Topics

1

Beer and Queso / For All Mankind

« on: November 03, 2019, 10:44:57 am »

So I got a 1 year free subscription to Apple TV+, which is fortunate because I was not going to sign up otherwise.  I started watching “For All Mankind” and I have to say that I’m intrigued.  The pacing is a little slow, but the premise is fascinating and I’m interested to see where they take it. 

Spoiler-free synopsis is that the Russians beat the US to the moon, and so the entire space race is upended as a result.  The demoralized US program is fighting for its existence while paranoia in Nixon’s White House (brilliantly represented by secret Oval Office recordings) threatens the militarization of space.

There’s a clever blend of history and fiction, including the use of real characters (Armstrong, Aldrin, Collins, Deke Sleyton...even Nixon).  I have not watched one of these history retcons before, and I’m looking forward to seeing where they go.

As an aside, “The Morning Show” is getting strong reviews.  I’m still not sure there’s enough here to have me spring for the $5/month subscription (rather than buy in from time to time to binge), but they’ve got a year to make themselves indispensable. 

Three episodes are up now, and then 1 a week u til the series is complete (10 total). 

2

Beer and Queso / El Real

« on: October 28, 2019, 11:15:08 am »

Closed, as of last night. 

Gone for good.  Brian Caswell said it never made enough money and he wants to focus on Reef. 

I just know that it was always busy and, on “Montrose Monday” - when locals got a 50% discount on the food - it was packed.  On Monday, the wait was 60-90 minutes and those waiting were drinking up a storm at the bar.  But they changed the deal to a 30% discount only on certain food items, and it was never anywhere near as busy again on any night. 

I have no idea of the background or the finances, but the anecdotal evidence of a sharp decline in patronage after the change to the Monday deal was clear and real.  Sad to see the place go.  I wonder what it will become now. 

3

Talk Zone / Brensberg

« on: October 23, 2019, 07:26:20 am »

Lost at the plate.  Painful to watch. 

4

Talk Zone / WS Rotation

« on: October 21, 2019, 04:16:44 pm »

Cole has been announced for Game #1 and I presume it’s Verlander for Game #2.  So we go:

1.  Cole
2.  Verlander
Travel Day
3.  Greinke
4.  Underpants Gnomes
5.  Cole
Travel Day
6.  Verlander
7.  Everyone (except JV)

5

Beer and Queso / Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

« on: July 21, 2019, 07:53:10 pm »

I saw this when it first came out.  Not being a reader of graphic novels, I was viewing it as a stand-alone piece, and I remember being significantly underwhelmed.   Apparently I wasn’t alone because the movie bombed and lost a bunch.  Regardless, I watched it again this weekend.

HOW FUCKING GOOD IS THIS MOVIE!

The imagery, the music, the humor...it all adds up to a fantastic experience.  Edgar Wright used to direct music videos, so there’s no surprise that he could make the most of the music-related set pieces.  What I didn’t realize was the wealth of talent involved, from the soundtrack to the players.  Metric gave the movie “Black Sheep” and I’m now somewhat obsessed with Brie Larson’s version of it.

It’s has a completely unique style, the visual effects are stunning, the casting is inspired and the execution is near flawless.

6

Beer and Queso / Apollo 11

« on: May 17, 2019, 10:47:27 am »

I watched this documentary last night.  Someone found a trove of 65mm footage from the mission, and they've spliced it together to make a riveting (once you get past the first 15 minutes or so) documentary.  The footage is so good it almost looks fake; the actual footage of the rocket leaving the pad puts movie versions - even Apollo 13 - to shame (but nothing beats this, of course).

The way they use the footage with the telecom chatter between Mission Control and the astronauts is fantastic.  The overlay of speed, distance and - for the lunar descent - height and fuel data, is a brilliant touch.  I found the sequences of the lunar insertion burn, the Earth insertion burn and, of course, the landing, to be truly stressful to watch.  I swear my heart rate was higher than those reported of Armstrong and Aldrin.  Realizing that they had to initiate the Earth insertion burn from the dark side of the moon is a scary thought; they were out of Earth contact while firing a rocket that could have propelled them off into Knowhere.  Couldn't have been easy for people on the ground either, waiting to hear if they guys had got it right.

Other stuff I didn't know is that they executed the manoeuvre to detach from - and extract the LIM from - the last rocket stage while en route to the moon (cue Deadpool 2 soundtrack) and that it was set to gently spin to keep a consistent temperature during the traverse.

Also, Aldrin described a mountain on the moon as "a mother".  Armstrong was all business, all engineer, no swearing.

7

Beer and Queso / Dating App

« on: February 13, 2019, 04:06:01 pm »

The is a bovine dating app - basically for farmers to match bulls and cows.

Name it!  Go...

8

Beer and Queso / Stan Lee

« on: November 12, 2018, 02:04:01 pm »

Passed away at age 95.

9

Beer and Queso / Dennis Hof Dies

« on: October 17, 2018, 09:02:37 am »

This story doesn't move me one way or another, but it is notable for this:

Hof, a candidate for the state Assembly in a district in southern Nevada, died in his sleep in the hours after a celebration that featured pornography star Ron Jeremy, former Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio and anti-tax activist Grover Norquist.

Seriously, WTF?

10

Beer and Queso / 5G in Houston

« on: October 02, 2018, 12:45:35 pm »

We're one of the first 4 cities to get Verizon's 5G service.  Anyone got it?  Thinking of getting it?  Is it any good?

11

Beer and Queso / Crack Open a Coors

« on: September 06, 2018, 04:26:39 pm »

Burt Reynolds dead at 82.

12

Beer and Queso / World Cup 2026

« on: June 13, 2018, 10:46:26 am »

Congratulations Team USA for qualifying for the 2026 finals.

In other news, my email has been blowing up with enquiries about the status of my spare room(s).

13

Beer and Queso / Infinity War (Spoilers)

« on: May 01, 2018, 09:46:43 pm »

Holy fucking shit!  That went way darker than I could’ve imagined. 

14

Beer and Queso / Facebook in Freefall

« on: March 26, 2018, 10:47:13 am »

Stock is down 5% this morning and about 15% overall since the shitstorm broke about Cambridge Analytica.  Now that people are “woke” to what Facebook is doing - including tracking your calls and texts - people are furious.

This is an existential crisis for the platform; I’m a heavy user and I’m *this* close to deleting my account.  As it stands, I have locked down my account as far as I know how, unfollowed anything not a human being and deleted all the apps that were tracking me.

Still, on Saturday I got an update on my wall that a friend had completed one of those “what type of thing are you?” quizzes that trawl your and your friends’ data.  I alerted him to this fact as a comment to his post but the post and the subsequent comments were deleted - not by either of us - mid-discussion!  This is insane; they are tracking anti-Facebook conversations in real time and purging them from the platform. 

This has always been Facebook’s inherent flaw: they make money by doing things that, if known by their subscribers, would make them horrified.  Well their subcribers are starting to get a stronger and stronger whiff of what’s been going on, and I don’t think this is going to end well for Facebook. 

15

Beer and Queso / Musk’s BFR

« on: February 06, 2018, 04:06:19 pm »

That launch was fucking awesome.  It’s amazing what SpaceX has achieved.  Send Musk’s Roadster to Mars may be a little egotistical but, really, who can blame him? 

16

Beer and Queso / Rick Smith Stepping Down as Texans GM

« on: January 02, 2018, 09:22:28 am »

I am happy with this news, which is tempered by the fact that it is due to his wife being diagnosed with breast cancer.  I wish her a speedy and full recovery.

I also wish Bob McNair the speedy and successful recruitment of a successor.  The potential for this squad in 2018 should attract a strong panel of candidates.

17

Talk Zone / The End of Big Money Free Agents

« on: November 03, 2017, 10:46:22 am »

Sorry Yu, but this guy reckons that the Astros have put an end to big money free agent signings.  The tear-down, rebuild model is now the proven way to go.

I think he's correct that the tear-down, rebuild model is proven; I think he's completely wrong that it's the end of big money free agent signings.  He is overlooking one major factor:  idiot owners.  They will never tire of pumping their own egos and getting to sniff the jock of a superstar athlete by splashing big money for him.  It sells shirts and seats in the short term, and no manager is going to say "no" to a big talent injection.  Also, very few owners will have the patience and inner peace required to suck up 300 losses in three years.

So Darvish and the rest will get their money because it only takes one owner to blink.  The Astros?  I like the talk in here of Gattis as everyday PHer, because they need all the money they can get to keep this team together as the players come up for new contracts.

18

Talk Zone / The First Computer World Series

« on: October 24, 2017, 09:05:24 am »

Interesting article noting the extreme analytical approach of the Astros and Dodgers.  Remember when the Cardinals hacked the Astros to get a look at the Astros' database?  Yeah, it's cyber-crime important these days.

19

Beer and Queso / Star Trek: Discovery (Spoilers)

« on: October 19, 2017, 09:06:25 am »

I was a little skeptical at first, but this show is really blossoming.  I do recognize that it's pulling inspiration for a number of places - like Discovery's "Galatican" ability to jump into and out of a hot zone (and is "go" really the best they could come up with as the jump command?) - but the characters are rounding out nicely and there is a lot to enjoy in the in-episode and long arc story lines.

I am not sure how Discovery's spore-based jump system fits into the timeline - this being between the original Trek and TNG.  Is it simply because Abrams blew up the old timeline with the movie reboot and so it's all free and clear going forward?  I'm not sure I'm cool with Picard et al being erased from history like that but, then again, it looks like he is setting up to erase the Jedi from Star Wars so...fuck.

20

Talk Zone / Indians or Yankees?

« on: October 10, 2017, 09:41:20 am »

The Indians are very good but, in the MLB thumb on the scales category, no more likely of help than the Astros.  The Yankees will get as much help as MLB thinks it can get away with...and then some.  Also, the TV coverage will be unbearable.  The TV people should be salivating over the thought of two 100-win teams going at it (and again in the Series, potentially), but they won't; they'll want the Yankees all the way and will crack a 4-hour+ boner over a Yankees - Dodgers World Series.

But the Astros will have home field advantage and a better shot at beating the Yankees, MLB's thumb notwithstanding.  I honestly can't decide.

21

Beer and Queso / Football (not Football, Futbol or Foosball)

« on: September 08, 2017, 10:43:43 am »

Patriots....HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

More importantly, though, can the Texans hold off the Titans?  If Watt is back (pun intended) then he and Clowney will blow up a lot of offenses.  But it took a tie-breaker to pip the Titans last year and they're getting better whereas I'm not sure the Texans will score enough points to win games despite the likely stifling defense they'll have.

A home opener against Jacksonville is a nice way to start the campaign, though.

22

Beer and Queso / Irma(gurd)

« on: September 06, 2017, 02:43:44 pm »

Sustained winds of 185mph makes her the strongest hurricane ever recorded, and is the equivalent wind speed to an EF4 tornado.  I just read that they have been measuring gusts near the eye wall of 225mph.  Barbuda has already been hit (and hasn't been heard from since) and the storm surge is perilously close to the level that will simply wipe out Turks and Caicos.

So many islands in her path, and then Miami...

23

Beer and Queso / Two Steps One Sticker

« on: July 31, 2017, 10:53:05 am »

Yes, "Two Steps One Sticker" is the name of the website that the State of Texas has set up to explain its new vehicle registration / inspection process. They don't get online much, apparently.

24

Beer and Queso / In What Order to Watch the MCU

« on: July 06, 2017, 11:08:38 am »

Apparently, it's not release date order.  Basically, someone has figured out the chronology of the events, and that you can watch them in that order without effing things up.  They even throw in the Edward Norton "Hulk" effort.

25

Beer and Queso / Aaron Hernandez - Unmaking a Murderer

« on: April 21, 2017, 10:07:15 am »

An odd quirk of law is that Hernandez' death, while appealing his original murder conviction, means that the original conviction is set aside.  He's no longer a murderer; simply, now, a dead former NFL player.

That has financial repercussions.  I think the league and the Patriots now owe his estate a shit-ton of money.

26

Beer and Queso / Charlie Murphy

« on: April 12, 2017, 02:46:11 pm »

Off to party with Rick James.

27

Beer and Queso / J Geils

« on: April 12, 2017, 02:09:16 pm »

His blood has run cold.

28

Talk Zone / Just When I Thought I Was Out...

« on: April 06, 2017, 11:01:36 am »

I'm watching Astros games again.  I feel so dirty.

29

Beer and Queso / Name the Exo Planets

« on: February 28, 2017, 09:53:08 am »

Twitter is having some fun with that.

Harry Potter fanatics want them named after the 7 Potter movies (omitting that there were ; Star Wars fans want them named after the 4 Star Wars movies (because the first 3 didn't really happen); Disney fans want them named after the 7 dwarfs (which is actually pretty good); and Bueller fans want them named "Hey, Batter, Batter, Batter, Batter, Sa-Wing, Batter."

My personal, serious, favorite is Scobee, Smith, McNair, Onizuka, Resnik, Jarvis, and McAuliffe; the 7 crew members of the Challenger.  Just seems right somehow for the seven brave souls who "slipped the surly bonds of Earth to touch the face of God."

30

Beer and Queso / URGENT: Need Real Estate Attorney in Houston

« on: January 27, 2017, 10:06:56 am »

Need recommendations for a real estate attorney for one of Mrs Limey's clients.  The dispute is over the purchase of a new construction home. 

Please email suggestions to [email protected]

31

Beer and Queso / The Last Jedi

« on: January 23, 2017, 02:56:32 pm »

Luke?  Rey?   Plural?

32

Beer and Queso / Rogue One (Spoilers...probably)

« on: December 16, 2016, 02:55:45 pm »

A thoroughly entertaining movie, laced with detail that ties it firmly into the main story but, importantly, used for the purpose of moving the plot (not to stiffen fan boys' pants).   

It connects backwards and forwards perfectly, and leads us to the moment immediately prior to the opening scene of EpIV.   Even the scroll on EpIV works (I checked).  They did a brilliant job with this - a light year from the clumsy efforts on the prequels that shall not be named. 

So it's part EpIV Pt 1 and it's part Saving Private Ryan.  Remember that "many Bothans died" to bring news to the 2nd Death Star; well that takes on a far greater and deeper meaning once you've seen Rogue One!

My only question is:  where do you watch this in the sequence?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

33

Talk Zone / Help

« on: October 20, 2016, 09:10:09 pm »

I am in Pittsburgh, watching the NLCS, wanting both teams to implode viciously and hilariously.   How do I square this circle?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

34

Beer and Queso / Dome to Get a Lift

« on: September 27, 2016, 12:22:40 pm »

They're going to raise the floor and put parking underneath.  No news on where all the cats will go.

