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General Discussion => Beer and Queso => Topic started by: Limey on February 19, 2010, 10:30:12 am
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As usual, The Onion nails it (http://www.theonion.com/content/news/tiger_woods_announces_return_to?utm_source=onion_rss_daily).
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I caught the tail end (sorry) of the conference. Bizarre.
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I caught the tail end (sorry) of the conference. Bizarre.
All I saw was him hugging his mom and buddies, then the people "commentating" freaking ripped him. what was the deal?
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So is he going to play in the Masters or not?
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So is he going to play in the Masters or not?
If he wanted to "look good" he would NOT, but I doubt his ego will allow him to miss a major
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Invited audience? No questions? Call it the Not Me Culpa.
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It was the most robotic apology of all time.
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If he wanted to "look good" he would NOT, but I doubt his ego will allow him to miss a major
Honestly, the only thing I care about at this point is that he does play. I really couldn't care less about who he has and hasn't fucked. Just play golf, Tiger.
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Invited audience? No questions? Call it the Not Me Culpa.
I do not understand him. If he would drop the script and be a person most would forgive him, as we are all human. Look at Daly...the dude is a train wreck and 95% of the golf watching public is pulling for him. Trying to control everything and looking like a robot reading a script is only going to make things worse.
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Noe, why is Tiger Woods apologizing to me?
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Noe, why the hell is CNN replaying this??
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I do not understand him. If he would drop the script and be a person most would forgive him, as we are all human. Look at Daly...the dude is a train wreck and 95% of the golf watching public is pulling for him. Trying to control everything and looking like a robot reading a script is only going to make things worse.
If Tiger would only pull for himself, he wouldn't be in this mess.
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If Tiger would only pull for himself, he wouldn't be in this mess.
Golf clap.
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If Tiger would only pull for himself, he wouldn't be in this mess.
WOW, did not realize just how well I teed that up for you. Nicely done.
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Golf clap.
What is an STD spread by Tiger Woods?
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If Tiger would only pull for himself, he wouldn't be in this mess.
Doesn't Buddhism seek the answer to "What is the sound of one hand 'clapping'?"
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What is an STD spread by Tiger Woods?
Results in an unplayable lie.
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If Tiger would only pull for himself, he wouldn't be in this mess.
I think he's just baiting the hook for the media and will return in April. Which of course would make him the Masters Baiter.
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Doesn't Buddhism seek the answer to "What is the sound of one hand 'clapping'?"
Or in this case, the sound of one hand fap-fap-fapping.
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WOW, did not realize just how well I teed that up for you. Nicely done.
If you can set me up as well with a golf ball, you'd be my hero.
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If you can set me up as well with a golf ball, you'd be my hero.
I will meet you at the range tomorrow around noon if you would like...
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I will meet you at the range tomorrow around noon if you would like...
...so this kind of thing has moved from public parks and bus stations to the world of golf.
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...so this kind of thing has moved from public parks and bus stations to the world of golf.
Hey, everybody! We're all gonna get laid!! (NTTAWWT)
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Simmons' take: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/100219
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I will meet you at the range tomorrow around noon if you would like...
[Taps foot] That's a date [Waves hand]
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Simmons' take: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/100219
Interesting...
Normal rules don't apply to celebrities.
Edith: It's illegal to be married to two people at the same time, Dewey!
Dewey Cox: What about if, if you're famous?
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Interesting...
Edith: It's illegal to be married to two people at the same time, Dewey!
"I'm married to three women and support them all. That's big o'me isn't it?"
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And, Dan Jenkins drops the motherfucking soup bone: http://www.golfdigest.com/golf-tours-news/2010-02/golf-tiger-jenkins-0218.
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And, Dan Jenkins drops the motherfucking soup bone: http://www.golfdigest.com/golf-tours-news/2010-02/golf-tiger-jenkins-0218.
Yikes.
For all of the Tiger idolaters out there, it must have been like finding out that ice cream sundaes give you gonorrhea.
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And, Dan Jenkins drops the motherfucking soup bone: http://www.golfdigest.com/golf-tours-news/2010-02/golf-tiger-jenkins-0218.
I could give a fuck about Tiger Woods one way or another but the Simmons piece and the Jenkins piece both come across as envious and/or wounded jocksniffers blatantly basking in schadenfreude. Fuck, Jenkins even cops to it - Woods snubbed his requests for access and so now he's gloating over the guy's public misfortune. Fucking pathetic.
