Boooooooone, 9/1/09

[OregonStrosFan]

Not in the starting lineup, but Coop said he'll "look at it and try to figure out a way to get him in there."

The game is being televised on WGN in case you're FSH/MLB.tv deprived...

Good Guys

Bourn cf,
Tejada ss,
Berkman 1b,
Lee lf,
Blum 3b,
Pence rf,
Matsui 2b,
Coste c,
Moehler p

FTC

Theriot ss,
Bradley rf,
Lee 1b,
Ramirez 3b,
Fukudome cf,
Fox lf,
Baker 2b,
Hill c,
Wells p

[Lurch]

Crazy idea here... HOW ABOUT PUTTING HIM IN THE LINEUP, DIPSHIT?!?

[Alkie]

Bob Boone will save us.

[Mr. Happy]

But only Aaron Boone might play for us tonight.

[Mr. Happy]

SBB bunts his way on!

[Mr. Happy]

And SBB steals 2B on first pitch. That's a big ole fuck you to the Cubs.

[Mr. Happy]

Tejada out 4-3 SBB to 3B

[Ty in Tampa]

SBB

Is this really going into the widespread lexicon? I sure as fuck hope not.

[Alkie]

An Open Letter to BudGirl

Budgirl (if that is your real name),

I have a favor to ask of you.  Ok, it's not so much a favor as I'm willing to compensate you to do (or in this case, stop doing) something.

I understand that you have a vagina, and in having this vagina, you feel a right to address the professional ballplayers for the Houston Astros as being gender/sex specific; as referenced in your desire to Brad Ausmus' slave and whatnot.

That's all fine and good.  Fantasy is fine and that's what the interwebs are for.

That being said, I will build many Church's Chicken Shack Flavoured Products in your honor if you stop calling Michael Bourn "Sweet Baby Bourn."

I'm not sure what you mean by it, whether it be sexual, some sort of Oedipal thing, or something else entirely.   But I've taken a poll, and it, to a man, makes the rest of us gag mightily each time you say it.   

We are witnessing a professional American sporting event.  This involves large roided up men doing manly things like hitting and throwing and diving and getting dirty and patting each other in the ass in a way that is not at all sexual.  Except for the giant orgies that happen in the shower at the end of every professional sporting event.   But I digress.

Name your price.  I will pay it.  Not because I give a fuck about this year's Astros team or because I'm trying to dictate what you call "fun" on the interwebs (truth is, I have no issue with you as a poster at all and am quite glad you're here).   But the Sweet Baby Bourn thing touches me in my no place.

Thank you.

And Mr. Happy -- stop making it worse.

Sincerely,
Me.

[Alkie]

Is this really going into the widespread lexicon? I sure as fuck hope not.

I've just (hopefully) taken care of that.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

As one of the other perpetuators (sp?) of this nickname, I took a liking to it because it sounded like an old-school nickname, like a football player or boxer from the 60's or 70's.  There's something of that same sort of Howard Cosell-narrated "holy shit did he just do that?" in Bourn's game, and that's why I think it fits.


And he looks good in those tight pants.

[Mr. Happy]

I've just (hopefully) taken care of that.

I'm cured. Lance K's leaving Bourn at 3B for Lee, who flies out.

[Alkie]

And he looks good in those tight pants.

An Open Letter to GreatBagwellsBeard

GreatBagwellsBeard (if that is your real name),

I have a favor to ask of you.  Ok, it's not so much a favor as I'm willing to compensate you to do (or in this case, stop doing) something.

I understand that you have a penis, and in having this penis, you feel a right to address the professional ballplayers for the Houston Astros as being gender/sex specific; as referenced in your desire to Brad Ausmus' slave and whatnot.

That's all fine and good.  Fantasy is fine and that's what the interwebs are for.

That being said, I will build many Church's Chicken Shack Flavoured Products in your honor if you stop calling Michael Bourn "Sweet Baby Bourn."

I'm not sure what you mean by it, whether it be sexual, some sort of Oedipal thing, or something else entirely.   But I've taken a poll, and it, to a man, makes the rest of us gag mightily each time you say it.   

We are witnessing a professional American sporting event.  This involves large roided up men doing manly things like hitting and throwing and diving and getting dirty and patting each other in the ass in a way that is not at all sexual.  Except for the giant orgies that happen in the shower at the end of every professional sporting event.   But I digress.

