Dear William Ligue Jr, idiot sox fan,
I talked with uncle frank. If the Astros win the series then I am not welcome to Thanksgiving dinner at his house this year, which is sad, because every day the Astros are not playing a game against a Chicago team I like the city just fine.
You gonna go punch the guy in the mouth who attacked Mrs. Biggio? Great. Since she hit him harder than you can, she can only be so thankful. Another thing you might do instead if you want to make ammends is be ashamed that your stupid fellow sox fans do this type of shit. I have seen people wearing the other team's gear at nearly every game I attended in the Dome or the Juice Box. I never saw Joe Thirdinals fan or cubs fan bothered in any way. If anything, the guy in line for beer behind him would say something friendly and stupid like, "so, are you from St. Louis?"
And no, I have never gone to a sox game in new or old comisky and I am unlikely to go there wearing astros gear. But why don't you show up outisde your park wearing cubs gear or astros gear and see how your fellow fans treat you--or are you, though an idiot, simply not that stupid? Uncle frank says that you might get treated to a "flamin' oscar." Maybe uncle frank was exaggerating, but then, uncle frank is a sox fan.
You might also rent (steal, whatever) the movie "eight men out." it will help to explain why you and your shity team, alone among all baseball teams (well, maybe the fuck the mets), DESERVE every bit of misfortune that comes your way.
Say, "howdy, asshole," to your dad, Bill, for me. I hear he's working security at the game.
warm bucket of spit regards,
nephew headhunter