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General Discussion => Talk Zone => Topic started by: Bench on July 27, 2009, 02:51:03 pm

Title: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: Bench on July 27, 2009, 02:51:03 pm
Hat Fail (http://www.maniacworld.com/hat-fail.html)

FTC
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: Duke on July 27, 2009, 02:54:35 pm
But he looks sooooo kewl.   

FTC
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: OregonStrosFan on July 27, 2009, 03:52:06 pm
Helpful cap lesson for the youngsters (http://www.flipflopflyin.com/flipflopflyball/info-stickerremoval.html).
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: BudGirl on July 27, 2009, 03:58:32 pm
As one kid at work told me, he left that sticker on so the bill wouldn't get dirty.  I smiled and shook my head at him.  Kids.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: HudsonHawk on July 28, 2009, 07:40:33 am
Holy crap, is the guy sitting next to him holding a glove really wearing pinstriped pants?  Does he think he might get in the game?
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: Col. Sphinx Drummond on July 28, 2009, 07:49:26 am
Holy crap, is the guy sitting next to him holding a glove really wearing pinstriped pants?  Does he think he might get in the game?
Yes. He always has his dream.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: Tralfaz on July 28, 2009, 08:01:15 am
Soriano is a tool and needs one in the ear hole tonight.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: JimR on July 28, 2009, 08:02:15 am
Soriano is a tool and needs one in the ear hole tonight.

bullshit. hit Sampson if you want to exact revenge for getting beat.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: homer on July 28, 2009, 08:17:38 am
bullshit. hit Sampson if you want to exact revenge for getting beat.

Did you see Soriano point into the Astros dugout after he hit the ball? Did you see him waving 4 fingers in the direction of either other players or the umpires (or both) as he rounded the bases?
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: Tralfaz on July 28, 2009, 08:25:31 am
bullshit. hit Sampson if you want to exact revenge for getting beat.

Not for the home run, for the pointing and posing.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: BudGirl on July 28, 2009, 08:30:07 am
Did you see Soriano point into the Astros dugout after he hit the ball? Did you see him waving 4 fingers in the direction of either other players or the umpires (or both) as he rounded the bases?

I didn't because I changed the channel.  He's an asshat.  I'd rather the Astros give him an o-fer and wave at him the number of times he makes an out.

But, if I ever saw him on the street, I'd run up to him, start yelling for help and knee him in the groin then run away.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: Reuben on July 28, 2009, 08:31:34 am
I didn't because I changed the channel.  He's an asshat.  I'd rather the Astros give him an o-fer and wave at him the number of times he makes an out.

But, if I ever saw him on the street, I'd run up to him, start yelling for help and knee him in the groin then run away.
Hope you can run faster than he can hop.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: Ty in Tampa on July 28, 2009, 08:50:04 am
The pointing and waving just shows everyone what a cocksucker he is. It will come back to bite him and them in the ass without having to throw at him.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: jeffrey on July 28, 2009, 08:54:09 am
Not for the home run, for the pointing and posing.

Looked to me like the pointing, at least, was to his family sitting by the Astros on-deck circle.  He went right over to them after he was done celebrating at home plate.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: Tralfaz on July 28, 2009, 09:25:44 am
Looked to me like the pointing, at least, was to his family sitting by the Astros on-deck circle.  He went right over to them after he was done celebrating at home plate.

Or maybe it was a tribute to Michael Jackson and I missed the moonwalk across home plate. 
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: Guinness on July 28, 2009, 09:28:03 am
Looked to me like the pointing, at least, was to his family sitting by the Astros on-deck circle.  He went right over to them after he was done celebrating at home plate.

Be that as it may, one, he had to know how it would have been perceived, and two, he's a fucking grown up major league ball player making millions of dollars, it's not fucking little league where he waves to mommy and daddy becuase he got a hit.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: MusicMan on July 28, 2009, 09:29:27 am
The pointing and waving just shows everyone what a cocksucker he is. It will come back to bite him and them in the ass without having to throw at him.

