Minute Maid Park, August 29 – September 1, 2013

Prologue: Yes, I’m running a tad behind (or in this case substantially behind)…. As usual… I wish I could say this is simply an OWA-related issue… But… It isn’t… In fact as writing goes, its par for the course… And to be perfectly honest with you, it drives me bat-shit crazy! [Note: not in the ‘bat-shit crazy’ vein that some have may have accused me of being/known me to be in the past, rather more in the ‘annoys the heck out of me’ bat-shit crazy vein…]. Nevertheless, here I am, and here we are, so let’s make the best of this, shall we?!? [Or at a minimum, at least please accept my apology for being any unreliable piece of crap when it comes to the timely posting of OWA Series Previews…].

Anyway… here goes it… your (1+ day late) Astros vs. Mariners Series Preview.

I’m a Texan, born and bred. Grew up a Texan. Will die a Texan. And though my heart is and will always be that of a Texan, I live in the Pacific Northwest – been here since ’94 and will likely be here until the day I die (an event which I am somewhat certain will be related to a person snapping and killing me because of yet another last-second writing project completion…). And for the most part, at least as far as (non-bandwagoneering) baseball fan affiliations go, the Northwest is Mariners country. And over the years, to the extent that I ‘had’ to choose a favorite American League team, I guess the Mariners were it. That changed this year of course, but I’ve no desire to re-visit that ‘issue’ other than to say FYB!!!

Though the change to the AL has been nothing less than a monumentally sucktacular happening from my vantage as an NL Astros fan, I’ve nevertheless sucked it up, put on my ‘happy face’, and continued to follow the team. I tried not to, believe me I tried, but at the end of the day I just can’t quit [them]. One of the reasons seems to stem from my status as a ‘displaced Texan’ (and Houstonian). Even though I’m 2,000+ miles away from (what I will always consider to be) home, something about watching and rooting for the Astros gives me a sense of connection with the place my heart will always call home. Additionally, through my association with The Bus Ride, I’ve been watching many of these kids (the Future Astros) for so long, it proved impossible for me simply to ‘turn my back on them.’ Further, and though it may seem a tad trite, I simply didn’t have a lot of choice in the matter. After all, my Astros ‘fandom’ is commonly known amongst not only my friends, but also most everybody that I practice against. And now that the Astros are an AL West team, my buddies (opposing counsel, general acquaintances, etc.) feel the need to talk shit about the Astros to someone, that someone is me. And it was going to be me whether I remained an Astros fan, or had renounced my fandom thereof, so I might as well stay the course. That said… as much as they’d looked forward to talking shit about the Astros to me is as disappointed as they’ve been now that they’ve had the opportunity… As a general matter, I’ve got a high-tolerance for listening to trash-talk as it is. And as far as the Astros go after two (going on three) 100+ loss seasons almost completely immune to Astros-suck related ramblings.

“I know everything he’s got to say against me,
I am white,
I am a fuckin bum,
I do live in a trailer with my mom,
My boy Future is an Uncle Tom.
I do got a dumb friend named Cheddar Bomb who shoots himself in his leg with his own gun,
I did get jumped by all 6 of you chumps ***
I’m still standin here screamin “FUCK THE FREE WORLD!”
-Eminem, 8 Mile (his words, not mine)

Call it “The Eminem Theorum of Shut the Heck Up” I guess… but… acknowledgement of the issues (mainly, yes, the Astros: are about to finish their third straight season as shittiest team in all of Major League Baseball; they strike out more at the plate than I do at last call; their current payroll is less than my monthly Kodiac and Diet Coke budget; etc., etc., etc.) has pretty much left them in stunned silence, unable to come up with anything of substance in retort. Moreover, I am able to (honestly) say with a straight face that while it is true that the Astros have sucked mightily for a while now, this soon shall pass… And try as they might to defeat my claims of the ‘Transient Nature of the Suckitude of Astros Baseball’, they’ve been unable to as I’ve got a shit-load* [*legal term of art] of evidence (albeit circumstantial) that I am right (as is usually the case when dealing with opposing counsel – or at least the way I choose to remember it), and they are wrong (which is also usually the case when dealing with opposing counsel – or at least the way I choose to remember it). But we’ll get to that evidence in a bit…

**********

Tonight marks the second game of a 7-game home stand (4 vs. SEA) for the Astros. Over their previous two series the Astros have gone 2-1 (series win vs. Toronto) and 1-2 (series loss vs. ChiSox) making them a .500 team over the past week or so (or in other words, a hell of a lot better than they have for most of the season). Things have not been so ‘rosy’ for the Mariners, however, as they came into town riding a 7-game losing streak (broken last night). My Mariners buddies remain unfazed, however, as they’ve already penned the next 4 games as wins for SEA, and have not yet given up hopes of finishing near the top of the AL West by seasons end. [Note: Dumbasses, each and every one of them].

Probable Match-ups:

8/29 (Game 1 of 4): RHP Jordan Lyles (6-6, 5.17) vs. RHP Erasmo Ramirez (4-1, 5.44)
Giveaways: Evidently, a win…

Per brief perusal of Ramirez career stats, it doesn’t appear that he’d faced any of the current Astros in MLB play prior to last night’s game. Nevertheless, it is probably safe to presume that he will set (or tie) his career single-game strikeout record.

As for Lyles, the current Mariners were 12-39 off of him prior to the game, with 1 HR and 4 BBs. Ackley (2-2), Franklin (3-6), and Morales (2-3) had hit Lyles well in limited plate appearances, but Ibanez (1-6), Chavez (1-6), Ryan (0-3), and Morse (2-7) had not faired as well.

Game 1 Postscript: HOU lost, 3-2. I was otherwise occupied last night (Hillsboro Hops 2nd to last game of their inaugural season, among other things…) so I didn’t see the game. Per my understanding around the office this morning, however, SEA loves Hoes. And Franklin and Guitierrez love hitting off Lyles… As for Ramirez, it appears I was wrong on my strikeout record prediction…he only tied his second-best single game strikeout performance.

