OrangeWhoopass.com Forums
General Discussion => Beer and Queso => Topic started by: Alkie on May 28, 2009, 09:57:06 am
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This is definitely weirder than I imagined.
Today is my 33rd birthday. Who cares? It should be illegal for anyone over the age of 21 to celebrate the anniversary of their birth. I'm serious.
But today is special. Today, I end my 33 years as a continuous Texan. 80% of the people in Texas were born here. More than any other state. It's a great place that I swore I'd never leave. The Q. The beer. The women. The weather. The open spaces. The rivers. The women. The sports. The people. The Mexican food. The women. The lack of state income tax. The ease of running my business. And of course, this silly ass site; where I spent 10 of my 33 years, almost exclusively.
So, it is quite bittersweet that I end my citizenship in 3 hours here. I'm so excited about our new digs in NYC, I could plotz. But I'm gonna miss this state like you wouldn't believe.
In 3 hours, we'll get in a car and head for the Loosianur border. I may get out in Orange and cry (not because we're leaving Texas....have you BEEN to Orange??).
So peace and kissykisses and whatnot to everyone here in Texas. The eyes of Texas will be upon me, but for at least the next three years, the hands of New York will be in my bank account.
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Check in from time to time and give us a status report on The Mole.
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you'll always be a Texan. good luck, and be safe.
edited to prevent any more wiseass comments.
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you'll always be a Texas. good luck, and be safe.
Wow. I mean, we've all put on a few pounds since the original AA days, but I'd say Alkie is more of a Rhode Island, maybe a Connecticut at the very worst.
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Wow. I mean, we've all put on a few pounds since the original AA days, but I'd say Alkie is more of a Rhode Island, maybe a Connecticut at the very worst.
At least you didn't call him a New Jersey.
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Wow. I mean, we've all put on a few pounds since the original AA days, but I'd say Alkie is more of a Rhode Island, maybe a Connecticut at the very worst.
Really more of a Puerto Rico. Have you seen his hair?
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Wow. I mean, we've all put on a few pounds since the original AA days, but I'd say Alkie is more of a Rhode Island, maybe a Connecticut at the very worst.
You clearly haven't seen me in years.
I'm easily a Texas, perhaps an Aleutian-lessAlaska.
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Please, nobody reference "hung like Florida."
Good luck, Alkie! Go pee on Shae for us all.
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Good thing about that internet thingy is that it works fine from NEW YORK CITY. New York City....get a rope.
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"Shane, come back Shane... SHANE!"
Peace, prosperity, happiness and all good things are my wishes for you, my maign.
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I thought I'd never leave Texas either, 21 years ago. Good luck in NY.
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Go pee on Shae for us all.
Just make sure he's not bigger than you.
Good luck, Alkie. No hurricanes up there to knock down your trees.
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I thought I'd never leave Texas either, 21 years ago. Good luck in NY.
Left for Virginia for approx 3 years. Busted my ass getting back. You will be craving Whatabuger in less than a month, guaranteed.
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Left for Virginia for approx 3 years. Busted my ass getting back. You will be craving Whatabuger in less than a month, guaranteed.
You can always use the B&Q as the place to post an SOS for care packages. I'm sure the first signal flare will be about salsa picante, verde and habinero.
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You can always use the B&Q as the place to post an SOS for care packages. I'm sure the first signal flare will be about salsa picante, verde and habinero.
Easy.
A fellow El Pasoan who is a food critic for the Post up there was telling me to get my hopes down now. The Mex in NYC sucks.
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Easy.
A fellow El Pasoan who is a food critic for the Post up there was telling me to get my hopes down now. The Mex in NYC sucks.
You needed a food critic to tell you that??
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You needed a food critic to tell you that??
No, she just happens to be one and happened to mention that.
I kinda already figured.
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Just make sure he's not bigger than you.
Good luck, Alkie. No hurricanes up there to knock down your trees.