35

Beer and Queso / Livin' La Vida Uber

« on: August 11, 2016, 09:12:27 am »

I have a very short drive to work, less than 5 miles.  Today I took an Uber (because the missus needed my car while hers is in the shop) and, with 1.2x surge pricing in effect, it cost $10; so that's $8 on a non-surge day.  Still, let's say that's $20/day to/from work, 5 days a week, 4 weeks a month; that's $400/month in Uber charges for commuting.  I don't need to tell you what I pay a month for my German Penis Enhancer, but it's somewhat more than that.  Plus insurance, plus gas, plus maintenance, plus depreciation, plus ticket(s).

Outside of work, I rarely drive my car.  We Uber when we go out because of drinking and the fact that you cannot park anywhere now in Houston.  Even when going on client visits, I can ride with a colleague but, when going downtown, Uber is cheaper and easier than parking anyway.  I live in Montrose, which means I can walk to most of what I need (i.e. beer, tacos etc.).  Mrs Limey has a Land Rover that she has for her work (which is fully tax-deductible), so we have shopping trips and road trips covered.

The only time I see a slight issue is when I play golf: my club is in Sharpstown and getting an Uber back from there is a challenge as typically there aren't many around in the area .  But really that just means a slightly longer wait time than usual, which is easy to plan for.  Otherwise, when playing away from my club often will be far out of town, so a much longer ride there and back.

Am I missing anything?  I really am thinking of ditching the car, trousering the equity and livin' la vida Uber!

36

Beer and Queso / Dwight Howard is a Towering Intellect

« on: March 23, 2016, 10:23:49 am »

Caught using Stickem...in basketball.

No sanctions to be levied against anyone, because the endless hilarity of such mind-blowing stupidity is more than enough.

37

Beer and Queso / David Bowie - Changed

« on: January 11, 2016, 06:13:54 am »

Moved on from human form to his next incarnation. 

38

Beer and Queso / Background Check Rules

« on: January 06, 2016, 09:32:13 am »

I always thought that it was illegal for regular people to have fully automatic weapons. It's not. At all. For a person to get one, they're required to go through an enhanced level of screening, which is a good thing. But I said person; what if the fully automatic weapon was being acquired by a corporation or trust? No background check. None. Nada. So if you want one, it's easier to set up a gun trust to buy it on your behalf than it is to buy it yourself, especially if you're not going to pass a background check in the first place.

In 2000, there were 900 purchases of fully automatic weapons made by corporations/trusts. I'm assuming that a lot are for the movie industry, but I'm sure there are some private individuals in there. In 2014, there were 90,000...NINETY THOUSAND.

The NRA tells us that the only protection against a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. What if the bad guy has a bigger gun...that's fully automatic?

39

Beer and Queso / Star Wars VII: Spoilers Thread (You Have Been Warned)

« on: December 21, 2015, 02:08:26 pm »

I thought I'd start this so those of us who've seen the movie can discuss it in detail, rather than in veiled comments.

Rey:
Some say she's Ren's twin but I don't see the Solos having a daughter that they don't know about or have forgotten.  Maybe they thought she was dead; possible, but you'd think Leia would get the ol' strange feeling in the Force when they meet.  I have another thought, intertwined with Kylo Ren...


Kylo Ren:
Also called "Ben" by his father, Han Solo, just before Ren killed him.  Ren's background is the one most fleshed out in the movie, but than name...Ben.  Why would they call their son Ben, when neither Han nore Leia had much of a relationship with Kenobi?  What if Ben and Rey are twins...but are the offspring of Luke?  Ben wouldn't be the first Skywalker offloaded onto an aunt and uncle, and Rey wouldn't be the first one dumped on a remote desert shithole.


Finn:
Abrams has said that both Rey's and Finn's last names have been withheld deliberately.  I'm going to go out on a (racist) limb here, and say that Finn's last name is Calrissian.  However, it could be Solo, which would also explain why Han and Leia were split (I doubt very much that Star Wars would go there, however).



Overall Impressions:

Need to see it again as I was too caught up in trying to figure everything out that I forgot to just watch the fucking movie.  It was a "proper" Star Wars movie though; mostly, unfortunately, because the plot is pretty much a remake of IV with a seemingly endless stream of nods, winks and throwbacks to the old trilogy that became increasingly unnecessary.  When will the Empire / First Order learn to put the self-destruct button on the inside?

The x-wing approach over water and the in-atmo dog fight with tie fighters was fantastic.

Plenty of plot holes: some deliberate, some not.  It wouldn't be Star Wars without them though (why doesn't Ren Force-fuck the shit out of Finn - like he'd just done to Rey - instead of choosing to fight him with a light sabre?)

I have read that there was supposed to be a bunch of dialog between Rey and Luke at the end, but they cut it as it would have been a real snooze to end the movie on a bunch of exposition.  Hopefully that's where VIII picks up.

40

Beer and Queso / MNF: Bills - Pats

« on: November 24, 2015, 10:46:04 am »

That was an entertaining game (and I'm not usually very good at being engaged in games where I have no allegiance).  Unfortunately, a lot of the entertainment centered around the referees dick-stomping their way through the game in spectacular fashion.

It was fitting, then, that the game ended, then didn't, then did, all on the back of the linesman who got two easy calls 100% wrong in quick succession.  First, a completed pass by the Bills was ruled out of bounds, which effectively would have ended the game but was overturned (easily) on review.  Then on another sideline pass he ruled the Bills receiver downed inbounds and ended the game when the receiver was never downed and got into touch with a couple of seconds on the clock.

So much had gone wrong in that game that the Pats probably deserved the win; and it's almost unthinkable that the Bills would've been able to do anything with one last play by their one-armed QB.  But there's even more irony here as Taylor was hurt when he fell on his shoulder as the result of a petulant shove by a Patriot long after the pass had gone (and went incomplete and resulted in a change of possession IIRC).  That should've been a roughing call with 15 yards and an automatic 1st down, but it was one of a seemingly endless strong of blown calls last night.

And all of this is in addition to the "inadvertent whistle" when they whistled the play dead incorrectly, then screwed up the adjudication of that after a huddle (they gave the Pats the catch when they should not have done so).

That crew needs to go back to umpire school.

41

Beer and Queso / This Will Get Out of Control...

« on: November 24, 2015, 09:17:11 am »

It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it.

Turkey shoots down Russian fighter jet.

Happy Thanksgiving!

42

Beer and Queso / Some Nasty Shit Going Down in Paris Tonight

« on: November 13, 2015, 03:49:47 pm »

Explosions, shootings, at least 18 dead and hostages taken.  Here's a live blog.

Fuckers

43

Talk Zone / By all means cheer for the Cubs

« on: October 08, 2015, 04:38:21 pm »

Everyone loves an underdog. And everyone is seemingly rooting for the Chicago Cubs in the postseason.

But while those two things may be true, they are not or, at least, should not be in any way related. Because the Chicago Cubs are not underdogs. The Chicago Cubs are a big market team with unlimited resources that has failed, year after year, for the past 106 years. The story of Cubs history is not one of an overlooked band of scrappers always coming up short, it’s a tale of high-profile, highly-paid and over-exposed losers.

Hehe

44

Beer and Queso / Big Woodrows Closed?

« on: August 24, 2015, 12:06:40 pm »

It's been "closed for renovation" for a while now.  Their website says it's due to re-open in August while Yelp says September 1.  I drove by it last Friday, and it's not had a thing done to it.  Methinks it's gone for good.

I almost lived there in my early years in Houston (mid-nineties).  The food was good before they fell out with Floyd, since when (a very long time) the food has been middling at best.  I was there for much of the Rockets' runs in '94 and '95 - I was there when the finals game was pre-empted for O.J's low-speed Bronco chase, to which the patrons reacted with little empathy.

Maybe the combination of the Frankenseinian expansion, perennially inadequate parking, poor food, poor service (lately), abysmal toilets and vastly better options finally caught up with the old girl.  For all of those faults, I'll miss going there for crawfish, as it seems there are few places to do that around town these days.

45

Beer and Queso / Tianjin Explosion

« on: August 13, 2015, 10:44:58 am »

Here's a blog from The Guardian, that includes some amazing photos and unbelievable video footage.  The dashcam video is insane.

46

Beer and Queso / Hard Knocks

« on: August 12, 2015, 08:40:43 am »

That was entertaining and enlightening.  I've never been formally coached like that, so I have no idea what it's like (or whether this was any different to any other).  I thought the Texans' coaching staff were pragmatic, realistic and funny.  The players' are funnier.  Hopkins is a great talent and a showboat.  Watt is a great talent, a showboat, a hard worker and seemingly very aware of his good fortune.

I hate the Redskins now.

Great closing line:  "Let's get the fuck out of Richmond."

Can't wait until next week.

47

Beer and Queso / NFL to Ban Helmets?

« on: June 18, 2015, 11:30:45 am »

By which they mean actual helmets, not just bell-ends like Jerry Jones.

48

Beer and Queso / Portland, ME

« on: June 12, 2015, 12:21:26 pm »

Anyone been?  Worthwhile trip?  Is there somewhere better for a short trip to Maine?

Thanks!

49

Beer and Queso / Gold Cup

« on: June 10, 2015, 04:24:58 pm »

Nice warm up for the USMNT, they beat the Netherlands in Amsterdam (4-3) and today beat World Camps Germany in Cologne (2-1).  Smells like victory.

Their Gold Cup campaign kicks off in Dallas on July 7 at 8:30pm CDT.  I think they're ready.

50

Beer and Queso / Antonio Smith

« on: May 22, 2015, 09:09:24 am »

Being investigated in Fort Bend Co. for child abuse "of a sexual nature".  Ugh!

51

Beer and Queso / NFL Gives Up Tax-Exempt Status

« on: April 29, 2015, 10:07:27 am »

Firstly...the NFL was a tax-exempt organisation?  WTF?

Apparently, as a trade organisation, the NFL itself - not the teams - had such status.  It's always been odd but, in the wake of issues like the Washington franchise's nickname, concussions, multiple occurrences of domestic abuse...and murder, the NFL has come under more and more pressure to clean up its act or lose its tax exemption.  Well, in lieu of the former, the NFL has accepted the latter.

Goodell is cementing his place in history as one of the worst major league commissioners in history (a very low bar) as well as a pretty awful human being.

52

Beer and Queso / Houston Foreclosure Auctions

« on: April 06, 2015, 08:58:55 am »

Anyone ever been to one?  Can you give me some scoop?  (Like where are they and what to bring)

Thanks!

53

Beer and Queso / NFL Changes Stupid "Bryant" Catch Rule...

« on: March 24, 2015, 09:06:38 am »

...and replaces it with another...stupid...catch rule.

Instead of making a "football move", receivers are now required to "establish themselves as a runner".

Make sense?  Eh?  Oh.

54

Beer and Queso / AJWTF?

« on: March 03, 2015, 12:53:31 pm »

AJ's been given leave by the Texans to look for a new team.  Presumably, he wants to go to a contender - which you can't fault considering what he's given the Texans (and how little they've given him) - and those contenders appear to be Seattle, New England, San Diego, Phillie or Carolina.

It'll be weird.

55

Beer and Queso / Panama #1 in "Well-Being"

« on: February 18, 2015, 04:13:00 pm »

According to this global poll.  USA is #12.  UK doesn't feature.  The Top 5 is Panama, Costa Rica, Denmark, Austria and Brazil.

Of course, when Austria starts feeling good about itself, it's time for everyone else to worry.

56

Beer and Queso / Speaking of QBs...

« on: January 14, 2015, 12:22:56 pm »

The surprise guest at my company’s quarterly town hall meeting last week was Ryan Fitzpatrick.  I didn’t get a chance to speak to him directly (he did a signing / photo session after the meeting but it was mobbed with about 300 people), but he did an looong Q&A for well over an hour that was fun, fascinating and incredibly honest.  I will admit to a bit of a man-crush after that event.

Some highlights:

On being benched: he explained that he disagreed “very strongly” with Coach O’Brien’s decision to bench him.  However, he thought about it and decided to go back and take a look at his game film, but also game film of the Patriots when O’Brien was there.  He wanted to learn to be the QB that O’Brien wanted.  He didn’t like to see Mallett go down to injury, but he was delighted to get the chance to come back and show what he’d learned.
   
In case you didn’t know, he’s very, very, very smart, but incredibly personable, affable and funny.

Math skills:  he decided to put his kid on the spot for the famous press conference math question, because he knew he could do it.

Math catch:  He is the neighbor of one of my colleagues (hence his appearance at our meeting, which was at no fee subject to the company making a donation to a designated charity).  After the home games on Sunday, he goes out in the street and plays catch with the neighborhood kids.  However, before he’ll throw a pass, the receiver has to answer correctly a math question.

Man Management: he talked about having to learn each player’s personality and how to relate to them.  He gave us an example of a Texans’ play call – the team uses a shortened code allegedly – and it was just a blizzard of words and numbers.  He says the linemen want to break the huddle as soon as they’ve heard their piece and that he has to repeat the running back’s assignment to them immediately after the huddle because “they’re usually not very smart”.

The Wonderlic Test:  he said he was nervous going in, because it was something on which he’d be judged for the draft.  Said he finished it in about 9 minutes (it’s 50 questions with 12 minutes allowed) and knew he was ok when he looked over and saw some players still on question 10.  He said the rule of thumb for the NFL is that your score needs to be bigger than your shoe size.  In case you didn’t know, he got 50 out of 50.

On Being Drafted:  he went to Harvard to play, but they don’t offer sports scholarships.  It wasn’t until his 2nd year as Harvard’s QB that he started getting calls from agents who thought he’d be drafted.  He absolutely wanted a career in the NFL if it was an option.  He has had to work his way up to the NFL without any of the entitlements of some players (my words, not his).

On dropping 6 TDs on the Titans: he’d been cut by the Titans a year earlier, so that was about as sweet as it could be.  That was the game he brought his son to the press conference.  He felt his oldest son was ready for the full NFL experience, but hadn’t brought him back to the locker room before because he wanted to wait for a home win.  It was coincidence that it was that day, but he took his son back to the locker room and kept him with him for the rest of the post-game niceties.

His leg: has a pin in it that runs the whole length of his tibia.  He is walking on it and expects to be fine for next season.

Coach O’Brien: thinks he’s the best head coach he’s ever played for.  Very prepared but also very humble.  Will take advice but not afraid to make decisions.

57

Beer and Queso / RIP Rod Taylor

« on: January 09, 2015, 04:43:59 pm »

Coming thick and fast this year, it seems.  I loved "The Time Machine", which is way better than the remake.  As we all know from the Star Wars upgrades, better effects does not, alone, make a better movie.

58

Beer and Queso / Cubs Suck, Even as Zombies

« on: December 29, 2014, 02:32:40 pm »

So Mrs Limey and I spent Christmas in Chicago, and we had a great time.  We avoided clichéd tourist traps as much as possible and enjoyed the simplicity of getting around on Chicago's mass transit system.

However, at Midway on the way home, we were faced with a dilemma: drink in Harry Caray's bar, or not drink.  We had seen and avoided a couple of other Harry Caray loser traps over the weekend, but we decided that a drink trumped all other considerations.