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Jenkins a "wounded jocksniffer?" Interesting. Read him.
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I could give a fuck about Tiger Woods one way or another but the Simmons piece and the Jenkins piece both come across as envious and/or wounded jocksniffers blatantly basking in schadenfreude. Fuck, Jenkins even cops to it - Woods snubbed his requests for access and so now he's gloating over the guy's public misfortune. Fucking pathetic.
I get where you are coming from...I really do. But if the people I worked for went out of their way to make sure they made my job as hard as possible I would be thrilled the day they had to not just take a bite of, but eat their whole shit sandwich.
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And, Dan Jenkins drops the motherfucking soup bone: http://www.golfdigest.com/golf-tours-news/2010-02/golf-tiger-jenkins-0218.
I have a hard time imagining Ben Hogan as a cordial interview.
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I get where you are coming from...I really do. But if the people I worked for went out of their way to make sure they made my job as hard as possible I would be thrilled the day they had to not just take a bite of, but eat their whole shit sandwich.
I don't think that denying interview requests is equivalent to being deliberately antagonistic or obfuscatory.
But I definitely find gloating over the misfortune of others, no matter the surrounding situation, an ugly impulse.
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And, Dan Jenkins drops the motherfucking soup bone: http://www.golfdigest.com/golf-tours-news/2010-02/golf-tiger-jenkins-0218.
I stopped at the war hero references in a fucking gossip column. Pathetic.
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I don't think that denying interview requests is equivalent to being deliberately antagonistic or obfuscatory.
But I definitely find gloating over the misfortune of others, no matter the surrounding situation, an ugly impulse.
I agree with your sentiment re: the writer acting like he was personally snubbed by Tiger not opening up a page of his diary over a white wine spritzer. How many people here are their 100% true self at their job and let it all out for your boss and coworkers to judge? Well, multiply the audience by about a couple hundred million. He wanted to present himself in the best light and make himself marketable. Many of us probably don't do anything all that different at our jobs. Do I think that excuses Tiger for being a slimeball? Hell no. But I don't think he should be crucified or judged for not letting America inside his trousers for the last 10 years.
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Do I think that excuses Tiger for being a slimeball? Hell no. But I don't think he should be crucified or judged for not letting America inside his trousers for the last 10 years.
Well, he let half of America inside his trousers.
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Bad things happening when you make bad choices is not "misfortune."
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He wanted to present himself in the best light and make himself marketable. Many of us probably don't do anything all that different at our jobs. Do I think that excuses Tiger for being a slimeball? Hell no. But I don't think he should be crucified or judged for not letting America inside his trousers for the last 10 years.
He made a shitload of money - from the public - by presenting himself in the best possible light. Turns out it was a lie. Gloating about the revelations is ugly, but the backlash is entirely appropriate and entirely reasonable. See also Ota, Toy.
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I think Tiger should start hanging out with guys like Magic Johnson, Charlie Sheen, and Tom Sizemore, that way by contrast, Tiger would seem a little less depraved.
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Jenkins a "wounded jocksniffer?" Interesting. Read him.
I laughed at that one. I guess Bud Shrake was a jock sniffer too.
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I think Tiger should start hanging out with guys like Magic Johnson, Charlie Sheen, and Tom Sizemore, that way by contrast, Tiger would seem a little less depraved.
Sizemore (fully engaged) would made Larry Flynt look well-adjusted.
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I laughed at that one. I guess Bud Shrake was a jock sniffer too.
Texans. I should have known.
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Texans. I should have known.
did you sniff and chortle as you said this?
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did you sniff and chortle as you said this?
Just a rueful shake of the head. Why, do I strike you as a chortler?
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Just a rueful shake of the head. Why, do I strike you as a chortler?
i thought patricians all chortled. i could be wrong.
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i thought patricians all chortled. i could be wrong.
Most likely, he sniffed and adjusted his monocle.
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Most likely, he sniffed and adjusted his monocle.
I think patricians cluck and tut. Anything heartier than a snicker is definitely plebeian.
Reminds me, in case my effete snob bonafides were on the wane I would like to give an enthusiastic recommendation to Monocle Magazine. Two parts travel, one part design, one part entrepreneurship, one part fashion, zero part celebrity fuckwittery... If GQ and Vanity Fair bore you fucking senseless take a look at Monocle.
