Dear Mr. McClane

[Rebel Jew]

What us fans really want:

1.  Beer that costs half what it currently costs
2.  Food that costs half what it currently costs
3.  Food that doesn't taste like, and isn't made of, slop
4.  Affordable tickets that aren't up in the rafters
5.  A stadium that isn't whored out to a crooked corporation or cheap juice maker
6.  Crooked owners who stop ripping off taxpayers for stadiums
7.  A firm denunciation of steroid abusers and those who have enabled steroid abusers past, present, and future
8.  An end to the put up or shut up culture that encourages people, and sends a message to our children to revel in and crave the failure of good people

-Joey Trum

[Noe]

What us fans really want:

1.  Beer that costs half what it currently costs
2.  Food that costs half what it currently costs
3.  Food that doesn't taste like, and isn't made of, slop
4.  Affordable tickets that aren't up in the rafters
5.  A stadium that isn't whored out to a crooked corporation or cheap juice maker
6.  Crooked owners who stop ripping off taxpayers for stadiums
7.  A firm denunciation of steroid abusers and those who have enabled steroid abusers past, present, and future
8.  An end to the put up or shut up culture that encourages people to revel in and even crave the failure of good people

-Joey Trum

And world peace.

[Rebel Jew]

And world peace.

world peace is more likely, i think

[Craig]

What us fans really want:

1.  Beer that costs half what it currently costs
2.  Food that costs half what it currently costs
3.  Food that doesn't taste like, and isn't made of, slop
4.  Affordable tickets that aren't up in the rafters
5.  A stadium that isn't whored out to a crooked corporation or cheap juice maker
6.  Crooked owners who stop ripping off taxpayers for stadiums
7.  A firm denunciation of steroid abusers and those who have enabled steroid abusers past, present, and future
8.  An end to the put up or shut up culture that encourages people, and sends a message to our children to revel in and crave the failure of good people

-Joey Trum

9. And to reliably get the games on my TV, instead of having to navigate the stupid fucking blackout rule.

[HudsonHawk]

And a pony.

[davek]

world peace is more likely, i think

whirled peas is even more likely...

[Andyzipp]

What us fans really want:

1.  Beer that costs half what it currently costs
2.  Food that costs half what it currently costs
3.  Food that doesn't taste like, and isn't made of, slop
4.  Affordable tickets that aren't up in the rafters
5.  A stadium that isn't whored out to a crooked corporation or cheap juice maker
6.  Crooked owners who stop ripping off taxpayers for stadiums
7.  A firm denunciation of steroid abusers and those who have enabled steroid abusers past, present, and future
8.  An end to the put up or shut up culture that encourages people, and sends a message to our children to revel in and crave the failure of good people

-Joey Trum

If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

If I had two wishes I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.

You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe.

And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife can come too and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it.

Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth!

So -- we reorganize!

Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we got with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

Thank you everybody and Merry Christmas.

[Taras Bulba]

Frank Capra lives.

[ValpoCory]

What us fans really want:

1.  Beer that costs half what it currently costs
2.  Food that costs half what it currently costs
3.  Food that doesn't taste like, and isn't made of, slop
4.  Affordable tickets that aren't up in the rafters
5.  A stadium that isn't whored out to a crooked corporation or cheap juice maker
6.  Crooked owners who stop ripping off taxpayers for stadiums
7.  A firm denunciation of steroid abusers and those who have enabled steroid abusers past, present, and future
8.  An end to the put up or shut up culture that encourages people, and sends a message to our children to revel in and crave the failure of good people

-Joey Trum

Once people figure out out to spell Drayton's last name, those things will be done.

[Limey]

Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we got with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

Thank you everybody and Merry Christmas.

Come one, Andy!  First you get the money...

[BudGirl]

Come one, Andy!  First you get the money...

then an iphone?

[Houston]

4.  Affordable tickets that aren't up in the rafters
our children to revel in and crave the failure of good people

-Joey Trum

If you compare Astros tickets prices to many other teams, especially here on the East Coast, you may have a different perspective. Astros tickets are pretty reasonably priced.

Oh, and if you send this to Drayton, his name is McLane. He might take you a little more seriously. Or not...

