giants at ASTROS 8.3.09

[BatGirl]

starting lineups:

SAN FRANCISCO
Velez lf
Sanchez 2b
Sandoval 3b
Molina c
Garko 1b
Rowand cf
Renteria ss
Winn rf
Cain p

HOUSTON
Bourn cf
Matsui 2b
Pence rf
Lee lf
Tejada ss
Blum 1b
Rodriguez c
Keppinger 3b
Hampton p

[hostros7]

The amount and percentage of cubs fans at this game at cinci is embarrassing.  Add the city to bud's list of places to fuck hurricane evacuee teams.

[Alkie]

The amount and percentage of cubs fans at this game at cinci is embarrassing. 

The amount and percentage of cubs fans in any city is embarrassing.

Can you think of any other team in any other sport that is so consistently losery that has such an amazing following?  Go on.  Try.   I don't mean like Notre Dame football (which sucks right now), I mean a team that hasn't won shit in 100 fucking years but that has an inexplicably global following.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

The amount and percentage of cubs fans in any city is embarrassing.

Can you think of any other team in any other sport that is so consistently losery that has such an amazing following?  Go on.  Try.   I don't mean like Notre Dame football (which sucks right now), I mean a team that hasn't won shit in 100 fucking years but that has an inexplicably global following.

The NFL Cardinals are as futile but no one gives a shit. I think the Cubs stand alone in their shiterlingness.

[Mr. Happy]

Why in the fuck is Pence hitting third again?

[Matt]

The amount and percentage of cubs fans in any city is embarrassing.

Can you think of any other team in any other sport that is so consistently losery that has such an amazing following?  Go on.  Try.   I don't mean like Notre Dame football (which sucks right now), I mean a team that hasn't won shit in 100 fucking years but that has an inexplicably global following.

There are a lot of losers in this world and they need someone to look up to.

[Mr. Happy]

Will this be Hampton's last start in an Astros uni?

[Matt]

Velez seems to have an itch

[BudGirl]

Why in the fuck is Pence hitting third again?

to build up his confidence?

[Ebby Calvin]

Apparently Pablo Sandoval's nickname is Kung Fu Panda.

[rifraft]

Pablo Sandoval, that's a fat boys name, and shit, he lives up to it.  Looks like kid can rake though.

[Mr. Happy]

to build up his confidence?

It doesn't do my confidence any good though.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Will this be Hampton's last start in an Astros uni?
[/quot]
Milo says all Hampy has to do is pretend he's facing the Pirates and he'll be fine.

[Matt]

With Wandy and Roy hurting I doubt they let Hampton go just yet. I'm sure they don't want 3 rookies in the rotation.

[Mr. Happy]

Will this be Hampton's last start in an Astros uni?

Milo says all Hampy has to do is pretend he's facing the Pirates and he'll be fine.

Milo is delusional. Here we go again in the first inning.

[MusicMan]

releasing hampton would be an act of mercy

[BudGirl]

releasing hampton would be an act of mercy

for us

[Rebel Jew]

With Wandy and Roy hurting I doubt they let Hampton go just yet. I'm sure they don't want 3 rookies in the rotation.

hampton is one of coop's guys.  didn't you see coop with his arm around him consoling him after he came out of the game after his last start?

[Alkie]

What?   Only ONE first inning run for Hampton?

I thought the Jints were pretty decent this year.

[BudGirl]

and sweet baby bourn gets stranded at 3rd.  imagine that.

[Alkie]

With Wandy and Roy hurting I doubt they let Hampton go just yet. I'm sure they don't want 3 rookies in the rotation.

I never understood this logic.

If I have a below average guy with a shitload of experience or a new kid with a shitload of talent, let's see what the kid can do.   We already know what the old man can't.

[Matt]

I never understood this logic.

If I have a below average guy with a shitload of experience or a new kid with a shitload of talent, let's see what the kid can do.   We already know what the old man can't.

I'm with you on that but that's not how the powers that be see things on this team.

[Mr. Happy]

I never understood this logic.

If I have a below average guy with a shitload of experience or a new kid with a shitload of talent, let's see what the kid can do.   We already know what the old man can't.

Cooper does manage this team.

[BudGirl]

Cooper does manage this team.

no, he does not.

[Mr. Happy]

no, he does not.

Point well taken. He fills out the lineup card.

[BudGirl]

Point well taken. He fills out the lineup card.

he's even screwed that up this season.

[Matt]

I never understood this logic.

If I have a below average guy with a shitload of experience or a new kid with a shitload of talent, let's see what the kid can do.   We already know what the old man can't.

Where's our newest mascot?

[Alkie]

Point well taken. He fills out the lineup card.

I have this mental image, myself, of how Coop fills out a lineup card.   It involves a water balloon, an ox, and a grapefruit.

It's funny in my head.   Then I see the lineup and it's not so funny anymore.

[Alkie]

Where's our newest mascot?

