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General Discussion => Talk Zone => Topic started by: Arky Vaughan on September 29, 2006, 03:58:08 pm
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Did anyone else hear the excerpt last night on 610 of the host of a sports radio program in Michigan after Michigan State blew a big lead to Notre Dame? I could care less about those two teams, but I found this guy's on-air nervous breakdown to be hilarious. It's a pretty good verbal representation of what's happening on the Cardinals boards. If you don't want to listen to the whole thing, just move the market to the middle of the clip, and you'll still get the flavor of it.
The Link
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First time I've tuned in 610 in months, and that's what I heard. Pretty funny, actually. Was he piping in those chokes as sound effects or doing that himself, live?
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First time I've tuned in 610 in months, and that's what I heard. Pretty funny, actually. Was he piping in those chokes as sound effects or doing that himself, live?
I think he was probably making those sounds. He certainly was losing his voice.
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First time I've tuned in 610 in months, and that's what I heard. Pretty funny, actually. Was he piping in those chokes as sound effects or doing that himself, live?
I think he was probably making those sounds. He certainly was losing his voice.
Simply amazing. Some people are just born to have a microphone and public platform.
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Just as I was thinking he started to sound like Matt Foley, I scrolled down and saw the guy's comment as such. That's epic.
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Just as I was thinking he started to sound like Matt Foley, I scrolled down and saw the guy's comment as such. That's epic.
"Don't go to the shotgun in a monsoon."
The picture of Teddy Ruxpin and H.R. Pufinstuf is great too.
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After Friday's matches at the Ryder Cup, US Captain Tom Lehman said all the right things. Well, almost all the right things. Amongst his praise and platitudes, he mentioned that "God is on our side". Oops.
Ireland is not without religion, and Eamonn Sweeney (presumbably a mick) fired of this hilarious repost in the next morning's Irish independent. It's long, but well worth it.
"Fear not, God is on our side"
THERE was a man. And the man's name was Tom Son Of Lehman, and he was with God. Now Tom Son Of Lehman said that he would go forth in the name of the land best loved by God, which was the United States of America, and do glory to its name in the unholy territories of Europe.
And Tom Son Of Lehman gathered around him an army of the goodly, namely his three assistants Corey Pavin, Loren Roberts and David Ogrin, who were all members of the Bible Study Groups on their golf tours, and chose for his captain's pick Stewart Cink who was also a man of the Good Book, and did ask former Ryder Cup captain Byron Nelson to make wooden ornaments for the players inscribed with a verse from the Book of Psalms.
The evildoers among the populace did say that a PGA Bible Study Group doth sound like the least fun you could have with your clothes on, yet Tom was not dissuaded. And before he set out for the Godless territories of Europe he did visit the soldiers of the land loved best by God who hath lately been engaged in the doing of God's work by blowing the unholy shit out of Arab Civilians, and torturing the infidel in prison that is called Abu Ghraib. Surely, thought Son Of Lehman, we cannot be defeated as God is on side.
And Tom Son Of Lehman's Holy band did land in the country of Ireland wherein they headed for the Club that is known as K. And when they did see the expanse of green which spread out before them, like unto the land of Canaan in front of the Jews, they did rub their hands together with much glee and predict victory. Who shall stop us, they said, for hast not this course been designed for the attraction of wealthy American tourists and is it not thus right into our barrel?
Yet the night before the hostilities were to commence, the Lord sent a mighty storm like to the deluge which had submerged the Earth back in the day of Noah and Tom Son Of Lehman was wroth, saying, "0 Lord, why hath thou sent this weather which will surely make the course play like a links on the West coast of Clare on the worst day of November?"
And the Lord replied, saying, "I'm only having a laugh, Tom," and did abate the storm. "Phew," quoth Tom Son of Lehman, and did send out his warriors two by two like the animals which went on to Noah's Ark.
Tom Son of Lehman looked at what he saw on the first day. And Tom Son of Lehman saw that it was bad. For the Godless Europeans did commence to give the men from the land best loved by God an almighty ass whupping. And there was among Tom Son Of Lehman's number a player known as Tiger Who Was Born Eldrick who was the mightiest warrior in the land in those days, yet when he faced the host of Europe he did become afflicted with the sleeping sickness and faded away like the dew on the grass.
So Tom Son of Lehman spoke to the Lord and said, ?Tiger, Tiger, why hath he forsaken me??
And the Lord replied and said, "Hath thou not noticed that Tiger Who Was Born Eldrick is of a different hue than that of the other warriors and that his people are despised by those who follow the Ryder Cup team in America, even unto them making jokes about fried chicken and keeping them outside the Promised Land of Augusta unless they are employed taking out the trash. Expecteth thou then that Tiger shalt bust a gut for the sake of a bunch of cracker assholes?"
"Lord," said Tom Son Of Lehman, "why the profanity."
"I hath been in Ireland too long dude," said the Lord, "get over it."
And Tom Son Of Lehman grew wroth for he knew that he was a Man of God and so were his back-up team and his captain's pick and JJ Son Of Henry and he railed against the Almighty and said, ?Why dost thou favour the unbelievers when everybody knowest that America is the land best loved by God and our life is a blessed lifestyle and our God is an awesome God and we have elected as our president George Son Of George Son Of Bush."
And God said, "Chill, man. Hath thou no sense of history? Hath though not seen the people of the land of Sergio Son Of Garcia parading through the streets in their pointy black masks in Holy Week? Were not the ancestors of Colin Son of Montgomerie being miserable for the sake of God before ye even thought of it? And long before thy people erected super chapels in Dallas and such spots did not the Irish see the Virgin Mary appearing in Knock and build a regional airport in her honour? Come on, Tommy baby."
Tom Son Of Lehman felt grief in his heart and he said, "Lord, why dost thou not provide a miracle like as thou did in Brookline."
And the Lord said, 'Now you have it Tom. Brookline. Didst I not answer thy prayers then?"
?You did Lord."
"And what didst thou do? Thou acted like a complete langer and did trample across the line of Jose Maria Son Of Olazabal. The Europeans did not forgive thee for that and neither have I for it was the worst bit of behaviour I had seen on a golf course since Lucifer did sign for a wrong score during the Heaven Open and was banned from club membership for all eternity."
So Tom Son Of Lehman became convinced that he would not return with the cup that is known as Ryder and he wallowed in his sorrow in the luxurious tent provided by Michael The King Of Paper. And then he thought of a favourite story from the Bible Reading Group and leaped up in joy.
"Lord," he said, "Are my travails not like to those of the title character from the Book of Job who is a good and a godly man and is tested and tried by the Lord before everything turns out okay in the end?"
''They are a bit, all right," said the Lord.
"And will it not be like the Blessed Day of Brookline when we shall storm back in the singles and win a great victory for the land best loved by God?" said Tom Son Of Lehman.
"It might be," said the Lord.
And Tom Son Of Lehman was happy.
?Tom," said the Lord.
?Yes."
"Don't hold thy breath."
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Just as I was thinking he started to sound like Matt Foley, I scrolled down and saw the guy's comment as such. That's epic.
Somehow, Michigan State managed to lose to Illinois today. Next week's show is sure to be a whopper.