No trees to knock down, so we're even. Many thanks again, man.
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Easy.
A fellow El Pasoan who is a food critic for the Post up there was telling me to get my hopes down now. The Mex in NYC sucks.
No doubt. At some point, do drop in on Char No. 4 (http://www.charno4.com). A buddy of mine from college (native Texan) is the chef there. It's a whiskey bar where pretty much everything on the menu contains bourbon, smoked meat, or both.
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No, she just happens to be one and happened to mention that.
I kinda already figured.
Best of luck. I lived in New York for a couple years, and I hope that you get your Mexican food hopes down. way down. Ditto goes for BBQ. Oh, and the best burger place is called "BRGR" so there's that. Don't believe the shake shack media machine. Other than those staples, you'll be fine though. And don't underestimate Manhattan women in the summer. I know that's sacrilege, but, damn it, it's true.
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And don't underestimate Manhattan women in the summer. I know that's sacrilege, but, damn it, it's true.
Any Texas college campus in summer >>> Manhattan in summer.
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Best of luck. I lived in New York for a couple years, and I hope that you get your Mexican food hopes down. way down. Ditto goes for BBQ. Oh, and the best burger place is called "BRGR" so there's that. Don't believe the shake shack media machine. Other than those staples, you'll be fine though. And don't underestimate Manhattan women in the summer. I know that's sacrilege, but, damn it, it's true.
Aren't they at the Hamptons during summer? Maybe those Mahattan summer women are throw downs.
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Dan Jenkins used to have a Mexican restaurant in Manhattan. Even he couldn't find the people to help him get it right up there?
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Alkie,
Good luck to you. Hope the BBQ in Orange was okay. Everything east of there sucks, worse than Orange sucks, even.
Remember as you are crossing the Sabine River - even though we don't know each other and grew up 800 miles apart, in different cultures, in different environments, we have more in common than you have with anything you'll see for the next 800 miles, or 1,000, or even 1,500. You are one of us, and will always be, even if Rick Perry manages to secede us while you are expatriated up there in NYC. We'll still let you through the border checkpoint, when you decide to return.
Of course, if you become a Yankee or steM fan while you are up there, disregard all the above.
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Just make sure he's not bigger than you.
Good luck, Alkie. No hurricanes up there to knock down your trees.
Not to make you worry, but I thought Floyd got pretty close.
Good luck in NYC.
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Good luck, just because you're in New York doesn't mean you ain't a Texan. I've been in Orange County, CA for 8 years and I will still correct people on where I'm from. I'm certainly not Californian.
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Aren't they at the Hamptons during summer? Maybe those Mahattan summer women are throw downs.
Mostly on the weekends. Those that full on summer in the Hamptons all summer long don't streetwalk on the street of Manhattan anyhow; they have drivers.
I wasn't make a comparison re: Texas college women in the summer either. Just saying you won't go hungry there either. And there's a little more for everyone with regards to variety.
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Godspeed, Alkie. In NYC, you'll hear a lot of superiority talk, like "best city in the world" and all that bullshit. Remember that Luling, Texas will always always always have better bbq than that entire city. Advantage: Luling.
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Good Luck to you and yours. Enjoy the pizza.
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Easy.
A fellow El Pasoan who is a food critic for the Post up there was telling me to get my hopes down now. The Mex in NYC sucks.
You tell me in a PM where to send some salsa and I will... maybe not in a timely manner, but I'll come through... eventually, some time... you'll see!
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You tell me in a PM where to send some salsa and I will... maybe not in a timely manner, but I'll come through... eventually, some time... you'll see!
Give me a FedEx or UPS billing number and I'd send you flour/corn tortillas.
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Give me a FedEx or UPS billing number and I'd send you flour/corn tortillas.
Give me a billing code and I'll send tax returns.
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Give me a billing code and I'll send tax returns.
Give me a self-address stamped envelope and I'll send you a SnS cap! (white or blue?)