8/30 (Game 2 of 4): RHP Brad Peacock (3-4. 5.67 ERA) vs. RHP Taijuan Walker (NR)
Promotions and Giveaways: Friday Night Fireworks; $1 Dog Night; American League Baseball (first 10,000 fans get a permanent reminder that W. Huber Selig is a waste of oxygen…); Cat Osterman Appreciation Night (seriously, what’s not to appreciate about Cat Osterman )

Friday night is slated to be Taijuan Walker’s Major League Debut. For those of you that aren’t familiar with him, Taijuan is “the shit”… Don’t know exactly how the rook will ultimately do in his MLB debut… but… I can absolutely guarantee that he will set and break his personal single game strikeout record when he faces the Astros.

As for Peacock, the kid throws a knuckle-curve so you gotta like that… Otherwise… The current Mariners are 11-37 off of him, with 4 of those 11 hits being home runs and 3 of the remaining 7 hits being doubles. Mariners have struck out three times against Peacock, and have walked twice. Only Brendan Ryan and Michael Morse have had their butts handed to them by Peacock.

8/31 (Game 3 of 4): LHP Dallas Keuchel (5-7, 4.82) vs. LHP Joel Saunders (10-13, 5.09)
Giveaways: Batting Practice Replica Jersey (Via Houston Methodist to the first 10,000 fans. This I wouldn’t actually mind having…)

Keuchel has faced the Mariners twice in his career, and is 0-1 with a hold. Keuchel’s loss against the Mariners came in a start in which he allowed 1 earned run (2 runs total) over 6.0 innings. Overall, the Mariners have hit .250 against Keuchel (7-28), with a home run and a walk to 7 strikeouts. Endy Chavez and Micheal Morse have had multiple hits (2 each) off Keuchel, and Michael Morse and Bredan Ryan both sport 0-fers (0-4) against him.

Saunders is 2-1 against the Astros this season, though they have hit him well (line: 5.94 ERA, 16.2 IP, 26 H, 11 R, 11 ER, 3 HR, 6 BB, 13 SO, .371 AVG). Among Astros knocking the tar off Saunders’ balls are Altuve (4-12, BB, SO), Barnes (4-6, 3B, HR, BB, SO), Jason Castro (3-6, 2B, 2 SO), and Matt Dominguez (3-8, BB, SO). For the love of all that is holy, let’s hope that Saunders does not set a career high single game strikeout record against the Astros. Dude sucks… that’d be annoying…

9/1 (Game 4 of 4): LHP Brett Oberholtzer (3-1, 2.91) vs. RHP Hisashi Iwakuma (12-6, 3.03)
Giveaways: You’ll get nothing and like it.

Oberholtzer has never faced the Mariners. Iwakuma is 2-1 against the Astros over 3 starts (line: 1.89 ERA, 19.0 IP, 17 H, 6 R, 4 ER, 1 HR, 6 BB, 26 SO, .239).  Here is how the current Astros have faired against Iwakuma.  Iwakuma set his single-game career-high strikeout mark against the Astros in April (11), so let’s hope he doesn’t do so again…

**********

Anyway… back to “this too shall pass”…

Now everybody from the [713] 
Put your mutha[friggin’] hands up and follow me

[Note: To clarify, nope, I am not an Eminem fan (or for that matter a Rap fan). Just trying to follow the OWA Series Preview Playbook here (mention some music that the masses may recognize in some form or fashion)… Or just finishing a thought… Either way, need you to bear with me just a little bit longer…]

Don’t fret, help is on the way!!! [Astros Affiliates (by the numbers, or however else I feel like asserting it at that particular moment)].

Astros MiLB Organizational Stats (via MLBFarm)
Win Percentage: 57.07% (second only to the Giants who are at 57.1%)
Wins: 464 (second only to the Mets who have 466 overall wins)
Home Runs: 595 (second only to the Mariners who have 604)

Astros MiLB Affiliates Standings:
Oklahoma City RedHawks (Triple-A): 80-60, clinched playoff berth (tied with Las Vegas 51s for best record in the 16-team Pacific Coast League)
Corpus Christi Hooks: 81-55, clinched playoff berth (best record in the 8-team Texas League).
Lancaster JetHawks: 80-56, clinched playoff berth (tied with San Jose Giants for best record in the 10-team California League)
Quad Cities River Bandits: 78-56, clinched playoff berth (third best record in the 16-team Midwest League)
Tri-City ValleyCats: 41-29, 1.5 games ahead of Lowell in the hunt for a playoff berth (best record in NYPL Stedler Division, third best record overall in the New York-Penn League)
Greeneville Astros: 38-29, clinched playoff berth (fourth best record in the 10-team Appalachian League)
Gulf Coast League Astros: 27-33, eliminated from playoff berth contention (tied for eleventh in 16-team Gulf Coast League, only Astros affiliate with a sub .500 record)
Dominican Summer League: 39-31, eliminated from playoff berth contention (third overall in 8-team DSL Bocha Chica Northwest division, twelfth overall in the 38-team Dominican Summer League)

Astros Prospects (including some second half promotions to HOU):

Astros are the top team in terms of “Prospect Points” of all MLB teams per MLB’s Mayo.

George Springer: 37/43, ‘nough said* (though if you want more, how about ‘6-tool’ player. [* actually, I’m not sure that that is ‘nough said… In the history of MLB and MiLB, there have only been 8 verified 40/40 seasons. Ever.  And George Springer has 3 more games to have the ninth. And ‘oh by the way’… the 37 home runs to date DO NOT INCLUDE the two home runs he hit in the Texas League All Star Game).
Carlos Correa: Stud.
Jonathan Singleton: true, he ain’t smokin’ ‘em like we might have expected him to do… but… he’ll get there)
DeLino DeShields, Jr.
Rio Ruiz
Domingo Santana
Nolan Fontana
Preston Tucker
Mike Foltynewicz: 103 MPH
Lance McCullers: 100 MPH pre-draft
Mark Appel: (legitimate) 1.1
Kyle Smith: 9.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R/ER, 0 BB, 9 SO
Luis Cruz: 9.0 IP, 2 H, 0 ER/R, BB, 14 SO
Asher Wojciechowski
Vincent Velasquez
Josh Hader
Nick Tropeano
And lest we forget second half MLB call-ups (among others): Jarred Cosart, Max Stassi, Jonathan Villar, etc., etc., etc.

