the FTC staff all too well.

10.) Noe channels the future.

11.) JackAstro understands the hipster ethos.

And the winner of this week's Mihoba is... strosrays' number 6! Geeking out over Presidental stats CAN get you somewhere these days! Who knew?

And remember, to nominate a post for Post of the Week, just click the "report to administrator" link on the the bottom right and in the subject like, type "POTW".

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Void 7!
« on: August 29, 2011, 02:49:12 pm »
1. Jack Sutherford ponders a career change via Ron Brand (2 noms):

2. Music Man is inspired by Trum's new arrival:

3. austro finds he's underestimated Mitch Williams:

4. geezerdonk spots the flaw in the Gizzmonic's analogy:

5. Music Man hits the cut-off man (2 noms):

6. austro channels Fredia's anger, and spells it right:

7. T.J. explains Cubfan fashion sense:

8. Bench states the obvious:

9. Limey knows it's Ben Rapistberger they're talking about:

10. VirtualBob warns Ron Brand:

11. Remind me to not recruit Music Man for party planning:

And the winner of this week's Mihoba is... Ron Brand's post number one! Congrats, Ron!

And remember, to nominate a post for Post of the Week, just click the "report to moderator" link on the bottom right and in the subject line, type "POTW".

Talk Zone / Attention Budgirl!
« on: July 19, 2011, 05:30:27 pm »
Regarding your recap...

"Jason Michaels (7-10!!!, 1 HR 4 RBI)" Quoted from some asshole's Series Preview.

Talk Zone / Nationals at Astros Series Preview Now Posted!
« on: July 18, 2011, 05:48:09 pm »

Talk Zone / Rays at Astros Series Preview Now Posted
« on: June 24, 2011, 04:43:22 pm »

Talk Zone / Post of the Void 6 Now Posted!
« on: June 23, 2011, 12:03:55 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Void 6
« on: June 23, 2011, 12:03:02 pm »
1. Waldo has spent enough time in Houston:

2. Who pegged Bench for a birther??

3. chuck speaks Fredian:

4. Never challenge Ron Brand at a word search puzzle:

5. Don't think Limey will be requesting NeilT's legal services any time soon:

6. Gizzmonic has this blogging thing down:

7. Limey describes Pence's first step towards becoming a leader:

8. Houston remembers the 70's and crafts a classic (4 nominations!):

9. Reuben knows his Mesopotamian mythology:

10. Gizzmonic has some advice for Jeff Pearlman:

11. geezerdonk has no use for Fat Elvis anymore:

And the winner of this week's Mihoba is... Houston's number 8! Hire that man a backup band and put him on the road!

Remember, to nominate a post for Post of the Week, just click the "report to moderator" link on the bottom right of any post and in the subject line, type "POTW".

Talk Zone / Attention Any And All Rangers Fans...
« on: June 22, 2011, 12:20:26 pm »

That is all.

Talk Zone / Post of the Void 4 and 5 Now Posted!
« on: June 08, 2011, 04:39:39 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Void 5
« on: June 08, 2011, 04:38:23 pm »
1.   Coach is on the lookout for youngsters who hate servers sitting at your table:

2.   Cajun1300 isn’t exactly sure of the pronunciation, but believes it’s “ménage a trois” (3 nominations for the rookie!):

3.   BizidyDizidy has an excuse for everything.

4.   Mark has interpreted the Zwolle Stone:

5.   moriartp foretold the Rapture well before this year:

6.   Noe also told the Yankees to take their crummy trophy and shove it up their ass:

7.   Houston knows his ancient history:

8.   Astroholic provides a very disturbing visual of Houston politics:

9.   Reuben understands that MM was more serious about his bid to buy the team than he let on:

10.   JimR may win for this one, but he’ll never find his prize (2 nominations):

11.   EasTexAstro knows that this has all happened before… and will all happen again:

And the winner of this week's Mihoba is... The Clark! Cajun1300 takes home the gold with some... sage? advice!

To nominte a post for Post of the Week, just click the "report to moderator" link on the bottom right of any post and in the subject line type "POTW".

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Void 4
« on: June 08, 2011, 04:29:08 pm »
1.) The Spleen grinds out a recommendation.

2.) Ron Brand ponders stylish headwear.

3.) Bench knows which way the wind blows.

4.) MRaup knows it too, but from a smaller point of origin.

5.  JimR takes a poke.

6.  Ty in Tampa shows the wave of disdain.

7.  BudGirl reads between the lines.

8.  Alkie breaks down Episode III for us.

9.  Lurch reports on 'exotic films'.

10.  Joey Trum shows the simple way to success.

11.  Alkie knows a lemon when he sees one.

And this week's winner of The Mihoba is... Budgirl's number 7! That chick can really mash when you hang one in the zone for her!

Remember, to nominate a post for Post of the Week, just click the "report to moderator" link on the bottom right of any post and in the subject line, type "POTW".

Talk Zone / Astros at Friars Preview Now Posted
« on: June 02, 2011, 06:08:37 pm »

Talk Zone / Post of the Void 2 And 3 Now Posted!
« on: June 01, 2011, 01:23:31 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Void 3!
« on: June 01, 2011, 01:21:25 pm »
1.) Budgirl confirms that size matters.

2.) Limey applies for the Cowboys GM job.

3.) Joey Trum thinks Iowa State has its game options set to “Easy.”

4.) Ebby Calvin looks in the mirror.

5.  Houston channels his inner Fredia.

6.  Taras Bulba just got back from the golf course.

7.  JackAstro thinks Ed Wade is subtle.

8.  MusicMan fears no man, except Pam and JackAstro.

9.  Joey Trum knows how to handle an Alkie.

10.  Lurch thinks Jose Bautista’s been in Canada too long.

11.  Limey’s a botanist.

12.  And Limey tips well at strip clubs.

And the winner of this week's Mihoba is, Budgirl's Number 1! Congrats BG!

To nominate a post for Post of the Week, just click the link at the bottom right of any post and in the subject line type "POTW".

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Void 2!
« on: June 01, 2011, 01:13:57 pm »
1.   Lurch is a regular Tanked Commander when it comes to lineups:

2.   Chuck knows the ways of the BBGs, vis a vis das:

3.   AppyAstros keeps his eyes open for heavy petting in the minors:

4.   Astroholic won’t be tuning in to the Scripps National Spelling Bee:

5.   austro has been watching those awful beef jerky commercials:

6.   Fredia garners a nomination for a pithy, funny, and only slightly misspelled comment!

7.   Alkie does what all the best musicians do: take inspiration from previous masterworks, and then make it uniquely your own. (3 nominations!)

8.   MusicMan wonders why things are always so heavy at MMPUS:

9.   Bench tries to dance around Godwin’s Law:

10.   Ty in Tampa correctly describes the Cardinals for a sketch artist:

11.   Matadorph got an advance copy of the ESPN tell-all book:

12.   Lurch dropped a flying elbow on another needless political debate.  OOOOOOH YEAH!

And the winner of this week's Mihoba is... Number 7, belonging to Alkie! Congrats!

To nominate a post for Post of the Week, just click on the report to administrator link on the bottom right of any post and write "POTW" in the subject line.

Talk Zone / Astros @ Braves Series Preview Now Posted!
« on: May 16, 2011, 06:04:52 pm »

Beer and Queso / Devine Reserve 11
« on: May 03, 2011, 04:11:46 pm »
Sitting at Gingerman in Austin drinking a Cask Conditioned DR11. Pretty damn tasty.

Talk Zone / Cards at Astros Preview Now Posted
« on: April 26, 2011, 05:12:51 pm »

Talk Zone / Astros @ Reds Series Preview Now Posted!
« on: April 05, 2011, 05:47:15 pm »

Talk Zone / POTW 9 and 10 Now Posted!
« on: January 28, 2011, 02:22:34 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 10!
« on: January 28, 2011, 02:19:22 pm »
1.) ArkyVaughan: Carlos Lee something something something food reference. GOLD!

2.) GreatBagwellsBeard put a lot of thought in to this comparison.

3.) Houston can see in to RoyO’s future.

4.) EastTexAstro fights the good fight.

5.) Mark recaps his experience after reading Lisa Gray’s game recap.

6.) Andyzipp really regrets reading Limey’s unedited autobiography.

7.) Waldo digs deep in the ol’ obscurity vault for this one.

8.) Duman coins a pretty awesome nickname.

9.) MusicMan’s weekly entry in the “horrible visual” category.

10.) AtascAstro recovers from being butthurt and delivers a gem.

11.) chuck knows an awful lot about blackface.

12.) Limey would make a valid point if Mr. Opportunity was selling sliding glass door insurance.

13.) MusicMan remembers the good ol’ days fondly.

14.) Bench has a keen understanding of Fredian needs.

1.) ArkyVaughan: Carlos Lee something something something food reference. GOLD!

2.) GreatBagwellsBeard put a lot of thought in to this comparison.

3.) Houston can see in to RoyO’s future.

4.) EastTexAstro fights the good fight.

5.) Mark recaps his experience after reading Lisa Gray’s game recap.

6.) Andyzipp really regrets reading Limey’s unedited autobiography.

7.) Waldo digs deep in the ol’ obscurity vault for this one.

8.) Duman coins a pretty awesome nickname.

9.) MusicMan’s weekly entry in the “horrible visual” category.

10.) AtascAstro recovers from being butthurt and delivers a gem.

11.) chuck knows an awful lot about blackface.

12.) Limey would make a valid point if Mr. Opportunity was selling sliding glass door insurance.

13.) MusicMan remembers the good ol’ days fondly.

14.) Bench has a keen understanding of Fredian needs.

And the winner of this week’s Mihoba is… Mark’s number 5! He reported his missing kidney to the police, but so far, they’ve got no leads.

And remember, to nominate a post for a Mihoba, just click the “report to moderator” link and in the subject line type “POTW”.

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 9!
« on: January 28, 2011, 02:13:03 pm »
1.) Mark is really good at making lists about nonsense.

2.) Reuben takes baseball front offices to the matt. (2 nominations)

3.) The Spleen has seen the bottom of the barrel, and it’s covered in acne scars.

4.) GreatBagwellsBeard makes life easier for the hunt and peck typists  of SnS.
5.) chuck typed this with BOTH pinkies extended.

6.) Noe knows everything his chain restaurants. (2 nominations)

7.) Musicman gives us all a visual that no amount of soap will wash away.

8.) Limey is the resident Acronym and Third-Basin’ Expert (ATBE).

9.) Musicman is all over this. (5 nominations)

10.) The Spleen is starring this summer’s sequel of the year, “The Gunther Network”. (4 nominations)

11.) Limey is also in charge of Player Mascot Spotting (PMS).

12.) Budgirl… Ew! Come on, that’s my DAD!

And the winner of this week's Mihoba is.... MusicMan's number 9! There is no truth to the rumor that MusicMan has been brought on as a Special Assistant for Roy’s next contract negotiations. Although he was seen shopping for bulldozer vanity plate covers last weekend.

And remember, to nominate a post for a Mihoba, just click the “report to moderator” link and in the subject line type “POTW”.

Beer and Queso / Thursday Beer Tasting Event
« on: January 20, 2011, 03:58:06 pm »
I know this is kind of last minute, but any Austinites that enjoy dark beers and don't mind getting drunk for a good cause, the Austin Floorball Club is having a Beer Tasting Fundraiser in North Austin this evening.

We're featuring 10 different dark beers for our tasting, as well as a keg from North By Northwest for the before/after party. The cost is 30 dollars, and any profit we make is going toward shipping a set of Floorball Boards from Sweden to Austin, Tx.

Here's a link to the Facebook event page, just in case any of y'all are actually interested.!/event.php?eid=119884201413603

Talk Zone / Post of the Week 8 Now Posted!
« on: December 08, 2010, 05:29:19 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 8!
« on: December 08, 2010, 05:28:13 pm »
1.) HudsonHawk gives the SNS world a terrible, terrible visual.

2.) Alkie… well, just read it and you be the judge.

3.) Andyzipp gets pwned.

4.) JackAstro apparently knows something about Noe we don’t know…

5.) chuck takes Alkie to task, then finishes it with some Frediaese.

6.) Andyzipp is marketing something that needs no sales pitch.

7.) Mark, on the other hand, is marketing something that the Astro’s desperately needed.

8.) Alkie makes an accounting joke. MusicMan loves it!

9.) Alkie moonlights as a Travel Agent.

10.) Alkie ALSO moonlights as a Border Patrol Agent.

11.) geezerdonk understands the importance of a MLB hitting coach.

12.) Bench does a mean Chris Berman impression.

13.) Coach wasn’t kidding.

14.) strosrays is, as always, brilliant.

15.) MusicMan paints a lovely picture. Pardon me while I gouge out my mind’s eye.

And the winner of this week's Mihoba is... strosrays number 14! No surprise there, the man has skills!

And remember, to nominate a post for POTW, just click the report to moderator link on the bottom right and in the subject line, write "POTW".

Talk Zone / The Long Awaited Return of... Post of the Week!
« on: December 03, 2010, 05:54:55 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 7
« on: December 03, 2010, 05:48:02 pm »
1.)Hudsonhawk comes up with a brilliant World Cup strategy:

2.) Professor Coach fails another student.

3.) MusicMan just classified a lot of otherwise sketchy folks as athletes.

4.) chuck has this whole sport/no sport thing figured out.

5.) Navin R. Johnson makes an apt comparison.

6.) Matt applies his dating rules to soccer, hilarity ensues.

7.) AtascAstro breaks out the World War II smack. Take THAT, France!

8.) T.J. quotes the Guardian, garners a nomination.

9.) Gizzmonic is, despite everything we know about him, not interested in Jamie Moyer’s sex life. (2 nominations)

10.) Ron Brand spins us a tale of his younger days.

11.) Mark breaks the code on errors trying to access the front page. (2 nominations)

12.) MusicMan aptly translates a Limey Preview. (3 nominations)

13.) JaneDoe chooses the easy way out.

14.) Alkie figures out the reasoning behind the MLB’s new marketing plan.

15.) Mark reveals the secret to reading Frediaese.

And the winner of this week's Mihoba is... Mark's number 15! Shameless bribery gets the POTW moving again!

And remember, to nominate a post for Post of the Week, just click the link that says "report to moderator" at the bottom right of a post and in the subject line, type POTW.

Talk Zone / Astros @ Pirates Preview Now Posted
« on: September 24, 2010, 05:06:12 pm »

Talk Zone / Astros at Diamondbacks Series Preview Now Posted
« on: September 03, 2010, 05:58:04 pm »

Talk Zone / Attention TZers (Houston/Flying Saucer/Me related)
« on: August 27, 2010, 08:10:17 pm »
I am in Houston working this weekend, and have been relieved of my work duties for the evening. I'm thinking about hitting Saucer tonight around 10pm if anyone is interested in joining me for a cold one. Any interest?

Talk Zone / Reds at Astros Preview Posted!
« on: July 23, 2010, 06:42:49 pm »

Talk Zone / Post of the Week 6 Now Posted!
« on: July 14, 2010, 03:46:07 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 6!
« on: July 14, 2010, 03:45:09 pm »
1.) pots might just be on to something here.

2.) Bench views the world through Guns-Up colored glasses.

3.) Sphinx Drummond realizes something not too shocking.

4.) Andyzipp steps on a frog.

5.) Lurch understands the inner thinkings of Pam.

6.) chuck knows the real reason behind some of the Astro draft picks.

7.) OregonStrosFan knows the answer to this one! (2 nominations)

8.)Joey Trum saves all internet users some trouble with these handy templates.

9.) BudGirl apparently hasn’t been watching TMZ lately.

10.) Lurch insures that  Sweet Baby Bourn isn’t the worst nickname ever created for Michael.

11.) Ron Brand drops some grammar/punctuation smack.

12.) Mark just wishes he had a job this sweet.

13.) Hudsonhawk brings it back. (2 nominations)

14.) Bench comes from deep left field with this comparison.

And the runaway winner of this week's Mihoba is... Joey Trum's number 8! Congrats Joey, try not to rage too much about this win!

And remember, to nominate a post for Post of the Week, just click on the "report to moderator" link on the bottom right and in the subject line write "POTW".

Talk Zone / Post. Of. The. Week. 5.
« on: July 07, 2010, 11:39:32 am »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 5!
« on: July 07, 2010, 11:38:36 am »
1.) Reuben is just a concerned citizen.

2.) Froback picks himself a nit.

3.) Ron Brand auditions for a job in the Astros Marketing Department.

4.) Disregard this entry. Nothing to see here. Do not be alarmed, continue swimming naked.

5.) chuck makes a depressing connection. (2 nominations)

6.) Ron Brand also is auditioning for a job in the Astros PR Department.

7.) Waldo is a considerate guy.

8.) Fredia confirms it.

9.) Mark has a radar induced episode.

10.) Bench can go either way on this one.

11.) Musicman probably had a headache for days after this. (2 nominations)

12.) Craig is hurricane punctuation stickler.

13.) chuck is hopefully not speaking from experience on this one.

14.) outlawscotty is apparently fed up with RoyO’s bullshit.

And the winner of this week's Mihoba is... A tie?! That's right, chuck's number 5 and outlawscotty's number 14 are dead even at the finish line. Congrats on your Co-Mihobas guys, and keep up the good work!

And remember, to submit a post for post of the week, just click the "report to moderator" link at the bottom right of the post and in the subject line type "POTW".

Talk Zone / Post of the Week 4 Now Posted!
« on: July 01, 2010, 01:31:40 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 4!
« on: July 01, 2010, 01:30:24 pm »
1.) Musicman takes our good friend Ian to task.

2.) Budgirl went there. Ewwww.

3.) Limey pens some intro music.

4.) Lurch hit this one out of the park.

5.) 94CougarGrad suddenly has a lot more fans in the TalkZone.

6.) Andyzipp deserves his own computer cooking show. (2 nominations)

7.) Ron Brand discovers the secret behind cheap ribs.

8.) Apparently one legged strippers aren’t the only thing Alkie saw in New Orleans. (2 nominations)

9.) Lurch LMGTFYs Limey. Check out link number 2 on FMGTFY, awesomeness. (2 nominations)

10.) Apparently a boyscout hijacked Alkie’s computer.

11.) Bench is getting desperate for a winning streak.

12.) 94CougarGrad gets tricky with letters. (2 nominations)

13.) Alkie still regrets joining the Math Club instead of the Basketball team to this day.

14.) Coach describes the yearly Oswaltian bitching perfectly.

And the winner of this week's Mihoba is... Lurch's # 9! Good ol'! Congrats, Lurch!

And remember, to submit a post for POTW consideration, just click on the "report to moderator" link on the bottom right and in the subject line type "POTW".

Talk Zone / Astros at Rockies Series Preview Now Posted!
« on: June 07, 2010, 06:44:18 pm »

Talk Zone / Did you know...
« on: June 05, 2010, 06:10:25 pm »
That former Express farmhand Carlos Maldonado is actually on the big league roster for the Washingon Nationals?

Maybe I missed the memo, but WOW! Talk about a blast from the past.

Talk Zone / Post of the Week 3 Now Posted!
« on: June 02, 2010, 12:24:32 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 3!
« on: June 02, 2010, 12:23:45 pm »
1.) Lurch knows a little too much about this guy. Autobiography perhaps?

2.) Noe better not install this on the main page, my writing is illegible enough as is:

3.) Dr. strosrays analyzes the thread:

4.) Budgirl is clearly not Prince Albert’s agent:

5.) jmontessi finds an apt comparison:

6.) Budgirl is doing some consulting for Arizona Border Patrol: (2 nominations)

7.) Taras Bulba’s descriptions of things are always… colorful:

8.) chuck is a terrible drinking buddy:

9.) Ron Brand is rockin’ and firin’:

10.) Musicman knows a Scott Boras death warrant when he sees one:

11.) Craig can turn any nickname in to a dirty joke… Just try him:

12.) astrofan76 clearly doesn’t work in the marketing department:

And the winner is... Budgirl's number 6 by an eyelash! take that, Beaumont!

Talk Zone / Post of the Week 2 is now posted!
« on: May 28, 2010, 01:36:50 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 2!
« on: May 28, 2010, 01:36:18 pm »
1.) austro is really anxious to get started on this:

2.) and JackAstro is really… Well, ew:

3.) Craig knows a vomit-inducing pun when he sees one: (3 nominations)

4.) matadorph works as a bartender in his spare time: (3 nominations)

5.)  Limey comes up with new and creative ways to liven up  the radio broadcasts:

6.) MusicMan translates from Noe-to-English:

7.) Coach, as always, delivers some chin music: (2 nominations)

8.) Batgirl speaks fluent Coach:

9.) Sphinx Drummond knows his Co-Russa family history:

10.) 94CougarGrad busts our her protractor in protest:

And the winner is... Matadorph's Entry 4! Congrats, and have a cold glass on Marmolade on us!

Talk Zone / Astros at Braves Series Preview Posted!
« on: April 30, 2010, 06:03:32 pm »

Talk Zone / Post of the Week 1 Now Posted!
« on: April 23, 2010, 12:06:05 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 1!
« on: April 23, 2010, 11:52:55 am »
1.) MusicMan saves us all from permanent blindness.

2.) MusicMan also sees a potential new career for JackAstro.

3.) Foghorn appears from the mists and drops a soupbone on the TZ. (2 nominations)

4.) 94CougarGrad insures we will all be using Bing from here on out.

5.) MusicMan (yes, again) knows a little too much about European men.

6.) 94CougarGrad sums up a very unusual thread.

7.) austro defers to the Zapruder highlights.

8.) Mark is disappointed in all of you.

9.) Ty in Tampa makes a plea to the BBGs.

10.) Joey Trum does a mean MoBerg impression.

11.) Ron Brand  pretty much nails what’s going through Brad Mills’ head.

12.) strosrays does his thing. Which is pretty much amazing.

And the winner of the first Mihoba of the 2010 Season is...... Ty in Tampa's entry, number 9! Congrats Ty. Now get to work appeasing the BBGs for THIS season!

And remember, if nominate a post for post of the week, just click the "Report to Moderator" link on the bottom right and in the subject line write "POTW!".

Talk Zone / The maybe at some point awaited Post of the Void 1!
« on: March 25, 2010, 01:52:48 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Void 1!
« on: March 25, 2010, 01:51:53 pm »
I know this is a long time coming, but here is the first round of POTV entries. I'm going to be cranking these out every few days for the next couple weeks until we're caught up.

1.) Noe writes War and Peace II:

2.) Jacksonian can see who really is wearing the Captain’s hat:

3.)  chuck posts a page out of his personal journal…

4.) then Taras lets the cat out of the bag:

5.) Mark is a hell of a salesman:

6.) Waldo knows Lurch a little too well:

7.) Spleen banishes Philip to the back seat:

8.) Limey delivers some serious chin music: (2 nominations)

9.) outlookdude steps out of the shrouds of Clarkdom and delivers a gem:

10.) Clark in Denver breaks DaCecil Code: (3 nominations)

11.) Jose Cruz III apparently cancelled his subscription to Alkie Quarterly:

12.) Mark is a Hollywood insider:

13.) Navin R. Johnson comes up with a novel idea for new posters:

14.) JackAstro is a big British Coaching Invasion fan:

15.)GreatBagwellsBeard is a poet warrior:

16.)  das wants you to get off his lawn:  (2 nominations)

17.)  chuck steals Limey’s thunder.

18.)  Limey coins a disgusting, disgusting phrase.

19.) Ron Brand shows why he never made his millions as a baseball card collector.

20.) Craig should be in advertising:

21.) Limey the Historian:

22.) Coach gives us a peek in to Coop’s playbook:

23.) austro guarantees it! :

24.) Limey discovers the secret behind great pitching:

25.) austro works as a job-finder for wayward mammals in his spare time:

And the winner is... Taras Bulba's number 4! Congrats Taras, make sure you buy Chuck a steak dinner for lobbing that fastball down the middle for you!