Don't know what you're talking about.

http://www.robsxxx.com/blog/uploads/big-juicy-oiled-tits.jpg

[Matt]

Just in time for Pence to throw out Cafeteria.

[Alkie]

I don't believe what I didn't just see.

What happened?

[Mr. Happy]

I don't believe what I didn't just see.

What happened?

Pence's throw was a little up the line but on the left side of the plate, so Pudge tagged Renteria out.

[ybbodeus]

I don't believe what I didn't just see.  What happened?

Someone will probably have to explain your retort to Joe Buck.

[Ebby Calvin]

Very graceful, Mike.  Nice job.

[Rebel Jew]

from the "can your grandfatha do THIS?" file:

hampton going all jai alai on a grounder to first

[Matt]

from the "can your grandfatha do THIS?" file:

hampton going all jai alai on a grounder to first

That looked like something I would try to do while intoxicated.

[austro]

from the "can your grandfatha do THIS?" file:

hampton going all jai alai on a grounder to first

That was the stupidest thing I've seen in a while. Hampy's getting desperate.

[Alkie]

Worst GZ Ever?

Anyone got anything else they'd like to talk about?

[BudGirl]

yes

[rifraft]

Worst GZ Ever?

Anyone got anything else they'd like to talk about?

just start swinging your dick around, i'm sure the ladies would love that!

[Ron Brand]

Gray's Papaya vs. Papaya King. Discuss.

[BudGirl]

just start swinging your dick around, i'm sure the ladies would love that!

there's only one of us here and i'm not so sure i'd love it.

[Rebel Jew]

Worst GZ Ever?

Anyone got anything else they'd like to talk about?

anybody into faith no more when chuck mosley was the lead singer, before mike patton (the "we care a lot" era-- by far the best in my opinion)?

well, my friend pre-ordered chuck mosley's new solo album, and then he got an e-mail saying that if he went to some website he'd get a personalized message from chuck himself thanking him for buying the album:

here it is (my friend's name is rob):
http://www.reversedimageunlimited.com/chuck_thankyous.php?view=12-Robert.mp4

[BudGirl]

that velez dude is pretty skinny

[Lurch]

anybody into faith no more when chuck mosley was the lead singer, before mike patton (the "we care a lot" era-- by far the best in my opinion)?

I dig all Faith No More.  Not a Mike Patton fan?    I really liked Album of the Year.


Other topic.
Want to just get bitter/angry tonight?  Read this.

[Ron Brand]

Want to just get bitter/angry tonight?  Read this.

Leaves no doubt as to why she can't get a job, does it?

[BudGirl]

I dig all Faith No More.  Not a Mike Patton fan?    I really liked Album of the Year.


Other topic.
Want to just get bitter/angry tonight?  Read this.

stupid.  doesn't give me much hope for the future.

[Alkie]

yes

Ok.  You go first.

[Rebel Jew]

Gray's Papaya vs. Papaya King. Discuss.

they both suck.  every once in a while on pbs you see that documentary where some guy goes around the country trying different hot dogs at some of the most famous places.  well, during the new york section of the film all the mongloid new yoikuhs brag about how gray's papaya and nathan's are the best in the country and chicago hot dogs suck dick and jetah's awesome and crap like that.  fuck that!  chicago hot dogs are 5000000000000 times better.

[Alkie]

Gray's Papaya vs. Papaya King. Discuss.

You know, I only really have tried Gray's because everyone said Papaya Dog and Papaya King are just shitty knock offs.

I'll try a Papaya Dog tomorrow and let you know.

[BudGirl]

Ok.  You go first.

Oh, now you acknowledge me?  BTW, I was offended by being left out.

[Alkie]

fuck that!  chicago hot dogs are 5000000000000 times better.

I totally agree with this.

I'd rather have a Chicago dog than a NY dog any day.

[Alkie]

Oh, now you acknowledge me?  BTW, I was offended by being left out.

The fuck?  Left out of what?

[BudGirl]

The fuck?  Left out of what?

what you said about the sns game a couple weeks ago.  i cried myself to sleep for days.

[Alkie]

what you said about the sns game a couple weeks ago.  i cried myself to sleep for days.

Help me out here.  I don't have a clue what you're referring to.

[moriartp]

When that ball got to the wall, I joked "and it's a long single for Carlos Lee!"

Little did I know I wasn't joking.

[austro]

Leaves no doubt as to why she can't get a job, does it?

Hey, who wouldn't immediately hire a 2.7 GPA out of Monroe College?

[BudGirl]

Help me out here.  I don't have a clue what you're referring to.

you said something to the effect that all the guys at the game would rub one off to janedoe and batgirl at the game.  totally dissed me.  i don't think i'll ever forgive you for the slight.

[Alkie]

When that ball got to the wall, I joked "and it's a long single for Carlos Lee!"

Little did I know I wasn't joking.

BAH!  If you want to talk Astros baseball, you'll need to go to Barzilla's blog forum chat.

[Rebel Jew]

I totally agree with this.

