Angels @ Astros April 18, 2017

[Mr. Happy]

Your lineups for tonight's home tilt:

Angels

3BYunel Escobar (R)
RFKole Calhoun (L)
CFMike Trout (R)
DHAlbert Pujols (R)
1BC.J. Cron (R)
LFCameron Maybin (R)
SSA. Simmons (R)
2BDanny Espinosa (S)
CM. Maldonado (R)

LAA: Ricky Nolasco (R)  (0-2, 5.40)

Astros

CF George Springer (R)
RF Josh Reddick (L)
2B Jose Altuve (R)
DH Carlos Beltran (S)
C Brian McCann (L)
SS Alex Bregman (R)
3B Marwin Gonzalez (S)
1B Y. Gurriel (R)
LF Norichika Aoki (L)

HOU: Joe Musgrove (R)  (1-0, 4.35)

[HudsonHawk]

T1:

Escobar singles to RF
Calhoun strikes out swinging
Trout strikes out swinging
Pujols punches a soft pop up to Musgrove

No score. 

[NeilT]

So why do you never make the first or third out at third, but it's ok to make the second?

[MikeyBoy]

Great job by Musgrove after the lead off single.

[HudsonHawk]

B1:

Springer pops out F3 on the first pitch
Reddick grounds out 4-3
Altuve singles to CF
Beltran late on a 2-0 fastball and flies out to LF

No score

[HudsonHawk]

So why do you never make the first or third out at third, but it's ok to make the second?

Because with nobody out and at 2B, you don't need a hit to score.  With two out you need a hit to score from either 2B or 3B, so it really doesn't make a huge difference getting to 3B.  With one out, you still need a hit to score from 2B, but if you make it to 3B with one out, you don't.  So with one out is considered the time to take the risk. 

[NeilT]

Because with nobody out and at 2B, you don't need a hit to score.  With two out you need a hit to score from either 2B or 3B, so it really doesn't make a huge difference getting to 3B.  With one out, you still need a hit to score from 2B, but if you make it to 3B with one out, you don't.  So with one out is considered the time to take the risk.

That makes sense.  Now what happens when the ball bounces out of bounds?

[HudsonHawk]

That makes sense.  Now what happens when the ball bounces out of bounds?

A batted ball or a thrown ball?

[NeilT]

A batted ball or a thrown ball?

There's a difference?

[HudsonHawk]

T2:

Cron bounces back to the mound
Maybin grounds out 3U
Simmons takes strike two,for a ball, swings at strike three, but ump inexplicable rules he didn't swing, so after he should have punched out, he homers to RF on the next pitch
Espinosa with a weak grounder to where the third baseman should be, but no one is there...single
Maldonado walks, Espinosa to 2B
Escobar flies out F7

1-0 Angels

[HudsonHawk]

There's a difference?

Yes.  Depends on whether it's a pitch, a ball thrown for the first time on the infield, a second throw from the infield or a throw from the outfield.

[NeilT]

Yes.  Depends on whether it's a pitch, a ball thrown for the first time on the infield, a second throw from the infield or a throw from the outfield.

This game is complicated.

[HudsonHawk]

This game is complicated.

It's a simple game...you throw the ball...you hit the ball...you catch the ball.

[NeilT]

What's up with the Rubbermaid gloves?  Are the players washing  dishes in the Diamond Club between innings?

[HudsonHawk]

B2:

McCann grounds out 3-1
Bregman strikes out looking
Marwin strikes out swinging at a pitch two feet off the plate in the dirt

1-0 Halos

[NeilT]

McCann seems terrific. 

[HudsonHawk]

T3:

Calhoun strikes out looking
Trout...works the count full on 10 pitches...flies out F8
Pujols chops to third base...5-3

1-0 Angels

[HudsonHawk]

YULI!!!

Ties it up

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Yuli G!

[NeilT]

RUBBERMAID!

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Springer!

[HudsonHawk]

Springer Dinger!

Blummer called it

[MusicMan]

Anything that flies that far oughta have a damn stewardess on it.

[NeilT]

SPRINGER!!

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Is "velo" douche bag slang for velocity?

[NeilT]

Is "velo" douche bag slang for velocity?

It's short for bicycle. 

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

It's short for bicycle.

I understand the proper context.

[HudsonHawk]

B3:

Gurriel homers on the first pitch
Aoki flies out F7
Springer homers to CF...off the batter's eye
Reddick grounds out 4-3, yells "FUCK!"
Altuve with an infield single up the middle
Beltran ground out 4-3

2-1 Astros

[HudsonHawk]

Is "velo" douche bag slang for velocity?