In any event, I think you get the picture I’m trying to paint here… Sure, the 2013 Astros suck (as did the 2012 Astros and the 2011 Astros), but that won’t be the case too much longer… The Astros will be good (very good in fact) in the not-so-distant future, and it will be a beautiful thing to behold.
**********

Postscript: For what it’s worth, though this is ultimately the Series Preview that I posted, it is in no way, shape, or form the Series Preview that I intended to write. Believe it or not, I’ve spent a shit-load* [* reminder: legal term of art] of time writing, and re-writing, and re-writing an Astros vs. Mariners OWA Series Preview. Unfortunately, the preview posted is not remotely related to those that I’ve put forth legitimate effort on… (Not that I didn’t put forth ‘some’ effort on this, proofreading and editing notwithstanding (which I’ll get around to tomorrow), but still…).

I’ve been promising for a long time now that I’d write on ‘The Fall, and Subsequent Rise, of OSF’ (i.e. my personal battles with depression, and the war ultimately won (as long as I remain diligent that is, which I am)). And I tried, but (for the moment) was unsuccessful (not for any reason other than there is simply a lot that I wanted (and tried to) write on the subject, but could never really put words together enough to want to hit ‘post’ on). That post is probably better left to a ‘From Left Field’ submission in any event… And yes, I will eventually get around to submitting one on the subject… But until then, it’s been almost three years now that I feel like (and have had) my feet firmly planted beneath me. But this was far from my reality in January through June of 2009, which was the time that I *officially* met many of you.

To say that I was ‘beyond broken’ in February/March 2009 is a monumental understatement. Honestly, at that time, I was all but certain that “all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty together again.” Ultimately I would be proven wrong, but at the time I had no clue that it even “could be” possible to put together the broken pieces – much less that it “would be” that I would ultimately prove able to do so (and make the whole stronger to boot). And it is for that “would be” that I wanted to take an opportunity to say thanks to some of you who for what you meant to my life, and recovery, at the time. While some of you were privy to what was going on in my life at the time, most of you were not. Yet knowingly or not, you provided support to me at a time when I needed it so very much. So with that, let me simply say thank you Chuck, Budgirl, Mr. Happy, Jane Doe, Coach, Gleech, Homer, Bench, Limey, and so many others of you. Know it or not, you provided me with a ‘hand up’ when I needed it so very desperately.

And a note to those of you who may currently be fighting (and by your estimation losing) a battle with depression, please know that the war is not lost and in fact can be won. I’m living proof.

“The fog has finally cleared to see, 
The beautiful life You’ve given me.
***
Every next step is an extraordinary scene
I know that I’ve been given more than beyond measure
I come alive when I see beyond my fears          
I know that I’ve been given more than earthly treasures
I come alive when I’ve broken down and given You control.”
-Jeremy Camp, Beyond Measure

One of the pseudo-benefits of working on a trade floor is the round-the-clock tv’s that hang from the ceiling.  When the situation warrants, they can be tuned in to something genuinely interesting that provides a brief distraction from the usual drudgery.  March Madness?  It’s on CBS.  Major golf tourney?  You bet we’re on NBC or ESPN.  But most of the time, we’re treated to two channels: The Weather Channel and MSNBC.

Daytime MSNBC is all financial crap, bottle blondes reading teleprompter tips over the hypnotic tickers forever scrolling scrolling scrolling.  For some reason, Ashton Kutcher was on last week.  Probably something about Steve Jobs.   It’s white noise with white guys in bad suits.  It’s the channel most likely to be changed when there’s a compelling reason.

And then there’s The Weather Channel.  At this particular moment, there are two shirtless dudebro types prospecting for gold somewhere hot and dusty.  The array of programming after 9am on TWC is just mind boggling: masturbatory self-promotion from the storm dummies, the thinnest possible premises for reality shows (you try making cross-country trucking compelling enough to watch for 30 minutes straight), and the commercials.  Oh, the commercials.  They’ve got their elderly retiree and agoraphobic shut-in demographic in the crosshairs, and they’ve flipped the switch to full auto fire mode.  Self-lubricating catheters?  YOU BET.  Boner pills?  EVERY HOUR.  Showers with railings?  OH INDEED.  Every day, I watch Ethel from Boca Raton testify, with complete sincerity, about how “Now, I can have a bath!”

I guess by comparison, the trucking show actually is thrilling.  But to make the most tenuous connection to our subject at hand, catching TWC out of the corner of my eye a few times a day is what the  Astros season so far feels like.  The chances that I’m going to see something that shakes my faith in humanity, encapsulating our frailty and what passes for our entertainment is about the same for Gamecast on Astros.com as it is at 2pm on The Weather channel.

I can barely bring myself to bridge the emotional distance by turning on the tv for Astros games at this point.  Seeing the bullpen implode as expressed through tiny red and blue circles on an app or a website is more impersonal, more remote.  I think I like it that way, actually.

Tuesday, August 13th
9:05 PM CT, O.co Coliseum
Jordan Lyles (4-6, 5.40) v. Bartolo Colon (14-4, 2.75)

Lyles gets his first start against the A’s.  He faced Chris Young, and Chris Young won, to the tune of .556/.556/1.000.  Ouch.  Lyles has shown some good flashes this year in a way that sort of reminds me of Norris at this point in his career.  If he settles down, he could be a nice contributor when the team is actually competitive.
The Human Dugong got out of a Biogenesis suspension since he was suspended already last year, and so he continues to deal like he’s ten years younger.  How about that?  Motherfucker looks like they decided to make a live action Grimace movie.  Altuve is hitting .444 against him, and Castro has a homer.  Everyone else is kinda weak.  Story of the year, I know.

Wednesday, August 14th
2:35 PM CT, YOUR NAME HERE Coliseum
Jarred Cosart (1-0, 1.36) v. Jarrod Parker (8-6, 4.04)

The Highlight Of The Whole Season is still looking for win number two.  I wonder who we could pin that on, hmmm?  Anyone?  Anyone?  He hasn’t faced the A’s before.
The Jarrod with the slightly dumber spelling has solved about every hitter in the lineup except Villar, who’s 2-3 with a double off him.

Thursday, August 15th
2:35 PM CT, Pets.com Coliseum
Erik Bedard (3-8, 4.28) v. Sonny Gray (0-1, 1.80)

Let’s pause for a moment and thank the BBGs for giving us two day games on the West Coast.  Some of us are conserving sleep before the baby comes, and we appreciate it.  Bedard has pulled a pretty decent second half out of his ass, and I for one am grateful.  All hail Luhnow.  Coco Crisp HATES Bedard almost as much as Nate Frieman (grumble) loves him.
Sonny Gray looks so young, he’s like one of Leonardo DiCaprio’s sperm or something.  He’s a rookie who’s never faced the Astros, so everyone please reach under your seats as there’s a vomit bag there, and your nacho tray can be used as a floatation device.