I'd rather have a Chicago dog than a NY dog any day.

controversial statement:
the jewish delis and bakeries in los angeles are better than the jewish delis and bakeries in new york

[Alkie]

you said something to the effect that all the guys at the game would rub one off to janedoe and batgirl at the game.  totally dissed me.  i don't think i'll ever forgive you for the slight.

I'm going to assume you're kidding, because otherwise....you get that it wasn't a GOOD thing, right?  I was saying it as a backhanded remark to BatGirl and Jane Doe.   I'll be sure to include you in all my minor insults from now on.  I had no idea you cared.

[Mr. Happy]

controversial statement:
the jewish delis and bakeries in los angeles are better than the jewish delis and bakeries in new york

You're out of your fucking mind.

[rifraft]

You're out of your fucking mind.

outside of 2nd ave deli, the ny versions suck.

[Alkie]

controversial statement:
the jewish delis and bakeries in los angeles are better than the jewish delis and bakeries in new york

I'll grant you that the Jewish delis in NYC aren't all that great as a whole any more because so many have closed.

But LA?   Really.   Come on, dude.

I'll put 2nd Ave's pastrami up against Cantor's any mother fucking day.

[BudGirl]

I'm going to assume you're kidding, because otherwise....you get that it wasn't a GOOD thing, right?  I was saying it as a backhanded remark to BatGirl and Jane Doe.   I'll be sure to include you in all my minor insults from now on.  I had no idea you cared.

Your assumption is correct.  And no need to include me in any insults, minor or major.

But, I do care about you. 

[Rebel Jew]

I'll grant you that the Jewish delis in NYC aren't all that great as a whole any more because so many have closed.

But LA?   Really.   Come on, dude.

I'll put 2nd Ave's pastrami up against Cantor's any mother fucking day.

nate & al's in beverly hills is better than any sandwich i've had in nyc, 2nd ave deli included

diamond bakery on fairfax has as good bagels as any i've had in nyc (though they're a different style), and much much much better pastries

[Alkie]

Your assumption is correct.  And no need to include me in any insults, minor or major.

I was gonna say.......

But, I do care about you. 

Group hug?

[rifraft]

I'll put 2nd Ave's pastrami up against Cantor's any mother fucking day.

My favorite sandwich in the world.  2nd ave is great.  my only issue is that a pastrami sandwich goes for $20.

[Alkie]

nate & al's in beverly hills is better than any sandwich i've had in nyc, 2nd ave deli included

diamond bakery on fairfax has as good bagels than any i've had in nyc (though they're a different style), and much much much better pastries

Ok, next time I'm out in LA (which as always, I swore would never happen again), I'll try Nate and Al's.   It's going to have a really hard time beating 2nd Ave.   

I will say most of the bagels here have been totally unimpressive.  The way NYers talk about them, you'd think they were just a totally different food up here.  They're not.  They taste exactly like the ones I ate in El Paso.

[Alkie]

My favorite sandwich in the world.  2nd ave is great.  my only issue is that a pastrami sandwich goes for $20.

How much are you tipping?

I got one 3 days ago.  It was $13.

ETA:  Wait.....you're not Jewish, are you.

[BudGirl]

I was gonna say.......

you should have known better.

Group hug?

with this motley group?  no way.

[rifraft]

How much are you tipping?

I got one 3 days ago.  It was $13.

ETA:  Wait.....you're not Jewish, are you.

worse, i'm muslim.....

[Alkie]

with this motley group?  no way.

What if I start swinging my dick around?

[Alkie]

worse, i'm muslim.....

Yep, $20.  Sorry, did I say $13?   I meant $20.   Keep paying $20.

[BudGirl]

What if I start swinging my dick around?

don't you do that in every post?

[Alkie]

don't you do that in every post?

Every.  Post.

[BudGirl]

#6 by Blum

lead cut by 1/2

[rifraft]

#6 by Blum

lead cut by 1/2

whoa, did the game just start?

[Alkie]

Yippee!

Giants 2
Astros 0.5

[Bench]

Ok, next time I'm out in LA (which as always, I swore would never happen again), I'll try Nate and Al's.   It's going to have a really hard time beating 2nd Ave.   

I will say most of the bagels here have been totally unimpressive.  The way NYers talk about them, you'd think they were just a totally different food up here.  They're not.  They taste exactly like the ones I ate in El Paso.

One of the sad realities is that all the best Jewish delis, bagel shops, and pizza/sub places are in New Jersey and Long Island.

[BudGirl]

yes

[BudGirl]

Yippee!

Giants 2
Astros 0.5

better than a zero

[Alkie]

One of the sad realities is that all the best Jewish delis, bagel shops, and pizza/sub places are in New Jersey and Long Island.

I've heard this.  From multiple people who know.   Also, Brooklyn. 

The problem with the great Jewfewd in Jersey and Lawn Guyland is.......I'll never get to try it.   Shame.

