Electronics on Planes - Alec Baldwin Edition

[Limey]

Some airlines are replacing pilot's weighty "flight bags" - full of maps and manuals and the like - with iPads.  They will be allowed to have them on throughout the duration of the flight, and the FAA is ok with this.  So, about that whole "you have to turn that off or we'll all die" thingy..?

The game may be up on.

When I called the F.A.A. last week to pester them about this regulation — citing experts and research that says these devices could not harm a plane — the F.A.A. responded differently than it usually does. Laura J. Brown, deputy assistant administrator for public affairs for the F.A.A., said that the agency has decided to take a “fresh look” at the use of personal electronics on planes.

In a nutshell - it'll take them forever to individually test every available tablet with every available aircraft model - but they're going to do it.  Your cell phone, though, stays off*.


*  Good.  Because I don't want to have to listen to some arrogant fuck or teenager yammering on for the whole flight.

[Duke]

Teenagers don't talk, they text.  It's the arrogant fuck...

[HudsonHawk]

In a nutshell - it'll take them forever to individually test every available tablet with every available aircraft model - but they're going to do it.  Your cell phone, though, stays off*.


*  Good.  Because I don't want to have to listen to some arrogant fuck or teenager yammering on for the whole flight.

The reason cited for banning cellphones is not that it interferes with the flight instrumentation (though theoretically it could interfere with radio communications), but rather that the geometry from individual cell towers and the rapid signal transfer from one tower to another as the plane passes through their field would wreak havoc on the cell tower/landline system capacity.  It's not designed to have phones moving that fast.

[Navin R Johnson]

I had heard the main reason they want all devices powered down pre-takeoff was so that people would pay attention to the safety instructions.   My guess is that SkyMall has a huge lobby and has kept this practice in place as that is the only time anyone looks at their magazine any longer.

[EasTexAstro]

I had heard the main reason they want all devices powered down pre-takeoff was so that people would pay attention to the safety instructions. 

Bring back the cute stewardesses with the short skirts and this would be less of a problem.


(Note: I can count on my fingers the number of times I have actually been on a plane in my life, so I am no expert.)

[HudsonHawk]

Bring back the cute stewardesses with the short skirts and this would be less of a problem.


(Note: I can count on my fingers the number of times I have actually been on a plane in my life, so I am no expert.)

Right...let's bring back the weight requirements and shitcan them when they hit 30.  How progressive of you.

[Ebby Calvin]

I flew United twice last week, each time I had my iPhone on (Airplane mode), earbuds in, playing music during takeoff and landing.  The flight attendant sitting in the jumpseat two feet away from me didn't say a peep.

Also, we didn't crash.

I had heard the main reason they want all devices powered down pre-takeoff was so that people would pay attention to the safety instructions.

My mom was a flight attendant for 35 years, she says they want things powered off for this very reason.

[Limey]

The reason cited for banning cellphones is not that it interferes with the flight instrumentation (though theoretically it could interfere with radio communications), but rather that the geometry from individual cell towers and the rapid signal transfer from one tower to another as the plane passes through their field would wreak havoc on the cell tower/landline system capacity.  It's not designed to have phones moving that fast.

I have never heard that reason before.  It may be technically accurate, but that's not why they tell you turn turn your shit off.

The advent of in-flight wifi has me worried that some soon-to-be-disfigured tosser would try and skype his way across the Atlantic.  I like that this relaxation in regulations applies to e-readers and tablets only - presuming that smartphones can still be used in airline mode outside of takeoff/landing.

[Jacksonian]

Right...let's bring back the weight requirements and shitcan them when they hit 30.  How progressive of you.

He didn't say he wanted them young and skinny.  Maybe he likes a little junk in the trunk under a short skirt worn by an experienced lady.

[Trey]

I have never heard that reason before.  It may be technically accurate, but that's not why they tell you turn turn your shit off.

The advent of in-flight wifi has me worried that some soon-to-be-disfigured tosser would try and skype his way across the Atlantic.  I like that this relaxation in regulations applies to e-readers and tablets only - presuming that smartphones can still be used in airline mode outside of takeoff/landing.

Is there inflight wifi on trans-ocean flights?  I've only seen it on domestic flights

[MusicMan]

He didn't say he wanted them young and skinny.  Maybe he likes a little junk in the trunk under a short skirt worn by an experienced lady.

Much like Alkie, he wants a woman that knows how to work a cockpit.

[Navin R Johnson]

If there was 1/100,000,000,000 chance that a cell phone could cause a plane to crash then passengers would not be able to bring them on board.

[Limey]

I flew United twice last week, each time I had my iPhone on (Airplane mode), earbuds in, playing music during takeoff and landing.  The flight attendant sitting in the jumpseat two feet away from me didn't say a peep.

That's because United suck.

Also, we didn't crash.

That's because you were lucky.

[Limey]

Is there inflight wifi on trans-ocean flights?  I've only seen it on domestic flights

Never seen it transatlantic.  Someone could still earn a good thrashing between here and NYC though.

[Limey]

Similar to this topic, The Onion's readers chime in on the $100 security bypass option.

[EasTexAstro]

Right...let's bring back the weight requirements and shitcan them when they hit 30.  How progressive of you.

They did that?

[HudsonHawk]

I have never heard that reason before.  It may be technically accurate, but that's not why they tell you turn turn your shit off.

They tell you to turn them off because it's a federal requirement.  It's a federal requirement because of why I explained.  At least that's the FCC's explanation.  But as Mojo Nixon says, they're just a bunch of "lily-livered scalawags, full of mendacity".