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I think patricians cluck and tut. Anything heartier than a snicker is definitely plebeian.
Reminds me, in case my effete snob bonafides were on the wane I would like to give an enthusiastic recommendation to Monocle Magazine. Two parts travel, one part design, one part entrepreneurship, one part fashion, zero part celebrity fuckwittery... If GQ and Vanity Fair bore you fucking senseless take a look at Monocle.
what's a tut? i have heard of tit and tat but not tut. unless you meant the King.
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what's a tut? i have heard of tit and tat but not tut. unless you meant the King.
Doubled it is an interjection of mild reproach. Very useful to the patrician who is more reproachful than average.
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I think that a hale fellow well met is the sort that would chortle.
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I think that a hale fellow well met is the sort that would chortle.
I have difficulty seeing Hale Irwin as a chortler.
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Doubled it is an interjection of mild reproach. Very useful to the patrician who is more reproachful than average.
ah, yes. "tut tut, my good man. white shoes in November?"
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... If GQ and Vanity Fair bore you fucking senseless take a look at Monocle.
Huh? It is impossible to be bored by something you spend zero time with. I'd rather poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick than either read or wear a monocle.
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Huh? It is impossible to be bored by something you spend zero time with. I'd rather poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick than either read or wear a monocle.
Wearing a monocle is a great way to avoid poking yourself in the eye with a sharp stick. At least in that eye.
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Wearing a monocle is a great way to avoid poking yourself in the eye with a sharp stick. At least in that eye.
There's a snippet of film of a group of German staff officers after the surrender at Stalingrad that shows one of them wearing a monacle. I've thought of how particularly "welcome" the Soviets may have made his stay in a Siberian work camp.
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ah, yes. "tut tut, my good man. white shoes in November?"
NEVER. A gentleman may wear white shoes - selectively, please - between Memorial Day and Labor Day.
Unless you have retired to Flahrida and wear them with plaid shorts and black socks.
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Huh? It is impossible to be bored by something you spend zero time with. I'd rather poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick than either read or wear a monocle.
You know, seriously, as much as you travel I would think that Monocle would be interesting and useful to you. But I suppose it takes time to catch up on all the back issues of Soldier of Fortune.
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You know, seriously, as much as you travel I would think that Monocle would be interesting and useful to you. But I suppose it takes time to catch up on all the back issues of Soldier of Fortune.
I guess I need a stepladder for that one. ??
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PETA tries to jump on the Tiger attention wagon (http://www.themoneytimes.com/featured/20100226/tiger-woods-sues-peta-ad-campaign-his-sex-scandal-id-10101738.html)
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PETA tries to jump on the Tiger attention wagon (http://www.themoneytimes.com/featured/20100226/tiger-woods-sues-peta-ad-campaign-his-sex-scandal-id-10101738.html)
PETA rarely makes me laugh, but that billboard is classic!
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NEVER. A gentleman may wear white shoes - selectively, please - between Memorial Day and Labor Day.
Unless you have retired to Flahrida and wear them with plaid shorts and black socks.
Where do shockingly loud plaid golf pants fall?
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There's a snippet of film of a group of German staff officers after the surrender at Stalingrad that shows one of them wearing a monacle. I've thought of how particularly "welcome" the Soviets may have made his stay in a Siberian work camp.
The (K)link (http://www.opticianonline.net/blogs/big-optometry-blog/Colonel%20Klink.jpg)
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Where do shockingly loud plaid golf pants fall?
Squarely in the range of the acceptable, at least so long as one is on the golf course. That is why there are changing rooms at any golfing club to which a gentleman might belong. One must not arrive at an apres-golf affair looking as if one has stolen Oscar Wilde's pyjamas.
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http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=4950137
Gatorade drops Tiger after learning his thirst for sex was unquenchable, even with Citrus Cooler.
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http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=4950137
Gatorade drops Tiger after learning his thirst for sex was unquenchable, even with Citrus Cooler.
What's he have left? Just Nike?
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What's he have left? Just Nike?
Yep. And they have a new logo (http://s3.amazonaws.com/twitpic/photos/full/69120402.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0ZRYP5X5F6FSMBCCSE82&Expires=1267225283&Signature=9mbsbDC3HHZTYUTnID29pz1m3KA%3D).
