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General Discussion => Archive => Game Zone 2009 Archive => Topic started by: BudGirl on August 31, 2009, 04:53:35 pm

Title: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: BudGirl on August 31, 2009, 04:53:35 pm
Bourn CF, Keppinger 2B, Berkman 1B, Lee LF, Tejada SS, Blum 3B, Pence RF, Coste C, Oswalt P
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: sporadic on August 31, 2009, 05:08:09 pm
I got no problems with that lineup...although that statement itself might be damning
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: SaltyParker on August 31, 2009, 05:15:38 pm
I got no problems with that lineup...although that statement itself might be damning
It's a lineup that actually makes sense. I would be curious to know who made it out.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 05:19:42 pm
It's a lineup that actually makes sense. I would be curious to know who made it out.

Both Blum and Boone are with the team now. I'd say its a tossup.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: MusicMan on August 31, 2009, 05:20:46 pm
It's a lineup that actually makes sense.

Fortunately, they waited until mathematically realistically eliminated to roll it out.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 07:23:40 pm
Good news, Astros are on WGN tonight.  Additional good news, I know where the remote control is (and can mute at will...).

Alas didn't mute the 1st inning though...  Announcers note Roy doesn't have a win against the NL Central this year and Berkman is homerless in August (although had a stint on the DL) and only has 1 month in his career where he hasn't homered (July 2008).

0-0 through 1. Cubs with a leadoff his and Berkman with a walk.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: austro on August 31, 2009, 07:28:17 pm
It's not easy to ground into a DP when the runner is in motion, but Hunter is a uniquely talented individual.
Title: Middle 2: HOU 0, CHC 0
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 07:29:26 pm
Miggy leads of T2 with a single to LF.  Blum Ks swinging and Spaz (batting 7th for the first time since opening weekend per McTaggart) hits in to a 6-4-3 DP with Miggy running on the pitch.

Middle 2: HOU 0, CHC 0
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 07:30:04 pm
No Bench tonight, huh?   I guess this means all TheLadies are gone too.   So, whatchoo boys wanna talk about?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: austro on August 31, 2009, 07:31:25 pm
Not dwarves, that's for sure.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 07:35:49 pm
Be that way.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 07:37:34 pm
No Bench tonight, huh?   

Bench at the Texans game tonight (via Twitter: "Kid next to me is wearing a Vikings Favre jersey and a cheesehead. Packers fan dad just shrugged apologetically at me. Parenting fail.")

Quote
So, whatchoo boys wanna talk about?

Women who shave their legs and underarms, Texmex, Astros baseball or anything else you don't see much of in Portland, Oregon... I'm not picky this eve...

Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: austro on August 31, 2009, 07:38:43 pm
Well, that was amusing: drunken female Cubfan stumbles down the stairs, falls on top of other people in the stands, and then gets up and shows the world her ample plumber's crack. Classy.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 07:40:15 pm
I'm glad this game is on WGN for once so I can mute the game and do my Mandarin homework.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 07:40:16 pm
Bench at the Texans game tonight (via Twitter: "Kid next to me is wearing a Vikings Favre jersey and a cheesehead. Packers fan dad just shrugged apologetically at me. Parenting fail.")

I don't know which of the three characters disappoints me most.

Quote
Women who shave their legs and underarms, Texmex, Astros baseball or anything else you don't see much of in Portland, Oregon... I'm not picky this eve...

BatGirl, who shaves her legs and underarms, usually eats nachos at the Astros game. 

So, you're that guy now huh?   Tell me, what makes someone move some place they don't like?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 07:41:22 pm
I'm glad this game is on WGN for once so I can mute the game and do my Mandarin homework.

Find a way to get that into 140 characters, and you're Today's Hero.
Title: T3, 1 out speed on 2B: HOU 1, CHC 0
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 07:41:35 pm
Cubs go down in order B2 (Fuk liner to SS, Fox flied out to deep center, Baker grounds out to Miggy).

End 2: HOU 0, CHC 0.

