Author Topic: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016 (Read 9211 times)

Mr. Happy · « **on:** April 06, 2016, 02:38:20 pm »

Your lineups for tonight's tilt:

Good Guys

2BJose Altuve (R)
RFGeorge Springer (R)
SSCarlos Correa (R)
LFColby Rasmus (L)
CFCarlos Gomez (R)
3BLuis Valbuena (L)
1BTyler White (R)
DHPreston Tucker (L)
CJason Castro (L)

HOU: Collin McHugh (R) (0-0, 0.00)

Crybaby Fucksticks

CF Jacoby Ellsbury (L)
LF Brett Gardner (L)
DH Alex Rodriguez (R)
1B Mark Teixeira (S)
C Brian McCann (L)
RF Carlos Beltran (S)
3B Chase Headley (S)
2B Starlin Castro (R)
SS Didi Gregorius (L)

NYY: Michael Pineda (R) (0-0, 0.00)

OregonStrosFan · « **Reply #1 on:** April 06, 2016, 02:53:02 pm »

Crybaby Fucksticks?!? That could apply to a hell of a lot of teams, just sayin'...

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #2 on:** April 06, 2016, 02:56:11 pm »

Quote from: OregonStrosFan on April 06, 2016, 02:53:02 pm

Crybaby Fucksticks?!? That could apply to a hell of a lot of teams, just sayin'...

The Girardi diapertwats!

Ty in Tampa · « **Reply #3 on:** April 06, 2016, 04:24:29 pm »

The Giardias

hostros7 · « **Reply #4 on:** April 06, 2016, 06:13:48 pm »

Carushed

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JaneDoe · « **Reply #5 on:** April 06, 2016, 06:38:20 pm »

There are more beer vendors than asses in seats.

pots · « **Reply #6 on:** April 06, 2016, 06:39:56 pm »

McHugh is working on getting Duffy sent down here. 42 pitches still only one out

pots · « **Reply #7 on:** April 06, 2016, 06:42:56 pm »

Woof, rough outing. 1/3 inning. Feliz in

MRaup · « **Reply #8 on:** April 06, 2016, 06:44:06 pm »

Jesus F. Christ. I just got home to this bullshit?

BizidyDizidy · « **Reply #9 on:** April 06, 2016, 06:46:30 pm »

I got to my seat here right when ARod came up

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JaneDoe · « **Reply #10 on:** April 06, 2016, 06:46:49 pm »

Quote from: MRaup on April 06, 2016, 06:44:06 pm

Jesus F. Christ. I just got home to this bullshit?

Bout time you got home. Maybe they can get their shit together.

pots · « **Reply #11 on:** April 06, 2016, 06:47:10 pm »

Quote from: MRaup on April 06, 2016, 06:44:06 pm

Jesus F. Christ. I just got home to this bullshit?

Run Buster Run!

MRaup · « **Reply #12 on:** April 06, 2016, 06:48:00 pm »

Quote from: pots on April 06, 2016, 06:47:10 pm

Run Buster Run!

I took Buster on a long walk, so he's already zonked out in the living room.

Have all of their hits been of the bullshit 3 hop variety?

chuck · « **Reply #13 on:** April 06, 2016, 06:53:11 pm »

There was a CI to start the merry go round and then two walks. No one has hit it terribly hard until Ellsbury just now.

BudGirl · « **Reply #14 on:** April 06, 2016, 06:55:39 pm »

Have they gotten a second out yet?

MRaup · « **Reply #15 on:** April 06, 2016, 06:56:19 pm »

Quote from: chuck on April 06, 2016, 06:53:11 pm

There was a CI to start the merry go round and then two walks. No one has hit it terribly hard until Ellsbury just now.

For fuck's sake. I've seen 4 batters and I'm already sick of this game.

And the 25 chanting dicknoses that are actually attending the game.

MRaup · « **Reply #16 on:** April 06, 2016, 06:57:24 pm »

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Routine fly to right. I can see why the fans went apeshit.

chuck · « **Reply #17 on:** April 06, 2016, 06:57:33 pm »

Strom let Feliz have it out there.

