Astros @ Rangers - 7/12

[MRaup]

Springer and Altuve strike out, chasing fucking bullshit slop from a guy throwing 90 MPH.

Brantley grounds out 4-3. Good to see that last night's bullshit approach at the plate is still on the table.

[Jacksonian]

Springer and Altuve strike out, chasing fucking bullshit slop from a guy throwing 90 MPH.

Brantley grounds out 4-3. Good to see that last night's bullshit approach at the plate is still on the table.

Altuve grounded out 5-3, but otherwise your point stands.

[MRaup]

Altuve grounded out 5-3, but otherwise your point stands.

I stepped away for 3 seconds and he was out. Made an assumption after watching him flail at the first few pitches.

And Cole throws one right down the fucking middle to Choo for a no doubter.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

[MRaup]

Also, be warned, Eschenfelder is doing PBP tonight, so not only will you have to watch bullshit, you'll have to listen to bullshit as well.

[MRaup]

Cole decides to stop sucking and gets the Rangers out after Choo's cannon-shot.

Will the Astros be able to scrape a run out against the 1927 Yankees Shitty Fucking Texas Rangers today after an embarrassing shutout yesterday? STAY TUNED!

[MRaup]

Alvarez takes a borderline pitch for a ball to work the count 3-2 (hopefully payback for the horseshit strikeout last night, then works a walk.

[Tom Servo]

"Meeting of the minds" should never include Odor.

[MRaup]

Jesus Fuck, I've never missed Todd Kalas so much as I do right now. He is AWFUL.

Tim Federovich (sp?) behind the dish for the Rangers tonight. Yuli takes 3 straight balls, meeting on the mound by the entire infield.

Jesse Chavez looks like a douchey Lou Diamond Phillips. Pumps strike one in there.

Yuli deep fly to center, gone! Just barely over the wall in dead center!

2-1 Astros

[Jacksonian]

Jesus Fuck, I've never missed Todd Kalas so much as I do right now. He is AWFUL.

Tim Federovich (sp?) behind the dish for the Rangers tonight. Yuli takes 3 straight balls, meeting on the mound by the entire infield.

Jesse Chavez looks like a douchey Lou Diamond Phillips. Pumps strike one in there.

Yuli deep fly to center, gone! Just barely over the wall in dead center!

2-1 Astros

I hope everyone was tuned in.

[MRaup]

Jesus Fuck, I've never missed Todd Kalas so much as I do right now. He is AWFUL.

Tim Federovich (sp?) behind the dish for the Rangers tonight. Yuli takes 3 straight balls, meeting on the mound by the entire infield.

Jesse Chavez looks like a douchey Lou Diamond Phillips. Pumps strike one in there.

Yuli deep fly to center, gone! Just barely over the wall in dead center!

2-1 Astros

Reddick hits one a mile in the air, Santana in center took a step back then comes flying in and makes the running catch.

1 out. Cameras showing Chavez yelling at HPU Rob Drake after Yuli's homer.

Chirinos in full flail mode, down 0-2 quickly. Ball 1. Swings at a pitch at his fucking chin. 2 outs.

[MRaup]

Reddick hits one a mile in the air, Santana in center took a step back then comes flying in and makes the running catch.

1 out. Cameras showing Chavez yelling at HPU Rob Drake after Yuli's homer.

Chirinos in full flail mode, down 0-2 quickly. Ball 1. Swings at a pitch at his fucking chin. 2 outs.

2 outs, nobody on for Big Gravy himself, Tyler White.

Grounds to short. Andrus has a sandwich, calls his mom, winks at a cutie in deep left center, then throws out the beached whale by 3 steps.

Mid 2
2-1 Astros

[Jacksonian]

Big Gravy

This is gold.

[MRaup]

2 outs, nobody on for Big Gravy himself, Tyler White.

Grounds to short. Andrus has a sandwich, calls his mom, winks at a cutie in deep left center, then throws out the beached whale by 3 steps.

Mid 2
2-1 Astros

The King of the Cocksuckers grounds out 6-3, directly to the stop where a 2b normally would be.

1 out.

[MRaup]

The King of the Cocksuckers grounds out 6-3, directly to the stop where a 2b normally would be.

1 out.

Cole leaves a fastball on the inner third about thigh and Santana hits the ball about 5 miles to right field. 97 MPH meatball.

Hey Cole, STOP FUCKING SUCKING!

2-2

[MRaup]

Cole leaves a fastball on the inner third about thigh and Santana hits the ball about 5 miles to right field. 97 MPH meatball.

Hey Cole, STOP FUCKING SUCKING!

2-2

Eschendildo talking about how the ball tends to fly out of this ballpark. Uh, that ball would've been out of the Grand Tetons.

Cole stops fucking around and blows away Cabrera with a filthy  breaking ball.

2 outs.

[Jacksonian]

Cole leaves a fastball on the inner third about thigh and Santana hits the ball about 5 miles to right field. 97 MPH meatball.

Hey Cole, STOP FUCKING SUCKING!

2-2

It's be great if he stops throwing it into the clobbering zone.

[MRaup]

Eschendildo talking about how the ball tends to fly out of this ballpark. Uh, that ball would've been out of the Grand Tetons.

Cole stops fucking around and blows away Cabrera with a filthy  breaking ball.

2 outs.

Guzman works the count to 2-1. Curve for strike 2. Nasty slider, ponche.

3 outs.

Eschenfelder is about a half step above Arod on the "How Badly Are My Ears Bleeding" scale. Woof.

End 2
2-2

[geezerdonk]

Hey he's piling up the strike outs. Who cares about the yaks.

[MRaup]

Straw, who is playing short tonight, takes 2 balls. Fouls back a 90 MPH meatball right down the middle. Fouls off a better pitch.  Skies one to right. One out.

Gotta love fouling off shit ass pitches right down the pipe.

[MRaup]

Straw, who is playing short tonight, takes 2 balls. Fouls back a 90 MPH meatball right down the middle. Fouls off a better pitch.  Skies one to right. One out.

Gotta love fouling off shit ass pitches right down the pipe.

Springer, who had an absolutely horrible at bat in the 1st, fouls off strike one, then hits a drop shot in the right center, down for a single. Big smiles and thumbs up to the dugout.

Runner on 1st, 1 out.

[MRaup]

Springer, who had an absolutely horrible at bat in the 1st, fouls off strike one, then hits a drop shot in the right center, down for a single. Big smiles and thumbs up to the dugout.

Runner on 1st, 1 out.

Altuve, who also had a shitty at bat in the first, takes a breaking ball for strike 1. Swings at a breaking ball a FOOT AND A FUCKING HALF OUTSIDE. For fuck's sake. Swings at a pitch over his head and hits a 15 hopper to Cabrera at 3rd, and is thrown out by half a step at first.

Another absolutely shitty at bat. Fuck.

2 outs, Springer on 2nd.

[geezerdonk]

Chavez not getting his calls.

[MRaup]

Altuve, who also had a shitty at bat in the first, takes a breaking ball for strike 1. Swings at a breaking ball a FOOT AND A FUCKING HALF OUTSIDE. For fuck's sake. Swings at a pitch over his head and hits a 15 hopper to Cabrera at 3rd, and is thrown out by half a step at first.

Another absolutely shitty at bat. Fuck.

2 outs, Springer on 2nd.