Yes.  It's one of Kalas's more annoying words, up there with "intriguing". 

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

So did they ever say what the exit bicycle of Springer's homer was?

[NeilT]

I understand the proper context.

It's also short for why there are no more dinosaurs:  Velocirapture.

[MusicMan]

CAN'T SLEEP ORBIT WILL EAT ME

[NeilT]

CAN'T SLEEP ORBIT WILL EAT ME

That was a great ad.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I'm thinking it was 97 Treks or maybe 121 Schwinn Stingrays

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

It's also short for why there are no more dinosaurs:  Velocirapture.

So maybe 13 brontosaruii per second?

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

It still seems to me like it would be more natural to play Correa at third and Bregman at short.

[HudsonHawk]

T4:

Cron grounds out 4-3
Maybin grounds out 6-3 on a sweet barehanded pickup by Bregman
Simmons singles to LF
Espinosa strikes out lookkng

2-1 Astros

[NeilT]

Through 4 last night I think it was 9:27 pm.  That was the slowest uneventful game ever.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Yes.  It's one of Kalas's more annoying words, up there with "intriguing".

Yeah, it's bad. But I still like Kalas and it wouldn't be the worst thing to be annoyed by that quirk a whole lot.

[MusicMan]

So did they ever say what the exit bicycle of Springer's homer was?

110 mph, 441'


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[MusicMan]

McCann singles off the scoreboard, gunned down at second, review coming


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[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I think McCann got in there.

[austro]

I think McCann got in there.

I think so, too, but I think it's close enough that they'll stick with the original call.

[MusicMan]

I think McCann got in there.

He has a low velo, but lots of force.


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[NeilT]

Bad call.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I liked the way Maybin played that off the wall but I think he lost it and got a lucky carom.

[NeilT]

If you had a bathroom labeled McCann, and a bathroom labeled Gattis, would the Texas Legislature know which was which?

[Aussie Astro]

Through 4 last night I think it was 9:27 pm.  That was the slowest uneventful game ever.

The haiku supports that claim.

[MusicMan]

If you had a bathroom labeled McCann, and a bathroom labeled Gattis, would the Texas Legislature know which was which?

If you had a bathroom labeled "shit" and a bathroom labeled "Shinola", would the Texas Legislature know which was which?


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[NeilT]

The haiku supports that claim.

You probably got a house painted during that game.

[HudsonHawk]

B4:

McCann with a high drive off the top of the LF wall, it bounces over the LFer, who runs it down as McCann slides into the bag and tagged out...Hinch to challenge, looks like he was safe...two minutes are long gone...call upheld on a bad call.  Score it a single with 7-4 on the putout.
Bregman lines out to 3B
Marwin grounds out 6-3

2-1 Astros

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Whenever I see a guy in a chef's hat at the ballpark, I know someone is in for a special culinary delight.

[austro]

If you had a bathroom labeled "shit" and a bathroom labeled "Shinola", would the Texas Legislature know which was which?

Doubtful, but you can bet that they'll pass a law that will prevent local municipalities from making their own decision.

[juliogotay]

I have heartburn just looking at the sausage burger.

[Knoxbanedoodle]

That was the rare situation where I bet if McCann had been called safe the Angels wouldn't even have challenged.

[Aussie Astro]

You probably got a house painted during that game.

There is a couple of days of my life I will never get back.

[homer]

Doubtful, but you can bet that they'll pass a law that will prevent local municipalities from making their own decision.

I hate it when that happens.

[HudsonHawk]

Whoever bragged about how crisp this game was moving along...fuck you very much.

[NeilT]

Whoever bragged about how crisp this game was moving along...fuck you very much.

Sorry, but to be fair I only complained about how slow last night went.

[NeilT]

That was a great pitch.

[chuck]

Whenever I see a guy in a chef's hat at the ballpark, I know someone is in for a special culinary delight.

That's a sure sign good old chuck is a-fixin to employ the mute button.

I would like to find the person who invented the mute button and give them some sort of prize. Perhaps a toothsome hand made funnel cake.

[NeilT]

Pujols would look good in a chef's hat.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

So close. and poor communication on the relay in cost ...
Fuck Pooholes.

[MusicMan]

I have never hated a player more than Albert Pujols


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[NeilT]

I fuckin hate Albert Pujols.