BudGirl · « **Reply #18 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:00:00 pm »

Quote from: chuck on April 06, 2016, 06:57:33 pm

Strom let Feliz have it out there.

What does this mean?

Knoxbanedoodle · « **Reply #19 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:01:01 pm »

This will be a dope comeback.

MRaup · « **Reply #20 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:01:56 pm »

Quote from: BudGirl on April 06, 2016, 07:00:00 pm

What does this mean?

Strom chewed out Feliz for pitching like a dingleberry.

My interpretation...

"Hey fuckstick, we're down 6-1, THROW SOME GODDAMN STRIKES!"

Knoxbanedoodle · « **Reply #21 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:02:53 pm »

I hate that cheesedick Yankee strikeout whistle.

MRaup · « **Reply #22 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:03:20 pm »

I am genuinely concerned I don't have enough beer for 9 innings of fucking Alan Ashby's stupidfuck commentary.

MRaup · « **Reply #23 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:07:23 pm »

Jason Castro, that is absolutely goddamn putrid.

MusicMan · « **Reply #24 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:07:37 pm »

Quote from: MRaup on April 06, 2016, 07:03:20 pm

I am genuinely concerned I don't have enough beer for 9 innings of fucking Alan Ashby's stupidfuck commentary.

If you drink enough to tolerate 162 games of Ashby, you will die.

MRaup · « **Reply #25 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:10:27 pm »

Quote from: MusicMan on April 06, 2016, 07:07:37 pm

If you drink enough to tolerate 162 games of Ashby, you will die.

I'm a team player.

MRaup · « **Reply #26 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:11:11 pm »

I was wrong... My "FUCK YEAH!" sent Buster fleeing for the living room.

Springer Salami (easy ladies...) makes it 6-5 Yankees.

JaneDoe · « **Reply #27 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:11:15 pm »

Hell fuckin yeah!

MusicMan · « **Reply #28 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:11:53 pm »

GEORGE SPRINGER YOU BIG STUD!!!

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MRaup · « **Reply #29 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:12:11 pm »

So today I learned that you have to be down big to look for pitches to hit hard. Thanks Ash!

MusicMan · « **Reply #30 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:14:54 pm »

Quote from: MRaup on April 06, 2016, 07:12:11 pm

So today I learned that you have to be down big to look for pitches to hit hard. Thanks Ash!

Giving up 6 run innings is the new market inefficiency.

MRaup · « **Reply #31 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:15:36 pm »

Ashby keeps talking about jumping on fastballs... SPRINGER HOMERED ON A SLIDER, YOU SHITSTAIN.

chuck · « **Reply #32 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:16:52 pm »

It is amazing that Springer has that kind of power basically swinging from one knee.

Have I mentioned that I am not necessarily Jason Castro's biggest fan?

MusicMan · « **Reply #33 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:19:07 pm »

Watching Correa makes me feel tingly inside. Like a sneeze, only better.

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MRaup · « **Reply #34 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:20:07 pm »

God. FUCKING. DAMNIT. THROW STRIKES.

chuck · « **Reply #35 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:22:37 pm »

Quote from: MusicMan on April 06, 2016, 07:19:07 pm

Watching Correa makes me feel tingly inside. Like a sneeze, only better.

I noticed a certain period of time between his home run and your reemergence here.

I assumed you were busy.

MRaup · « **Reply #36 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:23:42 pm »

Damn, that changeup dive bombed.

MRaup · « **Reply #37 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:25:14 pm »

Okay, I'm done with Feliz for the day already.

MusicMan · « **Reply #38 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:25:25 pm »

Oh for crying out loud.

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JaneDoe · « **Reply #39 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:25:45 pm »

Well fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

MusicMan · « **Reply #40 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:26:14 pm »

Quote from: chuck on April 06, 2016, 07:22:37 pm

I noticed a certain period of time between his home run and your reemergence here.

I assumed you were busy.

Just pulling for the team.

MRaup · « **Reply #41 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:26:28 pm »

Quote from: MusicMan on April 06, 2016, 07:25:25 pm

Oh for crying out loud.

