Author Topic: 101 Simpsons Quotes (Read 5760 times)

Andyzipp · « **on:** July 19, 2007, 04:11:42 pm »

This is one blogger's attempt at putting together a best quotes list. Seemed good for time wasting on an off day...

http://blogzarro.com/?p=223

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

Kent's Moustache · « **Reply #1 on:** July 19, 2007, 05:34:38 pm »

They omitted one of my all-time favorite Grandpa Simpson lines:

[In response to Bart's complaint that he got a spanking from former President Bush.]

Grandpa: "That's NOTHIN'! I was once spanked by Grover Cleveland on two non-consecutive occasions."

BTW, I was initially skeptical about the soon-to-be-released "Simpsons" movie, until I saw the trailer. The "Spider Pig" bit alone makes me weep.

BossierNaut · « **Reply #2 on:** July 19, 2007, 08:56:22 pm »

...OK, Brain...you don't like me...and I don't like you...

..Now let's just get this over with so I can get
back to killing you with beer....

HurricaneDavid · « **Reply #3 on:** July 19, 2007, 09:53:35 pm »

Wiggum: "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say, blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah..."

Homer: "OHHHH MY GODDDDD!!!!!! TRA-MAP-OLINE!!!! TRA-BOB-OLINE!!!!!"

Roy Patterson: "It's so gratifying to leave you wallowing in the mess you've made. You're screwed, thank you, bye."

austro · « **Reply #4 on:** July 19, 2007, 10:10:25 pm »

Homer: Awww ... 20 dollars!? I wanted a peanut.
Homer's brain: 20 dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer: Woo hoo!

Fredia · « **Reply #5 on:** July 19, 2007, 10:15:18 pm »

Quote from: austro on July 19, 2007, 10:10:25 pm

Homer: Awww ... 20 dollars!? I wanted a peanut.
Homer's brain: 20 dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer: Woo hoo!

sounds like the way that the dq might think except replace 20 with 20 million or so
cant wait to see the movie...

homer · « **Reply #6 on:** July 19, 2007, 10:25:56 pm »

Bart, with ten thousand dollars we'd be millionaires. We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love!

JackAstro · « **Reply #7 on:** July 19, 2007, 11:19:55 pm »

Maybe it's the beer talking, Marge, but you've got a butt that won't quit. They've got these big chewy pretzels here mmmmrmble mrmmb mmrmm FIVE DOLLARS?!? Get outta here...

kevinG · « **Reply #8 on:** July 20, 2007, 12:04:42 am »

When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany. Like that movie.... Spaceballs. But instead, it was dark and disturbing, like that movie Police Academy.

Hank Scorpio (at the controls of doomsday device): What's your least favorite country? Italy or France?
Homer: France.
Hank Scorpio: Hah. Nobody ever says Italy.

Guinness · « **Reply #9 on:** July 20, 2007, 03:53:46 am »

My favorite:

“The metric system is the tool of the devil! My car gets forty rods to the hogshead and that’s the way I likes it.”

Grandpa is great...

Gizzmonic · « **Reply #10 on:** July 20, 2007, 09:04:54 am »

My personal favorite:

Marge : There's a man here who says he can help you.
Homer : Is it Batman?
Marge : He's a scientist.
Homer : Batman's a scientist.
Marge : It's not Batman!

Or just "Batman's a scientist," if you're into the whole brevity thing. Nonsensically delightful to me, as I am to myself at times!

Quote from: Andyzipp on July 19, 2007, 04:11:42 pm

This is one blogger's attempt at putting together a best quotes list. Seemed good for time wasting on an off day...

http://blogzarro.com/?p=223

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

WulawHorn · « **Reply #11 on:** July 20, 2007, 09:08:22 am »

My two favorites are the nelson- shoplifting is a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark and

Homer- sarcastically- Oh, and what would we call this magical animal lisa (when lisa tells him that you get bacon, pork chops, hot dogs, sausage etc. from the same animal).

Astroholic · « **Reply #12 on:** July 20, 2007, 09:27:16 am »

Quote from: WulawHorn on July 20, 2007, 09:08:22 am

My two favorites are the nelson- shoplifting is a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark and

Homer- sarcastically- Oh, and what would we call this magical animal lisa (when lisa tells him that you get bacon, pork chops, hot dogs, sausage etc. from the same animal).

Love the pig one two. "Yeah right Lisa"

Mike S · « **Reply #13 on:** July 20, 2007, 09:50:38 am »

Quote from: Andyzipp on July 19, 2007, 04:11:42 pm

This is one blogger's attempt at putting together a best quotes list. Seemed good for time wasting on an off day...

http://blogzarro.com/?p=223

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

Lisa: "You're Troy McLure! I remember you from such school filmstrips as, 'Locker Room Towel Fights - The Blinding of Eddie Driscoll.'"

