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Author Topic: Chronicle writing  (Read 3673 times)

AstroFrog

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Chronicle writing
« on: April 10, 2018, 09:09:07 am »
I really hate to criticize a young journalist who is clearly trying to summon a sweeping, interesting style in a game story, but this effort for Monday's game against the Twins was almost unreadable to me:

https://www.chron.com/sports/astros/article/Justin-Verlander-strong-night-secures-Astros-12820026.php

The story is riddled with bizarre usage, the passive voice, and hard-to-follow sentence structure.

I get what he is trying to do, but where is Chandler's editor? 

More evidence of print journalism's dismal state.
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HudsonHawk

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2018, 09:28:04 am »
The Chronicle's sports coverage is a train wreck.  Has been for decades now.  I can't imagine how any competent journalist would want to work for them. 
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juliogotay

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2018, 09:28:10 am »
That was an unreadable account to me. I didn't even make it to the end to see whodunit.
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HudsonHawk

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2018, 09:32:33 am »
Quote from: juliogotay on April 10, 2018, 09:28:10 am
That was an unreadable account to me. I didn't even make it to the end to see whodunit.

It was like reading a really, really drunk Ernest Hemingway describe tying his shoelaces..."he thought for a moment...should he start with the left lace or the right lace...a thousand thoughts raced through his mind...he knew that if he didn't get it right, he'd have to start over again...he thought back to those summers, long since past, where he'd tied the laces on his Chuck Taylor's, the high top kind which required even more delicate precision...had he lost his edge as the gray has slowly crept into his beard like a mouse might sneak into your house and nibble the crumbs from the vanilla wafers you ate in bed last night..."
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The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

Col. Sphinx Drummond

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #4 on: April 10, 2018, 10:24:53 am »
He's no Ring Lardner.
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NeilT

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #5 on: April 10, 2018, 10:33:29 am »
Quote from: Sphinx Drummond on April 10, 2018, 10:24:53 am
He's no Ring Lardner.

He's no Ring Doorbell.
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Gizzmonic

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #6 on: April 10, 2018, 10:40:45 am »
Quote from: AstroFrog on April 10, 2018, 09:09:07 am
I really hate to criticize a young journalist who is clearly trying to summon a sweeping, interesting style in a game story, but this effort for Monday's game against the Twins was almost unreadable to me:

https://www.chron.com/sports/astros/article/Justin-Verlander-strong-night-secures-Astros-12820026.php

The story is riddled with bizarre usage, the passive voice, and hard-to-follow sentence structure.

I get what he is trying to do, but where is Chandler's editor? 

More evidence of print journalism's dismal state.

What's sad is that we graduate about as many journalism majors per year as there are total jobs in the industry.

Out of that talent pool, surely there's someone out there who can string together a few coherent sentences. Blame HR and the sports editor for giving him this platform.
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JimR

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #7 on: April 10, 2018, 10:52:09 am »
He obviously does not know what an unassisted double play is.
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HudsonHawk

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #8 on: April 10, 2018, 12:14:51 pm »
Quote from: JimR on April 10, 2018, 10:52:09 am
He obviously does not know what an unassisted double play is.

Good thing he didn't have to explain the infield fly rule.  That would have really had him flummoxed. 
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Astros Fan in Big D

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #9 on: April 10, 2018, 12:20:09 pm »
Man,  that was disjointed.

I doubt an editor perused that.

I wonder if editors ever see a beat reporter's work these days.
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Knoxbanedoodle

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #10 on: April 10, 2018, 01:35:33 pm »
What's a editor?
« Last Edit: April 10, 2018, 01:55:35 pm by Knoxbanedoodle »
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Lefty

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #11 on: April 10, 2018, 01:39:50 pm »
I've noticed this several times.  He is a terrible writer, knowledge of the game aside.

When you're pining for the days of JdJO you know you suck.
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juliogotay

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #12 on: April 10, 2018, 03:34:46 pm »
Quote from: Knoxbanedoodle on April 10, 2018, 01:35:33 pm
What's a editor?

What's AN editor.
There. Fixed it for you. i]
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JimR

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #13 on: April 10, 2018, 04:37:54 pm »
Quote from: juliogotay on April 10, 2018, 03:34:46 pm
What's AN editor.
There. Fixed it for you. i]

You fell for it.
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NeilT

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #14 on: April 10, 2018, 04:45:59 pm »
Quote from: juliogotay on April 10, 2018, 03:34:46 pm
What's AN editor.
There. Fixed it for you. i]

Is this a wink emoji?
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Fredia

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #15 on: April 10, 2018, 05:28:27 pm »
if needed I am pretty good at convoluted writing
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T. J.

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #16 on: May 07, 2018, 08:22:13 am »
Today’s entry, opening “sentence”:

 “After the controversy, the rare baserunning call that once ended a World Series game in St. Louis and until Sunday had remained relatively unseen, hope remained.”

Absolutely unreadable.
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juliogotay

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #17 on: May 07, 2018, 09:30:34 am »
Quote from: T. J. on May 07, 2018, 08:22:13 am
Today’s entry, opening “sentence”:

 “After the controversy, the rare baserunning call that once ended a World Series game in St. Louis and until Sunday had remained relatively unseen, hope remained.”

Absolutely unreadable.

Closet novelist.
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VirtualBob

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #18 on: May 07, 2018, 09:28:10 pm »
Quote from: juliogotay on May 07, 2018, 09:30:34 am
Closet novelist.
It was a dark and stormy night. ...
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Ron Brand

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #19 on: May 08, 2018, 12:11:48 am »
Barzilla.
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Aussie Astro

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #20 on: May 08, 2018, 03:20:09 am »
Quote from: VirtualBob on May 07, 2018, 09:28:10 pm
It was a dark and stormy night. ...

The night was dry, yet it was raining...

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Dark Star

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #21 on: May 08, 2018, 08:27:57 am »
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HudsonHawk

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Re: Chronicle writing
« Reply #22 on: May 10, 2018, 09:31:44 am »
Quote from: Aussie Astro on May 08, 2018, 03:20:09 am
The night was dry, yet it was raining...

We actually experience the phenomenon of “virga” in the desert Southwestnof the US. It’s raining like hell but nothing gets wet. I assume you guys in Western Australia see that too?
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The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.
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