The Cubs uniform shows everyone what a cocksucker he is.  The pointing and waving shows that he is an even bigger cocksucker.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: chuck on July 28, 2009, 09:57:05 am
We can play a game of What Would Jeff Bagwell Do and I think we all know how that game would end. Soriano is not Jeff Bagwell and Chris Sampson was not effective. End of story. For me, anyway.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: Gizzmonic on July 28, 2009, 11:00:49 am
The Cubs uniform shows everyone what a cocksucker he is.  The pointing and waving shows that he is an even bigger cocksucker.

I can't think of any current player I like less.  Hits like a 5-6 hitter, but "doesn't feel comfortable" batting anywhere but leadoff.  Fields like shit, but up until very recently considered himself a shortstop/2B and refused to play the outfield.  Does the stupid hopping thing on every catch.  Hot dogs all the time, sloppy baserunner, the list goes on and on.  I'm so glad he's not an Astro, that guy is a fucking toolshed.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: JimR on July 28, 2009, 11:03:06 am
I can't think of any current player I like less.  Hits like a 5-6 hitter, but "doesn't feel comfortable" batting anywhere but leadoff.  Fields like shit, but up until very recently considered himself a shortstop/2B and refused to play the outfield.  Does the stupid hopping thing on every catch.  Hot dogs all the time, sloppy baserunner, the list goes on and on.  I'm so glad he's not an Astro, that guy is a fucking toolshed.

iirc, only Mo Alou's veto of the trade kept Lilly and Soriano from being Astros.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: Taras Bulba on July 28, 2009, 11:28:22 am
iirc, only Mo Alou's veto of the trade kept Lilly and Soriano from being Astros.

Thinking that same thought last night.  Time flies.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: JackAstro on July 28, 2009, 11:32:38 am
I can't think of any current player I like less.  Hits like a 5-6 hitter, but "doesn't feel comfortable" batting anywhere but leadoff.  Fields like shit, but up until very recently considered himself a shortstop/2B and refused to play the outfield.  Does the stupid hopping thing on every catch.  Hot dogs all the time, sloppy baserunner, the list goes on and on.  I'm so glad he's not an Astro, that guy is a fucking toolshed.

This is all true. However, as far as last night goes, he hit a walk-off grand slam to win in extras. He can point at his family, do a fucking cartwheel, I don't give a shit. I think he's a showboating fuckhead, too, but the game's over. People celebrate. We all know very well that the rest of the league doesn't find Valverde too endearing when he launches into histrionics every time he seals a game, so you just have to shrug when the other guy spazzes out at your expense.

As for the hopping, well... he put himself on the DL doing it, so that's pretty good karmic retribution.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: Mr. Happy on July 28, 2009, 11:34:19 am
Look. Soriano celebrated a bit too much last night, but that is no reason to dust him off today. Let it go. It was a very fine ball game. We lost. There's another game today.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: JimR on July 28, 2009, 11:49:02 am
This is all true. However, as far as last night goes, he hit a walk-off grand slam to win in extras. He can point at his family, do a fucking cartwheel, I don't give a shit. I think he's a showboating fuckhead, too, but the game's over. People celebrate. We all know very well that the rest of the league doesn't find Valverde too endearing when he launches into histrionics every time he seals a game, so you just have to shrug when the other guy spazzes out at your expense.

As for the hopping, well... he put himself on the DL doing it, so that's pretty good karmic retribution.

excellent and true. Valverde celebrates much more than on the final out. difference is, he's our show-boating asshole.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: Limey on July 28, 2009, 12:42:12 pm
excellent and true. Valverde celebrates much more than on the final out. difference is, he's our show-boating asshole.

"That's Landfill.  He was a fat asshole.  But he was my fat asshole..."
 - Fink
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: Gizzmonic on July 28, 2009, 12:44:21 pm
This is all true. However, as far as last night goes, he hit a walk-off grand slam to win in extras. He can point at his family, do a fucking cartwheel, I don't give a shit. I think he's a showboating fuckhead, too, but the game's over. People celebrate. We all know very well that the rest of the league doesn't find Valverde too endearing when he launches into histrionics every time he seals a game, so you just have to shrug when the other guy spazzes out at your expense.

