Author Topic: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016  (Read 4865 times)

Mr. Happy

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Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« on: April 06, 2016, 02:38:20 pm »
Your lineups for tonight's tilt:

Good Guys

2BJose Altuve (R)
RFGeorge Springer (R)
SSCarlos Correa (R)
LFColby Rasmus (L)
CFCarlos Gomez (R)
3BLuis Valbuena (L)
1BTyler White (R)
DHPreston Tucker (L)
CJason Castro (L)

HOU: Collin McHugh (R)  (0-0, 0.00)

Crybaby Fucksticks

CF Jacoby Ellsbury (L)
LF Brett Gardner (L)
DH Alex Rodriguez (R)
1B Mark Teixeira (S)
C Brian McCann (L)
RF Carlos Beltran (S)
3B Chase Headley (S)
2B Starlin Castro (R)
SS Didi Gregorius (L)

NYY: Michael Pineda (R)  (0-0, 0.00)
« Last Edit: April 06, 2016, 03:12:10 pm by Mr. Happy »
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OregonStrosFan

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2016, 02:53:02 pm »
Crybaby Fucksticks?!?  That could apply to a hell of a lot of teams, just sayin'...
In the end, my dissolution with the game of baseball will not be a result of any loss of love for the game, rather from the realization that I can no longer bear the anger its supposed stewards cause to be built up in my soul. -Lee (01/08/2013)

Mr. Happy

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2016, 02:56:11 pm »
Crybaby Fucksticks?!?  That could apply to a hell of a lot of teams, just sayin'...

The Girardi diapertwats!
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Ty in Tampa

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2016, 04:24:29 pm »
The Giardias
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I'm living rent-free in the back of your head."

hostros7

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2016, 06:13:48 pm »
Carushed


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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2016, 06:38:20 pm »
There are more beer vendors than asses in seats.
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pots

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #6 on: April 06, 2016, 06:39:56 pm »
McHugh is working on getting Duffy sent down here.  42 pitches still only one out
« Last Edit: April 06, 2016, 06:41:28 pm by pots »

pots

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #7 on: April 06, 2016, 06:42:56 pm »
Woof, rough outing.  1/3 inning.   Feliz in

MRaup

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #8 on: April 06, 2016, 06:44:06 pm »
Jesus F. Christ. I just got home to this bullshit?
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." - Norm.

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BizidyDizidy

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #9 on: April 06, 2016, 06:46:30 pm »
I got to my seat here right when ARod came up

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #10 on: April 06, 2016, 06:46:49 pm »
Jesus F. Christ. I just got home to this bullshit?

Bout time you got home. Maybe they can get their shit together.
"My hammy is a little tight. I wish I was like Ausmus. He's Jewish and isn't allowed to have a pulled hamstring."

pots

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #11 on: April 06, 2016, 06:47:10 pm »
Jesus F. Christ. I just got home to this bullshit?

Run Buster Run!

MRaup

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #12 on: April 06, 2016, 06:48:00 pm »
Run Buster Run!

I took Buster on a long walk, so he's already zonked out in the living room.

Have all of their hits been of the bullshit 3 hop variety?
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chuck

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #13 on: April 06, 2016, 06:53:11 pm »
There was a CI to start the merry go round and then two walks. No one has hit it terribly hard until Ellsbury just now.
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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #14 on: April 06, 2016, 06:55:39 pm »
Have they gotten a second out yet?
''I just did an interview with someone I like more than you. I used a lot of big words on him. I don't have anything left for you.'' --Brad Ausmus

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #15 on: April 06, 2016, 06:56:19 pm »
There was a CI to start the merry go round and then two walks. No one has hit it terribly hard until Ellsbury just now.

For fuck's sake. I've seen 4 batters and I'm already sick of this game.

And the 25 chanting dicknoses that are actually attending the game.
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." - Norm.

"Your words yield destruction, sorrow and are meant just to hate and hurt..." - Das

MRaup

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #16 on: April 06, 2016, 06:57:24 pm »
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Routine fly to right. I can see why the fans went apeshit.
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." - Norm.

"Your words yield destruction, sorrow and are meant just to hate and hurt..." - Das

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #17 on: April 06, 2016, 06:57:33 pm »
Strom let Feliz have it out there.
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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #18 on: April 06, 2016, 07:00:00 pm »
Strom let Feliz have it out there.

What does this mean?
''I just did an interview with someone I like more than you. I used a lot of big words on him. I don't have anything left for you.'' --Brad Ausmus

Well behaved women rarely make history.

Knoxbanedoodle

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #19 on: April 06, 2016, 07:01:01 pm »
This will be a dope comeback.

MRaup

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #20 on: April 06, 2016, 07:01:56 pm »
What does this mean?

Strom chewed out Feliz for pitching like a dingleberry.

My interpretation...

