WP: Lyles (2-7, 5.02)
LP: Bumgarner (7-12, 3.68)

The Link

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Gargoyle watching the bouncing ball
Strangers mystified by all
All the goings on

Sufficiently breathless
Sufficiently breathless

Hearing and watching all the city sounds
No one to care about us
Seems it’s falling down around us

Sufficiently breathless
Nothing left to live for
Sufficiently breathless
Nothing left to live for
Sufficiently breathless
Nothing left to live for
Sufficiently breathless
On the street where we live

WP – F. Rodriguez (2-0, 2.45)
LP – Boggs (0-3, 3.10)

ST. LOUIS (SnS) – The slumping Houston Astros rode a fine starting performance by Bud Norris and some solid relief work to outlast the St. Louis Cardinals here Wednesday night, 4-2. The win broke a five–game losing streak for the Astros, and insures they’ll leave St. Louis taking at least one game in this series (the 4-game set wraps up tomorrow evening at 7:15 CDT.)

The Astros are now 5-17 in July, and are currently on pace to win just under 50 games for the season, which would be truly historic. They were able to forget that for a night, playing the division leading Cardinals tough for the entire game, before a lightning strike two-run ninth allowed them to grab the win. Clint Barmes started off the scoring with a two-run ding-dong in the top of the 2nd. The ball actually went several rows deep into the left field stands, which technically are not on the field of play, so the umpires felt confident calling it a home run. The Cardinals clawed back after that, scoring single runs in the 4th and 6th, the latter after which Norris was done. He pitched six tough innings in the heat and held the Cardinals, the top scoring team in the NL, to two runs. Meanwhile the Cards Chris Carpenter kept working his way out of jams. Somehow the Astros prevailed, even though they were severely handicapped by the absence of the stellar bat and stellar-er glove of ace right fielder Hunter PENCE!!!, who was taking a much deserved night off (sitting by the phone, waiting to hear if it would be Philly? Or Atlanta? . . . I don’t know if he cares which . . . I know we don’t.)

Rookie hitting machine Jose Altuve had three more knocks tonight, as did Jason Bourgeois, hitting in Pence’s spot (two of his three hits were of the infield variety). Michael Bourn, Chris Johnson, and Barmes all pitched in with two hits apiece. Fernando Rodriguez and Mark Melancon followed up Norris with scoreless relief work to nail down the win.

Tomorrow will get here soon enough, plenty of time to start a new losing streak and plumb new depths of futility. For tonight, we are winners, Astros fans! Let’s bask in it, in the manner we normally bask in things. Me, I’m putting on my canvas trunks and flip-flops and grabbing a fifth of Canadian Hunter and walking down the street to see if my neighbor is still up. If she is, I am going to . . . okay, I know, too much information. I’ll just say the night is still young, and I intend to celebrate this rare win in a manner befitting any proper Orangewhoopass, er, Spikes ‘n’ Stars resident. I will uphold our standards of decorum, fear not!

Give me an inch, girl
I’m in need of you
Don’t leave me in the cold
When I want to trust in you

Give me an inch, girl
Don’t turn me away
Life can be a worry
When it’s all work and no play

WP: Escalona (2-1, 2.60)
LP: Veras (2-3, 3.02)

HOUSTON (SnS) – The slumping Houston Astros staged an unlikely comeback after blowing an early lead here Saturday night, and topped the Pittsburgh Pirates, 6-4, before a reported crowd of 35,000 (which is a fucking joke, by the way.) In a game where both starting pitchers, Paul Maholm for the Pirates and Bud Norris for the Astros, struggled from the get-go, it was a testament to the lack of prowess of both team’s offenses that it was a relatively low-scoring affair, anyway.

Happy days are here again
The time is right for making friends
Let’s get together, how about a quarter to ten?
Come tomorrow, let’s all do it again

The Astros staked Norris to a three-run lead early, highlighted by a Jeff Keppinger line-drive home run to left in the bottom of the third. Norris got through the first few innings getting Pirates out but running up his pitch count. Still, he hung onto a 3-0 lead into the fifth, when he gave up a solo HR to Neil Walker. He gave up two more solo shots in the sixth, to Lyle Overbay and Brandon Wood starting off the inning. He never made it to the end of the sixth. A double and a couple more singles later, and the Astros were behind, 4-3.

The Pirates lifted Maholm after the fifth, and went to their normally reliable bullpen. Those guys held the line until the bottom of the eighth, when the Astros exploded – a relative term – for three runs, stitching together some bleeding hits with a Pirate error or two. Now up 6-4 going into the ninth, Astros manager Brad Mills brought in Mark Melancon, who he apparently had forgot about since misusing him three weeks ago in a game against the Marlins. Melancon, who had pitched three innings all this month, is apparently immune to his manager’s inability to manage a pitching staff, and pitched a flawless ninth for the save.

Boys will be boys, better let them have their toys
Girls will be girls, cute pony tails and curls
Must put an end to this stress and strife
I think I want to live the sporting life

None of it matters, of course. I am glad for the win and all, but within a couple of weeks from now, whatever major league talent is left on this club will likely be stripped from it and given traded away, and the Astros will be left with nothing but has-beens and never-wases; which is actually not all that far from where they are now.

Rumor has it that it’s getting late
Time marches on . . . just can’t wait
The clock keeps turning, why hesitate?
You silly fool, you can’t change your fate

Pardon me for my cynicism, and the lack of enthusiasm and/or effort put into this summary. Hopefully soon, McLane will sell the fucking team, already; presumably Mills, et al, will soon after get their walking papers; and after that hopefully some plan will emerge from somewhere about what to do with this franchise before it sinks so low that it cannot reasonably recover, leaving Houston fans looking at something like 18-straight seasons of losing, hapless baseball, like the Pirates are just emerging from. I think we are closer to that scenario than some may realize. Major League baseball is mostly treacherous fucking waters, and you can’t just walk out of the fucking wheelhouse en masse and let the ship go where it might, goddamnit. The reefs and rocks and shallows are everywhere, and I am guessing the Astros Valdez is due to encounter one or more of them before it is all said and done. It’ll be left to those still hanging in with this team to clean up the resultant mess.

Thanks a lot McLane, you motherfucker.

Check back with me if and when the Astros are acting like they give a fuck and are actually trying to build a winning franchise again. That is when I’ll give a fuck and try to write a decent goddamn recap.

Let’s cut a rug, a little jive and jitterbug
We want the best, we won’t settle for less
Don’t be a drag, participate
Clams on the half shell and roller-skates
Roller-skates

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