Promotions

Tuesday: Free Parking!  And your car might even be there when you get back!

Thursday: Throwback Thursdays, so here’s hoping the A’s wear their yellow alternates, the Stros wear the gawdawful Oranges, and we can give some poor highlight editor at CSN a fucking seizure.

The biggest promotion, of course, is being able to leave Oakland.

Injuries
Astros:
Pride (out for season)
Altuve – sore quad
Castro – bruised hip
Crowe – shoulder sprain (15-day DL)
EGon – shoulder sprain (15-day DL)
J.D. Martinez – sprained wrist (15-day DL)
Alex White – TJ Surgery.

A’s
Brett Anderson – foot stress fracture.  Ouch.
Coco Crisp – Sore wrist.  Kind of a serial injury.  Ahem.
John Jaso – Concussion.  Treatment: grow out mullet.
Derek Norris – Back soreness.  Join the club, buddy.
Fernando Rodriguez – TJ Surgery
Scott Sizemore – Knee surgery.

What To Watch For
The Bullpen Bloodbath
The Sweet Embrace of Death

The POCKET HOSE

April 8, 2013

Seattle 3, Houston 0 (Box Score; Gamezone)

W: J. Saunders (1-1)

L: P. Humber (0-1)

S: T. Wilhelmsen (3)

There is something about Opening Day Baseball.  This holds true even if it is not really Opening Day (in fact a week after actual Opening Day, which is not really Opening Day anymore as W. Huber has decreed from upon high that there will be an official Opening Day game before Opening Day, but alas I digress), rather the home opener, and the opposing team’s home opener to boot.  Still, for the first time since the eternity of the most recent Void, baseball had found its way back to the Pacific Northwest.  Not only was baseball back in the Northwest, but the Astros were heading back to the Northwest for the first time since June 7-9, 2004 when the Astros took two of three from the Mariners.  I’d had the opportunity to attend game two of the series – it is was phenomenal.  Though the Astros were held to three hits on the night, a MoBerg sac-fly in the top of the seventh inning sent Bags home for the Astros only run of the night, which proved enough as Clemens-Lidge-Dotel managed to hold the Mariners scoreless. It was, to say, memorable for me as it was the first time I’d seen the Astros in person since I’d left the Houston area in late 1993/early 1994.

For me, however, the game last night had a very different ‘feel’ to it.  The Astros came into Safeco Filed not as a ‘curiosity’ via inter-league game, rather as a soon-to-be regular visitor to Safeco Field as the newest (and least regarded) member of the American League West.   And with that came a sense of unease, at times slowly eating away at the anticipation and excitement of being a part of Opening Day*esque festivities.   The Astros play the previous five games had only served to magnify this unease.  Still, Opening Day*esque baseball was back, and I was still looking forward to being a part of it.

And I was still looking forward to it even after two of my close friends who I’d invited to join me and my colleagues on  the trip to Safeco held us up from getting to the park for a collective hour-plus as they attempted to get their shit straight… Yes, I was annoyed (read: pissed off).  Fortunately, for the sake of my colleagues who actually wanted to see most of the Opening Day*esque baseball pre-game festivities, I drove like the proverbial bat out of hell’ and made up 30 minutes on the trip.  [Unfortunately, Washington loves their photo-radar machines and I am unconvinced that fortune may have shown brightly enough upon me yesterday to have avoided all (or even many) of the photo-radar sped-traps set up on I-5 North to Seattle].  That said, we arrived at Safeco safely, and in time to see many (but not all) of the Opening Day*esque festivities.  And in arriving at the park, whatever difficulties or apprehensions involved in so doing were instantly gone.  It was, after all, live baseball.  On a beautiful night. In a great venue.  And once again all seemed right with the world.

Admittedly, I was hoping (against hope) I would get the opportunity to witness an Astros win against ‘hated divisional foe’ the Seattle Mariners, but that was not to be (Astros lost 3-0).  I did, however, get to witness an encouraging outing from Astros’ starter Philip Humber (6.0 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 3 ER, BB, 2 SO, 1.11 WHIP, 3.09 ERA).  And, fortunately, I did not have to endure another 10-plus strikeout performance (8 on the night) by the Astros (and remained aware of the ‘K-Count’ throughout the game as my colleagues made every effort to ensure that I could not remain oblivious to Astros’ whiffs (either during the present game or for the Astros season-to-date)), so there is that.  Most importantly, however, I got to see baseball – Astros baseball (even if it was the craptastic version that we’ve seen since game two of the 2013 season).  And despite the loss, in being at a baseball game and enjoying all that goes along with being at a game, all was right with the world once again.

Astros vs. Braves series preview, part 2 (June 11, 2011).

While there are a lot of things to write about regarding the game tonight, I find myself coming back to the same topic: Brownie and JD. Probably doesn’t hurt that it is Broadcaster Bobblehead night, or that the Astros will be celebrating Bill Brown’s 25^th year with the club, but thoughts of the Astros broadcasters have been with me a lot this year.

While I am a big Vin Sculy fan, and find myself tuning into an occasional Bob Uecker broadcast as well, I cannot imagine a better team of broadcasters for the Houston Astros than Bill Brown and Jim Deshaies (with the occasional dash of Greg Lucas into the mix). Sure, they are very good at what they do, but it is something more than that.  To an extent, they have become extended family.

Every April through September, we invite them into our home and spend a couple of hours with them.  Personally, I’m always glad to see them, and miss ‘em like hell those four to five months a year they go on hiatus during the off-season.  In a weird way, they also tie us together.  Even when my mom is out of town and unable to watch a game on TV, I’ll still get texts asking about how the Astros did, but the primary questions are almost always about what humorous diversions JD and Brownie came up with for the evening.  There is always something to report, they never seem to disappoint.

I haven’t a clue what changes new ownership is going to make to the team, but if I had to chose one thing, and one thing only, to keep the same, it would be the combo of Brownie and JD in the booth (though I’d at least urge them to keep Bagwell’s Saturday home game appearances in the mix as well…).