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Give me a self-address stamped envelope and I'll send you a SnS cap! (white or blue?)
Give me a twenty-dollar bill and i'll give you two tens, or four fives, or a ten and two fives. I will work with you.
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If you see a good looking woman in New York, she's from Texas.
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Give me a twenty-dollar bill and i'll give you two tens, or four fives, or a ten and two fives. I will work with you.
I'll give you one of these for two of those.
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Alkie -
Y'all come back now, ya hear?
Give those stem fans, and especially those self-entitled yankee fans HELL.
Later.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ise0ecATZ1o
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I'll drink one for you, Alkie (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcoJyvxlbCI)!
Enjoy the ride, and come back soon!
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In 3 hours, we'll get in a car and head for the Loosianur border. I may get out in Orange and cry (not because we're leaving Texas....have you BEEN to Orange??).
I grew up in Orange. You don't have to tell me. Not much good BBQ in Orange anymore. Population is down a bunch since Rita, and Ike trashed what was left. Do stop in Breaux Bridge for some crawfish though; that's another thing they won't have in NYC.
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Hope you're having a safe road trip, and come on back to the Lone Star State when you can. We'll leave a light on for ya.
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And don't underestimate Manhattan women in the summer.
Don't underestimate their grooming habits in the Winter either.
Good luck in NYC, bro.
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Any Texas college campus in summer >>> Manhattan in summer.
Umm, no. Incorrect.
And goddam it, Alkie, I told you about the Mexican food up there. There's plenty of awesome Mexican food, just not in your pasty-ass neighborhood.
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So after all that, we didn't even get to stop for a last meal.
Fucking movers showed up an hour late. That pushed our closing to 30 minutes late. Which meant we had to pick up our kid BEFORE closing, instead of AFTER closing, which meant no lunch BEFORE closing. So we had to grab sandwiches on the way out of Houston (so as not to pass the fuck out) and we weren't the least bit hungry in Orange.
Passing over the Sabine was an odd feeling, but not as odd as I thought it would be.
Quick question for those of you Loosiann residents in here....so like, what IS that smell? For real.
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Quick question for those of you Loosiann residents in here....so like, what IS that smell? For real.
Home.
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Home.
Interesting.
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The Mex in NYC sucks.
It's one of those odd laws of nature, the further away from Mexico a Mexican Food cook gets, the worse his cooking becomes. The Mexican food in NYC is probably fantastic compared to say, Perth or Johannesburg.
Be safe on your journey.
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Umm, no. Incorrect.
And goddam it, Alkie, I told you about the Mexican food up there. There's plenty of awesome Mexican food, just not in your pasty-ass neighborhood.
Just out of curiosity, where? I ventured up through Spanish Harlem and the like on my most homesick days and never found anything edible (although most of Spanish Harlem isn't Mexican....it was the best shot I could think of). There are a couple more high-end Mexican places that might fool you into thinking you're at an Escalantes outlet store (and I'm not saying that like it's a great thing either), but I never found anything close to legit. Please learn me your secrets if I ever find myself back in that city long enough to be homesick again.
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It's one of those odd laws of nature, the further away from Mexico a Mexican Food cook gets, the worse his cooking becomes. The Mexican food in NYC is probably fantastic compared to say, Perth or Johannesburg.
Be safe on your journey.
If you really wanna try some hilarious Tex-Mex, go to Spain. "The Lone Star Cafe" in Madrid serves a bizarre interpretation.
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If you really wanna try some hilarious Tex-Mex, go to Spain. "The Lone Star Cafe" in Madrid serves a bizarre interpretation.
in Giebelstadt, Germany, we saw a sign for "Tina's Tex-Mex." unfortunately, we already had eaten.
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in Giebelstadt, Germany, we saw a sign for "Tina's Tex-Mex." unfortunately, we already had eaten.
