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My father was never that good at playing catch. Field of Dreams this was not. He was a band nerd in
high school, and his form was atrocious. A less charitable son would say that he threw like a girl. But
he’d still pick up his glove and stand out in the yard, or across the street at the park, and we’d toss the
ball around a bit. Levi’s 505s, white sneakers, and that odd, flailing elbow motion. Back and forth. Pop.
Pop. Pop.
It’s not like I can blame my lack of athletic achievement on my dad’s lousy throwing motion. Perhaps I
can blame him for a beanpole physique, but that’s about it. Most of all, he taught us to see games as
just that, baseball included. And he showed us that games could have a piece of our love, but not our
all-consuming obsession.
We’d continue the long toss tradition past the point where I was done with organized baseball, but
as many things do, it petered out altogether around the time that I left for college. I guess that’s the
way these things are supposed to go. I don’t recall seeing many men in their thirties who still toss
the pill around with their pater familias. But today I’m both reflecting the passing of that part of my
relationship with my dad, and looking forward to starting the same tradition for myself.
We saw the wedding tackle on the ultrasound at the end of the appointment. For whatever reason, I’d
been thinking “girl” ever since we found out in January. Either way, the seismic shift in my mentality
was immediate. There was an hour lag before the follow-up appointment when the doctor would tell
my wife that everything looked blessedly normal.
I filled that hour by driving from the Med Center to the Academy at 59 and Kirby, finding the tiniest
Astros shirt I could. It’s the new orange, so bright it’s sort of obnoxious. At least it’ll hide stains well. I
hope I can teach my son how to love this game like I do. And I hope that thirty years from now, he’s not
making fun of me on the internet for how I throw.
Probable PitchersMonday, May 13th6:08 (!) CT, The House That Unemployment Built
Bud Norris (4-3, 3.40) v. Anibal Sanchez (3-3, 1.97)
Bud’s been the ace that we were expecting Harrell to be this year, at least at Minute Maid. On the road,
he’s been…well, the up-and-down Bud Norris we’ve seen for the past few years. He hasn’t faced any of
the Tigers much, with the exception of Prince Fielder, who’s 5-20 with a homer and six K’s against him.
Sanchez wasn’t the big, heralded signing that Zach Grienke was, but he’s certainly been far more
impactful in Detroit. There’s no faking a sub-2.00 ERA, even with a girl’s name. Pena’s had some
success against Sanchez, with a 1.017 OPS in 10 ABs, and Ronny Cedeno is 1-for-3 with a homer against
him.
Tuesday, May 14th6:08 (?) CT, Rust Belt Park
Lucas Harrell (3-3, 4.67) v. Doug “Fister” Fister (4-1, 3.14)
Harrell’s been frustratingly inconsistent this year, missing the strikezone a lot and generally not
delivering the results we saw last year. As an AL Central refugee, Harrell’s seen most of the Tigers lineup
before. Fielder, Alex Avila and Omar Infante have all hit him well, and Miggy Cabrera has a homer off
him.
Fister’s had this season firmly in his grasp so far. He’s been pounding hitters, and squeezing out of some
tight spots. If he keeps ramming his pitches into the zone, he’ll keep getting the happy endings he’s
seen so far. In the past, Altuve’s given Fister quite the beating, with a 1.500 OPS, and Carter drove one
all the way into the hole with a homer as one of his three hits in eight AB’s. I BARELY KNOW ‘ER!
Wednesday, May 15th12:08 (?!?) CT, The Definition of Urban Malaise Stadium
Dallas Keuchel (0-1, 4.43) v. Max Scherzer (5-0, 3.61)
Keuchel’s back in the starting lineup after the release of Humber and the relegation of Peacock to the
bully. His start against the Rangers went pretty well, but was marred by a lack of run support, and the
bullpen shitting the bed as per usual. In 19 AB’s, the Tigers are hitting a collective .368 against him, with
a couple of doubles and an RBI by Don Kelly.
ScherzerSCHERZERSCHERZERWhat manner of molesty, heterochromia madness is this? I dare not say more.
InjuriesAstrosJosh Fields – 15 Day DL – Rehabbing his forearm strain
Justin Maxwell – 15 day DL – Could be back from broken hand by June.
Alex White – Out – Tommy John for EVERYONE!
TigersOctavio Dotel – 15-Day DL – Right elbow inflammation. Can’t pick up a baseball, which is pretty
important.
Austin Jackson – DTD – Sore right hammy.
PromotionsIs anyone actually going to go to Detroit for this series, just so they can get a Fister Mouse Pad (really)?
At least patronize us with Coca-Cola Value Days or some shit.
What to Watch ForThe Post Postolos Astros. Say that five times fast.
Sanchez’s inevitable no-hitter.
A good Fisting.
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