Copa Mundial 2010

[BizidyDizidy]

Can't get the ESPN feed online -- anybody have another link for this morning's futbol?  Thx.

Do you have an ATT account? I'm using that with ESPN3, works pretty good.

[HudsonHawk]

Do you have an ATT account? I'm using that with ESPN3, works pretty good.

I couldn't figure out ESPN3.  And I'm not exactly gonna go out of my way to watch a soccer game.

[Limey]

That goal was surprising because, I mean, USA is 14th in the world.   

How bad is England?

Worse than you know.  Apparently, we are replacing the hapless Robert Green in goal with David "Calamity" James.  Yes, that is his "official" nickname.  He's had it for years.  Go to youtube and search for "Calamity James" - I can't bring myself to do it.  That's what's in goal for us today.

Somewhere, high up a mountain, in a lofty, cloudy perch, the Gods are weeping.

[Limey]

It was on his second yellow.  Referee was pulling yellow cards when he probably should have been calling fouls.  However, he had done so several times prior to that foul and had called it both ways prior to that foul.  Was he quick on the draw? Probably.  Was it unfair to the German side? No, definitely not.  Both teams should have realized by then that the referee was quick with the yellow card and adjusted their play accordingly. I knew when he committed the foul that a card would come out just by observing how he was calling the game.  

This is all true, and would be totally acceptable if he hadn't changed his tactic in the 2nd half, and only booked half of the ticky-tac (but rulebook bookable) fouls.  Now, I'm as happy to see Germany bite the big one as the next guy - Stanley Spodolski's penalty miss was especially satisfying - but at some point that Spanish clown might ref a game I care about, and that's not cool.

Also, Group C tactics just got thrown into a cement mixer.  Now, finishing 2nd might not be such a bad thing...

[Limey]

How many Slovenians does it take to change a light bulb?

[Alkie]

Let me tell you something.

The USA?  Doesn't play soccer.   This is not our sport.  This is not our tournament.   Let the countries that give a shit have it.

[Limey]

I couldn't figure out ESPN3.  And I'm not exactly gonna go out of my way to watch a soccer game.

You made the right call.

[Bench]

The US reminds me of my High School team.  Just kick it downfield and assume you'll quickly get the ball back, and then a series of random midfield headers just cuz we can.

[Limey]

Let me tell you something.

The USA?  Doesn't play soccer.   This is not our sport.  This is not our tournament.   Let the countries that give a shit have it.

The MBM dude at The Guardian agrees:

Slovenia are manifestly the superior team and deserve to be in the lead. The Americans have been stodgy and predictable (so they learned something from England the other night, then) even if there have been slight hints that they might could score maybe one goal in the second half. But their defence is diabolical so it is almost certain that they will concede, too.

[Lurch]

ESPN commentator pointing out that it's been 4 years since someone has come back from a two goal deficit in the world cup.  Also, I just ate breakfast for the first time since yesterday.

[subnuclear]

I worked with a guy from Slovenia who the biggest anti-American douche I've ever met.  Worse than the French.  I bet he is on cloud 9 right now. 

[rifraft]

Let me tell you something.

The USA?  Doesn't play soccer.   This is not our sport.  This is not our tournament.   Let the countries that give a shit have it.

I owe you lunch, alkie.  This pathetic showing makes me feel guilty for not having lost the bet.

[Alkie]

Wins for Team USA in World Cup:
2010 - 0
2006 - 0
2002 - 2
1998 - 0
1994 - 1 (as the fucking HOST)
1990 - 0

For the love of fucking god, someone, ANYONE, tell me why we're all under this insane belief that USA is, at WORST, an average soccer team.   I'm pretty good with geography and I've never heard of at least 4 of the countries the USA has lost to in the last 20 years.

[Alkie]

I owe you lunch, alkie.  This pathetic showing makes me feel guilty for not having lost the bet.

Nah, it was a tie.  And sure, that makes me bored to tears, but if it's good enough for soccer, it's good enough for gambling.

[Limey]

Nah, it was a tie.  And sure, that makes me bored to tears, but if it's good enough for soccer, it's good enough for gambling.

Works in blackjack, everyone keeps their money.  Funny how I don't hear anyone bleating about ties at the blackjack table.

[Alkie]

Works in blackjack, everyone keeps their money.  Funny how I don't hear anyone bleating about ties at the blackjack table.

I'm ok with ties in games of chance.  Games of skill or games of competition are not the same thing.

[Limey]

I'm ok with ties in games of chance.  Games of skill or games of competition are not the same thing.

Blackjack isn't a game of chance.  The house always wins.

[Alkie]

Blackjack isn't a game of chance.  The house always wins.

Point taken.

[HudsonHawk]

Blackjack isn't a game of chance.  The house always wins.

No, no, no.  Every person who's ever been to Vegas swears up and down they win.  Every.  Single.  Time.  It's amazing that the casinos can stay in business the way people keep taking their money.

[Limey]

No, no, no.  Every person who's ever been to Vegas swears up and down they win.  Every.  Single.  Time.  It's amazing that the casinos can stay in business the way people keep taking their money.

I have walked out of casinos with house money, but I have never left Vegas doing anything other than breaking even (i.e. table profits paying for the balance of the weekend - flights & hotels excluded).  And I've only done that twice out of maybe 8 visits.  I agree that anyone who claims otherwise over the long term is a liar.  It's actually a proven psychological fact! that gamblers only remember when they win.

[subnuclear]

I have walked out of casinos with house money, but I have never left Vegas doing anything other than breaking even (i.e. table profits paying for the balance of the weekend - flights & hotels excluded).  And I've only done that twice out of maybe 8 visits.  I agree that anyone who claims otherwise over the long term is a liar.  It's actually a proven psychological fact! that gamblers only remember when they win.

I knew a doctor who claimed he could count 5 decks of cards in blackjack.  He was a really smart guy, but that's also the kind of thing a compulsive gambler says. 

[Alkie]

I take it all back.