T3: Coste walks, Roy bunts him over, Bourn smoked one off the ivy in center scoring Coste.  T3, 1 out speed on 2B: HOU 1, CHC 0
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 07:42:04 pm
Find a way to get that into 140 characters, and you're Today's Hero.


Chinese or English character?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 07:42:50 pm
Chinese or English character?

Who, Limey?   Chinese, I guess.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 07:43:41 pm
Wait a fucking second, Matt.   Aren't you my age?   Fuck are you doing learning something?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 07:44:16 pm
So, you're that guy now huh?   Tell me, what makes someone move some place they don't like?

Never claimed not to like, some facets just leave things to be desired...  Plus much better snow skiing here than in Houston.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: believin on August 31, 2009, 07:44:36 pm
I'm glad this game is on WGN for once so I can mute the game and do my Mandarin homework.

You're learning Mandarin?  I am fluent, and am watching the Astros on MLB TV in Shanghai right now.  For real.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 07:45:10 pm
Wait a fucking second, Matt.   Aren't you my age?   Fuck are you doing learning something?

well I'm 28 but spent the years from 18-25 touring and living the band lifestyle so I got a late start on the whole college thing.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 07:45:39 pm
You're learning Mandarin?  I am fluent, and am watching the Astros on MLB TV in Shanghai right now.  For real.

Yes sir, just started a few weeks ago.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: believin on August 31, 2009, 07:47:01 pm
Yes sir, just started a few weeks ago.

Good luck with it.  I've been at it for 17 years, and there is always so much more to learn.  It's fun, though.
Title: T3, 1 out runners at 2B and 3B: HOU 3, CHC 0
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 07:47:24 pm
T3: Coste walks, Roy sac bunts him over. Bourn smoked one off the ivy in center scoring Coste.  T3, 1 out speed on 2B: HOU 1, CHC 0

Kepp walks, Berkman walks, Lee singles to left scoring Bourn and Kepp.

T3, 1 out runners at 2B and 3B: HOU 3, CHC 0
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 07:47:38 pm
Never claimed not to like, some facets just leave things to be desired...  Plus much better snow skiing here than in Houston.

Gotcha.   And "yes."
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 07:48:01 pm
well I'm 28 but spent the years from 18-25 touring and living the band lifestyle so I got a late start on the whole college thing.

28?   Weren't you 28 five years ago?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 07:48:43 pm
Good luck with it.  I've been at it for 17 years, and there is always so much more to learn.  It's fun, though.

So far I know about as much as a 4 year old in China would know but its surprisingly not as hard as I was expecting. That's just learning the "alphabet", pronunciations and pinyin system though.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 07:49:25 pm
28?   Weren't you 28 five years ago?

haha Nope. Five years ago I was a spry 23.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 07:51:14 pm
Oh and FUCK Rich Harden
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Ty in Tampa on August 31, 2009, 07:51:19 pm
Jeezus, man. I know I shouldn't be listening to these Chicago TV clowns but what a couple of fuckwits.
Title: Middle 3: HOU 3, CHC 0
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 07:51:31 pm
T3: Coste walks, Roy sac bunts him over. Bourn smoked one off the ivy in center scoring Coste.  T3, 1 out speed on 2B: HOU 1, CHC 0

Kepp walks, Berkman walks, Lee singles to left scoring Bourn and Kepp. T3, 1 out runners at 2B and 3B: HOU 3, CHC 0

Miggy Ks swinging. 2 outs, runners at 2B and 3B.

Blum: strikes out swinging.

Middle 3: HOU 3, CHC 0
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 07:52:14 pm
ANDY PETTITTE IS THROWING A PERFECT GAME.

I SURE WOULD HATE TO JINX THAT.   BECAUSE I LIKE PETTITTE.

PERFECT.

GAME.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 07:53:05 pm
ANDY PETTITTE IS THROWING A PERFECT GAME.

I SURE WOULD HATE TO JINX THAT.   BECAUSE I LIKE PETTITTE.

PERFECT.

GAME.

