Author Topic: Signal stealing haiku  (Read 1065 times)

NeilT

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Signal stealing haiku
« on: November 14, 2019, 08:39:05 pm »
There was a time when this site would have known exactly how to respond to allegations of illegal sign stealing.  Let's remember our glory. Offer up your sign stealing haiku.

Camera relay,
Pound bats against metal can.
Batter takes a curve.
"I think not having the estate tax recognizes the people that are investing... as opposed to those that are just spending every darn penny they have, whether it’s on booze or women or movies.”  Charles Grassley

JimR

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2019, 08:42:12 pm »
There was a time when this site would have known exactly how to respond to allegations of illegal sign stealing.  Let's remember our glory. Offer up your sign stealing haiku.

Camera relay,
Pound bats against metal can.
Batter takes a curve.

HOF
Often wrong, but never in doubt.

homer

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2019, 09:01:22 pm »
Feeling lost, help Brac
Hands up, watch the hanger. Down.
Late on fastball. Fuck.
Oye. Vamos, vamos.

Craig

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2019, 09:16:01 pm »
You guys are just mad
You did not think of it first
Fucking crybabies

chuck

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2019, 09:28:18 pm »
The monitor gone
Hallway lonely, silhouette
Dejected, batless
Y todo lo que sube baja
pregúntale a Pedro Navaja

homer

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2019, 09:33:52 pm »
Beltran team meeting
No sweat. Bang them cans at home
Astros in seven
Oye. Vamos, vamos.

NeilT

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2019, 09:41:53 pm »
Altuve at plate.
Our Yankees, who is better?
Sign stolen, ball gone.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2019, 09:47:06 pm by NeilT »
"I think not having the estate tax recognizes the people that are investing... as opposed to those that are just spending every darn penny they have, whether it’s on booze or women or movies.”  Charles Grassley

Astros Fan in Big D

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2019, 09:52:02 pm »
Sanchez fingers wiggle
Can is banged, slider is hanged
Poor Jomboy enraged

homer

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2019, 09:58:46 pm »
Slider not sliding
Changeup hangin. Fastball off.
You hear a whistle?
Oye. Vamos, vamos.

Texifornia

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #9 on: November 14, 2019, 10:57:31 pm »
Media butt-hurt
Astros' blood in the water
A feeding frenzy
He breezed him, one more time!

Col. Sphinx Drummond

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #10 on: November 15, 2019, 06:20:56 am »
From the Yankee perspective:

They can't be this good
There has to be some cheating
Or why would we lose
Everyone's talking, few of them know
The rest are pretending, they put on a show
And if there's a message I guess this is it
Truth isn't easy, the easy part's shit

JimR

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #11 on: November 15, 2019, 06:39:36 am »
Altuve up. Great!
Crucial runs, second and third.
BANG. K flailing. Fuck.
Often wrong, but never in doubt.

Bench

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #12 on: November 15, 2019, 09:00:55 am »
Everyone does it
Single us out, oh cruel world!
Guilty. True. Bullshit.
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

GreatBagwellsBeard

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #13 on: November 15, 2019, 10:59:07 am »
No cameras in LA.
Ground ball right side
Could do it.
Drinking for two.

“I want to paint a mural of Houston for the kids, but I’m terrible at drawing swamp humidity"

homer

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #14 on: November 15, 2019, 11:07:06 am »
No cameras in LA.
Ground ball right side
Could do it.

Let's go over the signs again: 5 whistles, 7 thumps, 5 crying yankees fans
Oye. Vamos, vamos.

Texifornia

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #15 on: November 15, 2019, 12:49:26 pm »
Home wins prove cheating
Three road wins, four home losses
To cover it up



All the teams have one
A center field camera
Astros sole users
He breezed him, one more time!

AstroAndy

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #16 on: November 15, 2019, 02:05:16 pm »
Bench coach has a scheme
A relay man to watch a screen
Sign stealing machines

Aussie Astro

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #17 on: November 15, 2019, 06:17:59 pm »
Let's go over the signs again: 5 whistles, 7 thumps, 5 crying yankees fans

If you could have massaged that into haiku format, I would declare you the winner right now.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

austro

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #18 on: November 16, 2019, 12:09:02 pm »
If you could have massaged that into haiku format, I would declare you the winner right now.

Five whistling bench guys,
Seven banging garbage cans,
Five butthurt Yankees.

It's even meta-descriptive, which I'm pretty sure was Homer's point in the first place.
I remember all the good times me 'n Miller enjoyed
Up and down the M1 in some luminous yo-yo toy
But the future has to change - and to change I've got to destroy
Oh look out Lennon here I come - land ahoy-hoy-hoy

Aussie Astro

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #19 on: November 16, 2019, 07:01:46 pm »
Five whistling bench guys,
Seven banging garbage cans,
Five butthurt Yankees.

It's even meta-descriptive, which I'm pretty sure was Homer's point in the first place.

Right, it was obviously a little early in the day.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

Arky Vaughan

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #20 on: November 17, 2019, 11:35:46 pm »
Behind a paywall
Drelich bangs on his laptop
Thirsting for revenge

Arky Vaughan

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #21 on: November 17, 2019, 11:39:49 pm »
Outfield camera
Dugout tunnel monitor
Dented garbage can

Mr. Happy

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #22 on: November 18, 2019, 04:08:34 am »
Crybabies will gnash.
Who's the smartest  in baseball?
Fuck 'em fuck 'em all!
People who cannot recognize a palpable absurdity are very much in the way of civilization. Agnes Rupellier

Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius

Arky Vaughan

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #23 on: November 18, 2019, 08:31:34 am »
Now somebody do it to the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire."

Fredia

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #24 on: November 18, 2019, 10:27:49 am »
how do we hear  the music?
forever is composed entirely of nows

astrojo

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #25 on: November 18, 2019, 12:32:56 pm »
Opioids ignored.
Seems like a bigger issue.
Where is the outrage?

Astros Fan in Big D

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Re: Signal stealing haiku
« Reply #26 on: November 18, 2019, 12:54:40 pm »
YES cameras film
iWatch in Beantown dugout
Nothing to see here