Name your price.  I will pay it.  Not because I give a fuck about this year's Astros team or because I'm trying to dictate what you call "fun" on the interwebs (truth is, I have no issue with you as a poster at all and am quite glad you're here).   But the Sweet Baby Bourn thing touches me in my no place.

Thank you.

And Mr. Happy -- stop making it worse.

Sincerely,
Me.

[Alkie]

I'm cured. Lance K's leaving Bourn at 3B for Lee, who flies out.

Our many great thanks.  Let us celebrate with beer and fried jerky products and the making of our own pussy.  With gravy.

[Alkie]

BRIAN MOEHLER IS THROWING A PERFECT GAME!

[OregonStrosFan]

Let us celebrate with beer and fried jerky products and the making of our own pussy.  With gravy.

Not me, I've got a bottle of Strawberry Hill on ice (waiting for Boone's first AB of course) and Tanya Harding on speed dial.  I'm set.

[Alkie]

Not me, I've got a bottle of Strawberry Hill on ice (waiting for Boone's first AB of course) and Tanya Harding on speed dial.  I'm set.

That is just about the trashiest night I can think of.

I'll be there in 10.

[OregonStrosFan]

That is just about the trashiest night I can think of.

I'll be there in 10.

I could have gone one better, but Lewinsky hasn't been back in Portland since she made it big...

[Mr. Happy]

Fucking Pence and this rolling over shit. It'd gotta stop.

[Philip]

Anybody else think when they play that umpire school promo after EVERY half inning on mlb.tv that when the guy yells, "HEY UMP!", that in that pregnant pause there is supposed to follow a "YOU SUCK COCK!"

[Alkie]

I could have gone one better, but Lewinsky hasn't been back in Portland since she made it big...

Actually, I'd get blasted and spend a night with Harding just because I have a feeling she knows how to drain a cock like a true champ.  I'd need some serious medication afterwards (some would argue beforewards as well).   But Lewinsky was never and will never be attractive or sexy in any way.

I liked Clinton and I gotta say...dude.  Really?

[Alkie]

Fucking Pence and this rolling over shit. It'd gotta stop.

Wishful thinking, man.   Wishful thinking.

[BudGirl]

An Open Letter to BudGirl

Budgirl (if that is your real name),

I have a favor to ask of you.  Ok, it's not so much a favor as I'm willing to compensate you to do (or in this case, stop doing) something.

I understand that you have a vagina, and in having this vagina, you feel a right to address the professional ballplayers for the Houston Astros as being gender/sex specific; as referenced in your desire to Brad Ausmus' slave and whatnot.

That's all fine and good.  Fantasy is fine and that's what the interwebs are for.

That being said, I will build many Church's Chicken Shack Flavoured Products in your honor if you stop calling Michael Bourn "Sweet Baby Bourn."

I'm not sure what you mean by it, whether it be sexual, some sort of Oedipal thing, or something else entirely.   But I've taken a poll, and it, to a man, makes the rest of us gag mightily each time you say it.   

We are witnessing a professional American sporting event.  This involves large roided up men doing manly things like hitting and throwing and diving and getting dirty and patting each other in the ass in a way that is not at all sexual.  Except for the giant orgies that happen in the shower at the end of every professional sporting event.   But I digress.

Name your price.  I will pay it.  Not because I give a fuck about this year's Astros team or because I'm trying to dictate what you call "fun" on the interwebs (truth is, I have no issue with you as a poster at all and am quite glad you're here).   But the Sweet Baby Bourn thing touches me in my no place.

Thank you.

And Mr. Happy -- stop making it worse.

Sincerely,
Me.

You all may call him what you want.  He's my favorite player right now and I think he is the fucking bomb and will call him what I want until he asks me to stop.  There is nothing sexual about the name.

Hope that clears up any confusion you may have.

[Mr. Happy]

 But Lewinsky was never and will never be attractive or sexy in any way.

I liked Clinton and I gotta say...dude.  Really?

It seemed that the more famous he got, the worse the women looked. It's supposed to be the other way around.

[Alkie]

You all may call him what you want.  He's my favorite player right now and I think he is the fucking bomb and will call him what I want until he asks me to stop.  There is nothing sexual about the name.

Hope that clears up any confusion you may have.

Cool, then I'll change my tone.

Stop.