[rifraft]

I've heard this.  From multiple people who know.   Also, Brooklyn. 

The problem with the great Jewfewd in Jersey and Lawn Guyland is.......I'll never get to try it.   Shame.

I've lived in NY a little more than  2 years, been to Jersey once, and LI never. 

[Alkie]

I've lived in NY a little more than  2 years, been to Jersey once, and LI never. 

Sweet Jesus, man, what were you doing in Jersey?

I'm seriously trying to imagine something, anything (a sporting event?) that would make me get up off my lofty ivory perch and travel an hour to visit the burbs.   

I'm sure they're fantastic places to raise kids.   It's just that.......I hate my kids.

[Rebel Jew]

Sweet Jesus, man, what were you doing in Jersey?

I'm seriously trying to imagine something, anything (a sporting event?) that would make me get up off my lofty ivory perch and travel an hour to visit the burbs.  

I'm sure they're fantastic places to raise kids.   It's just that.......I hate my kids.

all the jersey cities across the river are just as gentrified now as everywhere else

[Matt]

Ok, next time I'm out in LA (which as always, I swore would never happen again), I'll try Nate and Al's.   It's going to have a really hard time beating 2nd Ave.   

I will say most of the bagels here have been totally unimpressive.  The way NYers talk about them, you'd think they were just a totally different food up here.  They're not.  They taste exactly like the ones I ate in El Paso.

Next time you're in LA I'll take you on a tour of all the bars/clubs I'm not allowed at or have been thrown out of.

[rifraft]

I'm seriously trying to imagine something, anything (a sporting event?) that would make me get up off my lofty ivory perch and travel an hour to visit the burbs.

I wish it was a sporting event.  A wife's good friend invited us out, it took a fucking 1.5 hr bus ride to get there.  I'm going to Rutgers next weekend for some wings, there are supposed to be some good ones out there, and I'm only going b/c all of my friends are going.

[Alkie]

all the jersey cities across the river are just as gentrified now as everywhere else

You know what?  I honestly never, not for a second, avoided Jersey because I was afraid it wasn't white enough.

Seriously.  That never crossed my mind.

[Matt]

Does anyone surf?

[Alkie]

Next time you're in LA I'll take you on a tour of all the bars/clubs I'm not allowed at or have been thrown out of.

Part of LA are you in?   And I've already been to all those bars, man.  I appreciate it though.   Between half my family being from there, my best friend going to USC, and various other odd trips out there, I've been to those bars.

[rifraft]

Part of LA are you in?   And I've already been to all those bars, man.  I appreciate it though.   Between half my family being from there, my best friend going to USC, and various other odd trips out there, I've been to those bars.

and been kicked out of them as well?

[Matt]

Part of LA are you in?   And I've already been to all those bars, man.  I appreciate it though.   Between half my family being from there, my best friend going to USC, and various other odd trips out there, I've been to those bars.

I actually live in south Orange County but being in the music scene has gotten me booted and banned from many bars from malibu to san diego.

[Alkie]

I wish it was a sporting event.  A wife's good friend invited us out, it took a fucking 1.5 hr bus ride to get there.  I'm going to Rutgers next weekend for some wings, there are supposed to be some good ones out there, and I'm only going b/c all of my friends are going.

1.5 hours.

does.not.compute

[Alkie]

I actually live in south Orange County

So when you said "LA" you meant it in the evolutionary sense.

[Matt]

So when you said "LA" you meant it in the evolutionary sense.

Even though it takes 3 hours to get there I consider LA as part of my region.

[Alkie]

and been kicked out of them as well?

Just the ones in Westwood and just during football season.

FUCK the Bruins and their candyass fans.  And while we're there, FUCK the Trojans too.

[Alkie]

Even though it takes 3 hours to get there I consider LA as part of my region.

I have driven every inch of Southern California, and there is no time of the day, on any freeway, where it only takes 3 hours to get from south Orange Co to LA.

You sir, are a fibber.  That's what you are.

[Matt]

I guess Hampton isn't fired just yet.

[Matt]

I have driven every inch of Southern California, and there is no time of the day, on any freeway, where it only takes 3 hours to get from south Orange Co to LA.

You sir, are a fibber.  That's what you are.

Would you believe 3 hours to Downey?

[Lurch]

Mike Fucking Hampton, Ladies and Gentlemen!  I'll take 10 more of those starts from Mike, please.

[rifraft]

Just the ones in Westwood and just during football season.

FUCK the Bruins and their candyass fans.  And while we're there, FUCK the Trojans too.

most overrated conference in college football.

strong work by hampy tonight.

[BudGirl]

not a bad outing at all.

i'm sure he's done for the night though.  he's tossed over 100 pitches.

[Jacksonian]

So, did anyone get the memo about Paulino starting tomorrow instead of Roy?

[Mr. Happy]

not a bad outing at all.

i'm sure he's done for the night though.  he's tossed over 100 pitches.

Great outing against a good hitting lineup. He knew that his career was on the line and certainly pitched like it tonight.

