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General Discussion => Talk Zone => Topic started by: Texifornia on July 10, 2019, 12:07:01 pm

Title: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
Post by: Texifornia on July 10, 2019, 12:07:01 pm
https://www.mlb.com/news/bud-selig-discusses-his-book (https://www.mlb.com/news/bud-selig-discusses-his-book)

I've got to run to the vomitorium now...
Title: Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
Post by: Ron Brand on July 10, 2019, 08:10:48 pm
I wrote this in 2012, as a part of a series preview. I still feel this way.

Quote
I fucking hate The Peen.

All the real hatred I have is reserved for the Owner In Absentia though. The classless, bullying greedhead who became the scuttling lickspittle of the Barons who call the shots in the game I love. Inheritor of prosperity, relentless questor for ways to heap even greater sums into the ledgers of those who jerk his strings, all the while blithely willing to suffer the hatred and scorn of millions of fans across the country. As much as I’d like to see The Peen sprawled on the turf, shattered testicles filling his pants with blood, it would make the scene complete to catch Allen Huber’s kneeling figure as it pulls erect in the glare of the lights, his fangs dripping from lapping his dinner, a raspy gasp escaping his lips as he turns, snaps his cape and assumes the form of a bat to fly back across Milwaukee to his nocturnal lair.

Except cameras can’t see vampires.

Fuck you, Bud. I will piss on your grave. This time it counts.

Fuck him. Fuck his bullshit "book," his chortling reminiscenses of times spent emptying the spittoons of the Really Wealthy, his giggling with Other Millionaires and the twisted dream that they think of him as a friend. Or that any of us have the slightest interest in whatever warped sack of lies he hawks as his story.
Title: Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
Post by: Mr. Happy on July 10, 2019, 11:33:28 pm
I wrote this in 2012, as a part of a series preview. I still feel this way.

Fuck him. Fuck his bullshit "book," his chortling reminiscenses of times spent emptying the spittoons of the Really Wealthy, his giggling with Other Millionaires and the twisted dream that they think of him as a friend. Or that any of us have the slightest interest in whatever warped sack of lies he hawks as his story.

Indeed. Your level of hatred is palpable and highly justified. FYB belongs in the Ninth Circle of Hell.
Title: Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
Post by: Col. Sphinx Drummond on July 11, 2019, 07:47:13 am
I've wondered if Selig's grave will be accessible pissing on. There seems to be a great demand.
Title: Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
Post by: Ron Brand on July 11, 2019, 08:22:26 am
I've wondered if Selig's grave will be accessible pissing on. There seems to be a great demand.

Maybe he'll leave instructions in his will to charge admission.
Title: Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
Post by: Ty in Tampa on July 11, 2019, 08:43:26 am
Maybe he'll leave instructions in his will to charge admission.

"If they want to piss on the grave of the greatest commissioner of baseball ever then, by golly, they're going to have to pay for the privilege."
Title: Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
Post by: Col. Sphinx Drummond on July 11, 2019, 10:42:48 am
Might have to outfit a drone with a squirt bottle.
Title: Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
Post by: Craig on July 11, 2019, 02:39:53 pm
"If they want to piss on the grave of the greatest commissioner of baseball ever then, by golly, they're going to have to pay for the privilege."

If you paid him enough, he'd probably leave the roof open.
Title: Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
Post by: Texifornia on July 11, 2019, 02:59:57 pm
To me, Pinwheel is just as bad as FYB. If I remember correctly, he was with the Chronicle and writing that a league change would certainly not be a condition for sale approval by MLB and was only something being discussed as a possibility for the distant future, and it probably wouldn't be the Astros moving anyway. Then, just as the sale and forced league change became known, he resigns from the Chronicle and goes to work for MLB.

Somebody correct my recollection, but I remember him as a real snake in the grass.
Title: Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
Post by: Bench on July 11, 2019, 03:02:11 pm
I wrote this in 2012, as a part of a series preview. I still feel this way.

Fuck him. Fuck his bullshit "book," his chortling reminiscenses of times spent emptying the spittoons of the Really Wealthy, his giggling with Other Millionaires and the twisted dream that they think of him as a friend. Or that any of us have the slightest interest in whatever warped sack of lies he hawks as his story.

I came back to my computer after a few hours, read this and though "That's really harsh on Bouton!"

But yeah. The notion that Bud can peddle his bullshit legacy to any sentient being is preposterous.
Title: Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
Post by: MusicMan on July 11, 2019, 03:09:40 pm
If you paid him enough, he'd probably leave the roof open.

If only I were his funeral director.

“He requested a closed casket, but we’re forcing him to leave it open.”


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
Post by: moriartp on July 11, 2019, 03:14:54 pm
If only I were his funeral director.

“He requested a closed casket, but we’re forcing him to leave it open.”

POTW
Title: Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
Post by: Ron Brand on July 11, 2019, 03:43:33 pm
I came back to my computer after a few hours, read this and though "That's really harsh on Bouton!"

Sorry about that. I have nothing but love and respect for Jim Bouton.
Title: Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
Post by: VirtualBob on July 11, 2019, 07:31:54 pm
POTW
If only ...