I hate The Peen.
Who, Braun? I know everyone around here hates him and I know why he's hated but he is such a good hitter and has such a beautiful swing that I simply can't summon the hate that you guys enjoy. I know he's a prick. I know he's a showboat. I know.
This idiot who lived on my floor the first year of college had the nickname Peen. I'm not sure how it started but any time anything good happened he'd throw the front of his shirt up over his head Beavis-style and vigorously rub his chest as if he were a giant dick and he was masturbating himself. My indelible memory of him is one where he's wearing a Lakers shirt. The Lakers were his favorite team. He was from Miami. Yes, he was a total fuckwit. He went on to become a high-powered Republican operative in Florida.
On Pence's throw home that preceded the rundown Valdez was wandering around aimlessly in front of the mound. What the fuck did he think he was doing. Back the catcher up, dumbass.