Well the drink selection was ok (more than just Bud) and the food was of a standard that's acceptable at an airport but pretty much derisory if you are anywhere else other than a penitentiary.  What was hilarious, though, was that - in keeping with its sports bar theme - it had a plethora of flat screen TVs adorning the walls (that were showing the Packers-Lions game).  Every one was the same make/model, clearly the product of a bulk purchase.  A bulk purchase made in the 1990's.

They were about 10" deep with a screen size of maybe 20", a huge "chin", SD only and with a 4:3 screen ratio.  The latter point being notable here, in that the on screen box score for the game didn't fit into the screen shape so we had no idea of the score / time for much of the game (maybe this is because most Cub fans sit through most games without a clue as to what's actually happening).

Bearing in mind that these could be updated for less than $100 each retail, I just thought it was a perfect metaphor for the team that establishment was celebrating.

59

Beer and Queso / Thank the Maker!

« on: December 17, 2014, 09:19:03 am »

Original (good) Star Wars trilogy to be released on Blu Ray by Disney in its unfucked, original form.  Timing is uncertain, but the intention is for it to be prior to the release of Episode VII.

60

Beer and Queso / Wealthfront

« on: December 08, 2014, 01:33:23 pm »

Has anyone out there tried these "people" or something similar?

61

Beer and Queso / OK, I'll Start...Ebola

« on: October 16, 2014, 09:29:52 am »

I don't what the fuck is going on at Texas Health Presbyterian, but they got totally sideswiped by the first patient, Duncan, and have been reeling ever since.  Nurses have (anonymously - under the threat of dismissal) claimed that highly-infectious medical waste from treating Duncan was piled to the ceiling because there was no way to get it removed safely (an ebola victim at the height of the infection can emit as much as 20 litres of fluid a day).

The nurses treating Duncan, for the first few days at least, just wore regular protection, i.e. a paper mask and gloves that covered only their hands, and were allowed to go and treat other patients right after treating Duncan.  Also, upon being readmitted (having originally been sent home to take Tylenol), Duncan was left out in the open for hours.  Now a 2nd nurse is infected and she took a commercial flight (presumably two, actually) after reporting suffering from a slight fever.

Yesterday, Dallas County's Judge Jenkins said that they expect more cases to come from this.  No shit.

I think you know that I am not someone who is prone to buy into the media's frantic fear-mongering.  They need to panic you with sound bites to get you to tune in to watch the commercials.  "Is there something in your home that's killing your kids right now?  Story at ten."  Ten?  Ten, motherfuckers?  Tell me now!  But this ebola thing has me properly spooked.  Not because we're all going to die an awful death from the virus but because, if we are all going to die an awful death, it's going to be from stupidity*.


* Politicians of all stripes are calling for the cancellation of all flights from West Africa to save us all from Ebola.  Meanwhile, things that might actually save us from Ebola, like approving funding the CDC and other emergency health organisations and maybe, finally, approving someone to be Surgeon General (a job that's been vacant for over a year) are stalled in Congress.  Right now those fuckers are figuring out how to pin this shit on each other, instead of figuring out how to fix this mess.  Awesome.

62

Talk Zone / Magic Numbers

« on: September 12, 2014, 11:39:54 am »

As of today, the magic number for the Astros to finish ahead of the Rangers is 6.

Also, the Rangers need to finish on a +.500 run in order to avoid a 100-loss season.

The thought of them failing to avoid either or both of these ignominies warms my cockles.

63

Beer and Queso / 2014 Ryder Cup

« on: September 02, 2014, 01:53:55 pm »

Europe's lineup is set.  Captain McGinley added Poulter, Gallacher and Westwood to the qualifiers, leaving out Luke Donald.  The full team:

Rory McIlroy (NI)
Henrik Stenson (Swe)
Victor Dubuisson (Fra)
Jamie Donaldson (Wal)
Sergio García (Sp)
Justin Rose (Eng)
Martin Kaymer (Ger)
Thomas Bjorn (Den)
Graeme McDowell (NI)
Ian Poulter (Eng)
Stephen Gallacher (Scot)
Lee Westwood (Eng)

64

Beer and Queso / Houston Approves Uber and Lyft

« on: August 06, 2014, 04:51:40 pm »

I have tried to use Houston's taxi services but, after much perseverance, pretty much have given up.  No-shows for pre-booked rides ended up at about 100%; booking for immediate pick-up was a lottery; drivers rarely knew where they were going (and inexplicably didn't have a Tom Tom or suchlike) and the cars were about 50% nice / 50% someone's home off hours.

Against this backdrop, the City council has approved regulations that open the door to internet-based ride services like Uber and Lyft.

I feel sorry for the few reputable taxi drivers out there, but Houston needs and deserves better than the service it was getting, and maybe this is a step towards getting it.  If it forces all taxi drivers to up their game, it's a good thing.

65

Beer and Queso / Houston Restaurant Weeks

« on: August 01, 2014, 04:08:19 pm »

Expanded and improved, it's back again.  Tonight through Sept 1, you get to enjoy a special, prix fixe menu at some swanky restaurants, and generate money for the Houston Food bank in the process.

I'm kicking off tonight at Étoile, who's dinner menu reads top to bottom fabulous.  I may have to go there more than once.

66

Beer and Queso / Boston

« on: July 06, 2014, 09:32:33 pm »

Heading there in late September.  What's the good area(s) to stay?   

Thanks!

67

Beer and Queso / Rik Mayall Dies, Age 56

« on: June 09, 2014, 01:23:56 pm »

Bizarre.

His funniest TV moments.

68

Beer and Queso / Attention Lawyers

« on: May 28, 2014, 03:47:56 pm »

I have an interest in a settled lawsuit from 2004.  It was appealed and the parties agreed to settle prior to a decision.  What I'm looking for is information from the underlying case.  Is there any way to back-track from the appeal to the original case?  Can I get copies of the publicly available documents (without trawling through a law library)?

Thanks!

FWIW, this is for work.  I am not stalking anyone.

69

Beer and Queso / Real Estate Attorneys

« on: April 29, 2014, 12:05:25 pm »

I bought a condo last year and discovered that there has been some previous water damage resulting in mold.  The seller, in their formal disclosure, stated no water damage.  Seems open and shut to me that I have a case against the seller.  We are thinking of selling and moving on, but we now have to deal with the fact that we know there is water damage.

Any ideas of the available remedies here?  Any recommendations as to an attorney?  PMs or replies here welcome.

FWIW, the damage is behind the kitchen cabinetry, and was only discovered when we pulled the fridge out to have new flooring put down.  The building maintenance crew confirmed that the A/C system had backed up and overflowed while the residence was unoccupied, and that the damage had been extensive.  No abatement effort was made, but they did paint everything...

Thanks in advance.

70

Beer and Queso / Tu Wang Clang

« on: April 17, 2014, 12:56:43 pm »

A rapper affiliated to US group the Wu-Tang Clan has been taken to hospital after apparently severing his penis and then jumping from a second-floor balcony.

WTF?

71

Beer and Queso / Chip and Pin

« on: April 16, 2014, 09:38:50 am »

Finally, coming to America.  Banks are looking at October 2015 as the date by which all cards will have an embedded chip.

In addition to combating card fraud, which is does in spades (it's impossible to clone a chip 'n' pin card) it's way faster to effect a transaction.  Any of you who have been to not-America may have seen the process by which a patron orders the check, and his server simply whips out a card reader and calls it up.  He hands it over, you slide in your card, add your tip, punch in your pin and hit the go button.  The reader then spits out a nicely printed receipt.

Contrast this with the process here.  You ask your server for the check.  They say "Of course" and then disappear for 5 minutes.  Then they swoop by your table and drop the check, and then disappear for 5 minutes.  You put your card in the folder, and wait for them to come and collect it.  This they do, and then they disappear with your card for another 5 minutes - hopefully just processing the transaction, but they could be cloning it and taking a photo of the front and back all on a smart phone!  Then they bring it back, you add the tip and sign and take your copy of the receipt.  You might as well be giving them your card number using smoke signals.

Long overdue!

72

Beer and Queso / Little League Bullshit

« on: April 08, 2014, 11:26:36 am »

I went to watch my Godson play (3rd/4th grade) LL last night.  A fun game in which, hitting lead-off for the "Mariners" (ugh!), he went 3 for 3 with a triple and two runs scored.  Going into the bottom of the 6th, his team was down 16-14, partly due to the opponents scoring an extra run having been given 4 outs in the top of the frame by the umpire.  There was some grumbling from the bleachers about this, but no complaints from the coaching staff and thus the run stood.

So, two to tie, three to win.  With a hit and 2 Ks to start the frame, the Mariners were in trouble.  But then a sharp single and some classic LL fielding under pressure later, they had runners at 2nd and 3rd.  Another single plated two to tie the game and put the batter on 2nd.  Another single scored the runner from 2nd to win the game.

Then the Pirates' (ugh!) coach challenged the winning run.  The kid didn't slide into home, as dictated by the rules when there's a throw incoming, and thus should be ruled out.  The thing is, there had been multiple examples of this during the game, and rarely did the kids remember to slide.  Heat of the moment and all that, and they're kids for fuck's sake.

The douchey coach stood over the umpires as they tried to figure this out.  They sent him away and he retreated reluctantly.  They made the only call they could, and ruled the runner out at the plate.  The game ended in a 16-16 tie.  Douchey ran over to his kids and tried to elicit the same sense of joy from them (sans the erection at that age, I presume) as he was displaying; they simply looked confused.

Meanwhile, the Mariners (UGH!) knew exactly what had happened, and were pissed.  Their coach rallied them for the post-game handshake lineup and played it all with class and grace.  I want to find where the Pirates coach lives, and stop up his sewers.

73

Talk Zone / This Team Makes Me Drink

« on: March 20, 2014, 04:53:04 pm »

Orange tees, limited edition.  You're welcome.

74

Beer and Queso / I Accidentally Caught a the End of the Rockets - Heat Game Yesterday

« on: March 17, 2014, 09:24:04 am »

...and was instantly reminded why I don't watch basketball any more.

The Heat had lost 5 of 6, including their last 2 at home.  Playing in Miami, late in the 4th quarter, the Rockets were up by 6.  The Heat came down, scored a 2, somehow got a freethrow - I'm assuming some kind of technical foul because it didn't appear to be of the "and one" variety - scored that, got to inbounds the ball and scored another bucket.  McHale was going apeshit.

Later, LeBron drove into the lane, planted his palm squarely on Lin's solar plexus, pushed him backwards into Howard (I think) and completely cleaned out the space under the basket before flipping the ball to Ray Allen (I think), who drained an easy, uncontested, jumper.  The Heat won, going away.

Bravo, referees, bravo.  I hope Stern at least gives you replica rings for your part in the Heat's championship repeat.

75

Beer and Queso / Texans = Astros?

« on: March 13, 2014, 08:53:29 am »

They cut OD.  Not happy.  Especially as they are, reportedly, struggling to come to terms with Garrett Graham - who now knows he has them over a barrel.  They're also struggling to get interest from free agents.

Meanwhile, they just sent me a offer to lock-in my season ticket pricing if I guarantee that I will buy my seats for 5 or 10 years.  This makes me wonder what the ambitions are for that time frame.  The optics of this are terrible.  They may be planning on tanking again this year, at least, to garner more high picks.

76

Beer and Queso / Drunk Driver Kills 2 at SXSW

« on: March 13, 2014, 08:45:51 am »

This is awful.  The driver was fleeing a routine traffic stop, fled the wrong way on a one-way street and then drove through barriers closing off a street and into a moped - killing both aboard - pedestrians and other cars.  23 injured, 5 critical.  He then tried to flee and got stun-gunned and arrested.

WTF?

77

Beer and Queso / 3D Blu Ray

« on: March 03, 2014, 04:32:04 pm »

I just took the plunge, and bought a 3D Blu Ray player specifically for "Gravity".  Will let you know how that looks once I've had a chance to fire it up but, in the meantime, anyone else have a 3D set-up and can recommend any other titles?

78

Beer and Queso / E-Gone

« on: February 24, 2014, 12:12:14 pm »

Harold Ramis, dies at age 69.

Besides his acting turns, he was the man with the pen or behind the lens for some of my favourite movies.

Cross the streams.

79

Beer and Queso / Johnny Manziel: Giant Asshat

« on: February 14, 2014, 04:17:00 pm »

Not news, I suppose, but be is talking about the Texans.

80

Beer and Queso / Comcast Buys TimeWarner for $40B

« on: February 13, 2014, 09:23:21 am »

...and with it garner 30+% of the cable market.

I'm sure this will work out well for consumers.

81

Beer and Queso / An NFL Top Draft Prospect Comes Out

« on: February 10, 2014, 09:24:50 am »

Michael Sam announced that he's gay.

Good for him.  Your move Aikman.

82

Beer and Queso / SuperBlow

« on: February 03, 2014, 09:34:47 am »

A good defense beats a good offense, writ large.

Also, I only laughed at one commercial, which was the McD's spot done by the bad lipreading boys.  That may also have been before the game started.

Don't get me wrong.  I enjoyed watching the game, but more as a case study than a sporting spectacle.  The Seahawks were on to everything the Broncos did.  Awesome scouting, coaching, practice and execution.

Regarding practice and execution, see also Mars, Bruno.  Finally an entertaining half-time show, that was about putting on a show and not about ego-tripping over how awesome he was because he's doing the SuperBowl half-time show.  Anyone who didn't, at least, appreciate the showmanship and - for once - actual live singing, is simply trying not to like it.

83

Beer and Queso / Buh-Bye PAT

« on: January 21, 2014, 04:10:24 pm »

I.e. the ol' one-pointer.

Goodell has suggested canning it, in favor of a TD being 7 points, and then teams able to tack on - or lose - a point based on the outcome of a single extra play.

I haven't heard anything quite this stupid in a long time.  A long time.

84

Beer and Queso / Geeks Ahoy?

« on: December 30, 2013, 03:31:45 pm »

RAID question:

If I'm configuring a multi-bay NAS - solely for backup purposes (Time Machine) - any reason why I shouldn't go with RAID 0?

85

Beer and Queso / Texans at Titans

« on: December 24, 2013, 11:37:15 am »

The only thing that can fuck up the Texans pursuit of the #1 draft pick, is if there's an uncharacteristic rush of pride, and they somehow manage to beat the Oilers Titans on Sunday.  Washington (3-12) is the only other team in the running for the pick, and they travel to the Giants where they'll likely lose.  Washington owns the tie-breaker, having had a weaker schedule.

At this point, I cannot see how the Texans can move the ball, let alone put points on the board, with no running backs and Schaub* at QB.  But crazy things happen when you least expect them at the most inconvenient times...


* There is talk that they may start Yates.

86

Talk Zone / Inevitably...