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Fuck Starlin Castro. Just put it in his goddamn Cubloving ear hole, please.

moriartp · « **Reply #42 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:27:24 pm »

Quote from: MusicMan on April 06, 2016, 07:26:14 pm

Just pulling for the team.

ayyyyyyyyyyyyy

MRaup · « **Reply #43 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:43:26 pm »

Quote from: MusicMan on April 06, 2016, 07:26:14 pm

Just pulling for the team.

The Red Wings game is looking more and more interesting comparatively.

MRaup · « **Reply #44 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:47:49 pm »

Get Feliz out of the fucking game. Jesus Christ, fucking gas can.

JaneDoe · « **Reply #45 on:** April 06, 2016, 07:48:15 pm »

chuck · « **Reply #46 on:** April 06, 2016, 08:14:00 pm »

That is nuts.

austro · « **Reply #47 on:** April 06, 2016, 08:14:26 pm »

Boy, Correa has some power.

Col. Sphinx Drummond · « **Reply #48 on:** April 06, 2016, 08:16:02 pm »

That young man is truly awesome.

MusicMan · « **Reply #49 on:** April 06, 2016, 08:33:05 pm »

I'm going to have to invest in lotion this year.

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Nate in IA · « **Reply #50 on:** April 06, 2016, 08:36:50 pm »

mlb.tv is silent on my Roku box except for ads. Not sure what's up with that but I guess not listening to Ashby's blather is worth it.

That blast to center field by Correa was truly magnificent.

chuck · « **Reply #51 on:** April 06, 2016, 08:39:46 pm »

Fucking brutal.

hostros7 · « **Reply #52 on:** April 06, 2016, 08:44:15 pm »

Assby is certain that his eye test is more accurate than statcast when it comes to projecting the distance of correa jacks, which he seemingly scoffs at as mere wall-scrapers.

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chuck · « **Reply #53 on:** April 06, 2016, 08:48:13 pm »

Quote from: hostros7 on April 06, 2016, 08:44:15 pm

Assby is certain that his eye test is more accurate than statcast when it comes to projecting the distance of correa jacks, which he seemingly scoffs at as mere wall-scrapers.

The ball ricocheted fifty feet up the batter's eye and caromed nearly straight down. If you weren't paying attention, and obviously Ash wasn't, you might think it just got over.

chuck · « **Reply #54 on:** April 06, 2016, 08:54:35 pm »

McHugh will carry a relatively lofty 135 era into his next start.

austro · « **Reply #55 on:** April 06, 2016, 08:57:22 pm »

Quote from: chuck on April 06, 2016, 08:54:35 pm

McHugh will carry a relatively lofty 135 era into his next start.

At least he got an out. Otherwise...

chuck · « **Reply #56 on:** April 06, 2016, 09:02:43 pm »

Quote from: austro on April 06, 2016, 08:57:22 pm

At least he got an out. Otherwise...

This might not be as intimate an admission as some others we've heard lately but that image of the guy standing over flood waters whirlpooling into a manhole? You son of a bitch, you divided by zero!? I don't know why but I always laugh at that. Always.

I wonder when it was that Biz left.

Fields!

Ty in Tampa · « **Reply #57 on:** April 06, 2016, 09:02:49 pm »

Fuck this game.

Waldo · « **Reply #58 on:** April 06, 2016, 09:04:11 pm »

I like how the Yankee fans boo ARod for striking out with the bases loaded up 13-6.

chuck · « **Reply #59 on:** April 06, 2016, 09:04:23 pm »

Quote from: Ty in Tampa on April 06, 2016, 09:02:49 pm

Fuck this game.

Ok. You're going to miss Correa hit another bomb.

You and Ashby both.

hostros7 · « **Reply #60 on:** April 06, 2016, 09:12:40 pm »

Quote

Correa update:

103 MPH HR
105 MPH Single
113 MPH HR
113 MPH Single

He's crushing.

Per Daren Wilman tweet

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austro · « **Reply #61 on:** April 06, 2016, 09:17:15 pm »

Quote from: chuck on April 06, 2016, 09:02:43 pm

This might not be as intimate an admission as some others we've heard lately but that image of the guy standing over flood waters whirlpooling into a manhole? You son of a bitch, you divided by zero!? I don't know why but I always laugh at that. Always.

You and me both. I love that image.