Beer and Queso / I had completely forgotten about this until earlier today.
« on: February 08, 2010, 04:55:44 pm »
I've watched it about 10 times and I'm still laughing...

Talk Zone / Reds at Astros Series Preview Posted!
« on: September 25, 2009, 04:56:17 pm »

Talk Zone / New POTWs Posted!
« on: September 23, 2009, 03:59:19 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 15!
« on: September 23, 2009, 03:57:52 pm »
1.) Muircheataigh says Cooper makes three a crowd:

2.)MusicMan always looks out for the hopeful angle:

3.) Austro puts two and two together:

4.) Lurch has a great box of games:

5.) Matt says growing old with Jon Garland is no bowl of cherries:

6.) GreatBagwellsBeard has read Penthouse Forum before:

7.) MusicMan understands tax law and hooker parts:

8.) Strosrays throws the whole Ryan Ed horror show out there for all to see:

9.) Alkie offers Fredia a deal she can’t refuse:

10.) Sphinx Drummond is on top of how things work in Pittsburgh:

11.) Sphinx again speculating on the wonder that is Barzilla:

12.) Matt can break down a game like it’s 1999:

13.) GreatBagwellsBeard is a master linguist:

14.) Lurch is wise in the ways of threesome (or at least being in the other room):

15.) Jane Doe pegged this one:

16.) Limey never misses a good Subic joke:

17.) strosrays is true to form:

18.) BudGirl solves the puzzle that is Coop:

19.)Coach is very subtle

20.) MRaup is good at locating missing items:

20.)AtascAstro might just be on to something:

21.)VirtualBob clearly speaks Arab:

And this week's Mihoba winner is... Alkie's number 9! Man, I wish my birthday was coming up soon.

And remember, to nominate a post for POTW honors, just click the "report to administrator" link at the bottom right and type POTW in the subject line!

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 14!
« on: September 23, 2009, 03:52:10 pm »
1.) Drew Corleone speculates on the race for the coveted lid:

2.) Lurch speaks Coop:

3.) MusicMan says a man (or a club) has to know its limitations:

4.) MusicMan has been to the pediatrician:

5.) MRaup says that Youkalis is at best, a cocker spaniel:

6.) Limey is steeped in the Old Testament:

7.) MusicMan reveals an awful truth:

8.) Atacastro asks a valid question:

9.) Das was once in high school:

10.) MusicMan calls for mythical justice:

11.) Joey Trum can spot one from a mile away:

12.) MusicMan stroked his beard while writing this one:

13.) BudGirl needs to stop holding in her emotions:

14.) Lurch points out something we all already knew:

15.) MusicMan  reminds us all of the good ol’ days of music:

16.) Coach dips in to the deep well of French bashing:

17.) Guinness spies himself a contradiction.

18.) Limey delivers a shot below the belt (literally).

19.) strosrays turns in his thesis on the Cubbies.  A+!

20.) JackAstro pens a note to his favorite superstar.

21.) Houston makes a not-so-startling discovery about the Pirates trading tendencies. (2 nominations)

22.) VirtualBob channels Alex Trabek.

23.) MusicMan smacks chuck with a quick Airplane reference.

And the runaway winner of this week's Mihoba Award is strosrays number 19! Man, apparently all it takes to win a Mihoba these days is the ability to avoid the onset of Carpal Tunnel. Congrats strosrays!

And remember, to nominate a post for POTW honors, just click the "report to administrator" link at the bottom right and type POTW in the subject line!

Beer and Queso / Fuck you, Tony Romo
« on: September 20, 2009, 10:47:11 pm »
You are a fucking scrub.

That is all.

Talk Zone / Philles at Astros Preview Posted
« on: September 04, 2009, 01:58:42 pm »

Talk Zone / POTW 13 Now Posted!
« on: September 02, 2009, 04:04:27 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 13!
« on: September 02, 2009, 04:03:45 pm »
1.) Houston knows Coard facial hair when he sees it:

2.) JimR is a seasoned gambler:

3.) Music Man says the cash for clunkers program is a big hit with Cardinals fans:

4.) Sphinx Drummond is culturally informed:

5.) Jane Doe asks an innocent question:

6.) MikeyBoy understands the comings and goings in the TZ:

7.) BudGirl looks out for her man:

8.)Ebby Calvin thinks that JimR. walked with giants:

9.) Taras Bulba describes a standard drive through his neighborhood (3 nominations):

10.) Taras Bulba asks the standard question you’d expect about his neighborhood:

11.) Navin R. Johnson gives Higgins all the credit for this nomination:

12.) Dr. Waldo Frankenstein creates a monster:

13.) Salty Parker completely misses the point:

14.) Jane Doe wants to know if you want steamed or fried rice with her post:

15.) Andyzipp takes his Pope title a littttttle too far:

16.) Ron Brand FIFYs a Berkman quote in to a nomination:

17.) Gizzmonic… Pretty much par for the course here:

18.) Andyzipp shows that he isn’t all pop culture… Occasionally he knows some book learnin’ too:

And the winner of this week's Mihoba is Taras Bulba's number 9 in a landslide. Just like Randy Newman sitting under that apple tree singing about what he sees, Taras brings home the gold. Congrats man, you're a weird, weird dude.

Remember, to nominate a post for POTW, just click on the "report to moderator" link on the bottom right hand side under the post and type "POTW" in the subject.

Talk Zone / POTW 12 Posted!
« on: August 28, 2009, 04:49:39 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 12!
« on: August 28, 2009, 04:48:08 pm »
1.)Matt knows how things work with your 2009 Houston Astros:

2.) Craig says Wordsworth readers are better with a little pink in the middle:

3.) Craig, again with concerns over wieners of the mobile variety:

4.) Craig with “you say Maginot, I say Vaginot” but not calling the whole thing off:

5.) Ty in Tampa can quote SnS procedures chapter and verse:

6.) AndyZipp is a strong No Smoaking advocate:

7.) Houston is overqualified:

8.) Das rolls up his sleeves:

9.) JackAstro knows a dick when he sees one:

10.) Duman says what a lot of people are thinking:

11.) outlawscotty is Thunderpants’ ghost writer (2 nominations):

12.) Tralfaz should write a Baby Name Book:

13.) Limey has an intimate knowledge of the FTCubs (3 nominations):

14.) JackAstro apparently said something funny before Spack dined on some spleen:

15.) Savage knows why everyone thinks Angel Hernandez sucks:

16.) Coach lays down the SNS Wife Guidelines:

17.) muircheartaigh generated a lot of buzz with this POTW (3 nominations):

18.) Ron Brand shows why he leads the Sunday Morning Trivia Leader Board:

And the winner of this week's Mihoba in a close race is outlawscotty's post 11! Congrats outlawscotty, way to bring home the gold!

And remember, to nominate a post for Post of the Week, just click on the link at the bottom right of the post and in the subject line write "POTW".

Talk Zone / Taras Bulba's Astros @ Cardinals Preview Now Posted
« on: August 25, 2009, 10:03:56 am »

Talk Zone / Post of the Week 11 Now Posted!
« on: August 17, 2009, 10:14:34 am »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 11!
« on: August 17, 2009, 10:13:34 am »
1.) Outlawscotty wonders if a spade is a spade:

2.) MikeyBoy is on the spot with the call:

3.) JimR. knows his fables.  Maybe, too well:

4.) Alkie reacts to bad news:

5.) Guinness is one crazy Latin:

6.) Lurch follows with the tap in:

7.) Musicman goes fishing with dynamite.

8.) Coach adds something else to the long list of things he isn’t good at.

9.) Gizzmonic is teaching a Greek Mythology and the Paparazzi class at Houston Community College this fall.

10.) Coach delivers the high heat to Alkie about Father’s Day.

11.) Alkie knows how it should’ve gone down. (2 nominations)

12.) Musicman confuses his Radio Station Websites.

After some much needed time off for the POTW writing team (those monkeys really get tired of banging away on those typewriters after a while), we're back! And we'll get right to it, with  MikeyBoy's number 2 destroying all comers to take the Week 11 Mihoba! Congrats MikeyBoy!

And remember, to submit a post for Post of the Week consideration, just click on the "report to moderator link" on the bottom right.

Talk Zone / Astros @ Brewers Series Preview Posted
« on: August 14, 2009, 01:58:27 pm »

Talk Zone / Wanna see some bush league bullshit?
« on: August 09, 2009, 10:40:39 pm »
Watch Shane Victorino get ejected from centerfield by professional cocksucker Ed Rapuano. Rabbit ears/eyes much, Eddie?

The one called "Victorino gets ejected from the game".

Talk Zone / Mets at Astros Series Preview Posted
« on: July 24, 2009, 01:26:43 pm »

Beer and Queso / Hey Gizzmonic
« on: July 23, 2009, 01:38:11 pm »
Check out the google mainpage.

If that doesn't make you gizz in your pants, I don't know what will.

Talk Zone / Post of the Week 10 Now Posted!
« on: July 21, 2009, 01:27:17 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 10!
« on: July 21, 2009, 01:25:31 pm »
1.) Gizzmonic offers steroid advice to our nation’s youth:

2.) Gleach says that Limey has a ways to go before reaching elite status:

3.) Lurch is there to bring light into our darkest night:

4.) AndyZipp explains the concept of, “Incoming!”

5.) MRaup explains why he’s back on the see food diet:

6.) Ron Brand weaves a true and cautionary tale:

7.) JimR. pretty much describes a poor Moehler outing:

8.) Taras Bulba terrifies children everywhere. (4 nominations)

9.) Budgirl has apparently moved on from spying on Officer Brad.

10.) Mr. Happy has his priorities intact.

11.) MRaup dirties himself in the name of humor.

12.) JackAstro gets nominated for a regular post. I don’t  get it.

13.) MRaup notices a pattern.

14.) Alkie knows a little more about LA than anyone needed to hear.

And for the first time in Mihoba history, we've got a 3 way tie for first! Andyzipp's #4, MRaup's number 5, and Taras Bulba's number 8 all take home the gold! Congrats to all parties involved!

And remember, to nominate a post for Post of the Week, just click on the "report to administrator" link on the bottom right and type "POTW" in the subject line.

Talk Zone / POTW 9 Now Posted!
« on: July 14, 2009, 11:52:04 am »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 9!
« on: July 14, 2009, 11:50:46 am »
1.) Craig offers seasoned baseball advice:

2.) Chuck is a cryptologist:

3.) Ron Brand knows a Pam when he sees one:

4.) Kevwun understands the relationship between God and baseball:

5.) MRaup takes old man smack to a new level:

6.) JackAstro weaves more of his photoshop magic (2 nominations):

7.) Limey explains the sneaky English:

8.) Ybbodeus shares some personal testimony:

9.) 94CougarFan knows Blum is a Cub killer:

10.) Arky Vaughn on the spot with a Fredia translation:

11.) MusicMan takes a sledgehammer to my fondest childhood memories. (5 nominations)

12.) OregonStrosFan really honors the memory of David Caradine. (2 nominations)

13.) Gizzmonic? Just call him Gizzstrodamus.

14.) 94CougarGrad apparently isn’t impressed with the Astros performance.

15.) Musicman knows Noe.

16.) rifraft giving money-saving tips to recent residents of New York.

It was a close race, but JackAstro's photoshop wizardry (#6) trumped OregonStrosFans questionable tribute to David Caradine (#12)for this week's Mihoba! Congrats JackAstro!

Talk Zone / Astros @ Padres Preview Now Posted
« on: June 29, 2009, 02:57:51 pm »

Talk Zone / Post of the Week 8 is now up
« on: June 26, 2009, 04:11:23 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 8!
« on: June 26, 2009, 11:26:58 am »
1.) Mraup tries to put things in perspective:

2.) JackAstro knows his Pams and sausages:

3.) AndyZipp knows a good time when he sees one:

4.) JackAstro stikes fear in every heart.  Especially, JimR.’s:

5.) Craig expounds in a special way:

6.) MRaup knows where the stuff goes:

7.) Chuck knows how they party over at AD:

8.) Jacksonian piles on with more AD smack:

9.) Mraup says Bastardo-you say Bazardo:  (2 nominations)

10.) Bench thinks Cooper is a little windy:

11.) Rifraft dispenses NYC accommodations advice:

12.) Jaklewein gets all touchy feely about the Pirates:

13.) Matt knows what Alkie is really after:

14.) Gizzmonic really wants Roy to save some money on car insurance:

15.) Billy Zabka works weekends as a long haul trucker/Astronaut stalker:

16.) Jose Cruz III doesn’t know much about ferrets:

17.) hostros7 drops some RyanED smack: (2 nominations)

18.) Alyson Footer knows SnS:

19.) Limey crushes a hanging breaking ball from MusicMan:

20.) MusicMan types two words, gets two nominations:

21.) Taras Bulba must not work for at the Health Inspector’s office anymore:

22.) … since he clearly took a job in the History Department:

23.) S. P. Rodriguez goes off:

24.) Ty in Tampa calls in his dedication to Alyson gets himself a nomination:

What a group of Mihoba candidates this week. It has been a long time since the POTW writing staff has seen this much awesomeness grouped in to one week worth of posts. But, few can hang with a photo of Coach wearing a watermelon Astros hat at a jaunty angle. Congrats on your newest Mihoba Award JackAstro, that photo will haunt our dreams for seasons to come I'm sure.

To submit a post for Post of the Week, just click the "report to administrator" link on the bottom right and in the subject line, write "POTW".

Beer and Queso / They Might Be Giants
« on: June 17, 2009, 11:49:57 am »
I recently got one of my coworkers listening to TMBG for the first time, and in doing so I've been revisiting all of their stuff recently.

I'd forgotten how amazing those guys are. I can remember listening to a lot of their stuff when I was riding the bus home in junior high, and just hearing some of the old tunes put a smile on my face.

Talk Zone / POTW 7 is up
« on: June 15, 2009, 04:48:57 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 7!
« on: June 15, 2009, 04:47:14 pm »
1.) Texifornia was on the scene for “Crime and Punishment”

2.) MRaup delivers old man smack away from dad to Taras:

3.) Matt confides that he is indeed not a closet Rangers fan:

4.) GBB is pre-med—or pre-law—or something:

5.) MRaup with the SnS porn music cue:

6.) Tralfaz interprets Cooper;

7.) Alkie speaks Fredia:

8.) Astrojo has a brush guard on her Prius:

9.) JackAstro sort of clarifies things for Fredia:

10.) Navin R Johnson knows him some Luke Scott:

11.) Austro sees the Astros staff in cosmic terms:

12.) AndyZipp knows what to do with those old term papers:

13.) Music Man looks forward to stretching his legs out at future games:

14.) Coach thinks he’s punny:

15.) Ebby Calvin knows who really is calling the shots (3 nominations):

16.) strosrays should be a staff writer for the SnS Herald (2 nominations):

17.) VirtualBob is a shrewd negotiator (2 nominations):

18.) Ty in Tampa knows his pricks:

19.) 94CougarGrad is either Grandpa Simpson or a KGB operative… or maybe both:

20.) the artist formerly known as pravata makes a very valid point:

21.) .) the artist formerly known as pravata may also be named Michael Scott:

22.) Taras Bulba really has been paying attention to pedestrian traffic lately:

23.) JackAstro is ready to coach the Mets:

24.) OregonStrosFan thought it was a safe bet:

And this week's proud owner of the Mihoba is... Ebby Calvin's number 15! I'd stay in well lit areas next time you're around Minute Maid Ebby, Coop might be lurking in the shadows waiting to exact his revenge for outing him.

Talk Zone / Cubs @ Astros Series Preview Posted
« on: June 08, 2009, 04:06:24 pm »

Talk Zone / Post of the Week 6 now posted!
« on: June 05, 2009, 08:58:11 am »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 6!
« on: June 05, 2009, 08:56:33 am »
1.) MRaup simply points out the obvious:

2.) Mraup again, this demonstrating his prowess in a gray flannel suit:

3.) Gizzmonic calls out the Coca-Cola Company:

4.) Mr. Happy thinks Noe is a weather vane of sorts:

5.) Limey with a rim shot, courtesy of the NBA:

6.)  Ron Brand thinks Cooper would do good on the Billy Graham crusade:

7.)  JimR. speaks lawyer:

8.)  Limey didn’t like Caddyshack II:

9.)  Ron Brand cuts to the chase when it comes to Dick Justice:

10.)  believein has a feel for Fredia:

11.) Gizzmonic ranks this one just below green tights (2 nominations):

12.) Ty in Tampa knows his insurance jingles:

13.) pravata goes all Grandpa Simspson on the board:

14.) Coach went there:

15.) MusicMan closely monitors the SnS IQ-o-meter:

16.) toddthebodd has an interesting theory on Russell Martin’s glut of first names (2 nominations):

17.) Gizzmonic is a part time ad consultant at Kotex:

18.) S. P. Rodriguez clears up all the confusion and proves he’s a tech dork in one quick post:

19.) homer corrects a common misconception:

20.) jonbloozy surprisingly wasn’t nominated by Limey for this post:

21.) Ron Brand sums up the new Racket book in a few sentences:

And your winner, in a absolute landslide, is toddthebodd! Congratulations, Todd. Now don't go trying to trade your Mihoba away in some crazy 15 team deal.

And remember, to vote for Post of the Week, just click on the "report to administrator" link on the bottom right  and write "POTW" in the subject line.

Talk Zone / Post of the Week 5 now up
« on: May 29, 2009, 03:27:04 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 5!
« on: May 29, 2009, 03:26:19 pm »
1.) Craig moonlights at the Caesar’s Sports Book:

2.) Astros Fan in Big D knows his B’s and M’s (4 nominations):

3.) Pravata says Roy wants a recount:

4.) Jacksonian claims A-rod is a natural man:

5.) WakePhil has a heart to heart with Filo:

6.) Taras Bulba needs counseling but everyone already knew that:

7.) Astrojo makes a call:

8.) Otterjb sees the internets as a pitching solution:

9.) hostros7 knows Lakers fans:

10.) Coach gets to the bottom of the whole Manny suspension:

11.) MRaup thinks anyone could be a suspect in these steroid suspensions:

12.) Holly asks the burning follow up question:

13.) subnuclear must not know the difference between former and latter:

14.) Coach serves it up:

15.) Bench tells the truth and gets 2 nominations:

16.) The Spleen also gets a nomination for a true statement:

17.) Musicman is just a good ol’ boy (4 nominations):

And again it's a 2 horse race for this week's Mihoba, as pravata (3) and MusicMan (17) come galloping toward the finish line! It'll be another photo finish, and MusicMan's number 17 wins it by a nose! Congratulations MM, moonshine and short shorts for everyone!

And remember folks, to submit a post for Post of the Week honors, just click the link on the bottom right that says "report to administrator" and type "POTW" in the subjectline.

Miggy hit a opposite field homer that just barely got out.

End 2, 1-0 Good Guys.





Talk Zone / Post of the Week 4!
« on: May 22, 2009, 10:05:10 am »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 4!
« on: May 22, 2009, 10:02:52 am »
A smaller batch of entries for Week 4, but what they lack in volume they more than make up for in quality!

1.) MRaup says that blind umps and Filo have much in common:

2.) BUWebguy suggests an alternative route when it comes to Noe:

3.) MikeyBoy labels Adam Everett as scrod:

4.) Guinness has been watching those Nostradamus shows on the History Channel:

5.) MRaup brings the old man smack:

6.) Taras Bulba blesses us with a reading from the Book of Slumpbuster: (3 nominations)

7.) Budgirl is an avid JR Towles fan:

8.) Limey plays another round of “Know your VD”:

9.) Budgirl works weekends as a nutritionist: (2 nominations)

10.) Clark in Denver… I forgot what I was going to say. HOLY TOLEDO!

11.) strosrays rakes most of Astros fandumb over the coals:

It was a 2 horse race this week between Taras' number 6 and strosrays number 11, but strosrays hangs on in the end to haul in the Mihoba! Congratulations strosrays, I'm sure Taras won't feel inclined to call you an asshole over this one!

And remember, to nominate a post for Post of the Week, just click the "report to administrator" link on the bottom right of the post and in the subject line write "POTW".

Talk Zone / Brewers @ Astros Series Preview Up
« on: May 19, 2009, 05:13:54 pm »

Talk Zone / Post of the Week 3 Now Posted!
« on: May 19, 2009, 10:43:32 am »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 3!
« on: May 19, 2009, 10:42:20 am »
1.) JackAstro is a dastardly sort:

2.) Matt paints a disturbing picture of Chris Burke’s fate:

3.) MusicMan is an advertising genius:

4.) Geezerdonk weighs in with a medical opinion:

5.) Otterjb discusses Roger’s green habits:

6.) Lurch understands the green movement:

7.) AndyZipp is quick with the excuse button:

8.) Gizzmonic is a good man to have when it comes to plugging dykes:

9.) Guinness channels Bonny Rait via Jim R.:

10.) Bud Girl knows her SnS types:

11.) sporadic the matchmaker:

12.) pravata isn’t a doctor, but he stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night:

13.) Matt is either a Honorary Lil’ Puma or a member in the Furry of the Month Club:

14.) matadorph comes up with an apt description:

15.) fredia describes everyone’s feelings toward the Yankees perfectly:

16.) austro gets inside Thunderpants’ head:

17.) hostros7 does him one better:

18.) Musicman… This one speaks for itself:

19.) chuck proves yet again that dyke jokes never get old:

20.) Coach backs a whiner off the plate with some high cheese:

And the 3rd Mihoba of the year goes to... Lurch's number 6! On a totally unrelated note, The Mihobas are made out of 100 percent recycled MTV Music Awards.

And remember, to submit a Post of the Week entry, just click the "report to administrator" link on the bottom right of the post and in the subject line type "POTW".

Talk Zone / Post of the Week 2 Now Posted!
« on: May 11, 2009, 04:08:47 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 2!
« on: May 11, 2009, 04:05:04 pm »
1.) Clark in Denver may just have discovered the secret of time travel.

2.) GreatBagwellsBeard makes a valid, but horrifying, point. (2 nominations)

3.) WakePhil brings back an old favorite of mine with a new twist. (2 nominations)

4.) BatGirl isn’t talking about what you think she’s talking about.

5.) Noe delivers some high inside heat to a more than deserving Clark.

6.) strosrays does what strosrays does best… Blow everyone’s mind.

7.) Coach works nights translating for Kaz.

8.) otterjb says what everyone was thinking. (2 nominations)

9.) austro might be just a tad confused about this whole Denny Neagle thing.

10.) pravata stays on top of the current fads in electronics.

11.) … and MRaup stays on top of the current fads in finding day labor.

12.) Mr. Happy just went there. Definitely didn’t see that one coming.

13.) MRaup might have experienced this feeling first hand in his playing days.

And our second Mihoba of the season goes to... GreatBagwellsBeard's post number 2! Congrats GBB, few things scream Post of the Week like Michael Jackson jokes.

Remember, to nominate someone for a Mihoba, just click the link that says "report to moderator" on the lower right side of the post and in the subject like just type "POTW".

Talk Zone / Post of the Week 1!
« on: May 04, 2009, 01:14:34 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) / Post of the Week 1!
« on: May 04, 2009, 01:13:32 pm »
1.) Chuck has no respect for media heavyweights:

2.) AtascAstro has seen Berkman’s future and it’s highly sugary:

3.) Music Man shares his view of cosmic justice:

4.) BudGirl rings ‘em up:

5.) Ron Brand seeks out the little blessings in life, especially with Cooper:

6.) BudGirl speaks Jim’s language:

7.)JimR. engages in self-smack:

8.) JackAstro nails a treatise to the SnS church door:

9.) Pravata follows with a railroad spike:

10.) Sleepy has seen The Sound of Music  and the Cubs aren’t in it:

11.)Joey Trum just pretty much nails Cubfan:

12.) Pravata is a keen observer of Hunter Pence:

13.) Ron Brand offers network viewing advice:

14.) JimR. is a narc:

15.) Hostros knows a good bird dog when he sees one:

16.) Ty in Tampa warns Lidge about All Saints Day:

And the first Mihoba of the season goes to... JackAstro's number 8 in a landslide! Now if only we could get the Clarks to read it.

