OrangeWhoopass.com Forums

General Discussion => Talk Zone => Topic started by: No? in Austin on March 21, 2007, 06:37:21 pm

Title: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: No? in Austin on March 21, 2007, 06:37:21 pm
Well, not just yet.  But perhaps some day soon.  The OWA is pleased to announce that we've reached a tentative agreement to allow Alkie back into the ranks of the great scribes, including Limey, of the Columnista Row.  Also known as assault row for you baseball fans out there.  Negotiations were tough, roughly 10 minutes of wrasslin'-like stare downs, finger gestures and some spitting (sorry about that Alkie).

When negotiations broke off, it was apparent to us that Alkie wanted to be like the Drama Queen and hold us up for a few months, just to see if he could coax some *other* fansites, maybe a blog or two, into joining the fray for his services.  He kept repeating "May" to us and we just went back to spitting on him (really, sorry about that Alkie).  In the end, the love between the innebriated one and this fansite could not be broken, even if a blog out there may offer more in terms of perks.  So Alkie will return in his own good time to write again, this time in a column named "Alkie's Fables" (you thought we had forgotten, eh?  Well... we did, until Alkie reminded us! Doh!).

For now, Alkie just wants to pitch some BP columns our way, get in shape, test out the new pen and take Foghorn's left nut out of storage, dust if off and place it back on the mantle for inspiration sake.  You know the drill, you've been through this with Roger Clemens before, will do it again this year... so Alkie is no different than any other prima donna out there.  Deal with it.

But he did submit a piece as a goodwill gesture, so here you go, the return of Alkie's perspectives, right here on this site:

 FROM LEFT FIELD: May I Present to You...
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: JimR on March 21, 2007, 06:55:13 pm
excellent, mon Capitan.
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: Nate in IA on March 21, 2007, 06:59:59 pm
I believe!  Well, except for that Morgana part....
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: loganck on March 21, 2007, 07:03:47 pm
That was excellent, except no way Lidge blows a save this year.  I hear he's figured out that whole back pocket thing.
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: MusicMan on March 21, 2007, 07:07:43 pm
Shit, I've been outed as Richard Justice???
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: David in Jackson on March 22, 2007, 10:38:42 am
All I can say is THANK GOD.
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: austro on March 22, 2007, 10:44:58 am
Somebody's sig (can't remember whose) seems appropriate right about now: "Aren't you glad you have access to my dementia?"
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: EasTexAstro on March 22, 2007, 10:46:27 am
People drink when posting here?
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: Limey on March 22, 2007, 12:37:26 pm
Quote:

Well, not just yet.  But perhaps some day soon.  The OWA is pleased to announce that we've reached a tentative agreement to allow Alkie back into the ranks of the great scribes, including Limey, of the Columnista Row.


I'm supposed to be writing a column?!!!!  Why didn't anyone tell me!!!
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: Froback on March 22, 2007, 12:55:00 pm
Quote:

Quote:

Well, not just yet.  But perhaps some day soon.  The OWA is pleased to announce that we've reached a tentative agreement to allow Alkie back into the ranks of the great scribes, including Limey, of the Columnista Row.


I'm supposed to be writing a column?!!!!  Why didn't anyone tell me!!!


I thought without Cricket and your work restricting YouTube from you that you went on vacation from writing.  (Posting, isn't writing, is it?)
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: Andyzipp on March 22, 2007, 03:47:12 pm
Ignore them. Soon, you can be like me, and no one will remember who in the hell you are.
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: Ankh on March 22, 2007, 03:50:16 pm
Without cricket? It's World Cup time, Baby!  Ain't no cricket-loving limey gonna be away from the World Cup.
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: Limey on March 22, 2007, 05:40:37 pm
Quote:

Without cricket? It's World Cup time, Baby!  Ain't no cricket-loving limey gonna be away from the World Cup.


It's a magical time, when fat Bermudans are making MVP plays, and English cricketing stars are being rescued from the surf at 4:00 a.m. after re-enacting "The Poseidon Adventure" with a pedalo.
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: David in Jackson on March 22, 2007, 06:37:33 pm
Quote:

Ignore them. Soon, you can be like me, and no one will remember who in the hell you are.

 

Yeah,I remember you.  You're that Flap guy who didn't have kids, right?
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: headhunter on March 23, 2007, 12:21:33 pm
I heard that the Pakistani team choked.
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: drew corleone on March 23, 2007, 06:48:01 pm
[jim rome] EPIC! [/jim rome]
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: DVauthrin on March 26, 2007, 04:34:55 pm
great news, the thoughts that make up the inner workings of alkie's brain are the stuff of comedic genius.
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: Dobro on March 26, 2007, 10:13:27 pm
Quote from: DVauthrin on March 26, 2007, 04:34:55 pm
great news, the thoughts that make up the inner workings of alkie's brain are the stuff of comedic genius.
Indeed.
Title: Re: The Return of Alkie to the Ranks of Vanity Columnista?
Post by: Col. Sphinx Drummond on March 27, 2007, 05:51:19 am

I get drunk just reading Alkies' shit. Must be the fumes.