[Ebby Calvin]

WOW.  Tied.

[AtascAstro]

Not.Done.Yet

[Ty in Tampa]

Equalized!!!

[MusicMan]

SUCK IT ALKIE!!!

[rifraft]

Holy hell.  What a set up by Altidore.  Money finish by Bradley.

[Ty in Tampa]

WTF!!!

[Limey]

Holy hell.  What a set up by Altidore.  Money finish by Bradley.

...udgirl...Paging B...

No, not that Bradley, and not that kind of "money finish".

[AtascAstro]

Reffing horrible all day

[rifraft]

Reffing horrible all day

what did he call?  terrible.  fucking horrible.

[MusicMan]

USA just got fucked, no lube.

[AtascAstro]

what did he call?  terrible.  fucking horrible.

Apparently, Bradley illegally wrapped the defender's arms around his midsection, thus giving him an unfair advantage.

Rubbish!!!

[Ty in Tampa]

3 fucking USAers held on that goal. FUCK THAT!!!!

[MusicMan]

Not often you have to play a man down with no one sent off.

[Limey]

3 fucking USAers held on that goal. FUCK THAT!!!!

There's nothing quite like getting jobbed, World Cup style.

[HudsonHawk]

So who won?

[Ty in Tampa]

So who won?

You.

[AtascAstro]

So who won?

The English.

[MusicMan]

So who won?

the gamblers that payrolled the ref.

[Ebby Calvin]

So - correct me if I'm wrong,

Slovenia - 4 pts
USA - 2 pts
England - 1 pt
Algeria - 0 pts

Meaning the US needs England to lose/tie (1-1) to Slovenia to advance, assuming Algeria loses all three games.  Right?

[HudsonHawk]

There's nothing quite like getting jobbed, World Cup style.

Why didn't one of you blokes knock that little fuck on his ass while he was dribbling (is that the right word in socceer) around you like he was a fucking Harlem Globetrotter?

[MusicMan]

Assuming England win today, they need any non draw in the England slovenia game.

[Alkie]

SUCK IT ALKIE!!!

Wow.  Another tie.  Awesome.

[rifraft]

So - correct me if I'm wrong,

Slovenia - 4 pts
USA - 2 pts
England - 1 pt
Algeria - 0 pts

Meaning the US needs England to lose/tie (1-1) to Slovenia to advance, assuming Algeria loses all three games.  Right?

US and England beat Algeria and England beats Slovenia, US advances.

[Ebby Calvin]

Assuming England win today, they need any non draw in the England slovenia game.

Gotcha.  Thanks.

[subnuclear]

Assuming England win today, they need any non draw in the England slovenia game.

What would happen if the US, Slovenia and Limeyville all end up with 5 points?

[HudsonHawk]

What would happen if the US, Slovenia and Limeyville all end up with 5 points?

They have a blackjack tournament in Vegas to decide who advances.

[AtascAstro]

What would happen if the US, Slovenia and Limeyville all end up with 5 points?

GD in the respective Algeria matches, then draw lots, right?

[Limey]

FWIW, a 2-2 tie > a 1-1 tie, because the second tie-breaker after goal difference is goals scored.  Let me try and break this down:

Assuming that England beats Algeria today...

USA can expect to finish with 5 points by beating Algeria in Game #3.  If England beats Slovenia, that puts England and USA through as 1st and 2nd in the group with 7 and 5 points respectively, Slovenia finishing with 4 and Algeria 0.

If England ties Slovenia, that creates a three-way tie on points.  Slovenia are in the most peril in this scenario, as they beat Algeria only 1-0.  If England and USA each beat Algeria by more than 1 goal, then Slovenia is out and the tie-breakers will further decide which of England and USA is 1st and 2nd.

If England loses to Slovenia, Slovenia wins the group and USA goes through in 2nd place.

If anyone loses or even ties Algeria, they will likely, and should, go home, but the permutations become too myriad to bother with here.

[Limey]

Why didn't one of you blokes knock that little fuck on his ass while he was dribbling (is that the right word in socceer) around you like he was a fucking Harlem Globetrotter?

It's worse than you think.  This is what happened immediately after the re-start.  This was in the 80's, so lopping off a leg would've brought only a yellow.  To be honest, I would've taken a red to have crocked that cheating little fuck.  And I would've done it after the whistle.  If there are no rules...then it's 'Nam, right?

[rifraft]

It's worse than you think.  This is what happened immediately after the re-start.  This was in the 80's, so lopping off a leg would've brought only a yellow.  To be honest, I would've taken a red to have crocked that cheating little fuck.  And I would've done it after the whistle.  If there are no rules...then it's 'Nam, right?

One of the greatest WC goals of all time.

[Limey]

Congrats to Team USA.  A win over Algeria next Wednesday puts you into the next round in all but the whackiest of scenarios.  As far as I can tell, the worst predicament, would be to fall into a lot-drawing with England and/or Slovenia.

All assuming the win over Algeria (who should be mathematically eliminated by England in a few hours).

[Limey]

One of the greatest WC goals of all time.

And some of the shittiest defending ever seen since my balls dropped.

[Limey]

A fan speaks out against vuvuzelas.

[HudsonHawk]

Ok, just saw the replay of the disallowed goal.  Granted my understanding of soccer rules is pretty week, so can someone explain *why* that wasn't offsides?  From every replay I saw, there was clearly no other Slovenia player between him and the goalkeeper when the pass was made.

[MusicMan]

Ok, just saw the replay of the disallowed goal.  Granted my understanding of soccer rules is pretty week, so can someone explain *why* that wasn't offsides?  From every replay I saw, there was clearly no other Slovenia player between him and the goalkeeper when the pass was made.

Then we weren't watching the same thing.  All US attackers were either behind Slovenian defenders, or being tenderly held by them, when the ball was struck.

And the ref didn't call offsides, he called a foul on Edu, which is absoluite bullshit.

[HudsonHawk]

And the ref didn't call offsides, he called a foul on Edu, which is absoluite bullshit.