Brantley fouls off strike 1.  Hooks a breaking ball foul. Down 0-2. Way outside, 1-2. JUST up. 2-2 fouls off a breaking ball right down the pipe.  Ripped foul down the RF line. Fed out to chat with Chavez, who SERIOUSLY looks like a douchebag. That facial hair is horrendous. JUST inside, 3-2. Rob Drake's strike zone has been absolutely firm so far. He's giving the box and nothing more. Brantley jumps out of the way of a breaking ball at his feet, ball 4.

2 on, 2 out.

[MRaup]

Brantley fouls off strike 1.  Hooks a breaking ball foul. Down 0-2. Way outside, 1-2. JUST up. 2-2 fouls off a breaking ball right down the pipe.  Ripped foul down the RF line. Fed out to chat with Chavez, who SERIOUSLY looks like a douchebag. That facial hair is horrendous. JUST inside, 3-2. Rob Drake's strike zone has been absolutely firm so far. He's giving the box and nothing more. Brantley jumps out of the way of a breaking ball at his feet, ball 4.

2 on, 2 out.

Alvarez takes one low. Ball one. Chavez's body language is horrible right now. Looks like a pouty little kid. Yordan HAMMERS a ball in the hole between short and 3rd. Andrus with a great snag, sliding in to the hole and pops up quickly and the throw is wide of first! Springer scores! Brantley to 3rd.

3-2

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Alvarez scalds the ball.

[MRaup]

Alvarez takes one low. Ball one. Chavez's body language is horrible right now. Looks like a pouty little kid. Yordan HAMMERS a ball in the hole between short and 3rd. Andrus with a great snag, sliding in to the hole and pops up quickly and the throw is wide of first! Springer scores! Brantley to 3rd.

3-2

1st and 3rd for Yuli, two outs. Ball 1. Yuli swings at a shit breaking ball and pops to shallow center for the 3rd out.

Had a chance to blow it open and wasn't patient.

Mid 3

3-2 Astros. Looking forward to Cole giving up another titanic home run in the next half inning.

[JimR]

Alvarez takes one low. Ball one. Chavez's body language is horrible right now. Looks like a pouty little kid. Yordan HAMMERS a ball in the hole between short and 3rd. Andrus with a great snag, sliding in to the hole and pops up quickly and the throw is wide of first! Springer scores! Brantley to 3rd.

3-2

Hit and error. No RBI

[Tom Servo]

Dammit Tyler.

[MRaup]

1st and 3rd for Yuli, two outs. Ball 1. Yuli swings at a shit breaking ball and pops to shallow center for the 3rd out.

Had a chance to blow it open and wasn't patient.

Mid 3

3-2 Astros. Looking forward to Cole giving up another titanic home run in the next half inning.

Federovitch takes strike 1. Ball 1.  Ripped down the 3rd base line, Yuli makes a GREAT diving play on a hop, fires from his knees, and Butterball White drops the throw on one hop on what wasn't the most difficult pick. God, I hate him so much.

1 on, 1 out.

[Jacksonian]

Awful

[MRaup]

Federovitch takes strike 1. Ball 1.  Ripped down the 3rd base line, Yuli makes a GREAT diving play on a hop, fires from his knees, and Butterball White drops the throw on one hop on what wasn't the most difficult pick. God, I hate him so much.

1 on, 1 out.

Choo with a runner on 1st.  Takes a couple strikes, 0-2. Feeble swing at a slider, ponche!

2 outs.

[Tom Servo]

Blummer is way over Ecshenfelder's head.

[MRaup]

Choo with a runner on 1st.  Takes a couple strikes, 0-2. Feeble swing at a slider, ponche!

2 outs.

Calhoun takes a breaking ball strike 1. Fouls off a fastball. Up and in, ball 1. Strike 2. Wide of the zone, ball 2. Slider makes Calhoun look silly, ponche.

THAT'S 2 outs. Sorry.

[MRaup]

Calhoun takes a breaking ball strike 1. Fouls off a fastball. Up and in, ball 1. Strike 2. Wide of the zone, ball 2. Slider makes Calhoun look silly, ponche.

THAT'S 2 outs. Sorry.

I was counting HoHo's error as an out.

Andrus takes a strike. Takes a ball. Just out, ball 2. Long foul ball down the RF line. 2-2, fouls off high heat. Another foul. Check swing at a slider 2 feet off the plate, strike 3!

Nicely done, Cole!

End 3
3-2 Astros

[Tom Servo]

 Andrus just pulled an Altuve. 

[HudsonHawk]

This is gold.

How would you say that in Spanish...would that be just “salsa grande”?

[BizidyDizidy]

How do these broadcasters get all this vacation

[MRaup]

I was counting HoHo's error as an out.

Andrus takes a strike. Takes a ball. Just out, ball 2. Long foul ball down the RF line. 2-2, fouls off high heat. Another foul. Check swing at a slider 2 feet off the plate, strike 3!

Nicely done, Cole!

End 3
3-2 Astros

Top 4

Reddick takes a strike on the inside corner. Grounds 6-3, out by half a step at first. 1 out.

[MRaup]

Top 4

Reddick takes a strike on the inside corner. Grounds 6-3, out by half a step at first. 1 out.

Chirinos takes ball one. Pops up an 86 mph slop breaking ball to Odor. 2 outs.

[Jacksonian]

How would you say that in Spanish...would that be just “salsa grande”?

I've seen white gravy.  I've not seen white salsa.

What's mayo in Spanish?

[MRaup]

Chirinos takes ball one. Pops up an 86 mph slop breaking ball to Odor. 2 outs.

The Bad Year Blimp takes strike one. Ball out outside. Strike two on the outside corner. Up, ball 2. 13 hopper up the middle, Andrus takes a nap, listens to the entire Beatles collection, then throws out white by 5 feet.

3 outs. Fuck Tyler White.

Mid 4.

[HudsonHawk]

Here's an idea...let’s hang 0-2 curveballs to Gallo. How can that not work?

[MRaup]

The Bad Year Blimp takes strike one. Ball out outside. Strike two on the outside corner. Up, ball 2. 13 hopper up the middle, Andrus takes a nap, listens to the entire Beatles collection, then throws out white by 5 feet.

3 outs. Fuck Tyler White.

Mid 4.

Bottom 4
3-2 Astros

Gallo takes strike one on the outside corner. Strike 2. And Gallo destroys a knee high slider that caught the zone to right.

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU THROWING HITTABLE PITCHES 0 AND FUCKING 2?!

Cole is fucking infuriating.

3-3

[MRaup]

Bottom 4
3-2 Astros

Gallo takes strike one on the outside corner. Strike 2. And Gallo destroys a knee high slider that caught the zone to right.

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU THROWING HITTABLE PITCHES 0 AND FUCKING 2?!

Cole is fucking infuriating.

3-3

Captain Fuckhole takes a strike. Holds up on a high fastball, 1-1. Takes one up. 2-1 swings through a high slider. 2-2 flails wildly at an inside slider.

1 out.

Here's a thought, THROW THAT PITCH TO GALLO!

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

This is the 34th time the Astros have faced Chavez. More than any other team he has pitched against. I thought it had seemed like we have seen a lot of him. I guess because we have.

[geezerdonk]

Cole's homerless inning rate is 25%.