[Alkie]

Would you believe 3 hours to Downey?

Garden Grove, maybe.

[BudGirl]

bourn is just outfuckingstanding.  i love that kid

[Rebel Jew]

MVP  MVP MVP

[Lurch]

Damn Bourn can hit!

[Matt]

Garden Grove, maybe.

I go to Garden Grove pretty often and its not too bad if you know your shit.

[BudGirl]

and they better not strand him again.

[Matt]

Surprised Coop doesn't have Matsui bunting.

[Alkie]

most overrated conference in college football.

Don't.   Get.   Me.  Started.

One of the first conversations we had when we got out here was:
Man, you realize the Pac-10 Game of the Week starts at like 1am out here?
Who cares?
Good point.

[Rebel Jew]

I go to Garden Grove pretty often and its not too bad if you know your shit.

i used to live in garden grove, about a half mile from the crystal cathedral

[Mr. Happy]

and they better not strand him again.

A fiver says that Matsui won't get him in.

[Alkie]

Surprised Coop doesn't have Matsui bunting.

Not to get Bourn in.  Just to give up the out.

[BudGirl]

A fiver says that Matsui won't get him in.

that's not the way to be happy.

but i don't necessarily doubt you.

[Matt]

i used to live in garden grove, about a half mile from the crystal cathedral

I go mostly for the Asian food.

[Alkie]

i used to live in garden grove, about a half mile from the crystal cathedral

3 people in one Astros forum who know what/where Garden Grove is.

I would have never put money on that.

[Matt]

BANZAI!!!!

[Bench]

Sammiches all around!

[BudGirl]

free chicken dinners for everyone tomorrow.

and mr. happy owes all of us a fiver.

[Alkie]

i used to live in garden grove, about a half mile from the crystal cathedral

Took a trip to Garden Grove?

[Lurch]

Free Chicken!!!!

[Mr. Happy]

A fiver says that Matsui won't get him in.

I doubt me. Banzai!!!!

[moriartp]

Matsui-san!

[Alkie]

I doubt me. Banzai!!!!

You, sir, are NOT good at this.

[Matt]

Bourn would have had a triple on that hit by Lee haha

[BudGirl]

guess third time around is the magic

[Mr. Happy]

You, sir, are NOT good at this.

Now I'm great at it. The BBG's took note.

[Matt]

i used to live in garden grove, about a half mile from the crystal cathedral

What were you doing living in Garden Grove?

[BudGirl]

Bourn would have had a triple on that hit by Lee haha

that's because Bourn is amazing

[Mr. Happy]

that's because Bourn is amazing

Yep. How Cooper didn't screw him up this year is beyond me.

[BudGirl]

Yep. How Cooper didn't screw him up this year is beyond me.

he decided to focus on pence instead.

[Alkie]

he decided to focus on pence instead.

With that project complete, can Coop move back to his rhubarb farm?

[Mr. Happy]

he decided to focus on pence instead.

No. It was Paulino.

[BudGirl]

With that project complete, can Coop move back to his rhubarb farm?

nope, there is fresh meat with norris.  plus, he probably isn't done with paulino.

[BudGirl]

but paulino got interrupted by being sent down.  pence has been the consistent one he has focused on.

[Rebel Jew]

What were you doing living in Garden Grove?

short story:  i've wondered that ever since

long story:  i was living in san diego, dating and living with this girl i'd met in a hotel room in boston, having dinner with her one night i accidentally ran through a glass door, had 200 stitches and reconstructed toe, two weeks of constant pain and bed confinement, stayed with her mom who was a nurse, but her mom was a mobile nurse for aids patients so the mom thought i was a pussy for complaining about my pain, i got better and the girl broke up with me, i had about 2 days to find a place to live in l.a. (where i had a glamorous job lined up as a script reader in the movie bidness), the first place i found that was in my broke price range was a room in a house in garden grove for $300/month

[rifraft]

nope, there is fresh meat with norris.  plus, he probably isn't done with paulino.

well, he may bring norris in for the 3 inning save.

[Mr. Happy]

Why Sampson. I know. Every one else is hurt.

[Matt]

short story:  i've wondered that ever since

long story:  i was living in san diego, dating and living with this girl i'd met in a hotel room in boston, having dinner with her one night i accidentally ran through a glass door, had 200 stitches and reconstructed toe, two weeks of constant pain and bed confinement, stayed with her mom who was a nurse, but her mom was a mobile nurse for aids patients so the mom thought i was a pussy for complaining about my pain, i got better and the girl broke up with me, i had about 2 days to find a place to live in l.a. (where i had a glamorous job lined up as a script reader in the movie bidness), the first place i found that was in my broke price range was a room in a house in garden grove for $300/month

Dude I don't think you can secure a spot under the freeway for $300 there now.

[BudGirl]

interesting sandoval bunting for a hit. 

[Alkie]

interesting sandoval bunting for a hit. 

