Alkie Ties UCLA Mens Basketball With 88th Straight Win

[Alkie]

NEW YORK -- Internet sensation and chronic masturbater, Alkie, tied John Wooden's magical run of 88 straight wins today.   Alkie, who does not play Division 1 Mens Basketball, has never been in a difficult conference, and has not played against a single future NBA player, was able to tie this record on Nintendo's Double Dribble on a vintage 1989 NES.   This is exactly the same thing as winning 88 straight Division 1 Mens Basketball games because both games involve a basketball.    Do not question how this is comparable just because Alkie was only playing against far inferior competition, with a different sized ball, in front of almost no fans or media until about a week before the record was tied.   Samey, samey.   

[Alkie]

Also, I was on an intramural football team that went undefeated (4-0) and swept through the playoffs.   

I look forward to sipping champagne with the other 3 people from that team every season when the last undefeated team in the NFL finally loses. 

[Ron Brand]

J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets!

[MusicMan]

Dude, I'm fairly certain you've never even pissed 88 times in a row without missing.

[Waldo]

This is exactly the same thing as winning 88 straight Division 1 Mens Basketball games because both games involve a basketball.

I'll give you the tiebreaker since you probably had to blow on the cartridge to make it work.

[MusicMan]

I'll give you the tiebreaker since you probably had to blow on the cartridge to make it work.

Yeah, but he knew to always go to the same spot to make a 3-pointer.

[Gizzmonic]

NEW YORK -- Internet sensation and chronic masturbater, Alkie, tied John Wooden's magical run of 88 straight wins today.   Alkie, who does not play Division 1 Mens Basketball, has never been in a difficult conference, and has not played against a single future NBA player, was able to tie this record on Nintendo's Double Dribble on a vintage 1989 NES.   This is exactly the same thing as winning 88 straight Division 1 Mens Basketball games because both games involve a basketball.    Do not question how this is comparable just because Alkie was only playing against far inferior competition, with a different sized ball, in front of almost no fans or media until about a week before the record was tied.   Samey, samey.   

But, did Wooden'a players ever turn all gold and shiny when they went up for a dunk?  No?  Obviously you've surpassed him!

[austro]

So I understand that Auriemma is all hacked off because he thinks his girls are getting short-changed. But I don't think that women's basketball has anything like the balance of competition that men's basketball had, even in the Wooden era.

[Alkie]

So I understand that Auriemma is all hacked off because he thinks his girls are getting short-changed. But I don't think that women's basketball has anything like the balance of competition that men's basketball had, even in the Wooden era.

You're talking crazy!   These girls have accomplished the EXACT SAME THING!   EXACT.   SAME.

STOP ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS, YOU SEXIST ASSHOLE!

[austro]

YOU SEXIST ASSHOLE!

C'est moi.

[chuck]

http://www.reverbnation.com/auriemma

Have a listen to some of the songs. Really. And then enjoy the shot of the dude standing in a mountain range somewhere playing a barre C on the 12-string neck of his double-neck guitar whilst wearing the ever fashionable combo of sandals and socks. And a stupid hat.

Or you could go read some more of Heyman.

[Gizzmonic]

http://www.reverbnation.com/auriemma

Have a listen to some of the songs. Really. And then enjoy the shot of the dude standing in a mountain range somewhere playing a barre C on the 12-string neck of his double-neck guitar whilst wearing the ever fashionable combo of sandals and socks. And a stupid hat.

Or you could go read some more of Heyman.

Sure, he plays guitar...but his true passion is hackey-sack.

[homer]

http://www.reverbnation.com/auriemma

Have a listen to some of the songs. Really. And then enjoy the shot of the dude standing in a mountain range somewhere playing a barre C on the 12-string neck of his double-neck guitar whilst wearing the ever fashionable combo of sandals and socks. And a stupid hat.

Or you could go read some more of Heyman.

"Lead vocals are the first thing that most listeners pay attention to, so a great performance is essential. Your lead vocals really grabbed us. We don't tag a lot of releases as having great lead vocals, so this is an excellent strength for you to have." HelloMusic.Com Staff


Lead vocals.

[Gizzmonic]

CNN dedicated a lot of time to the UConn streak this morning.  They interviewed a former UConn player who's now in the WNBA.  She kept saying "I was sweating!" over and over again to indicate her excitement for her old team.  Of course, they did everything possible to equate it with Wooden's streak.  Ignoramuses!

[Ron Brand]

UConn's streak makes women sweat. UCLA's streak made ladies perspire.

[Guinness]

UConn's streak makes women sweat. UCLA's streak made ladies perspire.

What did Alkie's streak make them do?

[HudsonHawk]

CNN dedicated a lot of time to the UConn streak this morning.  They interviewed a former UConn player who's now in the WNBA.  She kept saying "I was sweating!" over and over again to indicate her excitement for her old team.  Of course, they did everything possible to equate it with Wooden's streak.  Ignoramuses!

At least she didn't call them a bunch of nappy-headed whores.

[BizidyDizidy]

At least she didn't call them a bunch of nappy-headed whores.

Of course not - that's Rutgers.

[Gizzmonic]

At least she didn't call them a bunch of nappy-headed whores.

Maybe if she was bucking for a show on Fox Business Channel.

[Jose Cruz III]

What did Alkie's streak make them do?

Leave him.