[MRaup]

Captain Fuckhole takes a strike. Holds up on a high fastball, 1-1. Takes one up. 2-1 swings through a high slider. 2-2 flails wildly at an inside slider.

1 out.

Here's a thought, THROW THAT PITCH TO GALLO!

Satana top of the zone strike 1. Wildly misses a slider, strike 2.  Spikes a slider. 1-2, ponche off the outside corner, HUNDO.

2 outs.

[HudsonHawk]

What the fuck is Santana staring out after that whiff?

[MRaup]

Satana top of the zone strike 1. Wildly misses a slider, strike 2.  Spikes a slider. 1-2, ponche off the outside corner, HUNDO.

2 outs.

Cabrera takes a slider, strike 1. Way in front of a slider, foul ball. 0-2, Way up and out at 100. 1-2, Meatball at 99 right down the pipe, fouled off. We should sign Cabrera. Way in front of a slider, foul ball. Still 1-2, 99 outside upper 3rd, fouled off. 99 up, swing and a miss!

9 Ks for Cole, and only 3 solo home runs! Hooray!

End 4

3-3

[JimR]

What the fuck is Santana staring out after that whiff?

I wondered that also.

[Tom Servo]

I wondered that also.

I don't know the park at all, but was he looking where the big screen is to see the replay?

[MRaup]

Cabrera takes a slider, strike 1. Way in front of a slider, foul ball. 0-2, Way up and out at 100. 1-2, Meatball at 99 right down the pipe, fouled off. We should sign Cabrera. Way in front of a slider, foul ball. Still 1-2, 99 outside upper 3rd, fouled off. 99 up, swing and a miss!

9 Ks for Cole, and only 3 solo home runs! Hooray!

End 4

3-3

Straw takes strike one on the inside corner. Chavez bounces one in the left hand batters box, ball 1. On the outside corner, strike 2. 1-2, Low and away, ball 2. Even lower and awayer, 3-2. Chavez at 68 pitches. Swings through a 89 MPH nothingball off the outside corner, ponche.

1 out.

[MRaup]

Straw takes strike one on the inside corner. Chavez bounces one in the left hand batters box, ball 1. On the outside corner, strike 2. 1-2, Low and away, ball 2. Even lower and awayer, 3-2. Chavez at 68 pitches. Swings through a 89 MPH nothingball off the outside corner, ponche.

1 out.

Springer takes ball 1. Takes strike one 3 inches off the outside corner. Come on Rob, that hasn't been a strike all night. Fouls off a pitch on the outside corner, 1-2. Pops up a 85 MPH junkball at the knees to shallow right. Choo hauls it in.

2 outs.

[MRaup]

Springer takes ball 1. Takes strike one 3 inches off the outside corner. Come on Rob, that hasn't been a strike all night. Fouls off a pitch on the outside corner, 1-2. Pops up a 85 MPH junkball at the knees to shallow right. Choo hauls it in.

2 outs.

Altuve ball 1 outside. Blummer has actually faced Jesse Chavez. Strike one on a breaking ball. 1-1, 6 inches outside, ball 2. Altuve HAMMERS ONE TO DEAD CENTER! WAY GONE!

4-3 Astros

[Tom Servo]

Altuve!!!

[MRaup]

Altuve ball 1 outside. Blummer has actually faced Jesse Chavez. Strike one on a breaking ball. 1-1, 6 inches outside, ball 2. Altuve HAMMERS ONE TO DEAD CENTER! WAY GONE!

4-3 Astros

First homer since June 23rd for Altuve, up and out spinning slider.

Brantley takes an excuse me swing and rolls over to Guzman. 3 outs.

Mid 5
4-3 Astros.

Who will be the next shitfuck Ranger to hit a solo home run?

[MRaup]

First homer since June 23rd for Altuve, up and out spinning slider.

Brantley takes an excuse me swing and rolls over to Guzman. 3 outs.

Mid 5
4-3 Astros.

Who will be the next shitfuck Ranger to hit a solo home run?

Guzman swings through strike 1. Swings through strike 2. Ball one, up and away. 1-2. They're talking about what a piece of shit org the Rangers are. They've got a bunch of wind screens to prevent the wind from being such a factor, and they were damaged by a tornado earlier this summer. Still not fixed. Takes ball 2. Takes ball 3. 3-2 fouls off a slider down the pipe. Fouls off 99 on the inside corner. 100 off the inside corner, leadoff walk. Of fucking course. Fucking Cole.

[MRaup]

Guzman swings through strike 1. Swings through strike 2. Ball one, up and away. 1-2. They're talking about what a piece of shit org the Rangers are. They've got a bunch of wind screens to prevent the wind from being such a factor, and they were damaged by a tornado earlier this summer. Still not fixed. Takes ball 2. Takes ball 3. 3-2 fouls off a slider down the pipe. Fouls off 99 on the inside corner. 100 off the inside corner, leadoff walk. Of fucking course. Fucking Cole.

Federowic round to bunt, takes strike one on the outside corner knee high. 0-1 not bunting now, strike 2. 0-2 low and away slider. 1-2, 100 off the outside corner, ball 2. Cole fucking around with not great hitters wasting pitches. 71 pitches so far. 99 up and in, swing and a miss. Ponche!

10 Ks for Cole. 1 out.

[MRaup]

Federowic round to bunt, takes strike one on the outside corner knee high. 0-1 not bunting now, strike 2. 0-2 low and away slider. 1-2, 100 off the outside corner, ball 2. Cole fucking around with not great hitters wasting pitches. 71 pitches so far. 99 up and in, swing and a miss. Ponche!

10 Ks for Cole. 1 out.

1 on, 1 out.  Choo slider low, ball 1. Ball 1, low. Every Ranger has struck out at least once tonight. Just up, ball 3. Jesus Christ, Cole. Stop fucking around. Ball fucking 4. Fuck.

1st and 2nd, one out.

[HudsonHawk]

Man, Eschenfelder is simply awful.

[Tom Servo]

No word if the masseur bobblehead comes with Carlos. 

[MRaup]

1 on, 1 out.  Choo slider low, ball 1. Ball 1, low. Every Ranger has struck out at least once tonight. Just up, ball 3. Jesus Christ, Cole. Stop fucking around. Ball fucking 4. Fuck.

1st and 2nd, one out.

Chirinos out to visit with Cole, probably to tell him to stop fucking around.

Buckle up, this is going to be a scary couple of ABs I suspect.

Calhoun chases a low slider, strike one. Fouls off a slider, strike 2. Takes up, ball 1. Fouls off 99 at his chin.  pops up a slider. Infield Fly in effect. Altuve hauls it in. What's the point of that dumb rule anyway, amIrite?

2 outs, 2 on.

[HudsonHawk]

Cole just cannot stand pitching with a lead.

[MRaup]

Chirinos out to visit with Cole, probably to tell him to stop fucking around.

Buckle up, this is going to be a scary couple of ABs I suspect.

Calhoun chases a low slider, strike one. Fouls off a slider, strike 2. Takes up, ball 1. Fouls off 99 at his chin.  pops up a slider. Infield Fly in effect. Altuve hauls it in. What's the point of that dumb rule anyway, amIrite?

2 outs, 2 on.

Andrus slashes one to right, Reddick on one hop and fires home. had a shot if his throw wasn't fucking horrible. Way up the 3rd base line, goes to the wall.  Runners to 2nd and 3rd.

