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General Discussion => Talk Zone => Topic started by: Rebel Jew on August 28, 2007, 11:06:25 pm

Title: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Rebel Jew on August 28, 2007, 11:06:25 pm
What us fans really want:

1.  Beer that costs half what it currently costs
2.  Food that costs half what it currently costs
3.  Food that doesn't taste like, and isn't made of, slop
4.  Affordable tickets that aren't up in the rafters
5.  A stadium that isn't whored out to a crooked corporation or cheap juice maker
6.  Crooked owners who stop ripping off taxpayers for stadiums
7.  A firm denunciation of steroid abusers and those who have enabled steroid abusers past, present, and future
8.  An end to the put up or shut up culture that encourages people, and sends a message to our children to revel in and crave the failure of good people

-Joey Trum
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Noe on August 28, 2007, 11:07:24 pm
What us fans really want:

1.  Beer that costs half what it currently costs
2.  Food that costs half what it currently costs
3.  Food that doesn't taste like, and isn't made of, slop
4.  Affordable tickets that aren't up in the rafters
5.  A stadium that isn't whored out to a crooked corporation or cheap juice maker
6.  Crooked owners who stop ripping off taxpayers for stadiums
7.  A firm denunciation of steroid abusers and those who have enabled steroid abusers past, present, and future
8.  An end to the put up or shut up culture that encourages people to revel in and even crave the failure of good people

-Joey Trum

And world peace.
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Rebel Jew on August 28, 2007, 11:09:53 pm
And world peace.

world peace is more likely, i think
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Craig on August 28, 2007, 11:18:22 pm
What us fans really want:

1.  Beer that costs half what it currently costs
2.  Food that costs half what it currently costs
3.  Food that doesn't taste like, and isn't made of, slop
4.  Affordable tickets that aren't up in the rafters
5.  A stadium that isn't whored out to a crooked corporation or cheap juice maker
6.  Crooked owners who stop ripping off taxpayers for stadiums
7.  A firm denunciation of steroid abusers and those who have enabled steroid abusers past, present, and future
8.  An end to the put up or shut up culture that encourages people, and sends a message to our children to revel in and crave the failure of good people

-Joey Trum

9. And to reliably get the games on my TV, instead of having to navigate the stupid fucking blackout rule.
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: HudsonHawk on August 29, 2007, 07:22:11 am
And a pony.
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: davek on August 29, 2007, 07:56:52 am
world peace is more likely, i think

whirled peas is even more likely...
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Andyzipp on August 29, 2007, 08:01:41 am
What us fans really want:

1.  Beer that costs half what it currently costs
2.  Food that costs half what it currently costs
3.  Food that doesn't taste like, and isn't made of, slop
4.  Affordable tickets that aren't up in the rafters
5.  A stadium that isn't whored out to a crooked corporation or cheap juice maker
6.  Crooked owners who stop ripping off taxpayers for stadiums
7.  A firm denunciation of steroid abusers and those who have enabled steroid abusers past, present, and future
8.  An end to the put up or shut up culture that encourages people, and sends a message to our children to revel in and crave the failure of good people

-Joey Trum

If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

If I had two wishes I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.

You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe.

And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife can come too and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it.

Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth!

So -- we reorganize!

Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we got with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

Thank you everybody and Merry Christmas.
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Taras Bulba on August 29, 2007, 08:33:59 am
Frank Capra lives.
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: ValpoCory on August 29, 2007, 09:01:32 am
What us fans really want:

1.  Beer that costs half what it currently costs
2.  Food that costs half what it currently costs
3.  Food that doesn't taste like, and isn't made of, slop
4.  Affordable tickets that aren't up in the rafters
5.  A stadium that isn't whored out to a crooked corporation or cheap juice maker
6.  Crooked owners who stop ripping off taxpayers for stadiums
7.  A firm denunciation of steroid abusers and those who have enabled steroid abusers past, present, and future
8.  An end to the put up or shut up culture that encourages people, and sends a message to our children to revel in and crave the failure of good people

-Joey Trum

Once people figure out out to spell Drayton's last name, those things will be done.
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Limey on August 29, 2007, 09:03:20 am
Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we got with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

Thank you everybody and Merry Christmas.

Come one, Andy!  First you get the money...
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: BudGirl on August 29, 2007, 09:05:12 am
Come one, Andy!  First you get the money...

then an iphone?
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Houston on August 29, 2007, 09:06:32 am
4.  Affordable tickets that aren't up in the rafters
our children to revel in and crave the failure of good people

-Joey Trum

If you compare Astros tickets prices to many other teams, especially here on the East Coast, you may have a different perspective. Astros tickets are pretty reasonably priced.

