Rangers @ Astros, September 25, 2015

[HudsonHawk]

Alright...here we go...

Lineups?  I don't know...but fuck those guys.  Stomp the shit out of em!

[doyce7]

Come on let's kill these cocksuckers and go on a run!

[austro]

Something to take the Phillies out of the record books would be sweet.

[Aussie Astro]

Someone here doesn't know wtf is going on, this game is on tv (rare treat) listed as MLB Post Season... did I miss something?

[HudsonHawk]

And here we go...2-out walk and a double off the wall give the Rangers an early 1-0 lead

[austro]

We're following the fucking script again.

[HudsonHawk]

T1:

Deshields flies out F7
Choo bounces back to the mound, and Kazmir  takes his time, then nearly knocks Valbuena over with a 95 mph heater at the knees
Beltre...full count...walks
Fielder doubles off the LCF wall, Beltre scores
Napoli strikes out swinging

1-0 Rangers

[HudsonHawk]

We're following the fucking script again.

How the fuck does Kazmir have an ERA under about 8.00?

[Aussie Astro]

How the fuck does Kazmir have an ERA under about 8.00?

Velo was low I think, highest 93?  Is he a guy that usually works up to his max over a couple of innings?

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

You know, Beltre and Fielder are really good baseball players. Both are veterans who have been through a lot of playoff chases. It's wrong to think their not ready to drive nails.

[hostros7]

Gallardo's rat tail haircut is troubling.


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[MusicMan]

Hey look, another failure to advance a runner!


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[Aussie Astro]

Gallardo's rat tail haircut is troubling.


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We would call it houso do.

[hostros7]

And a K with a man on 3rd and less than two outs!!


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[austro]

That was a nice job by Altuve to move up. Negated by Correa striking out.

And Gallardo's rat tail takes second place to his fugly beard.

[MusicMan]

It's the first inning and I will already fucking cut someone.


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[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Gallardo's rat tail haircut is troubling.


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I like it. It looks real classy. Gallardo is a Fort Worth kid, He always wanted to play for the Rangers.

[HudsonHawk]

Altuve at 3B with one out...and Correa whiffs

[HudsonHawk]

Runners at the corner with 2 out for Rasmus.

[HudsonHawk]

B1:

Altuve doubles down RF line
Springer lines one off the pitcher, but caroms right to the SS, out 1-6-3, Altuve has to stay at 2B
Altuve to 3B on a wild pitch...Gimenez blocks it, but nice read by Altuve
Correa...full count...infield in...blown away by a 91 mph fastball
Lowrie...fouls off the 3-0...walks
Rasmus flies out to shallow LF

Astros right on script...0-3 w/RISP

1-0 Rangers

[Aussie Astro]

Ah, this takes us back.

[HudsonHawk]

Kazmir right on script...throwing a sac bunt into RF, Moreland scores...2-0 Rangers

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

"Stinky" is good young player for the Rangers. I like how he's so humble.

[HudsonHawk]

Kazmir is a train wreck.  Bullpen is going to have to rid hard tonight.

[NeilT]

I'm going to need another beer.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

DDS has his batting helmet all Biggio'd up.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Choo is another solid veteran.

[HudsonHawk]

3-0 Rangers, still hitting with 2 out in the 2nd.

This is the worst defensive outfield the Astros can possibly put out there.

[doyce7]

This is painful to watch

[HudsonHawk]

T2:

Moreland...ahead 2-0...now 3-1...doubles over Rasmus's head.
Andrus sac bunt...Kazmir throws it into RF, Moreland scores
Pitch bounces, Andrus tries to take 2B, but is out 2-6
Odor grounds out 3U
Gimenez triples to LF as the ball bounces off the wall toward CF...Rasmus standing around picking his nose
Deshields hit by pitch
Choo...3-0...3-1...broken bat looper to LF, Tucker lays out, but he's slow as fuck.  Gimenez scores, Deshields to 3B
Beltre flies out to the RF corner, nice running grab by Springer

3-0 Rangers

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

3-0 Rangers, still hitting with 2 out in the 2nd.