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I just can't wait for Charlie Sheen, Tom Sizemore, Warren Beatty, and WIlt Chamberlain to show up in the next "I am Tiger Woods" commercial.
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What we already knew... (http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/35679437/from/RSS/)
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What we already knew... (http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/35679437/from/RSS/)
CBS executives just simultaneously orgasmed.
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What we already knew... (http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/35679437/from/RSS/)
I actually did a Tiger Woods fist pump when I read that in the elevator this morning.
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I actually did a Tiger Woods fist pump when I read that in the elevator this morning.
What was the lucky lady's name?
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What was the lucky lady's name?
that is funny.
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So glad Tiger is returning to the Masters so now we can all finally move on.
Oh, and this. (http://deadspin.com/5496451/sexting-tiger-threatened-to-slap-spank-bite-and-fuck-till-mercy)
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So glad Tiger is returning to the Masters so now we can all finally move on.
Oh, and this. (http://deadspin.com/5496451/sexting-tiger-threatened-to-slap-spank-bite-and-fuck-till-mercy)
I guess he really loved her after all.
And her, and her, and her, and...
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So glad Tiger is returning to the Masters so now we can all finally move on.
Oh, and this. (http://deadspin.com/5496451/sexting-tiger-threatened-to-slap-spank-bite-and-fuck-till-mercy)
In related news, Sandra Bullock has left her husband after he cheated on her with some porn star that has tattoos over 90% of her body.
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In related news, Sandra Bullock has left her husband after he cheated on her with some porn star that has tattoos over 90% of her body.
I know someone who knows Sandra Bullock...
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I know someone who knows Sandra Bullock...
Tyler Durden told me so.
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Tyler Durden told me so.
wwtdd.com quote of the day:
"According to Forbes, Bullock is worth 85 million dollars, so all this retard James had to do was have sex with Sandra Bullock forever and he’d get to split 85 million dollars. If anyone has ever been this fucking stupid before, the government has kept it under wraps, so as not to embolden our enemies"
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wwtdd.com quote of the day:
"According to Forbes, Bullock is worth 85 million dollars, so all this retard James had to do was have sex with Sandra Bullock forever and he’d get to split 85 million dollars. If anyone has ever been this fucking stupid before, the government has kept it under wraps, so as not to embolden our enemies"
Amen. Any man who had a shot with Sandra Bullock (let along succeeded) and blew it should be ejected from the planet.
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I have heard that Bullock is even more beautiful in person and very nice, to boot. This James fellow doesn't seem to think very well, at least with the big head.
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I'm certain this makes me a 12th level ghey, but I don't find Sandra Bullock even a little bit attractive.
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I used to have a client who was a dead ringer for her, but a couple years older. The client was at the Salt Lick one afternoon, and Bullock stopped in her tracks to tell her that she looked just like her. Client: "No honey, you look like me."
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I'm certain this makes me a 12th level ghey, but I don't find Sandra Bullock even a little bit attractive.
The Oscars botox disaster was the first time I ever didn't.
"A Time to Kill" is underrated from the perspective of both Ashley Judd and Sandra Bullock looking INSANELY hot.
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I'm certain this makes me a 12th level ghey, but I don't find Sandra Bullock even a little bit attractive.
I'm sure Alkie agrees with you.
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The Oscars botox disaster was the first time I ever didn't.
"A Time to Kill" is underrated from the perspective of both Ashley Judd and Sandra Bullock looking INSANELY hot.
Demolition Man. Seriously.
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+1 for Bullock in A Time to Kill (http://www.poster.net/bullock-sandra/bullock-sandra-photo-sandra-bullock-6204158.jpg).
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Demolition Man. Seriously.
Snipes/Stallone steered me clear of that.
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I have heard that Bullock is even more beautiful in person and very nice, to boot. This James fellow doesn't seem to think very well, at least with the big head.
I love this sentence (http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/03/18/2010-03-18_michelle_mcgee_claims_to_have_sexy_texts_as_proof_of_affair_with_sandra_bullocks.html) about James' paramour:
McGee, who was apparently raised Amish, was fired from the Hustler club about two years ago and now strips under the name Avery at a Pure Platinum Club in San Diego, RadarOnline.com reported.
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Ady, one more reason why you're crazy. I thought she was beautiful at the Oscars too. She went out of her way to heap praise on her husband. What an idiot.