Thank you for an entertaining 25 years Bill Brown, I hope there are plenty more to come!

Minute Maid Park:

Lyles vs. Minor:  Saturday, June 12, 6:05 p.m (Central).

20-year old Jordan Lyles makes his home debut for the Good Guys in this, his 3^rd major league start.  He’ll be matching up against 23-year old LHP Mike Minor, who will be making his 13^th major league appearance (12 starts).  Minor is 0-2 on the season with a 5.06 ERA, 1.68 WHIP, and a .388 BAA. He has faced the Astros once in his career (2010), and got a no-decision in 6 innings, allowing 5 hits, 4 runs, 3 earned runs, a walk, and 5 strikeouts. Brett Wallace is 1-2 against Minor with a double, but of course he will almost certainly be on the bench because, well, Minor is a LHP and that would be Mills’ MO for the 2011 season.

Injury report:

The Good Guys are still without the services of Castro and Q behind the dish and Wandy and Arias in front of it.  Hunter left last nights game with tightness in his lower back, but is in the lineup tonight for Houston.

Amazingly, the Braves DL does not include one Larry Wayne Jones.  It is littered with the likes of Martin Prado (“staph” infection, so they say), Nate McLouth and Brandon Beachy (strained each others “obliques,” if you buy into the Braves reporting anyway), Jayson Heyward (sore shoulder), and Peter Moylan (bulging “disk,” uh-huh).

Promotions:

Tonight is a Coca-Cola Value Zone night (as are every Friday and Saturday night in 2011), which means for $20 one receives a Mezzanine ticket, hot dog, 20 ounce Coca-Cola product and an Astros cap.

The real story on promotions is, however, this Brownie and JD Broadcaster Bobblehead (in case you’re wondering which is which, its on the right), which will be presented to the first 10,000 fans.  I know you’re probably thinking there is no way that the Astros will draw 10,000 fans, so you should be able to pick one up whenever you show up to the game, but such thoughts would be in error.  Brownie and JD Bobblehead people – that there is reason enough for even the most idiotic of Houston fans (yes, I realize the import of this comment) to show up for.

Discussion:

Though its been a tad slow in the Game Zone as of late, this is a Lyles start and Bagwell will be in the booth, so I’d imagine there’ll be plenty of banter there this evening.

(Alternative headline: Carlos who?)

05/03/2011: Astros 10, Reds 4

W: J.A. Happ (2-4); L: Leake (3-1, 30 hours community service)

Box Score (HRs: BF Johnson; Brett Wallace)

Game stories: Astros.com (McTaggart); Chron.com (Levine)

Lest you couldn’t figure it out from the title, yes that is three wins in a row by Your Houston Astros.  By the middle of the fourth inning, the outcome wasn’t particularly in doubt either, as the Astros ran Leake with a 6-spot in the top of the inning.

The Good (position player edition)

Clint Barmes: has shown he can handle the glove, and showed he may be able to do a little something with a bat as well: 2-4, R, 2 2B, 2 RBI;

Jason Bourgeois: Remains a joy to watch in the field, in the box, and on the bases: 3-5, 2 2B, 2 RBI, SB (but for an awesome play by Brandon Phillips, would have been 4-5);

Chris Johnson: Had a couple of throws sail on him (Wallace had his back though), but considering his night at the plate we’ll let him slide a bit for that: 2-5, 2 R, 3B, HR (est. 424’ feet), RBI;

Brett Wallace: Nothing but good stuff to say about the kid with the .383 average… He is patient at the dish and shows good discipline. Bagwell and Mills says that the power will come (and we got another glimpse of that Tuesday night), so there is that too.  Who knows, batting clean-up might not be such a bad thing for the kid: 2-5, 2 R, RBI, HR. Oh yeah, the kid doesn’t play a bad first base either…

The Good (pitchers edition)

J.A. Happ: Pretty much sailed through the first 4 innings having given up only a run, but ran in to a little trouble in the bottom of the fifth inning. Ended up with a solid performance overall though, and earned a ‘W’ so its all good: 6.1 IP, 8 H, 4 R, 4 ER, BB, 5 SO.  And yes, this is supposed to be the pitchers section… but… Happ had a good night at the dish as well, though he did lower his batting average to only .500: 1-3, R, RBI;
Relievers: For the most part relievers Del Rosario, Abad, Melancon, and Figuero came in and did what they were supposed to do. It might’ve gotten a tad dicey there for a second or two, but I’ll take the following line from Astros relievers any time: 2.2 IP, H, 0 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, SO.

Not a whole bunch more to say here – it was an entertaining and enjoyable game all around.  The Astros have two more against the Reds (Wednesday and Thursday at 11:35 CDT) before heading out to Pittsburgh for a 3-game set.  Go get ‘em boys!

I’ve watched too many spring games to believe that what you see in March is what you’ll see in April. But I wouldn’t mind seeing some consistency out of the projected starting pitching, some decent defense, no further base running injuries and maybe a little hitting out of the team’s touted prospects.

I’d dreaded recapping the last five games I’d seen. And so I hadn’t.  They were mostly shitfests, variations on the same theme. But apparently spicy Vietnamese crawfish give Limey an adrenaline burst and he managed to beat me to it. Thanks, Limey!

Let me first address the Bill Hall – Cole Hamels standoff. This is really all on Laz Diaz. Remember, Carlos had just hit a home run. Hall strides to the plate, raises his right hand to signal for time like he always does as he digs in and readies himself. I personally don’t think Hall takes an inordinately long time – he scrapes four or five times with his back foot, taps the bat, grabs it with the back hand and is ready to go. Hamels was obviously pissed that he’d left the last pitch up. I’d noticed that when Carlos emerged onto the on-deck area he didn’t use any sort of weight, he just had his bat and didn’t even swing it to warm up at all. He stood there with the bat on his shoulder and watched the warm-up pitches. He strode out into the batter’s box and smashed the first pitch he saw over the left field fence.

So Hamels is pissed. Hall enters the box and has his back hand up asking for time. He’s looking down at the dirt as he readies himself. I have no idea what Diaz was looking at because he’s just standing there with his hands hanging naturally, not signaling time out at all.  Hamels goes into his wind-up and about midway through Hall realizes that Hamels is trying to pitch to him right about the same time that Diaz realizes that he should have been signaling time out. Diaz waves his arms for time out and Hamels stops his delivery mid-stream.