It's making the rest of us nauseated.

[Mr. Happy]

Moehler still perfect after two.

[Alkie]

Moehler still perfect after two.

BRIAN MOEHLER IS PERFECT AFTER TWO.

Man. 

Who'd have thought?

[Philip]

Any word on whether Boone is on coumadin as a blood thinner after his heart surgery? A HBP or torn hammy could lead to a bitch of a hematoma if that is the case.

[BudGirl]

Cool, then I'll change my tone.

Stop.

It's making the rest of us nauseated.

You do realize your tone and anyone else's does not matter to me, right?

At least I don't lust after Hunter.

[Alkie]

At least I don't lust after Hunter.

I will totally give you that.

[BudGirl]

Any word on whether Boone is on coumadin as a blood thinner after his heart surgery? A HBP or torn hammy could lead to a bitch of a hematoma if that is the case.

Just because someone has heart surgery does not mean they end up on a blood thinner.  My dad has two bypass surgery and was never on a blood thinner.  He did take aspirin for a while though.

[Mr. Happy]

Let's see if the FTC do the right thing and give Boone a standing O if he gets into tonight's game. I'm thinking that they won't, being the shits that they are.

[BudGirl]

Let's see if the FTC do the right thing and give Boone a standing O if he gets into tonight's game. I'm thinking that they won't, being the shits that they are.

they probably don't even know he had surgery.

SBB is awesome.

[BudGirl]

I'm wondering why Matsui isn't batting second?  I know his ba sucks, but i don't think he'd hit into as many dps and tejada does.

[Philip]

Just because someone has heart surgery does not mean they end up on a blood thinner.  My dad has two bypass surgery and was never on a blood thinner.  He did take aspirin for a while though.

It was my understanding he had heart valve surgery...that usually requires coumadin post-op.

[BudGirl]

It was my understanding he had heart valve surgery...that usually requires coumadin post-op.

for how long though?

[Mr. Happy]

I'm wondering why Matsui isn't batting second?  I know his ba sucks, but i don't think he'd hit into as many dps and tejada does.

Too logical.

[BudGirl]

perfect game and no-hitter over.  hope some people are happy

[Alkie]

Moehler still perfect after two.

Oh goooooooooooood job, Mr. Happy.

Goooooood job.

[Mr. Happy]

Oh goooooooooooood job, Mr. Happy.

Goooooood job.

You started it.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

I could have gone one better, but Lewinsky hasn't been back in Portland since she made it big...

That depends on what your definition of "it" is.

[Mr. Happy]

That depends on what your definition of "it" is.

So fucking nominated.

[BudGirl]

That depends on what your definition of "it" is.

because of your post, i read his differently and chuckled.  thanks.

[Alkie]

You started it.

Oh.

[Mr. Happy]

And in People news this evening, LeAnn Rimes announces her divorce on her web site.

[rifraft]

It was my understanding he had heart valve surgery...that usually requires coumadin post-op.

only with a mechanical valve do you need life long anti-coagulation, with a porcine valve you don't need anti-coagulation at all.
after bypass you don't need anti-coagulation either.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

And in People news this evening, LeAnn Rimes announces her divorce on her web site.

Hang on, let me build a time machine and go tell 17 year old me the news.  He'll be thrilled.

[Philip]

for how long though?

Boone was born with a bicuspid aortic valve. If he had an artificial valve replacement, he would need to be on coumadin for life. If he had a porcine valve (from a donor pig), then I think it is only for 12 weeks post op.

[Alkie]

only with a mechanical valve do you need life long anti-coagulation, with a porcine valve you don't need anti-coagulation at all.
after bypass you don't need anti-coagulation either.

No one asked you.  We're trying to have a completely technical discussion about medicine between people with no knowledge of health professions whatsoever.

[rifraft]

No one asked you.  We're trying to have a completely technical discussion about medicine between people with no knowledge of health professions whatsoever.

my bad.....   

I'll leave you to it Alkie.

[BudGirl]

No one asked you.  We're trying to have a completely technical discussion about medicine between people with no knowledge of health professions whatsoever.

Uh, I'm not.  I just don't think it is a good idea to assume people are on a particular type of medicine without them saying.

When my dad had his stroke, everyone in the hosptial seemed to think he was on a blood thinner because of his bypass surgeries.  He wasn't.  So, I never make the assumption that someone is on a particular medication.