Remember, to nominate a post of the Post of the Week Award, just click "report to moderator" in the bottom right corner, and put "POTW" in the subject line.

Talk Zone / Astros @ Braves Series Preview Posted
« on: May 01, 2009, 03:36:20 pm »

Talk Zone / Post of the Void 9!
« on: April 16, 2009, 03:13:14 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) 2008 / Post of the Void 9!
« on: April 16, 2009, 03:12:28 pm »
1.) MRaup knows his way around the ring.  In France, no less:

2.) Gleach has sought light discipline in a few instances:

3.) Astroholic reinterprets Darwin:

4.) Austro provides contingency planning:

5.) The Spleen is a latter day John Kennedy:

6.)Mr.Happy is open to swinging:

7.) Austro says Troy wasn’t always playing for America’s team:

8.) The Wizard gives Burke a rousing send off:

9.) Craig asks Dontrelle not to tell:

10.) Arky suggests avoiding the line between Sir Charles and a Fatburger:

11.) Drew Corleone never forgets when it comes to his pal, Boras:

12.) Noe, why are there owners?:

13.) AtascAstro understands the power that Little Debbie wields:\

14.) strosrays has some fond memories.

15.) Lurch is a presidential history buff. (2 nominations)

16.) chuck might just be on to something.

17.) Arky fires a warning shot up Déjà vu’s nose.

18.) geezerdonk obviously has heard Berkman’s post baseball plans already.

19.) Spleen drops some serious spoilers on an unsuspecting thread.

20.) Gizzmonic offers a glimpse into his personal life.

21.) Matt makes a keen observation.

22.) pravata pegs the Astros 2009 marketing slogan.

And the Mihoba winner is... strosrays number 14! I'm sure everyone was pulling for him this week!

To submit a post for Post of the Week/Void, just click the "report to administrator" link at the bottom right of the post and in the subject title type "POTW".

Talk Zone / POTV 8!
« on: April 13, 2009, 01:37:46 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) 2008 / Post of the Void 8!
« on: April 13, 2009, 01:36:41 pm »
1.) BudGirl offers up a disturbing picture of hell:

2.) JimR  knows his Fredia:

3.)Waldo gives a manly take on Roy:

4.) Taras has been to Waco and it ain’t a pretty picture:

5.) Pravata is no twit:

6.) Ebby Calvin has seen a thread or two in his day:

7.) Jonbloozy speaks for a grateful SnS nation:

8.) Ron Brand is good with marketing buzzwords:

9.) Fredia with a nicely done zinger at Fredia’s expense:

10.) Taras seeks to protect America’s youth:

11.) AndyZipp engages in delightful Trabeck torture:

12.) Remember boys and girls, JackAstro says the next victim could be you:

13.) …and the hits just keep on coming:

14.) Clark and Denver time travels—Astros style:

15.) Taras elects to give everyone a quick poke to the mental eyeball.

16.) OregonStrosFan works weekends as Derek Jeter’s agent.

17.) Sphinx Drummond speaks of the holy ones.

18.) pravata, as always, sets the record straight.

19.) pravata, also as always, is up with the latest spelling fashion.

20.) Coach was recently elected to the SnS Welcoming Committee.

21.) Guinness asks a question nobody really wants to know the answer to.

22.) Lurch breaks down the voting possibilities Clark-style.

23.) Houston must be some kind of a doctor or something.

24.) strosrays proves to be fluent in Frediaese. (2 nominations)

25.) JackAstro explains the TZ dating scene.

26.) Fredia is kidding… We hope.

27.) Lurch apparently took roll-call outside the Alamo.

And the winner by a landslide is JackAstro's number 13. Finally those photoshop skills finally pay off. Congrats man!

And remember, to nominate a post for the Mihoba, all you've got to do is hit the "report to administrator" link on the bottom right and write "potw" in the subject.

Talk Zone / Astros @ Cards Series Preview Posted
« on: April 10, 2009, 05:26:31 pm »

Talk Zone / Post of the Void 7
« on: April 09, 2009, 02:11:49 pm »
is now posted. Read it here!

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) 2008 / Post of the Void 7
« on: April 09, 2009, 02:08:10 pm »
1.) Music Man once gave etiquette lessons in Jamaica:

2.) Duman understands Spack’s terrible swift sword:

3.) S.P. Rodriquez issues a preemptive strike:

4.) Muircheataigh offers some advice on the Q.T.:

5.) MusicMan likes his Gilbey’s:

6.) Austro offers a physiological explanation based on lifelong experience:

7.)Craig reminds that it’s a good thing he’s never been around the Shroud of Turin:

8.) HudsonHawk has a thing about windshield wipers and pitchers:

9.) Fredia, among other things,  has voodoo on her mind:

10.) MRaup knows his five tool players when he sees them:

11.) And, he knows a thing or two about the over and under:

12.) Pravata demonstrates that nothing escapes him.  Nothing:

13.) MRaup shares a vision of the Inferno and we all bear the scar:

14.) Coach knows the Fredia family tree.

15.) VirtualBob did some land surveying in Oklahoma once upon a time.

16.) HudsonHawk is a verbal DJ. (2 nominations)

17.) pravata pegs Hudson.

18.) Guinness FMLs. (2 nominations)

19.) MusicMan has some sound advice for Limey.

20.) Taras Bulba remembers how easy it was back in his day.

21.) While Craig is on top of the latest trends.(2 nominations)

22.) Limey finally posts something we can all agree with. (2 nominations)

23.) JaneDoe has a strong understanding of what Budgirl looks for in a catcher.

24.) chuck figures out why  Dick Justice’s blog gets so many hits.

25.) strosrays has a history in law enforcement.

26.) Limey fixes his way in to a nomination.

27.) and then coat-tail rides his way in to another one.

And the winner is... Number 7! Craig, take a bow... But make sure nobody's standing behind you first.

And remember, to nominate a post for Post of the Week, just click on the "report to moderator" link on the bottom right and write "POTW" in the subject line.

Talk Zone / Post of the Void 6!
« on: February 27, 2009, 02:41:39 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) 2008 / Post of the Void 6!
« on: February 27, 2009, 02:41:03 pm »
1.) Bench says Michael Phelps is a good Catholic boy.
2.) Strosrays offers valuable academic advice to Hudson Hawk. (two nominations)
3.) Austro has a keen eye for scheduling details.
4.) VirtualBob speculates on positional matters.
5.) Limey knows his way around Canada.
6.) MikeyBoy speaks for all of us.
7.) Jacksonian discusses Darwin and the evolution of the chin.
8.) Chuck exposes media bias.
9.) Pravata calls it like he sees it (two nominations).
10.) Music Man takes his stand to live or die for MMPUS.
11.) Waldo is no fan of the Zionist Sooners.
12.) Pravata hints at what Bud can expect in the legal locker room.

13.) MRaup may not have scored but he certainly shot all over this one. (3 nominations)

14.) Taras Bulba knows his way around the Houston educational institutions.

15.) Noe in Austin moonlights as a travel agent on weekends.

16.) Limey dusts off some old man smack. (2 nominations)

17.) Coach has followed Morgan Ensberg’s career closely.

18.) chuck must be some kind of doctor.

19.) Budgirl  kicks poor Musicman while he’s down. (2 nominations)

20.) Limey might be making this stuff up.

21.) muircheartaigh calls ‘em like we all see ‘em.

22.) GreatBagwellsBeard attempts to translate some Frediaese.

23.) Musicman copied this from some old book. (3 nominations)

24.) Lurch spells it out for the Chron readers in the audience.

25.) Mr. Happy coins a phrase.

26.) geezerdonk missed it by *that* much.

And for only the second time in the history of PotW/Mihobas, we've got a clean sweep! Hand the broom to MRaup for post number 13! Finally all those bribes I've been sending to the voters pay off!

And remember, to submit an entry for Post of the Week, just click on the "report to administrator" link at the bottom right and put POTW in the subject line.

Talk Zone / Post of the Void 5!
« on: February 18, 2009, 04:51:46 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) 2008 / Post of the Void Number 5!
« on: February 18, 2009, 04:50:45 pm »
1.) Jonbloozy has a gnawing problem with his hemi:

2.) Homer speculates on time travel, but without Michael J. Fox:

3.) JimR. renders a cut and dry verdict:

4.)Ybbodeus calls earth, first:

5.) UpTooLate offers a cautionary tale for you youngsters out there:

6.) Limey speaks of a love for Rob Neyer that dare not speak its name:

7.) MikeyBoy says, “howdy” to Sooner Nation:

8.) Lurch spins the golden oldies:

9.) Tralfaz knows his parental types:

10.) JackAstro waxes nostalgic for JimR’s days of headbanging in his T:

11.) MusicMan elected to NCAA steering committee:

12.) Craig once again strikes terror in the hearts of Cardinal jerseys everywhere:

13.) JimR. is a veteran of many a training room (two nominations):

14.) Lurch shoots and scores, via Waldo(two nominations):

15.) JackAstro asks, “ARE YOU READY FOR SOME BASEBALL!?”:

16.) Bench gets all spiritual.

17.) Coach delivers some high heat to a Clark.

18.) Noe knows his living dead/bad 80’s comedies.  (2 Nominations)

19.) HudsonHawk also knows his living dead.

20.) VirtualBob really needs a drink.

21.) MRaup drops a Mystery Men reference.

22.) geezerdonk knows who sluggers hate.

23.) jonbloozy figured out where Mr. Ed was spending his golden years.

24.) GreatBagwellsBeard made sure these were blessed by a kosher statgeek.

25.) Sphinx Drummond must’ve been hiding under Brian Cashman’s desk.

26.) Ebby Calvin notices some similarities.

27.) pravata cracks the code.

28.) Gizzmonic ponders the finer things in life.

29.) Craig knows Fredia… Or at least her password.

30.) Gizzmonic has apparently hit baseball fan rock bottom.

They're neck and neck coming in to the final turn, but Lurch riding the number 14 horse takes the Mihoba! Congrats Lurch, way to ride those binary jokes to a win!

And remember, to nominate a post for Post of the Week, just click the "report to administrator" link at the bottom right of the post and in the subject line type "POTW".

Talk Zone / POTV 4!
« on: February 11, 2009, 02:30:58 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) 2008 / Post of the Void 4!
« on: February 11, 2009, 02:30:13 pm »
1.) Music Man has a deep, thrusting Knowledge of the Astros front office.

2.) Neil T explains Illinois politics.

3.) S.P. Rodriguez demonstrates an acute understanding of Lesbian anatomy.

4.) drew corleone plans to spend the summer in the south of France.  Or, south Enid.

5.)geezerdonk digs that natural look.

7.) Taras Bulba knows the internets and the value of a situational lefty.

8.) MRaup is a modern day poet warrior.

9.) Music Man thinks that Napoleon would have dug Palin.  “Don’t wash,” he would have said.

10.) Noe thinks Pence might be moonlighting for AC Milan.

11.) strosrays speculates that Rudolph’s backstrap would be mighty tasty.

12.) Wild Dog knows his scotch.  And, his urine.

13.) strosrays is afraid of clowns.

14.) HudsonHawk, master of euphemism.

15.) Taras Bulba won’t drink with no rodent lover.

16.) Andyzipp opines on dictators and scheduling conflicts.

17.) If anyone knows about dispensing right now, it’s Papa Waldo. (2 nominations)

18.) Houston proves that some TV catchphrases NEVER get old!

19.) HudsonHawk acts as a mouthpiece for Spack. Mmmmm, spleentastic.

20.) GreatBagwellsBeard paints a horrific pink picture. (3 nominations)

21.) And Taras Bulba… Wow. Just Wow.

22.) pravata knows what the people want!

23.) Trey gets off a zinger during Wild Dog’s Sunday Morning Service.

24.) otterjb sums up UT fan opinion of the Big 12 Championship Game team selection nicely.

And in a photo finish, the Mihoba goes to GreatBagwellsBeard (#20)! Congrats man on painting that terrifying visual.

Remember, to nominate a post for post of the Week, just click on the "report to moderator" link on the bottom right of the post and in the subject, type "potw".

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) 2008 / Post of the Void 3!
« on: February 03, 2009, 11:19:28 am »
.)  David in Jackson is a percentage guy.

2.) MRaup clarifies the loe dynamic.

3.) juliogotay still sees that orbiting baseball.

4.) Lurch explains geography (3 nominations).

5.) Music Man reconfirms France’s position in the world.

6.)  JimR has his war face on.

7.) Lurch displays a disturbingly accurate understanding of JackAstro.

8.) Tyler Lumsden has one big fan.

9.) Mr. Happy is vertically inclined.

10.) MRaup keeps an eye out at all times for Mr. Happy.

11.) East Tex wants Jake to be happy.

12.) Andy has that career in PR to fall back on.

13.) tophar… Hell, I’m not even going to attempt to describe it.

14.) juliogotay makes a good point concerning baseball contracts.

15.) Musicman knows directional/sex-positional Austin.

16.) Ron Brand must be a South Austin dentist.

17.) This entry's spleen was devoured by Spack. RIP 17.

18.) Taras Bulba is auditioning for his role in the off Broadway Play, “The Life and Times of Omar Minaya”.

19.) chuck drops some Palin smack.

20.) roc writes his personal tribute to Mihoba.

21.) OregonStrosFan apparently snuck a peek at Alyssa Milano’s diary.

22.) JackAstro takes care of business post election. (3 nominations)

23.) Taras Bulba describes Abraham Lincoln’s baseball career.

24.) Coach interprets pravata.

25.) Musicman makes an interesting observation.

And the winner by a freaking landslide is, JackAstro with number 22! Nicely done, sir!

I apologize for the lateness of this installment. We've been pretty backed up/lazy at the PotW/Mihoba office, but promise to start cranking 'em out until we're caught up.

And remember, to post a PotW/PotV, just click on the "report to administrator" link at the bottom right of any post and write POTW in the topic.

Beer and Queso / I just have to say...
« on: January 07, 2009, 01:07:54 pm »
That sciatica SUCKS.

I've been completely homelocked since Monday thanks to my right hip/leg feeling like it's full of electric current every 5 minutes or so.

Talk Zone / Post of the Void 2, Electric Boogaloo!
« on: November 25, 2008, 03:27:07 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) 2008 / Post of the Void 2!
« on: November 25, 2008, 03:26:12 pm »
1.) Clark in Denver recalls Anna Benson fondly:

2.) gleach lets everyone else in on the big math rock show secret:

3.) Bench has a keen eye for fertilizer:

4.) Limey knows Philly:

5.) Jacksonian explains the beauty of the flame:

6.) Jacksonian on the spot again with a Hollywood update:

7.) Limey sets the youngins straight:

8.) VirtualBob proves that cricket smack never gets old:

9.) MRaup offers love and tenderness to someone in need:

10.) Jacksonian moonlights as an advertising executive:

11.) JimR knew Sigmund Freud:

12.) sporadic takes Limey’s pitch downtown:

13.) MRaup hits the wall in a good way:

14.) Bizidy feels boxed in:

15.) JimR isn’t afraid of the “p” word:

16.) ybbodeus recalls the Cold War; the Russian judge isn’t impressed. 6.0 :

17.) JackAstro utters a love that dare not speak its name:

18.) Mihoba gets off a good one! You’ll be missed:

19.) Lurch demonstrates progress in father/daughter relations:

20.) Jacksonian breaks the code:

21.) Amy knows things:

22.) Ty in Tampa isn’t on the Bolivar Ferry:

23.) roadrunner expresses the concern we all feel:

24.) JackAstro brings it strong to the doucheclan known as Cubfan:

And the winner of the first official Mihoba is... roadrunner with entry number 23! Self preservation at it's finest, folks! Congrats roadrunner!

The POTV will continue as warranted, and another POTV should be in the VERY near future due to the huge volume of nominations in the last month or so. To report a post for POTV/W, just click the "report to moderator" link on the bottom right and in the subject line, type "POTW".

Talk Zone / POTW 19 Posted!
« on: September 26, 2008, 06:38:12 pm »
Awww yeah, I'm pumping out the hits like Men Without Hats today!

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) 2008 / POTW 19
« on: September 26, 2008, 06:29:23 pm »
1.) Jacksonian fires one across Bizidy's bow.

2.) MusicMan states the ridiculously obvious.

3.) MusicMan obviously hit his refresh button a few times during SnS's downtime.

4.) Arky Vaughn has it alllll planned out.

5.) Jacksonian knows the real reason why SnS is adored by the masses.

6.) Bench knows how to amp up the popularity of a washed up 90's grunge singer.

7.) Jacksonian sums up the return of SnS nicely. (2 nominations)

8.) Jacksonian (again?!) points out that being able to watch the game isn't always a good thing.

9.) Craig's preview concerning the "home" series at Wrigley North garners a nomination.

10.) Taras Bulba sums up Astro and fan feelings toward the Cubs and their whining about pre-Ike weather conditions nicely.

11.) Batgirl scares the hell out of me!

12.) What would POTW be without its traditional lawyer zing? OregonStrosFan obliges.

13.) Jacksonian has this storm preparation stuff down to an art form.

14.) GreatBagwellsBeard zings the Racket.

15.) Jacksonian coins a phrase.

And the winner by a nose is... Jacksonian's number 1. Take THAT Bizidy!

POTW would also like to apologize to anyone that was credited with a POTW nominee that was lost due to the slight slippage thanks to Hurricane Ike.

Remember, to nominate a post for the coveted Stubing award, just simply click the "report to moderator" link at the bottom right of every post and type "POTW" or something witty concerning the POTW (or an essay in ybbodeus's case) in the subject line.

Talk Zone / Braves Series Preview is posted
« on: September 26, 2008, 05:24:29 pm »

Talk Zone / POTW 18!
« on: September 12, 2008, 10:10:11 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) 2008 / POTW 18
« on: September 12, 2008, 10:07:47 pm »
1.) VirtualBob puts long odds on a lineup change.

2.) EasTexAstro speculates on instant replay rule changes.

3.) JackAstro drips.. check that.... pours on the sarcasm.

4.) Lurch started this epic thread on apparently false pretenses.

5.) MRaup breaks out his favorite under-utilized words.

6.) Arky Vaughan introduces a new term for the lazy researcher.

7.) To completely eliminate two teams from the race, pravata takes no chances at failure.

8.) BatGirl completely silences Limey, not an easy task. Two nominations.

9.) Arky Vaughan smacks the Gas Can with a real dilemma.

10.) MRaup provides a unique, uplifting spellcheck.

11.) pravata jumps in the Kaz Matsui injury debate.

12.) More ill will heaped upon our division mates, this time by Limey.

13.)austro creates a new strain of vegetarian.

14.) MikeyBoy knows an awful lot about Monkey Business. (2 nominations)

15.) Mihoba loves a rainy night. (2 nominations)

16.) Taras Bulba is really Cam Bonifay?

17.) Arky Vaughn won't let anyone cut in front of him in THIS line. (2 nominations)

18.) But MusicMan is sees the dollar signs behind said line.

19.) Musicman lives up to his screen name with this observation.

20.) geezerdonk finds a unique way to define sublime.

21.) strosrays, duct tape salesman extraordinaire. (2 nominations)

22.) Taras Bulba absolutely crushes this one. (2 nominations)

23.) das gets the very first POTWeatherA nomination.

Envelope please...

And the winner is... Taras Bulba's number 22! Good luck doing your own taxes this year, buddy!

Remember, to submit a Post of the Week, all you have to do is hit the "report to moderator" button at the bottom right of the post, and in the subject type "POTW".

Beer and Queso / RIP Don LaFontaine
« on: September 02, 2008, 11:33:04 am »
What a shitty way to start my work week.

Talk Zone / Astros @ Mets Series Preview Posted
« on: August 22, 2008, 05:17:52 pm »

Talk Zone / POTW Week 15 Posted!
« on: August 22, 2008, 02:12:42 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) 2008 / POTW 15
« on: August 22, 2008, 02:11:39 pm »
1.) Coach knocks a softball from Limey right out of the park.

2.) MusicMan reports on a pending event at MMP.

3.) Gizzmonic reads a page from Budgirl's TV Guide.

4.) Coach modifies a favorite saying of his.

5.) GreatBagwellsBeard  finally finds the perfect comparison to Wesley Wright's baby face.

6.) MRaup gives an appropriate response to any post by LOEs.

7.) Taras Bulba speaks on a topic he holds dear to his… errr… heart.

8.) MRaup reports on the car crash at MMPand grabs three nominations.

9.) Coach (again?!) dons his top hat and monocle to make this observation.

10.) Taras Bulba put on his hip waders and explores the depths of Limey's twisted mind.

11.) Taras Bulba comments on the cosmic gameshow.

12.) How to lose a 'Vette, part I.

13.) How to lose a 'Vette, part II.

14.) jonbloozy works weekends as the TZ bouncer.

15.) Jacksonian comes up and in on Gizzmonic.

16.) Coach designs faith based uniforms in his spare time. (3 nominations)

17.) Limey has sticky links, according to MRaup. No one else was brave enough to check.

18.) Jacksonian knows Arkansas.

19.) Taras Bulba introduces the International SnS Handsign.

20.) pravata instructs a Clark to the preferred method of watching a game.

21.) Taras Bulba knows Richard Justice.

22.) BudGirl has the best Berkman slumpbuster idea.

23.) Limey with the definition of Spaz.

24.) Jacksonian leaves himself wide open, so JaneDoe cuts him off.

25.) JimR spots a trend halfway across the globe.

Let the Civil War begin! This one came down to the wire between family members. Coach (#16) and MarkR (#8) duked it out, and Coach scores the TKO in the 15th round by 2 votes to take POTW honors. Congrats to Coach, who finally won a POTW without a CoRussaWinner!

Remember, anyone can nominate a POTW. All you've got to do is click the "Report to Moderator" link at the bottom right of the post and write POTW in the subject line.

Talk Zone / POTW 13 Posted!
« on: August 08, 2008, 03:26:29 pm »

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) 2008 / POTW 13
« on: August 08, 2008, 03:25:25 pm »
1.) Lurch knows Oriental thug.
2.) MusicMan quotes everyone's favorite character from The Stand and snags a nomination.

3.) Lurch gives a lesson in probability.

4.) OregonStrosFan defends The Whore, then kicks him in the junk when he lets his guard down.

5.) matadorph describes Houston radio to a T.

6.) Noe in Austin does his best Morgan Ensberg impression.

7.) Ebby Calvin ponders fine dining at Miller Park.

8.) Craig names Jimmy Buffet’s new Hit.

9.) chuck gives some insight to his personal Worrell Button. (3 nominations)

10.) MusicMan knows the post-game spread pecking order. (2 nominations)

11.) Gizzmonic knows his South American pubes.

12.) mihoba is an amateur property appraiser.

13.) MusicMan, the master of the caplock keystroke.

14.)MRaup get a deserved nomination for a slam in his Cubs series preview.

15.) Twoniner gets a nomination for linking a pitch tracker.

16.) MRaup gets nominated for three replies in the ‘stash thread.

17.) homer gets three nominations for knowing the real Biggio book.

18.) Then Limey chimes in on the foreword of the book. Two nominations.
19.) MRaup gets in some old man smack. Bye bye Corvette!

20.) GreatBagwellsBeard uses science to diss douchebags.

21.) And yet another mustache nomination for MRaup.

And the winner is... chuck, with number 9! Well played sir, well played indeed.

Remember, to nominate a Post of the Week, all you have to do is click the "Report to Moderator" link down on the bottom right and in the subject line write "POTW"!

Keep 'em coming, guys.

