JULY 4, 2007Astros 3, Phillies 8W: Hamels (10-4) | L: Sampson (6-6)
Ben DuBose tells you what's what at Astros.comYahoo! AP Recap!
If you're really, deeply interested, the Astros lost today. Still won the series though, and I ain't complaining. In a nutshell, the Phillies played a little long ball to break it open, and the Good Guys racked up the hits, but were pooductive when it mattered. You can read all about it
here, if you're so inclined. I have some other things that I'd like to briefly touch on.
America... Fuck Yeah!As the muggy night air around me carries the cracking and screaming of a thousand wonderfully bad decisions with short fuses and unpredictable trajectories, I am buoyed both by the spirit of our great Republic, and by one of its noblest contributions to the world, the humble Tennessee whiskey. And it occurs to me that just like every other hard-working shlep, I am entitled to my day of vacation, and by God I shall have it.
Tonight is a time for plastic lawn chairs, for mosquito repellent, for keeping the spigot open and the brown liquor flowing, and, most of all, for laughing at the idiot neighbor who is now on fire and running in the street. Do not run, good neighbor! You, sir, are a proud American. Stop, drop, and roll your way to glorious freedom from the tyranny of your self-inflicted blaze. Your heroic and drunken resolve in the face of common sense and basic survival instinct is the very cornerstone of our democracy. I raise my glass to you, and pour it on that last stray eyebrow flame.
So, as my heart swells with patriotism and recap-avoiding laziness (recapathy?), I leave you all with a few things that are awesome, and worthy of your noting. Tip your plastic cups and 12-ounce bottles to Lady Liberty, you magnificent sons of bitches, and don't you dare forget what makes this country great, in no specific order.
Hats off, America, you're the best.