As for the hopping, well... he put himself on the DL doing it, so that's pretty good karmic retribution.

Yeah, I'm not really that turned off about last night...I'm just saying that overall, Soriano is probably my least favorite player in the majors due to the irritating confluence of talent, diva-ness, sloppy play, and showboating.  I'm not particularly upset about last night, and even if I was, his antics would be way down on the list of things to be upset about.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: gleach on July 28, 2009, 12:53:46 pm
"That's Landfill.  He was a fat asshole.  But he was my fat asshole..."
 - Fink

YTIFY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWaqclsdV2Q
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: BUWebguy on July 29, 2009, 11:39:00 am
iirc, only Mo Alou's veto of the trade kept Lilly and Soriano from being Astros.

What year was that? Perhaps being around Bagwell/Biggio would have toned him down some. His loss.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: Noe on July 29, 2009, 11:58:41 am
What year was that? Perhaps being around Bagwell/Biggio would have toned him down some. His loss.

2000.  The Year of Our Hidalgo.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: strosrays on July 29, 2009, 12:54:16 pm
Yeah, I'm not really that turned off about last night...I'm just saying that overall, Soriano is probably my least favorite player in the majors due to the irritating confluence of talent, diva-ness, sloppy play, and showboating.  I'm not particularly upset about last night, and even if I was, his antics would be way down on the list of things to be upset about.

What is funny to me is that when the Cubs collapse this year in August or early September, an event as inevitable as the autumn equinox. . . hell, for all I know, tracking the Cubs' yearly descent was the real reason Stonehenge was constructed - the inner circle of huge sarsen stones represented the Cubs opponents, the wooden poles outside the circle were the Cubs, relatively weak and always on the outisde looking in. . .

Anyway, when the fall comes for the Cubs this year like every year, the reasons given will start with blaming superficial but literal culprits - management is distant, Piniella is an idiot, etc. - but will eventually devolve to the supernatural: cursed baseballs, curses by goats, and so on.  The Cub fans, players, reporters and everyone else will buy just about any patently ridiculous superstitious conclusion to explain their yearly nosedive; but I'd be surprised if even one of those dumb motherfuckers mentions a real life metaphysical transgression like Soriano's the other night, even though it happened right in front of them.  Hell, they probably think it is great Soriano makes an ass of himself and hops around at the other team's expense.  They thought it was great when Slammy did it, too.  But hey, you dumbfucks, you wanna know why your team falls apart like a Chinese swingset every Indian summer?  Here's a hint:  It ain't because of a fucking goat!

You know, about forty years ago around this time, in the summer of 1969, the Cubs were on a historic run, miles ahead of everyone in the NL East.  They had the beloved "Mr. Cub" playing 1B for them, and a lovable 3B, Ron Santo, who fell into the habit of jumping up into the air after each Cub win that summer, and clicking the heels of his spikes.  It is not recorded how opponents felt about this little celebration, but I can guess.  And, even though it seems pretty innocent by today's Sorianoan standards, you can bet the BBGs noticed it, too.  Don't think so?  If you want to study a classic collapse, go back and research how the Cubs suddenly fell apart and fell before the onrushing upstart "Amazing" Mets that fall.  It was a drama of Shakespearean breadth and depth.  Still don't believe?  OK.  Next time you see Ron Santo, ask him to jump up into the air and click his heels for you.

You don't fuck with the karma, baby, and you don't fuck with the BBGs.  The Cubs will never learn that, which is just as well.
Title: Re: Typical Cubs fan.
Post by: Andyzipp on July 29, 2009, 12:58:07 pm
Next time you see Ron Santo, ask him to jump up into the air and click his heels for you.



WOW.  That is definitely the most awesome thing I'm going to read today.