[Alkie]

my bad.....   

I'll leave you to it Alkie.

Right!  So then!   I think he'll have to be on these drugs until he grows a third nipple and sees the purple dragon.

[rifraft]

he grows a third nipple and sees the purple dragon.

wait, that's not normal....   oh shit!

[Mr. Happy]

Dipshit Matsui strikes out. He sucks.

[Alkie]

wait, that's not normal....   oh shit!

Dammit, man, I told you to shut the fuck up.

[BudGirl]

Dipshit Matsui strikes out. He sucks.

guess that is why he isn't batting second.

[Taras Bulba]

Bill Brown says Alkie has a sweet, sweet ass.

[Mr. Happy]

guess that is why he isn't batting second.

I wish he was hitting tenth playing left out.

[BudGirl]

I wish he was hitting tenth playing left out.

he's a veteran so he has to play.

[rifraft]

Dammit, man, I told you to shut the fuck up.

only when the stros get 2 men on, and 1 of them scores.  lets see, 4 innings played, 6 LOBsters, on a nice pace for  the night.

[Mr. Happy]

he's a veteran so he has to play.

Fucking Cooper.

[Bench]

Fucking Bradley.

[BudGirl]

only when the stros get 2 men on, and 1 of them scores.  lets see, 4 innings played, 6 LOBsters, on a nice pace for  the night.

maybe you all need to shut up about scoring.

[rifraft]

maybe you all need to shut up about scoring.

when you aren't scoring at home, you have to discuss it on the interwebs.

[BudGirl]

when you aren't scoring at home, you have to discuss it on the interwebs.

no, no you don't

[Mr. Happy]

when you aren't scoring at home, you have to discuss it on the interwebs.

Is that a medical term? Didn't you hear Alkie???

[Alkie]

Bill Brown says Alkie has a sweet, sweet ass.

Seen it, has he?  He must be the fat chick who lives across the way from us.

Has he mentioned how I manage to look pregnant as I step into the shower despite not having the junk to do so?

[OregonStrosFan]

when you aren't scoring at home, you have to discuss it on the interwebs.

Tanya Harding: 1-900-kneecap.  Hope this helps end your dry spell...

[Alkie]

So, you know what eats a fat cock?

Going in to get more booze and returning to find out you're losing.

To the Cubs.

[OregonStrosFan]

Seen it, has he?  He must be the fat chick who lives across the way from us.

Chuck has moved to NYC now?

[Alkie]

Chuck has moved to NYC now?

Well, he lived here for 10 years.

"Back" you mean?

[BudGirl]

3 for 3, he's perfect so far tonight.

[Alkie]

So I wasn't going to say anything, but what the fuck.

I'm getting drunk tonight.

You heard me.

Got some wildly disappointing news at work today and I'm dealing with it by crawling into a bottle.

So fuck you.

[OregonStrosFan]

"Back" you mean?

Yep, my bad.  Left my "Chuck's states of residence by decade" flow chart at some bar during spring training and haven't been worth shit on the topic since...

[BudGirl]

So I wasn't going to say anything, but what the fuck.

I'm getting drunk tonight.

You heard me.

Got some wildly disappointing news at work today and I'm dealing with it by crawling into a bottle.

So fuck you.

want to trade stories?

mine has nothing to do with work, but a crazy chick is involved.

[Lurch]

want to trade stories?

mine has nothing to do with work, but a crazy chick is involved.

Is she hot?

[OregonStrosFan]

want to trade stories?

mine has nothing to do with work, but a crazy chick is involved.

That one from the beach?

[rifraft]

want to trade stories?

mine has nothing to do with work, but a crazy chick is involved.

wanna hear.

[BudGirl]

Is she hot?

i don't think so.  some guys must think so.  she messed around on her husband enough.

i wouldn't recommend touching her at all.

[Mr. Happy]

want to trade stories?

mine has nothing to do with work, but a crazy chick is involved.

Let's hear a crazy chick story.

[BudGirl]

That one from the beach?

not her.  i should send that picture to lurch, he might like it

[BatGirl]

hey, bench!
i heard that sba was up in the gz
talking shit about you last night

[Alkie]

want to trade stories?

mine has nothing to do with work, but a crazy chick is involved.

Let's do it, but my story will actually put you to sleep.