Hall again raises his back hand, his right hand, and digs in. This time Diaz is raising his hands, too. Hamels ignores all of this and begins his motion. He’s still pissed and is intent to pitch. Hall seems to know that Diaz has time out so he’s not looking at Hamels, but Diaz is. Once Hamels gets into his wind-up Diaz shouts for time out and Hall, annoyed, steps out of the box entirely and takes a couple of steps, takes a breath, composes himself and does it all over again.

At last Hamels waits until Hall drops the hand and, more relevantly, until the home plate umpire gives him the signal to pitch. Hamels winds up and delivers a fastball high and tight, chest high, maybe ten inches off the plate. It’s not meant to hit Hall, but definitely meant to deliver a message. Hall steps out of the box with his left foot, right foot still in the box. He knows what’s happened, of course, but he’s calm. Hamels gets the ball back from Ruiz and turns towards the mound and after a step or two suddenly turns back towards the plate and shouts something at Hall. Hall stiffens up, surprised, and then strides towards the mound, shouting at the pitcher. Diaz immediately jumps in front of Hall and shoves him back although Hall never made a move to charge.

Hall is not the bad guy here. Hamels got taken deep, was a dick, was a dick again, threw inside to Hall and then chirped about it. Fuck that prick. Hall got a knock his next at bat and was followed by a Chris Johnson home run. When CJ crossed the plate Hall slapped his open palm forcefully on Johnson’s chest, shouting in catharsis.

What else?

Steele had, what, five at bats? He never managed to get the ball out of the infield. He’s fast, though, I can tell you that. Drew Locke gave the Phillies their tying run. With a runner on third he caught a fly in very shallow right and his throw sailed over the cutoff man and was at least fifteen feet up the line. It was a shockingly bad throw, worse than anything Pence could dream up. I have no idea why Martinez was sent back to the minors camp while the team continues to evaluate Steele, Shuck and Locke.

The Phillies’ winning run came on a colossal, Little League style fuck-up. Esposito was catching and with a fast runner on second he let a ball get through his legs. He definitely should have blocked it; it really wasn’t that hard a chance. As he jogged back to retrieve the ball the runner made an aggressive turn around third. Esposito fired to Navarro at third but mistimed the throw and gave Navarro a difficult throw to handle. The runner broke for home once he knew that the ball was coming back to third and made it easily. It was very, very ugly. Just for balance Corporan threw one into right field giving the Phillies a run. There were men on first and second and the runner on second stole third easily. This was with Figueroa pitching, and he paid no attention to the base runners at all. Corporan had the good idea of throwing to first but Wallace was tardy to the bag and the throw went wide. Free run.

Last thing – late in the game Q singled and took an unwisely aggressive turn himself. He beat the throw back to first but just barely. He slid awkwardly head-first back to the bag and lay there for some time in apparent pain. Great, I’m thinking, the team’s two starting catchers are out thanks to base running misadventures and we’re stuck with Moe Bandy.

Q got up finally. He was promptly advanced to second where he slid again, awkwardly, and the team immediately sent Bogusevic in to pinch run.

Opening Day at Osceola

Today was a lovely day for baseball and a thin crowd dominated by Braves fans opened Osceola County Stadium for the spring. We watched our guys get slapped around by the Braves for the second day in a row in another game where the final score means dick.

Let me relay two observations from previous days that I’d neglected to mention. At the plate Towles’ hands look very, very slow. He didn’t always look this disjointed. In fact, I remember a couple of years ago when he looked like a star in the making here in Orlando. His swing just looked very different to me in the intra-squad game and I started to watch him carefully. I noticed that in his stance and through his swing he appears to roll his right foot outward and put all of his weight on the outer edge of his foot almost like he’s on snow skis and is making a sweeping turn to the right. I can’t imagine how he maintains balance like that, and I certainly don’t see how he can have any sort of consistent rhythm in his swing.

That reminds me – yesterday Hunter was taking his first at bat and unadvisedly swung wildly at a pitch that was going to hit him. I know I’m straining credulity here, please bear with me for a moment. Hunter sort of leapt out of the way as he swung and somehow managed to foul the pitch off. Everyone on the Astros bench was laughing and Carlos, the batter on deck, looked over at the bench with a broad smile and shouted at his new hitting coach, Mike! Teach me how to do that!

The other thing I forgot to mention was during the intra-squad game Brett Myers (who looked great today, more on that in a moment) commandeered a spot on Clark’s bench and basically raised hell throughout the entire six inning game. It was playful – shouting at the umpires, yelling words of encouragement and derision at the pitchers and hitters, he’d pop up and position himself at the entrance of the dugout like any good Little League coach and pretend to give signs to the catcher pitch by pitch. The highlight came in the fourth or so when Myers, in the middle of the inning, ran out onto the field and accosted catcher Brian Esposito (who looks really strong behind the plate) with a baseball card, mockingly beseeching him for a signature. It was brilliant. Myers dashed out of the dugout and in three strides was beside Esposito, waving the card in his mask-obscured face. Before Esposito could complete the question, Dude, what the fu- Myers with perfect timing had turned around and was back in the dugout.

Myers looked very much in control today. If he starts here and builds, getting better steadily, he’ll at the very least replicate last year’s surprising performance. He threw strikes, he seemed to hit his spots, he looked very, very good for early spring.

Every pitcher looked pretty good, actually, with the exception of my man Urckfitz. He got hit pretty hard, mainly because he was not keeping the ball down at all. I’m excited about Rowland-Smith. He has a very nice breaking ball and decent velocity. If Arnsberg works some magic we may see a pretty good pitcher emerge.

After Heyward’s double he immediately and quite foolishly tried to steal third. Needless to say, Q threw his ass out.

Koby started and finished a nice 3-6-3 double play which is never routine with a right handed first baseman, especially one who’s not out there for his glove to begin with.

Bourgeois and Steele both made very nice diving catches charging in from center.

Sadly I’ll be absent from the next week’s slate of games but will be back in action on the 10th, just in time to host Mr and Miss Limey as they make a pilgrimage to Osceola for a long weekend of baseball, sun, and, if history is any guide, plentiful libations shared with Ty in Tampa.

