Astros @ A's April 14, 2017

[MrKnuckleball]

Who's staying up late to watch?

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I'm here. Who else?

End of one inning and there is no score nor witty banter.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Beltran leads off the 2nd with a single to CF.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Bregman, McCann, and Gonzalez, out 1-2-3.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Khris Davis leads off the bottom of the 2nd with a HR to CF

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Keuchel comes back to strike out Healy and Plouff.  2 outs
Phegley safe after Bregman's error,

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Canha grounds out to Marwin at first.

End of 2 Astros 0 A's 1

[Aussie Astro]

I'm here. Who else?

End of one inning and there is no score nor witty banter.

I have to go and paint a house, much more fun than watching the ball game apparently

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Aoki grounded out to first.
Springer singles to center.
Reddick lines to third and Springer is thrown out before he can get back to first.

After 2.5 Astros 0 A's 1

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Rossales grounded out to SS.
Semien walked.
Raj Davis hit into a FC to SS, Semien out at second.
Lowrie with a single to RF, Raj to 2nd.
K Davis Grounded out to short for the third out.

End of 3 Astros 0 A's 1

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Son of a Bitch

[MrKnuckleball]

Fuckin a

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Altuve with a single to LF.
Altuve steals second. Ties Bagwell in steals for all time Astros
Correa flies out to RF, Altuve tags and advances to third.
Beltran draws a walk to put runners on the corners with one out.
Bregman HBP to load the bases, with one out.
McCann pops out in foul territory
Gonzalez pops up to SS to end the inning.

After 3.5 Astros 0 A's 1

[MRaup]

That was predictable as fuck.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Got to break to go eat.

[NeilT]

That was predictable as fuck.

Every time that happens, you know Altuve's not going to steal home.

[Knoxbanedoodle]

"Fuckin' A" was I think originally an exclamation of joy. In my lifetime it's become sort of an all-purpose profanity. I feel like we lost something there, but maybe "fuck yeah" is sufficient.

[chuck]

"Fuckin' A" was I think originally an exclamation of joy. In my lifetime it's become sort of an all-purpose profanity. I feel like we lost something there, but maybe "fuck yeah" is sufficient.

I was thinking the same thing.

I don't even know what fuckin a means. But I always thought it was supposed to be a  sort of Right on! kind of expression.

[MRaup]

AOKI!

[NeilT]

Aoki!

[Knoxbanedoodle]

I'm making a hybrid paella over here in the eastern time zone. The rice I'm using is all wrong. Whoa, Aoki homers?

[chuck]

I was just researching this

https://stronglang.wordpress.com/2015/11/13/what-the-fuck-is-the-a-in-fucking-a/

and you mean to tell me that I couldn't rely on you necks for one lousy Fuckin-Aoki!?

[Knoxbanedoodle]

Time Correa locked in his power stroke.

[NeilT]

I was just researching this

https://stronglang.wordpress.com/2015/11/13/what-the-fuck-is-the-a-in-fucking-a/

and you mean to tell me that I couldn't rely on you necks for one lousy Fuckin-Aoki!?

It's why we keep you around.

[chuck]

If you're trying to use regular ass rice for a paella you are well and truly fucked.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I'm just mad about saffron.

[NeilT]

If you're trying to use regular ass rice for a paella you are well and truly fucked.

Well, fuckin-aoki and your tremendous Paella knowledge.

[NeilT]

I'm just wild about saffron.

That really was the lyric, wasn't it?

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

That really was the lyric, wasn't it?

Yeah, well... mad about.

[chuck]

She's just mad about me.

By the way, Sphinx, I appreciated your Nick Lowe reference a while back.

I don't really know shit about paella other than I'm not all that great at making it and you do not want to use regular ass rice.

[WVastro]

Aoki!

Fuckin A!

[chuck]

I'm about to sautee a snapper filet. Last night's filet was accompanied by a hot sauce created around tomate de arbol. I'm trying to figure out what I want to do tonight. I made a pot of frijol desayuno which are sort of like the frijol chiricano, earthy like pintos but small and shaped a bit like a black eyed pea but smaller; the resulting broth is especially good.

So I don't know. Oh! I also have some nice, big shrimp. Maybe a tomato based sauce for the fish and shrimp.

[Knoxbanedoodle]

I was just researching this

https://stronglang.wordpress.com/2015/11/13/what-the-fuck-is-the-a-in-fucking-a/

and you mean to tell me that I couldn't rely on you necks for one lousy Fuckin-Aoki!?

For how long have the American schooled been graded on the A-F scale? That's what I'd always assumed the "A" referred to, though John Kelly didn't list it. Unless I am as bad at reading as I am at cooking rice in a cast iron skillet.