2 outs
4-4
Runners at 2nd and 3rd.

[MRaup]

Andrus slashes one to right, Reddick on one hop and fires home. had a shot if his throw wasn't fucking horrible. Way up the 3rd base line, goes to the wall.  Runners to 2nd and 3rd.

2 outs
4-4
Runners at 2nd and 3rd.

Gallo up (fuck). Swings through 99 up. Fouls back 99 on the outside corner. 0-2. Here's a thought, DON'T THROW A HITTABLE PITCH HERE! Swings through a slider a foot off the outside corner.

FUCK Cole is infuriating when he's like this.

End 5
4-4

[Astros Fan in Big D]

I don't think that pitch to Andrus could have split the plate more perfectly.

[MRaup]

I don't think that pitch to Andrus could have split the plate more perfectly.

I don't understand why Cole alternates between unhittable and here, right down the pipe.

[MRaup]

Gallo up (fuck). Swings through 99 up. Fouls back 99 on the outside corner. 0-2. Here's a thought, DON'T THROW A HITTABLE PITCH HERE! Swings through a slider a foot off the outside corner.

FUCK Cole is infuriating when he's like this.

End 5
4-4

Yordan leads it off. Ball one outside. Slopball inside corner, strike 1. 6 inches outside, Feds frames it like a perfect strike, ball 2. Alvarez HAMMERS THE FUCK OUT OF ONE TO RIGHT CENTER! Off the back wall of the bullpen!

5-4 Astros!

[Tom Servo]

Yordan!

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Yard-on!

[Jacksonian]

What power.  Wow

[MRaup]

Yordan leads it off. Ball one outside. Slopball inside corner, strike 1. 6 inches outside, Feds frames it like a perfect strike, ball 2. Alvarez HAMMERS THE FUCK OUT OF ONE TO RIGHT CENTER! Off the back wall of the bullpen!

5-4 Astros!

Yuli slaps one up the middle, Andrus does a really weird looking dive an can't come up with it, Yuli single.

[Tom Servo]

Cole is suddenly squirming on the bench.

[BizidyDizidy]

I’ve never seen anything like Yordan

[Astros Fan in Big D]

I don't understand why Cole alternates between unhittable and here, right down the pipe.

Most of his 0-2 and 1-2 chase pitches were laughably out of the zone.

[MRaup]

Yuli slaps one up the middle, Andrus does a really weird looking dive an can't come up with it, Yuli single.

Reddick ball one. Ball two through the wickets, Yuli to 2nd. Rangers have bullpen action. Reddick smacks a ball to right, base hit on one hop to the RF. Yuli held up rounding 3rd (as he should've been, didn't have a great jump).

1st and 3rd, no outs.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Holy crap.

That's the worst throw on a shallow fly I've ever seen.

[MRaup]

Reddick ball one. Ball two through the wickets, Yuli to 2nd. Rangers have bullpen action. Reddick smacks a ball to right, base hit on one hop to the RF. Yuli held up rounding 3rd (as he should've been, didn't have a great jump).

1st and 3rd, no outs.

Chirinos skies a fly to right center. Yuli bluffs the go, and the throw is fucking horrible, but Yuli can't score. Reddick moves to 2nd on the terrible throw.

2nd and 3rd, 1 out.

And here comes the Rangers coach. What the hell is his name again? Ah, who cares. Anyway, they're going to the pen.

[HudsonHawk]

Reddick ball one. Ball two through the wickets, Yuli to 2nd. Rangers have bullpen action. Reddick smacks a ball to right, base hit on one hop to the RF. Yuli held up rounding 3rd (as he should've been, didn't have a great jump).

1st and 3rd, no outs.

Was a line drive...gotta see it through.

[MRaup]

Holy crap.

That's the worst throw on a shallow fly I've ever seen.

He missed home by roughly 30 feet. And it was probably a 150 foot throw, tops.

[MRaup]

Was a line drive...gotta see it through.

Not arguing here. Definitely the right call on both fronts.

[HudsonHawk]

Don’t see that often...runner at 1B tags up and advances, but runner a 3B doesn’t.

[HudsonHawk]

Not arguing here. Definitely the right call on both fronts.

Just complementing your...colorful...pbp.

[Tom Servo]

Come on, Porkchop

[Astros Fan in Big D]

He missed home by roughly 30 feet. And it was probably a 150 foot throw, tops.

That has to be an error,  right?   

[Jacksonian]

Come on Big Gravy!

[HudsonHawk]

The good news is, the Astros have two runners in scoring position. The bad news is, Tyler White is at the plate.

[HudsonHawk]

That has to be an error,  right?

No error.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

He can't throw home!!!

[Tom Servo]

Tyler! 

And another horrible throw from the outfield.

[JimR]

That has to be an error,  right?

No.

[jbm]

Any hit to center should be a green light

[HudsonHawk]

Salsa Grande with a Texas League knock!

[MRaup]

Chirinos skies a fly to right center. Yuli bluffs the go, and the throw is fucking horrible, but Yuli can't score. Reddick moves to 2nd on the terrible throw.

2nd and 3rd, 1 out.

And here comes the Rangers coach. What the hell is his name again? Ah, who cares. Anyway, they're going to the pen.

In comes Adrian Sampson. 6-6 record, 4.70 ERA. 1.43 WHIP.

StayPuft White takes a ball up.  Fouls off 93 at the top of the zone and in. 1-1. Just showed a stat with White, 5 of  12 runners from 3rd have scored while he was up with less than 2 outs. White swings out of his stretch pants at a breaking ball 5 inches above the zone, strike 2. Fouls off a slider on the outside corner. Doinks one to shallow center, runners both get a great read and Santana makes ANOTHER horrific throw home. Reddick scores easily on a throw 20 feet up the line. Rangers also had their infield in.

7-4 Astros.
1 out, White on first.

[JimR]

Santana hit his spot again.

[Jacksonian]

Good Gravy!

[MRaup]

In comes Adrian Sampson. 6-6 record, 4.70 ERA. 1.43 WHIP.

StayPuft White takes a ball up.  Fouls off 93 at the top of the zone and in. 1-1. Just showed a stat with White, 5 of  12 runners from 3rd have scored while he was up with less than 2 outs. White swings out of his stretch pants at a breaking ball 5 inches above the zone, strike 2. Fouls off a slider on the outside corner. Doinks one to shallow center, runners both get a great read and Santana makes ANOTHER horrific throw home. Reddick scores easily on a throw 20 feet up the line. Rangers also had their infield in.

7-4 Astros.
1 out, White on first.

Straw takes strike one. Takes ball 1. Fouls off strike 2. Ball 2, low. Blum says he's shocked they pulled Chavez, and I kind of agree. Chavez seemed like he was hanging in there. Routine grounder to 2nd... 4-6... And Straw is safe by half a step.

2 outs, Straw on 1st.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Rare treat:

We got to see White and Straw running on the same play.

Could hardly tell them apart.

[HudsonHawk]

Straw needs to take a bag here.

[Tom Servo]

Shut the fuck up, Odor.

[Jacksonian]

Straw needs to take a bag here.

He heard you.

[Tom Servo]

astros baserunning strikes again.

[HudsonHawk]

Straw caught stealing home. You’re not *that* fast.