Yahoo recap says it was an offsides call on Bradley*.  And every angle I saw showed him clearly between any defender and the goalkeeper when the ball was struck.  I get that he was being mauled from behind at the time, but the defender *was* behind him, and I can't see where he wasn't offsides.  But if that wasn't the call, then it's a moot point.

*Edited

[Limey]

Yahoo recap says it was an offsides call on Bradley*.  And every angle I saw showed him clearly between any defender and the goalkeeper when the ball was struck.  I get that he was being mauled from behind at the time, but the defender *was* behind him, and I can't see where he wasn't offsides.  But if that wasn't the call, then it's a moot point.

*Edited

Did anyone see if the lineman assistant flagged?  If he did, then it's on him (although the referee has the option to overrule him, but they rarely do*).  If there was no flag, then the offside call is the ref backsliding to cover for his own error.

* They should be watching for everything except offside, because the assistant is doing that.

[HudsonHawk]

Did anyone see if the lineman assistant flagged?  If he did, then it's on him (although the referee has the option to overrule him, but they rarely do*).  If there was no flag, then the offside call is the ref backsliding to cover for his own error.

* They should be watching for everything except offside, because the assistant is doing that.

Is the linesman the other guy in the yellow standing on the sidelines?  If so, then no, he didn't raise his flag, at least not that I could see.  But Bradley was clearly between the goal and the guy buttfucking him.  Does the fact that he's fighting off a rabid Slovenian penis cancel out his being offsides?  Should something else have been called? 

[Limey]

Is the linesman the other guy in the yellow standing on the sidelines?  If so, then no, he didn't raise his flag, at least not that I could see.  But Bradley was clearly between the goal and the guy buttfucking him.  Does the fact that he's fighting off a rabid Slovenian penis cancel out his being offsides?  Should something else have been called? 

No flag means no offside.  That can't be it.

FTR, the offside rule was softened a few years ago to discriminate between players who are actively seeking to play the ball, and those who are "inactive", i.e. innocently offside and not involving themselves in the play.  Therefore, an attacking player who is behind the last defender is not offside until he makes a positive move to play, or even chase, the ball.

A very good example happened in the Germany - Serbia game today.  A Serbian striker was standing about six yards from goal, and about six yards behind the last defender, when a shot was fired in from distance.  No flag as the striker was not "active".  The shot hit the post and came back near to the striker; still no flag as he stood there flat-footed and still "inactive.".  Then he raised a leg towards the ball in an idiotic attempt the control it even though it was way out of his reach...flag.

Basically, when in an offside position, you have to stand there like a kid next to a smashed vase, until the play passes you and you are brought back onside.

[Ty in Tampa]

Should something else have been called? 

Illegal injection?

[HudsonHawk]

No flag means no offside.  That can't be it.

So the refereee can't call offside?  That must not have been the call then, even though Bradley clearly was.

Basically, when in an offside position, you have to stand there like a kid next to a smashed vase, until the play passes you and you are brought back onside.

Well, this was not Bradley today.  He was clearly making a move in the play.  But I guess it doesn't matter, if offside wasn't the call. 

Does the referee not announce or signal or something what the call was? 

[WakePhil]

Does the referee not announce or signal or something what the call was? 

Donovan says...

I'm a little gutted to be honest," Donovan said. "I don't know how they stole that last goal from us. I'm not sure what the call was. He (the referee) wouldn't tell us what the call was.

[AtascAstro]

There was a linesman in the same side of the kick, perfectly positioned to call an offsides.  He did not, the referee was in no position to call offsides from behind the action.

The referee gave a free kick, which indicates a foul.  I believe that offsides would be goal kick.

Edit:  Don't really know what I'm talking about it, just trying to restate the non-American ESPN commentators comment about whether it was offsides or a foul.  For some reason I thought the keeper took the kick on an offsides, similar to after a goal or out of bounds on the back line, but I'm pretty sure I'm wrong.

[Bench]

So the refereee can't call offside?  That must not have been the call then, even though Bradley clearly was.

He can, but it's generally the linesman's job.

Well, this was not Bradley today.  He was clearly making a move in the play.  But I guess it doesn't matter, if offside wasn't the call. 

The play went past Bradley.  Just because he was moving doesn't mean he was in the play. 

I also disagree that he was offsides.  It's pretty much impossible to be offsides when you're being fully embraced by an opposing player.  By definition, you're on the same plane.
 

Does the referee not announce or signal or something what the call was? 

He doesn't have to.

[HudsonHawk]

Donovan says...

Well that's no good.  The referee should at least make a call or give a signal or something..."offsides on No. 21...foul on No. 10...unnecessary buttfucking by No. 6"....somthing, you know.  How can you not hold the referee accountable for making call?

[HudsonHawk]

It's pretty much impossible to be offsides when you're being fully embraced by an opposing player.  By definition, you're on the same plane.

No you're not.  I can grab and bear hug you from behind, as well as from the side.  NTTAWWT.
 

He doesn't have to.

Reason number 4,287 why this is the worst sport in the world.

[Bench]

No you're not.  I can grab and bear hug you from behind, as well as from the side.  NTTAWWT.

In the clutch of your embrace, your arm would still be between me and the goal.  

[AtascAstro]

No you're not.  I can grab and bear hug you from behind, as well as from the side.  NTTAWWT.
  
Reason number 4,287 why this is the worst sport in the world.

But from the video angle, the SerbSlov player is actually invisible*.  Which, given the angle of the shot, means that he is, at the moment of ball strike, at least parallel to Bradley if not slightly ahead.

If the referee could see Bradley well enough to call him offsides, then he could not have missed the bear hug.

**image taken from 2:42 of ESPN highlight

[HudsonHawk]

In the clutch of your embrace, your arm would still be between me and the goal.  

Only after I caressed you in my arms.  And does that invalidate an offside call?

[HudsonHawk]

But from the video angle, the Serb player is actually invisible*.  Which, given the angle of the shot, means that he is, at the moment of ball strike, at least parallel to Bradley if not slightly ahead.