Pasadena must very excited about that PERFECT GAME BEING THROWN BY ANDY PETTITTE
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 07:53:05 pm
ANDY PETTITTE IS THROWING A PERFECT GAME.

I SURE WOULD HATE TO JINX THAT.   BECAUSE I LIKE PETTITTE.

PERFECT.

GAME.

AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.   
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Ty in Tampa on August 31, 2009, 07:53:14 pm
ANDY PETTITTE IS THROWING A PERFECT GAME.

I SURE WOULD HATE TO JINX THAT.   BECAUSE I LIKE PETTITTE.

PERFECT.

GAME.

Not any mo-ah!
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 07:53:52 pm
ANDY PETTITTE IS THROWING A NO HITTER.

I imagine Deer Park is even MORE excited about ANDY PETTITTE THROWING A NO HITTER.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 07:54:37 pm
Gotcha.   And "yes."

Then again, I don't live by an MLB exec (though not everyone has given up hope here of having an MLB team (http://www.oregonlive.com/news/index.ssf/2009/08/major_league_baseball_in_portl.html) so I can exists with at least some delusions a while longer...).
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Ty in Tampa on August 31, 2009, 07:54:41 pm
ANDY PETTITTE IS THROWING A NO HITTER.

I imagine Deer Park is even MORE excited about ANDY PETTITTE THROWING A NO HITTER.

Not any mo-ah!
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 07:54:53 pm
ANDY PETTITTE IS THROWING A NO HITTER.

I imagine Deer Park is even MORE excited about ANDY PETTITTE THROWING A NO HITTER.

AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 07:55:21 pm
ANDY PETTITTE IS THROWING A NO HITTER.

I imagine Deer Park is even MORE excited about ANDY PETTITTE THROWING A NO HITTER.

What could be more exciting then living in Deer Park AND SEEING ANDY PETTITTE THROW A NO HITTER? WHAT I ASK?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 07:56:04 pm
ANDY PETTITTE IS THROWING A NO HITTER.

I imagine Deer Park is even MORE excited about ANDY PETTITTE THROWING A NO HITTER.

Worked like a charm...
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 07:56:05 pm
That bingo card looks like shit.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 07:56:49 pm
Then again, I don't live by an MLB exec (though not everyone has given up hope here of having an MLB team (http://www.oregonlive.com/news/index.ssf/2009/08/major_league_baseball_in_portl.html) so I can exists with at least some delusions a while longer...).

Let me tell you something.   It's not as much fun as it sounds.   It's not like we just sit around and he invites players and other execs over so we can chat baseball.   I made a point of telling him I found it interesting what he did, but if we never talked baseball, that was fine with me.   I imagine it must be as fun for him as someone (in theory) asking me for my strong opinion on current securities regulation after hours.   I'm lucky that way.
Title: End 3: HOU 3, FTC 0
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 07:57:23 pm
FTCs go down in order B3. 

End 3: HOU 3, FTC 0
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 07:57:42 pm
What could be more exciting then living in Deer Park AND SEEING ANDY PETTITTE THROW A NO HITTER? WHAT I ASK?

Tell me that isn't sick on some level.

You and I broke up the PG and NH, both to the batter.

ETA:  Oh, and fuck Andy Pettitte.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:00:10 pm
Tell me that isn't sick on some level.

You and I broke up the PG and NH, both to the batter.

Sick is what I enjoy.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:01:28 pm
How many deer are there in Deer Park? I don't remember ever seeing any there.  Is it like Seal Beach where there's no fucking animals its named after because they all died off thanks to human encroachment?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:02:15 pm
Sick is what I enjoy.

So wait, I thought you were the Matt that played in the first Austin/Houston AC Softball game.   No?

You were at least my age.  Possibly older.   You reunited me with my father.   Got my show put back on the air.   All the recent events of my life revolved around you in some way.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:03:37 pm
How many deer are there in Deer Park? I don't remember ever seeing any there.  Is it like Seal Beach where there's no fucking animals its named after because they all died off thanks to human encroachment?