[Fredia]

What us fans really want:

1.  Beer that costs half what it currently costs
2.  Food that costs half what it currently costs
3.  Food that doesn't taste like, and isn't made of, slop
4.  Affordable tickets that aren't up in the rafters
5.  A stadium that isn't whored out to a crooked corporation or cheap juice maker
6.  Crooked owners who stop ripping off taxpayers for stadiums
7.  A firm denunciation of steroid abusers and those who have enabled steroid abusers past, present, and future
8.  An end to the put up or shut up culture that encourages people, and sends a message to our children to revel in and crave the failure of good people

-Joey Trum

and maps of world so people can find out where the united states is..

[Limey]

and maps of world so people can find out where the united states is..

Begs the question: "Is our children learning?"

[Andyzipp]

Begs the question: "Is our children learning?"

It would be helpful to South Africa and The Iraq.

[Astroholic]

It would be helpful to South Africa and The Iraq.

Id hit it.

[Andyzipp]

Id hit it.

She's not the type to marry, or even have a conversation over breakfast with, but she does have certain assets which make spending brief amounts of time worth it.

http://www.lockemanagement.com/portfolio/pictures/02140710421479.jpg

[Astroholic]

She's not the type to marry, or even have a conversation over breakfast with, but she does have certain assets which make spending brief amounts of time worth it.

http://www.lockemanagement.com/portfolio/pictures/02140710421479.jpg

Well said.

[Phil_in_CS]

Come one, Andy!  First you get the money...

no kidding; 30 mil a month and the rest of the problem solve themselves.

[Astroholic]

She's not the type to marry, or even have a conversation over breakfast with, but she does have certain assets which make spending brief amounts of time worth it.

http://www.lockemanagement.com/portfolio/pictures/02140710421479.jpg

"I hate to admit it, but yes, I swear to you, I really thought Chicken of the Sea was actually chicken. That's how I really think."

[Limey]

She's not the type to marry, or even have a conversation over breakfast with, but she does have certain assets which make spending brief amounts of time worth it.

http://www.lockemanagement.com/portfolio/pictures/02140710421479.jpg

Looks a bit like Jan Levinson.

[Astroholic]

Looks about like Jan Levinson.

Okay.....

[Ty in Tampa]

It would be helpful to South Africa and The Iraq.

Will somebody think of the U.S. Americans?

[David in Jackson]

And a pony.

and dinner with Milo at the Kissimmee Steak House with drinks on the house!

And a Red Rider BB gun.

[MusicMan]

and dinner with Milo at the Kissimmee Steak House with drinks on the house!

And a Red Rider BB gun.

You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

[Astroholic]

And a Red Rider BB gun.

With a compass in the stock

[MRaup]

With a compass in the stock

And one of those things that tells time.

[Limey]

And one of those things that tells time.

Sundial.

[Dobro]

Will somebody think of the U.S. Americans?

I read an article somewhere online where the author defended her "U.S. Americans" comment and described it as intelligent, citing that Mexicans and Canadians are technically considered Americans, too, and without the distinction there's no way of knowing that she was speaking specifically about the people of the United States.

I got a kick out of it.

[Houston]

I read an article somewhere online where the author defended her "U.S. Americans" comment and described it as intelligent, citing that Mexicans and Canadians are technically considered Americans, too, and without the distinction there's no way of knowing that she was speaking specifically about the people of the United States.

I got a kick out of it.

Me and all my friends, we're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and there's no way we ever could
We see everything that's going wrong with the world and those who lead it
It just seems that we can't buy the maps to rise above and beat it.

[S.P. Rodriguez]

Me and all my friends, we're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and there's no way we ever could
We see everything that's going wrong with the world and those who lead it
It just seems that we can't buy the maps to rise above and beat it.

Are you just waiting... waiting for an original song to spew forth?

[astrox]

Me and all my friends, we're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and there's no way we ever could
We see everything that's going wrong with the world and those who lead it
It just seems that we can't buy the maps to rise above and beat it.

So beat it, beat it - go buy a map and read it.
Help South Africa, help The Iraq
The U.S. Americans should go by a map and read it read it read it read it (such as) read it read it read it read it