Author Topic: Empty Nest Wisdom?  (Read 405 times)

Duman

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Empty Nest Wisdom?
« on: August 09, 2018, 07:26:46 am »
We dropped off our son at college (War Eagle) and also attended a welcome luncheon with our daughter for Vet School (also War Eagle) on Monday of this week.  Mrs. Duman and I are now adjusting to the life of empty nesters.  Any wisdom from folks who have navigated this stage of life? 
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Snuffy

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Re: Empty Nest Wisdom?
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2018, 10:23:09 am »
We dropped off our son at college (War Eagle) and also attended a welcome luncheon with our daughter for Vet School (also War Eagle) on Monday of this week.  Mrs. Duman and I are now adjusting to the life of empty nesters.  Any wisdom from folks who have navigated this stage of life?

Our kids have kids now - we now enjoy eight grand kids - and I am still having to learn how to keep my mouth shut as they discuss their situations.  Certain questions are OK, but suggestions are not welcome unless requested.  As my wise-beyond-her-years daughter expressed years ago,

"I don't want you to "fix" it, Daddy.  I just want you to listen."

I should have followed her advise.  What do you anticipate as being the biggest challenge?
« Last Edit: August 09, 2018, 03:31:33 pm by Snuffy »
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juliogotay

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Re: Empty Nest Wisdom?
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2018, 09:52:05 am »
We dropped off our son at college (War Eagle) and also attended a welcome luncheon with our daughter for Vet School (also War Eagle) on Monday of this week.  Mrs. Duman and I are now adjusting to the life of empty nesters.  Any wisdom from folks who have navigated this stage of life?

I remember that day well 18 years ago dropping our daughter off at college. Wearing sunglasses in the elevator in the dorm  to hide the watery eyes. It was hard for a while and, ultimately, I have no advice. In time it will become the new norm.

Snuffy

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Re: Empty Nest Wisdom?
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2018, 10:26:05 am »
We dropped off our son at college (War Eagle) and also attended a welcome luncheon with our daughter for Vet School (also War Eagle) on Monday of this week.  Mrs. Duman and I are now adjusting to the life of empty nesters.  Any wisdom from folks who have navigated this stage of life?

It comes in stages, I remember getting on the elevator with our daughter on her wedding day.  I was in a trance until finally one of the brides maids observed, "We're not moving."

No one had pressed the down button.  Our precious daughter was beginning to build a nest of her own.

We had a code growing up:
"Do you know what?
"What?"
"I love you!"
"I love you too, Daddy!"

Now it is shorter response to "Do you know what?"  - An adult version of my daughter says "I love you, too, Daddy?"

PS: Just writing this, 20 years after the fact, brings a tear to my eyes.

« Last Edit: August 10, 2018, 10:38:37 am by Snuffy »
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Snuffy

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Re: Empty Nest Wisdom?
« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2018, 10:44:56 am »
There may still be "pros" in your circle that could help, if they are still alive. 

I received a draft notice on graduation day in the 1960's.    Instead of heading to CA to work on another degree, I was headed to Ft. Bliss for basic training.  I thot it was a death notice.  As I road the bus for the hour drive to Houston I was in another trance.  I felt all alone. 

It was not until decades later, during a conversation, that my Dad shared that he followed me all the way to Houston!  So thankful to have had that conversation with him.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2018, 10:47:59 am by Snuffy »
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BudGirl

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Re: Empty Nest Wisdom?
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2018, 12:35:57 pm »
It comes in stages, I remember getting on the elevator with our daughter on her wedding day.  I was in a trance until finally one of the brides maids observed, "We're not moving."

No one had pressed the down button.  Our precious daughter was beginning to build a nest of her own.

We had a code growing up:
"Do you know what?
"What?"
"I love you!"
"I love you too, Daddy!"

Now it is shorter response to "Do you know what?"  - An adult version of my daughter says "I love you, too, Daddy?"

PS: Just writing this, 20 years after the fact, brings a tear to my eyes.



Thanks for making me cry.  The 16th is my Daddy's second anniversary of his passing.  He loved me too. 
''I just did an interview with someone I like more than you. I used a lot of big words on him. I don't have anything left for you.'' --Brad Ausmus

Well behaved women rarely make history.

Snuffy

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Re: Empty Nest Wisdom?
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2018, 01:03:21 pm »
Thanks for making me cry.  The 16th is my Daddy's second anniversary of his passing.  He loved me too.

I worked with youth FT for a decade or so and somewhere along the way, I learned someone told me that the father's love can be a great protection for his daughter, keeping her from seeking his love from someone else.  So I have tried to remove all doubt of my love for my girl, even when she's 40.

Thankful, BudGirl, that you KNEW/KNOW your Dad loved you!  Tks for sharing!
« Last Edit: August 10, 2018, 01:42:48 pm by Snuffy »
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Fredia

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Re: Empty Nest Wisdom?
« Reply #7 on: August 23, 2018, 02:19:51 pm »
grandchildren help greatly
forever is composed entirely of nows

VirtualBob

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Re: Empty Nest Wisdom?
« Reply #8 on: August 24, 2018, 03:35:41 pm »
grandchildren help greatly
Grandchildren are your reward for allowing your teenagers to live.
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juliogotay

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Re: Empty Nest Wisdom?
« Reply #9 on: August 24, 2018, 08:33:55 pm »
Grandchildren are your reward for allowing your teenagers to live.

It's also payback.

austro

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Re: Empty Nest Wisdom?
« Reply #10 on: August 24, 2018, 08:48:43 pm »
It's also payback.

When my girls were teenagers, i just kept telling them "you'll get your turn". And now they are, and it's both endearing and hilarious to watch.
I remember all the good times me 'n Miller enjoyed
Up and down the M1 in some luminous yo-yo toy
But the future has to change - and to change I've got to destroy
Oh look out Lennon here I come - land ahoy-hoy-hoy