Talk Zone / Astros @ Cubs Series Preview Posted
« on: August 04, 2008, 04:07:55 pm »

Talk Zone / This Just In...
« on: July 26, 2008, 08:49:11 pm »
Hunter Wendelstedt is a fucking horrible home plate umpire.

Talk Zone / POTW # 11 Posted!
« on: July 25, 2008, 02:15:10 pm »
Read it here!

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) 2008 / POTW #11
« on: July 25, 2008, 02:10:57 pm »
1.) Taras Bulba with a road trip limerick.

2.) And he also gets a nomination for his description of his youth.

3.) geezerdonk wonders about female sports...

4.) ...followed by the answer from Craig. (And a SnS record six nominations!)

5.) MRaup comments on the facial hair at MMP.

6.) Jacksonian weighs in on Towles' trip back to Round Rock.

7.) Speculation on Wade's personal defense by Kent's Mustache. (2 noms)

8.) Limey, the SnS hostage negotiator.

9.) MusicMan gets all defensive when a former 'Horn QB is questioned.

10.) Taras Bulba was promptly captured and interrogated by the Astro Secret Police after making this post.

11.) Gizzmonic learns that Star Wars references will get you nominated in a hurry round these parts.

12.) MusicMan just wants his kids off the damn roof.

13.) Taras Bulba does some real estate speculating.

14.) Gizzmonic paints a slightly positive portrait of Brad Lidge. (2 nominations)

15.) Taras Bulba (again? Damn!) gives his perspective on MMA fighting.

16.) Gizzmonic paints a slightly grosser portrait of the 2007 Brew Crew's encounter with a Furry Convention.

17.) The Spleen brings us this Public Service Announcement.

18.) pravata gives his unique perspective on this season.

19.) Astroholic attempts to push Limey over the edge.

20.) JackAstro provides another unique take on MMA fighting.

And the winner is... #4! Congrats Craig, you filthy animal!

Friendly reminder: To submit a post as Post of the Week, just click on the Report to Moderator link down on the bottom right and enter "POTW" in the subject line.

Game Zone 2008 Archive / Fuck the Cubs 7-20
« on: July 20, 2008, 01:15:13 pm »
Fuck the fucking Cubs.

Game Zone 2008 Archive / Fuck the Cubs 7/18
« on: July 18, 2008, 06:45:59 pm »
Reporting live from hiiiiiigh up in foul territory down the lf line, MRaup here. Haven't seen the lineup yet, but Erstad is running sprints on the field, so I'm suspecting he is starting. Maybe in cf for Bourn against the left?

Talk Zone / Cubs at Astros Preview Posted...
« on: July 18, 2008, 11:44:27 am »

Sorry for the lack of detail, I swear I'll do better next time...

Game Zone 2008 Archive / Good Guys @ Bravos 7-6
« on: July 06, 2008, 12:41:46 pm »
Rain Delayed according to the scroll across the bottom of this fascinating Contour Ab Firmer Informercial I'm watching.

Talk Zone / POTW Week 8 Posted!
« on: July 04, 2008, 05:21:52 pm »
Read it here!

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) 2008 / POTW #8
« on: July 04, 2008, 05:17:03 pm »
After a slow week last week, another massive dose of the funny this go round.

1.) Veteran TalkZone contributor Ty in Tampa tries to teach the rookie right.

2.) MRaup translates a ‘mound’ conference.

3.) pravata knows all about coonass ranchers.

4.) strosrays comments on a rookie pinch runner peacemaker. Two nominations.

5.) Astroholic speculates on Chacon’s real motivation after an assist from Lurch.

6.) Noe in Austin gets all serious and makes way too much sense, as noted by the three nominations.

7.) Bench reminds BatGirl of her posting style.

8.) Coach shockingly uses a pop cultural reference.

9.) sporadic gets inside Chacon’s head.

10.)  MusicMan with a case of clubhouse etiquette.

11.) Noe in Austin with a noteworthy short reply.

12.) AndyZipp gives us the Chacon family history.

13.) MikeyBoy with yet another Chacon mindspeak.

14.) BudGirl gets all sarcastic defending her flame and his failed sacrifice.

15.) A certain poster who shall remain nameless needs more than a phone number.

16.) Gizzmonic gives us a taste of the latest trend in trashy novels, Jersey Rippers. (2 nominations)

17.) Coach warns the community of the dangers in listening to Noe’s stories. (3 Nominations)

18.) Andyzipp ruins the Lil’ Pumas for everyone.

19.) muircheartaigh delivers some Bob Wickman smack. (2 nominations)

20.) BatGirl delivers some impromptu poetry/self smack.

21.) And Coach opines on BatGirl's… unusual writing style.

22.) MusicMan hops on the BatGirl bandwagon.

23.) MusicMan goes up and in on Joey Trum, but just misses the upturned nose.

24.) mihoba creates a new glossary entry, and gets nominated in the process.

25.) Austro speculates on Villarreal's struggles.

26.) MusicMan writes out step by step instructions for appeasing the Baseball Gods after offending them.

27.) Jose Cruz III sees the error of his ways.

And its a close race coming around the final turn... It'll be a photo finish! Neck and neck at the finish line are Noe in Austin (6) and JimR (17)! Another Co-Stubing! Congratulations guys!

Remember: To submit a post for Post Of The Week, click the "report to administrator" link at the bottom right, and in the subject write "POTW".

Game Zone 2008 Archive / Dojers at Good Guys 6-30
« on: June 30, 2008, 07:09:18 pm »
Anyone out there?

Talk Zone / Red Sox @ Astros Preview Posted...
« on: June 27, 2008, 05:32:24 pm »

Talk Zone / POTW 7 Posted!
« on: June 27, 2008, 12:29:27 pm »
Read it here!

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) 2008 / POTW #7
« on: June 27, 2008, 12:28:17 pm »
After last week's enormous amount of contributions, this week's class looks tiny by comparison. Fear not though, it's small, but its fierce!

1.) MRaup changes the TZ batting order, and gathered two nominations.
2.) In the Game Zone, strosrays provides the exact time WTF has occurred.
3.) pravata digs up an Adam Dunn quote after the Jay's GM throws him under the bus.
5.) BudGirl with a blunt cost analysis at the expense of Ty in Tampa.
6.) Also from the GZ, OregonStrosFan with a case of dripping sarcasm.

7.) Mikeyboy understands the Houston media.

8.) Musicman channels his inner stat-geek. (2 nominations)

9.) Homer brings all stat-geek conversation to a screeching halt. (2 nominations, both by Noe)

10.) Musicman gives a new spin on Berkman’s success from the right side of the plate. (2 nominations)

11.) Limey coins a new phrase.

12.) The Spleen finds an apt comparison for Miggy’s recent plate struggles.

And in a landslide victory, Musicman's spin doctoring in nomination number 10 wins him Post of the Week 7! Congrats MM!

Remember: To nominate a post for POTW, all you've got to do is click the little link down at the bottom right that says "report to moderator" and in the subject line write "POTW".

Keep those contributions coming!

Talk Zone / Brewers @ Astros Series Preview Posted...
« on: June 10, 2008, 04:43:06 pm »
Now waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAaaaaaait a minute...

Talk Zone / Thank God!
« on: June 03, 2008, 07:16:05 pm »
For those of you who missed it during the Jakes series... Thank me later...

Talk Zone / POTW Week 3 Posted!
« on: May 30, 2008, 11:33:01 am »
Check it out here.

Post of the Week (The Mihoba) 2008 / POTW Week 3!
« on: May 30, 2008, 11:31:59 am »
1.) MRaup takes a jab at the former wunderkid. (2 nominations)

2.) Noe shockingly provides a one-liner to fix Roy.

3.) Rob Neyer has nothing on a ferret.

4.) strosrays explains "goofy look" perfectly.

5.) Ty in Tampa has a new title for AndyZipp.

6.) pravata channeling what Bourn wanted to say in his post game interview with Patti Smith. (3 nominations)

7.) Taras Bulba smacks Limey for his across the pond spelling.

8.) MRaup details a future standoff of umpire CB Bucknor vs. the proposed new replay official.

9.) Hudsonhawk lets his NFL affiliation be known.

10.) Budgirl gets a fat pitch and drills it off the A in “BIG MAC”.

11.) Limey zings the Jake coaching staff.

12.) JimR relives his coaching glory da… oh shit!

13.) Musicman figures it out.

14.)pravata comes to a realization about Rick Ankiel.

15.) Noe ponders the fate of Chris Sampson (in less than 1000 words, no less!).

16.) kevwun comes up with a new system for pitchers to take out their post-outing aggression.

What a great week's worth of submissions. Definitely the best overall class of the young season.

And the winner is...

Our very own Ferret on Double Espresso! Pravata takes the Stubing in a freaking landslide with post number 6! Congrats Pravata!

Talk Zone / Breaking Astros News:
« on: May 28, 2008, 05:38:57 pm »
Via MLB Alert Text Message:

The Astros have obtained Jorge Sosa and have sent him to AAA Affiliate Round Rock.

Talk Zone / Philles @ Astros Series Preview Posted
« on: May 22, 2008, 10:56:06 pm »

Talk Zone / First POTW of the 2008 Season!
« on: May 15, 2008, 01:23:18 pm »

Its baaaaaaaaack...

1.  MusicMan and PETA agree on an exit strategy.

2. Those Kaz + two hole jokes NEVER get old!

3. Mihoba speculates on Spaz’s… youthful exuberance.

4. TZ newcomer Ebby Calvin causes sarcasm-o-meters everywhere to spike with his first POTW contribution.

5. Otterjb explains Soriano’s injury in his own words, and smacks down the Cubs in the process.

6.Coach is concerned about the welfare of the fielders playing behind Chris Sampson.

7. More Sampson smack, this time from homer.

8. Pravata delves far deeper into papal headwear than any of us ever cared to go.

9. Chuck runs smack on the ballpark patrons we all hate.

10. Mikeyboy drops some Ice Cube lyrics, fucks around, and picks up his 2nd POTW nomination of the week.

11.  MusicMan speculates on why certain stocks are rising.

12. Noe actually describes something in less than 1000 words!

13. Limey takes the feed from Taras Bulba and fires it.

14. Craig adds a condiment to the lineup BLT sandwich.

15. Probably not wise to piss off JaneDoe! She blows away Rajah in limerick form.

16. pravata speculates on Oswalt's investment in waterfront property.

17. Jacksonian knows exactly what Clemens does in the warm summer months.

18. Coach or Papa Grande? You decide!

19. pravata smacks down the BFiB.

20. MRaup lets his imagination run wild.

21. strosrays rocks out a few Cincinnati lyrics.

22. pravata gets another nomination for this take on the Jakes.

Kicking off the 2008 season (slightly late, in true SnS style), but some great early season submissions. And without further ado, the winner is..... JaneDoe, throwing some lyrical high heat at The Racket's chin!

Congrats Jane!

Also, a friendly reminder. To nominate a POTW, just click on the "report to moderator" link at the bottom of the post, and in the text box put "POTW" or somesuch.

Talk Zone / Nationals @ Astros Preview Posted.
« on: May 06, 2008, 02:35:34 pm »
Read it here!

... And bring a fly swatter, for Chrissake.

Talk Zone / Padres @ Astros Preview Posted!
« on: April 21, 2008, 04:12:39 pm »

Talk Zone / Classiest thing I've seen today...
« on: April 08, 2008, 06:14:15 pm »

Talk Zone / Astros at Cubs Series Preview Posted
« on: April 03, 2008, 07:31:06 pm »

Talk Zone / Off (Astros) Topic - Rangers Send Salty down...
« on: March 26, 2008, 04:24:10 pm »

News Archive 2007 / A Little Bit of Everything...
« on: September 29, 2007, 11:53:44 pm »
W: Brandon Backe
L: Jeff Bennett
S: Brad Lidge

AP Recap


Biggio started his first game since 1991 at catcher, Ausmus started his first game ever at a position other than catcher, and the Astros managed to win another Biggio Special Day.

2 innings of Biggio at catcher went without a hitch, including a nice pick of a curve ball swinging strike 3. Ausmus had one grounder, which he threw on to first for the forceout.

In the top of the first, Biggio doubled down the left field line, number 667, and Berkman absolutely demolished a ball deep in to the right field cheap seats to make it two nil early on. Backe gave back a run in the second, but had a great outing: 6 innings, scattering 4 hits and 1 run with 4 strikeouts.

In the bottom of the 5th, Backe cranked a ball just over the right center field fence near the bullpen to provide all the insurance the Good Guys would need.

Sarfate scattered 3 hits in the 7th and gave up a run on a sac fly to trim the lead down to 3-2 before giving way to the bullpen mainstays.

Qualls pitched a filthy 8th, giving up one hit and punching out two Bravos.

Lidge came on to seal the deal the deal in the 9th. Two weak flies to left and a nasty slider swing anna miss later, Biggio's second to last game was a W for the Astros.

Bidge had a nice night, going 2-4 with a single a double and a run scored.

No Gamezone to speak of, you buncha slackers.

Tune in tomorrow at 1pm for the real deal farewell to Pigpen.

Talk Zone / Former Astro...
« on: September 29, 2007, 01:45:32 am »
Charlton Jimerson is playing on the Mariners big club...

Stole a base tonight as a PR.;_ylt=An6NfU5kYuCwmZLd0U.EN3e4u7YF?gid=270928112


Minute Maid Park

Friday, September 28, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Saturday, September 29, 6:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Sunday, September 30, 1:05 p.m. CDT – FSN

   Well, here it is. The moment we’ve been dreading. Craig Biggio is riding off into the hustle-colored sunset. Apparently hustle and the constant smog over Houston look a lot alike. Drawing the last preview of the year is both a blessing and a curse. This will be the preview you remember going in to the void.

Or it will be the preview you wish you could forget about all off-season… No pressure or anything.

Projected Matchups from

Jo Jo Reyes (1-2, 6.75) v. Matt Albers (4-10, 5.88)

Jo Jo Reyes. Man. His real name isn’t anything hard to pronounce or weird. Why the hell would you choose to go by Jo Jo if your name is Joseph? Seriously. Also, Jo Jo Reyes is the president of the Matt Albers Look Alike Fan Club (non-goatee division)(MALAFC).

Since this preview is all about Biggio’s Last (home)Stand, we’ll only be focusing on Craig against whichever schlub the Bravos are sending out to the hill. Bidge hasn’t ever faced Jo Jo, so there isn’t much to talk about here.

Fat Albers has given up 3 runs or less in 7 of his last 11 starts, and has a sparkling 2-6 record to show for it. In his 4 other starts, he’s given up 22 runs in 16 and a third innings. Ugh. Albers definitely has nasty stuff, and if he can get a harness on it, he’ll be a mainstay in someone’s rotation for a while.

Albers hasn’t seen much of the Braves: Teixeira has one hit in thee at bats, but that hit was a massive three run shibby. Francoeur has a hit in three trips, Renteria has a hit and a walk, and some guy I’ve never heard of named Kelly Johnson has a three run homer in his only plate appearance as well. The Ancient One (Julio Franco) rounds out the hit parade. The rest of douche bags are hitless against him.


Jeff Bennett (2-0, 2.75) v. Brandon Backe (2-1, 4.37)

   I don’t have a fucking clue who Jeff Bennett is, but apparently he won the WCW Heavyweight Title in April of 2000, defeating Diamond Dallas Page at Spring Stampede… What? Oh, right. That was Jeff Jarrett, who thinks you’re all a buncha slapnuts. Anyway, who gives a shit about Jeff Bennett.

Bidge has faced Mr. Bennett once, and worked a walk. So far, this idea hasn’t worked out very well.

   Brandon “Sugar High” Backe has been bouncing off the walls since coming off the DL about 3 years earlier than anyone expected after Tommy John surgery. Backe has kept things pretty much under control, although not dealing “anything filthy” yet. He says he is learning how to get outs with inferior stuff, which can only help down the road I would think. Anyway, this will be Brandon’s 5th and final start for the season. Ending up .500 at least, if not better is a pretty big tally in the victory column for a guy that wasn’t supposed to be available until next year.

The Braves haven’t done much against Brandon. Tex is 2 for 7 with a homer and 3 punchouts. Chris Woodward (never heard of him) is 1 for 6. White-Trash Jones is 2 for 5 with a homer and a ponche. Other than that, Backe has completely blanked the Bravos.

NOTE: Biggio will play 1 inning at catcher this game, according to No mention of if he’ll play in the outfield there.


TBD (0-0, 0.00) v. Felipe Paulino (1-1, 10.38)

Tim Hudson was supposed to start today, but since the Braves pretty much shit the bed on their chances to make it to the post season; it looks like they’ll shut him down for the season finale. Good news for Bidge, since he’s 0 for 7 against Timmah. Allegedly, Chuck James will start instead. Chuck James sounds like the name of some shitty drive time DJ on a classic rock station.

Biggio, much like most of the bands classic rock stations play, has 2 hits off of Chucky J. Unlike most of those bands though, Biggio has only had 5 attempts. His 2 hits were a double and a dinger.

   Felipe Paulino has been slapped around more than Whitney Houston. 15 earned runs in 13 innings. Yuck. Unlike facing Bobby Brown though, Felipe has managed to find a way to win one of his starts. Dude has nasty stuff, but hasn’t’ really figured out how to use it to get big league hitters out.

No Brave has faced Paulino. If I could have one wish in this world, it would be whichever pitcher is in for the Braves last at bat dotting Chipper Jones. That would make me happy.


Notable giveaways this series...

Friday Night: Biggio Rainbow Sleeve Jersey Tee-Shirt Giveaway to the first 20,000 fans. Also Retro Jersey off the back night, since the Good Guys are wearing Rainbow Sleeve Throwbacks. AND Friday Night Fireworks.

Saturday Night: Computer Mouse giveaway from AT&T for the first 10k. Biggio 90’s Jersey T-Shirt giveaway for the first 10k. AND, Saturday Night Fireworks.

Sunday Night: 2007 Astros Team Poster for the first 20k. Biggio “I Was There” Cards for everybody! AND, Craig Biggio Jersey Tee Shirts for the first 20k. What, no Sunday Night Fireworks? Thanks, Uncy Drayton.

Injury Report

Who Gives A Shit? It’s the end of the year. The Void is near. We’re all day-to-day as far as I’m concerned.

Our Interesting Things To Look For

  • One of my favorite Biggio Moments EVER: The Day Bidge Announces His Oncoming Retirement.
  • The Void looms. The only things left to really enjoy are UT’s terrifying surfing of the line between elite football school and Arkansas State, Fantasy Football, Vince Young continually proving ESPN’s idiot brigade wrong on a week by week basis, and laughing at A&M’s idiot head football coach.
  • If the Phillies manage to hang out and take the NL East from the Mets, I will dance a little jig. Seriously. I can’t think of anything shittier than the Goddamn Fucking Mets and the Son of a Bitching Yankees both in the playoffs. Vomit inducing talk of another Subway Series will soon start, and I’ll be forced to go into hiding until baseball season is over. I really don’t give a damn about any of the other playoff teams; but really, please please please keep the NY Media Sluts out of the World Series.
  • It was good to see my High School teammate and friend Matt Belisle pitching so well in his last start against the Astros. Exactly what I want from a Matty B start. Strong pitching, leave before he has a loss pinned on him, and the bullpen chokes it away in the end to the Good Guys. A masterpiece!

Discuss today's game in the GameZone.

And so ends my run at Series Preview writing for the year. I hope y’all enjoyed reading my bullshit as much as I enjoyed hastily throwing it together at the last minute. This has definitely been an interesting experiment for me, and I hope that the Powers That Be will have me back next year to keep writing. I know I’m not strosrays, and my epic writings usually involve more F-bombs than stories about neighbors baring their 34Ds, but I’ve been pretty happy with my work.

For the road: Go crazy folks, go crazy!

And lastly, just remember… No matter how bad the Void seems now, it could always be worse.

Middle of the 4th and losing 2-0?

Bottom of the 4th, This Guy hits one up here. These guys go nuts.

Bottom 7, Loretta singles home Ty Wigginton. New ballgame.

Bottom 8, El Kabong singles home Josh Anderson. 3-2.

Suddenly, Berkman   and Lee take off. Double steal!

Top of the 9th, this face never means good things. This guy chases a Rickie Weeks drive to the right field fence, but bad things happen. Gunter is okay though, and B-Rad somehow escapes further damage.

Bottom 9, Astros get a runner on 3rd with 2 outs, but Burke is stranded.

Top 10, B-Rad remembers how to pitch and blows them away in order.

Bottom 10, Palmerio walks with nobody out. Brandon Backe comes in to pinch run?
Berkman singles, Backe to 2nd.
After a Kabong flyout, Thunderpants singles home the often excitable Brandon Backe to win it for the Good Guys.

Brad Lidge does this in the dugout.

Astros Win!

W: Brad Lidge
L: Matt Wise

HR: Fielder, Weeks, Lee

Look up your own damn links to recaps.

Talk Zone / Brewers Series Preview Is Up...
« on: September 17, 2007, 11:12:17 am »
And here it is.

Talk Zone / Cubs @ Astros Preview Posted
« on: September 11, 2007, 03:57:31 pm »
Its right here.

Minute Maid Park

Tuesday, September 11, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Wednesday, September 12, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Thursday, September 13, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN

Projected Matchups from

Jason Marquis (11-8, 4.13) v. Brandon Backe (0-1, 4.76)

   There are few things that make me smile faster than a guy that sucked balls for the Cardinals last year going to another team and having a great year. Unfortunately, he went to another team I wouldn’t piss on if they were, collectively as a team, on fire. The real moral of the story here is… Fuck the Cubs.
   Some of the Good Guys have knocked Jason around. Lance Berkman (19-34), Ty Wigginton (5-12), Jason Lane (6-18), and Carlos Lee (7-23) all have done pretty well. Bidge (11-43) has done all right against him. Everyone else sucks pretty horribly: Luuuuuke (4-18), Officer Brad (6-29), Berky (5-28), Lamb (3-18), Mark Loretta (2-14), OP (0-2), Munson (0-3), and Sluggo the Pitcher himself (0-2).

   Backe continues his amazing comeback story, already being back in the bigs well ahead of schedule. His first start was pretty solid, and his velocity was higher than most expected it to be. He scuffled some, but thinking that he would be Game 5 of the 2004 NLCS sharp is probably unfair.
   The Cubs haven’t had many looks at Brandon, and only a few guys have had any success against him. Cliff Floyd (2-5), Errormiss (4-11), Jason Kendall (1-3) and Mr. Marquis himself (2-3) are the only success stories. Derrek Lee (2-11), Soriano (2-14), and Heavy D (1-8) haven’t been able to get much going against him.

Rich Hill (8-8, 4.02) v. Troy Patton (0-2, 3.55)

   Rich Hill started the season red hot, but has slowly slipped down to just above average recently. September has been the cruelest month for him, giving up eleven earned runs in just eleven innings in two starts so far. Before the month started, he sported a 3.68 ERA and an 8-7 record. Since, his ERA is up almost half a run and his win/loss has evened out at 8 each, and it should be 8-9, if not for a Chad Qualls meltdown in the 8th, giving up a 2 run dinger to DLee and giving the Cubs a lead. The real moral of the story here is… Fuck the Cubs.
   In very limited numbers, Hunter Pence (1-1), Officer Brad (2-3), El Kabong (2-6), Wigginton (2-6) have all done well against Rich. SuperBrunt (1-6) isn’t awful. The following Astros all have some form of 0fer against him: Bidge, OP, Loretta, AE, Munson, Jason Lane, Burke, and Wandy.

   Rookie Troy gets his 2nd start against the Cubbies. In his previous two, he’s given up 6 total runs in 11.2 innings, and somehow lost both games. He hasn’t looked amazingly sharp, and his breaking ball isn’t as filthy as advertised. However, he’s battled like a champ, and should’ve gotten wins in both of his starts so far.
The Cubbies have only seen Mr. Patton once, and it resulted in… 1 hit for the following: Derrek Lee, Errormiss, and Ryan Theriot. No hits for the rest of the Schlubs. How the fuck did Patton not get a win in this game?! Ahhh, Errormiss hit a two run shibby.