This is the worst defensive outfield the Astros can possibly put out there.

You think Gattis is better than Tucker?

[Aussie Astro]

This is painful to watch

Be thankful that Beltre went right not left.

[hostros7]

DDS has his batting helmet all Biggio'd up.

Yeah, the key difference is that his ha that effect by virtue of being a jizz rag since he's a young punk who has had basically a pot of coffee and hasn't earned shit.

(Sorry that broken bat dying quail was vexing)


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[HudsonHawk]

You think Gattis is better than Tucker?

Eh...tomato, tomato

[austro]

This is the worst defensive outfield the Astros can possibly put out there.

That wasn't Tucker's fault. That was just more of the fantastically shitty luck that they've been having this month. They've done plenty to hurt themselves, but they've gotten zero breaks, too. (Other than Lowrie's improbably HR, I guess.)

[hostros7]

Tucker smoked that and it comes up 9 inches short of clearing deep right center wall and now will certainly be stranded at second -- Astros luck continues


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[HudsonHawk]

That wasn't Tucker's fault. That was just more of the fantastically shitty luck that they've been having this month. They've done plenty to hurt themselves, but they've gotten zero breaks, too. (Other than Lowrie's improbably HR, I guess.)

It's not his fault he runs like a fucking statue, no. 

[Aussie Astro]

Tucker smoked that and it comes up 9 inches short of clearing deep right center wall and now will certainly be stranded at second -- Astros luck continues


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is it about luck?

[HudsonHawk]

Astros with 2 on, 2 out.  2 for their last 22 with RISP

[Aussie Astro]

It's not his fault he runs like a fucking statue, no.

Not an easy play, but there are plenty of guys who would have made it.

[HudsonHawk]

B2:

Gattis grounds out 6-3
Valbuena...grounds to 3B...twirls his bat and flips it like an idiot...is out 5-3
Tucker doubles deep off the RCF wall...about a foot from a home run
Castro...full count...walks
Altuve...spoiling some close pitches...strikes out on a pitch 6 feet outside in the dirt

3-0 Rangers

[hostros7]

is it about luck?

No, of course not, not all or even mostly, anyways.


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[HudsonHawk]

Not an easy play, but there are plenty of guys who would have made it.

Not an easy play because Tucker is slow and gets a terrible jump on the ball.  He's simply not a good outfielder. 

[juliogotay]

Kazmir is a train wreck.  Bullpen is going to have to rid hard tonight.

In terms of disappointments, Kazmir heads the list for me.

[Aussie Astro]

Fuck, Jose needs to take a scull into the box if he wants to make contact with that last pitch.

[ferret]

Not an easy play, but there are plenty of guys who would have made it.

  4 of them play for the Astros,

[hostros7]

Jose has had his chances to leave his mark on this late Sept. stretch and has consistently not come through with men on base.


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[Aussie Astro]

In terms of disappointments, Kazmir heads the list for me.

Is Kazmir normally 95+ or am I having flashbacks to his TB days ?

[HudsonHawk]

T3:

Fielder flies out F8
Napoli singles to LF
Moreland grounds out 4-3, Napoli to 2B
Andrus flies out F6 to shallow LF

3-0

[doyce7]

Is Kazmir normally 95+ or am I having flashbacks to his TB days ?

He was able to get 94-95 back in July.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Jose has had his chances to leave his mark on this late Sept. stretch and has consistently not come through with men on base.


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Who on the team has come through with men on base? Jose been left on base more than anyone. Jose and his terrible approach is the reason this team can't drive in runs?

[hostros7]

Who on the team has come through with men on base? Jose been left on base more than anyone. Jose and his terrible approach is the reason this team can't drive in runs?

He's an incredible hitter, but he hasn't come through with men on over the last week or so when the team needed it. I have high expectations for him. It's a team game but there are a couple guys on every roster who are counted on more than others.