Man are you presumptuous.   What makes you think just because they spelled it d-e-e-r that they meant the animal?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:03:45 pm
So wait, I thought you were the Matt that played in the first Austin/Houston AC Softball game.   No?

You were at least my age.  Possibly older.   You reunited me with my father.   Got my show put back on the air.   All the recent events of my life revolved around you in some way.

Nope not the same. I haven't resided in Houston in 7 years and haven't visited in 3 years.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:04:27 pm
Nope not the same. I haven't resided in Houston in 7 years and haven't visited in 3 years.

Well, the softball game was back in 2001. 
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:04:44 pm
Man are you presumptuous.   What makes you think just because they spelled it d-e-e-r that they meant the animal?

Well I suppose Seal Beach could have been named after the singer but Deer Park is pretty literal in its meaning.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: believin on August 31, 2009, 08:05:15 pm
So far I know about as much as a 4 year old in China would know but its surprisingly not as hard as I was expecting. That's just learning the "alphabet", pronunciations and pinyin system though.

As much as a 4 year old?  That's pretty good, actually.

Make sure and give good attention to this part, the pronunciation and pinyin, etc.  It is really important to have a good foundation.  When I speak to someone on the phone, they don't know I am not Chinese, all because I was DRILLED on this stuff by my first teacher.

Here's one for you:  baseball = bang4 qiu2
(numbers standing for tones)
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:05:24 pm
Well, the softball game was back in 2001. 

No I wish I could go to one of those.  I believe I discovered this lovely corner of the internet after moving to California.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:06:12 pm
Well I suppose Seal Beach could have been named after the singer but Deer Park is pretty literal in its meaning.

Same reason the city in Texas is called Odessa or the giant ice landmass is called Greenland.

To fuck people into thinking there's something positive about those places.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:07:33 pm
No I wish I could go to one of those.  I believe I discovered this lovely corner of the internet after moving to California.

So I don't actually know you at all and have been sharing all my life's secrets with you lo these many years for no reason.

Imposter.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:08:16 pm
As much as a 4 year old?  That's pretty good, actually.

Make sure and give good attention to this part, the pronunciation and pinyin, etc.  It is really important to have a good foundation.  When I speak to someone on the phone, they don't know I am not Chinese, all because I was DRILLED on this stuff by my first teacher.

Here's one for you:  baseball = bang4 qiu2
(numbers standing for tones)

So far I've been pretty saturated with the language in class and plenty of lessons outside of class.  Even turn on the local Chinese channel just to hear the words being said.  We haven't really put it together to learn words or start conversations yet.  Just learned the tones recently.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:08:49 pm
So we were going to talk about man stuff since Bench's  Harem was off for the night.

You guys all shave your anus, right?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:09:00 pm
So I don't actually know you at all and have been sharing all my life's secrets with you lo these many years for no reason.

Imposter.

haha I just thought you were that open and cordial to everyone.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:09:35 pm
So we were going to talk about man stuff since Bench's  Harem was off for the night.

You guys all shave your anus, right?

Constantly.
Title: Middle 4: HOU 3, FTC 0
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 08:09:45 pm
T4: Harden on the hill.

Spaz: walks on 3-2 pitch (Harden ties season high w/ 5 walks). 0 out, runner at 1B.
Coste: (Spaz caught stealing) on 3-2 pitch. 1 out, runner at 1B.
Roy: strikes out on foul bunt while attempting to sac Coste over. 2 outs, runner on 1B.
Bourn: shoots one towards the gap in left center but fuk with a nice running backhand catch to end the inning.

And with that Coop tells me I've exceeded my GZ post count for the eve and he's signaling for the pen.  Gameday to take over from here on out.

Middle 4: HOU 3, FTC 0
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:10:16 pm
Manly things eh? Like making our own beef jerky and pussy?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:11:48 pm
Manly things eh? Like making our own beef jerky and pussy?

You make your own pussy?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:12:16 pm
You make your own pussy?


Yep! And it's not as hard as you'd think!
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:12:37 pm
Yep! And it's not as hard as you'd think!