[Alkie]

hey, bench!
i heard that sba was up in the gz
talking shit about you last night

The Small Business Admin cares about Bench?

[Mr. Happy]

Let's NOT hear the boring story Alkie.

[Alkie]

Let's NOT hear the boring story Alkie.

No problemo dude.  Trust me.  I don't think anyone, even BatLady, will find it remotely interesting.

[Mr. Happy]

No problemo dude.  Trust me.  I don't think anyone, even BatLady, will find it remotely interesting.

Can't speak for BatGirl; she might like it.

[OregonStrosFan]

not her.  i should send that picture to lurch, he might like it

You really should just post a link. Then you could threaten to post more links unless people stop giving you crap about your Bourn moniker. Guaranteed 100% successful.

[Mr. Happy]

Fucking Miggy.

[rifraft]

I heard an interesting stat the other day, Miggy has more errors and gidp than walks this year.  not combined, but each.

[Mr. Happy]

I heard an interesting stat the other day, Miggy has more errors and gidp than walks this year.  not combined, but each.

That's probably true.

[Bench]

I heard an interesting stat the other day, Miggy has more errors and gidp than walks this year.  not combined, but each.

Wow.  Maybe Neyer will dig up how often that's been done in one of his useless stats columns.  The surprising thing is that it doesn't surprise me much.

[Bench]

hey, bench!
i heard that sba was up in the gz
talking shit about you last night

As long as sbb is cool with me, I feel alright.

[Mr. Happy]

And in other big league action, Luke Scott just hit his 21st homer, driving in his 64th run.

[Mr. Happy]

Anyone else wishing ill for the Batting Stance Guy?

[Bench]

I heard an interesting stat the other day, Miggy has more errors and gidp than walks this year.  not combined, but each.

I had to look it up.

15 BB, 23 GIDP, and 17 E.  Not counting tonight.

[BudGirl]

Anyone else wishing ill for the Batting Stance Guy?

no, i save those wishes for soriano

[Bench]

Anyone else wishing ill for the Batting Stance Guy?

For some reason I vaguely enjoy his segments.  I can't figure out why exactly, but he reminds me of a friend of mine from college.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

I had to look it up.

15 BB, 23 GIDP, and 17 E.  Not counting tonight.

I just threw up in my mouth. A lot.

[Mr. Happy]

no, i save those wishes for soriano

What about when TBSG does Soriano?

[OregonStrosFan]

Wow.  Maybe Neyer will dig up how often that's been done in one of his useless stats columns.  The surprising thing is that it doesn't surprise me much.

Pudge did it in '91 and almost again in '07.  Then again in '91 he had only 5 walks and 88 games and in '07 had only 9 walks (and 6 errors).

[BudGirl]

What about when TBSG does Soriano?

if soriano goes away the tbsg won't do it anymore.  i still don't have to wish him ill

[BudGirl]

i wonder what would happen if the astros scored some runs in the gme.

[OregonStrosFan]

Shhhhh, don't tell Cooper.

Per JdJO: "With Doug Brocail and Wesley Wright back, the Astros now have 14 pitches, nine working out of the bullpen. "

Could be some LONG games in September...

Oh yeah, way to go Spaz. Again...

[BudGirl]

how did he dropped it?

[rifraft]

how did he dropped it?

he dropped it, and it was scored a double?

correction in the box score, error on PENCE!

[BudGirl]

he dropped it, and it was scored a double?

i thought he had it in the glove, seems like it should have been an error, but i'm not the scorer.

[BudGirl]

i want a strike out then double play.

brian can do this.

[OregonStrosFan]

he dropped it, and it was scored a double?

Changed to an E.

BTW, McTaggart via Twitter (just before Miggy's E):

The Astros have committed 67 errors this year, which is tied for 4th fewest in NL. Also is how many they had in all of '08.

[Alkie]

but i'm not the scorer.

So.  To.   Speak.

[BudGirl]

thank you, now can i have the double play?  pretty please bbgs?

[austro]

It all just came together for me, courtesy of MusicMan's song. When I was a little kid, there was some book we used to read about some boy who always got into various kinds of trouble. It was illustrated with stick figures, and one of the episodes involved the boy burning his hands on the stove or something. So he's running around with a goofy look on his face and both hands all bandaged up so they look like mittens. And that, folks, is the mighty Hunter Pence.