FIFReality
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FIFReality
Allison hates when we go on vacation because I always seek out the mexican restaurant. We had mexican in Hawaii that I claim was fantastic but she says sucked. I was still drunk from the night before, so who's to say? I had mexican food in the ginza district of Tokyo. That did suck. We couldn't find a mexican restaraunt in Berlin, so I had to settle for "South American." It wasn't the same.
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FIFReality
probably, but i wanted to see what it was like.
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Allison hates when we go on vacation because I always seek out the mexican restaurant. We had mexican in Hawaii that I claim was fantastic but she says sucked. I was still drunk from the night before, so who's to say? I had mexican food in the ginza district of Tokyo. That did suck. We couldn't find a mexican restaraunt in Berlin, so I had to settle for "South American." It wasn't the same.
The missus and I had some-kind-of-mex in Paris (the one in France) just for grins, and it was probably the most awful thing I've ever tasted. The ritas were almost pure lime juice, mixed with what I think may have been gin. They were physically painful to consume, but were the highlight least worst part of the meal.
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I had a "hamburger" in Amman about thirty years ago. Oddly ground mint flavored lamb or goat or whatever just doesn't translate well. It was served by the owner who was also the barber next door. He gave me a haircut and then swept up the cut hair and poured it in a glass bowl that sat in the shop's window. I've been looking for my soul ever since.
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I had a "hamburger" in Amman about thirty years ago. Oddly ground mint flavored lamb or goat or whatever just doesn't translate well. It was served by the owner who was also the barber next door. He gave me a haircut and then swept up the cut hair and poured it in a glass bowl that sat in the shop's window. I've been looking for my soul ever since.
Just think if he'd trimmed your beard ...
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I actually had some decent Mexican food in Tokyo. It wasn't fantastic but I've had worse in the United States. Specifically in Sarasota and some chains in so. cal.
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Before we were married, my wife lived in Manhattan for a number of years. Suffice to say, it made for some entertaining weekend trips, some of which would start and end on successive Wednesdays.
The frame of reference is early 90's, but there was a Mexican place on the east side called Rosa Mexicano that is still there--somewhere close to the Queensborough Bridge. I honestly don't recall the food's being horrible or great either way. What I do recall was that they allowed you the opportunity to watch them make your guacamole salad tableside. They had a cart filled with those jumbo avocados you see at Rice/Central Market/et al, as well as a boatload of spices and sauces from which you could choose.
The "privilege" was $8 in those days, meaning it's probably damn near twice that now. I'd recommend that to anyone looking for a taste of home, unless, of course, you hate guac.
Beyond that, use a visit to a Mexican restaurant as an opportunity to lay down the reverse New York on 'em, meaning to tell them how fucked up their Mexican food is. But don't stop there; proceed to tell them how overrated their town is, their teams, their airports, their transportation and their people, for that matter. In other words, just like they do when they're in your town.
Come to think of it, I might be getting New Yorker mixed up with Cub fan, again. Most of the New Yorkers I met in all of our trips were from Georgia, Virginia, Texas, Tennessee, California and North Carolina, nearly all of whom loved Texas. Yeah, gotta be Cub fan. Fuck him, too.
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The frame of reference is early 90's, but there was a Mexican place on the east side called Rosa Mexicano that is still there--somewhere close to the Queensborough Bridge. I honestly don't recall the food's being horrible or great either way. What I do recall was that they allowed you the opportunity to watch them make your guacamole salad tableside. They had a cart filled with those jumbo avocados you see at Rice/Central Market/et al, as well as a boatload of spices and sauces from which you could choose.
Wow, I'd forgotten about that place. It was pretty good, but as you mention wildly expensive for what you get.
hostros7, you can find good taquerias in Sunset Park, Brooklyn, and in Jackson Heights or thereabouts in Queens. There are surely other little Mexican communities mushrooming up here and there, but I'm not in NYC enough to keep track. There once were some good taquerias on 125th Street in Spanish Harlem so either you missed them or they're not there anymore.