[MRaup]

Straw takes strike one. Takes ball 1. Fouls off strike 2. Ball 2, low. Blum says he's shocked they pulled Chavez, and I kind of agree. Chavez seemed like he was hanging in there. Routine grounder to 2nd... 4-6... And Straw is safe by half a step.

2 outs, Straw on 1st.

Springer takes strike one on the outside corner. Yo Straw... STEAL! Throw over. Straw with a big lead, THERE HE GOES! Ball up, throw down and Straw beats it easily. And the Douchiest Player in Baseball calls for a replay when Straw clearly beat it. Ball gets away on the next pitch, Straw easily to 3rd. 2-1 the count. Inside, ball 3. More action in the Ranger bullpen. Ball 4, gets away from Fed, and for some reason Straw attempts to take home and is easily out. Fucking idiotic decision by Straw. NO chance to score on that play.

Mid 6
7-4 Astros

[Astros Fan in Big D]

That was a tad aggressive.

[MRaup]

Rare treat:

We got to see White and Straw running on the same play.

Could hardly tell them apart.

A quick impression of this...

10

[Texifornia]

astros baserunning strikes again.

At least he touched all the bases up to that point. So.....progress?

[Tom Servo]

At least he touched all the bases up to that point. So.....progress?

Well, he didn't have to "round" any bases, so you're being generous, I think.

[MRaup]

Springer takes strike one on the outside corner. Yo Straw... STEAL! Throw over. Straw with a big lead, THERE HE GOES! Ball up, throw down and Straw beats it easily. And the Douchiest Player in Baseball calls for a replay when Straw clearly beat it. Ball gets away on the next pitch, Straw easily to 3rd. 2-1 the count. Inside, ball 3. More action in the Ranger bullpen. Ball 4, gets away from Fed, and for some reason Straw attempts to take home and is easily out. Fucking idiotic decision by Straw. NO chance to score on that play.

Mid 6
7-4 Astros

Bottom 6

Looking forward to seeing how Cole fucks this up. Seeing the replay, what a fucking idiotic decision by Straw. that ball was 6 feet from the plate at it's furthest. Such an idiotic call.

HomelessBeard McFuckwad take strike one. Ball one inside. 1-1, Just up, ball 2. Cole nibbling again. Inside corner slider strike 2. Odor grounds in to the shift, Altuve from shallow right, 4-3.

1 out.

[Tom Servo]

Yuli showing some leather tonight.

[HudsonHawk]

Yuli showing some leather tonight.

Nice play, but that call is gonna stand.

[MRaup]

Bottom 6

Looking forward to seeing how Cole fucks this up. Seeing the replay, what a fucking idiotic decision by Straw. that ball was 6 feet from the plate at it's furthest. Such an idiotic call.

HomelessBeard McFuckwad take strike one. Ball one inside. 1-1, Just up, ball 2. Cole nibbling again. Inside corner slider strike 2. Odor grounds in to the shift, Altuve from shallow right, 4-3.

1 out.

Santana wild swing, strike 1. Slider down swing and a miss, strike 2. Slaps one the other way, Yuli great pick and a quick throw, Blubber makes a great pick at 1st. Called safe. AJ challenging. This is a tough one. Very very close, total banger. I suspect this will stand as called, but not a bad time for a challenge.

[jbm]

HomelessBeard McFuckwad

Outstanding PBP

[MRaup]

Santana wild swing, strike 1. Slider down swing and a miss, strike 2. Slaps one the other way, Yuli great pick and a quick throw, Blubber makes a great pick at 1st. Called safe. AJ challenging. This is a tough one. Very very close, total banger. I suspect this will stand as called, but not a bad time for a challenge.

Safe after replay, not surprising.

1 out, runner on first.

Assdribble Cabrera get over curve strike 1. Punched out twice today so far. Slider right down Main fouled off. 0-2. Will Harris warming in the Stros pen. Cole at 95 pitches. 98 WAY up swing and a miss! Thanks, pal.

2 outs.

[MRaup]

Safe after replay, not surprising.

1 out, runner on first.

Assdribble Cabrera get over curve strike 1. Punched out twice today so far. Slider right down Main fouled off. 0-2. Will Harris warming in the Stros pen. Cole at 95 pitches. 98 WAY up swing and a miss! Thanks, pal.

2 outs.

2 outs, runner on first.

Guzman swings through a slider Santana on the move, beats Chirinos throw. Tough pitch to throw on. 0-1, runner on 2nd now, ball 1, up. Ball 2 up. Missing badly. 2-1, pitch 100 incoming. Slider down, swung through. 2-2. Time called by Robby. 100 MPH inside, 6 inches inside CALLED STRIKE 3! Thank you Rob Drake!

End 6

7-4 Astros.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

That may have been the first time hpu strayed from his zone.

[MRaup]

Outstanding PBP

I have a very particular set of skills...

[Tom Servo]

That may have been the first time hpu strayed from his zone.

There was one against the Astros, too.  Can't remember who.  Springer, maybe?

[MRaup]

There was one against the Astros, too.  Can't remember who.  Springer, maybe?

His zone has expanded a few times. the strike 3 for Cole was probably the worst though.

[MRaup]

2 outs, runner on first.

Guzman swings through a slider Santana on the move, beats Chirinos throw. Tough pitch to throw on. 0-1, runner on 2nd now, ball 1, up. Ball 2 up. Missing badly. 2-1, pitch 100 incoming. Slider down, swung through. 2-2. Time called by Robby. 100 MPH inside, 6 inches inside CALLED STRIKE 3! Thank you Rob Drake!

End 6

7-4 Astros.

Altuve leads off the 7th... Sampson still pitching. Strike one. Fouls off a fat one for strike 2. Altuve pops a outside corner slider to Roughdouche Odicknose.

1 out.

[MRaup]

Altuve leads off the 7th... Sampson still pitching. Strike one. Fouls off a fat one for strike 2. Altuve pops a outside corner slider to Roughdouche Odicknose.

1 out.

Meeting at the mound, we're going to the pen again. Which no-name fuckwit will it be this time?!

[HudsonHawk]

Altuve leads off the 7th... Sampson still pitching. Strike one. Fouls off a fat one for strike 2. Altuve pops a outside corner slider to Roughdouche Odicknose.

1 out.

Strike two was the pitch to crush. It was right in Altuve’s rice bowl.

[MRaup]

Meeting at the mound, we're going to the pen again. Which no-name fuckwit will it be this time?!

Lefty Brett Martin in to face Brantley 4.85 ERA, 1.38 WHIP. 1 out, nobody on.  Brantley takes 95 right down the pipe, strike 1. "Uncle Mike can hit" says Blummer. Curve ball on the inside corner, called a ball. Friendly reminder this is the last time the Astros will ever visit this hotbox dump of a ballpark. Ball 2, up. down, ball 3. Did he go? No, fuckstick, he did not. Grounder up the middle, Andrus playing 2nd in the shift throws him out, 6-3 from the right side of the diamond. Guzman trying to throw it around launches the ball in to left.

2 outs.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

YARDONG!

[Tom Servo]

Anyone miss Josh Fields?