Oh, and if you send this to Drayton, his name is McLane. He might take you a little more seriously. Or not...
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Fredia on August 29, 2007, 09:12:45 am
What us fans really want:

1.  Beer that costs half what it currently costs
2.  Food that costs half what it currently costs
3.  Food that doesn't taste like, and isn't made of, slop
4.  Affordable tickets that aren't up in the rafters
5.  A stadium that isn't whored out to a crooked corporation or cheap juice maker
6.  Crooked owners who stop ripping off taxpayers for stadiums
7.  A firm denunciation of steroid abusers and those who have enabled steroid abusers past, present, and future
8.  An end to the put up or shut up culture that encourages people, and sends a message to our children to revel in and crave the failure of good people

-Joey Trum
and maps of world so people can find out where the united states is..
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Limey on August 29, 2007, 09:15:20 am
and maps of world so people can find out where the united states is..

Begs the question: "Is our children learning?"
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Andyzipp on August 29, 2007, 09:22:36 am
Begs the question: "Is our children learning?"

It would be helpful to South Africa and The Iraq.
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Astroholic on August 29, 2007, 09:34:06 am
It would be helpful to South Africa and The Iraq.

Id hit it.
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Andyzipp on August 29, 2007, 09:38:18 am
Id hit it.

She's not the type to marry, or even have a conversation over breakfast with, but she does have certain assets which make spending brief amounts of time worth it.

http://www.lockemanagement.com/portfolio/pictures/02140710421479.jpg
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Astroholic on August 29, 2007, 09:41:33 am
She's not the type to marry, or even have a conversation over breakfast with, but she does have certain assets which make spending brief amounts of time worth it.

http://www.lockemanagement.com/portfolio/pictures/02140710421479.jpg

Well said.
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Phil_in_CS on August 29, 2007, 09:43:54 am
Come one, Andy!  First you get the money...

no kidding; 30 mil a month and the rest of the problem solve themselves.
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Astroholic on August 29, 2007, 09:44:12 am
She's not the type to marry, or even have a conversation over breakfast with, but she does have certain assets which make spending brief amounts of time worth it.

http://www.lockemanagement.com/portfolio/pictures/02140710421479.jpg

"I hate to admit it, but yes, I swear to you, I really thought Chicken of the Sea was actually chicken. That's how I really think."
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Limey on August 29, 2007, 09:46:51 am
She's not the type to marry, or even have a conversation over breakfast with, but she does have certain assets which make spending brief amounts of time worth it.

http://www.lockemanagement.com/portfolio/pictures/02140710421479.jpg

Looks a bit like Jan Levinson (http://l.yimg.com/img.tv.yahoo.com/tv/us/img/site/70/96/0000037096_20070115223812.jpg).
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Astroholic on August 29, 2007, 09:47:30 am
Looks about like Jan Levinson (http://l.yimg.com/img.tv.yahoo.com/tv/us/img/site/70/96/0000037096_20070115223812.jpg).

Okay.....
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Ty in Tampa on August 29, 2007, 09:50:46 am
It would be helpful to South Africa and The Iraq.

Will somebody think of the U.S. Americans?
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: David in Jackson on August 29, 2007, 10:26:16 am
And a pony.

and dinner with Milo at the Kissimmee Steak House with drinks on the house!

And a Red Rider BB gun.
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: MusicMan on August 29, 2007, 10:26:34 am
and dinner with Milo at the Kissimmee Steak House with drinks on the house!

And a Red Rider BB gun.

You'll shoot your eye out, kid.
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Astroholic on August 29, 2007, 10:27:04 am
And a Red Rider BB gun.

With a compass in the stock
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: MRaup on August 29, 2007, 11:44:26 am
With a compass in the stock

And one of those things that tells time.
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Limey on August 29, 2007, 12:00:31 pm
And one of those things that tells time.

Sundial.
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Dobro on August 29, 2007, 12:04:59 pm
Will somebody think of the U.S. Americans?

I read an article somewhere online where the author defended her "U.S. Americans" comment and described it as intelligent, citing that Mexicans and Canadians are technically considered Americans, too, and without the distinction there's no way of knowing that she was speaking specifically about the people of the United States.

I got a kick out of it.
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: Houston on August 29, 2007, 12:09:41 pm
I read an article somewhere online where the author defended her "U.S. Americans" comment and described it as intelligent, citing that Mexicans and Canadians are technically considered Americans, too, and without the distinction there's no way of knowing that she was speaking specifically about the people of the United States.

I got a kick out of it.

Me and all my friends, we're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and there's no way we ever could
We see everything that's going wrong with the world and those who lead it
It just seems that we can't buy the maps to rise above and beat it.
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: S.P. Rodriguez on August 29, 2007, 12:16:45 pm
Me and all my friends, we're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and there's no way we ever could
We see everything that's going wrong with the world and those who lead it
It just seems that we can't buy the maps to rise above and beat it.


Are you just waiting... waiting for an original song to spew forth?
Title: Re: Dear Mr. McClane
Post by: astrox on August 30, 2007, 09:06:40 am
Me and all my friends, we're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and there's no way we ever could
We see everything that's going wrong with the world and those who lead it
It just seems that we can't buy the maps to rise above and beat it.


So beat it, beat it - go buy a map and read it.
Help South Africa, help The Iraq
The U.S. Americans should go by a map and read it read it read it read it (such as) read it read it read it read it