Bullshit.  I was in a band once too, pal.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 08:13:00 pm
So we were going to talk about man stuff since Bench's  Harem was off for the night.

You guys all shave your anus, right?

Hell no. Wear a sign on my ass that says don't shave and don't wipe.  It's not safe in this town otherwise...
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:13:52 pm
Bullshit.  I was in a band once too, pal.

Then you know all about it.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:14:18 pm
Hell no. Wear a sign on my ass that says don't shave and don't wipe.  It's not safe in this town otherwise...

Ooh, I have a great idea for making you hoTTT in Oregon.   Assdreads. 

For some reason, I bet that's already taken.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: believin on August 31, 2009, 08:14:32 pm
So we were going to talk about man stuff since Bench's  Harem was off for the night.

You guys all shave your anus, right?

I am a woman.  
And, no.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 08:16:07 pm
Ooh, I have a great idea for making you hoTTT in Oregon.   Assdreads. 

For some reason, I bet that's already taken.

If not I could market the shit out of that...
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:16:23 pm
Berkman needs to go yard.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:16:49 pm
As he pops up to shallow left field.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:17:20 pm
I'll take one from Carlos though! FUCK THE CUBS!
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 08:17:51 pm
And Carlos with a 2-run no doubter...  FTC.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:19:15 pm
Miggy you don't have to swing the bat on every pitch.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:20:56 pm
Then you know all about it.

Worst job I ever had was the first time I dropped out of UT to start a business.  After the business failed miserably, I had to move back to El Paso for a year to work at the family furniture store, pull my head out my ass, and go back to college.   When I did that and did a semester at UTEP, I had to take a job telemarketing at West.  For those of you not from El Paso, if you have no skills, you can do one of two jobs, telemarketer or city council.   I took the job at West.

Anyway, first 3 weeks were training.  One of the chicks in our training class was this army wife from Kansas.   She was EXACTLY the stereotypical army wife from Kansas you'd imagine.  Blonde, blue eyed, pale, looked like she had just gotten out of church on Sunday....in 1942.   Boring hair cut, boring clothes, never said a word.   Barely even smiled and never hung out with us during breaks. 

So, anyhow, it's the last day of the 3 week training class and the fucking "teacher" (some child molester who couldn't make it selling used cars) makes everyone in the class tell a joke to loosen us up for the "final exam." 

It comes around to Mary's turn.   Of course, we're all expecting some joke about bumble bees or the sort of joke a 6 year old tells you.

Mary stands up and says:
Ok, what's the difference between mashed potatoes and pussy?
Pussy makes its own gravy.

You totally had to be there, but it was the single best 3-week-long setup to a punchline in the history of comedy.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:21:35 pm
I am a woman.  
And, no.

They don't do that yet in China?

Trust me, it'll get there.   You could start now and be way ahead of the curve.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:25:02 pm
If not I could market the shit out of that...

It'll be fuckin' huge.   Take it to Eugene, you'll make a fortune.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:25:13 pm

Mary stands up and says:
Ok, what's the difference between mashed potatoes and pussy?
Pussy makes its own gravy.

You totally had to be there, but it was the single best 3-week-long setup to a punchline in the history of comedy.

Makes you wonder what that Kansas Army wife was into.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: believin on August 31, 2009, 08:26:21 pm
They don't do that yet in China?

Trust me, it'll get there.   You could start now and be way ahead of the curve.

Most such things get to Shanghai very quickly.  It's always difficult to be ahead of the curve here.
However, considering the hair growth patterns of your average Chinese, this one might take some time to catch on.  I've seen grown men who could do their shaving for the whole week on Monday morning.  Using nothing but a pair of coins.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Matt on August 31, 2009, 08:27:17 pm
Alright I gotta go learn me some Mandarin. I still predict a Berkman homer.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:27:22 pm
Makes you wonder what that Kansas Army wife was into.

It would have, but it all came crashing down on me in that one second.