[MRaup]

Lefty Brett Martin in to face Brantley 4.85 ERA, 1.38 WHIP. 1 out, nobody on.  Brantley takes 95 right down the pipe, strike 1. "Uncle Mike can hit" says Blummer. Curve ball on the inside corner, called a ball. Friendly reminder this is the last time the Astros will ever visit this hotbox dump of a ballpark. Ball 2, up. down, ball 3. Did he go? No, fuckstick, he did not. Grounder up the middle, Andrus playing 2nd in the shift throws him out, 6-3 from the right side of the diamond. Guzman trying to throw it around launches the ball in to left.

2 outs.

Alvarez takes ball one. Strike one on a breaking ball, nasty. 1-1, Alvarez HAMMERS ANOTHER ONE TO RIGHT CENTER! WAY BACK AND GONE! He cranked the fuck out of that ball. Just slightly more to CF than the last one. 108 MPH off the bat. Breaking something right down the pipe.

8-4 Astros.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

That is a mashing son of a bitch!

[Jacksonian]

Anyone miss Josh Fields?

He was great for the Astros in the World Series.

[MRaup]

Alvarez takes ball one. Strike one on a breaking ball, nasty. 1-1, Alvarez HAMMERS ANOTHER ONE TO RIGHT CENTER! WAY BACK AND GONE! He cranked the fuck out of that ball. Just slightly more to CF than the last one. 108 MPH off the bat. Breaking something right down the pipe.

8-4 Astros.

Yuli takes ball 1 low. Strike one on the knees. Strike 2 on the knees. Alvarez with a slight grin during the dugout shot. Swings through 95 at the thighs.

Mid 7.

8-4 Astros

[MRaup]

Anyone miss Josh Fields?

Don't hate on Fields too much. He was great with the Astros, AND netted us the Cuban Missile Crisis.

[MRaup]

So let me get this straight... Eschenfelder is holding back the eye candy during the post game show AND is first call when we need PBP?

Good lord, he's seriously the worst.

[Tom Servo]

Don't hate on Fields too much. He was great with the Astros, AND netted us the Cuban Missile Crisis.

True.  Larry Andersen was great for the Astros as well.

[Tom Servo]

Federovich?  Really?

[MRaup]

Alvarez takes ball one. Strike one on a breaking ball, nasty. 1-1, Alvarez HAMMERS ANOTHER ONE TO RIGHT CENTER! WAY BACK AND GONE! He cranked the fuck out of that ball. Just slightly more to CF than the last one. 108 MPH off the bat. Breaking something right down the pipe.

8-4 Astros.

Bottom 7, Cole is done. In comes Will Harris facing Federovicitichiz. Fouls off the first pitch down the 1B line.  Cole had 13 Ks on the evening. 10th double digit K night on the season. Strike 2 on the outside corner. Nasty breaking ball taken for ball 1, low. In case you weren't aware, Joe Smith activated today. Cy Sneed, the one hero of last night's game, sent back to RR. Ball two, in. Curve low and away. 3-2, Fouls off a slider. Jello White over to have a look, but it's on the dugout. Oh for fuck's sake. Hung slider right down the middle, dong to the power alley in left center. Come the fuck on, Harris. That's embarrassing.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

And promptly 3-0 to Choo.

[Jacksonian]

Harris not sharp at all.

[MRaup]

Bottom 7, Cole is done. In comes Will Harris facing Federovicitichiz. Fouls off the first pitch down the 1B line.  Cole had 13 Ks on the evening. 10th double digit K night on the season. Strike 2 on the outside corner. Nasty breaking ball taken for ball 1, low. In case you weren't aware, Joe Smith activated today. Cy Sneed, the one hero of last night's game, sent back to RR. Ball two, in. Curve low and away. 3-2, Fouls off a slider. Jello White over to have a look, but it's on the dugout. Oh for fuck's sake. Hung slider right down the middle, dong to the power alley in left center. Come the fuck on, Harris. That's embarrassing.

8-5 Astros, no outs. Choo takes ball 1. Choo 1-12 against Harris lifetime. 2-0 WAY up. Ball, in. 3-0. AJ, get someone up, please. Harris is slurping right now. Strike 1. 3-1, strike 2 on the inside corner. Choo was 4 steps to first. It was definitely a strike. Better not do that again, Sin. Slapped down the LF line, base hit.

[MRaup]

8-5 Astros, no outs. Choo takes ball 1. Choo 1-12 against Harris lifetime. 2-0 WAY up. Ball, in. 3-0. AJ, get someone up, please. Harris is slurping right now. Strike 1. 3-1, strike 2 on the inside corner. Choo was 4 steps to first. It was definitely a strike. Better not do that again, Sin. Slapped down the LF line, base hit.

Harris doesn't have his good stuff tonight. Strom out to slap him around.

[das]

“Coors Field of South Oklahoma”.   Classic by Blummer.

[Tom Servo]

Whew, that one got me nervous.

[MRaup]

Harris doesn't have his good stuff tonight. Strom out to slap him around.

Runner on 1st, no outs. Calhoun takes strikes one on the inside corner. Drives one to deep RCF but not enough, Springer there and makes the play. Eschenfelder compared it to Yordan's homer, but it wasn't even close to the same line. Fucking moron.

1 out.

[Tom Servo]

Come on, Will!

[MRaup]

Runner on 1st, no outs. Calhoun takes strikes one on the inside corner. Drives one to deep RCF but not enough, Springer there and makes the play. Eschenfelder compared it to Yordan's homer, but it wasn't even close to the same line. Fucking moron.

1 out.

Andrus takes ball 1 low.  Pressly warming in the Astros pen. Harris slider up, Andrus bails out like it was at his head (it wasn't). 2-0. Harris is making me VERY nervous. Just off the plate, ball 3. That pitch has been a strike more than a few times tonight, but Harris definitely didn't deserve it. Andrus squares, Harris misses by a mile. Hinch out immediately because Harris is sucking dick on ice.

1st and 2nd, 1 out. In comes Pressly.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Come on,  Pressly.

[JimR]

This is the game.

[JimR]

Whew

[MRaup]

Andrus takes ball 1 low.  Pressly warming in the Astros pen. Harris slider up, Andrus bails out like it was at his head (it wasn't). 2-0. Harris is making me VERY nervous. Just off the plate, ball 3. That pitch has been a strike more than a few times tonight, but Harris definitely didn't deserve it. Andrus squares, Harris misses by a mile. Hinch out immediately because Harris is sucking dick on ice.

1st and 2nd, 1 out. In comes Pressly.

1 out, runners in 1st and 2nd.

Pressly on to face Gallo. Buckle up, here we go again. Ball 1, low. Swings through a slider, 1-1. "Swinging with malicious intent" says Blum. High fly to right, Reddick is under it. Choo tags and goes to 3rd. 2 Outs, first a 3rd.

[Tom Servo]

Pop up by Gallo.  Move along.

[Texifornia]

Not Joey Callo is retired! Whew!

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Wtf, Chirinos?

[HudsonHawk]

Pop up by Gallo.  Move along.

I didn’t think that ball would ever come down. That was a Major League fly ball.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Freaking strikeout machine is at the plate with 2 outs and we gift them a run.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

FUCK!!!!

THAT'S WHAT HE WAS GOING TO DO ALL ALONG!!!!



I'll be ok.

[MRaup]

1 out, runners in 1st and 2nd.