Steve Trachsel (6-10, 4.78) v. Woody Williams (8-14, 4.93)

   Oh boy. The human rain delay. Fuck, this game is going to last at least 6 hours. The moral of the story is… Fuck the Cubs.
   The Astros have had pretty good success against Steve. Mike Lamb (4-8), Ty (2-4), Officer Brad (10-21), OP (4-13), Twinkie (3-10), and Bidge (16-54) have all done well against him. Loretta (8-28), Kabong (1-9), and Eric Munson (0-6) haven’t done much against him.

   Old Man Williams takes the bump for the Good Guys. His ERA is on the south side of 5, and he hasn’t given up 3 or less earnies in 7 of his last 8 starts. There are some folks out there that should probably start ordering their crow however they prefer it, after all the squawking by some about how awful an acquisition Woody turned out being.
   Bad news on the horizon, though. The Cubs have pounded Woody pretty good (Ahhh, that’s some good sexual innuendo). Fontenot (3-6), Jason Goddamn Kendall (18-38), Cliff Floyd (11-31), Derrek Lee (12-35), and Errormiss (14-45) all have knocked Woody around. Surprisingly, Soriano (3-18), Jacque Jones (2-13), Heavy D (3-21), Theriot (1-7), and Mark DeRosa (2-16) have all scuffled pretty badly against him.

Notable giveaways this series ...

Tuesday is 9/11 Heroes Night.
Wednesday is the Biggio Cap Giveaway.
Thursday are Astros Luggage Tags.

Injury Report


   The human oxymoron, Angel Pagan, resides on the 15 day DL for the Cubbies. No idea why, and really don’t care.


Jason Jennings resides on the 60 day DL with a torn up elbow. Also on the 60 day is Hector Giminez, still nursing his torn labia. Steven Randolph resides on the 15 day DL along with Adam Everett.

Our Interesting Things To Look For

  • After the hot reaming the Good Guys took from the Goddamn Fucking Mets, I’m sure just about anyone sounds like a better opponent. Talk about death by good baseball. Woof.
  • It's definitely going to be interesting to see what happens at the end of the season this year. I have my doubts that Coop is going to be able to hold on to the job, but it wouldn’t bother me at all if he did. He is definitely proving right now that the team sucking wasn’t completely Garner and Pupura’s fault, though. This team is pretty awful, no matter which way you slice it.
  • Every time I finish writing a preview, I look at the archive of previews, open one of strosrays previews, and die a little bit more inside.
  • I officially don’t hate Ryan Dempster anymore.
  • I finally found out where Joshua Dicks!went after he left us.
  • The moral of this preview is… Fuck the Cubs.

Discuss today's game in the GameZone.

Talk Zone / Astros at Cubbies Preview Posted.
« on: August 31, 2007, 10:27:17 am »
Taras wants you to read it here.

News Archive 2007 / Eye Witness Report: Pirates at Astros 8/25
« on: August 25, 2007, 10:24:54 pm »
WP: Matt Effin' Morris
LP: Troy Patton
HR: Jose Bautista (2), Josh Phelps

AP Recap from Yahoo

Jim Moloney via

Sitting along the 3rd base line just beyond the dugout, heres what I saw.

Troy Patton looked pretty decent for his ML debut.

Lance Berkman is AWFUL with runners in scoring position.

The Astros couldn't hit their way out of a paper bag with the bases loaded.

Carlos Lee looks hilarious falling ass over teakettle while making a diving catch.

Ty Wigginton pounds the shit out of his glove between pitches... A LOT.

Patton gave up two home runs to Jose Bautista. One was a cheapie in the 4th with a runner on to the front of the Crawfish Boxes. The other was a solo no doubter in the 6th off the facade in left center.

In the bottom of the 6th, the Astros loaded the bases with no outs, but Lance Berkman ensured that nothing big would come of the inning, dribbling Matt Morris's 2-1 offering to 2nd for a rally-killing double play that scored the Good Guys lone run.

Trever Miller surrendered a solo yack to Josh Phelps in the top of the 9th to round out the Pirate scoring attack.

In the bottom of the 9th facing Matt Capps, El Kabong and OP singled to start the inning. Ty Wigginton struck out on a bizarre check-swing foul tip, and Luke Scott put the Raup family and 40,000 of their closest friends out of their misery with a dribbling twin killing from 4 to 6 to 3 to end the game.

Wandy faces Tony Armas tomorrow as the Astros home to fend off the Pirate sweep.

Son of a bitch, I hate Matt Morris.

Talk Zone / Pirates @ Good Guys Series Preview Posted
« on: August 24, 2007, 01:45:55 pm »
Read it here.

Pirates at Astros – Last Ride of The Traveling Horse Shit Show

Minute Maid Park

Friday, August 24, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Saturday, August 25, 6:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Sunday, August 26, 1:05 p.m. CDT – FSN

Projected Matchups from

Ian Snell (8-10, 3.93) v. Matt Albers (3-6, 6.14)

             It’s been a wild ride for Ian Snell this season. On July 4th, he gave up 3 runs in 8 innings, sealing the win and moving his record this year to 7-5. Fast-forward through 5 straight losses and two no decisions, and nailed down his 8th win on August 19th. Snell is pretty reliable. He’ll eat some innings, strike out a handful, walk a few, and generally leave himself in a good position to win upon his exit.
   Current Astros haven’t fared too well against Ian. Orlando Palmeiro (3-3), Luke Scott (2-3), and Mike Lamb (5-10) are about the only real bright spots fro the Good Guys. Fat Elvis (3-12), El Kabong (2-9), Bidge (4-19), and Officer Brad (1-14) pretty much suck against him. The WonderUtil Twins, Burke and Bruntlett, are a combined 0 for 10 with 4 ponches.

   Fat Albers continues to pitch well for short stretches, but wilt late in his starts. There isn’t much else to say about him. He shows great stuff for a while, but control breaks down and breaking balls start to flatten out as the game goes on and he gets deeper in the game. Matt certainly shows promise, if he can just extend his early good stuff through the rest of the game.
   Great news for Fatty: The Nationals as a team don’t have a single hit against him. He pitched in relief, and got E7, Ronnie Belliard, and Ryan Zimmerman without allowing a hit.

Matt Morris (7-8, 4.51) v. Troy Patton (4-2, 4.59 in AAA Round Rock)

   Ahh, Matt Morris. We meet again. I’ve never liked Matt Morris. Mostly because it seemed like the Astros faced him 15 times a season when he was a Co-ard. MattyMo Has had a pretty ugly start to his Pirate career, getting rocked for 14 earned runs in his first 18 1/3 innings. He finally sealed the deal in his last start, getting a Piroot win with 6 2/3 innings of 2 run (only one earned) baseball while scattering 7 hits. Fantastic, just in time to come mow down the Good Guys while I’m in town for my first games of the waning season. Son of a bitch.
   Morris isn’t nearly as individually dominant against the Good Guy lineup as I expected. Hunter Pence (2-2 with a walk) obviously didn’t get the memo that Matt owns the Stros. Carlos Lee (7-11) dominated Matt before joining the team. Woody Williams (5-8)… Well, that’s just plain funny. Ty Wigginton (5-12), Twinkie (20-61 with 2 dingers), and Bradley (17-58) all do decently. Loretta is a decent 6 for 21. Bidge has 17 hits off Matty, but that’s not nearly as awesome when you see the 76 at bats.

   In a not terribly surprising move, the Astros have announced that Saturday will be the Major League debut of Troy Patton. I’ve seen Troy pitch a few times, and I fear for the kid. He hasn’t look terribly sharp in Round Rock. Most of his pitches look flat, but he has gotten the job done after the call up to AAA. Good luck to Troy.
   Obviously, there are no numbers against Troy since he just got called up. I just hope his debut goes better than the first inning debacle Juan Gutierrez threw together the other night.

Tony Armas (2-4, 7.08) v. Wandy Rodriguez (7-12, 4.58)

   Wow, Tony Armas. I’m not going to lie to you. He sucks. Bad. His Road ERA this year is 9.00. 38 runs in 38 innings. With an opponent batting average of .331. So, expect 6 innings of shutout ball from Tough Tony this go round.

   Not many guys have seen Armas pitch much. A few have had success against him: Loretta (4-6), Berkman (7-11) and Wigginton (1-3). It gets pretty ugly after that, with Ausmus (2-11), Lamb (1-6), Burke (1-8), El Kabong (1-12), and Bidge (1-15). Good news for Bidge, with a day game after a night game, he probably won’t have to worry about it. Oh, and don’t forget Luke Scott. Luke has 3 walks in 3 plate appearances against Tony Armas.

   Wandy “Sweet Home Alabama Minute Maid” Rodriguez finally had his home magic broken in his last start against the Nationals. His home ERA still stands at a sparkling 2.28, but the real question is, is his home dominance over after the whomping the Nationals put on him (7 earnies in 5 1/3 innings)? Lets hope not. Against the Pirates this season, Wandy is 0-2 with a 5.25 ERA in 12 innings pitched.
   The Pirates have knocked Wandy around pretty good this year. The guy to really watch out for is Jason Bay (9-16 with 2 HR and 11! RBIs). Matt Kata (2-3), Ronny Paulino (3-6), Adam LaRoche (3-6), Freddy Sanchez (5-13), Chris Duffy (3-8), and Xavier Nady (2-6) all have done pretty well against him. Jack Wilson (4-15), Nate McLouth (2-8), Ryan Doumit (2-9), Jose Castillo (2-11), and Jose Bautista (1-7) have had less success.

Notable giveaways this series...

Friday Night: Retro Gym bags.

Saturday Night: The Berkman Cowboy Bobble head. I recommend bringing your gym bag from last night so you can throw up in it after seeing this thing in person.

Sunday: Jeff Bagwell Jersey Pins

Injury Report


Zach Duke is on the 60 day DL with elbow tendonitis.
Ryan Doumit is on the 15 day DL with a sprained left wrist.


Brandon Backe continues to rehab his surgically repaired pitching arm in Round Rock.
Hector Giminez was last seen wearing a shaggy wig, driving a stolen police car, and screaming “You boys like Mex-e-co?!”.
Jason Jennings finally admitted his elbow was shredded wheat, and went on the DL with a torn flexor tendon. He’s done for the year.
AE is taking ground balls and getting ready, but isn’t ready to be activated yet.
Roy Oswalt is missing a start, but isn’t on the DL.

Our Interesting Things To Look For

  • There is really only one major thing to write about here. The retirement of Jeff Bagwell’s number 5. It will be hoisted to the ceiling, never to be worn again until Bags becomes some form of coach for the Astros. Not gonna be a dry eye in the house, myself included. For the last and final time: So long Baggy. You were probably the best all around baseball player I’ve had the privilege of watching in my lifetime.
  • Listen carefully on the field mike during the Saturday and Sunday games. If things go badly you’ll probably be able to hear me screaming obscenities. And if someone steps on my old man’s foot/knocks his popcorn out of his hand/gives him the googly eye/generally pisses him off in any way, you’ll probably be able to catch a Fuck Off or two,
  • Dropping those first 6 games to the Pirates really was a warning of the way this season was going to end up. Probably should’ve paid more attention to the warning signs
  • God Almighty, this team is awful. Every time I start to feel a little surge of hope that things might turn for the better, the Good Guys take a big ol steaming dump on the field. Dropping 3 out of 4 to the Nationals. Why don’t you just kick me in junk a few times and we’ll call it even. UT football can’t get here fast enough.

Discuss today's game in the GameZone.

News Archive 2007 / Worst... Win... Ever.
« on: August 19, 2007, 11:51:06 am »
W - Dave Borkowski (3-3)    L - Germano (6-7)    S - Brad Lidge (11)



Oswalt was cruising, the Good Guys were leading, and everything was going great. Until the 3rd. El Kabong strained his leg breaking up a double play. Then The Wizard came up gimpy in the 5th after trying to pitch through some discomfort he felt earlier in the game. 2 runs and Os leaving the game later, things weren't looking quite so great. Borkowski came in and leached the win, pitching the last out of the 5th and a scoreless 6th. Trever Miller pitched the 7th, Qualls pitched the 8th, and Brad Lidge pitched a perfect 9th with two Ks to secure the save. The bullpen came up big, going 4 1/3 innings without giving up a hit after the Oswalt injury.

Nobody is sure how long either guy is gone for, but Garner has said neither guy is going on the DL "as of right now'. Oswalt was not nearly as chipper, which I'm sure is partly because his ribcage hurts like a mofo, and partly because in Mississippi, smiling is considered a sign of weakness.

Closer Brad Lidge was kind enough not to drop 15 F-bombs while being interviewed...
"We were looking at each other in the bullpen, like, 'What's going on here?' " Lidge said. "Two huge players on the team, Roy and Carlos, going down. That's not what you want to see. Hopefully, it's nothing serious and they won't miss a lot of time. Over the course of a season, guys are going to have things that keep them out of a couple games, and that's no problem. But we just hope it's nothing more than that, nothing more than a couple games."

Talk Zone / Special Guest Series Preview Astros at Padres
« on: August 17, 2007, 02:01:59 pm »
Read it here!

Series Previews 2007 / MusicMan Special Guest Prevew! Astros @ Padres
« on: August 17, 2007, 02:00:28 pm »
Astros (54-67) at Padres (65-55)

Friday, August 17,  9:05 PM, FSN
Saturday, August 18, 9:05 PM, KNWS (“the blowtorch”)
Sunday, August 19, 3:05 PM, FSN

First things first: Yes, this is a rushed, pinch-hit job, and yes, I will work in as many “Anchorman” references as the law will allow.

San Diego.  It does not translate as “Saint Diego”.  It is from the German “Sahn Diagho”, meaning “Michael Barrett’s Vagina”.

Ever since the great trade of ’94, it’s been hard to work up too much hatred for the Padres.  With so many players switching sides, there became some sort of odd bond between the two franchises.  The Plumber (whose name should be banned just as equally as a certain shortstop from the Deep South) did his best to break these bonds, but to this day, the Padres keep a soft spot in my heart.  Mister Peepers becomes the latest in a long line of such transplants, and I wish him well.

Probable pitching matchups:

Woody Williams (6-12, 5.09) vs. Jake Peavy (13-5, 2.23)

Woody was 4-2 with a 2.93 ERA at PETCO last year.  Unfortunately, he’s not pitching for the Padres any more – current friars are batting .306/.396/.563 against him.  For those of you who are less statistically inclined, this is akin to facing a lineup of 8 Vladamir Guerreros.

On the other side, Peavy has absolutely dominated the Good Guys.  Dominated like .202/.273/.275 over 178 AB.  Dominated, as in Carlos is the only Astro with an OPS over .667 against the man.

Prediction: Astros forget how to say “Fluggagnkdechkebolsen”.  Padres say “Whammy!”

Roy Oswalt (13-6, 3.32) vs. Justin Germano (6-6, 4.16)

Oswalt has said that his mechanics have improved since his chest strain in Pittsburgh – this just might be true, as he hasn’t lost since then.  (If you ask me, he’s moved away from “pitching to contact” and towards “strike this motherfucker out!”)  And facing the Padres agrees with him – current San Diego-ins?  San Diego-uns?  (“San Diegans”) are hitting .237/.297/.342 against him, with the major damage, surprisingly, coming from Sandy Vagina Barrett himself, who has gone 12 for 32 with 2 doubles and a homer.  Fortunately (or unfortunately, if you were hoping for another season-igniting beanball war), Barrett is on the DL.  That sucks – I was hoping that Wigginton would punch Barrett right in the ovaries.

Only Jennings and OBTYN have ever faced Germano, each going 1-2.  Germano started off an impressive 5-0 with a 2.36, but has dropped 6 of his last seven decisions, with July showing a brutal 1-5, 7.24 line.

Prediction:  Saturday, we spell redemption R-O-Y.

Matt Albers (3-5, 5.99) vs. Greg Maddux (8-9, 4.00)

Let’s hope we keep hearing “Ground ball to Burke.  Ground ball to Burke.”  Let’s also hope that Burke is not doing anymore modern dance moves trying to field those grounders.  Albers has faced the Padres for a total of 20 AB, giving up a 6 for 20 line with 2 walks and 5 strikeouts.

Greg Maddux – you might have heard of him.  He’s trapped in a glass case of emotion.  He’s also held current Astros to a .282/.321/.401 line.  At least Berkman has managed .313/.353/.531 against him.  But just to give you an idea… Biggio has 6 doubles in 130 AB against the man.  Greg Maddux, deep down in my stomach, with every inch of me, I pure straight hate you.  But damn it, do I respect you.

Prediction: The defense lets Fat Albers down in this one.

Giveaways:  The game’s in San Diego.  Who gives a shit?

San Diego: (
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater reports that Michael Barrett is showing signs of a vinegar-like substance in his bloodstream.  Scott Hairston has a strained oblique.  

Houston: (
Stephen Randolph is on the DL with a healthy dislike for the losers who call themselves Dodger fans.  Sampson is on the DL as a result of a bad haircut.  PENCE!!! is plotting his assault on the NL, just as soon as he can catch a flight to a spot where they play minor league ball without an ark.  Everett is hitting off a tee, but I’d much rather hear about his fielding drills.  Backe is still on track to be activated September 1.  Gimenez is still on the 60-day DL and was last seen with a JR Towles voodoo doll.  Jennings and Berkman are not listed as injured, but who’s fooling whom here?  

Series prediction: San Diego wins two out of three.

Go fuck yourselves, San Diego.  Thanks for stopping by.

Talk Zone / Astros at Dodgers Preview Posted
« on: August 13, 2007, 11:31:21 am »
Read about it here.

Talk Zone / Cubs @ Astros Series Preview Posted...
« on: August 06, 2007, 06:26:33 pm »

Minute Maid Park

Monday, August 6, 6:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Tuesday, August  7, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Wednesday, August 8, 7:05 p.m. CDT – KNWS

This is going to be down and dirty, due to the amount of work piling up while I write this preview.

Projected Matchups from

Rich Hill (6-6, 3.67) v Wandy Rodriguez (7-10, 4.72)

Rich Hill scuffled in his last start, giving up four runs in four and two thirds innings, but overall he is having a pretty damn good year. The Astros have faced him a grand total of seven total at bats, with only one hit. That one hit belongs to Officer Brad.

   Wandy continues his routine of getting shelled on the road and dominating in Houston. He sports a 1.76 ERA at Minute Maid, and a six and two record. Derek Lee (6-9 with 2 bombs) and Matt Murton (4-11 with 2 bombs as well) have both hit him well. The rest of the Steve Bartman Fan Club is pretty dismal against him.

Sean Marshall (5-5, 3.86) v. Woody Williams (5-12, 5.37)

   I’ve never heard of Sean Marshall. Dude is having a pretty good year, though. Before his last start against the Phillies, his ERA was 3.10. After getting rocked for seven runs in two and two thirds innings, it had jumped to a slightly more robust 3.86. In very limited at bats, Burke (5-7), Bidge (3-9), and Lane (2-5 with 4 walks) have all had success against him.

   Woody is still Woody. An enigma wrapped in bacon and served with a side of home run, right down the middle at least once a game. After his sparkling start against the Pirates two weeks ago, Woody has given up twelve earned runs in his last twelve innings (the last of which a one inning relief appearance out of the bullpen Sunday afternoon). And now the bad news… Jason Kendall (18-35), Cliff Floyd (10-27), Derrek Lee (10-31), and AmRam (13-43) have all done pretty well against Woody in his career. If you’re sitting anywhere in MMP that counts as a home run for this one, I’d bring your glove. Also, if you happen to work within the block of Crawford, Franklin, Main and Texas Ave, you might consider wearing a hardhat if you’re going to still be at work around game time.

Carlos Zambrano  (14-7, 3.42) v. Roy Oswalt (11-6, 3.55)

   Ahhhh, the Marquee match of the series. No, not the Marquis match, that involves a lot more BFiB angst.

   Big Z, as every asshole at ESPN calls him, started off in terrible fashion. He was getting shelled, frustrated with management, and generally sucking. The only upside to the whole thing was the fisticuffs between Carlos and Michael Barrett, widely known as the weepiest pussy in baseball. Unfortunately for everyone else, the Cubs managed not to fuck up this altercation, and sent Barrett packing instead of Zambrano. Luuuuuke (4-9), El Kabong (13-38 with 4 horsey rides), and Bidge (11-43) all hit Carlos pretty well.

   Even in an off year, RoyO is dominating. His last start involved him dominating the Fish for six innings, when a 30 minute rain delay forced him to make a slightly early exit. Six innings of for hit, one run baseball with five punchouts. Tell me THAT isn’t old school Roy… Derosa (7-14), Jason FUCKING Kendall (15-36), Floyd (8-21) and somewhat Ronny Cedeno (3-8) all have had good success against Roy.

Notable giveaways this series ...

Not much exciting being given away this week, except for Hunter Pence Wrist Braces Jersey Tee Shirts!

Injury Report

Baby Bears – Roberto Novoa and Angel Guzman both reside on the 60 day DL for the Cubbie. Why? I have no idea, and really don’t give a shit. The 15 day DL has some more noteworthy names: Daryle “Heavy D” Ward, runner up for Biggest Ass in All of Baseball 2007, is sidelined with a bruised right calf. Alfonso Soriano is also on the 15 day DL with a right quad strain.

Astros – The usual suspects continue to inhabit the Astros DL. Backe and Giminez both are on the 60 day DL. Backe is battling his way back through minor league rehab starts as we speak. Pence is still on the 15 day DL with a broken bone in his wrist. And the newest star on the 15 day DL walk of fame: Chris Sampson, who landed there after he sprained his right UCL.

Our Interesting Things To Look For

  • Michael Barrett being traded sure does take a lot of the shine out of Cubs vs. Astros series that Roy pitches in. I was really looking forward to Barrett getting drilled and starting to throw a tantrum, then looking at Carlos Zambrano, seeing Carlos shake his head, and Barrett meekly sulking his way to first base.
  • Kerry Wood was just activated from the 60 day DL. Place your bets now on how long it takes him to land back on it.

  • Also a shame that Daryle Ward is on the DL for this one, and that Jennings wouldn’t face him if he wasn’t. That would be a match up of some of the biggest cabooses in baseball history.
  • Thank God I don’ t have to write a preview of a Saturday game. I’m pretty sure the Astros haven’t won a single game on the day I’m writing recaps for

Discuss today's game in the GameZone.

Talk Zone / Thank God Ausmus was in the game today...
« on: August 05, 2007, 03:07:59 pm »
Bottom 6th: Florida
- H. Ramirez walked
- W. Williams relieved S. Randolph
- D. Uggla flied out to right center
- H. Ramirez stole second, H. Ramirez to third on B. Ausmus' throwing error
- C. Ross hit sacrifice fly to left center, H. Ramirez scored

- M. Jacobs flied out to left

W - Gardner     L - Randolph

HR - Handjob Ramirez, Miggy, JLane, Uggla

[/url=] report by Tom Keller[/url] since Footer was busy looking hot doing the post game recap on TV in zebra-stripes.

AP Recap via Yahoo

The Astros once again proved that, if you watch long enough, you'll see something you've never seen before.

First, El Kabong went on a wild trip around the bases after smacking a double off the wall in left field. The throw in to second was wide of the base, so Carlos took off for third. First baseman Mike Jacobs fielded the errant throw and foolishly attempted to gun Lee down as he rumbled toward third. Jacobs' throw sailed wide though, and Lee lumbered home before collapsing onto the bench for a much needed oxygen break. Lance Berkman was seen administering his cure-all snack mix, a mixture of Ranch Flavored Sunflower Seeds and Cherry Flavored Gatorade.