There are certainly some good Mexican restaurants, too, beyond taquerias. One I liked a lot but haven't been to in years is called Selena and is on West 38th. I was really impressed with the food, but who knows what it would be like now.
The point is, good Mexican food exists in NYC, but don't go into a Senor Parrot's in Times Square and expect to get anything but sick.
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Wow, I'd forgotten about that place. It was pretty good, but as you mention wildly expensive for what you get.
hostros7, you can find good taquerias in Sunset Park, Brooklyn, and in Jackson Heights or thereabouts in Queens. There are surely other little Mexican communities mushrooming up here and there, but I'm not in NYC enough to keep track. There once were some good taquerias on 125th Street in Spanish Harlem so either you missed them or they're not there anymore.
There are certainly some good Mexican restaurants, too, beyond taquerias. One I liked a lot but haven't been to in years is called Selena and is on West 38th. I was really impressed with the food, but who knows what it would be like now.
The point is, good Mexican food exists in NYC, but don't go into a Senor Parrot's in Times Square and expect to get anything but sick.
If there is a god of more than middling power, why does he allow something called Senor Parrot's to exist?
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If there is a god of more than middling power, why does he allow something called Senor Parrot's to exist?
Yes, Quetzalcoatl runs herd on shitty, bogus Mexican restaurants. Their owners will have hell to pay in the underworld.
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Cafe Frida on Columbus right behind the Museum of Natural History serves pretty good food in my estimation. It's Mexican food, but not Tex-Mex. Also, there is a Rosa Mexicano a few blocks down Columbus near Lincoln Center.
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Yes, Quetzalcoatl runs herd on shitty, bogus Mexican restaurants. Their owners will have hell to play in the underworld.
Because there is free choice in the world, Quetzalcoatl cannot actually prevent people from creating or patronizing abominations such as Senor Parrot's. However, the flip side of free choice is enduring the consequences of one's choices, and this is where Quetzalcoatl will have his day. Only with the patrons, however, because the proprietors will have been culled by Cthulhu.
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Wow, I'd forgotten about that place. It was pretty good, but as you mention wildly expensive for what you get.
hostros7, you can find good taquerias in Sunset Park, Brooklyn, and in Jackson Heights or thereabouts in Queens. There are surely other little Mexican communities mushrooming up here and there, but I'm not in NYC enough to keep track. There once were some good taquerias on 125th Street in Spanish Harlem so either you missed them or they're not there anymore.
There are certainly some good Mexican restaurants, too, beyond taquerias. One I liked a lot but haven't been to in years is called Selena and is on West 38th. I was really impressed with the food, but who knows what it would be like now.
The point is, good Mexican food exists in NYC, but don't go into a Senor Parrot's in Times Square and expect to get anything but sick.
This reminds me of the last time I was in NYC (obstensibly for work). We had a cocktail hour in Grand Central Station, and I got nice and trashed on free Glenlivet. Those of us not from NYC were asking our host to take us somewhere to eat (on their dime, of course) and demanded some place authentically New York. Our host proceeds to walk the lot of us for a few blocks until we get to...the Hard Rock in Times Square. I was too drunk at that point to complain coherently, but I did pay him back by throwing up baby back ribs a few hours later on his shoes.
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This reminds me of the last time I was in NYC (obstensibly for work). We had a cocktail hour in Grand Central Station, and I got nice and trashed on free Glenlivet. Those of us not from NYC were asking our host to take us somewhere to eat (on their dime, of course) and demanded some place authentically New York. Our host proceeds to walk the lot of us for a few blocks until we get to...the Hard Rock in Times Square. I was too drunk at that point to complain coherently, but I did pay him back by throwing up baby back ribs a few hours later on his shoes.
I love how there are little bar carts at the commuter rail tracks in Grand Central. All the folks loosening their ties and buying a vodka tonic for the thirty minute train ride home to Westchester is so Man in the Grey Flannel Suit.