Pressly on to face Gallo. Buckle up, here we go again. Ball 1, low. Swings through a slider, 1-1. "Swinging with malicious intent" says Blum. High fly to right, Reddick is under it. Choo tags and goes to 3rd. 2 Outs, first a 3rd.

Pubebeard OLovesdacock up. Strike one, top of the zone slider. Gallo's fly ball was in the air for 7.3 seconds. Jesus. Spikes a slider, runner on the move Chirinos makes a horrible throw toward first and it gets past Straw. Andrus to 3rd, runner scores.

8-6 Astros, runner on 3rd.

Slider on the outside corner, 1-2. That was a REALLY poor decision by Robby. Breaking ball WAY up, ball 2. 2-2, Just got a piece of a breaking ball, still 2-2. Odor is such a gross looking human being. PONCHE on a high breaking ball!

End 7

8-6 Astros.

[MRaup]

Pubebeard OLovesdacock up. Strike one, top of the zone slider. Gallo's fly ball was in the air for 7.3 seconds. Jesus. Spikes a slider, runner on the move Chirinos makes a horrible throw toward first and it gets past Straw. Andrus to 3rd, runner scores.

8-6 Astros, runner on 3rd.

Slider on the outside corner, 1-2. That was a REALLY poor decision by Robby. Breaking ball WAY up, ball 2. 2-2, Just got a piece of a breaking ball, still 2-2. Odor is such a gross looking human being. PONCHE on a high breaking ball!

End 7

8-6 Astros.

Apologies, I had to go feed the dog.

Leclerc in, Reddick grounded out to 2nd. 1 out.

Chirinos takes 3 straight balls. Dumpsterfire Rangers fans doing the wave, not surprising. Strike 1. Fastball strike 2. Strike 3 called on the braking ball right down the pipe. Man, Chirinos is awful currently. 2 outs.

[MRaup]

Apologies, I had to go feed the dog.

Leclerc in, Reddick grounded out to 2nd. 1 out.

Chirinos takes 3 straight balls. Dumpsterfire Rangers fans doing the wave, not surprising. Strike 1. Fastball strike 2. Strike 3 called on the braking ball right down the pipe. Man, Chirinos is awful currently. 2 outs.

Ambulocetus White up. Fouls off strike one. Takes a ball low. Fouls off ball 2, up. 1-2, Pops up another ball up, Santana hauls it in medium deep.

Mid 8

8-6, Astros.

[das]

Man, Chirinos is awful currently. 2 outs.

White is giving him a run for his money. Despite his lucky blooop two run “single”.

[MRaup]

Ambulocetus White up. Fouls off strike one. Takes a ball low. Fouls off ball 2, up. 1-2, Pops up another ball up, Santana hauls it in medium deep.

Mid 8

8-6, Astros.

Rondon on for the Astros (since Pressly pitched the high stress 7th).

Santana takes strike one right down the pipe. Low, ball 1. fouled off a breaking ball on the outside corner. 1-2, ball 2, low. ball 3, way low. Osuna up and lightly stretching. Ball 4, up. Rondon wasn't even fucking close on any of those pitches. Fucking awful.

[HudsonHawk]

Gonna need more than three outs from Osuna.

[Tom Servo]

Great job, Hector.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Rondon doing Rondon.

[Tom Servo]

Fortunately, Drake missed  Umpiring School the day they taught umpiring.

[MRaup]

Rondon on for the Astros (since Pressly pitched the high stress 7th).

Santana takes strike one right down the pipe. Low, ball 1. fouled off a breaking ball on the outside corner. 1-2, ball 2, low. ball 3, way low. Osuna up and lightly stretching. Ball 4, up. Rondon wasn't even fucking close on any of those pitches. Fucking awful.

Runner on 1st, no outs.

Cabrera grounds a fastball in foul, 0-1. Eschenfelder brilliantly observes that Rondon didn't want to walk the leadoff hitter. Time called by Chirinos as Santana was going. Douche Ranger Coach WhateverHisNameIs out to bitch. Drake sent him back to the dugout. Cabrera doinks a inside fastball to right, Reddick in and hauls it in.

1 out.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Goddammit.

[Tom Servo]

Fuck you, Hector.

[HudsonHawk]

Fuck. What a fucking shit show the pen has been the last two months.

[MRaup]

Runner on 1st, no outs.

Cabrera grounds a fastball in foul, 0-1. Eschenfelder brilliantly observes that Rondon didn't want to walk the leadoff hitter. Time called by Chirinos as Santana was going. Douche Ranger Coach WhateverHisNameIs out to bitch. Drake sent him back to the dugout. Cabrera doinks a inside fastball to right, Reddick in and hauls it in.

1 out.

Cabrera destroys the first pitch to straight-away right Off the top of the foul pole. Fucking Rondon. That was meat.

Blum/Esch blaming it on the ballpark, that was just a fat ass pitch. Didn't matter which ballpark.

Tied up, 8-8.

[homer]

Rondon is a fucking joke.

[MRaup]

Cabrera destroys the first pitch to straight-away right Off the top of the foul pole. Fucking Rondon. That was meat.

Blum/Esch blaming it on the ballpark, that was just a fat ass pitch. Didn't matter which ballpark.

Tied up, 8-8.

2 quick strikes to Fed. Swings through a slider, 2 outs.

I'm so fucking tired of hearing this "This ballpark gives up a lot of homers" on balls that are 100+ feet out. That's such a bullshit excuse. Stop throwing fat fucking pitches to mediocre hitters. Throwing meat leads to long home runs, that's not news.

Choo takes strike 1. Ball one, way low. Up, ball 2. 98 up, strike 2. Choo check swing went around on a pitch a foot up. End inning.

End 8, but our shitty bullpen gags up the lead AGAIN to a shitty team.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

8 runs scored and we're gonna lose this game.

[MRaup]

Fortunately, Drake missed  Umpiring School the day they taught umpiring.

No. Drake didn't do anything wrong. If you watch the hitter's reaction, it was obvious that Chirinos called time.

[MRaup]

8 runs scored and we're gonna lose this game.

The only thing the Astros having going for them is that Yuli drove in a run. They do ok when that happens.

[Tom Servo]

No. Drake didn't do anything wrong. If you watch the hitter's reaction, it was obvious that Chirinos called time.

Then why did he take his stance back behind the plate to call the pitch?  He himself never signaled time.

[MRaup]

2 quick strikes to Fed. Swings through a slider, 2 outs.

I'm so fucking tired of hearing this "This ballpark gives up a lot of homers" on balls that are 100+ feet out. That's such a bullshit excuse. Stop throwing fat fucking pitches to mediocre hitters. Throwing meat leads to long home runs, that's not news.

Choo takes strike 1. Ball one, way low. Up, ball 2. 98 up, strike 2. Choo check swing went around on a pitch a foot up. End inning.

End 8, but our shitty bullpen gags up the lead AGAIN to a shitty team.

Shawn Kelley in, 3.09 ERA to face 9-1-2 for the Astros. Straw takes ball one. breaking ball right down the pipe strike 1. Fastball at the knees, strike 2. Osuna warming up. Ball bounces, 2-2. Way out, ball 3. Full count Straw line drive right at Santana, 1 out.

[Tom Servo]

No. Drake didn't do anything wrong. If you watch the hitter's reaction, it was obvious that Chirinos called time.