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[HudsonHawk]

B3:

Springer reaches on E5...Beltre double clutched and couldn't get the throw off...inexplicably ruled a hit now
Correa...2-0...misses a meatball...misses a second meatball...swings and misses a bouncer 5 feet outside
Lowrie...2-0...2-1..Springer running on the pitch...grounds to 1B...ump calls it foul...not sure why...looks like they'll go to replay...should be a 3U with Springer moving to 2B...no replay needed...called correctly
Springer gets caught off 2B, but throw goes into CF, and moves to 3B on the TE2
Rasmus...3-1...grounds out 3-1

0 for 5 tonight, 2 for the last 24 w/RISP

3-0 Rangers

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

This sucks.

[HudsonHawk]

This sucks.

One of the most excruciating games to watch all season.

[Aussie Astro]

One of the most excruciating games to watch all season.

It could be worse, you could have ESPN commentary.  I am seriously considering switching the to MLBtv feed.

[hostros7]

 Ash: "how do you dirty the front of your uniform sliding?"

Worst color commentator ever.


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[Aussie Astro]

No hitter alert on the MLB home page scoreboard, when did they start doing that?

[hostros7]

No hitter alert on the MLB home page scoreboard, when did they start doing that?

I've been getting pop up alerts and live look-ins on At Bat app all year--some might even say the alerts were premature


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[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

No hitter alert on the MLB home page scoreboard, when did they start doing that?

I first noticed only when Fiers was pitching his. Carrasco has nasty stuff when he's on but he's real inconsistent.

[Aussie Astro]

I first noticed only when Fiers was pitching his. Carrasco has nasty stuff when he's on but he's real inconsistent.

It worked, they made me take a peak.

[HudsonHawk]

Choo with a 2-run home run.  5-0 now.  I'm not sure what's worse...how bad Kazmir is or how fucking slow this beatdown is happening.

[NeilT]

B3:

Springer reaches on E5...Beltre double clutched and couldn't get the throw off...inexplicably ruled a hit now
Correa...2-0...misses a meatball...misses a second meatball...swings and misses a bouncer 5 feet outside
Lowrie...2-0...2-1..Springer running on the pitch...grounds to 1B...ump calls it foul...not sure why...looks like they'll go to replay...should be a 3U with Springer moving to 2B...no replay needed...called correctly
Springer gets caught off 2B, but throw goes into CF, and moves to 3B on the TE2
Rasmus...3-1...grounds out 3-1

0 for 5 tonight, 2 for the last 24 w/RISP

3-0 Rangers

This is apparently not a problem for our opponents.

[hostros7]

Choo should have been conscripted.


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[Ty in Tampa]

Sphinx is making good points.

[HudsonHawk]

Good grief, will someone put Kazmir out of his, and our, fucking misery.

[Ty in Tampa]

What is Kazmir's ERA with the Astros?

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Choo is a motherfucker. So is Fielder. So is Beltre. So is Napoli. So is Moreland. So is Odor. So is Ashby. So is Andrus. So are the rest of the cocksuckers. Bunch of motherfucking pieces of shit.

[NeilT]

Horrible.

[HudsonHawk]

6-0 Rangers as they're laughing at the Astros.

Finally Kazmir out

[NeilT]

Choo is a motherfucker. So is Fielder. So is Beltre. So is Napoli. So is Moreland. So is Odor. So is Ashby. So is Andrus. So are the rest of the cocksuckers. Bunch of motherfucking pieces of shit.

Sphinx is making some good points.

[HudsonHawk]

What is Kazmir's ERA with the Astros?

Whatever it is, he's been terrible. 

[Ty in Tampa]

Whatever it is, he's been terrible.

I'm guessing it ain't 2.8whatever...

[HudsonHawk]

T4:

Odor grounds out 3U
Gimenez...full count...grounds out 3U
Deshields doubles on a liner up the middle...man that kid can fly
Choo homers to RF, Deshields scores
Beltre...full count..doubles over Tucker's head...
Fielder bloops one to CF, Beltre scores, Rasmus throws it against the screen, Fielder to 2B

That's it for Kazmir, Fields in

Napoli grounds out 5-3

Rangers just toying with the Astros now...lead 6-0

[austro]

Ash: "how do you dirty the front of your uniform sliding?"