Yes, it’s that time again. Goodbye void and hello baseball, Spring Training style.  And as usual, we don’t mess around here at SnS.  In keeping with our long-standing tradition of providing excellent, informative, and thought-provoking commentary here on the SnS front page, we’ve decided to bring back our man in the park for an encore edition of “Chuck, Live From Kissimmee.”

Chuck, Live from Kissimmee (pt. 1, 2/28/11)

For me the void ended on Sunday. I’d been in the Orlando area a couple of days by then and had seen a few workouts, but Sunday offered an intra-squad game and that seemed to me an appropriate marking of the beginning of spring and of the beginning of spring training.

The turnout on a very warm Sunday was incredibly light. The majority of the fans inside the complex seemed to be socially maladjusted autograph seekers. If you’ve ever been to spring training you know the type. Fuck me, maybe you ARE the type. If you have irreconcilable differences with basic social norms, break long periods of uneasy silence with machine gun bursts of random observations at an inappropriate volume, lug around enormous binders filled with baseball cards of every conceivable variety while two-strapping a large backpack surely filled with more of the same, wear free promotional caps and only free promotional caps, if your sandaled stride as you leg it across grass and asphalt in hysterical pursuit of the one minor leaguer you missed last year is remarkably reminiscent of Borat, then yes, you are the type. And I thank you for your lurking presence near the batting cages and the parking lot while I sat happily in the bleachers and watched the game in relative peace.

By the way, where the FUCK do you work?

For the second year in a row Koby Clemens brought his bat. Very few pitchers threw many offspeed or breaking pitches (with the strange exception of Douglas Arguello who threw all sorts of breaking balls) so it’s impossible to extrapolate what I’m seeing now but like last year I’m struck by the obvious fact that Clemens can hit. At the time I thought drafting him was purely a PR move (and it may have been), but he is plainly shaping up to be a major league hitter. His defense
though needs a lot of work. That’s a charitable way of saying he is terrible. He was hit two balls at first. He bobbled one and let the other pass right through the wickets. I’ve watched him in several workouts thus far as well and it doesn’t get any better there, either.  He works hard and doesn’t seem to let his errors eat at him, but he’ll need to improve dramatically to offer big league defense.

You’ll likely have read that Anderson Hernandez made a couple of very nice plays at third and Manzella also made an impressive play at third diving to stab a sharply hit ball up the line and springing up to fire out the runner easily. I got my first look at Jordan Lyles who looks very much like a pitcher out there and had no trouble getting through his inning 1-2-3.

After the game I wandered over to a field in the back and watched a group of high-level minor leaguers go through some fielding drills.  This was my second chance to watch Delino DeShields, Jr. Last year I read that the team was considering moving him in to second from the outfield. So far, I know not why. His hands are stony and his arm is inaccurate.  I mean, he’s 18 years old and since I’m a casual fan and not a professional scout I can’t project what I see today into what might be five years from now. I have no idea what Adam Everett looked like at 18, but I would have to guess that he looked a damn site better than DeShields does.

I’ll leave it at this – in every workout I’ve seen DeShields lines up in tandem with fellow second baseman Enrique Hernandez. Maybe you busriders know all about this Hernandez kid but I don’t. All I know is that he has great hands and shows a very accurate arm. I think he’s 20, not too much older than Delino. Hell, he’s almost old enough to drink. But watching the two side by side it’s obvious who’s the more advanced defensive player, by far.

I love watching the minor leaguers’ workouts. It’s amazing how fundamental many of the things they practice are – how to call for an infield popup for example. I really enjoyed a fast paced drill where the pitchers fielded balls and threw to various bases and into various situations as dictated by the coach in charge. Squeeze! or 1-5! Or 1-4-3! or In between! and the pitcher and the first baseman would both charge the ball and communicate who’d get it over to the second baseman. The fellow in charge of these drills by the way was Dave Borkowski. Again, the pace of these drills is incredibly fast; a new pitcher appears at the front of the line every few seconds to execute the play directed by Borkowski.

I also enjoyed watching the pitchers, catchers and infielders work on various bunting plays and a wheel play designed to pick off a runner on second base. An added bonus is I now know the current signs the catcher gives the infield for these plays.

This morning I attended the meet and greet the team hosts for the season ticket holders. It was about 120 elderly shut-ins, three or four of the hardcore autograph seekers and me. I tell you what, I have never heard so many people complaining about free Starbucks coffee. I guess Starbucks is too robust for the velcro-shoe set.

Wade and Mills came out and gave a bit of a pep talk. Good thing, too, because after a hearty fruit cup a lot of these folks were beginning to nod off. After they opened the floor to a Q&A one lady leapt up and declared that she had noticed an uptick in the paehshin of the club. Don’t you people from Michigan have your own team? I wondered.
Another codger stood up and braced himself against his walker as he demanded to know why the hell the team was planning to move to Disney after all the county had done for the team. No, this codger was not I, nor did I put him up to it. I did befriend him, though. I would guess he’s close to 70 and far more profane than I am. In our friendly chat he called me a prick, a bastard and cheerfully told me Fuck you!

Afterwards I watched the minor league guys do some infield drills and then take BP. Mixed in were some of the big league players who wouldn’t be making the trip to Disney, most interestingly Barmes and Hall. I didn’t see a whole lot of these two fielding but from what I did see they both look very good, very comfortable. They look like a tandem that’s been playing together for a while. And both of them showed considerable pop in BP. I’m fascinated to learn what the team does with the infield this year, who the back-ups are, whether Manzella makes the team. There’s no Geoff Blum, no guy who can play all the positions. I could see a guy like Jimmy Paredes having a shot.

On to Disney for the game. I hate that fucking stadium. I really do.  The bright spots were several, despite the final score. The Astros got lots of hits. Look at the box and you’ll see. Wallace, Lee, Steele, Pence ripped one, even Manzella had a couple of hits. Later in the game Paredes and Mier turned a tight double play. I was sitting directly behind Tal Smith and at the play he straightened up and clapped with excitement, the only time he displayed any emotion at all throughout the game. Castro effortlessly threw out some idiot who tried to advance to second on a ball that had bounced off of Castro’s chest.

All in all it was great to see our guys back out there again.