"Hey fuckstick, we're down 6-1, THROW SOME GODDAMN STRIKES!"
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." - Norm.

"Your words yield destruction, sorrow and are meant just to hate and hurt..." - Das

Knoxbanedoodle

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #21 on: April 06, 2016, 07:02:53 pm »
I hate that cheesedick Yankee strikeout whistle.

MRaup

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #22 on: April 06, 2016, 07:03:20 pm »
I am genuinely concerned I don't have enough beer for 9 innings of fucking Alan Ashby's stupidfuck commentary.
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." - Norm.

"Your words yield destruction, sorrow and are meant just to hate and hurt..." - Das

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #23 on: April 06, 2016, 07:07:23 pm »
Jason Castro, that is absolutely goddamn putrid.
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." - Norm.

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MusicMan

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #24 on: April 06, 2016, 07:07:37 pm »
I am genuinely concerned I don't have enough beer for 9 innings of fucking Alan Ashby's stupidfuck commentary.

If you drink enough to tolerate 162 games of Ashby, you will die.
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #25 on: April 06, 2016, 07:10:27 pm »
If you drink enough to tolerate 162 games of Ashby, you will die.

I'm a team player.
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." - Norm.

"Your words yield destruction, sorrow and are meant just to hate and hurt..." - Das

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #26 on: April 06, 2016, 07:11:11 pm »
I was wrong... My "FUCK YEAH!" sent Buster fleeing for the living room.

Springer Salami (easy ladies...) makes it 6-5 Yankees.
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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #27 on: April 06, 2016, 07:11:15 pm »
Hell fuckin yeah!
"My hammy is a little tight. I wish I was like Ausmus. He's Jewish and isn't allowed to have a pulled hamstring."

MusicMan

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #28 on: April 06, 2016, 07:11:53 pm »
 GEORGE SPRINGER YOU BIG STUD!!!


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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #29 on: April 06, 2016, 07:12:11 pm »
So today I learned that you have to be down big to look for pitches to hit hard. Thanks Ash!
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." - Norm.

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #30 on: April 06, 2016, 07:14:54 pm »
So today I learned that you have to be down big to look for pitches to hit hard. Thanks Ash!

Giving up 6 run innings is the new market inefficiency.
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

MRaup

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #31 on: April 06, 2016, 07:15:36 pm »
Ashby keeps talking about jumping on fastballs... SPRINGER HOMERED ON A SLIDER, YOU SHITSTAIN.
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." - Norm.

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #32 on: April 06, 2016, 07:16:52 pm »
It is amazing that Springer has that kind of power basically swinging from one knee.

Have I mentioned that I am not necessarily Jason Castro's biggest fan?
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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #33 on: April 06, 2016, 07:19:07 pm »
Watching Correa makes me feel tingly inside. Like a sneeze, only better.


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I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #34 on: April 06, 2016, 07:20:07 pm »
God. FUCKING. DAMNIT. THROW STRIKES.
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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #35 on: April 06, 2016, 07:22:37 pm »
Watching Correa makes me feel tingly inside. Like a sneeze, only better.

I noticed a certain period of time between his home run and your reemergence here.

I assumed you were busy.
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MRaup

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #36 on: April 06, 2016, 07:23:42 pm »
Damn, that changeup dive bombed.
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." - Norm.

"Your words yield destruction, sorrow and are meant just to hate and hurt..." - Das

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #37 on: April 06, 2016, 07:25:14 pm »
Okay, I'm done with Feliz for the day already.
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"Your words yield destruction, sorrow and are meant just to hate and hurt..." - Das

MusicMan

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #38 on: April 06, 2016, 07:25:25 pm »
Oh for crying out loud.


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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #39 on: April 06, 2016, 07:25:45 pm »
Well fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
"My hammy is a little tight. I wish I was like Ausmus. He's Jewish and isn't allowed to have a pulled hamstring."

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #40 on: April 06, 2016, 07:26:14 pm »
I noticed a certain period of time between his home run and your reemergence here.

I assumed you were busy.

Just pulling for the team.
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

MRaup

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #41 on: April 06, 2016, 07:26:28 pm »
Oh for crying out loud.


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Fuck Starlin Castro. Just put it in his goddamn Cubloving ear hole, please.
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." - Norm.

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #42 on: April 06, 2016, 07:27:24 pm »
Just pulling for the team.
ayyyyyyyyyyyyy

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #43 on: April 06, 2016, 07:43:26 pm »
Just pulling for the team.

The Red Wings game is looking more and more interesting comparatively.
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"Your words yield destruction, sorrow and are meant just to hate and hurt..." - Das

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #44 on: April 06, 2016, 07:47:49 pm »
Get Feliz out of the fucking game. Jesus Christ, fucking gas can.
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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #45 on: April 06, 2016, 07:48:15 pm »
UGH
"My hammy is a little tight. I wish I was like Ausmus. He's Jewish and isn't allowed to have a pulled hamstring."