I was 19 at the time, and I think it was the first time I realized that if you wanted to find the wildcat who was willing to let you flip her over and play her B-side, look for the Baptist in the corner with the 1942 haircut.   And hope she's a chick.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:28:09 pm
Most such things get to Shanghai very quickly.  It's always difficult to be ahead of the curve here.
However, considering the hair growth patterns of your average Chinese, this one might take some time to catch on.  I've seen grown men who could do their shaving for the whole week on Monday morning.  Using nothing but a pair of coins.

They show you how the three clamshells work yet?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: believin on August 31, 2009, 08:30:18 pm
They show you how the three clamshells work yet?

Oh, you'd be surprised what you can see on the streets of Shanghai.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: BudGirl on August 31, 2009, 08:34:21 pm
Women who shave their legs and underarms, Texmex, Astros baseball or anything else you don't see much of in Portland, Oregon... I'm not picky this eve...



Well, I showed you one Sunday that shaved her legs and underarms.  Want to talk about her.

And Alkie, don't be jealous of Bench.  He's just great.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: chuck on August 31, 2009, 08:36:38 pm
It's far more fashionable these days to bleach your anus hair. Jeez. You'd think that someone living in NEW YORK CITY would know that.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: BudGirl on August 31, 2009, 08:37:18 pm
No I wish I could go to one of those.  I believe I discovered this lovely corner of the internet after moving to California.

Too bad you aren't that Matt.  I remember him, he was hot.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:43:18 pm
It's far more fashionable these days to bleach your anus hair. Jeez. You'd think that someone living in NEW YORK CITY would know that.

No one bleaches they ass anymore.   That's so 2002.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Mr. Happy on August 31, 2009, 08:48:48 pm
Great catch by SBB
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:53:01 pm
Great catch by SBB

Oh god, even the men are using this now?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: chuck on August 31, 2009, 08:53:45 pm
No one bleaches they ass anymore.   That's so 2002.

It's called fashion. It's cyclical. Lucky for you that Members Only jacket you always wear will surely come back into style at some point, too.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Ron Brand on August 31, 2009, 08:55:20 pm
No one bleaches they ass anymore.   That's so 2002.

No dude, just the hair. It's like highlights. Only more on the low side.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:58:49 pm
It's called fashion. It's cyclical. Lucky for you that Members Only jacket you always wear will surely come back into style at some point, too.

My Members Only jacket never went out of style.

I am maxin' and relaxin' in this bad boy as we speak.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 08:59:31 pm
No dude, just the hair.

Oh shit.  Julio down at the salon fuckin' lied to me.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Ron Brand on August 31, 2009, 09:00:18 pm
Oh shit.  Julio down at the salon fuckin' lied to me.

You need to cut that bitch.

I conk mine. Check it out.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: BudGirl on August 31, 2009, 09:00:55 pm
A sad thing is that I have a friend that still wears one.  He got stuck in the 80s.  Nothing we say seems to help get him into the 21st century.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Ron Brand on August 31, 2009, 09:02:02 pm
A sad thing is that I have a friend that still wears one.  He got stuck in the 80s.  Nothing we say seems to help get him into the 21st century.


Does he still pop the collars on his Izods?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 09:02:30 pm
I conk mine. Check it out.

I don't have a motherfucking clue what you just said, but if you're asking me to check out you anushairs, you're going to have to at least offer me dinner or a movie or Cardinals tickets.  Or to cook me TexMex on your stove.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: BudGirl on August 31, 2009, 09:04:56 pm
Does he still pop the collars on his Izods?

no, i don't think he was ever that cool.

he's had a bunch of girls tell him that he needs to change his hair style but he won't do it.  He gets mad if you get him wet.  I have a theory about him being in a closet and not even knowing it.

He's a nice guy though.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 09:06:00 pm
I have a theory about him being in a closet and not even knowing it.
He's a nice guy though.

Wait, he's gay AND nice?   This is crazy talk.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: MusicMan on August 31, 2009, 09:06:05 pm
For those of you that were curious:

The Texans will still suck this year.

