By Craig the Bastard
The Game Three win was huge, but today?s game is even bigger. With a victory today the Astros take a commanding lead, and mash a boot down on the Co-Ards? spasming creaky neck. But an Astros? loss means it?s a three-game series with two left at Busch.
Suddenly the Jakes are looking as old ?n busted as their piece-of-shit stadium, but don?t count the fuckers out yet. They might be lulling us to sleep, because I?ve heard they?re sneaky like that. Anyway, you know these freaks can explode at any moment, and they probably will soon.
Today?s the day to take control of the series. The Jakes? legs are getting wobbly, and it?s time to put them on the ropes.
When:
Sunday, October 16, 3:00 p.m. CDT ? Fox
Where: MMPUS
LaGenius was bitching about home plate umpire Wally Bell BEFORE Game Three started. Said he was concerned that Bell?s strike zone would be affected by the crowd, or some shit. For an encore, today he?ll call the ump a cocksucker when he brings out the lineup card.
Matchup
Jeff Suppan (16-10, 3.57 regular season) v. Brandon Backe (10-8, 4.76 regular season)
Soup?s On is 2-2 in 4 career postseason appearances with a 3.80 ERA. The Astros haven?t faced him this season, but he?s 2-6 against Houston in his career with a 4.75 ERA. In 60+ innings against the Astros, he?s given up 73 hits and 32 earned runs.
Suppan made 32 starts this season for the Jakes, but somehow we always missed his spot in the rotation. Smells like Tank Commander to me.
We might see Jose Vizcaino in the lineup today, because he?s 13-for-21 (.619) with four doubles against Suppan. Several other Astros have hit Suppan well, including Jeff Bagwell (11-for-27, .407), Lance Berkman (8-for-22, .364, two homers and three doubles), and Adam Everett (4-for-9, .444, one homer).
On the other hand, Craig Biggio is 5-for-26 (.192), Mike Lamb is 3-for-17 (.176), and Orlando ?Whiskers? Palmeiro is 0-for-17.
Backe is 0-1 against the Co-Ards this season, going 11+ innings in 3 appearances. He gave up 21 hits and 13 earned runs in that time. He has a 1-0 postseason record in 5 appearances.
Current Jakes bat .371 against him (30-for-81) with three homers from PooHoles and one each from Cathead, Mabry, and the Ballerina. Fat Albert is 3-for-10 against Backe, while Molina and Sanders are both 3-for-9. Eyechart is 4-for-8 and Eckstein is 4-for-6. Lollygagger Edmonds is 2-for-9.
Players to Watch:
? Backe will probably be on a short leash today, and I think we?ll see a lot of action from both bullpens. Also be prepared for more stupefying moves by LaGenius.
? Chad Qualls was rock solid in Game Three, and Brad Lidge gave up a run but still slammed the door. The bullpen has been nails in this series.
? Eyechart Grudzielanek got a hit in his first AB of the series, and has gone 0-for-11 since. The Jakes are 3-for-18 with runners in scoring position.
? Jim Hickey is a good choice to be doing the live updates from the dugout. He?s better than any of the fuckwits in the Fox booth.
Key injuries:
St. Louis ? Trainwreck Reggie is still wobbly after his ballet injury. Abraham Nunez got knocked out of Game Three by Jason Lane?s knee, so we?ll have to see if he makes it back for Game Four.
Houston ? None
Other shit
? Brad Lidge has to wear Morgan Ensberg?s USC jersey during interviews today, because of their football bet. Hell, I?ll wear a Trojan all game if Ensberg will start getting some hits.
? I won?t really.