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #46 on: April 06, 2016, 08:14:00 pm »
That is nuts.
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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #47 on: April 06, 2016, 08:14:26 pm »
Boy, Correa has some power.
I remember all the good times me 'n Miller enjoyed
Up and down the M1 in some luminous yo-yo toy
But the future has to change - and to change I've got to destroy
Oh look out Lennon here I come - land ahoy-hoy-hoy

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #48 on: April 06, 2016, 08:16:02 pm »
That young man is truly awesome.
And my sins are so unoriginal, I have all the self-loathing of a wolf in sheep's clothing. In this carnival of carnivores, Heaven help me.

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #49 on: April 06, 2016, 08:33:05 pm »
I'm going to have to invest in lotion this year.


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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #50 on: April 06, 2016, 08:36:50 pm »
mlb.tv is silent on my Roku box except for ads.   Not sure what's up with that but I guess not listening to Ashby's blather is worth it.

That blast to center field by Correa was truly magnificent.

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #51 on: April 06, 2016, 08:39:46 pm »
Fucking brutal.
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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #52 on: April 06, 2016, 08:44:15 pm »
Assby is certain that his eye test is more accurate than statcast when it comes to projecting the distance of correa jacks, which he seemingly scoffs at as mere wall-scrapers.


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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #53 on: April 06, 2016, 08:48:13 pm »
Assby is certain that his eye test is more accurate than statcast when it comes to projecting the distance of correa jacks, which he seemingly scoffs at as mere wall-scrapers.

The ball ricocheted fifty feet up the batter's eye and caromed nearly straight down. If you weren't paying attention, and obviously Ash wasn't, you might think it just got over.
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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #54 on: April 06, 2016, 08:54:35 pm »
McHugh will carry a relatively lofty 135 era into his next start.
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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #55 on: April 06, 2016, 08:57:22 pm »
McHugh will carry a relatively lofty 135 era into his next start.

At least he got an out. Otherwise...
I remember all the good times me 'n Miller enjoyed
Up and down the M1 in some luminous yo-yo toy
But the future has to change - and to change I've got to destroy
Oh look out Lennon here I come - land ahoy-hoy-hoy

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #56 on: April 06, 2016, 09:02:43 pm »
At least he got an out. Otherwise...

This might not be as intimate an admission as some others we've heard lately but that image of the guy standing over flood waters whirlpooling into a manhole? You son of a bitch, you divided by zero!? I don't know why but I always laugh at that. Always.

I wonder when it was that Biz left.

Fields!
Y todo lo que sube baja
pregúntale a Pedro Navaja

Ty in Tampa

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #57 on: April 06, 2016, 09:02:49 pm »
Fuck this game.
"You want me broken. You want me dead.
I'm living rent-free in the back of your head."

Waldo

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #58 on: April 06, 2016, 09:04:11 pm »
I like how the Yankee fans boo ARod for striking out with the bases loaded up 13-6.

chuck

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #59 on: April 06, 2016, 09:04:23 pm »
Fuck this game.

Ok. You're going to miss Correa hit another bomb.

You and Ashby both.
Y todo lo que sube baja
pregúntale a Pedro Navaja

hostros7

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Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #60 on: April 06, 2016, 09:12:40 pm »
Quote
Correa update:

103 MPH HR
105 MPH Single
113 MPH HR
113 MPH Single

He's crushing.

Per Daren Wilman tweet


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austro

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #61 on: April 06, 2016, 09:17:15 pm »
This might not be as intimate an admission as some others we've heard lately but that image of the guy standing over flood waters whirlpooling into a manhole? You son of a bitch, you divided by zero!? I don't know why but I always laugh at that. Always.

You and me both. I love that image.
I remember all the good times me 'n Miller enjoyed
Up and down the M1 in some luminous yo-yo toy
But the future has to change - and to change I've got to destroy
Oh look out Lennon here I come - land ahoy-hoy-hoy

VirtualBob

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #62 on: April 06, 2016, 09:49:12 pm »
You and me both. I love that image.
Link or it never happened.
Up in the Air

BudGirl

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #63 on: April 06, 2016, 09:54:16 pm »
thank goodness that is over.  16-6 them
''I just did an interview with someone I like more than you. I used a lot of big words on him. I don't have anything left for you.'' --Brad Ausmus

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BizidyDizidy

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Re: Astros @ Crybaby Fucksticks April 6, 2016
« Reply #64 on: April 06, 2016, 10:49:48 pm »

I wonder when it was that Biz left.


We threw in the towel after the Mole's HR.
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austro

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I remember all the good times me 'n Miller enjoyed
Up and down the M1 in some luminous yo-yo toy
But the future has to change - and to change I've got to destroy
Oh look out Lennon here I come - land ahoy-hoy-hoy

VirtualBob

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Up in the Air