And ESPN producers:Brett Favre::Tween girls:Jonas Brothers.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Ron Brand on August 31, 2009, 09:07:18 pm
I don't have a motherfucking clue what you just said, but if you're asking me to check out you anushairs, you're going to have to at least offer me dinner or a movie or Cardinals tickets.  Or to cook me TexMex on your stove.

You've never heard of a conk? Congolene? A $50 process?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Mr. Happy on August 31, 2009, 09:07:33 pm
Ozwalt got through the seventh unscathed. Mon Dieu!
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Ron Brand on August 31, 2009, 09:08:53 pm
Ozwalt got through the seventh unscathed. Mon Dieu!

Despite the frenzied screams of the jackasses in the stands every time the ball hit the bat.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: BudGirl on August 31, 2009, 09:09:01 pm
Wait, he's gay AND nice?   This is crazy talk.

There has been no confirmation of him being gay.  I think he is.  Just has too many Madonna CDs for me to be comfortable with him liking chicks.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: BudGirl on August 31, 2009, 09:10:07 pm
Despite the frenzied screams of the jackasses in the stands every time the ball hit the bat.

You'd think they were in Houston because there are a lot of people there that do that.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: MusicMan on August 31, 2009, 09:11:30 pm
It's official: Brett Favre is a complete fucking asshole.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: MusicMan on August 31, 2009, 09:12:13 pm
Brian McTaggart, you're no Footer:

Quote
Oswalt pitched very well tonight. No matter what Wandy does, Oswalt is still the ace.
- via Twitter
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 09:12:23 pm
And ESPN producers:Brett Favre::Tween girls:Jonas Brothers.

This of course, reminds me of this:
http://www.theonion.com/content/magazine/the_jonas_brothers_we_find_out

Which of course, reminds me of this:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/42136
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Mr. Happy on August 31, 2009, 09:12:34 pm
It's official: Brett Favre is a complete fucking asshole.

You're a little late with that news.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Mr. Happy on August 31, 2009, 09:15:33 pm
In comes LaTroy.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: chuck on August 31, 2009, 09:17:55 pm
There has been no confirmation of him being gay.  I think he is.  Just has too many Madonna CDs for me to be comfortable with him liking chicks.

Does he pose with food? Look at his Facebook page and if there are any pictures of him smiling with a cake or a plate of uneaten food he is as gay as a picnic basket.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Mr. Happy on August 31, 2009, 09:19:56 pm
Shitfuck. LaTroy. Don't melt down.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: MusicMan on August 31, 2009, 09:20:10 pm
You're a little late with that news.

I was specifically referring to him going after Wilson's knees with a crackback block.  In a fucking PRESEASON game.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Mr. Happy on August 31, 2009, 09:21:03 pm
I was specifically referring to him going after Wilson's knees with a crackback block.  In a fucking PRESEASON game.

Brett only knows how to play one way.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: BudGirl on August 31, 2009, 09:22:12 pm
Does he pose with food? Look at his Facebook page and if there are any pictures of him smiling with a cake or a plate of uneaten food he is as gay as a picnic basket.

No, I don't think he has any pictures like that, but I'll have to double check.  He does not like for anyone to say his age.  He gets very upset about that.  Worse than any woman I know.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 09:22:45 pm
No, I don't think he has any pictures like that, but I'll have to double check.  He does not like for anyone to say his age.  He gets very upset about that.  Worse than any woman I know.

Gay.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Ron Brand on August 31, 2009, 09:24:35 pm
Gay.

Really. Any more proof you would need is proof you'd rather not see.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 09:25:09 pm
Nice backhanded catch there by Miggy in the FTC 'bullpen' to end the 8th.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: BudGirl on August 31, 2009, 09:25:49 pm
He has traveled by himself to go see Madonna in concert.  That is what was my confirmation.

Plus, he doesn't drink beer.  I've only seen him drink margarita's.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: MusicMan on August 31, 2009, 09:26:38 pm
He has traveled by himself to go see Madonna in concert.  That is what was my confirmation.

Plus, he doesn't drink beer.  I've only seen him drink margarita's.