It's something called Lundberg Jubilee whole grain rice. It's just wrong. We'll see if the wrongness of the rice gets absorbed into all the other wrongnesses. I will let you know.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I don't really know shit about paella other than I'm not all that great at making it and you do not want to use regular ass rice.

I've made it a couple of times. I like it but it's a bit of a hassle to make.

[NeilT]

I'm about to sautee a snapper filet. Last night's filet was accompanied by a hot sauce created around tomate de arbol. I'm trying to figure out what I want to do tonight. I made a pot of frijol desayuno which are sort of like the frijol chiricano, earthy like pintos but small and shaped a bit like a black eyed pea but smaller; the resulting broth is especially good.

So I don't know. Oh! I also have some nice, big shrimp. Maybe a tomato based sauce for the fish and shrimp.

You really can't make frijol chiricano without pintos.  You're truly fucked.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I love snapper with a lot of garlic, lemon, and butter (so that it crusts when baked). Mojo de ajo, I think.

[NeilT]

There was a series of books a decade or so ago, that were a walk around a city.  They were like chapbooks, pocket sized, and written by good regional writers about their city.  Roy Blount, for instance, wrote New Orleans.  I read the one about Oakland, and it was all about the Black Pantherxs.  I don't remember it, but I vaguely recall the argument that the gun rights movement started in Oakland with Black Panthers arming themselves.

[chuck]

CAST IRON?! Yeah, bad news. A paella pan is much, much lighter than cast iron.

[Knoxbanedoodle]

They are wise to use Madson against us in the 6th. We own him in the 9th.

Mine tonight is a sausage, shrimp and tazo ham paella with wrong-ass rice. This largely owes to the fact of the wonderful meat CSA we subscribe to that I've lately discovered is built more for a four-person family than a two-. You have to find ways to cook and eat this stuff. You sort of gavage yourself.

I'll let you guys know how it works out.

[chuck]

I wish urban black men would stand up and vocally assert themselves to their "second amendment rights." I imagine that might just change the tone of the conversation.

[NeilT]

They are wise to use Madson against us in the 6th. We own him in the 9th.

Mine tonight is a sausage, shrimp and tazo ham paella with wrong-ass rice. This largely owes to the fact of the wonderful meat CSA we subscribe to that I've lately discovered is built more for a four-person family than a two-. You have to find ways to cook and eat this stuff. You sort of gavage yourself.

I'll let you guys know how it works out.

I'm betting if you change the name from paella to rice with pretty great meat it'll be fine.

[NeilT]

Waiting . . .

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Fuckin' Aoki!

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Spanish Jambalaya!

[chuck]

I'm betting if you change the name from paella to rice with pretty great meat it'll be fine.

If you're an enthusiast of particularly crispy rice then I imagine you're right.

Apparently today bears some observational significance to the faithfully devoted. All I know is that traffic around here is blissfully nonexistent. And there are no alcohol sales.

[NeilT]

I bet in Panama tomorrow would be a great day to go to Church, believer or no.  One of my favorite travel writers, Randy White, once wrote that the best way to learn about strange places was to walk around with a fishing rod and to go to the local religious service.  I suspect he wrote that because that's what he was inclined to do, but nathless, I always thought it true.

[Knoxbanedoodle]

I believe that's what Neil T is referring to. The Panthers arming themselves made the California legislature nervous, and a fracture occurred in the NRA, leading to the ouster of the parlor republican hunters in favor of the weirdos.

The "paella's" done now and I'll test it out tomorrow. I don't think cast-iron is a problem--maybe it would be if I were doing clams and shit? But the fond off a cast iron makes for choice bites. I'll let y'all know.

We still punked Madson.

[NeilT]

Altuve is killing them.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Fuckin' A Atuve! Amazing.

[Knoxbanedoodle]

Altuve ten times reaching in a row?

[Knoxbanedoodle]

That power stroke I was talking about.

[NeilT]

I have to go and paint a house, much more fun than watching the ball game apparently

It's Holy Week.  You're supposed to suffer.

[chuck]

That little guy is a lunatic.

This place is not so strange to me at this point, and I have indeed walked around with a fishing rod. Good advice. And not long ago I attended a funeral service for the father of a player of ours. It was about what I had expected other than the repurposing of various Simon and Garfunkel melodies to serve an ecumenical purpose.

[NeilT]

That little guy is a lunatic.

I think we're watching Ty Cobb repurposed as a nice guy.

[chuck]

What do y'all reckon watches.com is all about?

[Knoxbanedoodle]

That McCann fella makes a nice paella, I hear.

[chuck]

When he tends bar, he pours doubles.

[Knoxbanedoodle]

Very quietly, this vaunted offense is figuring it out out west.