Jennings was shaky again, but managed to keep his composure long enough to last six and a third. His last action was a game-tying home run to Miggy Cabrera.

From there, the game stayed tied at five until the bottom of the 12th.  With Steven Randolph on the mound and being effectively wild, he recored the first two outs of the inning. An intentional walk to Super-Badass Miggy Cabrera and a wild pitch later, the tying run was standing on second base with Jacobs at the plate.
Cue the Benny Hill music up. Randolph bounced another curveball at about 55 feet, it deflected off of Munson's hip, and rolled toward the Marlin dugout. Munson scrambled after it, but couldn't get to the ball before it bounced off of a batting donut and trickled into the dugout. Home plate umpire ruled it a dead ball, and awarded Cabrera home plate. Everyone at the ballpark except the Marlins dugout had pretty much the same reaction, a stadium-wide "What the hell was that?".

6-5 final.

Read pretty much exactly what you'd expect from the TZers over in the Game Zone.

News Archive 2007 / Oswalt and Kabong Peckerslap the Padres
« on: July 29, 2007, 12:00:24 pm »
Astros 3   Padres 1

WP - Roy Oswalt (10-6)
LP - Greg Maddux (7-8)
S - Brad Lidge (6)

HR - El Kabong (22) Recap of the game, Written by Jim Carley

AP Recap

Game Zone featuring some play description, but more bitching about the HORRIBLE announcing duo Fox decided to send to Houston. I'm pretty sure both of those guys make extra money on the side fluffing Greg Maddux.

        After the first inning ended, this game looked like it was going to go to the team that was feeling more hitterish. Oswalt, behind a few hits, a tough hop Bruntlett error, and a hit by pitch, allowed one run to score and had the bases loaded with 2 outs. He ponched Geoff Blum to end the inning.
        Maddus was up in the zone and throwing about 35 mph in the first inning. After a Bidge fly out to right for the first out, Bruntlett worked a walk and promptly stole second. Berkman smashed a single between first and second, then El Kabong demolished a ball to straight away left that would've reached orbit had the roof been open. Maddux managed to escape further damage and get out of the inning, but a two run lead was all Roy needed.
       Oswalt was masterful through seven, striking out ten while only walking one.
       Qualls threw a one-two-three eighth.   
       Lidge worked the ninth, giving up a hit but never losing his cool on the way to his sixth save in a row.

The Astros attempt to take three of four from the Padres today at 1:05pm. Jason Jennings vs. Tim Stauffer.

Talk Zone / Padres @ Astros Preview posted (by Taras)
« on: July 26, 2007, 12:02:47 pm »
He can't figure out how to shortcut to it, so read it here!


Astros 3 Pirates 7

WP: Maholm (6-12)   LP: Rodriguez (6-9)

HR: Lamb (10)     Sanchez (5) Jeremy Anders Game Story here

AP Recap here

Footer says Oswalt may skip a start

   Wandy started this game looking like he was going to take over the world. Through three innings, Wandy had struck out four and hadn’t given up anything close to a hit. Meanwhile, the Astros left two runners on in the first and had a runner erased by a double play in the second. At this point it looked like it would only be a matter of time before the Good Guys broke through.
   The wheels promptly fell off in the bottom of the fourth. With nobody out, Wandy gave up three consecutive singles, a more than somewhat questionable hit by pitch call, then a Jason Bay sacrifice fly. Doumit hammered a pitch with two on and one out, but hit it right at PENCE!!! Paulino flew out to end the threat, but it was 2-0 Pirates.
   In the top of the fifth, Bruntlett singled and Ausmus walked with nobody out. Wandy bunted them over, but a Burke soft liner to second and a Pence fly out to right to end the threat.
   The bottom of the fifth brought more trouble for Wandy, as Kata hit a ground rule double past Burke to drive in a run, LaRoche singled to right two hitters later to drive in two more, and Bay hit another sacrifice fly to make it 6-0.
   Lamb homered to lead off the seventh, and Pence doubled in Bruntlett to make it 6-2, but Solomon Torres got Loretta to ground out to end the inning with runners on second and third.
   Albers gave up a bomb homer to Sanchez in the bottom of the seventh, but managed to avoid further damage with a Xavier Nady double play ball.
   In the top of the eighth, Ensberg singled, Lamb singled, and Bruntlett singled to drive in Ensberg, but Ausmus struck out swinging and Berkman (pinch hitting for Albers) struck out swinging as well to end the inning.
   The Polish Pellet pitched his way around a Doumit double to record a scoreless eighth.
   In the ninth, Shawn Chacon came in to face the top of the Astros order. Burke punched out swinging, Pence rolled out to second, Loretta walked and took second on fielder’s indifference before Lee ended the game chasing some high cheddar.

   Rubber game tomorrow at 12:35: Woody Williams vs. Shane Youman 

Talk Zone / Astros @ Pirates Preview Posted.
« on: July 19, 2007, 06:22:21 pm »
Lucky for you, it doesn't suck quite as bad as the Astros. Read it here

Pee And See Park

Friday, July 20, 6:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Saturday, July 21, 6:15 p.m. CDT – FSN
Sunday, July 22, 12:35 p.m. CDT – FSN

Projected Matchups from

Roy Oswalt (8-6, 3.90) v. Tom Gorzelanny (9-4, 3.24)

Most of the time, you’d see this match up and get excited, since this would be an almost automatic Astros win. Not this year, though. Oswalt looked downright miserable in his last start, giving up 8 earned runs in 5 and a third. Oswalt innings come more and more frequently as the season progresses this year.
 This is definitely not the Roy of old. Pitching-to-contact Roy is becoming slightly annoying. Apparently, pitching to contact now means that you give up a lot of 2 out hits with runners in scoring position, and give up a lot of 0-2 base hits to otherwise shitty hitters. The last few times I’ve been to Dell Diamond, I’ve been looking around for strikes-out-15-and-takes-no-fucking-prisoners Roy. So far, I haven’t found him, but I’m not giving up hope. I saw doesn’t-pull-off-of-every-pitch-ever Jason Lane there the other day, so anything is possible.
   A few Pirates have some serious success against Roy: Nate McLouth (5-10), Jack Wilson (21-57), and Freddy Sanchez (6-18).
   The rest of the Roots suck against him: Ronny Paulino (1-5), Adam LaRoche (2-10), Doumit (1-5), Jose Castillo (1-14), and suckiest of all, Xavier Nady (1-17).

   Gorzelanny dominated the months of  April and May, sporting a 2.39 ERA and earning 6 of his 9 wins. June and July haven’t been so kind, with Tom giving up 19 earned runs in 6 starts in June, and 7 already in July through 13 innings. The hot start has kept his ERA from blowing up, but his June ERA was 4.24 and his July ERA is sitting at 4.85 after 2 starts.
   The Astros have limited appearances against Gorzelanny. The guys that have had success against him: Officer Brad (4-6), Carlos Lee (2-4), Chris Burke (2-6).
            Everyone else either sucks or hasn’t seen him but a few times: Bidge (2-9), Twinkie (2-9), MoBerg (2-10), and Luuuuuuke (1-5).

Wandy Rodriguez (6-8, 4.33) v Paul Maholm (5-12,4.68)

   Wandy keeps on keeping on. His ERA, minus the complete game shutout against the Goddamn Mets, sits around 4.50, which is about what you expect from him. The good news is, Wandy usually bounces back strong after a bad outing (7 Earnies in 3 and a third against the Cubs). The bad news, Wandy is downright awful on the road (1-6, 7.45 ERA). So, put on your crash helmet and hope for the best.
   Wandy has had some pretty good success against the Pirates batters, with a few notable exceptions: Jason Bay (9-15), and Freddy Sanchez (4-11).
   The rest of the Bucs haven’t done so well in limited chances: Ryan Doumit (2-6), Nate McLouth (2-8), Nancy Wilson (3-13) and Jose Castillo (2-11).

   Paul Maholm, who’s name I’m pretty sure means “thank you” in Hawaiian, has had a pretty rocky year so far. His best game by far this year happened against the Good Guys, throwing a complete game three hitter in April. Unsurprisingly, he hasn’t gone the distance against anyone else this year, and obviously hasn’t even come close to throwing another shutout. The closest he came was 7 innings of one run baseball against the then helpless Chisox in mid-June.
   The Good Guys have had a lot success against Paul: Luuuuuuke (2-2), My Clam (2-3), Bidge (5-11), Munson and MoBerg (2-6), Burke (5-16).
   The Astro sluggers, on the other hand, have scuffled: El Kabong (2-12), Fat Elvis (1-10).

Woody Williams (4-11, 5.37) v. John Van Benschoten (0-4, 8.17)

   Woody is about a dinger per game away from being around 8-7 with a 4-something ERA. His most recent home run allowed was to Oft-Mistaken-for-Bigfoot Nationals first sacker, Dmitri Young, putting the Nationals ahead 4-2 after the Good Guys scraped together a 2-1 lead. The Nationals would go on to win the game, 4-3. If Woody would just keep the damn ball down, he’d be serviceable at least. Instead, he keeps making mistakes up in the zone… And believe it or not, 84 mph fastballs at the letters tend to leave the ballpark more often than not.
   Except for a few people, the Pirates haven’t seen much of Woody. The only guys with any serious numbers against him are Adam LaRoche, who is 2 of 13, and Jack Wilson, who is 4 of 28. Ronnie Paulino is 3 of 6 and Jason Bay is 4 of 9. That’s about it.

   John VB is, to put it nicely, having a terrible year. He has made it through 6 innings once, giving up 3 runs on 3 hits. In his other 5 outings, he has thrown 5 and two thirds or less, including two stinkers in his last two starts where he couldn’t get through 3 innings. His July ERA is a mildly worrisome 14.34 from 3 starts, but I’m sure John is licking his chops at the thought of facing the Astro lineup.
   Not a whole lot of exposure for the Good Guys. We all know what that means. The few at bats the Astros have against him go this way: Mike Lamb (2-5), Bidge (2-5), Twinkie (2-4), Officer Brad (1-4).

Notable giveaways this series ...

Saturday they’re giving this away. What is it? I’m not sure. I think its Rollie Fingers in a pirate outfit.

Sunday, they’re giving kids these horrifying things. Its also Polish day at the ballpark, so bring your best Pollack joke to the ballpark.

I think, after seeing these two give-aways, I’ve solved the mystery of why the Pirates are one of the lowest attendance teams in the league.

Injury Report


Lidge is back! Lidge is back! Now, to get the rest of these schmoes back on track.
AE is still down with a broken leg after being hit by a dump truck in shallow left field.
Giminez is still down with a torn labia, after Jenna Jameson surgery gone horribly wrong.
Backe, allegedly, could start his rehab assignment within the next few weeks, but that might’ve just been Richard Justice’s topic of the day at during Polly Prissy Pants’ Tea Party. also reporting that Lance Berkman was almost roughed up by a bad-hopping grounder during BP on Wednesday. Nice quote, you lazy tub of goo.


Chris “Feets Don’t Fail Me Now” Duffy is on the 15 Day DL.
So is Zach Duke, with tendonitis in his left elbow.
Jose Bautista is also on the 15 day DL after getting spiked on his left hand and requiring stitches.

Our Interesting Things To Look For

  • .Thank the Baseball Gods that a.) The Astros beat Tim Redding and b.) Redding doesn’t have that giant Rick White-esque Chia Goatee anymore. Redding looked like Scott Elarton Lite out there, sporting an outlaw beard/5 o'clock shadow.
  • The Pirates actually made a trade with the Cubs that didn’t involve the Pirates filing a police report about. Cesar Izturis came to the Bucs for a PTBNL. Well, I guess that it still could be a pillaging. They could give the Cubs Freddy Sanchez. The same link talks about the Pirates trading away Nancy Wilson as well. What a bummer, when Nancy was left alone after her sister abandoned her, I really was overcome with sadness. Or maybe it was heartburn.
  • The Mr. Potato Heads they’re giving away on Sunday are sponsored by Mrs. T’s Pierogies. I have this horrible image of Mr. T in a dress a la Mrs. Doubtfire. “I pity the foo’ that doesn’t eat my Pierogies!"
  • The forces of Suck colliding, with the Astros and Pirates duking it out for the rights to get passed by Cincinnati first.  The Astros are 40-45, the Pirates are 40-44 and the Reds (40-45 too) weren’t invited. Maybe we’ll  see the first ever series that both teams manage to get swept at the same time. Somehow, the front-running Brewers will show up and kick everyone’s ass for 3 days.

Discuss today's game in the GameZone.

Discuss bush neck pole smoke laws concerning your front license plate and watch Astrocreep jet up the Steps On Being a Troll  here.

And, most importantly, check out Kevin’s destruction in POTW contest this week (and ponder what kind of inflatable a man buys from a lesbian) here.

News Archive 2007 / Well, that was kind of a let down.
« on: July 01, 2007, 02:55:32 am »
Rockies @ Astros, 6-30

Final Score: Rockies 5   Astros 0
W: Jeff Francis (8-5)  L: Jason Jennings (1-3)
Homers: None.
Dubose in place of Footer

Well, the late inning magic never manifested itself tonight. The Rockies scored 2 in the 4th and 1 in the fifth off Jennings, then another 2 spot off of Albers in the 8th to take the game 5 to 0 and snap their 8 game losing streak..

The Good Guys had their chances, leaving 8 runners stranded, but never could push a runner across.

Tune in for the early game tomorrow (1:05 start on FSN), as the Astros try and win their first series since 1907.

Gamezone was pretty barren tonight, but read it here, if you dare.

Talk Zone / Rockies at Astros Series Preview Posted...
« on: June 28, 2007, 04:50:05 pm »
Breaking Astros news included toward the bottom of the preview.

Read it here.

Rockies at Astros – Even a Rukkake Joke Won’t Save THIS Preview

Minute Maid Park

Thursday, June 28, 7:05. CDT - FSN
Friday, June 29,, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Saturday, June 30, 6:05 p.m. CDT – KNWS
Sunday, July 1, 1:05 p.m. CDT – FSN

Projected Matchups from

Aaron Cook (4-5, 4.93) v. Roy Oswalt (7-5, 3.55)

For Colorado…
The good news: Cook is 0-3 with a 6.75 ERA in his last 3 starts.
The bad news: Cook is 3-0 (6 starts) in his career against the Astros, with a 4.60 ERA.

Success stories: Mike Lamb is 3 for 4 with 2 doubles, Lance Berkman is 6 for 11, Mark Loretta is 11 for 23.

Jason Lane Impersonators: Moberg is 1 of 6, Ausmus is 1 of 14, El Kabong is 0 for 5, and Luuuuke is 0 for 3.

For Houston…
The good news: Roy Fucking Oswalt is on the mound.
The bad news: Roy hasn’t been himself this season. His night ended against the Rangers after he walked the bases loaded in the 6th, ultimately leading to his being the loser in that game.

Guys lucky enough to have some success against Roy: Ianneta and Tulowitzki are 2 for 3, Tavares is 2 for 4, Holliday is 3 of 7.

Twiddledicks in purple: Kaz Matsui is 3 of 11, Helton is 5 of 19, Hawpe is 3 of 12, Sullivan is 2 of 7. 

Josh Fogg (3-6, 4.81) v. Chris Sampson (6-5, 3.71)

For the Rocks…
The good news: Josh Fogg sucks.
The bad news : The Astros bullpen sucks more.

Success stories: Lance is 11 of 28 with 5 dingers, Lamb is 9 of 22, OP is 3 of 8, Ausmus is 8 of 24, Moberg is 5 of 15, Luuuuuke and PENCE!!! Are 2 of 3,and Loretta is 4 of 12.

Guys Pupura should trade before this game: Biggio is 8 of 33, Carlos Lee is 2 of 8, Burke is 2 of 7, and SuperBrunt is 0 for 1.

For the ‘Stros:
The good news: If not for Thunderpants, Chris Sampson would be the biggest young talent on the field for the Astros.
The bad news: The paperwork for the restraining order on Alkie finally was processed.
This Space For Rent
Sampson has never faced the Rockies before.

Jeff Francis (7-5, 3.80) v. Jason Jennings (1-2, 3.66)

For the Purple Vest Wearers…
The good news: I have no idea who Jeff Francis is.
The bad news: The Astros don’t look like they know who he is, either.

Pence Style: Carlos Lee (3-5), Moberg (1-2), Lance (1-3), and Steven “Gas Can” Randolph (2-2 with a double and 2 RBIs).

Burke Style: Bidge is only 1 of 4 against Jeff. Chris Burke has never gotten a hit against him… because he’s never faced Francis.

For the Blood N’ Mud Rockers:
The good news: Jason Jennings had a good outing his last time out, giving up 3 run on 5 hits over 7 innings.
The bad news: Alkie still hates him.

Former Teammates that have done well against Jason: Jamey Carroll is 2 for 5. That’s about it.

Guys Jennings will continue to induce double play balls off of: WillyT is only 4 for 15 and Yorvit Torrealba is 3 for 15.

Rodrigo Lopez (4.10, 4.09) v. Wandy Rodriguez (4-7, 4.57)

For the Rukkakes…
The Good News: Dude has a 5.60 ERA in 3 starts on the road, and hasn’t won a road game. He also absolutely imploded at Wrigley earlier in the week, giving up 8 runs on 9 hits in 4 2/3 innings.
The Bad News: Rodrigo is from Tlalnepantla Mexico. I think the guy who named  that town had the “L” key on their typewriter bound to a few other keys.

Feast: Loretta (8-17), OP (4-9).
Famine: El Kabong (1-11), Berkman (0-4), Lamb (0-3).

For the DisAstros…
The Good News: Its 2007. 2006 Wandy only comes out occasionally instead of every start. Wandy threw 5 great and 1 horrible inning in his last start, eventually taking the loss after walking 2 and giving up a bloop single in the 6th inning against the Rangers before exiting, stage left even.
The Bad News: Wandy only lasts 5 or 6 innings, so there will be a lot of bullpen to tolerate…
Notable giveaways this series ...

Money Shots: Helton (5-10), Atkins (4-10), Kaz Matsui (1-3), WillyT (1-3), and Holliday (2-6).
Viagra on Back Order: Hawpe (2-10), Torrealba (0-1), Carroll (0-2), Tulowitzki (0-2).

Injury Report


Zack McClellan is on the 15 day DL with right shoulder inflammation. I have no idea who this guy is, so he must be a vital piece of the Rockie machine.


The only guy that doesn’t have a permanent ass-groove on the DL couch is Brad Lidge, who is recovering from an oblique strain. He hopefully will be back within the month.

Backe is still chomping at the bit to get back.

Giminez is still there too, eating Cheetos and watching Oprah on Drayton’s dime.

Our Interesting Things To Look For

  • I think the season is getting a bit too long in the tooth to hope for the Astros to explode out of this funk. Every time some problem starts to fix itself, something else goes bad. Hitting starts coming around, and the bullpen just slips in the tub and goes head first into the goddamn toilet.
  • If we’re lucky, the March for 3000 ends within the next few games. Bidge himself is even ready to just get it over with and get back to playing ball. And God willing, he’ll just help the team.
  • Berkman continues to show small flashes of brilliance at the plate, but also continues to roll over on balls at an alarming rate. Whatever snack regimen he is on right now, I think adding some Fun Dip to it might just be the right combo to break completely out of this funk he has been in.
  • I think Yorvit Torrealba has the coolest non-hockey player name I’ve ever seen. He’d definitely make my All Awesome Name Team.

  • LATE ADDITION! Did everyone know about this except for me?![/url]

    • Rick White was released, Mark McLemore called up, Steven Randolph DFA, and Albers recalled as of Thursday afternoon according to  I suppose this is the start of the changes TimmyP promised.

    Discuss today's game in the GameZone, but so help me God, if you start bitching about Woody Williams at any point, I’ll hunt you down and kill you with a melon baller!

Astros at Brewers 6/26
Final Score: Astros 5 Brewcrew 11
W: Matt “Change of Pace” Wise     L:Wandy “The Roy Rodriguez Inning?” Rodriguez
Homers: Lee (14), Scott 2 (9), Ausmus (2), Estrada (7), Braun (6), Graffanino (6).
Trudge to 3000: 2997 (1-4)

Not a whole lot to discuss here, honestly.

Wandy gave up 2 on a Brauny-Man homer. The Astros answered with two solo shots from Luuuuuuke and Officer Brad.
Wandy pitched well through 5, holding off the Brewers while tiptoeing down the dangerous “I’ll put a runner on base every inning just to make it interesting” line.
Carlos Lee hit a MONSTER homer to left center with a runner on to make it 4-2 in the top of the 6th, and Wandy promptly decided to prove that one shitty inning that ruins a good start isn’t just for Roy Oswalt anymore in the bottom of the frame.
   It looked something like this:
Hall walked.
Estrada walked.
Mench blooped an 0-2 pitch into left.
Weeks singled to right, and Luke Scott mistook the ball for a charging rhino. Scott gator-armed the ball and promptly fell and went in to the fetal position. 3 runs score, Ricky is on 3rd with a single and an error.
Wandy hits the showers, Rick White is promptly chosen by Garner to sacrifice to the baseball gods.
Ton Graffanino pinch hits for Matt Wise, and demolishes a ball to left for a 2 run shibby.
Corey Hart strikes out. (There is now ONE out in the inning)
Hardy walked.
Braun doubled to right, Hardy held at 3rd.
Intentional walk to Planet Fielder.
Bill Hall K’s looking for the 2nd out.
Estrada, batting for the 2nd time in the inning, KAPOWS a ball to deep right center for a massive Grand Slam.
Mench grounds out to  pitcher to end the slaughter.

That is pretty much all you need to know.

Day Game today, starting shortly after this is posted. Slop Jar Full of Nuts vs. Beermakers.

Talk Zone / Angels Preview posted...
« on: June 18, 2007, 04:51:06 pm »
Since Taras Bulba and Tha Intarnets don't get along so well, I'll link it for him.

Talk Zone / A's Series Preview Posted...
« on: June 12, 2007, 01:38:57 pm »
Read it here.

A’s at Astros – The Greatest Rivalry in Baseball Continues!
(Fuck the American League)

Minute Maid Park

Tuesday, June 12, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Wednesday, June 13, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Thursday, June 14, 1:05 p.m. CDT – KNWS

Projected Matchups from

Joe Kennedy (2-4, 3.23) v. Roy Oswalt (6-4, 3.38)

   I’ll start this preview by telling you, quite honestly, I don’t know a damn thing about the Oakland A’s. That being said, I’ve at least heard of most of their players. The starting pitching they’re running out this series though, not so much. Who the hell are these guys? Wasn’t Joe Kennedy a senator with a drinking problem? Anyway, despite a sparking ERA, Kennedy hasn’t had much success in the win column. In all but one of his losses, Joe has only given up one run. In that one loss, he got nuked for 7 earnies in 4 and 2/3 innings. The ERA may be a little deceiving, really. His walk to K ratio is pretty sucky (29/28), and he gives up 1.5 ground balls per fly or so. Joe is definitely serviceable as a starter, but Kennedy spent last year in the bullpen, and started 2007 there as well. After one bad pen outing, they jumped Joe into the starting rotation, and he’s been a fixture there since.
   The Good Guys haven’t seen much of Joe, but in limited viewing, Craig Biggio leads the team at a 4 for 9 clip. AE (2-6), Mike Lamb (1-3) and Burke Lanceman (2-7) have all had minor success. On the downside, Carlos Lee (2-13), Officer Brad (1-7), and MoBerg (1-8) all haven’t done much against Mr. Kennedy.

   Roy is Roy: Awesome at times, amazingly frustrating at others. Roy has given up 4 or more earned runs in 3 of his last 4 starts, although one of those was against Colorado, so you can’t complain too much about that one. Roy has some serious work to do if he doesn’t want Sampson to go whizzing by him in the ERA race, since Chris whistled past him in his last start.
   Against the A’s batters, Roy has struggled against Mark Kotsay (6-11), Jason Kendal (14-33), and in very limited numbers, Chris Denorfia (1-3). Every other Oaklander Roy has faced has been pretty much owned: Mike “The best part of catching is the bending over” Piazza (3-14), Eric Chavez (0-2), and Milton Bradley (0-1).