The advent of in-flight wifi has me worried that some soon-to-be-disfigured tosser would try and skype his way across the Atlantic.  I like that this relaxation in regulations applies to e-readers and tablets only - presuming that smartphones can still be used in airline mode outside of takeoff/landing.

I would assume that plane wi-fi would have some bandwidth restrictions that would in turn restrict some applications?

[NeilT]

They did that?

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

[chuck]

I was on a plance once reading a Kindle, minding my own business. Some failed drama student prances up and tells me to turn off my device as we are preparing for landing. It doesn't have an off switch I say. I don't care, turn it off he hisses. It doesn't have an off switch I say, I cannot turn it off. Fine, he says, put it in the pouch in front of you and don't look at it.

[HudsonHawk]

I was on a plance once reading a Kindle, minding my own business. Some failed drama student prances up and tells me to turn off my device as we are preparing for landing. It doesn't have an off switch I say. I don't care, turn it off he hisses. It doesn't have an off switch I say, I cannot turn it off. Fine, he says, put it in the pouch in front of you and don't look at it.

You should have said "I'll tell you what...you bend over, and I'll shove it straight up your ass. And not look at it."

BTW, my Kindle has a switch.

[strosrays]

Right...let's bring back the weight requirements and shitcan them when they hit 30.  How progressive of you.

Unless they are carrying a bottle of Wesson Oil in their flight bag.  Then they can stay on longer.

[geezerdonk]

You should have said "I'll tell you what...you bend over, and I'll shove it straight up your ass. And not look at it."

That was exactly the reply he was hoping for.

[Noe]

They did that?

Flying Southwest Airlines back in the day was very different than most. I know one person who worked for them back in the day, it pretty much is true.

[Andyzipp]

Flying Southwest Airlines back in the day was very different than most. I know one person who worked for them back in the day, it pretty much is true.

Southwest had weight requirements into the mid/late 90's.  I had some philandering with a Air Waitress during this time.  Before she was allowed to get all fat...professionally.

[HudsonHawk]

Southwest had weight requirements into the mid/late 90's.  I had some philandering with a Air Waitress during this time.  Before she was allowed to get all fat...professionally.

I too "knew" a SWA flight attendant in the late 80's. I remember well her talking about the weekly weigh ins.

[Noe]

I actually did some work for American Airlines at their training facility in Irving. Flight Attendant training included, of all things, grooming. The most unique of which (to me) was "Nail Day", a random nail check day at the training facility to inspect cuticles. Bad nails, one demerit... and after a certain amount of demerits, you were drummed out of the training and sent home, your dreams of being a flight attendant dashed for good.

[Limey]

Shit just got real.  Congress has told the FAA to fix the rules about electronic devices, or they will fuck it all up good and proper do it for them.

"We live in an increasingly connected world, and information is traveling at the speed it takes our email to refresh," McCaskill said. "The current rules are inconvenient to travelers, don't make sense, and lack a scientific basis. Airline employees have the incredibly important job of keeping us safe in the air-their efforts are better spent worrying about rules that actually accomplish that goal."

I'm not sure how being able to talk/email during take-off or landing makes things better.  But I see no reason to have to prohibit the use of devices in airline mode during those times.  I know there's an understanding that this is because they want passengers to pay attention to the safety briefing, but I have never been told to close my book or magazine - or to wake the fuck up - during the briefing, so I'm not sure the precedent's there for the ban on electronics.

[Andyzipp]

Shit just got real.  Congress has told the FAA to fix the rules about electronic devices, or they will fuck it all up good and proper do it for them.

I'm not sure how being able to talk/email during take-off or landing makes things better.  But I see no reason to have to prohibit the use of devices in airline mode during those times.  I know there's an understanding that this is because they want passengers to pay attention to the safety briefing, but I have never been told to close my book or magazine - or to wake the fuck up - during the briefing, so I'm not sure the precedent's there for the ban on electronics.

It's a compliance (or CYA) piece.  I have to deliver compliance related shit to my employees all the time.  Mostly it's via posting on our intranet, and the read rate is less than 5%.  I think safety on a plane would get a similar attention rate.

I have always come back to the idea that if there was any chance that having a phone on in a plane would bring said plane down or debilitate it somehow, phones would never be allowed near the airport.

[HudsonHawk]

It's a compliance (or CYA) piece.  I have to deliver compliance related shit to my employees all the time.  Mostly it's via posting on our intranet, and the read rate is less than 5%.  I think safety on a plane would get a similar attention rate.

I have always come back to the idea that if there was any chance that having a phone on in a plane would bring said plane down or debilitate it somehow, phones would never be allowed near the airport.

I've been told that the reason cell phones are banned on airplanes is because it wreaks havoc on the phone network, not the airplane.  Don't know how much truth to that there is though.

[Limey]

I've been told that the reason cell phones are banned on airplanes is because it wreaks havoc on the phone network, not the airplane.  Don't know how much truth to that there is though.

Thus, PEDs should be fine as long as they are in airline mode or wifi only.

[EasTexAstro]

I think safety on a plane would get a similar attention rate.

new zealand flight safety video

[Andyzipp]

new zealand flight safety video

Better, but if I'm in full on traveler mode, I'm going to watch that 1.5 times.  And then I will have the internal debate about whether or not the air-waitress can see that my noise-canceling headphones are turned on.

[PCOL2000]

I've been an aircrew member on military aircraft for about 13 years and when someone gets a text - a horrible buzz comes through all the interphone systems.  It's similar to interference you hear through a radio when your phone is really close.  It's a real pain in the ass and everyone pretty much stops what they're doing to find the one A-hole to turn off his phone.  (or just put it on airplane mode - it's the signal that the aircraft comm systems pick up)