Troy McLure: "You know, I was the first one to speak out against horseplay."

MusicMan · « **Reply #14 on:** July 20, 2007, 10:00:19 am »

Quote from: austro on July 19, 2007, 10:10:25 pm

Homer: Awww ... 20 dollars!? I wanted a peanut.
Homer's brain: 20 dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer: Woo hoo!

Without a doubt, my all-time favorite.

MRaup · « **Reply #15 on:** July 20, 2007, 01:14:32 pm »

Homer(asleep while guiding his giant pile of sugar): In America... First you get the sugar. Then you get the power. Then you get the women...

or

Smithers: People like dogs, Mr. Burns.
Burns: Nonsense. Dogs are idiots! Think about it, Smithers.
If I came into your house and started sniffing at your
crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would
you say?
Smithers: ... If <you> did it, sir?

OR

Marge: Homer, are you licking toads again?

Homer: I'm not NOT licking toads!

drew corleone · « **Reply #16 on:** July 20, 2007, 01:21:23 pm »

Ralph: "When I grow up, I want to go to Bovine University."

Lionel Hutz: "I move for a bad court thingy."
Judge: "A Mistrial?"
Lionel Hutz: "Right."

JackAstro · « **Reply #17 on:** July 20, 2007, 01:29:46 pm »

Is it about my cube?

JackAstro · « **Reply #18 on:** July 20, 2007, 01:35:03 pm »

Quote from: Astroholic on July 20, 2007, 09:27:16 am

Love the pig one two. "Yeah right Lisa"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJqx-AvUjCg

pravata · « **Reply #19 on:** July 20, 2007, 01:47:51 pm »

Not on the list,

Homer: Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment. Marge: Are you going to eat it?
Homer: [pause] Yes.

Also, in the Monorail episode,

"I call the big one Bitey."

I use both of these quotes almost every day.

HudsonHawk · « **Reply #20 on:** July 20, 2007, 02:05:28 pm »

Homer: So you think you know better than this family, eh? Well as long as you're in my house you'll do what I do and believe what I believe! So butter your bacon!

Bart: But dad, my heart hurts!

Homer: ... Bacon up that sausage, boy!

HudsonHawk · « **Reply #21 on:** July 20, 2007, 02:12:49 pm »

Marge: Grandpa...are you sitting on the apple pie?

Grandpa: I sure hope so.

Trey · « **Reply #22 on:** July 20, 2007, 02:32:23 pm »

Bart reading Homer's thoughts:
Boy, I know you can hear me, and I just have one thing to say to you. Meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow...

ybbodeus · « **Reply #23 on:** July 20, 2007, 02:34:53 pm »

"We're here...we're queer...we're going to drink your beer!"

Trey · « **Reply #24 on:** July 20, 2007, 02:36:20 pm »

Quote from: Trey on July 20, 2007, 02:32:23 pm

Bart reading Homer's thoughts:
Boy, I know you can hear me, and I just have one thing to say to you. Meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow...

Crappy version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ol52h7FlOQk

Lurch · « **Reply #25 on:** July 20, 2007, 02:52:32 pm »

Compuglobalhypermeganet

Frobie · « **Reply #26 on:** July 20, 2007, 03:13:01 pm »

Since it's Friday:

Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebräu?

Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.

Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

ValpoCory · « **Reply #27 on:** July 20, 2007, 03:15:34 pm »

Robert Wagner: So lets all give menopause a round of menapplause. Menapplause? I'm not saying that!

Audio:
http://www.lardlad.com/assets/quotes/season16/GABF06.shtml

And one of the best. Gary Busey.

"I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, Joe is me. And Mary is a composite of 12 different women and a small independent film company all of whom couldn't deal with me because I'm too real."

http://www.leechvideo.com/video/view1508249.html

Hornstros · « **Reply #28 on:** July 20, 2007, 04:26:57 pm »

Sideshow Bob attempting to get parole:

Lawyer: Well what about that tattoo on your chest...doesn't it say 'Die, Bart, Die'

Sideshow Bob: No. That's German for 'The, Bart, The'

Parole Board: No one who speaks German could be an evil man. Parole granted.

Lefty · « **Reply #29 on:** July 20, 2007, 04:47:27 pm »

Itchy & Scratchy producer to table of writers:

"Listen Up Leaches! I want to show you what you couldn’t get at your expensive Ivy League schools: Life Experience."

"Well, I wrote my thesis on life experience."

Kent's Moustache · « **Reply #30 on:** July 21, 2007, 01:19:45 am »

Krusty: So he's proactive, huh?

Producer: Oh, God, yes. We're talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.

Writer: Excuse me, but proactive and paradigm? Aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? [pause] Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that. [pause] I'm fired, aren't I?

Author Topic: 101 Simpsons Quotes (Read 5760 times)

Andyzipp

Guinness

pravata