Absolutely not.  Bradley, and his bald head are clearly between the defender and the goal.  I'm not sure how you can possibly see it any other way.

Apparently this was not the call anyway.

[Bench]

Only after I caressed you in my arms.  And does that invalidate an offside call?

A part of you would be between me and the goal, so I wouldn't be offsides. 

[HudsonHawk]

A part of you would be between me and the goal, so I wouldn't be offsides. 

But most of you would be between me and the goal.  Do my portion over rule your portion? 

[Alkie]

Reason number 4,287 why this is the worst sport in the world.

Everyone comes around eventually.

I can't say exactly what did it for me, but I finally lost total interest in the first round somewhere after the equalizer and the non-goal.   Reading about the tiebreakers that wouldn't have to be here at all if every game had a fucking winner and a fucking loser isn't helping.   This sport is so half assed, it's actually making me angry.

[JackAstro]

Absolutely not.  Bradley, and his bald head are clearly between the defender and the goal.  I'm not sure how you can possibly see it any other way.

Apparently this was not the call anyway.

It was not the call, but I did just see another angle where it's clear that Bradley was on the same plane as the defender, both of them turned toward the sideline. He had also been in the special hug for a number of strides up to that point. He wasn't offsides, and as AtascAstro pointed out, if the ref had even been looking at Bradley enough to call something, it would have been been the aggressive dry-humping and a penalty kick.

[Bench]

But most of you would be between me and the goal.  Do my portion over rule your portion? 

Well, you're a lot bigger than me.  So we'd have to take that into account.

[rifraft]

Absolutely not.  Bradley, and his bald head are clearly between the defender and the goal.  I'm not sure how you can possibly see it any other way.

Apparently this was not the call anyway.

If the defenders penis is 16 inches long and goes from behind the player, through his legs, and ends in front of the player, the player is on side.  But this is a moot point, the flag wasn't up on the sideline.

[AtascAstro]

Absolutely not.  Bradley, and his bald head are clearly between the defender and the goal.  I'm not sure how you can possibly see it any other way.

Because I can't see the Slovenian player behind Bradley either, which means they are at least even.  As the play progresses, the SerbSlov player suddlent appears from behind Bradley.  I can't believe that you are being fooled by the camera angle.

Here is another view.  The ball is in flight, at the Slovenian player's right knee.  You can clearly see two Slovenian defenders with Bradley between them.  Bradley is in no way, behind the last defender.

Edit:  Serbia/Slovenia, same difference.

[HudsonHawk]

Everyone comes around eventually.

I can't say exactly what did it for me, but I finally lost total interest in the first round somewhere after the equalizer and the non-goal.   Reading about the tiebreakers that wouldn't have to be here at all if every game had a fucking winner and a fucking loser isn't helping.   This sport is so half assed, it's actually making me angry.

So here's a partial list of the most ridiculous things about soccer:

1.  It's played against a clock, but no one knows exactly how long a game will last.
2.  The referee can call anything he wants and does not have to explain what he called to anyone.
3.  There doesn't have to be, and frequently isn't, a winner in the game.

And this sport is popular exactly why?

[HudsonHawk]

If the defenders penis is 16 inches long and goes from behind the player, through his legs, and ends in front of the player, the player is on side.

Hmmm...I'll have to be careful then, next time I'm on defense.

[JackAstro]

So here's a partial list of the most ridiculous things about soccer:

1.  It's played against a clock, but no one knows exactly how long a game will last.
2.  The referee can call anything he wants and does not have to explain what he called to anyone.
3.  There doesn't have to be, and frequently isn't, a winner in the game.

And this sport is popular exactly why?

This guy.

[HudsonHawk]

Because I can't see the Slovenian player behind Bradley either, which means they are at least even.

If you can't see the Slovenian player, you're either blind or simply ignoring him.  He's as plain as day, his bright white jersey sticking out like a 16 inch penis.  

[Bench]

If you can't see the Slovenian player, you're either blind or simply ignoring him.  He's as plain as day, his bright white jersey sticking out like a 16 inch penis.  

You are the only person I've seen or heard that thinks Bradley was offsides.  You also admittedly know very little about soccer, or the game's rules. 

See where I'm going here?

[HudsonHawk]

This guy.

YOU gotta be shittin' me!

[JackAstro]

You are the only person I've seen or heard that thinks Bradley was offsides.  You also admittedly know very little about soccer, or the game's rules.  

See where I'm going here?

I'm not following you.

[Bench]

I'm not following you.

Is that because you're blind or simply ignoring me?

[HudsonHawk]

You are the only person I've seen or heard that thinks Bradley was offsides.  You also admittedly know very little about soccer, or the game's rules.  

Yahoo said he was offsides, and when the game was being played live, the TV people thought he was offside.  He was clearly between the defender and the goal when the ball left Donovan's foot.  That cannot be argued objectively.  I have admitted that I didn't know the rule about the penis, which is why I asked in the first place.

See where I'm going here?

Not really.

[JackAstro]

Is that because you're blind or simply ignoring me?

/awards free kick to Hudson

[JimR]

You are the only person I've seen or heard that thinks Bradley was offsides.  You also admittedly know very little about soccer, or the game's rules. 

See where I'm going here?

you've been around long enough to know that HH takes a side opposite of the consensus view, then shouts "YOU ARE WRONG!" as loud and as often as he can.

[HudsonHawk]

you've been around long enough to know that HH takes a side opposite of the consensus view, then shouts "YOU ARE WRONG!" as loud and as often as he can.

YOU ARE WRONG!

[Bench]

you've been around long enough to know that HH takes a side opposite of the consensus view, then shouts "YOU ARE WRONG!" as loud and as often as he can.

I know.  And yet I'm always amused to watch it play out.

HH and Alkie are enjoying playing the role of soccer troll.

[HudsonHawk]

I know.  And yet I'm always amused to watch it play out.