"If Willie Mays wants to bunt for a single, we will let him do that."

[BudGirl]

"If Willie Mays wants to bunt for a single, we will let him do that."

well, okay then.

[BudGirl]

mini sirloin burgers...

now that is a great song.

[Mr. Happy]

"If Willie Mays wants to bunt for a single, we will let him do that."

They must be managed by a numb nut too. No. 3 bunting for a hit against Sampson? Fucking stupid.

[Bench]

mini sirloin burgers...

now that is a great song.

Much catchier than the mini chicken buffalo ranch sandwich.  That song never gets stuck in my head.

[BudGirl]

Much catchier than the mini chicken buffalo ranch sandwich.  That song never gets stuck in my head.

but isn't that the one Milo sings.  he sounds really sexy.

[BudGirl]

setting him up for a double play, i hope.

[Alkie]

So wait, does anyone from Texas post on this site anymore?

[rifraft]

is it just me or does it seem like arias has pitched in 80% of the games in the 3 weeks?

[BudGirl]

So wait, does anyone from Texas post on this site anymore?

no

[Alkie]

no

I didn't think so.

http://www.robsxxx.com/blog/uploads/big-juicy-oiled-tits.jpg

[Bench]

So wait, does anyone from Texas post on this site anymore?

That cultural backwater?  Who would live there?  The pastrami really sucks.

[BudGirl]

i don't click on your links.

[Alkie]

i don't click on your links.

Wasn't for you anyway.

[Matt]

So wait, does anyone from Texas post on this site anymore?

I'm FROM Texas, I just haven't lived there in 8 years.

[BudGirl]

I'm FROM Texas, I just haven't lived there in 8 years.

and for that we say thank you.

[Alkie]

I'm FROM Texas, I just haven't lived there in 8 years.

Well shit, hogars, we all FROM Texas. 

[BudGirl]

Wasn't for you anyway.

again, you exclude me.  asshole.

[Alkie]

again, you exclude me.  asshole.

That was why I did it.

[Matt]

and for that we say thank you.

Yeah I did wear out my welcome.

[Matt]

Arias has nasty stuff and no idea where its going.

[Alkie]

Yeah I did wear out my welcome.

What's the longest you've been in a place before you were tossed?

[BudGirl]

yeah, bring in the lefty to turn winn around, you can do it cooper, don't be scared.

[BudGirl]

wow, cooper left him in there.

[Alkie]

yeah, bring in the lefty to turn winn around, you can do it cooper, don't be scared.

Why?   Is there some statistical advantage to turning a switch hitter around to a side in which he hits with less power and a lower on base percentage?

[Matt]

What's the longest you've been in a place before you were tossed?

21 years in Texas but that's because its fucking Texas.  Any other state wouldn't have put up with the rowdiness for that long.

[Bench]

What's the longest you've been in a place before you were tossed?

Total Time Spent Online:     21 days, 10 hours and 49 minutes.

[Matt]

Nice fucking play!

[BudGirl]

it wasn't a shabby play at all.

[Alkie]

Awesome!

I just found out 4 people are ignoring me.

I had no idea.

That's like the coolest thing I've heard all day.

[roadrunner]

I'm not in Texas.

I also can't see the game, and my connection is too weak for gamecast.  Can someone give me a few more details about what's going on?  

[Mr. Happy]

Awesome!

I just found out 4 people are ignoring me.

I had no idea.

That's like the coolest thing I've heard all day.

It's a badge of honor.

[MusicMan]

It's a badge of honor.

Then legs_of_eggs is the most honorable guy ever.

[Alkie]

It's a badge of honor.

Well, it's interesting because I had 0 ignorers before I started the NYC move, so those posts have really struck a nerve.

That's pretty fucking cool.

[BudGirl]

what's the big deal?  someone ignores me.

[Matt]

I'm not in Texas.

I also can't see the game, and my connection is too weak for gamecast.  Can someone give me a few more details about what's going on?  

Matt Cain was all like PEW PEW and the Astros were like damn! This dude is tough. Then Mike Hampton was being all gutsy and only gave up 2 runs while the manager for the Astros Geoff Blum came out of the dugout and said FUCK MATT CAIN! He hit a homer.  Then Bourn was all TRIPLE LOL! Matsui went out to bunt but instead hit a 2 run homer and chicken sandwiches rained from the rafters. Cecil Cooper woke up to talk to Arias about what a fucking stud he is and here we are at 3-2 Astros in the 8th inning.

[BudGirl]

bottom of the 8th, 2-3 astros.

[MusicMan]

Matt Cain was all like PEW PEW and the Astros were like damn! This dude is tough. Then Mike Hampton was being all gutsy and only gave up 2 runs while the manager for the Astros Geoff Blum came out of the dugout and said FUCK MATT CAIN! He hit a homer.  Then Bourn was all TRIPLE LOL! Matsui went out to bunt but instead hit a 2 run homer and chicken sandwiches rained from the rafters. Cecil Cooper woke up to talk to Arias about what a fucking stud he is and here we are at 3-2 Astros in the 8th inning.