« on: December 20, 2013, 09:28:29 am »

The Puerto Rican Whore signs with the Debbel.  May they rot in hell together.

87

Beer and Queso / WWBBD?

« on: December 19, 2013, 01:53:37 pm »

Come out, shocking no one except the Rooskies, that's what Brian Boitano'd do.

88

Beer and Queso / World Cup Draw Today (11am CST)

« on: December 06, 2013, 09:01:38 am »

Lots of moving parts here, as the FIFA seeding system makes the BCS look like 2+2.  England are in the unseeded European bowl, quite rightly, but, to balance the bowls, FIFA will draw one unseeded Euro team out of that bowl and toss them into the unseeded everyone else bowl.  Originally, that was going to be France, quite rightly with them being the worst-ranked  of the Euros, but at the insistence of the stereotypically French Michel Platini, the decision was changed to make it a random draw.

Thus, it is entirely possible to have a group of, say Brazil, Spain, England and USA.  Regardless, England aren't good enough to get out of whatever group they get (unless it is the hilariously weak one that will counter-balance the multiple groups of death that are possible), and USA will need a good draw also to progress into the knockout stage, I fear.

Engerland!  Engerland!  Engerland!  USA! USA! USA

The Guardian's sarcastically witty and superior minute-by-minute report is here.  While waiting for the balls to drop, you can always have a laugh with their create-your-own draw tool.

89

Beer and Queso / RIP Nelson Mandela

« on: December 05, 2013, 04:25:35 pm »

Amazing man, amazing life.

His wife, on the other hand...

90

Beer and Queso / Texans vs. Jags

« on: November 20, 2013, 03:06:23 pm »

Getting started early, a number of Texans missed practice today, including Watt, Hopkins and Jackson.  On Sunday, seeing Watt wander off the field and Schaub wander on to it prompted me to Facebook my concern that this may be rock bottom for the Texans.

Here's the thing:  beating the Jags should be a foregone conclusion; but losing to them probably puts Kubiak on the street.  Hmmmm...

91

Beer and Queso / Moral Dilemma

« on: November 13, 2013, 12:06:32 pm »

While the Texans recently cut three players for violating the teams substance policy, the Chiefs' Dwayne Bowe was arrested for DUI and possession last Sunday.  Today, they announced that he will play this coming weekend, in a game that is about as pivotal as they come for playoff seeding.  Nice backbone, fellas!

Meanwhile, the Texans' Hopkins tweeted a video of his penis being stroked, deleted it and claimed he was hacked.  NSFW link to the Deadspin story (includes screen cap of the tweet).  If he too receives the all-purpose death sentence from the Texans, they may actually run out of players by the end of the season.

92

Beer and Queso / Texans - Colts

« on: November 03, 2013, 07:47:47 pm »

Keenum announced his presence with authority.

Kubiak is still an idiot.

93

Beer and Queso / RIP Blackberry

« on: September 23, 2013, 04:11:17 pm »

Your demise speeds the day that I can use my iPhone for work email, so you're actually helping me...like fertilizer.

94

Beer and Queso / Texans vs. Cowboys

« on: August 30, 2013, 08:48:00 am »

WOO HOO.   BWAAHAHAHAHAHA.

Etc.

95

Talk Zone / Maybe Next Year

« on: August 29, 2013, 04:32:22 pm »

For what it's worth, the Astros have been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.  Not unsurprisingly, at this stage, they are the only team eliminated.

96

Beer and Queso / Texans-Saints Tickets For Sale

« on: August 23, 2013, 12:48:54 pm »

Sec. 333 (Verizon Club), Row S, Seats 7 & 8.  A Red Zone parking pass included.

Club Level tickets are listed on StubHub for $250 - $300 each.  The above whole set of tix and parking is available to the first PMer for $300 all in.

Great seats, and the Club Level has fantastic food/drinks.  Full bars, craft beer stands, a booth by Underbelly and, of course, food/drink service at your seat.  Red Zone parking is the lot directly north of the stadium and the 3pm kick off allows plenty of time for tailgating.

Tickets can be picked up from Chez Limey in the Galleria anytime up to and including gameday.

97

Talk Zone / Pooholes Done for the Year

« on: August 20, 2013, 09:15:09 am »

Not much else to say here.

98

Talk Zone / Video Replay in 2014

« on: August 15, 2013, 12:12:28 pm »

So says FYB:

Managers will be allowed two challenges over the first six innings of games and one after the seventh inning. Calls that are challenged will be reviewed by a crew in MLB headquarters in New York City, which will make the final ruling.

The owners will vote on the proposal at the November meetings.

99

Beer and Queso / PGA

« on: August 08, 2013, 04:36:15 pm »

Adam Scott's soon-to-be-illegal putter is on fire.  -5 thru 10 before the rains came.

100

Talk Zone / PED-Day

« on: August 05, 2013, 09:20:00 am »

MLB announcement set for noon EST today.  The buzz is still about A-Rod, who seems likely to appeal any suspension.  That will allow him to keep playing while others accept their wrist-slaps and go home for the rest of the season (but be back in time for the playoffs).

101

Talk Zone / Root...Root...Root...

« on: July 31, 2013, 08:59:17 am »

...for the 'Roots?

Can't help but enjoy the ball-stomping the Pirates are putting on the Jakes right now.  The BFiBs must be apoplectic and, with La Genius gone, they have no one to blame!

102

Beer and Queso / Glad We Left All That Nasty Stuff Behind

« on: July 22, 2013, 09:02:08 am »

Someone has codified what makes a sinful city sinful, and then ranked them.  Las Vegas barely breaks the top 10.  In the top 5...Milwaukee and Pittsburgh.  No. 1?  You might be surprised for a second, and then think "Well...yeah...of course.  Makes total sense."

103

Talk Zone / Nation Disturbed by Photos of Bud Selig in ESPN’s Body Issue

« on: July 19, 2013, 01:01:07 pm »

The Onion, of course.

104

Beer and Queso / Sharknado 2: Carcharhinoo Boogaloo

« on: July 17, 2013, 02:23:47 pm »

Yes, they're making a sequel.  and their asking fans for suggestions as to the tagline.

105

Beer and Queso / Quiz Hard

« on: July 16, 2013, 10:02:03 am »

...not.

Here's a silly time-waster: 20 questions about the Die Hard franchise.  I scored 19 out of 20, and it turns out that I'd fat-fingered the one I missed.

106

Beer and Queso / #bleakerendings

« on: July 08, 2013, 12:41:31 pm »

Saw this article, about the subject Twitter hashtag, and thought that the pop culture denizens of SnS can do better.

107

Beer and Queso / Beerfest

« on: June 07, 2013, 03:30:29 pm »

Who's going and any recommendations?  I'm looking forward to trying the offerings from 8th Wonder.

108

Beer and Queso / A/C Contractor

« on: June 07, 2013, 08:48:28 am »

Can anyone recommend a good one?  Thanks

109

Beer and Queso / In Defense of Leaving a Game Early

« on: May 15, 2013, 10:07:02 am »

This is about soccer, but the theme is universal.

When I have mentioned that I'm quite happy to leave a game if my team are getting thrashed I've been accused of disloyalty. In my mind it's actually the people who stay who are doing more damage. Walking out is a form of protest. You are saying to the players that they do not deserve your support.

I am not one to leave a game early under almost any circumstances.  But I do agree with the sentiment that a mass walk out of home fans should be considered a form of protest, even though it mostly isn't.  However, the author, for the most part, seems to be using a bad performance to justify leaving early when leaving early is really just a convenience for him.  That's bullshit.

110

Beer and Queso / Haikus from Mars

« on: May 03, 2013, 08:35:13 am »

NASA is looking for the best 3 "Haikus from Mars" to put on a DVD* and blast it off up there on the next orbital mission.  It's Friday...so have at it!

* A DVD...really?  A fax machine too heavy?

111

Beer and Queso / Grey Lady Down

« on: March 26, 2013, 02:10:23 pm »

County admins and the Rodeo Committee are arguing over how much it'll cost to demolish the 'Dome and put up a parking lot.

Guess that means it's going to go that way.

112

Beer and Queso / Top 5 Cusack Moments

« on: March 15, 2013, 11:33:49 am »

Firstly, surely this should be a "Top 10" list?

Regardless, read and discuss.

113

Beer and Queso / Big Game Saturday

« on: March 13, 2013, 10:17:30 am »

At 11am on Saturday (3/16) BBC America will be showing live coverage of the 2013 Six Nations Rugby decider.  With 4 rounds in the bag, England are a perfect 4-0 and they take on a strong Wales team that sits 3-1 (they lost a squeaker to Ireland).  England are chasing the glory of a Grand Slam while Wales can win the tournament if they beat England by (I believe) 16 points.  Oh, and the game is in Cardiff.

It should be a cracking game.  Well worth tuning in.

114

Beer and Queso / For Hooters Girls, Balls are Always in Play

« on: March 12, 2013, 03:34:34 pm »

Apparently.

(Completely SFW)

115

Beer and Queso / Friday Beer Thread

« on: March 08, 2013, 04:29:30 pm »

Fuck!  Do I need one.

116

Talk Zone / AL Player out for 8-10 Weeks with Wrist Injury

« on: March 07, 2013, 09:49:49 am »

Gee, I wonder if he is one of the Yankees.

117

Beer and Queso / Hugo Chavez Muerto

« on: March 05, 2013, 04:08:10 pm »

...according to a breaking news scroller on the Guardian website.

118

Beer and Queso / Anchorman 2

« on: March 05, 2013, 10:20:54 am »

Looks like the whole original cast is back, plus Kristen Wiig and Harrison Ford.  WTF?

119

Beer and Queso / Anyone Interested in Some Cheap Cruise Tickets?

« on: February 13, 2013, 08:27:41 am »

Actually, I don't have any cruise tickets, have never been on a cruise and, as of now, probably never will.

What a clusterfuck.  It's always possible that a ship will lose power at sea; what's unforgivable is that their rescue plan would be to let it descend into Lord of the Flies meets the Zombie Apocalypse on board the ship.  Carnival's offer of a refund (excluding gift shop purchases - like anyone wants to keep any shit they bought on that boat), and a discount on another cruise is laughable.

There will be an ocean (get it?) of lawyers waiting for that boat when it docks, and the class action lawsuit is going to be a monster.  Add to that the cost of cancelation of subsequent bookings for the "Triumph", and general cancellations of bookings on other boats, and the drop of in future bookings, and this is going to be a huge hit for Carnival.

All because they didn't have a plan, tried to wing it, and tried to do it on the cheap.  They deserve everything they get.

120

Beer and Queso / Texas Lemon Laws

« on: February 09, 2013, 06:30:25 am »

As one of the minority of non-lawyers here, I need some help with Texas Lemon Laws.  Anyone recommend a good firm/attorney?

I have an 18-month old BMW with 16k on the clock.  Late last year, I took it in for service because it was having trouble starting and also running rough at idle.  They replaced the fuel pressure monitor.  The problem persisted, so next time they cleaned the injectors.  Third time back, they changed the battery (yep, I said "WTF?" too).  Same problem.

Last time (#4), I dealt with the service manager because of the layers of rage built up over this saga.  He told me that the injectors have a design flaw, have been redesigned by BMW, but they aren't doing a recall.  They ordered the new-design injectors from Germany and installed them.  That did the trick.  I was pissed off because (1) seriously BMW?  No recall?; and (b) it was a known issue that applies to any model with the same size engine - why so many visits to figure it out?  But, in the end, it was fixed.

Then, last night, luckily just pulling away from outside my house, the engine died.  Just quit.  While we were moving.  I was stranded, blocking the road.  Eventually, it did restart although it was like it was running on 1 or 2 cylinders, but I was able at least to limp it back to the house.

What if that hadn't been on a side street?  What if that had been on a freeway, or in an intersection, or crossing the rail tracks downtown?

I want my money back.

121

Beer and Queso / Capital of Texas ... Houston?

« on: January 31, 2013, 10:18:14 am »

It should be, so says a scribe at Texas Monthly.

Have at it!

122

Beer and Queso / 2012 US Sports' Losers

« on: December 28, 2012, 02:17:23 pm »

Lots to schadenfreude to enjoy here, including some Bobby V smack, references to sporting deities, A-Rod, the Ryder Cup, the replacement refs, Tim Tebow...oh, and a painful but not unmerited comparison to the Astros.

123

Beer and Queso / Andruw Jones Arrested

« on: December 26, 2012, 07:51:31 am »

Charged with battery.

124

Beer and Queso / Neil Cumpston Returns!

« on: December 04, 2012, 09:53:20 am »

For those of you who enjoy such things, Patton Oswalt Neil Cumpston has returned to review "The Avengers" "Iron Man III".

http://www.hitfix.com/blogs/motion-captured/posts/review-neill-cumpston-returns-to-review-the-avengers

First off, Iron Man isn’t even the only superhero in the movie.   There’s like five other heroes – Mr. Hammer, Soldier Man, Leather Spider, Scowly Arrow and Green Ferrigno.  And what’s really cool is that you first get to see them basically beat the shit out of each other for the first hour, and then they beat the shit out of this dude who looks like Zooey Deschanel wearing a magician costume and his army of alien penis-looking-dudes wearing armor and riding these flying space-scooters.  So it’s basically two ass-kicking movies, and anytime there isn’t ass-kicking Sam Jackson comes in and yells at people, which should happen in every movie.

125

Beer and Queso / New Season of SNL

« on: November 12, 2012, 12:50:59 pm »

...has, for the most part, sucked donkey dicks.  This weekend's show was padded with shots of the band playing out to commercial, and I swear they skipped a whole segment.  The previous week, the only funny parts were Louis CK's monologue (his own standup) and a parody of his TV's shows opening with Abe Lincoln.  Otherwise, it's been horrible.

Just goes to show how good Kristen Wiig really is.

126

Beer and Queso / Dynamo

« on: November 01, 2012, 10:53:43 am »

...took out Chicago last night in quite entertaining fashion.  The quality wasn't up to EPL (or perhaps even the top half of the Championship), but it was a delight to see some rough and tumble football again - like it was in my youth - without the ref needing to whistle every time two players came within a foot of each other.  The players helped too, by staying on their feet and not flopping like Karl Fucking (Ringless) Malone.

KC comes to town on Sunday.  I suspect I may just roll from the TV in the bar showing the Texans to the TV in the bar showing the Dynamo.

Fuck Monday.

127

Beer and Queso / EPL on NBC in 2013

« on: October 30, 2012, 10:13:21 am »

Every game available live somewhere on an NBC outlet.  Link.

Now all I need is for Crystal Palace to make it back up (currently sitting 4th in the Championship, unbeaten in 11 games, having just beaten the league leaders on the road last weekend, knocking them off the top).  So far, the lack of a manager doesn't seem to be slowing us down.

128

Talk Zone / How Do I Hate Thee? Let Me Count The Ways...