[HudsonHawk]

Wheels fall off...5-2 Angels

[austro]

I fuckin hate Albert Pujols.

I think it here, Neil types it there.

[HudsonHawk]

T5:

Maldonado with an infield single...Marwin grabs it behind the 3B bag, but too long a throw
Escobar singles to LF, Maldonado to 2B
Calhoun...full count...strikes out looking at the 12th pitch of the at bat
Trout lines to RCF...Springer dives, but can't come up with it as he dives and it's off his glov...ball comes in...Altuve holds it, counts the laces, smokes a cigarette, and Maldonado rumbles around and would have been out by 8 steps on a good throw...Escobar to 3B, Trout to 2B
Pujols hits one out of the stadium...even though the roof is closed, Escobar scores, Trout scores
Cron pops out F3
Maybin flies out F9

5-2 Halos

[austro]

I have never hated a player more than Albert Pujols

You have to admit he hits pretty well for a 50-year-old.

[NeilT]

You have to admit he hits pretty well for a 50-year-old.

 
You'd then DAS would have caught up with him by now.

[MusicMan]

You have to admit he hits pretty well for a 50-year-old.

He stood there longer admiring it than most people's first sexual experience lasted.


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[MusicMan]

He stood there longer admiring it than most people's first sexual experience lasted.


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Hell, he watched it even longer than Altuve held that relay throw.


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[NeilT]

He stood there longer admiring it than most people's first sexual experience lasted.


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Most people's first sexual experience wasn't managed by Tony LaRussa.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I fuckin hate Albert Pujols.

He's such a cocksucker.

[MusicMan]

Most people's first sexual experience wasn't managed by Tony LaRussa.

So THAT'S why she kept saying to bring in a lefty!


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[chuck]

I hate it when that happens.

Amen, brother. Communities of like-minded bigots should be able to band together and spitefully discriminate against whoever the fuck they want.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Amen, brother. Communities of like-minded bigots should be able to band together and spitefully discriminate against whoever the fuck they want.

Or spitefully not discriminate as well.

[MusicMan]

Amen, brother. Communities of like-minded bigots should be able to band together and spitefully discriminate against whoever the fuck they want.

Ok, let's stop talking about the Cardinals.


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[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

So THAT'S why she kept saying to bring in a lefty!


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At least she didn't have you bat ninth.

[MusicMan]

At least she didn't have you bat ninth.

Every time I got to first base I was lifted for a pinch runner.


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[HudsonHawk]

Reddick has the biggest fucking strike zone of any hitter I've ever seen.  He must have pissed off some umpires, because he has the bat taken out of his hands more than anyone.

[HudsonHawk]

B5:

Gurriel flies out to shallow CF
Aoki singles to RF
Springer with a swinging bunt single, Aoki to 2B
Reddick grounds into 4-6-3 double play

5-2

[HudsonHawk]

Fuck this PBP

[NeilT]

Obligatory WU little league all-star cap. 

[HudsonHawk]

Kalas just completely fucked up Blummer's Dumb and Dumber reference. 

[HudsonHawk]

 Calhoun grabs the Golden Sombrero

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

5 has been the magic number, can't let 'em have any more.

[NeilT]

Altuve needs to work harder on hitting the long ball if he plans on making the Hall of Fame.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Man, I hate when this team gets beat.

[NeilT]

Man, I hate when this team gets beat.

It happens all too often.

[austro]

It happens all too often.

Probably 70+ times this year.

[austro]

Although they're not quite dead yet...

[NeilT]

Didn't work, but I can't think of anyone I'd rather have had at the plate.  Weird.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I fucking hate Pooholes so damn much.

[doyce7]

Didn't work, but I can't think of anyone I'd rather have had at the plate.  Weird.

At least with aoki you know he's gonna put the ball in play

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[Knoxbanedoodle]

Rough game. Seemed all the critical calls went against the good guys last night, and who knows what might have happened differently, but they really just never threatened against Nolasco, who is now 7-1 against Houston in his career. It's puzzling to me how that works even as the composition of the opposing team changes drastically from year to year.

[Andyzipp]

Rough game. Seemed all the critical calls went against the good guys last night, and who knows what might have happened differently, but they really just never threatened against Nolasco, who is now 7-1 against Houston in his career. It's puzzling to me how that works even as the composition of the opposing team changes drastically from year to year.

How does Mark Portugal go 11-3 against the Giants for his career?  It's a damn head scratcher.