HH and Alkie are enjoying playing the role of soccer troll.

It's more interesting than the game itself.

[Bench]

Yahoo said he was offsides, and when the game was being played live, the TV people thought he was offside.

The TV people thought he was called offside, and upon reviewing the replay dismissed it as obviously not being the case.

 He was clearly between the defender and the goal when the ball left Donovan's foot.  That cannot be argued objectively.

That Bradley was offside can only be argued subjectively.  He clearly wasn't.

[rifraft]

It's more interesting than the game itself.

The thing that continually amazes me about world class football is the quality of the 1st touches.  Especially the English side in this game, no matter what kind of ball is sent their way, a high lob, a line drive, a bouncing ball, they are able to control the ball amazingly well.  That's the big difference between US soccer and the world class football played in Europe, players just don't have nearly the skill, manifested by weak 1st touches in comparison.

[AtascAstro]

you've been around long enough to know that HH takes a side opposite of the consensus view, then shouts "YOU ARE WRONG!" as loud and as often as he can.

Some hunt Sasquatch or Nessie, I too hope to see the impossible.  I think UH gets their Big XII invite long before HH concedes an arguement.

[HudsonHawk]

The TV people thought he was called offside, and upon reviewing the replay dismissed it as obviously not being the case.

That's what I mean.

That Bradley was offside can only be argued subjectively.  He clearly wasn't.

He was clearly between the defender and the goal.  That's simply a matter of geography.  You say it doesn't constitute "offside" as either the defender's hands or his penis may have extended past Bradley...and I believe you.

[HudsonHawk]

The thing that continually amazes me about world class football is the quality of the 1st touches.  Especially the English side in this game, no matter what kind of ball is sent their way, a high lob, a line drive, a bouncing ball, they are able to control the ball amazingly well.  That's the big difference between US soccer and the world class football played in Europe, players just don't have nearly the skill, manifested by weak 1st touches in comparison.

So if the English have such superior first touches, why doesn't that translate to actually winning a game?  Are first touches not that important? 

[JimR]

Some hunt Sasquatch or Nessie, I too hope to see the impossible.  I think UH gets their Big XII invite long before HH concedes an arguement.

he never even concedes that there is an argument. HE IS RIGHT!

[HudsonHawk]

he never even concedes that there is an argument. HE IS RIGHT!

Most peoples' lives would be a lot richer if they'd come to this same conclusion.

[matadorph]

That's what I mean.

He was clearly between the defender and the goal.  That's simply a matter of geography.  You say it doesn't constitute "offside" as either the defender's hands or his penis may have extended past Bradley...and I believe you.

Limey already explained it to you, but you're too busy arguing and thumping your chest to understand why YOU ARE WRONG.

Bradley was not actively involved in playing the ball. The Brit announcer said as much when he said, "it can't be offside unless it was Edu because he was the only one who was active in the play."

Go watch the youtube replay again. Even if you are right about this "matter of geography," you're still wrong about the matter of the offside rule itself. Bradley stopped and didn't make a play on the ball, hence no offside.

[HudsonHawk]

Limey already explained it to you, but you're too busy arguing and thumping your chest to understand why YOU ARE WRONG.

I'm not wrong, I just didn't know the answer.  That's why I asked the question.

[Guinness]

On another tack, I watched the England/USA game at a party, so couldn't hear the tv, but now watching England v Algeria, I think it's kind of funny to have the Sky Sports regular crew of Martin Tyler and Andy Grey (well, the last time I was there they were).  Millions of Americans are watching this and hearing Andy Grey and going "What the fuck is that guy saying?"

[Alkie]

So here's a partial list of the most ridiculous things about soccer:

1.  It's played against a clock, but no one knows exactly how long a game will last.
2.  The referee can call anything he wants and does not have to explain what he called to anyone.
3.  There doesn't have to be, and frequently isn't, a winner in the game.

And this sport is popular exactly why?

Because it's cheap.   That's it.  You can make a soccer ball out of just about anything and can play it just about anywhere.   Sport of the people.

[HudsonHawk]

Because it's cheap.   That's it.  You can make a soccer ball out of just about anything and can play it just about anywhere.   Sport of the people.

When *I* was a kid, we used a cardboard box for a glove.  We made our balls out baling wire and dog turds...

[Alkie]

When *I* was a kid, we used a cardboard box for a glove.  We made our balls out bailing wire and dog turds...

Right.   But if you were playing soccer, you could skip the cardboard and bailing wire and just use turds for balls and be a sports star.

[Bench]

Because it's cheap.   That's it.  You can make a soccer ball out of just about anything and can play it just about anywhere.   Sport of the people.

And if you live in one of those unfortunate parts of the world where a child picks up the shiny land mine, the kid can still play.

[JackAstro]

How ya doin' Limey? Deep breaths, buddy.

[Lurch]

How ya doin' Limey? Deep breaths, buddy.

I assumed the odometer rolled over on their 10th goal, no?

[Guinness]

Carragher? Hesky? Gerrard? Lampard? Cole?  Didn't these guys play in '66?  Shouldn't the score be 5-0 by now?

[MRaup]

On another tack, I watched the England/USA game at a party, so couldn't hear the tv, but now watching England v Algeria, I think it's kind of funny to have the Sky Sports regular crew of Martin Tyler and Andy Grey (well, the last time I was there they were).  Millions of Americans are watching this and hearing Andy Grey and going "What the fuck is that guy saying?"

I love all the crazy soccer slang I don't understand at all. When being shouted by a guy with an accent I don't understand, it's even more entertaining.

[Alkie]

How ya doin' Limey? Deep breaths, buddy.

What are you talking about?   England is/are/vosotros tied.   This is the first round, baby. 

[AtascAstro]

Wow...USA gets a boost there.  2-2 tie > 0-0 tie.  Plus, USA plays last and will know what they need to advance.

[Matt]

What are you talking about?   England is/are/vosotros tied.   This is the first round, baby. 

A 0-0 tie with Algeria puts more pressure on them against Slovenia.