« on: October 18, 2012, 12:51:44 pm »

Following a suggestion by NeilT in this thread, here is a thread designed to act as a suprepository all of the instances in which the Astros and/or their fans have been fucked by (Fuck You) Bud Selig.  I'll start:

* Forcing move to the AL

* Persuading McLane to be pretty much the only owner to adhere to draft contract signing guidelines, causing multiple draft picks to be wasted on "unsignable" players

* Mandating the roof be open at MMPUS during the 2005 WS

* Refusing to allow the O's Bros to set up during the 2005 WS

* Moving the Ike-impacted home game with the Cubs to "Chicago-North", forcing the players to leave their families at a time of crisis and gifting that asshat Zambrano a no-hitter (oh, and lining his own daughter's pockets in the process)

* Initiating inter-league play and thus spawning the ridiculous Silver Boot competition with the Rangers, which was then used to propagate the false notion of a rivalry between the teams, which was then used (in part) as a justification for the move to the AL


More...?

129

Beer and Queso / How Many Poles Does it Take to Close a Roof?

« on: October 16, 2012, 02:12:28 pm »

I have no idea because, despite having one on the stadium in Warsaw, and despite an unequivocal forecast for rain, the Poles haven't closed theirs.  The problem, you see, is that it's raining, and apparently they can't close it when it's raining.

Is Selig a Polish name?

130

Beer and Queso / Cleveland Browns Sold

« on: October 16, 2012, 11:38:25 am »

...for one beeeelion dollars.  Unanimously approved by all 32 NFL team owners.  Despite their 1-5 record, there was no attempt to get the team to move to the NHL.

131

Beer and Queso / Most Sophisticated Doping Program Ever

« on: October 11, 2012, 09:55:52 am »

Courtesy of Lance Armstrong.

A devastating report into years of drug taking at Lance Armstrong's United States Postal Service team described the squad as running "the most sophisticated, professionalised and successful doping programme that sport has ever seen". The 1,000-page report from the US Anti-Doping Agency sets out its case against Armstrong with damning clarity, depicting the former cycling hero, US national icon and cancer-campaigning champion as a bully who coerced his team-mates into using drugs and a cheat who paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for doping programmes.

Looks like, as usual, The Onion nailed it (back in August 2010):

DALLAS—Saying that it would probably be best if everyone sat down for this, seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong informed the U.S. populace Thursday that he wanted to tell it something, but that the nation first had to promise it wouldn't get angry once he did.

132

Beer and Queso / Texans on MNF

« on: October 08, 2012, 10:18:55 am »

I am starting to get nervous about this one.  The Texans are rolling.  Meanwhile, the Jets just lost their star receiver, are already without their top cornerback, have multiple injury issues up and down the roster, have a mis-firing QB and just got pounded at home.

It's a perfect snap and hold by Lucy...

133

Talk Zone / Rangers Lose

« on: October 04, 2012, 10:35:04 am »

Only make the playoffs because of the 2nd WC slot added this year.

Fuck them.

134

Beer and Queso / Ryder Cup 2012

« on: September 28, 2012, 11:08:24 am »

Monster fight back by Furyk and Snedeker to claw back the Macs' 3-hole lead.  They were 3-down with 7 to play but are now all square on the 17th tee.

It was all-Euro early on, but the US has posted the first point of the tournament and are projecting out to win the morning foursomes 2 1/2 to 1 1/2.

Game on!

135

Beer and Queso / Best Way to Get to Plano from Houston

« on: September 28, 2012, 09:54:27 am »

Heading up 45, do I take the 20/635 Loop or just hack through the centre of town, 45 to 75?

Leaving Houston at about 1pm, so I'll be hitting Dallas right around rush hour.

136

Beer and Queso / The Red Sox Suck Shit This Year And I Hate All My Players'

« on: September 21, 2012, 03:51:19 pm »

 - Bobby Valentine.

OK...it's The Onion.

137

Beer and Queso / Friday Alcohol-Fuelled Thread

« on: September 21, 2012, 03:19:46 pm »

Trick the Bridesmaid
 - a Bad Lip Reading of Barack Obama


I'm not sure when I'm going to stop laughing.

138

Beer and Queso / Friday Beer Thread

« on: September 07, 2012, 03:16:43 pm »

Hennepin Saison is a very, very tasty drop of beer.  Light enough for the summer but robust and flavourful enough for a beer drinker.

Also, next week, I shall be mostly drinking in English pubs...in England.

139

Talk Zone / Astros vs. Reds Series Preview

« on: August 31, 2012, 02:21:40 pm »

Posted

140

Beer and Queso / Scruffy Neighbour

« on: August 10, 2012, 10:24:04 am »

My neighbour's house is rented to a horror show of a woman.  She is just a mess, and has turned her residence into a disaster area (it did not have far to go).  The front step is obliterated with months of papers and flyers, and the front yard has been allowed to return to the wild.  The back of the house is worse, and there's at least one room which is left open to the elements.

I have no idea how this woman lives like she does, but that's no my concern.  What is my concern is that I am trying to sell my house, and this pile of shit next door is cock-blocking me.  It will get torn down eventually, but I am not in the mood to wait and I have yet to find a buyer who is.  Feedback on my house is that everyone absolutely loves it.  LOVES it.  But they hate "the street".

So, my question is:  what the fuck can I do about this?  This is in the City of Houston, so there is no HOA to turn to.  Do I have any options?

141

Beer and Queso / Cockneys vs. Zombies

« on: August 09, 2012, 09:52:00 am »

Awesomeness, but definitely NSFW.

142

Beer and Queso / Heavy Metal Weaponised

« on: July 27, 2012, 10:38:44 am »

It was only a matter of time:

Iran Nuclear Plants Hit By Virus Playing AC/DC

143

Talk Zone / Chronicle Decoder Ring Needed

« on: July 10, 2012, 09:26:29 am »

I'm not sure what this article is about, except for some always welcome Cub-bashing.  I don't think Houston fans are staying away because of pride and/or to make a statement about losing; they are staying away because the team is losing and they don't care.

I'm staying away because MLB shit all over the Astros (with the complicity of the outgoing and incoming ownership) and I refuse any longer to support that endeavour with my consumer dollars.  The sad thing is that a team of young players fighting for their spot every night can be fun to watch.

144

Beer and Queso / I Don't Like Mark Cuban Either. But...

« on: June 28, 2012, 12:05:45 pm »

...here he destroys an ESPN fuckwit.  More of this would have me actually tuning in to that Godforsaken channel*.

* Euros notwithstanding.

145

Beer and Queso / Euro 2012

« on: June 13, 2012, 01:33:03 pm »

I've refrained from starting a thread on this, but can no longer stop myself.  Germany vs. Holland is about to start.  Take the most heated sports rivalry you can think of, and then multiply it by centuries of actual war, occupation and death.

Fitting then, that this is Group B: the Group of Death (as opposed to Group A, known as the Group of Dearth).  Comically, if Holland win 1-0, all 4 teams will have 3 points and a goal difference of 0.  But that's irrelevant for now, because these two team hate each other with a passion that cannot be put into words.

Holland are fighting to stay in the tournament in this game.  Watch this one if you can, folks (ESPN 1), or follow the always pithy Guardian minute-by-minute report to read of the shenanigans.

146

Beer and Queso / Deadfellas

« on: June 13, 2012, 10:34:20 am »

Henry Hill, dead at 69.

147

Beer and Queso / More Tech Help: Styles in MS Word

« on: May 10, 2012, 09:44:11 am »

I have a long document with numbered styles for Heading 1 and Heading 2, the latter being subordinate to the former.  Word does not restart the numbering of Heading 2 after a Heading 1 (an option that used to exist but has been moved or disappeared), so now I have to manually restart the numbering of both Heading 1 (when starting a new section) and Heading 2 (after a new Heading 1).

The problem is, whenever I reset the numbering, Word resets the style format to its default, and not to my modified format.  It drives me fucking nuts.

Any ideas?

(FYI, I need to use styles so that the headings are picked up in the index.  I need to use automatically numbered headings because the document is a work in progress and so many things will be moved, added or deleted...and it's supposed to work for fuck's sake).

148

Beer and Queso / End of the Fight for the Right to Party

« on: May 04, 2012, 04:01:24 pm »

Adam Yauch dead at 47.

149

Beer and Queso / Drive-By Fruiting

« on: May 02, 2012, 08:24:20 am »

Some asshole shot up the Apple store amongst others in Highland Village last night.

Seriously...WTF?

150

Beer and Queso / Beetlejuice

« on: April 30, 2012, 11:26:45 am »

For those who missed it, perhaps in the furore over pink slime in our ground beef, Starbucks (amongst others) got busted for using a beetle-derived food colouring to make their strawberry frappuccinos look more red.  They've now announced that they're dropping the beetle juice in favour of a tomato-based food colouring.

As usual, The Onion nails it:

It's a shame they can't just make a strawberry Frappuccino out of some kind of naturally red fruit.

151

Beer and Queso / Tebow > Campbell

« on: April 24, 2012, 01:30:28 pm »

The NFL Network rates Tim Tebow above Earl Campbell on top 10 list of Heisman winners.

Even I know that's bullshit.

152

Beer and Queso / New Season of "Arrested Development"

« on: April 20, 2012, 09:38:40 am »

...to be released all at once via Netflix.

153

Beer and Queso / Texans Schedule 2012

« on: April 18, 2012, 02:14:22 pm »

Got the schedule via email today.

SNF hosting the Packers on 10/14 plus two MNF games (both on the road at the Jets and Pats) and the T/G game in Detroit.  Going to get some more exposure this year as a reward for last, it seems.

Bye week right in the middle (nice).  Two of the last 3 games are against the Colts (hopefully they won't shit the bed in Indy this year).

154

Talk Zone / Attendance Record

« on: April 10, 2012, 10:07:57 am »

Astros set a new franchise low for MMPUS on Sunday: 14,195.  Previous low was 18k against the Reds in 2003 - they got less than that last night.

I've said it before: by the time 2013 and the AL rolls around, $70mm will be nowhere near enough.


ETA:  That's paid attendance.  I'm guessing AISes was way lower than that.

155

Beer and Queso / Houston and its Astros Get Some Props

« on: April 09, 2012, 09:11:24 am »

Saturday, Houston was the first city to hold a municipally-sanctioned parade in honour of homecoming Iraqi vets.  Other such events have been held sparsely around the country, but Houston's is the first one initiated and organised by the city itself, instead of being grass roots.  The Astros got whiff, got involved and the parade ended on the field at MMPUS ahead of the game Saturday night.

Mayor Annise Parker gets interviewed here about the event.

[WARNING FOR SOCIAL CONSERVATIVES:  The above linked clip is from Rachel Maddow's show, and contains scenes of unedited, commie-pinko-lesbo-girl on on commie-pinko-lesbo-girl action, while they talk about their mutual support and admiration for America's veterans.  You may need a tissue to wipe up the mess from your head exploding]

156

Beer and Queso / Ron Burgundy Has an Urgent and Horrifying Newsflash

« on: March 29, 2012, 12:54:08 pm »

Conan O'Brian looks like someone stuck a bright orange fright wig on a skeleton, and chucked it out of a helicopter.

He also has another announcement.

157

Talk Zone / Drop that Tailgate

« on: March 20, 2012, 05:39:42 pm »

No, Bud doesn't have another one for you.  The City is looking at allowing tailgating at the the Dynamo, Rockets and Astros.

158

Beer and Queso / Electronics on Planes - Alec Baldwin Edition

« on: March 19, 2012, 03:00:58 pm »

Some airlines are replacing pilot's weighty "flight bags" - full of maps and manuals and the like - with iPads.  They will be allowed to have them on throughout the duration of the flight, and the FAA is ok with this.  So, about that whole "you have to turn that off or we'll all die" thingy..?

The game may be up on.

When I called the F.A.A. last week to pester them about this regulation — citing experts and research that says these devices could not harm a plane — the F.A.A. responded differently than it usually does. Laura J. Brown, deputy assistant administrator for public affairs for the F.A.A., said that the agency has decided to take a “fresh look” at the use of personal electronics on planes.

In a nutshell - it'll take them forever to individually test every available tablet with every available aircraft model - but they're going to do it.  Your cell phone, though, stays off*.


*  Good.  Because I don't want to have to listen to some arrogant fuck or teenager yammering on for the whole flight.

159

Beer and Queso / AL Wins

« on: March 02, 2012, 10:04:59 am »

Much to my dismay, I think the AL takes this contest for hottest WAGS.

In different, but related, news:  I fucking hate Derek Jeter.

I other different, but related news:  we may now know why Ryan Braun's blood was raging with 50x the normal level of testosterone.

160

Beer and Queso / YouTube Turns 7 Today

« on: February 14, 2012, 09:31:24 am »

Amazing.

I can't even remember back before it existed.  When I discovered it, I assumed it had been around forever, and I'd only just found out.

161

Talk Zone / Josh Hamilton Back on the Bottle

« on: February 03, 2012, 01:56:42 pm »

No joke.  Sad.

162

Beer and Queso / D&Q Mini Mart and Open Container Laws

« on: February 03, 2012, 01:50:25 pm »

gleach clued me in to the D&Q on Richmond.  I was planning a shopping trip down there tonight, but I have a question:  what's the treatment of growlers as far as open container laws are concerned?

Can I carry them in the car, or do they have to go in the trunk?

Thanks.

163

Talk Zone / Qualls a Phillie

« on: February 01, 2012, 10:33:25 am »

For 1 year, for $1.15 meellion.

164

Talk Zone / Mets hope to shed Madoff taint

« on: January 24, 2012, 10:11:05 am »

Hehehe.  He said "taint".

NEW YORK -- With spring training just weeks away, nobody's working harder to prepare for the New York Mets' future than their lawyers.  A March trial may decide how much the team owners' disastrous investment in the fraudulent business of imprisoned financier Bernard Madoff will cost the club.  "It's going to garner tons of attention and comes at a horrible time for the Mets. It's not a great way to start the season," said Neal H. Levin, who heads the fraud team at the Chicago law firm Freeborn & Peters and is not involved in the case.

165

Beer and Queso / Etta James

« on: January 20, 2012, 11:20:01 am »

RIP

166

Beer and Queso / Texas Formal

« on: January 18, 2012, 11:38:50 am »

Anyone have an earthly clue as to what attire is appropriate to fit this dress code?

167

Beer and Queso / Say Goodbye to Twinkie

« on: January 11, 2012, 12:07:07 pm »

No, not Lance Jakeman, the actual Twinkie with which he will be forever linked.  Hostess files for bankruptcy.  Apparently, the market for cellophane-wrapped heart attacks has shrunk in recent years.

168

Beer and Queso / Most Limey App Ever?

« on: January 10, 2012, 10:10:37 am »

Tabbed Out!!