   It should also be noted that OWA poster Gleach will be throwing out the first pitch in this game. Read allllll about it here. Any and everyone in attendance, make sure to cheer lustily if he throws a strike. And boo him like he’s Corky Fuckin’ Sosa if he bounces it.

Joe Blanton (5-4, 3.60) v. Chris Sampson (6-5, 3.36)

   I think I’ve heard of Joe Blanton before. Or maybe I’m thinking of Ike Clanton of Tombstone fame. Either way, Joe2 has clocked in a pretty solid season so far this year. Out of his 14 starts, 9 have been of the quality variety. He has given up exactly one run in the month of June so far, over 16 and 1/3 innings. The one run he gave up cost him his fourth loss of the season, losing to Boston 1-0 after throwing 7 and a third.
   The Stros haven’t seen much at all of Joe2. El Kabong has 2 hits in 6 Abs, one of which was a double. Mark “Tackleberry” Loretta is 0-3. That’s all folks. So buckle up, it’ll be another exciting night of watching the Astros flail wildly at a pitcher they’ve never seen before.

   Chris “Someone tell that Alkie guy to stop calling me, for Christ’s sake” Sampson continues to have success on the bump, giving up more than 3 runs only one time in his eleven starts. He won’t dazzle anyone, and he doesn’t strike a lot of guys out, but he keeps the ball down and pitches to contact with the best of them. Alkie’s man-love is pretty well deserved, if you actually wanted to wish something that horrific on a person. On a rather nonsensical side note, it’s a shame Chris isn’t a power pitcher, because according to his ESPN profile, his proper name is Christopher K. Sampson. That would make a horrible joke if he struck a lot of guys out. Chris K Sampson strikes again!
   Chris Denorfia is the only A to ever face Sampson, and he punched out. I like those odds!

Chad Gaudin (6-1, 2.43) v. Jason Jennings (0-1, 2.70)

   Rounding out the list of “Who the fuck is that guy?” pitchers is Chad Gaudin, another guy with a sparkling ERA that I’ve never heard of. Looks to me like this dude keeps the ball down pretty well. Induced 9 double plays already, with a 1.76 g/f ratio. Super. Expect to see some traffic on the bases, since dude gives up almost a hit per inning. But also expect those hits to be erased with a lot of 6-4-3s, some 4-6-3s, and a lot of me swearing at the TV and scaring my roommate.
   Very limited numbers, Lo is two of five and Kabong is oh for three. That bodes well.

Notable giveaways this series...

Tuesday and Wednesday to write home about. Looks like Wednesday there is some kind of haircut thing going on with TGF. 5 dollar hair cuts at the Conoco pump.

Thursday is the day to be at the ballpark. Mini American Flags for everyone (with Abortions for some, but miniature American Flags for everyone!). And Noe is probably wetting his pants when he sees this. Chester Charge Retro Tee Shirts* to the first 5k fans. So get there early!

* Barrio Queso Not Included.

Injury Report


Jesus, the A’s disabled list transaction sheet is about 15 pages long. From what I can discern from it…
Milton Bradley was injured in some kind of board game accident. He probably swallowed one too many of those peg-people from the Game of Life.
   Connor Robertson is on the 15 day DL with a broken thumb.
   Justin Duchscherer on the 15 day DL for undisclosed reasons. Personally, I suspect he might’ve sat on Connor Robertson’s thumb.
   Bobby Kielty is on the 60 day DL.
I think that’s it, but I’d need some kind of flow chart to compare against this bullshit list that has, and I’m not about to do that for the A’s.


Nothing new to report here:
Giminez still has a torn labia.
Backe is still chomping at the bit and shooting Tommy John the finger.

Our Interesting Things To Look For

  • Inevitably, now that Lance Berkman is starting to get out of his season-long funk, Carlos Lee has dropped in to a funk. Lee hasn’t had much success against the A’s pitchers the Good Guys are facing either, so I wouldn’t hold my breath on him blowing up this week.
  • Gaudin is the only non-hoss of the 3 pitchers the Good Guys are facing. The Joes are 6’4 and 6’3 respectively and weigh about a deuce and a half apiece, but Chad is only 5’10 and 180 pounds. I bet he’s the guy that ends up with Indian burns and ripped underwear elastic when the pitchers start getting frisky in the clubhouse.
  • Wouldn’t be just great if the Astros bats started all working at once? I’m not holding my breath or anything, but honestly…
  • Jack Cust. I remember seeing Jack when the Express were still an AA team. He was maybe the worst left fielder I’ve ever seen in person. Dude makes El Kabong look like Willie Mays. Cust is where routine flies went to become triples. His meteoric rise to fame looks to have cooled down. To be fair, despite his .231 average Cust has hit 8 homers in 91 at bats and gets on base at a Lance Berkmanesque clip (minus the bucket of sunflower seeds a day), sporting a .397 OBP. Cust is so bad in the field he doesn’t even have a position listed on the A’s page, just “DH”.

  • Fuck the Fucking Cubs.

Discuss today's game in the GameZone. Tune in Tuesday to watch Alkie moon over Sampson, and curse the Astros bats for not scoring 4 runs a game for Chris.

Talk Zone / Mac Talk
« on: June 11, 2007, 02:10:51 pm »
You mean that wasn't I joke? Damn. I better lower my sarco-meter settings.

IJoke, the new comedy phone from Apple.

Archive / HH makes an apt comparison.
« on: May 29, 2007, 12:44:43 pm »
If you have a Spec's or similar near you, go find some Lindeman's Framboise.  I've never met a non-beer drinker who didn't like it.  And if you do like it, things can go from there.  (Their Kriek is really good, too.)

That's a pretty "fringe" beer.  That's like saying "I'm going to teach you how to play baseball, and we'll start with your pickoff move".

Archive / The Coach gets off another good one...
« on: May 25, 2007, 12:09:26 pm »

Pravata says:
I don't care how it's done, but the Astros should trade for Eric Byrnes and Ryan Freel.  Byrnes center, Pence right, Freel 3d.  That would be entertaining.

Coach responds:
the MLB's version of bumper cars

Talk Zone / Diamondbacks Series Preview Up
« on: May 24, 2007, 03:14:48 pm »
Just in time to burn off that last hour of company clock you're wasting.

    Bank One Ballpark Chase Field

    Thursday, May 24, 8:40p.m. CDT – FSN
    Friday, May 25, 8:40p.m. CDT – FSN
    Saturday, May 26, 8:40p.m. CDT – FSN
    Sunday, May 27, 3:40p.m. CDT – KNWS

    Projected Matchups from

    Wandy Rodriguez (2-3, 3.99) v. Micah Owings (2-1, 4.96)

    Wandy’s fortunes with the W/L Gods have changed recently. From repeated hard luck loser to winner of his last 2 starts, thanks to decent run support and a lack of the “Wandy-Inning” (patent pending!).
    Other than Livan Hernandez and Scott Hairston (both 2 for 2, each with a homer), the D-Backs haven't done much against Wandy. Byrnes, Young, and Jackson all have a hit off him, but minimal damage otherwise.
    (edited to fix my accidental Giants coverage... Sorry to bring back nightmares of Omar Visquel's vacuum-like glovework)

    Owings got shelled in his last start, at Pittsburg. He gave up 7 earnies in 2.2 innings against the Pirates, including two bases loaded walks. He faced Houston earlier this year out of the bullpen, and pitched 1 1/3 innings and gave up one run.
    Berkman and Biggio both got hits off of him. Berkman’s double drove in Biggio. 4 other Astros have faced him, and they’re all 0-1.

    Woody Williams (1-6, 5.52) v. Randy Johnson (2-2, 4.54) Edgar Gonzalez (1-2, 4.81) probably

    Woody has his quality start streak come to crashing halt against the Rangers in his last start, getting shelled and leaving the game before he completed 5 innings. For reasons I don’t understand, Woody tends to pitch up in the zone a lot. When you’re throwing 80ish miles an hour, that seems like a recipe for disaster… Or at least for burnt popcorn. Hopefully he can right the ship again against the D-Backs.
    Eric Byrnes(4-9), Conor Jackson (5-14, 2 dingers), Chris Snyder (5-15), and Chad Tracy (8-28, 2 dongs) all tune up pretty good on Woodrow. Tony Clark (6-26) and Orlando Hudson (3-18) haven’t done much. Thank God Livan Hernandez isn’t pitching against Woody today, he goes 3 of 7 against Woody with 3 RBIs.

    If you’re like me, you’re wearing a cumberbund and nothing else. Also, you’re wondering who the hell Edgar Gonzalez is. So are most of the Astros, except for Adam Everett. He is sporting a shiny 8.10 ERA in the month of May, 3 runs in 3.1 innings of bullpen work. If ever there was a game the Good Guys SHOULD win, its this one. Assuming that Livan Hernandez doesn’t pinch hit with the bases juiced, of course.
       The Good Guys have had a lot of success against Edgar in limited numbers. Adam Everett is 4 for 6 with 3(!!!!!!) home runs. Carlos Lee is 1 for 1 with an RBI. Mark Loretta is 2 for 3. Berkman is 2 for 5. Everyone that has faced him has a hit off him, but those are the ones that stand out. Bidge is only 1 of 5 against him. But, he’ll be fine.

    Chris Sampson (4-4, 3.31) v. Brandon Webb (3-3, 3.86)

    What can you say about Chris Sampson? Guy has done everything you could possibly ask of him. He goes out, throws strikes, keeps the ball down, and keeps the Good Guys in games. He should be 6-2 by my count, but run support has been hard to come by.
       It has been feast or famine for the D-Backs against Chris. Chad Tracy (3-3, 3 doubles), Chris Young (3-4, 2 solo homers) had a good game against Sampson in Houston. Byrnes (1-3) and Snyder (1-3) both tallied singles. Everyone else that faced him, 0’s. Not too shabby, I’d say.

    Oh how I hate Brandon Webb. Every pitch he throws looks like that funky Albers slider from the other night that JD said looked like a Whiffle ball. I have to believe that even Webb doesn’t know exactly where his pitches are going. Just that they are filthy.
       Carlos Lee (8-15), Mark Loretta (7-22),and Jason Lane (2-3) hit Brandon pretty well. After that things get dicey. Everett is 4 for 16, Iceberg is 2 of 12, Twinkie is 2 of 17, Officer Brad is 1 of 15, and Bidge is a miserable 1 of 21. On the plus side, Bidge’s one hit was a home run. The Muppet Messiah is 0-4 against Brandon, but don’t tell ESPN!

    Roy Oswalt (6-3, 3.04) v. Livan Hernandez (4-2, 3.66)

    Roy managed to turn a victory in to a loss in San Fran, pissing away a massive 2 run lead in the middle innings. I suspect that Roy can bounce back from the devastating loss, but we’ll just have to see. He has such a fragile ego, I’m not sure that 2 run single by Slo-Mo-lina is something he’ll ever recover from.
       The D-Backs haven’t had a ton of success against Roy. Chris Young (2-3), Chris Snyder (2-5), and Steven Drew (3-9) are the only real success stories. Livan Hernandez has a hit off Roy in four trips, la-de-dah. Byrnes (3-12), Tracy (4-18), and Orlando Hudson (2-13) join a not-so-exclusive club of guys that struggle against Sparky.

    Giveaways this series ...

    Saturday visors and Sunday kid hats. Who Cares?

    Injury Report


    No new DL moves. Jennings should be activated soon, but he won’t pitch until after this series is over.
    Giminez still is resting his torn labia.
    Backe is still chomping at the bit, but won’t be back any time soon.

    Brad Lidge went to Houston for a MRI on his knee. I’m sure it was Albert Pujols’ fault somehow.


    Jeff DaVavnon was just sent from the 15 day DL to the 60 day with some form of shoulder injury.
    Chad Tracy is on the 15 day DL with a rib injury.

    Not on the actual DL, but on the day to day list:
    Randy Johnson will miss his Friday start with tendonitis in his throwing arm.
    Chris Young has a strained vaginerrrr groin, but should be ready to play at some point in this series.

    Our Interesting Things To Look For

    • Hopefully the injury bug isn’t contagious. The D-Backs are struggling with a multitude of day-to-day injuries.

    • A new Astro-Killah is born. Chris Young (No, not Chris Young or even this Chris Young… Yeah, THAT Chris Young), bitter and pissed due to Houston completely ignoring him in the draft despite his 100 HR a season potential in Minute Maid Park, will probably run roughshod on the Good Guys again. Hopefully his groin injury keeps him in check until the series is over.
    • The triumphant return of Morgan Ensberg… For at least one at-bat, it looked like maybe the MoBerg that actually swings the bat more than once a game had decided to return from his Fortress of Solitude. Course, he grounded into a double play his next at bat, so maybe there will be some kind of home run hitting/walking/double play hitting hybrid Ensberg (Caption to this picture: That’s right where the ball I dove for Wednesday night bounced off my glove) this go round. Or maybe Loretta will take over and everyone can just be happy (except Paul).

    And now, my open letter to the Houston Astros:

    Dear Astros,

          Zipp’s Lackey
    p.s. Jason Jennings, I apologize again for the laxative laced brownies Alkie sent you. I told him it was a bad idea but he wouldn’t listen. Who knew you could strain a tendon in your arm on the shitter.

    Discuss today's game in the GameZone, but be nice to the Clarks. Those other Astros Message Boards are just too rough for their delicate sensibilities. [/list]

    Talk Zone / Rangers take another hit...
    « on: May 18, 2007, 06:02:42 pm »

    I hate linking to the World Wide Leader in Yankees/Red Sox coverage, but there it is.

    Archive / Limey, on Barry Bonds and the Home Run Chase
    « on: May 16, 2007, 01:45:58 pm »
    The next person to accuse Biggio of hanging on purely for his milestone is going to get a Barry Bonds sized piece of shut the fuck up jammed up their arse.

    Archive / Coach on Ensberg's Almost-Homer.
    « on: May 16, 2007, 11:43:45 am »
    otterjb: Trying to be objective, it would've been nice to have seen Lane/Biggio or Biggio/Lane instead of Ausmus/Ensberg, but hindsight's 20/20. Ensberg came a several feet away from hitting a grand slam. Then he went back to doing what he's been doing.

    Jim R: yeah, and i am good looks and talent away from being a movie star.

    Talk Zone / Astros @ Reds Preview Posted!
    « on: May 07, 2007, 03:03:38 pm »
    You thought you'd gotten away from me for a week or two, but NO!.


    Astros @ Redlegs – Enough of the moping around shit! NO PRISONERS!

    The Great American Bandbox

    Monday, May 7, 6:10 p.m. CDT – FSN
    Tuesday, May 8, 6:10 p.m. CDT – FSN
    Wednesday, May 9, 6:10 p.m. CDT – FSN
    Thursday, May 10, 11:35 p.m. CDT - FSN

    Okay. I’ve tried being funny. I’ve tried… Allright, funny is all I’ve tried, other than asking a plastic kid’s toy how a series would turn out. Nonetheless, I’m sick of the Good Guys winning one out of three in the previews I do. It’s time to get this ship pointed in the right direction, hoist the Jolly Roger , load up the cannons, hoist the mainsail, and take care of business!

    Projected Matchups from

    Roy Oswalt (4-2, 3.06) v. Kyle Lohse (1-2, 3.12)

    Roy O upped his record against the Reds last week to 18-1, going 8 innings and utterly destroying the Reds save a solo shot by Adam Dunn that barely snuck over the right field wall. It’s a pretty well documented fact that Roy owns the Reds, so I’m not going in to any great detail about it. Roy, stare at this for at least 30 minutes before game time.  Alex Gonzalez (5-13) is the enemy. Destroy him by any means possible! And if you’re feeling generous, please plunk Griffey Jr. for me at some point in the game if the Good Guys manage to get a lead.

    Kyle Lohse was re-signed via arbitration by the Redlegs with hopes of him filling out the middle/bottom the rotation. Lohse hasn’t done anything spectacular since his first few years with the Twins; mostly he eats innings and gives up a lot of fly balls. He gives up more hits than innings pitched, and his ERA has hovered around 4.50 higher for most of his career. The 3.12 ERA he is sporting right now will almost definitely go way up before the season is over, especially when you see his ground outs to fly outs split favors fly balls. And we all know that fly balls in The Great American Who Fucking Cares mean homeruns, and lots of ‘em.
    On paper, the Astros own Mr. Lohse. The following players hit .333 or above against him: Roy Oswalt (1-2), Jason Lane (1-2), Brad Ausmus (2-5), Carlos Lee (16-41!), Craig Biggio (3-9), Orlando Palmeiro (1-3), Adam Everett (2-6), Mike Lamb (4-12), Pence!!! (1-3). Everyone else pretty much has sucked against him.

    Wandy Rodriguez (0-3, 4.09) v. Eric Milton (0-4, 4.85)

       Wandy and Woody are fighting hard for the “Last Starter To Get A Win” award, Houston Division. Wandy had one bad outing against the Brewers, which is the only thing keeping his ERA above 4. He has given up 3 or less runs in all but that one start, and has done a great job battling through the infamous “Wandy Inning” he was known for last year. Wandy has only walked 8(!) so far this year, while ponche-ing 32. That is pretty damn impressive.
       Aside from Griffey Jr. (6-8), Wandy has done a pretty good job against the Reds in his career in limited numbers. Adam Dunn and Brandon Phillips are both 2 for 5 against him. Other than that, he has kept the Reds he has faced in check. The only homer Wandy has given up to a Red was Griffey’s cannon-shot during the Reds series at MMP last week.

       Eric Milton generally sucks. He’s only made it through 6 innings once so far this year, with a couple of 5 inning outings and a 4 and one third outing too. And we all know what happens when you turn the game over to the Reds’ pen early in the game… Boom boom, out go the lights.
    Morgan Ensberg (7-13, 2 HR, 3 BB) absolutely owns Milton, as does Brad Ausmus (10-27). Lance Berkman sports a Moberg-like OBP of .400, despite only having one hit in seven at bats. Other than that, the Astros haven’t done much against him in limited chances. Adam Everett (1-11) and Jason Lane (1-10) pretty much bring up rear.

    Woody Williams (0-5, 5.49) v. Matt Belisle (3-1, 4.10)

       This is the most painful match up of all for me. I really want Woody to turn it around and get a W, but I really don’t want it to be against Matty B. Woody has been good against the Reds, holding everyone but Ken Griffey Jr. (13-31, 5 HR) and Josh Hamilton (2-3) both in the ballpark and low in average. Adam Dunn has hit 4 big flies against him, but only has 9 hits in 40 at bats against Woody total.

       Matt has limited exposure to the Astros, with Craig Biggio, Brad Ausmus, and Carlos Lee taking 5 at bats against him each. Believe it or not, those 3 are a rather shocking 0-15 against Belisle. Guys with success against him in their limited ABs: Mark Loretta (2-2), Fat Elvis (2-3), and Luke Scott (1-2). Matt hasn’t given up a homer to the Good Guys, and in fact has only given up one extra base hit to the current Astros, a Lance Berkman double.

       I’m rooting for this one to go to the Red bullpen in a 1-1 tie, and David Weathers to give up 2 or 3 grand slams in the late innings to propel the ‘Stros to the win.

    Matt Albers (1-1, 3.32) v Aaron Harang (4-1, 4.78)

       Fat Albers struck back for his first win in the Majors against the Redbirds last week, pitching 7 1/3 of fantastic baseball on short rest before yielding to the pen in Saturday’s 13-0 laugher. The bad news is Albers has been tattooed by the Reds in his short MLB career. Half the starting lineup is hitting over .400 against him in limited exposure, mostly thanks to his inability to get out of the 3rd inning in a stinker against the Reds last week at Minute Maid. Granted 3 of the 6 runs he gave up were unearned, but he still managed to give up 8 hits in 2 1/3 innings. Scott Hatteberg (3-6) has the most success at the plate against him, but a long list of 1 for 2’s follow: Griffey Jr., Alex Gonzalez, Josh Hamilton, and David Ross. Brandon Phillips (1-6) and Edwin Encarnacion (1-4) have the most at bats that sucked against him.
       I hate Aaron Harang. He’s like 9 feet tall, throws about 15 miles per hour, and it’s my understanding he stole Christmas back in 1995. He is somehow 4-1 with an ERA near 5, and always seems to have big games against the Astros. He also has royally fucked me the two times he was on my fantacrap baseball team, but that’s neither here nor there. Jason Lane (5-14) has had good success against him with 2 homers in his 5 hits. Luke Scott (4-12, 2 triples!), Adam Everett (8-27), and Mike Lamb (8-28) have all had also hit him well. Bidge has 12 hits off of him, but in 42 at bats. Berkman struggles to hit for average against him (7-32), but 5 of those 7 hits have been homers, and another was a double. Amazingly, Lance’s 6 extra base hits have netted him 6 whole RBIs. Way to set the table, guys. Ensberg (3-18), Burke (2-12_Ausmus 4-23) and Loretta (4-23) have all struggled against him.

    Notable giveaways this series...

    Not much to report here. Apparently the Reds are cutting their bleacher prices on Monday. And some kind of hair cutting deal Thursday. Frankly, who gives a rat’s ass?

    Injury Report


    Nothing new to report here.
    Jason Jennings is still a few weeks away per Garner.
    Giminez is still out for the year.
    Brandon Backe is still planning on coming back as soon as possible.

    To the best of my knowledge, Jared Burton and Elizardo Ramirez are residing on the 15-Day DL with a bum hamstring and right shoulder problems respectively. Always a damn shame when El Lizard isn't pitching. What an awesome name.
    Eddie Guardado and Chris Denorfia populate the 60-day DL with injuries to their pitching elbows.

    Our Interesting Things To Look For

    I managed to prevent Jason Lane from even seeing playing time with my kiss of death/Interesting Things To Look For feature last preview, so we’re just going to stop talking about Astro players all together…

    • Roger Clemens completed the circle of assholeness by returning to the New York PoleSmokes. There are few sports teams in this world I hate more than the Yankees, and Rog going to play out that way makes it easy for me to go from vaguely liking him for being an Astro to hating him for being the colossal cock-sucker that he is.
      Foghorn said it best…
      “Not to go all Denny Green, but Clemens is who we thought he was.  Don't ask Satan to the prom and then get upset when he whips out his fire cock and butt rapes you.

      Or something.
    • Hopefully, with the Clemens Horse-shit Express Train pulling in to New York, the Astros can start to bear down and play some real baseball, instead of this “Leave 10 guys on base every goddamn game” nonsense they’ve been pulling.
    • Along that same line of thinking, I really think the Good Guys are just another hit or two away from breaking out in a big way for more than one game a week. If Lance would just get his big ass in gear, things might just start falling in to place. The pitching has been great so far, and the bats need to stop pissing away all these excellent starts.
    • If you listen carefully, you will probably be able to hear the Coach and me cursing whichever team is doing better on Wednesday. That is going to be a painful one.

    Discuss today's game in the GameZone.

    Edited to fix link.

    Talk Zone / Cards Series Preview Up
    « on: May 04, 2007, 05:48:16 pm »
    Better late than never...

    Astros @ Co-ards – “I Hold The Future In My Fingertips…”

    New Busch

    Friday, May 4, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
    Saturday, May 5, 12:10 p.m. CDT – FSN
    Sunday, May 6 1:15 p.m. CDT – FSN

    Due to the lack of time I’ve had to write this preview, I decided to consult my oldest and dearest friend, The Magic 8 Ball for help in predicting this series. When I asked The 8 Ball if people would like this idea, it said, “Most Likely Not.” This is going to be a long and irritating series preview...