You, sir, just wrote the damn recap for me.  I am in your debt.

[BudGirl]

You, sir, just wrote the damn recap for me.  I am in your debt.

just need to add hunter's triple.

[Bench]

Matt Cain was all like PEW PEW and the Astros were like damn! This dude is tough. Then Mike Hampton was being all gutsy and only gave up 2 runs while the manager for the Astros Geoff Blum came out of the dugout and said FUCK MATT CAIN! He hit a homer.  Then Bourn was all TRIPLE LOL! Matsui went out to bunt but instead hit a 2 run homer and chicken sandwiches rained from the rafters. Cecil Cooper woke up to talk to Arias about what a fucking stud he is and here we are at 3-2 Astros in the 8th inning.

That sums it up perfectly.

[MusicMan]

Alright, am I the only one that thinks that Pence's hustle face, last seen between 2b and 3b, would also show up - put this delicately - in the throes of passion?

[Bench]

Alright, am I the only one that thinks that Pence's hustle face, last seen between 2b and 3b, would also show up - put this delicately - in the throes of passion?

Either that or the throes of a plate glass window.

[roadrunner]

Matt Cain was all like PEW PEW and the Astros were like damn! This dude is tough. Then Mike Hampton was being all gutsy and only gave up 2 runs while the manager for the Astros Geoff Blum came out of the dugout and said FUCK MATT CAIN! He hit a homer.  Then Bourn was all TRIPLE LOL! Matsui went out to bunt but instead hit a 2 run homer and chicken sandwiches rained from the rafters. Cecil Cooper woke up to talk to Arias about what a fucking stud he is and here we are at 3-2 Astros in the 8th inning.

Thank you.  That was Scully-esque...

[rifraft]

Alright, am I the only one that thinks that Pence's hustle face, last seen between 2b and 3b, would also show up - put this delicately - in the throes of passion?

that's an 'Oh' face if I've ever seen one.

[Lurch]

Alright, am I the only one that thinks that Pence's hustle face, last seen between 2b and 3b, would also show up - put this delicately - in the throes of passion?

His Oh Face?

[Matt]

You gotta add the new stuff to it about Pence and Kabong

[MusicMan]

Ladies*, for $30, you can check out Hunter's Lodge and see the oh face for yourselves.

*and men too, if that's how you roll.

[Bench]

Ladies*, for $30, you can check out Hunter's Lodge and see the oh face for yourselves.

*and men too, if that's how you roll.

Oddly enough, while many of Houston's females are head over heels in love with Hunter, most gay men I know don't find him attractive at all.

[BudGirl]

so, who gets sent down so paulino can come pitch?

[MusicMan]

so, who gets sent down so paulino can come pitch?

Gervacio seems like a near certainty.

[BudGirl]

Oddly enough, while many of Houston's females are head over heels in love with Hunter, most gay men I know don't find him attractive at all.

he's just so dreamy

[Bench]

so, who gets sent down so paulino can come pitch?

Kata

[rifraft]

Oddly enough, while many of Houston's females are head over heels in love with Hunter, most gay men I know don't find him attractive at all.

this straight man doesn't find him attractive either.

[Bench]

Gervacio seems like a near certainty.

Yeah.  What you said.

Especially since he just got up to do some work in the bullpen.

[MikeyBoy]

Well, it's interesting because I had 0 ignorers before I started the NYC move, so those posts have really struck a nerve.

That's pretty fucking cool.

Maybe if I posted about life in Katy, I could then score my first ignore. Problem is, I can't write for shit and it takes me seven minutes just to get out of the goddamn neighborhood.

[Alkie]

Problem is, I can't write for shit and it takes me seven minutes just to get out of the goddamn neighborhood.

That hasn't stopped any of the rest of us.

[Bench]

Did JD ever explain the "kung fu panda" thing?

[Alkie]

Fuck.  Tard.

[BUWebguy]

Sandoval looks like an old Tony Gwynn.

[MusicMan]

Defensive replacement Michaels misplays the liner into a run.  4-3.

[BudGirl]

oh no

[Alkie]

Did JD ever explain the "kung fu panda" thing?

I'm gonna go WAAAAAAAAAAAY out on a limb and assume it's because he.....looks......like.......Kung Fu Panda?

[austro]

Come on, Michaels: you have to keep the hitter off of second base.

[Matt]

Maybe if I posted about life in Katy, I could then score my first ignore. Problem is, I can't write for shit and it takes me seven minutes just to get out of the goddamn neighborhood.

I have a neighbor lady that stares at people passing by and steals their souls with her cold dark eyes.

[Alkie]

Defensive replacement Michaels misplays the liner into a run.  4-3.

Michaels is an outstanding baseball player, and it makes good sense to pay him 6 to 7 digits a year to do so.

[Matt]

what the fuck was Michaels doing?