[BudGirl]

So.  To.   Speak.

hahaha

[Bench]

So I wasn't going to say anything, but what the fuck.

I'm getting drunk tonight.

You heard me.

Got some wildly disappointing news at work today and I'm dealing with it by crawling into a bottle.

So fuck you.

Don't want to hear the story, the Astros are depressing enough tonight.

But what bottle(s) have you crawled in to?

[rifraft]

Don't want to hear the story, the Astros are depressing enough tonight.

But what bottle(s) have you crawled in to?

and more importantly, drunk yet?

[austro]

Does Gervacio always fall off the mound that badly? No wonder he's so inconsistent.

[Alkie]

Don't want to hear the story, the Astros are depressing enough tonight.

But what bottle(s) have you crawled in to?

I don't want to tell it.

First I had a Maredsous 10 then a Troubadour Blond then a Fin Du Monde and now a Paso a Paso wine.

[OregonStrosFan]

Roy's got a new website (per McT).  http://royoswalt44.net/

You can make reservations to go hunting on his ranch.

He also has a breeders pen for those having trouble scoring at home...

[Alkie]

and more importantly, drunk yet?

Oh yes.

[BudGirl]

two strike outs by gervacio.

you know what that means?  yep, he's next for the dl.

[BudGirl]

He also has a breeders pen for those having trouble scoring at home...

rifraft is the one that needs that link.

[Ty in Tampa]

This game is a steaming poo pile.

[rifraft]

rifraft is the one that needs that link.

10 yrs of marriage, scoring is the last thing on my wife's mind.

[BudGirl]

10 yrs of marriage, scoring is the last thing on my wife's mind.

congrats on the 10 years!! 

[Bench]

I don't want to tell it.

First I had a Maredsous 10 then a Troubadour Blond then a Fin Du Monde and now a Paso a Paso wine.

For a fellow living on an island, you're awfully continental.

[BudGirl]

OMG OMG the Astros scored a run.

[Bench]

Wowie! A run!

[OregonStrosFan]

OMG OMG the Astros scored a run.

How close was the play on Coste at 1B? WGN didn't replay it (of course).

[Alkie]

For a fellow living on an island, you're awfully continental.

Not a real island.

Or IS it.

[BudGirl]

I didn't think it was that close.

[rifraft]

congrats on the 10 years!!  

thank you.  

It is a real island, b/c if it isn't, I have no explanation for why I never leave it.

[Bench]

I didn't think it was that close.

He is a very, very slow man.

[Bench]

thank you.  

It is a real island, b/c if it isn't, I have no explanation for why I never leave it.

And a rock feels no pain;

And an island never cries.

[austro]

He is a very, very slow man catcher.

FIFY.

[BudGirl]

double switch coming.  pretty sure soriano coming out of the game.  no more hops in the outfield.

[Alkie]

And a rock feels no pain;

And an island never cries.

I hate you now.

Cook me something and make me love you again.

[BudGirl]

  bourn didn't get a hit this time.

[Mr. Happy]

  bourn didn't get a hit this time.

Oh well. It was a lefty.

[BudGirl]

Oh well. It was a lefty.

well, with that kind of response then cooper is always right with his pitching changes, right?

[OregonStrosFan]

  bourn didn't get a hit this time.

What a bummer

[Mr. Happy]

well, with that kind of response then cooper is always right with his pitching changes, right?

I believe in that strategy, with some exceptions.

[OregonStrosFan]

well, with that kind of response then cooper is always right with his pitching changes, right?

Well he has 3 or 6 more outs to get, and 8 more relievers to burn...

[MusicMan]

It all just came together for me, courtesy of MusicMan's song.

Somebody went to the front page.  My day is now complete.

[MusicMan]

Well he has 3 or 6 more outs to get, and 8 more relievers to burn...

I fear Cooper actually setting fire to the pitchers.

[BudGirl]

bazardo warming in the pen, who is scheduled to pitch tomorrrow?

[austro]

Now that the roster is expanded, it makes PERFECT sense that Bazardo would be your 8th inning setup guy. Really?

[rifraft]

I fear Cooper actually setting fire to the pitchers.

should we tell the fans behind the bullpen, in right field, to bring fire extinguishers to the game?

[austro]

bazardo warming in the pen, who is scheduled to pitch tomorrrow?

Probably Bazardo.