A colleague of mine used this last night, and said it worked exactly as advertised.  He got real time updates on his tab as it was running and, as soon as he was ready to pay his check, he just called it up on his phone, moved the slider to the appropriate tip, and tabbed out.  He got a fully itemised bill emailed to him before he hit the parking lot.

I really hope this takes off.  Who here hasn't been irritated at how long it takes to close a tab, or how long it takes to get a drink while the bartender is closing tabs?

169

Beer and Queso / Should I Pick Up My Texans Ticket...

« on: January 06, 2012, 04:49:45 pm »

...tonight or tomorrow morning?

Thanks

170

Talk Zone / News from the Other League

« on: January 05, 2012, 12:15:59 pm »

The Cubs have traded world-class asshat Zambrano to the Marlins.

Guillen and Zambrano...what could go wrong?

171

Beer and Queso / Hampy Would Be Proud

« on: December 21, 2011, 03:22:54 pm »

This happened tonight in Amsterdam.  With Ajax playing AZ, a fan ran onto the pitch to attack the AZ goalie.  Well, the goalie went “Big Chris” on the fan and got sent off for his trouble.  The AZ team walked off in protest and the match was abandoned.

172

Beer and Queso / Scientists Prove the Existence of "The Force"

« on: December 13, 2011, 11:35:56 am »

Just this morning, in fact.  In the act of glimpsing a Higgs boson particle, scientists have proven the existence of the "Higgs field":

An invisible energy field fills the vacuum of space throughout the universe. When some particles move through the field they feel drag and gain weight as a result. Others, such as particles of light, or photons, feel no drag at all and remain massless.  It surrounds us and penetrates us...it binds the universe together.

173

Talk Zone / All-Time Astros Team Getting Updated

« on: December 02, 2011, 03:32:05 pm »

...in honour of the move to the AL 50th Anniversary.  So says Fuckhouse.

The last iteration of the All-Time team was for the final 'Dome season of 1999.  Not many candidates for new additions as far as I can see.  Alyson mentions only Philswalt and Jakeman.  There have been some other good players, but none that were here long enough to count.  Does Wandy even have a shot?

174

Talk Zone / Seattle Mariners outfielder Greg Halman stabbed to death in Rotterdam

« on: November 21, 2011, 09:13:31 am »

WTF

175

Beer and Queso / Robert Wagner "Reverse Mortgaged" Natalie Woods?

« on: November 18, 2011, 10:10:59 am »

The yacht captain (no, not Steinbrenner) says so...ish.

176

Talk Zone / Crane Presser at 3:30pm CST from MMPUS

« on: November 17, 2011, 01:48:51 pm »

Bring tomatoes.  Old ones.

177

Beer and Queso / Occupy Wall Street is a Great Demonstration...

« on: November 09, 2011, 09:26:41 am »

...for me to poop on.

Better than the Phantom Menace premiere?  Too close to call.

178

Beer and Queso / Are You Shitting Me?

« on: October 21, 2011, 10:17:52 am »

Bank of America wants to move $75 trillion...yes, Trillion...of it's shitty derivatives out of Merrill Lynch and into a subsidiary that's supported by insured deposits.  Thus, if those derivatives fail to the extent it takes down that subsidiary, the insurer will make good on the account holders' deposits.

The wrinkle here is that the insurer is you and I.  They're FDIC-insured deposits.  W...T...F?!!

179

Beer and Queso / Free Whisky!

« on: October 14, 2011, 10:41:28 am »

I'm serious.  It's a Chivas promotional gig, whereby they have taken part of Stanford Financial's old offices, turned it into a very credible replica of a private club, and they give you free Civas-based drinks and nibbles (and cigars).  I went to one of their events last night and it was a lot of fun.

Oh, and it's all entirely free.

They have events all through October - three or four a week - then they pack it all up and move to the next location.  Sign up through their website and you are in!!

180

Beer and Queso / Steve Jobs...Godfather to the Internet?

« on: October 06, 2011, 03:13:34 pm »

To save it being lost in another thread, I thought I'd pull out this nugget from the coverage of Jobs today, regarding his collaboration with Stephen Wolfram:

Jobs and Wolfram continued their relationship, with Mathematica eventually being included with every NeXT computer, several of which made their way to Switzerland where Tim Berners-Lee used them to develop and launch the World Wide Web.

181

Beer and Queso / New iPhone Today

« on: October 04, 2011, 10:22:26 am »

Dog 'n' pony show kicks off at noon CDT.  Opinion is still split as to whether we'll see an iPhone 5 or an iPhone 4S, with the difference being a redesigned form or simply upgraded internals.  The A5 chip from the iPad 2 is almost a certainty, which will make the iPhone blazingly fast by comparison with the 4 and older models - particularly for graphics.  The first 64GB model is also expected.

The new operating system, iOS5 has been extensively showcased by Apple already - especially the iCloud service.  The "one more thing" expected is an "Assistant", which is the long-awaited integration of the technology acquired by Apple when they swallowed up Siri - whose current assistant app remains on the App Store for now.  Basically, it is supposedly going to allow you to converse with your phone a la Star Trek (FTR, this is not an official Apple demo, but a guess as to functionality by an Apple geek).  I say this is long-awaited, because the Siri app had certain conversational ability, and Apple snaffled up the company in 2010.  Here's hoping that, from the inside of the beast, the Siri guys have got this technology right.

Apple are expected to continue to offer the iPhone 4 at discounted prices, and some even expect that an 8GB 3GS will be available as a free unit from some carriers.  My 3GS is getting very long in the bluetooth.  I'm hoping that they have, at least, cured the death grip problem with the 4, so that I can get a new one when they come out on the expected release date of the 14th.

182

Beer and Queso / Rugby World Cup

« on: September 28, 2011, 09:35:49 am »

In case anyone's interested, the Rugby World Cup is into the final round of games in the pool stage, basically meaning it's the first round of knockout play.

Pool A has New Zealand and France - not unsurprisingly - standing 1st and 2nd ahead of Canada, Tonga and Japan (the last of whom is already eliminated).  For that situation to change, New Zealand would have to lose to Canada by more than about 50 points (the scoring system is very similar to your football) which, frankly, isn't going to happen.  New Zealand are the favourites for the tournament.

Pool A matches up with Pool B in the next round - the respective pool winners playing the other pool's runner-up.  Pool B is topped by England, ahead of Argentina and Scotland, with Georgia and Romania already mathematically eliminated.  In the final round of matches, England need only a bonus point* against Scotland to secure the top spot.  Scotland need to better Argentina's result against Georgia to qualify, which is a tough ask.  If England lose without gaining a bonus point, then they can be leapfrogged by both Scotland and Argentina.  Winning the group is a real boon as it means avoiding NZ in the next round.

* The point system is thus:  4 points win; 2 points draw; 0 points loss; plus bonus points as follows: 1 point for scoring 4 or more tries and/or 1 point for losing by less than 7 points.

Pool C was made very interesting by Ireland's early, shock defeat of Australia.  The Irish lead the group ahead of the Aussies, who are tied with Italy.  USA and Russia are both already eliminated.  Australia has a lay-up against Russia, while Ireland has Italy.  The boys in green will need a win and most likely a bonus point from this match to retain the top spot, as Australia will almost certainly bag maximum points from their game.

Pool D is much like Pool B.  Undefeated South Africa top the group, but the existence of two very weak teams means that they have not worked their way clear of Wales and Samoa who can both jump over them to qualify for the next round.  Samoa plays SA in the final match of the pool, so they have their destiny in their hands - a big win puts them in.  Wales also go through if Samoa executes its job - to the cost of SA, or to the cost of Samoa if they don't.

Simple eh?

The games are all at ridiculous times of the night, so don't even worry about watching them anywhere.  Follow the action, and watch game highlights, at the official site.

183

Beer and Queso / Is Uranus Blazingly Bright?

« on: September 26, 2011, 04:55:06 pm »

You bet it is.

184

Beer and Queso / Fonzie OBE

« on: September 15, 2011, 10:15:30 am »

I'm not kidding.

Seriously, well deserved.

185

Beer and Queso / David Thorn is My Hero

« on: August 26, 2011, 12:11:02 pm »

Office prankster extraordinaire.

Don't miss checking the detail link to the Bieber prank at the end of the article.

186

Beer and Queso / Your Life in Steve Jobs' Hands

« on: August 23, 2011, 10:46:00 am »

United Airlines to scrap paper charts and manuals, replacing them with iPads.

187

Talk Zone / Astros vs. Giants Series Preview

« on: August 19, 2011, 04:10:01 pm »

Published here - with apologies to anyone who is offended.  Which should be pretty much everyone.

188

Beer and Queso / London's Burning

« on: August 08, 2011, 04:11:46 pm »

Literally.

189

Beer and Queso / "The Worst Gig We Ever Played"

« on: August 05, 2011, 09:35:11 am »

Interesting stories.  Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull can't decide whether it was worse having piss poured on him at Shea Stadium or being hit in the larynx with a baseball in Phillie.  I also enjoyed reading that bands used to get danger money to play in Scotland...

We were in this brand new room with parquet flooring, and this fight broke out. I'd never seen anything like it – 1,500 people, everybody punching everyone else: men punching men, men punching women, women punching men, women punching women … it was like the Wild West.

From The Guardian.

190

Beer and Queso / Fucking Office 2007!!

« on: July 22, 2011, 03:06:51 pm »

Anyone got any ideas here?

I have a presentation document, in which I want to include a few columned lists.  To do this in Word, I select the text, and set how many columns I want.  It's very simple, and much better than using tables as it automatically optimises the length of each column.  But...

The list has continuous section breaks around it, which is fine, except that they fuck with my page numbering.  Word resets the subsequent page number to 1 and, when I format it to carry on from the previous section, Word mocks me by changing it to 2, regardless of the prior page number.

Anyone got any ideas?  I don't want to force page numbers, because I have to send the Word doc to my client - instead of a pdf which is my preference - so I want this thing as slick and automated as possible.

TIA.

191

Talk Zone / Clemens Plans to Use the Col. Jessup Defense

« on: July 12, 2011, 12:08:47 pm »

Apparently, his lawyers plan to challenge the validity of the Congressional hearings as the opening gambit.  Arrogant is as arrogant does.  Valid or not, it doesn't absolve him from his oath to not lie.

192

Beer and Queso / Google+

« on: July 11, 2011, 01:55:29 pm »

Any of you nerds on it?  Thoughts?

193

Beer and Queso / Women's World Cup

« on: July 10, 2011, 12:13:05 pm »

Officiating just as bent as the men's competition.  USA getting hosed by the refs. 

194

Talk Zone / Astros at Pirates Series "Preview" Posted

« on: July 05, 2011, 11:59:59 am »

Better late than never

Read it here.

195

Beer and Queso / Pick al Qaida's New Name

« on: June 28, 2011, 01:29:35 pm »

Based on papers found in Osama's hideaway, he didn't like the name "al Qaida" for his band of unmerry men, and had been musing on a change.  Well, as he's not musing anything any more, the folks in the Danger Room at wired.com decided to finish the job he started, and opened a site for people to submit alternative names.

Be honest; "Sandy Vagaida" was one of you lot, right?

196

Talk Zone / The Dodgers File for Bankruptcy

« on: June 27, 2011, 04:15:00 pm »

The Debt Trolley Dodgers file for Chapter 11 protection.

197

Beer and Queso / I Take No Joy In This

« on: June 21, 2011, 02:53:48 pm »

Wait...joy is pleasure, right?  OK, then I do take joy in this.  Lots of it.

198

Beer and Queso / CONCACAF Gold Cup

« on: June 14, 2011, 12:50:17 pm »

The US national team plays tiny Guadaloupe in the last match of their qualifying group.  Ahead of Canada on goal difference only (plus the tie-breaker of the head-to-head win), the US needs to better Canada's result (against undefeated Panama) in order to be certain of going through as at least the group runner-up.  Such a finish will put the US into a quarterfinal match against a strong Jamaican team.

It is still possible for the US to win the group (same goes for Canada).  They trail Panama by 1 win and 1 goal, so a small Canadian win and a US win puts the US on top.  The nature of the goal difference situation (Panama +2, US +1, Canada -1) means that, for Canada to qualify they have to beat Panama by 3 goals, which at the same time would likely propel them over the US too to the top of the group.

2 of the 3 third-place finishers get into the quarterfinals too, so there is always that last-gasp option.  A heavy defeat by Guadaloupe could see the US bum out.  Non group winners get tougher quarterfinal match-ups than group winners, so there is a real boon to topping a group.  The good news is that the Canada-Panama match will be played out prior to the US' game, so they will know what they need to do (an advantage so unfair that even FIFA avoids it in the World Cup).

US match kicks off tonight at 8pm CDT, carried (I believe) live on the Fox Soccer Channel.

199

Beer and Queso / Mr Bean...

« on: June 08, 2011, 05:00:50 pm »

...has nothing on this guy!

200

Talk Zone / The (New) British are Coming!

« on: June 07, 2011, 09:29:56 am »

No, nothing to do with Palin's latest history-gorvelling brain fart, but actually word of the Astros 11th overall draft pick: New Britain native George Springer.

201

Talk Zone / Astros Spamming Facebook for All Star Votes

« on: June 02, 2011, 03:44:25 pm »

Yes, Hunter Pence deserves to be an All-Star and yes, you should vote for him right now on astros.com. Hunter is 8th in the NL with a .317 average and T-4th in all MLB with 43 RBIs. Come on fans, lets at least get him in the top 15 vote getters among NL outfielders!

Anyone here voting for the Astros en block, or (like me) selectively?  Basically, Michael Bourn.

202

Game Zone 2011 Archive / 6/1 Astros at Cubs - At the End of the Hall?

« on: June 01, 2011, 11:04:25 am »

Today's lineup, per Footer:

CF Bourn
SS Barmes
RF Pence
1B Lee
2B Keppinger
LF Michaels
3B Johnson
"C" Towles
"P" Myers

203

Beer and Queso / Kenickie Knacked

« on: May 27, 2011, 08:15:25 pm »

Actor Jeff Conaway dies at age 60.  

204

Game Zone 2011 Archive / Astros at DBacks - May 27

« on: May 27, 2011, 02:42:54 pm »

Kepp straight back into the lineup:

CF Bourn
2B Keppinger
RF Pence
LE Lee
1B Wallace
3B Johnson
SS Barmes
C   Quintero
P   Myers

205

Talk Zone / Finks and Einhorn

« on: May 26, 2011, 02:23:07 pm »

Mets' owners sell a minority share to David Einhorn for $200mm.

206

Talk Zone / Player Walk-Up Music

« on: May 26, 2011, 09:45:02 am »

Alyson gives us the list.

What stands out to me are:

Hunter Pence:     Before I Forget by Slipknot; Coming Undone by Korn

J.R. Towles:         Down in Flames by Stoney LaRue


Seriously guys...?