[MusicMan]

Seriously, Jason.  You're not hitting for dick, so make sure to stand around when the ball bounces away so that SuperBourn can clean up your mess. 

[Mr. Happy]

Michaels sucks.

[Bench]

I'm gonna go WAAAAAAAAAAAY out on a limb and assume it's because he.....looks......like.......Kung Fu Panda?

Guess I'm more of a General Gao's Chicken guy.

Nice win. 

[BudGirl]

astros win.  astros win

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

woohoo

[MusicMan]

Ballgame.  4-3 Astros.

[Alkie]

Seriously, Jason.  You're not hitting for dick, so make sure to stand around when the ball bounces away so that SuperBourn can clean up your mess. 

DONE!

Oh.  OH I see.  I see what you were doing there.  With the thing.  Yes.

[Bench]

Seriously, Jason.  You're not hitting for dick, so make sure to stand around when the ball bounces away so that SuperBourn can clean up your mess. 

I thought that at first, but the replay showed Bourn clearly calling him off the ball.

[MusicMan]

Michaels sucks.

I thought it was a good signing at the time.  Shows you the fuck I know.

[BudGirl]

I thought it was a good signing at the time.  Shows you the fuck I know.

as much as the rest of us.

i also thought bourn was calling him off.

[austro]

Seriously, Jason.  You're not hitting for dick, so make sure to stand around when the ball bounces away so that SuperBourn can clean up your mess. 

Maybe they'll send him away to make room for Paulino.

Seriously, though, my guess is that they're going to DL Roy, so nobody goes down.

[Alkie]

MICHAELS:  I GOT IT I GOT IT!
BOURN:  Nah, brah, let it drop, kick it, and stand there.  I'll run 60 extra feet and throw it in for you.   

[Bench]

Seriously, though, my guess is that they're going to DL Roy, so nobody goes down.

Fuck you for coming out and saying it.

[BudGirl]

MICHAELS:  I GOT IT I GOT IT!
BOURN:  Nah, brah, let it drop, kick it, and stand there.  I'll run 60 extra feet and throw it in for you.   

bourn just wanted to be involved in another play.  gloss hound.

[austro]

Fuck you for coming out and saying it.

Sorry, but I'd rather they do it now than trot him out there before he's ready and have him really fuck things up.

[Bench]

MICHAELS:  I GOT IT I GOT IT!
BOURN:  Nah, brah, let it drop, kick it, and stand there.  I'll run 60 extra feet and throw it in for you.   

Well I think he could have pulled that off, but in his modesty Bourn didn't call Michaels off until after Michaels booted it.

[BudGirl]

anyone else think that Yoshi makes up Matsui's answers?

[Alkie]

Now we're listening to Scully call the Dodgers/Brewers game.   It's total hell.

This Scully guy is describing the action as it happens and, ready for this, sprinkling in facts and news around the action.

I can't take much more of this.   

[Bench]

anyone else think that Yoshi makes up Matsui's answers?

I think Kaz was genuinely excited when he learned about the chicken sammiches.

[BudGirl]

I think Kaz was genuinely excited when he learned about the chicken sammiches.

hope he has a ticket, otherwise he's not getting a sammich

[Alkie]

I think Kaz was genuinely excited when he learned about the chicken sammiches.

I gotta say, that whole concept may be the most Japanese League thing in MLB.

[SaltyParker]

MICHAELS:  I GOT IT I GOT IT!
BOURN:  Nah, brah, let it drop, kick it, and stand there.  I'll run 60 extra feet and throw it in for you.   

Michaels can't measure up to Jason Lane, and Lane was run out of town on a rail.

[Bench]

hope he has a ticket, otherwise he's not getting a sammich

Though nothing will ever top Pence's "Hey, Houston's gotta eat!" last year.

[MusicMan]

anyone else think that Yoshi makes up Matsui's answers?

No offense to Matt, but I had to include Yoshi in the recap.  That was too classic.

[Bench]

Gervacio seems like a near certainty.

Footer confirms that it is.

[JaneDoe]

I'm going to assume you're kidding, because otherwise....you get that it wasn't a GOOD thing, right?  I was saying it as a backhanded remark to BatGirl and Jane Doe.   I'll be sure to include you in all my minor insults from now on.  I had no idea you cared.

I'm sooooo insulted.  Fuck off Alkie.

[MRaup]

Did anyone else notice it looked like Hunter and Wandy have been making out?

Pence had a pretty serious looking cold sore/herpes sore/hole in his lip today.

[Matt]

Did anyone else notice it looked like Hunter and Wandy have been making out?

Pence had a pretty serious looking cold sore/herpes sore/hole in his lip today.

He's just been hanging out at Hooter's.

[MRaup]

Did anyone else notice it looked like Hunter and Wandy have been making out?

Pence had a pretty serious looking cold sore/herpes sore/hole in his lip today.

This might even be too vague for the TZ, but I thought Hunter bore a striking resemblance to Pal from Uncle Buck last night.