    Projected Matchups from


    Woody Williams (0-4, 5.66) v. Adam Wainwright (1-2, 6.14)

    Due to an apparent sinus infection, Woody has been moved up to take Sampson’s place tonight, moving Albers to Saturday and Sampson pushed back (tentatively) to Sunday afternoon. Obviously, this led to some quick cutting and pasting, so if you see a sentence in there that doesn’t make sense, blame it on Chris Sampson’s fucked up sinuses.

    Wainwright mowed down the Good Guys in his last start, going 7 innings while giving up 5 hits and one run in early April. After dominating the Piroots in his next start, the wheels started coming off. He gave up 4, 7 and 6 earned runs in his next 3, leaving him with a sparkling 6.14 ERA. In 2 home starts at New Busch, Wainwright has given up 10 earned runs in 10.1 innings, earning an even more dazzling 8.71 ERA and an 0-2 record. The Astro hitters have limited at bats against Adam, with Mike Lamb (2-4), Craig Biggio (2-5), and Lance Berkman (2-7) having decent success against him. Notably, Morgan Ensberg is a 0 for 6 and El Kabong is 0 for 3.
    Williams has settled down in his last few starts after getting roughed up pretty good at the beginning of the season. Holding the opposition to 3 runs in his last two starts, with 6 and 7 innings pitched respectively, Woody may finally be hitting his stride. On the down side, Woody is 0-2 on the, road sporting a 5.92 ERA. He’ll be looking to bring that number down some against Cards batters that have had mixed results against him. On the good side: Dicknose Pujols (3-5), Preston “My swing is uglier than the schnoz on Owen” Wilson (6-17), Aaron Miles (4-10), and that Asian outfielder is Soooooo Taguchi (2-2). Sucking versus Woody: Anaheim Jimmy Edmonds (4-22), Scott Rolen (2-19), and Gary Bennett (1-10).
    So, Magic 8 Ball, will Woody Williams have a good outing tonight?
    8 Ball’s Final Decision: “Yes”

    Magic 8 Ball, will the Astros get a win for a starting pitcher other than Sampson and Roy this series?
    8 Ball’s Final Decision: “My Sources Say No".

    Well fuck. I guess you can't win 'em all.


    Fat Albers (0-1, 5.02) v. Kip Wells (1-5, 5.56)

    Wells’ story could be called “Wainwright Part Deaux”. After a nice start, including 7 shutout innings against Lance Berkman and his Whiffle-Bat Posse, Wells has self-destructed of late. Apparently, giving up 7 earned runs per game is not a recipe for success, as Kip has proven in his last 2 starts. Kipper is 0-3 with a 6.11 ERA, which I’m sure NEVER would’ve happened at Old Busch. Damn new ballparks and their inability to prevent Kippy from sucking. Astros have seen a ton of Kipster: Mike Lamb (5-16), Fat Elvis (9-29), and the surprising Brad Ausmus (7-24). On the minus side, Craig Biggio (10-37) has ponched 10 times in 47 Abs against him, Jason Lane is 1 for 10, and Luke Scott is a big fat 0 for 3.

    Albers got shelled his last start, but the two previous starts were both of the decent variety. Sporting a 3.75 ERA before his Cincy meltdown and a 5.02 ERA after. Funny what 6 earned runs in 2 and one-third inning will do to the ol’ Earned Run Average. If Albers keeps the ball down, he’s pretty nasty. If Albers struggles with location, look out. Matt has never faced the Redbirds, so I’ll just use this space to ask the 8 Ball some more entertaining questions…

    Will the Astros win the division this year?
    8 Ball Final Decision: Outlook Not So Good

    Will the Astros win the wild card this year?
    8 Ball's Final Decision: Absolutely!

    There you have it, folks. Nuts to Kevin and his prognosticating! The 8 Ball says we’re the Wild Card! So take it to the bank!


    Chris Sampson (3-1, 3.55) v. Braden Looper (3-2, 2.84)

    So, if you’re at all like me, when you heard Braden Looper was going to start for the Redbirds this year, you laughed until you ruptured a kidney. Well, guess what? We were both wrong. Looper has been the best option on the hill for the Cards this year with Carpenter out. Other than an awful outing against the Brewers earlier this week, Looper has given up 3 or less earned runs a start. His ERA before the Brew Crew game was 1.91. Hopefully the Brewers cracked his fragile ego, and Braden will melt down like Tim Redding with a one run lead. Twinkie and Iceberg are both 4 of 8, Lamb is 3-8, and Saint Biggio is 4-12. On the sucky side, Ausmus (1-11), Mr. Peepers (0-5), and Luuuuuke (0-2).

    Sampson sprang back to Sampson-esque form after getting bombed in Philly, dominating the Brew Crew for 6 and a third while only giving up one run. Chris has very limited numbers against the Cards, facing only his Cocksmokeyness, Albert Pujols. Albert is 0 for 1 against Sampson in his career. Aside from the previously mentioned start against the Phightin’ Phils, Chris has given up 2 or less runs in every start.

    I asked the Magic 8 Ball if the Astros would win this game. It’s response, “Ask again later”. So instead I asked my useless coworker who works on computers all day to front for his night-gig as a typical Austin musician, Frank. Instead of responding to the question at hand, Frank asked me if I liked the Doors.
    I punched him in the face and decided to ask the 8 Ball again.
    8 Ball's Final Decision: Outlook not so good.

    Notable giveaways this series...

    Saturday is Mini Bat Day, and Sunday they’ll be giving away AT&T Lapel pins. Yee-fuckin-haw.

    Injury Report


    Sixteenth Verse, same as the first! Jennings still out with tendonitis. Backe and Giminez both on the 60 day DL. Lets kick it over to our future-telling friend again.

    Will Jennings recover from his tendonitis and pitch again for the Astros?
    8 Ball's Final Decision: No Way!


    Carp is still on the DL with swelling in his right breast… Err, Elbow.

    Our Interesting Things To Look For

    So, last time I did a preview, I did an El Kabong themed Interesting Things To Look For, and he went into a slide that ended about 2 days ago. So, I’ll go ahead and feature someone that already sucks, as to try and propel them into decentness.

    Our Interesting Things To Look For… Jason Lane Edition!

    • Jason has 5 extra base hits on the young season, 4 of which are home runs. Normally you’d be excited by that, until you notice that those 5 extra base hits are half of his total hits, and he is batting a salty .217. On the bright side, his slugging is .500! Wow!
    • Lane has only one multi-hit game so far this season, and it only took him 8 at bats in the game to do it. Against the Pirates on April 25th, Lane hit 2 singles and drove in a shocking 0 runs.
    • Jason has played in a total of 23 games, broken down as such:LF-1, CF 9, RF 10, PH 3.
    • Making a list about a player that is sucking hind tit this year sucks. Unless he breaks out beeegtime, I won’t be doing this again…

    At this point it would be retarded of me (and Alkie might just kill me) if I don’t recommend you go out and buy The Impossibles Anthology. Not only is the song Eight Ball awesome, this whole CD is full of all kinds of awesome Punkish Rock.

    In closing, I decided to ask the 8 Ball just a few more questions:

    Will the Astros sweep the series?
    8 Ball's Final Decision: My Sources Say No.

    Will the Astros take 2 out of 3?
    8 Ball's Final Decision: Outlook Not So Good.

    Will the Good Guys win A game in the series?
    8 Ball's Final Decision: Ask Again Later.

    At this point I’ve decided to go buy a real Magic 8 Ball and break it, just for good measure.

    The Magic 8 ball says “All Signs Point to Yes” when asked, “Will the readers enjoy the games more if they discuss them in the  GameZone?

    Edited to fix game times.

    Seattle Inning Summary 
    - I. Suzuki walked 
    - I. Suzuki stole second 
    - A. Beltre walked 
    - J. Vidro walked, I. Suzuki to third, A. Beltre to second 
    - R. Ibanez grounded into fielder's choice, I. Suzuki scored, A. Beltre out at third, J. Vidro to second 
    - R. Sexson hit by pitch, J. Vidro to third, R. Ibanez to second 
    - J. Guillen doubled to deep right, R. Ibanez and J. Vidro scored, R. Sexson to third 
    - K. Johjima safe at first on shortstop J. Lugo's fielding error, R. Sexson scored, J. Guillen to third 
    - Y. Betancourt safe at first on shortstop J. Lugo's fielding error, J. Guillen scored, K. Johjima to second 

    Archive / Making fun of Brits NEVER gets old...
    « on: April 26, 2007, 04:43:53 pm »
    Quote from: Limey on Today at 04:11:05 PM
    You simply don't get it.  "Saolve" is the newspeak word that means both soothe and prevent.  Wake up and smell the 21st century, Luddite.

    Zipp replies with:

    I enjoy the British accusing others of being Luddites.  The last technological innovation out of England involved quills.

    "Hard to blog this last inning.  After ErrorMiss flied out, DeRosa walked and was replaced by Rapid Roger Cedeno (completing the brace of Astro cast-off appearances with DeeDub's PHK earlier).  Rog managed to be out at 2nd when Jacques Jones walked.  Only the Cubs can pull off this play.  A pop out later, and the fat drunks were crying.

    I'm gobsmacked at the level of incompetence of the Cubs.  I shouldn't be, but I am."

    Talk Zone / Astros @ Brewers Preview up
    « on: April 20, 2007, 11:44:04 am »
    Read it here.

    After a quick two game cornholing of the Reds bullpen, lets hope the momentum carries over to the Brew Crew.

    Miller Park

    Friday, April 20, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
    Saturday, April 21, 6:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
    Sunday, April 22, 1:05 p.m. CDT – KNWS

    Projected Matchups from


    Matt Albers (1-1, 6.23) in AAA Round Rock( No ML starts this year) v. Ben Sheets (1-2, 5.85)

    The much anticipated return of Fat Albers, pitching against Astros nemesis and famed musician Ben “Folds” Sheets. This game is pretty much a dice roll. Albers has been all over the place in AAA, throwing great one start then melting down Carlos Zambrano style against (ironically) the Iowa Cubs. Albers has yet to face any Brewers, so lets all hope for an Astros-against-a-new-pitcher-like performance by the Brew Crew.
    Sheets has thrown one beauty and a couple of clunkers. His first start was a complete game 2 hitter. Since then, Ben has given up 12 earned runs in his last 11 innings. Adam Everett (15-41 with 2 dingers), Fat Elvis (18-54 with 4 dingers) and Jason Lane (8-23) all rake against Benny, while Luuuuuuuke (2-13) and MoBerg (2-22) basically stink up the joint against him. I wouldn’t be shocked to see Mike Lamb (9-29) playing at 3rd tonight.
    I fully expect him to get back to his Astrokillah ways for this game, so Albers better be ready to throw everything at the Brewers, including Luke Scott’s Ninja Outfit, as well as Ensberg’s Not-Sunglasses (no photo available).

    Wandy Rodriguez (0-1, 2.77) v. Chris Capuano (2-0, 2.81)

    Alkie’s ranting aside, Wandy is off to a great start this year. Avoiding the implosion inning he was famous for last season has really helped him to become a stable and useful tool in the rotation. As long as he can keep the ball down and doesn’t struggle with his control and issue a bunch of untimely free passes, Wandy should continue to have success on the mound this season. Geoff Jenkins (5-13) and Corey Hart (8-13) both mash Wandy, but the rest of the Brew Crew’s numbers are decent at best.
    Capuano had a breakout year in 2005, and his 2006 campaign mirrored the success numbers-wise, despite the dropoff in wins from 18 to 11. Chris brings a solid approach to the mound and has been an innings eater the last 2 years, averaging 220 innings and about 35 starts since his full-time job in the starting rotation began in 2005. From 2005 to 2006 he halved his walk-per-start numbers, and is off to a good start in 2007 walking 4 to his 15 ponches. Lance Berkman (9 for 20), Mark Loretta (4-9), Brad Ausmus (2-4 with 8 walks and a homer), Wandy (2-4), and Chris Burke (1-1 with a double) all have had success against Chris, while Biggio and Ensberg are both 2 of 14, and AE is a dismal 2-15. Maybe Loretta will be playing 2nd or short tonight.

    Roy Oswalt (3-0, 2.89) v. Dave Bush (1-1, 5.82)

    Having Roy finishing a 3 game series is just about the best news ever, assuming that Fat Albers and Wandy can assure the Good Guys a win out of the 2 games they’re pitching. The only eye-popping numbers that jump out from the Brewer Roster against The Wizard are Bill Hall’s (17-42). Geoff Jenkins (14-50) sports a decent average, but its not quite as impressive when you notice that of his 36 non-hit at bats, he has ponched 20 freakin’ times!
    Dave Bush is a middle to bottom of the rotation kind of guy. He hasn’t been around for very long, but had a decent year last year as an innings eater. Nothing ridiculously impressive or bad about this guy, just decent numbers across the board, but a nice walk/strikeout ratio at 38/166 in 2006. Lance Berkman (6-12) and OP (2-2 with a double) are the only guys with any serious success against Dave, but AE (2-11) and MoBerg (1-6) have not exactly shined in limited exposure.
    Expect a fast-moving and tight game here. Roy should win this one, assuming the Good Guys can rally for some runs behind him. If Geoff Jenkins starts, Vegas odds have him going off at 15/1 that he’ll strike out in one of his first two at bats.

    Mark’s Official Prediction
    Friday – In a closely contested race, Chorizo will pull out the win, much to the delight of the 6 Latino citizens of Mikwakuee.
    Saturday – Brat in a runaway.
    Sunday – Hot Dog will win in a close race, but will promptly be disqualified when the costume is removed and Sammy Sosa is discovered inside, wrapped in cork.

    Notable giveaways this series ...

    Friday – How cool is this?! Cecil Cooper Bobbleheads!
    Saturday – The first 10,000 kids in the door get a set of Brewers Trading Cards.
    Sunday – Well, this sounds… Interesting?
    “The first 10,000 fans will receive the Brewers 1982 American League Champions Medallion Collection Album. The album will hold 23 spectacular medallions featuring coaches and players from the memorable 1982 team. From April 23rd to May 18th, a new medallion is released each day and available only with the coupon printed inside the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. Fans simply take that day's medallion coupon to a participating retailer to purchase their medallion.
    first 10,000 fans”
    Injury Report


    Only new addition to the Triage Unit is Jason Jennings, who is recovering from tendonitis  in his throwing arm.
    Brandon Backe still recovering from Tommy John surgery.
    Giminez still recovering from labrum surgery.


    The Brewers are completely injury free, except for Laynce Nix,* who is recovering from the stupid “y” in his first name as well as a strained oblique.

    Our Interesting Things To Look For: Carlos Lee Edition!

    • El Kabong’s return to Mikwaukee. Sure he spent a year at the Rangers, but honestly, does anyone acknowledge them as anything but another also-ran in the Who Gives A Shit League?
    • Carlos averages more than 10 stolen bases a year, with a career total of 97 to only 33 caught stealing. He also has never struck out more than 94 times in a season, and less than 90 a season since 2004.
    • Carlos Lee has kids. Yeah, I know, not that interesting. How about this though: He has two daughers, named Cassandra and Karla. And a son… named… Karlos. That is kind of interesting, no? Hey! Wait! Come back! The preview is almost over, I promise!

    On a somewhat personal note I’m glad the Good Guys got out of town without having to face Matt Belisle. I’ve been an Astros fan all of my life, but I’m disgustingly torn when trying to decide what I want to happen when Matty-B is on the hill. Of course, with the way the Redleg Bullpen looks, it seems like a safe bet to hope Matt shuts down the ‘Stros for 7 and then we score 15 on Dave “Stormy” Weathers and his Get Shelled Posse.

    And on a less personal note
    You ever wonder if Corey Hart ever hates his parents more than a little bit for not naming him Sam or Bob or Jason?

    Discuss today's game in the GameZone.

    * I couldn’t find any weird picture that showed how much I dislike Laynce Nix, so instead I decided that you’d enjoy a picture of Alex Rodriguez and Laynceyboy looking weird together.

    Archive / Kevin throws lefty a hanging breaker, and Lefty...
    « on: April 18, 2007, 12:36:56 pm »
    During discussion of El Kabong's new schtick of riding his s(ch)tick hose when hitting a dinger, Kevin wondered...

    Quote from: Kevin on Today at 11:00:08 AM
    Makes you wonder, What Would Jeff Bagwell Mutter (WWJBM)?

    Which Lefty responded to by saying:

    Nontraveling stickhorseshit show

    Archive / Alkie does his thing...
    « on: April 16, 2007, 11:59:03 am »

    After Mariano Rivera gave up a 3 run bomb to Mark Freakin Scutaro to lose a game to the A's and some TZers start dogpiling on Alice for bailing on the Good Guys for the Yankme Scum, Alkie responds with:

    Once upon a time, there was a vagina.   A vagina with a huge fucking growth. 

    After a magical month where the vagina was the talk of the town for setting all sorts of postseason records, the vagina and his growth (a parasite with no real use) decided to hold a good old fashion whoring for the rights to the vagina.

    The vagina said all the right things.  He had his friends in Houston.  His family liked Houston.  The schools were better than Ruerto Pico, where the vagina was from.  He was going to stay here and go into the Hall of Fame as an Astro.

    Then, at the stroke of midnight on the last day of the last year of the last millenium of time, the vagina announced that he wasn't going to stay in Houston.  No sir.  The growth, it seems, was actually in charge.  This hideous cancer had suggested that the vagina would be happier paying 14.6% in state/local income taxes and moving to a place that was actually colder than Philadelphia in April.  Even though it was, in fact, north of Antarctica. 

    The vagina was happy.  He had a new bunch of friends and a new house and all these endorsement deals.  No wait, he didn't.  He was miserable.  His new team spent a bunch of money on dog shit, he never left his house, and could barely spell Manhattan after a full season.  Probably his Ruerto Pico education.

    Anyway, even after all this bullshit and having handcuffed his former friends in Houston, the Astros made the fucking World Fucking Series without him.  And the vagina?  He was killed by a truck full of razorblades.

    The End.

    Talk Zone / Co-ards Series Preview Posted
    « on: April 05, 2007, 04:58:00 pm »
    Read it here

    This is my first time, be gentle (girlish giggle).

    So, now that we’ve gotten a few practice games out of the way, its time to start the season, right? Wait, we started 3 days ago? Son of a bitch.  Well, the Good Guys have some work to do at this point. Getting pecker-slapped by perennial cellar dwellers in the Central is not exactly a good way to start the season. Scoring less than 3 runs a game against the Pirate pitching staff with our new and improved lineup also doesn’t bode particularly well. The only good thing about a slow start is the number of fair weather fans that fall off the bandwagon. The bad news is, the air waves will be even more filled with their cries for a new closer, Roger Clemens, and <insert real CF here> .
    The Co-ards aren’t in much better shape. With a similarly dismal start against the goddamn fucking Mets, they also stand at 0-3, hanging out with the Astros at the bottom of the Central. As has been covered repeatedly in the TZ and everywhere the BfiB complain on a regular basis, Chris Carpenter is suffering from some elbow tenderness, and the Co-ard rotation is looking shakier than a late night CoRussa sobriety test.
    Anyway, hopefully its time for the Astro bats to come out of their early season slumber and whip some Redbird ass.

    Minute Maid Park

    Friday, April 6, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
    Saturday, April 7, 6:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
    Sunday, April 8, 1:05 p.m. CDT – FSN

    Projected Matchupsfrom

    Adam Wainwright (0-0, 0.00) vs Wandy Rodriguez (0-0, 0.00)
    Last Season: Wainwright (2-1, 3.12, 5 saves) vs. Rodriguez (9-10, 5.64)

    Anthony Reyes (0-0, 0.00) vs. Roy Oswalt, (0-0, 1.17)
    Last Season: Reyes (5-8, 5.06)

    Kip Wells, (0-1, 3.00) vs. Jason Jennings, (0-0, 1.50)
    Notable giveaways this series include Jeff Bagwell figurines and posters on Friday, 2007 wall calendars on Saturday to the first 30,000 fans, and Junction Jack Plush Dolls on Sunday to the first 20,000 youngsters through the gates.
    You didn’t hear it from me, but I think that Kip Wells would really appreciate being bombarded by 20k or so plush dolls around the start of the 3rd inning.

    Injury Report

    Cardinals – No listed injuries yet, but they are in the process of evaluating Carpenter’s elbow soreness. Preliminary reports say its nothing serious, but he is definitely missing his start this weekend..

    Houston – Nothing new to report here. Backe and Giminez both on the DL, and Luke Scott spent a few days in a Bacta Tank healing up his dinged up elbow. He should be good to go Friday, according to the  Astro Training staff.

    Our Interesting Things To Look For
    ·   Adam Wainwright, strictly as a reliever, has pretty much owned the Astros. Only Good Guys worth a damn against him are Bidge with a hit and two RBIs in two at bats and Mike Lamb, who is 2-3 against Adam. Moberg is 0-6 with 4 ponches.
    ·   Astros to watch against Anthony Reyes: Mike Lamb, 2-3 with a double. Bidge 2-4 with a double, a dinger, 2 walks, and 3 RBIs. Morgan Ensberg, 0-6 with 5 Ks.  I would venture to say we might see some Mike Lamb this weekend
    ·   .The Astros have faced Kip Wells a lot. A combined 256 at bats, with a batting average of .270 against him, but that number should be slightly higher since it includes some appearances by Woody Williams. RoyO is 0-3 against Kipper with 2 Ks, but I don’t know why you’d care about that at all, so just ignore it.
    ·   Wandy put up decent numbers against the Co-ards last year, holding them under .260 as a team. Jennings has held current Cards to a sparkling .227 average. Thank the BBGs that Mark Mulder isn’t around for the Cards still; he owned Jennings while at the plate, sporting a gaudy .400 average in 10 at bats.
    ·   Biggio Hit Watch: 2934 down, 66 to go!

    Discuss today's game in the GameZone, but for God’s sake, keep it upbeat. Alkie is on suicide watch already



    ETA: Proper game listing, showing Roots as visitors.

    Archive / ETA's repsonse to Alkie in the GZ thread...
    « on: April 03, 2007, 02:03:36 pm »
    Quote from: Alkie on Yesterday at 08:02:09 PM
    I like that no one will post it....but not one of you has an easy feeling seeing Lidge warming up with a 1 run lead.

    Fine.  Don't admit it.

    I thought it was the fried gizzards I ate for dinner from Chicken Express.

    They aren't kidding about the express part.


    Check out Houston's lineup...

    Raines -cf
    Sutton - 3b
    J. Ash - 2b
    Varner - DH
    Santangelo - C
    Sadler - LF
    F. Caraballo - RF
    Sellers - 1B
    Maysonet - SS

    And Nieve pitching


    Talk Zone / This just in...
    « on: December 13, 2006, 06:08:38 pm »
    The Link

    SOMEBODY gets it! Holy cow!

    Talk Zone / How in the name of god...
    « on: July 08, 2006, 07:02:25 pm »
    does Josh Lewin stay employed?


    Talk Zone / Pitch around Jason Bay, for Christ's SAKE!
    « on: May 28, 2006, 03:33:11 pm »

    Talk Zone / I hate the goddamn fucking Pirates...
    « on: May 28, 2006, 12:36:31 am »
    That is all.

    Talk Zone / Damon to the Yankees
    « on: December 21, 2005, 12:23:43 am »
    Deal not done, but its being reported at 4 years and 50ish million.

    Talk Zone / Interesting read re: Umpires in the World Series
    « on: November 07, 2005, 12:46:36 pm »
    From a new favorite website of mine...
    Scroll down and read the last memo, titled "Memo to Frank Pulli: I don?t like what?s going on here."

    Or read the whole thing if you want some sports-related chuckles...
    The Link

    Talk Zone / Proof that ESPN is phasing out the playoffs now...
    « on: October 11, 2005, 06:02:11 pm »
    The Link

    THIS is front page-linkable news?

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