[Lurch]

What are you talking about?   England is/are/vosotros tied.   This is the first round, baby. 

So, it is now entirely possible that someone will get out of this group into the next round without a single win.  Just good ties.  Awesome.

[Bench]

Wow...USA gets a boost there.  2-2 tie > 0-0 tie.  Plus, USA plays last and will know what they need to advance.

The games are played simultaneously.  But still, win and in.

[AtascAstro]

So, it is now entirely possible that someone will get out of this group into the next round without a single win.  Just good ties.  Awesome.

and that would most likely be us, unless the Englad v Slovenia is a 3-3 (or greater) tie.  Hooray Futbol!

[AtascAstro]

The games are played simultaneously.  But still, win and in.

ahhh...important to read times and not just look at sorted order.

[Alkie]

So, it is now entirely possible that someone will get out of this group into the next round without a single win.  Just good ties.  Awesome.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzBOOM

Could you all hear that, or was it just inside my head?

[Alkie]

2-2 tie > 0-0 tie. 

NO.

NO.  NO.  NO.

No.

How is it more awesome that I gave up 2 goals than you did?

[austro]

How is it more awesome that I gave up 2 goals than you did?

I scored 2 more than you did, and chicks dig the long ball.

[chuck]

You know merry ole England's football tradition is on a downward slide when the super special offensive weapon the team subs in once the game gets to a critical point is the moral equivalent of Hunter Pence.

[Alkie]

So here's where we are now, right?

SLOVENIA IN IF:
1) Slovenia win
2) USA win and Slovenia tie
3) USA tie

USA IN IF:
1) USA win, England win
2) USA win, England tie
3) USA tie, England tie and inexplicably England doesn't have at least 2 more goals in their match than USA has in theirs (W.  T.   F.)
4) USA tie, Slovenia win

ENGLAND IN IF:
1) England win
2) England tie, USA tie and inexplicably England has at least 2 more goals in their match than USA has in theirs

ALGERIA IN IF:
1) Algeria win, Slovenia tie or win

Right?


ETA:   So the winner of the England/Slovenia match is in.   Slovenia is the only team that could possibly lose and still make the next round.   The loser of USA/Algeria is done.

[Alkie]

I scored 2 more than you did, and chicks dig the long ball.

But.......you gave UP two more goals than I did.   Your defense is exactly as much worse than my offense is better.

[Matt]

But.......you gave UP two more goals than I did.   Your defense is exactly as much worse than my offense is better.

Its all about goals scored.

[OregonStrosFan]

A little late to this party, but isn't jobbing the Americans a favorite pastime of World Cup refs?  [Was looking for the news of the '02(?) gaffe and ran across this 'timeline.'  LINK ].

[MusicMan]

But.......you gave UP two more goals than I did.   Your defense is exactly as much worse than my offense is better.

I assumed it was a rule put in to encourage scoring, in response to, yu know, folks like you.

[Alkie]

I assumed it was a rule put in to encourage scoring, in response to, yu know, folks like you.

Show me one time where I suggested that that problem with this game was a lack of goals.  Show me.   

[Limey]

On another tack, I watched the England/USA game at a party, so couldn't hear the tv, but now watching England v Algeria, I think it's kind of funny to have the Sky Sports regular crew of Martin Tyler and Andy Grey (well, the last time I was there they were).  Millions of Americans are watching this and hearing Andy Grey and going "What the fuck is that guy saying?"

It's actually Ally McCoist.  Different person, same level of incomprehensibility.

[Guinness]

It's actually Ally McCoist.  Different person, same level of incomprehensibility.

yeah I found that out later.  They sound amazingly alike.  Somebody should investigate.

[Lurch]

At least FIFA is looking into sitting the ref.

[Limey]

I am not sure that I have ever been so angry and embarrassed at something outside my control.  If it was up to me, I would send the entire fucking lot home and replace them with fat cunts like myself who actually gave a shit.  A more bland, going through the motions event I have not seen in a very long time.

My solution: execute Tony Heyward by firing squad before the Slovenia game, and tell the players "You're next!"

What a fucking disaster.  The England team deserves nothing.  The formation sucked, the organisation blew and clealry...and I mean punch in the fucking face clearly...didn't give a shit.  Put 'em all on a slow boat back to England...via Somalia.

I hate Emile Heskey.  He's rubbish.  A reporter once said that he wished he could kick the ball as far as Emile Heskey can trap it.  Think about that.  It's a huuuuge insult.  I think Emile Heskey was England's only functional player today.  And he got taken off half way though the turgid pile of dogshit that was the second half.

In case you were wondering, I have calmed down significantly since the final whistle.

[HudsonHawk]

Ok Limey, I'm getting mixed signals here. Are you saying you're *not* happy with England's performance?

[chuck]

The idiot who refereed today's US-Slovenia match is likely to get shitcanned:

http://g.sports.yahoo.com/soccer/world-cup/news/source-fifa-may-sit-slovenia-u-s-referee--fbintl_ro-referee061810.html

"Coulibaly appeared to rule that American midfielder Michael Bradley had impeded a Slovenian defender, even though video replays showed no infringement."

Sure, Bradley impeded a Slovenian defender a lot like that Tech kicker impeded Tony Brackens.

The refereeing in futbol is always frustrating but I really don't see why it should be so bad at the World Cup level. That Greek fuck the other day who fell to the ground writhing around in agony like someone had told him he couldn't retire until 70 like the rest of us got the poor Nigerian kid a red card for swinging his foot in that Greek fuck's general direction. Get the fuck up you goddam broke-ass sodomist.

[Limey]

Ok Limey, I'm getting mixed signals here. Are you saying you're *not* happy with England's performance?

At this point, I wish we didn't have another game. 

[Lurch]

Check out the heat map of World Cup related Internet traffic.  Central Texas hot spot

[Matt]

At this point, I wish we didn't have another game. 

The Astros or England?

[Limey]

The Astros or England?

Excactly.

[austro]

The Astros or England?