[Knoxbanedoodle]

The late-inning rallies, reminiscent of 2015, are especially gratifying.

[NeilT]

What do y'all reckon watches.com is all about?

sex.

[Tom Servo]

Does Julia get an error by saying the Chevy poll is brought to you by your local Honda dealer?

[Knoxbanedoodle]

I guess I should say what's happening, since it's the GZ and all.

The Astros scored 1 in the 5th, 1 in the 6th, and 3 in the 7th to take a 5-1 lead.

Raul Alcantra in to pitch for the A's in the top of the 8th:

"Fuckin'" Aoki grounds out 3 unassisted on the first pitch.
Springer--swinging his ass off all night, and this AB no exception--K's.
Reddick flies out to right.

[Knoxbanedoodle]

Does Julia get an error by saying the Chevy poll is brought to you by your local Honda dealer?

Didn't hear it, but yeah. How could she not?

[WVastro]

If "Red Dick" doesn't pass the nickname test I really hope "Fuckin Aoki" does.

[NeilT]

I guess I should say what's happening, since it's the GZ and all.

The Astros scored 1 in the 5th, 1 in the 6th, and 3 in the 7th to take a 5-1 lead.

Raul Alcantra in to pitch for the A's in the top of the 8th:

"Fuckin'" Aoki grounds out 3 unassisted on the first pitch.
Springer--swinging his ass off all night, and this AB no exception--K's.
Reddick flies out to right.

Altuve is 3 for 3 with a walk, McCann and Aoki each have 2 RBI, with Aoki's first HR.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Devo is so good.

[chuck]

sex.

I was obviously setting you guys up for a voyeur joke or, extra credit, a Chuck Berry reference.

I know it's early in the season. But if Altuve's already getting on base ten times in a row, I think we all need to up our games a bit, don't you?

[Knoxbanedoodle]

Chris Devenski in the bottom of the 8th:

Marcus Semien doubles to right on a ball Springer must tackle to keep from becoming perhaps a triple.
Rajai Davis K's swinging on a 3-2 fastball on the outside corner. Or just outside. But just.
Jed Lowrie (of TV's Houston Astros) K's swinging on a 93-mph fastball over the middle of the plate.
Khris Davis, thus far responsible for the A's only run vis a vis a massive homer to left-center off DK in the 2nd, K's looking on a slider about whose precise location we will not ask questions.

[NeilT]

I was obviously setting you guys up for a voyeur joke or, extra credit, a Chuck Berry reference.

I know it's early in the season. But if Altuve's already getting on base ten times in a row, I think we all need to up our games a bit, don't you?

I started to say Freud.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Devo back out for a 6 out save attempt in the 9th?

[chuck]

I started to say Freud.

I'm not sure we're quite that highbrow around here.

[chuck]

Devo back out for a 6 out save attempt in the 9th?

No save to be had. Put Giles out there, who knows, that could change.

[NeilT]

Altuve makes that look easy.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Ouch! That has to hurt.

[NeilT]

Vaunted Offense.

[Knoxbanedoodle]

Leading off the 9th, Alcantra still pitching,

Altuve walks on a 3-1 count, reaching base for yeah I think that's the 11th consecutive time.
Altuve takes second on a balk no one else but that umpire saw, maybe.
Correa reaches on an error on a grounder to third (second time tonight, I think, plus three fly balls to right field), Altuve scoring from second, himself ending up on second. 6-1 Astronauts.
Beltran grounds out to second base. Correa to third.
Bregman (all night I've been saying, "Wouldn't this be a fine time for young Mr Bregman to hit his first homer of 2017?") gets hit by a pitch again. hash tag de ja vu inning.
McCann flies out to center on a 3-1 count, Correa scores.
MarGo flies out to center on the first pitch.

7-1 Astros.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Seattle leads the Rangers 2-1 in the bottom of the 8th

[NeilT]

Seattle leads the Rangers 2-1 in the bottom of the 8th

I'm kinda liking hating the stRangers.

[Knoxbanedoodle]

Vaunted Offense.

Quietly showing up.

[NeilT]

I'm kinda liking hating the stRangers.

And, of course, the Mariners.

[NeilT]

Trevor Plouffe=Reddick.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

And, of course, the Mariners.

I wish they had to play a 18 inning game.

[NeilT]

I wish they had to play a 18 inning game.

That's brilliant.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Victory!

[Knoxbanedoodle]

Feliz in to close it out:

Yonder Alonso pops out to left.
Trevor Plouffe drills a fat fastball into the left field bleachers.
Matt Joyce doubles just beyond Springer, who dove.
Mark Canha lines out to Marisnick. One away from seventh win.
Adam Rosales strikes out swinging on a cute little outside slider.

Astros win! 

[NeilT]

They Don Won.