So you've basically witnessed everything except another man fucking him?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: BudGirl on August 31, 2009, 09:28:19 pm
So you've basically witnessed everything except another man fucking him?

Yeah, pretty mcuh.  A group of us went out dancing one night and a guy offered to buy him a drink.  The guy didn't offer to buy any of us girls a drink. 
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: austro on August 31, 2009, 09:28:32 pm
I was specifically referring to him going after Wilson's knees with a crackback block.  In a fucking PRESEASON game.

How about that first-half call for hitting Favre low (it was third-and-whatever after the Schaub interception)? There will be a game or two this year that turns on a chickenshit call like that. I just hope it happens to a New York team.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: chuck on August 31, 2009, 09:28:46 pm
Really. Any more proof you would need is proof you'd rather not see.

Any more poof? What?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Ron Brand on August 31, 2009, 09:30:42 pm
Any more poof? What?

Nancy boy.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: MusicMan on August 31, 2009, 09:31:25 pm
How about that first-half call for hitting Favre low (it was third-and-whatever after the Schaub interception)? There will be a game or two this year that turns on a chickenshit call like that. I just hope it happens to a New York team.

Actually, I think that's a new rule this year as a result of Jared Allen taking out Schaub's knee.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: chuck on August 31, 2009, 09:33:12 pm
Nancy boy.

He starts in on those Margaritas and really goes on a bender.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Mr. Happy on August 31, 2009, 09:36:44 pm
Anyone watching this classic FTC on the tele?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 09:37:30 pm
Anyone watching this classic FTC on the tele?

Yup, WGN though.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: BudGirl on August 31, 2009, 09:37:31 pm
bottom of the 9th, two outs,valverde pitching to koyie hill
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: BudGirl on August 31, 2009, 09:38:03 pm
SBB is fucking amazing.  I love that kid.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 09:38:04 pm
Announcers note Roy doesn't have a win against the NL Central this year

Thanks Cub announcers!
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Mr. Happy on August 31, 2009, 09:38:40 pm
Yup, WGN though.

You should have seen the one on FSH!!! What a douche!
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: austro on August 31, 2009, 09:39:02 pm
Actually, I think that's a new rule this year as a result of Jared Allen taking out Schaub's knee.

Yes, it's new (I imagine the Palmer and Brady injuries also contributed). But Favre got hit above the knees; it's not like the D-guy was crawling in on hands and knees. I just fear that this will be yet another rule that gets enforced inconsistently.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: BudGirl on August 31, 2009, 09:39:04 pm
You should have seen the one on FSH!!! What a douche!

he was funny.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: OregonStrosFan on August 31, 2009, 09:39:10 pm
Papa Grande strikes out the first two he faces in the ninth and Bourn with a diving catch to end the inning.  Roy wins his first against the NL Central this year.

Oh yeah, FTC!
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Ron Brand on August 31, 2009, 09:39:26 pm
Anyone watching this classic FTC on the tele?

FSH is what I'm getting, so I missed the woman falling but we've been treated to a real Hall of Mutants in the stands.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: chuck on August 31, 2009, 09:39:26 pm
SBB is fucking amazing.  I love that kid.

In this context I've finally figured out who/what the fuck SBB is.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: BudGirl on August 31, 2009, 09:40:19 pm
In this context I've finally figured out who/what the fuck SBB is.

sweet baby bourn.  imagine my pleasure at reading GBB use it in a game recap.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Alkie on August 31, 2009, 09:40:30 pm
In this context I've finally figured out who/what the fuck SBB is.

Does it make you gag too?
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: Jose Cruz III on August 31, 2009, 09:41:51 pm
In this context I've finally figured out who/what the fuck SBB is.
Well clue the rest of us in.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: chuck on August 31, 2009, 09:43:27 pm
Alkie: Yes.

Cheo3: I refuse to type it but look at the top of this page.
Title: Re: Astros @Cubs, 8-31-09
Post by: JimR on September 01, 2009, 09:05:05 am
Does it make you gag too?

i think it is oh, so cute.