Worst color commentator ever.

I couldn't believe that. What a derp.

[Aussie Astro]

Choo is a motherfucker. So is Fielder. So is Beltre. So is Napoli. So is Moreland. So is Odor. So is Ashby. So is Andrus. So are the rest of the cocksuckers. Bunch of motherfucking pieces of shit.

Good to see you back SD, I think someone may have been posting under your name earlier.

[HudsonHawk]

I'm guessing it ain't 2.8whatever...

Every time they show the league leaders, they show Kazmir up their near the top.  I'm not sure how...he's been fucking awful.

[Aussie Astro]

Gattis triple, he is obviously faster than he looks.

[HudsonHawk]

Astros off the schneid...triple by Gattis and homer by Valbuena

[hostros7]

Bat flip while getting your shit kicked in is the NKI.


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[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I hate the shit sucking turd handling Rangers even more than my hatred for the Cubs, Diamondbacks, and Mariners combined.

[Ty in Tampa]

Every time they show the league leaders, they show Kazmir up their near the top.  I'm not sure how...he's been fucking awful.

Always a head case. Not sure he knows how to deal with a winning team.

[Aussie Astro]

A little late to the party but the night is still young.

[NeilT]

1 for 1 with runners in scoring position.

[juliogotay]

Hamels may have decided this race. Or rather his wife.

[Ty in Tampa]

I hate the shit sucking turd handling Rangers even more than my hatred for the Cubs, Diamondbacks, and Mariners combined.

I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

[austro]

I hate the shit sucking turd handling Rangers even more than my hatred for the Cubs, Diamondbacks, and Mariners combined.

Think about this carefully, because it's exactly what Bud was hoping for.

[HudsonHawk]

1 for 1 with runners in scoring position.

Always look on the bright side of life

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I like Conger's home run power and his tagging at home plate ability but it's sure nice to have Castro back for every other aspect of catching and hitting.

[NeilT]

I hate the shit sucking turd handling Rangers even more than my hatred for the Cubs, Diamondbacks, and Mariners combined.

I hate the Mariners.

[HudsonHawk]

B4:

Gattis triples to LCF
Valbuena homers to RF, Gattis scores
Tucker pops out F5
Castro singles on a flair to LF
Altuve flies out F8
Springer singles to RF, Castro to 3B
Correa rolls the first pitch to SS, Springer out 6-4

But the Astros put up a pair...6-2 Rangers

[austro]

2 runs on 4 hits, including a triple and a homer. That's not easy to do.

[HudsonHawk]

Correa has had three terrible at bats tonight.

[Aussie Astro]

A good tactic may be to not give these runs right back, we should try that.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Think about this carefully, because it's exactly what Bud was hoping for.

Bud was right to hope that the Rangers would handle turds and suck shit.

[austro]

Correa has had three terrible at bats tonight.

On top of everything else that sucks about the end of this season, Price is going to win the CY over Keuchel, and Lindor is going edge past Correa for ROY.

[HudsonHawk]

A good tactic may be to not give these runs right back, we should try that.

Radical.

[austro]

Radical.

Intriguing, even.

[Ty in Tampa]

Ranger hatred has existed since the beginning of time. We just recently became aware of it.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Ranger hatred had existed since the beginning of time. We just recently became aware of it.

Probably because they have only been relevant since 2010.

[geezerdonk]

Brown hallucinating. Ashby going along.

[geezerdonk]

Ashby now takes the lead in the delusion derby.

[HudsonHawk]

T5:

Moreland flies out F7
Andrus strikes out looking
Odor...3-2...walks
Gimenez pops out F4

6-2 Rangers.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Wasn't Profar supposed to be the 2nd baseman of the future for the Rangers? I think his injury and Odor's emergence may have changed that.

[The Spleen]

On top of everything else that sucks about the end of this season, Price is going to win the CY over Keuchel, and Lindor is going edge past Correa for ROY.

Awards voters are going to want nothing to do with anyone involved in this fiasco, no matter what the numbers say.