207

Talk Zone / Overpriced Fake Food? There's an App for That

« on: May 25, 2011, 11:37:25 am »

As explained and demonstrated by Footer, the excellent MLB At-Bat app now allows you to order your food at MMPUS directly from your iPhone, and pick it up once alerted to its readiness at special At-Bat express lanes.

Paying $8 for a $1 hot dog will be less annoying if you don't have to line up for the privilege.  Of course, the 99 cent fee means that your $1 hot dog will cost you $9, but who's counting?

208

Talk Zone / Bourn's Slide

« on: May 24, 2011, 11:43:08 am »

Last night, SBB executed a nifty slide around behind the Dodger's catcher (don't give a fuck what his name is) to slap the plate and score the winning run.  Thing is, the no-name catcher had the entire plate blocked, plus a bit of the outside, way before he got the ball.  SBB beat the ball to the dish, but still had to run around the catcher to score the run.

So...I thought catchers (or any defender) weren't allowed to impede the runner unless they had the ball in an attempt to make a tag.  What happens in the circumstance if Bourn simply ploughs through the catcher?  Is that interference on the catcher?  On Bourn?

Just curious.

ETA video link, and also to say that the Ump had me very worried with his hand gestures there.  I thought he was going to call Bourn out for a good moment or two.

209

Beer and Queso / Twitter, the Houses of Parliament and an Athlete's Hubris

« on: May 23, 2011, 05:05:55 pm »

Here's an interesting story:  a professional athlete had an extra-marital affair with a beauty queen / model.  Now, before your eyes glaze over through jaded boredom, let me thrown in to the mix that the athlete in question got a super-injunction in the UK High Court, and then tried to get the names of the 75,000 people who had tweeted or retweeted the story.

It remains to be seen whether such an information grab will be allowed by the California courts currently chewing on the subpoena.  In the meantime, most people knew that it was (formerly squeeky-clean family man) Ryan Giggs of Manchester Utd, because it was tweeted by nearly 100,000 people.  Presumably the story would've ended there because everyone else seemed uninterested.  But then the super-injuction and follow-up information over-reach got everyone's attention because it's an delightful spin on an otherwise mundane topic.

I, and certain MPs it seems, like it when arrogant people make asses of themselves.  Especially when they're at the bottom of the hole and keep digging.

Meanwhile, Giggs' teammates have to gear up for their biggest (and last) game of the year: the Champions League Final against the fabled (and favoured) FC Barcelona.  What a douche!  Serves him right for picking Wales over England as his nationality.  He got fucked by Miss Wales in all senses of the word.

210

Talk Zone / Dodgers at Astros Series Preview Posted

« on: May 23, 2011, 02:56:59 pm »

My third second preview of the year.  Enyoy.

Link

211

Talk Zone / Watch with Footer

« on: May 18, 2011, 01:57:42 pm »

Astros watch party at Lucky's Pub tonight, per Alyson's Fucknotes.

We’ll be at Lucky’s Pub tonight (Wednesday) at 7:15 p.m. CT to watch the Astros play the Cardinals, and to lure you to our little shindig, we’re offering really cheap food and some tempting drink specials:

* Half price appetizers to anyone wearing Astros gear
* Cheap beer! $.50 Small Domestic Drafts all night; also, $2 Smitchers, $4 24-oz Tecate, Dos XX and Mexican beers; and, $2.50 Import Cans.

Point of order: can anyone tell me WTF a "smitcher" is?

212

Talk Zone / The Best and Worst Bobbleheads of 2011

« on: May 12, 2011, 04:39:28 pm »

June 11:  JD & Brownie.  Awesome

Sept 3:  Carlos Lee.  WTF?  Is he going to contract dysentery between now and then?

213

Beer and Queso / Bud Selig May be a Shitty Commissioner but...

« on: May 10, 2011, 01:25:11 pm »

at least he's never, to my knowledge, demanded a knighthood.

214

Talk Zone / La Russa Leaves Cards...

« on: May 10, 2011, 10:26:31 am »

...for eye treatment.  He needs to learn to close his eyes when receiving a first baseman money shot..

215

Talk Zone / Footer on "Skinny" Puma

« on: April 26, 2011, 01:39:19 pm »

F-House gives us her thoughts on why Berkman did what he did for the Jakes, and not for the Astros.

Berkman needed to find a new team, and the Cardinals came calling. They wanted him, but they wanted him as an outfielder — a position Berkman hadn’t played regularly since he was 28 years old. Seven years and several knee surgeries later, Berkman surely knew he was going to have to do something extra if this was going to work. Being in playing shape to be an outfielder is a lot different than being in playing shape to be a first baseman.

216

Game Zone 2011 Archive / 4/19/2011: Astros at Mets

« on: April 19, 2011, 03:47:46 pm »

Lineup:

CF Bourn
SS Sanchez
RF Pence
LF Lee
3B Johnson
2B Hall
1B Wallace
C  Towles
P  Rodriguez

217

Talk Zone / Recap Correction

« on: April 15, 2011, 08:57:35 am »

Just for the record, in the 8th, Patterson was thrown out at home on a nice play by Wallace.  Not stranded.

218

Game Zone 2011 Archive / 04/14/2011: Astros vs. Padres

« on: April 14, 2011, 03:33:24 pm »

Astros lineup:

CF  Bourn
SS Sanchez
RF Pence
LF Lee
1B Wallance
2B Hall
3B Downs
C   Quintero
P   Norris

219

Talk Zone / Astros vs. Padres Series Preview Posted

« on: April 14, 2011, 12:59:31 pm »

The Wrong Weekend to Stop Sniffing Glue

220

Beer and Queso / People Magazine Names J-Lo "Most Beautiful Woman"

« on: April 13, 2011, 04:30:17 pm »

Unsubscribe.

221

Beer and Queso / I'll Be in My Bunk

« on: April 07, 2011, 05:54:01 pm »

With my iPad.

Atari's Greatest Hits comes to the App Store.

222

Beer and Queso / Run for the Rose

« on: April 05, 2011, 11:24:00 am »

I will be dragging my aging carcass running this Sunday for a very good cause – the Dr. Marnie Rose Foundation – raising money for brain cancer research.  I run in the John C. Merchant Foundation team, named after the father of good friends of mine who was taken by brain cancer far too soon.

Click here to donate to our team’s cause.  Just enter "Ray Ward" in the search window and follow the link to my donation page.  Don't forget that your company may well match your donation.  It takes just a couple of minutes to do, but will make the world of difference to someone!

Wish me luck and please make a donation!

223

Beer and Queso / Browser Wars

« on: March 31, 2011, 02:05:36 pm »

For a while now, I have used Safari on my office Win/PC.  I have it at home (natch), so I prefer the familiarity of the layout, and it is a totally functional browser for grown-ups.  No giant multi-coloured buttons or stupid clicking like IE, whose interface was designed by Fisher Price.  However, I have noticed that Safari has a tendency to hang on occasion, just for a few seconds, but long enough to be irritating.  It doesn't lock up my PC, but it locks up itself.  So I wanted an alternative.

IE is obviously not an option.  I tried and dismissed Chrome - just something about the layout that I didn't like.  So it was back to Firefox, which I used prior to the release of a Windows version of Safari.  I installed the new 4.0 version of the Fox, and it worked perfectly well.  Not annoying and retarded like IE, and without the hang-ups of Safari.  Then Java stopped working.

WTF?  No site with Java would work.  I'd get error messages saying that Java was disabled, so I went to my options and confirmed that it was clearly enabled, because the check box next to "Enable Java" was checked.  Java was installed and working properly on my PC because it would work with both IE and Safari.  Weird.  A google search turned up no discussion of this issue - so it was just me.  Firefox' website had nothing.  It's support pages had nothing.  Better yet, adding a question to their discussion section requires...you guessed it...Java!

So it's back to Safari for me.  It still hangs from time-to-time, but it's all I got at this point.

224

Game Zone 2011 Archive / Astros vs. Red Sox, March 30

« on: March 30, 2011, 04:35:45 pm »

Lineups:

Astros
CF Bourn
SS Sanchez
RF Pence
LF Lee
1B Wallace
2B Hall
DH Inglett
3B Johnson
C   Towles
P   Figueroa

Red Sox
CF Ellsbury
2B Pedroia
LF Crawford
1B Gonzales
3B Youkilis
DH Ortiz
RF Drew
C  Saltalamaccia
SS Scutaro
P   Beckett

225

Talk Zone / New Scoreboard Pics

« on: March 30, 2011, 04:11:26 pm »

Latest Fucknotes has pics of the new board in action.  I now know what I want for Christmas.

226

Beer and Queso / Cheap Flights (with Subtitles)

« on: March 28, 2011, 12:33:13 pm »

Fecking brilliant.

227

Beer and Queso / Bonds on Trial

« on: March 25, 2011, 10:42:58 am »

It's started, btw.

228

Beer and Queso / SPD

« on: March 17, 2011, 10:49:11 am »

Mick from County Cork wins an all-expenses-paid vacation to Spain in the local lottery, but he is worried about going because of the language barrier.  A mate tells him that he needn't worry.  "Just speak slowly," his friend advises, "and they'll be able to understand you."  Armed with this tip, Mick sets off for his trip to Spain and, immediately upon arrival, finds the nearest Irish pub.

"Hell...lo," says Mick to the bartender.

"Can...oi...help...you?" is the reply.

"Yes," says Mick.  "Oi...would...loike...a...pint...of...Guinness...please."

The bartender pours the pint, delivers it to Mick and asks "What...is...your...name?"

"Moi...name...is...Mick...and...oi...am...from...County...Cork."

"Hell...lo...Mick," says the bartender with a smile.  "Moi...name...is...Paddy...and...oi...am...from...County...Donegal."

Mick's brow furrows.  "If...you...are...from...County...Donegal...and...oi....am...from...County...Cork...   why...the...fook...are...we...both...speaking...Spanish?"

229

Talk Zone / New Limey Time Posted

« on: March 14, 2011, 01:48:24 pm »

The recap of this year's Spring Training trip is here.

230

Beer and Queso / Charlie Sheen Wants To Finish Career As A Cleveland Indian

« on: February 28, 2011, 01:45:48 pm »

That is all.

231

Beer and Queso / DAS BOOOOOOOOOOT!!

« on: February 14, 2011, 09:15:28 am »

Beerfest comes to Houston.

232

Beer and Queso / Why People Don't Give a Flying Fuck about the Pro-Bowl

« on: February 02, 2011, 10:22:34 am »

This.

233

Beer and Queso / Baseball vs. Football

« on: January 31, 2011, 09:34:08 am »

Bill Maher takes Carlin's baseball vs. football analogy one step further, and applies it to politics.

234

Beer and Queso / Houston Auto Show

« on: January 31, 2011, 09:26:59 am »

I'm never going again.  I would've been better served saving my entrance fee and walking the parking lot.  BMW didn't have the old 6-Series, let alone the new one.  Mercedes didn't bother bringing any of the high-end cars.  Ferrari, Maserati, Porsche, Rolls Royce and Bentley didn't even bother coming.  Kia had one of the biggest stands.

If I hadn't bumped into a friend, I would've been in and out in under 10 minutes.

That friend, after a couple of $7.50 Miller Lights and much boredom, decided to go and fuck with a car salesman.  He went to the Dodge stand, and asked a rep to point out their top sports car.  After waffling about the Charger (of which there was one on display), and being pressed on the subject to "get real", he offered up the Viper.  My friend pointed out that they don't make them anymore, so the salesman finally fessed up that it's the Challenger.  "Where is it?" asked my friend.

It turns out that, for Chrysler at least, the company puts no money into the Houston show.  Nothing.  All the cars on the Chrysler stand were taken from dealer stock.  Only one dealer had a Challenger, and he sold that just before the show.  My friend told them that he was "embarrassed for America".

235

Talk Zone / Bagwell: More Classy than the entire BBWAA

« on: January 05, 2011, 04:49:52 pm »

From Footer's blog:

I was not real shocked. I told you guys before I did not expect to get in. And that's OK. I'm just thankful that I'm even on the ballot and we'll go from here. Guys like me, (meaning, without 500 home runs, 3,000 hits), we're not going to get in really easy.

Not one bit. Someone from Toronto's obviously not going to know a thing about me. That's going to happen in this era. The suspicion is ridiculous...just because I worked out? I mean, come on. But it doesn't bother me. I knew this was going to happen. Whatever happens, happens.

I promise you, I am not disappointed. I am happy to get that many votes. Nothing is going to change what people think. There's nothing I can do about it. I can't go back and play and say, 'See? I can do this.' People are going to say what they want to say and I can't change that. That's cool. I'm at peace with that.

236

Beer and Queso / Lunacy in Politics

« on: December 28, 2010, 09:42:24 am »

Online petition plan for Parliament to go ahead

A plan to allow popular online petitions to be debated in Parliament within a year has been given the go-ahead by the government.

...

Labour MP Paul Flynn, a member of the Commons public administration committee, criticised the government's proposal, telling BBC Radio 4's Today programme: "This seems to be an attractive idea to those who haven't seen how useless this has been in other parts of the world when it's tried.

"If you ask people the question 'do you want to pay less tax?', they vote yes. If we get the e-petitions in there will be some asking for Jeremy Clarkson to be prime minister, for Jedi and Darth Vader to be the religions of the country.

"The blogosphere is not an area that is open to sensible debate; it is dominated by the obsessed and the fanatical and we will get crazy ideas coming forward."

"I would like to refer my honourable colleague to the comments made by Jay in Houston in which he pointed out that, and I quote: 'Necktown ladies sing this song!  Do-dah!  Do-dah!' "

237

Beer and Queso / Technology in Sports

« on: December 27, 2010, 12:23:48 pm »

Yes, I am bored today.

If you are bored too, take a look at this episode from the current England vs. Australia "Ashes" series.  In a very tense situation for the Aussies (they are in serious danger of losing a series to England at home for the first time in 20 years), English batsman Pieterson came very close to a pitch that was caught behind by the wicketkeeper.  The 'keeper appealed to the Umpire, who gave Pieterson "not out", because he didn't think he touched the ball.  The Aussies called for a booth review...

But that's not what's interesting.  What's interesting is the technology available.  In addition to the usual multi-angle super slow motion video, they have "Hotspot" and "Snicko".  Hotspot is super slow motion, infrared video that can show up the heat signature left behind from the friction of the contact between bat and ball.  Snicko, is sound filtering technology that can filter out background noise, and focus solely on any sound that is generated when the bat touches the ball.  With outs in cricket being so precious, all of this is used to ensure that the right call is made.

Of course, in the circumstance here, all the technology failed to show that Pieterson had made contact, so the "not out" ruling stood (quite rightly, IMHO).  And, the Aussies being bad losers*, their captain went on a 5 minute whingefest, which cost him 40% of his earnings for the match.


*  Aussies are even worse winners than they are losers.

238

Beer and Queso / Nice

« on: December 08, 2010, 03:17:43 pm »

I show a modicum of restraint, and still get slammed by Spack.  Never a break...