[BudGirl]

Now that the roster is expanded, it makes PERFECT sense that Bazardo would be your 8th inning setup guy. Really?

you expected to see brocail?

[Mr. Happy]

bazardo warming in the pen, who is scheduled to pitch tomorrrow?

Paulino

[austro]

"Lance Berkman and the Lost Season"

I hope there's not a sequel next year.

[austro]

you expected to see brocail?

Hawk. Wright. Byrdak. Somebody who has seen the 8th inning already this year.

[OregonStrosFan]

Probably Bazardo.

Paulino is scheduled for tomorrow, so I fully expect to see him up in the pen next to Bazardo...

[Mr. Happy]

"Lance Berkman and the Lost Season"

I hope there's not a sequel next year.

He's looked pretty ordinary this season.

[rifraft]

He's looked pretty ordinary this season.

if you had told me roy and lance would look pedestrian this season, i'd have told you this season was going to suck huge ass donky balls.

[Alkie]

if you had told me roy and lance would look pedestrian this season, i'd have told you this season was going to suck huge ass donky balls.

this season was going to suck huge ass donky balls.

[chuck]

Chuck has moved to NYC now?

How (and when) did I turn into a fat chick?

Houston - DC - NYC - Miami Beach - Panama/Houston. Laminate it.

[BudGirl]

How (and when) did I turn into a fat chick?

Houston - DC - NYC - Miami Beach - Panama/Houston. Laminate it.

and what do you do again?

[Alkie]

How (and when) did I turn into a fat chick?

After the second pregnancy.

[MusicMan]

"Lance Berkman and the Lost Season"

I hope there's not a sequel next year.

Perhaps he shouldn't have spent his first two months hitting like Tim Bogar.

[MusicMan]

How (and when) did I turn into a fat chick?

Right before you blew President Clinton?

[austro]

Perhaps he shouldn't have spent his first two months hitting like Tim Bogar.

Followed by two hitting like Craig Reynolds. Did he really go all of August without a homer?

[OregonStrosFan]

How (and when) did I turn into a fat chick?

I just presume you'd put on weight...

[Bench]

and what do you do again?

Sells heroin to kids, of course.

Wait, wasn't that someone else?

[chuck]

Right before you blew President Clinton?

Some of us are still blowing him. Those of us who happen to enjoy peace and economic prosperity.

[Mr. Happy]

Some of us are still blowing him. Those of us who happen to enjoy peace and economic prosperity.

Courtesy of GHWB (duck)

[BudGirl]

i loved bill.

[BudGirl]

Courtesy of GHWB (duck)

If you are going to say that then stand proud, don't duck.

[BatGirl]

i loved bill.

the og sbb?

[MusicMan]

Some of us are still blowing him. Those of us who happen to enjoy peace and economic prosperity.

Go back to the LEwinsky comment earlier.

[chuck]

Courtesy of GHWB (duck)

Hard to assign peace to a President to manufactured a war.

[MusicMan]

Courtesy of GHWB (duck) uncontrolled speculation and the greatest technology boom of all time

[MusicMan]

Hard to assign peace to a President to manufactured a war.

There was nothing manufactured about the Persian Gulf War.

[Mr. Happy]

If you are going to say that then stand proud, don't duck.

I wasn't a fan of GHWB.

[BudGirl]

I wasn't a fan of GHWB.

you start shit like that, i just want to make sure you get hit with some of it.

go astros.

[BudGirl]

well, at least ramirez was out at the plate.

why didn't he slide?

[Mr. Happy]

you start shit like that, i just want to make sure you get hit with some of it.

go astros.

Actually Chuck started it. I just aided and abetted.

[chuck]

There was nothing manufactured about the Persian Gulf War.

Of course there was. April Glaspie, the US Ambassador to Iraq, gave tacit approval to Saddam's invasion of Kuwait. The Bush White House successfully baited Saddam into invading Kuwait.

[OregonStrosFan]

Actually Chuck started it. I just aided and abetted.

Y'all stop picking on Chuck.  There's no place for that in the GZ!

[BudGirl]

Actually Chuck started it. I just aided and abetted.

I think OSF started it a long time ago with the Lewinsky comment.

[Mr. Happy]

Y'all stop picking on Chuck.  There's no place for that in the GZ!

Chuck is so much fun to smack because he smacks back.

[OregonStrosFan]

I think OSF started it a long time ago with the Lewinsky comment.