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I got an e-mail from someone yesterday telling me they just had better fajitas in Poland than they've had in Houston. You have to discount the opinion of someone saying something like that.
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I love how there are little bar carts at the commuter rail tracks in Grand Central. All the folks loosening their ties and buying a vodka tonic for the thirty minute train ride home to Westchester is so Man in the Grey Flannel Suit.
This gives me a fantastic idea.
Now all I need is a liquor license, a lemonade-type stand, and some real estate near the road at 5th and Mopac.
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This gives me a fantastic idea.
Now all I need is a liquor license, a lemonade-type stand, and some real estate near the road at 5th and Mopac.
You shouldn't even need the real estate if you're quick enough on your feet.
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I got an e-mail from someone yesterday telling me they just had better fajitas in Poland than they've had in Houston. You have to discount the opinion of someone saying something like that.
You get emails from Drayton?
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I got an e-mail from someone yesterday telling me they just had better fajitas in Poland than they've had in Houston. You have to discount the opinion of someone saying something like that.
Are you saying Polish people can't make good fajitas?
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Are you saying Polish people can't make good fajitas?
I should clarify that having two z's next to other consonants in your last name is not an automatic disqualifier.
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I should clarify that having two z's next to other consonants in your last name is not an automatic disqualifier.
Or an -ski.
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I got an e-mail from someone yesterday telling me they just had better fajitas in Poland than they've had in Houston. You have to discount the opinion of someone saying something like that.
Clearly, you've never had Polish vodka.
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Clearly, you've never had Polish vodka.
Not that I can remember, anyway.
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Not that I can remember, anyway.
Then you have.
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Cafe Frida on Columbus right behind the Museum of Natural History serves pretty good food in my estimation. It's Mexican food, but not Tex-Mex.
Cool, that'll be easy to check out. That's like 3 blocks from our apt.
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Cool, that'll be easy to check out. That's like 3 blocks from our apt.
How close are you to Monk's?
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Cool, that'll be easy to check out. That's like 3 blocks from our apt.
If you live right in that area, hit Isabella's for brunch for sure. On Columbus right across the street from the museum.
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I got an e-mail from someone yesterday telling me they just had better fajitas in Poland than they've had in Houston. You have to discount the opinion of someone saying something like that.
I can personally attest that the Mexican food in Poland is truly terrible. But we are talking about a country who's primary cuisine is bread spread with lard to prepare your stomach for an evening of gold vodka.
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How close are you to Monk's?
Sounds like he'd need to go north several blocks.
Speaking of which, Seinfeld was at Jones Hall last night. Very funny. The opening act (Clark Gregg) was just as good.
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If there is a god of more than middling power, why does he allow something called Senor Parrot's to exist?
I made that up, but you get the point. I think.
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Senor Parrot, that reminds me of this story.
Your Parrot is Dead, Señor
At dawn the telephone rings, 'Hello, Señor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker
at your country house.'
'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?'
'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Señor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead'
'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?'
'Si, Señor, that's the one.'
'Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?'
'From eating the rotten meat, Señor Rod.'
'Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?'
'Nobody, Señor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.'
'Dead horse? What dead horse?'
'The thoroughbred, Señor Rod.'
'My prize thoroughbred is dead?'
'Yes Señor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.'
'Are you insane?? What water cart?'
'The one we used to put out the fire, Señor.'
'Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man??'
'The one at your house, Señor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.'
'What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?? !!'
'Yes, Señor Rod.'
'But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?'
'For the funeral, Señor Rod.'
'WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!'
'Your wife's, Señor Rod', she showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief,
so I hit her with your new tailor made R580 XD golf club.'
SILENCE . . . . . . .. . .
LONG SILENCE . . . . . . . .
'Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!!'
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I made that up, but you get the point. I think.
Probably not. I'm not as smart as you.
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Cool, that'll be easy to check out. That's like 3 blocks from our apt.
Looks like you guys live across the park from us, though we are moving to gramercy/union square in the next month or so.