Houston 4, Colorado 3 (BOX)

Lopez (W, 3-0),  Lyndstrom (S, 14), Belisle (L, 1-2)

Bernardo Fallas (Chron.com) recap / Owen Perkins (MLB.com) recap

Gamezone

Monday’s game was ugly.  Tuesday’s game had a similar stink to it, with the distict possibility that it would be worse…  Michael Bourn getting a night off with Jason Micheals playing center in his stead. A lineup that put Keppinger in the lead-off spot and Manzella in the two-hole, Feliz, Michaels, Cash and Moehler batting 6 through 9.  Moehler making his third start of the season (after getting shelled in his first start and pitching a decent game in his second), this time against the Rockies, who absolutely rake against Moehler.  None of this things inspired confidence – an impending feeling of doom if you like…

The first inning, in fact the first for batters for the Rockies, only heightened the stench in the air. 4 straight hits by the Rockies, with no outs, led to three runs. JD: “It could go from bad to worse to flat out ugly here in a hurry…” .  Oddly enough, it didn’t.  Moehler got a strikeout on the next batter and got Helton to ground out into a double play in the next at bat.  Inning over, HOU 0, COL 3.

The 2nd inning went 3-up, 3-down for both teams.  In the 3rd inning, Moehler induced the Rockies into their second double play of the night, and ended up stranded 2.  HOU 0, COL 3.

You can’t throw that weak-ass shit to JEFF KEPPINGER, bitch! led off the top of the 4th with a double, and subsequently scored on a long single by Manzella.  Berkman flied out to left, Lee singled to left and then Spaz grounded into a 6-4-3 double play to end the top of the 4th.  HOU 1, COL 3.  Moehler pitched out of trouble in the bottom of the 4th, again leaving 2 Rockies stranded.  Through 4: HOU 1, COL 3.

Kevin Cash managed a single in the top of the 5th, but was left stranded at first.  Rockies had some traffic on the bases in the bottom of the inning, but the Astros end the inning by turning their 3rd double play of the night.  Through 5, HOU 1, COL 3.  The Astros went down in order in the top of the 6th (despite a scorcher hit by Manzella to third), but the ‘fun’ started in the bottom of the inning.  Olivo singled to start the bottom of the 6th.  With Helton up with no outs and 2 strikes, the Rockies put on the hit and run.  Helton whiffed and Olivo was thrown out by Cash for the strike ’em out, throw ’em out double play (the Astros 4th of the night).  The next batter, Mora, took a walk and then during Barmes’ at bat, good ole’ Balking Bob Davidson did what he does best -calling some weak-ass balk on Moehler. With 2 outs and a runner now in scoring position, the Astros intentionally walk Barmes to get to the pitcher, Francis.  Francis grounds out into a force at 3rd base to end the inning.  through 9, HOU 1, COL 3.

The Astros scored another run in the Top of the 7th with a double, and some heads-up base running by Lee on a shot by Spaz that was caught at the wall.  With Lee on 3rd base after tagging up on Spaz’ fly out, he was able to score on a broken bat roller by Feliz to the shortstop. Middle 7, HOU 2, COL 3.  Wilton Lopez took over the bottom of the 7th and set the Rockies down in order.  Through 7, HOU 2, COL 3.

Things got fun for the Astros in the top of the 8th.  Matty B. came in to pitch for Francis, and Michael Bourn came in to pinch-hit for Lopez.  Bourn started 1-2, but ended up lining a single to right (on the 7th pitch of the at bat).  With Keppinger up and the count 2-2, Bourn took off on a hit-and-run.  The ball was looped into center and Bourn had already passed 2nd base before he realized the ball would be caught, so he turned on the burners, touched 2nd and busted it back to 1st base to avoid being doubled off.  With Manzella at the plate, good ole’ Balking Bob Davidson called another horseshit balk, this time on Belisle, sending Bourn to second base.  Manzella then put down a sweet bunt single towards 3rd base.  1 out, runners at the corners.  Belisle was lifted at this point and replaced with Franklin Morales.  Berkman proceeded to ground into a force out at 2nd base, scoring Bourn. Tie ballgame.  With Lee in the box, Berkman hustled down to 2nd base for his 2nd steal of the year.  A soft fly single to left put the Astros up by a run (both charged to Matty B), and an ugly strikeoout by Spaz ended the inning.  Middle 8, HOU 4, COL 3.  Bourn stayed in to play center in the bottom of the 8th, and Michaels switched over to left.  Lyon came in to pitch.  Brad Hawpe, the leadoff batter for the inning, absolutely crushed the 2-1 pitch into left, but Michaels made a leaping catch at the top of the wall to rob him of a hit (double or home run, I couldn’t quite tell).  Lyon retired the next two in order to end the 8th.  Through 8, HOU 4, COL 3.

The Astros went down in order in the top of the 9th.  Lindtrom took the hill to close out the game.  Struck out Mora for the 1st out. Walked Stewart (on a couple of decent pitches), bringing up pinch-hitter Jason Giambi (yes he is still alive and playing baseball) with a runner on.  Giambi crushed the ball to left, but Michaels made the catch at the back of the track. 2 outs, runner on first base.  Gonzalez proceeding to ground into the 4-6 force to end the game. GOOD GUYS WIN 4 – 3!!!

All in all, a fun game to watch.  It started out fugly, but Moehler managed to get 18 straight outs without allowing a runner to score (after the first 3 runs had scored with no outs in the bottom of the 1st that is…).  It wasn’t particularly pretty, but Moehler did what he so often does, and that was to give an unspectacular but workmanlike performence on the mound.  6.0 IP, 9 H, 3 ER.  The pen held the Rukkakes scoreless for the final 3 innings as well.  Manzella began to show some life at the plate, and Lee actually looked good all around (good swing, heads-up base running, etc).  The Astros slowly chipped away at the 3-run deficit and took the lead on a well-played 8th inning (sorry Matty B, wish it had been someone else…).

And that there is your ballgame, folks. Rockies can’t sweep now, and the Astros still have a chance to win the series.  Good stuff, all.  And better news still, you’ll be happy to know that the legendary JackAstro will be back for his regularly scheduled Tuesday night recap next week, so no more having to read my uninspiring rubbish on Wednesday mornings anymore…

By the way, for those of you keeping score at home, with the win on Tuesday the Astros fall 6.5 back in the “Race for Rendon,” trailing the Orioles and Indians (and tied with the Diamondbacks) for the prize of the 2011 draft.

Y’all have fun now, ya hear!!!