Actually the genesis was Boones Farm Straberry Hill and Tanya Harding on speed-dial.  It just continued to go downhill after that...

[MusicMan]

Of course there was. April Glaspie, the US Ambassador to Iraq, gave tacit approval to Saddam's invasion of Kuwait. The Bush White House successfully baited Saddam into invading Kuwait.

Under orders of the Trilateral Commision?

[MusicMan]

Actually the genesis was Boones Farm Straberry Hill and Tanya Harding on speed-dial.  It just continued to go downhill after that...

Hard to believe you can go downhill from Boones and Tanya Harding.

[OregonStrosFan]

Chuck is so much fun to smack because he smacks back.

That's because he's angry.  Awfully polite though...

[BudGirl]

bourn makes a great catch to end the inning.  Yeah, michael.

[MusicMan]

bourn makes a great catch to end the inning.  Yeah, michael.

Please refrain from comments on the actual game in the GZ.

[BudGirl]

pence is so hot, he's going to win the game for me.

[BudGirl]

Please refrain from comments on the actual game in the GZ.

i can't help it.

[Mr. Happy]

Marmol is filthy.

[BudGirl]

so, let's assume fulchino's spot comes up, does boone get to pinch hit?

[BudGirl]

matsui was later on that pitch than i would have been.

[OregonStrosFan]

Marmol is filthy.

Glad to see your sticking with the whole Harding/Lewinsky mantra...

[Mr. Happy]

so, let's assume fulchino's spot comes up, does boone get to pinch hit?

I would bet agin that.

[chuck]

Chuck is so much fun to smack because he smacks back.

You just reminded me of something one of my cousins said to his mother when he was about four or five. He was a real handful, always in trouble. Once he was acting up and my aunt threatened 'I'll smack you!' This is back when corporal punishment wouldn't land the parent in jail. My cousin's immediate reply was, 'Smack me and I'll smack ya back!'

I hadn't thought of that in years.

[OregonStrosFan]

Keppinger coming in to pinch hit with 2 outs in the 9th?  That hard to get Boone in the game? Really Coop?

[Bench]

Under orders of the Trilateral Commision?

No no no.  It was the Pentaverate.

[BudGirl]

4-1 them

sucks

[austro]

Keppinger coming in to pinch hit with 2 outs in the 9th?  That hard to get Boone in the game? Really Coop?

Coop is saving Boone for the homestand. Seriously. And I think that might actually be a good idea.

[Rebel Jew]

Actually, I'd get blasted and spend a night with Harding just because I have a feeling she knows how to drain a cock like a true champ.  I'd need some serious medication afterwards (some would argue beforewards as well).   But Lewinsky was never and will never be attractive or sexy in any way.

I liked Clinton and I gotta say...dude.  Really?

this is a brilliant and insightful post.

[Reuben]

Coop is saving Boone for the homestand. Seriously. And I think that might actually be a good idea.

Would it be the worst thing in the world for him to get an ovation on the road, then another one at home? Boone should've played the first few innings today unless he's not ready physically. IMO.

[austro]

Would it be the worst thing in the world for him to get an ovation on the road, then another one at home? Boone should've played the first few innings today unless he's not ready physically. IMO.

That would be fine, IF you thought the brainless retards at Wrigley Field would even know what was going on.

[OregonStrosFan]

Would it be the worst thing in the world for him to get an ovation on the road, then another one at home? Boone should've played the first few innings today unless he's not ready physically. IMO.

Per Astros.com yesterday:

Astros manager Cecil Cooper said he hadn't mapped out a plan for Boone, but said he could start Wednesday against left-hander Ted Lilly. As for Tuesday's game, Cooper made no promises.

[Reuben]

Per Astros.com yesterday:

Astros manager Cecil Cooper said he hadn't mapped out a plan for Boone, but said he could start Wednesday against left-hander Ted Lilly. As for Tuesday's game, Cooper made no promises.

translation: the manager is a classless prick, who clearly didn't learn anything when the players gave him shit for forgetting to congratulate Pudge Rodriguez on his games caught record earlier this year.

[otterjb]

Of course there was. April Glaspie, the US Ambassador to Iraq, gave tacit approval to Saddam's invasion of Kuwait. The Bush White House successfully baited Saddam into invading Kuwait.

This needs to be quoted. Chuck.