[geezerdonk]

Hinch in the club house before the game  - Now men I want to emphasize the importance of every one of you bringing his passport on the trip to Seattle. 

[Ty in Tampa]

Lindor is going edge past Correa for ROY.

I don't know much about much but I don't see this happening.

[HudsonHawk]

B5:

Lowrie flies out to shallow LF...he's had a month of terrible at bats
Rasmus strikes out looking
Gattis lines one over 3B, kicks off the ball boy to the SS, who throws wild to 2B...scored a double

That's it for Gallardo, Faulkner in

Marwin, pinch hitting for Valbuena...flies out F7

6-2 Rangers

[austro]

I don't know much about much but I don't see this happening.

The stink from this collapse will be powerful.

[Ty in Tampa]

The stink from this collapse will be powerful.

Perspective. Who expected this?

[HudsonHawk]

T6:

Velasquez in

Deshields grounds out 4-3
Choo singles to CF
Beltre bloops a singles to RF, Choo to 3B

That's it for Velasquez, Thatcher in to face the Fat Kid

Fielder...full count...grounds into 6U-3 double play

6-2 Rangers

[HudsonHawk]

Coming up on 3 hours and we're in the 6th inning.  I may run out of whiskey, if you can fucking believe that.

[austro]

Coming up on 3 hours and we're in the 6th inning.  I may run out of whiskey, if you can fucking believe that.

Well, there have certainly been plenty of reasons to drink.

[HudsonHawk]

Holy fuck Villar is stupid.

[hostros7]

Well, there have certainly been plenty of reasons to drink.

There's another, courtesy of Mr. villar


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[austro]

Holy fuck Villar is stupid.

Yeah, that pretty much violated every lesson you're taught.

[HudsonHawk]

B6:

Villar, pinch hitting for Tucker...singles to CF
Castro...quickly down 0-2...strikes out swinging...ugly at bat

That's it for Faulkner, Ohlendorf in

Altuve...hacking at the first pitch in the dirt...hacking at the second pitch in the dirt as Villar steals 2B...takes a pitch in the dirt...fouls off a pitch in the dirt...fouls off another pitch in the dirt...takes another pitch in the dirt...fouls off a pitch in the dirt...takes another pitch in the dirt...full count...grounds sharply to SS, and Villar has his head up his ass and is dead meat at 3B
Springer...full count...strikes out swinging

6-2 Rangers

[juliogotay]

This Moment in History believes that Scott's no-hitter was on 9/26/86.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

The Rangers payroll is $171 million and the Astros is $92 million.

[austro]

The Rangers payroll is $171 million and the Astros is $92 million.

And right now the Rangers look about twice as good as the Astros.

[HudsonHawk]

The Rangers payroll is $171 million and the Astros is $92 million.

I'd gladly give $79MM of Crane's money to have a 5-game lead.

[juliogotay]

this just gets better and better.

[austro]

E-6 for sucker punching the second baseman.

[HudsonHawk]

Altuve catches a popup, but is clotheslined by Correa and the ball pops out after Altuve hits the ground...Altuve doesn't know what day it is...he's out

[hostros7]

All we would need is about 20mm for a middle of the order bat and 10-15 more for a fireballer in the bullpen.  He can pocket the other 45-49mm or so.


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[HudsonHawk]

Altuve has to be helped all the way to the dugout...Marisnick will go to CF, Rasmus to LF, and Villar to 2B

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Jack Tatum and George Atkinson would be proud of that forearm shiver.

[HudsonHawk]

T7:

Venable, who came in as a defensive replacement for Napoli in like the 4th inning...flies out F8
Moreland strikes out looking

That's it for Thatcher, Straily in.  Nice job by Thatcher tonight

Andrus flairs one behind 2B, Altuve catches it but is run over by Correa, Altuve hits the ground and the ball rolls out as he rolls over...Andrus to 2B...Altuve still on the ground...scored an E6
Odor pops out F6...no one tackles him so the inning ends

6-2 still

[HudsonHawk]

Correa has been brutal tonight. 

[juliogotay]

Correa's bad night continues.