Everybody knows the Astros don't have much, so that's easier to take. The English side are like the Cubs: lots of hype, not many results.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

So what is the ruling when a 16 inch penis comes in contact with the ball? Illegal use of penis or is it considered another type of header?

[Alkie]

Univision is doing its part to make me like soccer more. 

I highly recommend their pre/post game to ABC and ESPN.

[Alkie]

From Limey's precious Guardian:


While New Zealand have been fibrous, to say the least, some of the Italian histrionics have been a wee bit unpalatable. After a foul by Killen, De Rossi wears the grimace of a man who has just lost his Dawson's Creek boxset.


Now that's some funny shit.

[austro]

From Limey's precious Guardian:


While New Zealand have been fibrous, to say the least, some of the Italian histrionics have been a wee bit unpalatable. After a foul by Killen, De Rossi wears the grimace of a man who has just lost his Dawson's Creek boxset.


Now that's some funny shit.

After watching Bradley (and others) get assaulted in the box, it's pretty annoying to see the Italians get a penalty kick because somebody touched DeRossi.

And somebody needs to tell HH that Lucy Lawless is in the stands.

[Lurch]

Oh man that was close.  NZL would erupt

[Alkie]

Well, I hate to admit this, but this NZL/ITA match may have changed some things for me.

1) God help me, I'm rooting for a tie.  Dammit.
2) This is easily the most excited I've been 89 minutes into a match so far.
3) I think I'm starting to get the fouls and some of the rules that I clearly didn't get before.

[Bench]

It's been a fantastic effort from the Kiwis. 

[Bench]

The French team is the gift that keeps on giving.  After Anelka got kicked off the team for telling his coach to go get ass-fucked during the last game, the rest of the team has refused to practice.  Now, the team director has resigned from the French football federation.

[austro]

The French team is the gift that keeps on giving.  After Anelka got kicked off the team for telling his coach to go get ass-fucked during the last game, the rest of the team has refused to practice.  Now, the team director has resigned from the French football federation.

Classic. They're surrendering to THEMSELVES.

[Lurch]

Bob Ley just interviewed a French reporter live on ESPN and he explained what was said by flat out quoting "Go to fuck yourself you son of a bitch"

[Alkie]

Pardon his French?

[Bench]

I like how Bob apologized for the "frankness" of the comment.

No pun intended

[Rebel Jew]

Well, I hate to admit this, but this NZL/ITA match may have changed some things for me.

1) God help me, I'm rooting for a tie.  Dammit.
2) This is easily the most excited I've been 89 minutes into a match so far.
3) I think I'm starting to get the fouls and some of the rules that I clearly didn't get before.

i was rooting for new zealand to win.  they interviewed the new zealand player after and even he said that he was disappointed they couldn't get the win.  whoopie!  we played for the tie and got it!  yay!

[Alkie]

i was rooting for new zealand to win.  they interviewed the new zealand player after and even he said that he was disappointed they couldn't get the win.  whoopie!  we played for the tie and got it!  yay!

Right, let me rephrase, I wish NZ had won OBVIOUSLY, but with 2 minutes to go in the match and it was clear the ball was going to be Italy's the rest of the time, I was just hoping it would end in a tie (rather than a NZ loss; not over a NZ win).

[Alkie]

Bob is apologizing again in case you were "disturbed" by the comments made by the French reporter. 

This country is full of Puritan vaginas.

[Rebel Jew]

Right, let me rephrase, I wish NZ had won OBVIOUSLY, but with 2 minutes to go in the match and it was clear the ball was going to be Italy's the rest of the time, I was just hoping it would end in a tie (rather than a NZ loss; not over a NZ win).

agreed, but i can't see how this is the greatest world cup upset ever or whatever the announcer was intimating unless the team actually wins. 

[Alkie]

agreed, but i can't see how this is the greatest world cup upset ever or whatever the announcer was intimating unless the team actually wins. 

Yeah, I said the exact same thing out loud here.   It may be a massive shock, but it's not a fucking upset.   

[matadorph]

In case you missed it, the clip's already on youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKc5U5ut-vM

[Noe]

Ghana vs. Australia and Italy vs New Zealand were very exciting matches.  Those were fun to watch!

[JackAstro]

...Sure, Bradley impeded a Slovenian defender a lot like that Tech kicker impeded Tony Brackens...

YTIFY

[chuck]

Ghana vs. Australia and Italy vs New Zealand were very exciting matches.  Those were fun to watch!

And if you don't like draws, speaking frankly, you can go to fuck yourself.

[Alkie]

And if you don't like draws, speaking frankly, you can go to fuck yourself.

I do and I will.   That being said, I do hate draws, but I felt much better about them today.   I was definitely happier to see NZ tie than lose after that match was over. 

Plus...fuck Italy.

[austro]

And if you don't like draws, speaking frankly, you can go to fuck yourself, you son of a bitch.

FIFY.

[chuck]

Goddam Italian couldn't organize a fuck in a brothel, how the hell are they supposed to be any good at team sports?

[Limey]

Goddam Italian couldn't organize a fuck in a brothel, how the hell are they supposed to be any good at team sports?

Here's an explanation.

[Alkie]

Here's an explanation.

Yeah, I'll grant everyone that Mexico doesn't seem to field a team of the most likable characters on Earth, but how could anyone not from Italy root for the Italians?   They manage the almost impossible; they're both pussies AND dicks.

[Limey]

Yeah, I'll grant everyone that Mexico doesn't seem to field a team of the most likable characters on Earth, but how could anyone not from Italy root for the Italians?   They manage the almost impossible; they're both pussies AND dicks.

They only got past Australia last time around by "falling over" a (stupid) defender who'd been on the ground for about 5 minutes.  The juxtaposition of Italy's "penalty" with the US' disallowed goal is enormous.

[Limey]

Yeah, I'll grant everyone that Mexico doesn't seem to field a team of the most likable characters on Earth, but how could anyone not from Italy root for the Italians?   They manage the almost impossible; they're both pussies AND dicks.