Chirinos can call time all day long, doesn't matter

[MRaup]

Shawn Kelley in, 3.09 ERA to face 9-1-2 for the Astros. Straw takes ball one. breaking ball right down the pipe strike 1. Fastball at the knees, strike 2. Osuna warming up. Ball bounces, 2-2. Way out, ball 3. Full count Straw line drive right at Santana, 1 out.

Springer fouls off a breaking ball cookie RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE, strike one. Ugh. Strike 2 on the inside corner.  Chopper to short, easy 6-3. Springer had two pitches to hit and he took them both. Fucking putrid. The Astros will lose the one in the bottom of the 10th, I think.

[MRaup]

Springer fouls off a breaking ball cookie RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE, strike one. Ugh. Strike 2 on the inside corner.  Chopper to short, easy 6-3. Springer had two pitches to hit and he took them both. Fucking putrid. The Astros will lose the one in the bottom of the 10th, I think.

Altuve takes ball one 6 inches inside, called a strike. Smacks one right at the 3rd baseman, 5-3.

Mid 9.

[HudsonHawk]

Well fuck. I have absolutely zero confidence the pen can get six more outs.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

I appreciate your confidence,  but no way this game goes to the 10th.

[Tom Servo]

Well fuck. I have absolutely zero confidence the pen can get six more outs.

The game, or the series?

[HudsonHawk]

Chirinos can call time all day long, doesn't matter

He called time and the umpire granted it. What’s the issue?

[Tom Servo]

He called time and the umpire granted it. What’s the issue?

He never called time.  He only did it after the fact because the batter ran out of the batters box.  But he did not signal time until AFTER the pitch.  HOw the hell is that possible?

[HudsonHawk]

I appreciate your confidence,  but no way this game goes to the 10th.

The Rangers have scored in six if the eight innings so far. Why would the 9th be different.

[HudsonHawk]

He never called time.  He only did it after the fact because the batter ran out of the batters box.  But he did not signal time until AFTER the pitch.  HOw the hell is that possible?

Ok. Don’t believe him then. No one ever called time. It’s just fake news.

[MRaup]

Osuna in to hold it!

Also, Chirinos calls time, it's the same as a hitter. Time out is time out.

Calhoun takes strike one on the inside corner. Fouls off strike 2. Up, ball 1. Fouled off. Up again, 2-2. Slashes one right in to the shift, Yuli snags it from the SS position.

1 out.

[MRaup]

Osuna in to hold it!

Also, Chirinos calls time, it's the same as a hitter. Time out is time out.

Calhoun takes strike one on the inside corner. Fouls off strike 2. Up, ball 1. Fouled off. Up again, 2-2. Slashes one right in to the shift, Yuli snags it from the SS position.

1 out.

Andrus punches a ball to right, base hit.

1 out, runner on first.

[HudsonHawk]

Andrus steals 2B. Winning run in scoring position...

[MRaup]

Andrus punches a ball to right, base hit.

1 out, runner on first.

Gallo takes ball one, up. I've got a bad feeling about this. Throw over. 98 down the pipe fouled off. 1-1, out, ball 2. 2-1, swing and a miss on a high fb. 2-2, fouls off a FB. Adrus goes, pitch is high. Throw down, and he's safe!

Runner on 2nd, 3-2 and one out. Foul ball. Ball 4, walk.

1st and 2nd, 1 out.

[MRaup]

Gallo takes ball one, up. I've got a bad feeling about this. Throw over. 98 down the pipe fouled off. 1-1, out, ball 2. 2-1, swing and a miss on a high fb. 2-2, fouls off a FB. Adrus goes, pitch is high. Throw down, and he's safe!

Runner on 2nd, 3-2 and one out. Foul ball. Ball 4, walk.

1st and 2nd, 1 out.00

Cockneck Odor up, runners on 1st and 2nd, fouls off a high FB, 0-1. Inside, ball 1. Chirinos to the mound. 99 on the inside corner (woof!). 1-2. Fouled off. Fouled off again. Swings at a WAY high slider! Ponche!

2 outs.

[HudsonHawk]

Of course. What a miserable fucking game.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

FUCK!!!!

TERRIBLE PITCHING!!!!!!!!

[HudsonHawk]

Another fucking 0-2 pitch.

[chuck]

This team is arrogant as fuck and they are going to pay for it.

[MRaup]

Cockneck Odor up, runners on 1st and 2nd, fouls off a high FB, 0-1. Inside, ball 1. Chirinos to the mound. 99 on the inside corner (woof!). 1-2. Fouled off. Fouled off again. Swings at a WAY high slider! Ponche!

2 outs.

Santana 1st and 2nd and 2 outs, fouls off a breaking ball. 0-1, Fouls off an outside FB, 0-2. Line drive to right center, Springer dives and can't get it. Ball game over.

Fuck you Hector Rondon. Total gag job with a nice lead.

What a sad, fucking pathetic ending to a game that should've been an easy win against a shitty fucking ball club.

[HudsonHawk]

Santana 1st and 2nd and 2 outs, fouls off a breaking ball. 0-1, Fouls off an outside FB, 0-2. Line drive to right center, Springer dives and can't get it. Ball game over.

Fuck you Hector Rondon. Total gag job with a nice lead.

What a sad, fucking pathetic ending to a game that should've been an easy win against a shitty fucking ball club.

Don’t forget Will Harris’s sterling contribution.

[Tom Servo]

Don’t forget Will Harris’s sterling contribution.

Yeah, if he pitches well, Pressly is in the next inning instead of Rondon.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Cole was bad.
Harris was bad.
Chirinos gifted them a run.
Rondon was bad.
Osuna was bad.

8 runs and we LOST.

[HudsonHawk]

Yeah, if he pitches well, Pressly is in the next inning instead of Rondon.

Yep. Had to use Pressly in the 7th because Harris couldn’t get off his own dick.

[HudsonHawk]

Cole was bad.
Harris was bad.
Chirinos gifted them a run.
Rondon was bad.
Osuna was bad.

8 runs and we LOST.

Where is Cy Sneed when you need him?

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Straw ran into an out at home plate.

[MRaup]

The entire pitching staff is to blame for this shit sandwich of a game. If Cole actually bears down against good hitters instead of throwing 0-2 cookies, it's not close.

If Harris doesn't slurp Ranger dong for money, it's not a close game.

If Rondon doesn't puke all over himself it's not a close game.

The offense isn't the problem.

The pitching is FUCKING pathetic.

[TerryPuhl21]

This team is arrogant as fuck and they are going to pay for it.

I’m ready for Luhnow to stir the pot a little.....NOW.


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[HudsonHawk]

The entire pitching staff is to blame for this shit sandwich of a game. If Cole actually bears down against good hitters instead of throwing 0-2 cookies, it's not close.

If Harris doesn't slurp Ranger dong for money, it's not a close game.

If Rondon doesn't puke all over himself it's not a close game.

The offense isn't the problem.

The pitching is FUCKING pathetic.

Offense got it done tonight. Harris, Rondon, and Osuna gave up five runs in two inning, and it only stopped because the game ended.

[MRaup]

I’m ready for Luhnow to stir the pot a little.....NOW.


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This has way less to do with Lunhow and way more to do with the current team not sucking dick for spare change.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

I don't know who I'm more upset with- Harris or Rondon.

Harris was out of character for the season.  Rondon was exactly the same shit show he's been all year.