[Ty in Tampa]

Why isn't that an E6? I get that two players are hustling but one player is to blame for the catch not being made.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

This game, in the bottom of the seventh, is now going on 3 hours and 12 minutes.

[austro]

Why isn't that an E6? I get that two players are hustling but one player is to blame for the catch not being made.

I guess that's the way they're seeing it.

[HudsonHawk]

Why isn't that an E6? I get that two players are hustling but one player is to blame for the catch not being made.

It is an E6

[austro]

This game, in the bottom of the seventh, is now going on 3 hours and 12 minutes.

Time flies when you're having fun.

[HudsonHawk]

This game, in the bottom of the seventh, is now going on 3 hours and 12 minutes.

Slobbaknocka going on in Seattle and they're in the 5th inning...after they started two hours after this one.

[Ty in Tampa]

It is an E6

Right. I was responding to the TV guys' indignation.

[HudsonHawk]

B7:

Correa...takes meatball for strike one, takes a hanging breaking ball for strike two, then swings at a pitch in his eyes to punch out
Lowrie...3-0...3-1...grounds one up the middle, but Andrus is there behind 2B for a 6-3

Ohlendorf out, Diekman in

Rasmus strikes out swinging

6-2

[HudsonHawk]

Right. I was responding to the TV guys' indignation.

Oh.  Well, for starters, one of them is an idiot.  I suppose he's rubbing off on the other one.

[HudsonHawk]

Is that Timmy Lupus out there in the outfield?  What a clusterfuck

[Ty in Tampa]

Fuck, that's brutal.

[The Spleen]

They're literally playing like they're on drugs.
That's how tight they are.

[Ty in Tampa]

Geezzus H. Kryst!!

[HudsonHawk]

T8:

Gimenez lines out to LF against the wall, Rasmus takes out part of the scoreboard, but gets there
Deshields flies to CF, Marisnick calls for it, is there, and Rasmus knocks it away at the last second...ruled a single, for some unknown reason
Choo grounds out 3U, Deshields to 2B
Deshields to 3B on a wild pitch
Beltre flairs one to shallow RF, Villar, Marwin and Springer converge and amazingly don't run into each other...score it F9

6-2

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Singleton was smart to sign that contract. I hope he invests wisely.

[Aussie Astro]

For anyone not getting the espn broadcast, Beltre and Andruss are dating.

[HudsonHawk]

B8:

Dyson, who may be a hobbit, in for the Rangers

Gattis chops a slow roller to SS, out 6-3
Singleton pinch hitting for Marwin...hits one 450 high and 100 feet deep for an F6, as the Rangers yuck it up with a choreographed catch
Villar...full count...bounces over the mound, Andrus throws it into the dugout, Villar will go to 2B on the TE6
Castro strikes out swinging on three pitches

6-2 Rangers

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

They're literally playing like they're on drugs.

Obviously not of the performance enhancing genre.

[The Spleen]

Heard a rumor online that Correa is sick and trying to play through it.
If so, that may not have been the best idea ever...

[HudsonHawk]

T9:

Perez in

Fielder flies out F8
Venable strikes out swinging
Moreland...0-2...strikes out looking

Last chance...Astros chasing four runs

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I guess I stick it out 'til the end.

[HudsonHawk]

B9:

Tolleson in...

Marisnick...3-0...3-1...3-2...pops out F3 in foul ground
Springer...swinging from his heels...quickly down 0-2...continues to swing from the heels and punches out
Correa singles to LF
Lowrie...quickly down 0-2 as Correa takes 2B...flies out F7

Astros take it in the shorts again.

[Aussie Astro]

That was damn lame.  I should be pissed off after a game like that but I must be still enjoying the afterglow from the footy last night.  MF Hawks qualified for their fourth consecutive Grand Final and have a chance that three straight premierships... winning is a nice feeling.

[NeilT]

I want one more excellent game. That's all. One excellent game.

[BudGirl]

Neil T and Ricky are done with the race.

[BudGirl]

I want one more excellent game. That's all. One excellent game.

you got it today!

[austro]

Neil T and Ricky are done with the race.

Outstanding.