Oh, and meanwhile, the only thing overshadowing the discord in the English camp, is the discord in the French camp.  If you're ever only slightly less discordant than the French over anything, you're pretty much fucked.

[MusicMan]

Nice gem from the CHI-SUI announcer:

"It's a rare Swiss attack!"

[Andyzipp]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xLn-X8YJRg&feature=youtube_gdata

[Limey]

If anyone's interested, Switzerland just broke Italy's record for time between conceding goals in the World Cup FInals.  The kept clean sheets in 4 games in 2006, plus whoever much in a tournament prior to that, plus 1 full game here, plus 68 minutes.  They broke it, then conceded a goal three minutes later.  I wonder if they knew.

[Alkie]

Because I'm finally starting to figure out soccer and "what's important" I imagine the post game will go something like

Well, we didn't win, but we did get the longest scoreless streak for goals against and that's what we're really out here for.   If we had gotten a win, that would have been fine, but it really meant nothing without the goalless streak.

[Noe]

Because I'm finally starting to figure out soccer and "what's important" I imagine the post game will go something like

Well, we didn't win, but we did get the longest scoreless streak for goals against and that's what we're really out here for.   If we had gotten a win, that would have been fine, but it really meant nothing without the goalless streak.

Only if the post game is being handled by Alan Ashby.

[Limey]

Because I'm finally starting to figure out soccer and "what's important" I imagine the post game will go something like

Well, we didn't win, but we did get the longest scoreless streak for goals against and that's what we're really out here for.   If we had gotten a win, that would have been fine, but it really meant nothing without the goalless streak.

If you ever actually watch Switzerland play in the finals, the scoreless streak appeared to be exactly their target.

[Alkie]

If you ever actually watch Switzerland play in the finals, the scoreless streak appeared to be exactly their target.

Hey man, everyone's gotta aim for something.

[Alkie]

Only if the post game is being handled by Alan Ashby.

It's funny because I can hear him saying it.

[MusicMan]

Jeff Bradley writes about watching his nephew score the equalizer

[Alkie]

So, even you third world communists here are tired of talking about this tournament, huh?

[Bench]

Just waiting for the third round of games.  Should be a good one.

[Alkie]

So what does happen in the next round when the game is tied at 90 min?

Is there an extra period?   Is it sudden death?   PKs?   Rock-paper-reacharounds?

[Noe]

So what does happen in the next round when the game is tied at 90 min?

Is there an extra period?   Is it sudden death?   PKs?   Rock-paper-reacharounds?

Two extras and the winner is the one who scores the most goals at the end (you can win by more than just one goal).  Not sudden death, it is who is on top after two extra time periods.  If no one is on top after two extras, then they go to penalty kicks, the worse way to win a match (*IMHO*), but that is what you come down to if you cannot settle things on the pitch.

[Bench]

So what does happen in the next round when the game is tied at 90 min?

Is there an extra period?   Is it sudden death?   PKs?   Rock-paper-reacharounds?

Two 15 minute periods of extra time (not sudden death).  If still tied after that then it's on to penalty kicks.

[Bench]

So what does happen in the next round when the game is tied at 90 min?

[low hanging fruit]
An indefinate amount of stoppage time will follow the 90th minute.
[/picked]

[Alkie]

Two extras and the winner is the one who scores the most goals at the end (you can win by more than just one goal).  Not sudden death, it is who is on top after two extra time periods.  If no one is on top after two extras, then they go to penalty kicks, the worse way to win a match (*IMHO*), but that is what you come down to if you cannot settle things on the pitch.

Cool, now I'm getting excited.

How long are the extra periods?

[Alkie]

Two 15 minute periods of extra time (not sudden death).  If still tied after that then it's on to penalty kicks.

Sorry, I saw this after posting my response to Noe.

[Limey]

Two extras and the winner is the one who scores the most goals at the end (you can win by more than just one goal).  Not sudden death, it is who is on top after two extra time periods.  If no one is on top after two extras, then they go to penalty kicks, the worse way to win a match (*IMHO*), but that is what you come down to if you cannot settle things on the pitch.

No extra time in the third round of group play.  Game ends at 90+ mins, even if (gasp) it's a draw.  Groups are then sorted by points plus assorted tie-breakers, the last of which is the equivalent of rock-paper-scissors.

Extra time - two 15-minute periods, no sudden death - and then, if still tied, a penalty shoot-out.  This applies to all further rounds of play up to and including the final.

[Noe]

No extra time in the third round of group play.  Game ends at 90+ mins, even if (gasp) it's a draw.  Groups are then sorted by points plus assorted tie-breakers, the last of which is the equivalent of rock-paper-scissors.

Yes.  I thought Alkie was talking about the next round as in the knock out rounds and not this group play round (one match remaining).

Extra time - two 15-minute periods, no sudden death - and then, if still tied, a penalty shoot-out.  This applies to all further rounds of play up to and including the final.

Yup, and if the other teams scores a goal on you, you still have whatever time is remaining in the extras to catch up or pass them up and win or tie to go to penalties.  Just about everyone I know hates penalty shots to see who wins.  It's better to win on the pitch and most great matches do.  By the time you reach the second extra time start, the legs are just not there any more.  Wild things can and will happen.

[Alkie]

Yes.  I thought Alkie was talking about the next round as in the knock out rounds and not this group play round (one match remaining).

I was.

[Alkie]

I didn't realize until just now that Rossini had written half the national anthems in South America. 

[Limey]

Big day brewing on Thursday:  Slovakia meets Italy in Johannesburg, Paraguay meets New Zealand in Polokwane, Camaroon meets Holland in Cape Town, Denmark meets Japan in Rustenburg and England meets France in the airport.

[Tralfaz]

England meets France in the airport.

Too funny, and obviously the French surrender to them.

[AtascAstro]

Too funny, and obviously the French surrender to them.

A few will, the remainder have flown to Johannesburg to sit on the German bench.