239

Beer and Queso / Royal Wedding

« on: November 18, 2010, 11:31:26 am »

Kate Middleton.... The first person to squeeze a finger into Diana's ring since Dodi Al Fayed.

240

Beer and Queso / Dear Natalie Portman Fans

« on: November 18, 2010, 10:29:29 am »

You're welcome.

241

Beer and Queso / Schaub Hospitalised with Knee Injury

« on: November 17, 2010, 02:31:59 pm »

So that's Kubiak's arse covered then.

242

Beer and Queso / I'm Glad He Didn't Read Our Thread

« on: November 17, 2010, 12:09:55 pm »

MADISON, Wis. – A rural Wisconsin man blasted his television set with a shotgun after watching Bristol Palin's "Dancing with the Stars" routine Monday night, saying he was fed up with politics and Palin wasn't a very good dancer, according to court documents.

243

Talk Zone / Houston Meet 'n' Greet - Sunday, 11/21

« on: November 17, 2010, 11:44:35 am »

Just cos it's the void doesn't mean that we cannot meet in person to "fight like hell".  So, in honour of Joey Trum's latest sojourn down this way, Houston TZers will be meeting up.  All are welcome.

When:  Sunday, 11/21, 4pm
Where: On the patio at El Pueblito Place* (Richmond at Mandell)

“Oh, you like 3D??? Well, here’s a burrito - comin’ right ’atcha!!!”
  - Kenny Powers


* It's a great Tex-Mex place.  I've never eaten there, but the 'ritas are excellent.

244

Talk Zone / MLB All Fiction Team

« on: November 03, 2010, 12:05:30 pm »

What?  No Steve Nebraska?

245

Talk Zone / Bourn is Best Centerfielder in MLB

« on: November 02, 2010, 09:46:03 am »

Accoring to the Fielding Bible, which sounds like it should be an old, black and white British movie.

246

Beer and Queso / Movember

« on: November 01, 2010, 01:54:10 pm »

I am joining in the month of silliness that is Movember.  Starting with a light shadow this morning that will grow into a magnificent soup-catcher.  Check out my Mo Space page for updates and for an easy way to donate (tax free) to a very good cause.

247

Talk Zone / Ranger's Molina Guaranteed a Ring

« on: October 25, 2010, 02:57:42 pm »

In case you weren't aware of this tidbit of anorackia, Ranger's squatting Molina - Bengie - spent the first half of the season playing for the Giants before playing the second half with the Rangers.  You get a ring if a team for whom you played at least half a season gets one.  So Bengie gets one regardless, he just doens't yet know if it'll be a Giants or Rangers ring.

248

Game Zone 2010 Playoffs / NLCS Game 6

« on: October 23, 2010, 06:59:33 pm »

I think Buckarver, when they say "redundant", actually mean "babbling irrelevance".

249

Beer and Queso / For a Buhzillionaire, Tom Hicks Appears to be a Seriously Dumb Sonofabitch

« on: October 14, 2010, 01:49:56 pm »

Inexorably moving towards default on his loans taken out on Liverpool FC with the Royal Bank of Scotland, Hicks is fighting an attempted sale of the club to Red Sox owners NESV.  There's an Asian billionaire, Lim, waiting in the wings.  Meanwhile, Hicks and his partner Gillett no longer appear to own their shares, meaning that they have no skin in the game any longer, but that hasn't stopped them using a "friendly" judge in Texas to try to overturn the UK High Court's decision that they can't stop this sale.  But still, Mill Financial (part owners of the Redskins), to whom H&G's shares appear to have defaulted, could pay the delinquent debt service to RBS, stave off foreclosure, and become the proud new owners of LFC.

Pop some corn and pull up a chair.

250

Beer and Queso / Cigar Guy

« on: October 06, 2010, 05:20:26 pm »

The crazy dude standing behind Tiger when he shanked a ball at a Daily Heil photographer last weekend (how did that all end up, by the way?), has become the latest internet meme, being photoshopped into great sporting moments as well as classic album covers.

Classic.

251

Beer and Queso / This is Funny

« on: October 01, 2010, 05:00:23 pm »

That is all.

252

Beer and Queso / Ryder Cup

« on: September 30, 2010, 02:55:10 pm »

Let battle commence.  In Newport.  Wait...where?  WTF?

253

Talk Zone / Astros at Reds - Series Preview Posted

« on: September 27, 2010, 11:23:26 am »

Get Yer Vomit Bags Ready

254

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros at Gnats - 9/20

« on: September 20, 2010, 04:10:02 pm »

CF Bourgeois
2B JFK
RF Pence
1B Lee
SS Blum
3B Johnson
LF Bogusevic
C  Quintero
P  Norris

255

Beer and Queso / Friday Point and Laugh Thread

« on: September 17, 2010, 10:20:04 am »

Tom Hicks is tapped out and about to lose control of Liverpool FC.

Tom Hicks has launched a last-ditch bid to retain control of Liverpool by looking to secure another refinancing deal as his co-owner, George Gillett, attempts to avoid defaulting on a $75m loan that could cost him his involvement in the Anfield club.

256

Beer and Queso / Hand Raise

« on: September 16, 2010, 10:32:46 am »

I know very little about football (the kind where you use your hands, not your feet).  But that didn't stop me pricking on about how the Texans fucked up when they had the #1 draft pick and didn't take Vince Young, Reggie Bush or even Matt Leinart.

Is it possible to have been more comprehensively wrong?  My only solace is that I wasn't alone, and there were plenty of people who are paid to know what they're talking about who were saying the same things.

The Texans should treat us all to a large glass of shut the fuck up.

257

Beer and Queso / Yakety Sax

« on: September 15, 2010, 10:23:21 am »

Is what's missing here.

258

Talk Zone / Wallace Batting 8th

« on: September 10, 2010, 04:06:51 pm »

Footer just posted tonight's lineup, and the Penguin is in the 8-hole (NTTAWWT).

Against a righty?  Bitch slap or natural result of everyone else hitting well too*?


* Yes, I know Wallace's average isn't great, but he has a solid swing and only in my mind are the Astros chasing anything.

259

Talk Zone / Bourn's Wave

« on: September 09, 2010, 10:00:07 am »

As he caught the last out in Wrigley for the season and trotted back to the infield, Bourn turned and waved "See Ya!" to the bleacher bums.

Awesome.

260

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros at Cubs, Sept 6

« on: September 06, 2010, 01:14:58 pm »

For those who haven't seen my preview yet, here's the extract for today's game:

Game #1:  Rodriguez (11-12, 3.71) vs Coleman (1-1, 5.76)

Wandy gets the ball in the series opener, an afternoon event that doesn’t necessarily mean that the idiots in the bleachers won’t be already wasted and punchy.  2-1 of late, with a fabulous ERA of 1.35, the lefty has avoided his typical exaggerated home-road split this year.  For proof, look no further than a record of 8-2 over his last 13 starts, home and road.  For his career, he’s 5-4 in 15 starts against the Schlubs, sporting an ERA of 3.meh.  He handles Fukudome well and only Errormiss really does any damage, still only at a paltry .241 clip (no dingers).

Rookie righty Casey Coleman has 7 big league appearances to his name, 3 of which are starts.  Both his decisions came as a starter, with a loss to the Padres followed up by a win against the Gnats with a 6.1, 3-hit, 1 run effort.  He doesn’t walk many, but doesn’t strike out many either (Mr. Coleman, say hello to Mr. Pence), and is prone, therefore to throw a lot of pitches, relative to his innings pitched.  Obviously, there’s no history in the bigs with him and the Astros.

261

Talk Zone / Astros at Cubs Series Preview Posted

« on: September 06, 2010, 12:44:41 pm »

in the nick of time, too.

[Now updated to correct my horrendous maths]

262

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros at D-Bags, Sept 4

« on: September 04, 2010, 07:36:08 pm »

Both teams put traffic on the bases in the 1st, and come up with a run each. 

FWIW, Norris pitching, Lee manning first, J-Mike in LF, JFK manning 2nd.

263

Beer and Queso / Friday queso thread

« on: September 03, 2010, 11:54:09 am »

I like queso.  Anyone else?

264

Talk Zone / Scalped

« on: August 31, 2010, 11:46:54 am »

In an act of team unity, stupidity – or maybe a bit of both – the Cardinals huddled around each other in the visiting clubhouse at Minute Maid Park and shaved their heads.

Classic.

265

Beer and Queso / Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?

« on: August 30, 2010, 04:16:07 pm »

She was not under arrest, nor suspicion of any wrongdoing.  While her boyfriend was failing his field sobriety test, she said she wanted to apply some lip balm and so handed her purse over to the cop to check it before she would be allowed to delve into it.  Cocaine fell out.

Unless you buy the explanation that it wasn't her purse, even though all of its contents - save the baggy of whizz - was hers, she is one dumb bint.

266

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros @ Phillies - 8/24

« on: August 24, 2010, 03:49:01 pm »

Bourn
Sanchez
Pence
Lee
Michaels
Johnson
Manzella
Quintero
Chub Norris

267

Beer and Queso / Golden Tee

« on: August 20, 2010, 11:16:35 am »

I have been drawn into a Golden Tee Challenge this afternoon.  Believe it or not, I am not a playa when it comes to that game, so any hints and tips would be greatly appreciated.

268

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Mets at Astros: 8/19

« on: August 19, 2010, 05:04:07 pm »

Same high-powered offense as last night, except with Chubby Norris on the mound.

269

Beer and Queso / Help

« on: August 18, 2010, 04:46:32 pm »

Can anyone remember (and/or link me to) the game recap that had the screencap of myself, gleach, Tara and ybbodius in Dayton's seats?

TIA

270

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Mets @ Astros: 8/18

« on: August 18, 2010, 03:19:15 pm »

Footer posted the lineup.  It's the "big stick" brigade tonight:

Bourn
Sanchez
Pence
Lee
Johnson
Wallace
Blum
Quintero
Myers

271

Beer and Queso / Dr. Frank Ryan Killed in Car Crash

« on: August 17, 2010, 03:16:11 pm »

The plastic surgeon who became famous when he performed multiple surgeries on Heidi Montag, died in a car crash today.  Maybe his airbags malfunctioned...

272

Talk Zone / Mets vs. Astros: I See Your Schwartz is as Big as Mine

« on: August 16, 2010, 02:34:00 pm »

Series Preview posted.  Hold your nose and click here.

273

Talk Zone / Pirates Mathematically Eliminated from Major League Baseball

« on: August 10, 2010, 11:35:01 am »

The Onion, natch.

274

Beer and Queso / Net Neutrality Redux

« on: August 09, 2010, 02:32:53 pm »

Google, one of the companies supposedly in the consumers' corner in this fight, has joined up with Verizon to propose Net Neutrality regulations that don't include complete net neutrality.  Instead, they propose a system to "prioritise" certain traffic, and allow customers who pay more to get their stuff faster.

Link to Murdoch Street Journal article

Right now, it's possible to pay to get your shit faster, by that I mean all your shit, by paying for a faster connection.  So the only difference here is the proposal that they can prioritise 'net traffic in the manner they see fit.  How is that neutral again?

275

Beer and Queso / Fire!

« on: August 06, 2010, 09:11:12 am »

Quick!  Stamp it out.

276

Talk Zone / Play Chicken with Seat Prices

« on: August 03, 2010, 02:32:17 pm »

For every run scored on the roadie, the Astros will want their knock $2 off the price of field box seats during the upcoming Pirates series.  The trick?  Seats are limited, so you have to decide how long you wait to buy a ticket.

Of course, courtesy of the Jakes' wobbly bully, the $39 seats are already down to $21.

Personally, I'm going to wait until the tickets are in minus numbers.  It seems only appropriate for them to pay me to watch the Pirates.

277

Talk Zone / Cubs...Fucked

« on: August 03, 2010, 09:09:19 am »

Not only was last night's late-inning beatdown of the Jakes enjoyable on an intrinsic level, it was paired with a Cubs loss that leapfrogged the good guys over the north side rabble.  Better yet, the Cubs' loss was spectacular.  They coughed up 18 runs on 26 hits to the same Brew Crew that scored only 2 runs all series in Houston.  The final was 18-1.  Beautiful.

My favourite part, though, was the top of the 9th in Wrigley.  The Brewers had already tacked on two more runs to get to 18 on the night, and had the bases loaded with 2 out.  Trevor Hoffman came up and, instead of PHing for him, they let him hit.  He made the final out.

In cricket, because the game is time-sensitive, you can give up your remaining outs to save time if you believe you've scored enough runs.  It's called "declaring".  Last night in Chicago was the closest thing to a declaration I've seen in baseball.

278

Beer and Queso / Margarita Machines

« on: August 02, 2010, 03:13:41 pm »

Anyone got one at home?  I'm looking to get one and wondered if any of you folks had any recommendations.  I don't need a $2k restaurant jobbie, just something to crush the ice and blend it with the booze.  I like the concept of this one, as it has an insulated reservoir and a dispenser so the drink doesn't sit melting in a pitcher, but I'm open to suggestions and recommendations.

279

Beer and Queso / Tony Hayward sent to Russia

« on: July 26, 2010, 01:54:13 pm »

Seriously.  They still do that to people?

280

Talk Zone / Cubs at Astros Series Preview Posted

« on: July 26, 2010, 11:22:12 am »

Here ya go

281

Beer and Queso / #ShakesPalin

« on: July 19, 2010, 03:21:34 pm »

Sarah, during an interview on Fox, compressed "refute" and "repudiate" into "refudiate".  Easily done when speaking in public (or anywhere).  Some people jumped on it so Sarah defended herself by saying that the English language is a living thing (true) and that Shakespeare used to make up words (true, albeit on purpose).

So here's where the fun begins.  Twitter has gone berserk with this, and has produced a very entertaining and TZ-like thread (or whatever the fuck they call shit on there).  Enjoy.

But soft, what light from yonder window breaks? It is the East, and I can see Russia from my front porch.

282

Beer and Queso / Nerdprov Everywhere

« on: July 15, 2010, 02:37:36 pm »

For those of you who haven't seen it yet, here's the vid of the Stars Wars Subway Re-enactment.

283

Beer and Queso / World Cup Trivia

« on: July 06, 2010, 03:58:40 pm »

(which is easy to Google but is an interesting fact nonetheless)

If Netherlands lose the final, there will only have been one unbeaten team in the entire tournament.  Who would that be?

284

Beer and Queso / BP's July 4th Gift to Texas

« on: July 05, 2010, 05:36:29 pm »

Tar balls on the Bolivar peninsula.  Coast Guard say they may have hitched a ride on spill work boats, but they really can't tell.  Galveston Mayor Joe Jaworski, just like every other Gulf coast Mayor or Governor, says the water is fine and it's an anomaly.  Hope so.

285

Talk Zone / Astros at Padres Series Preview Posted

« on: July 01, 2010, 03:04:47 pm »

Read it and sleep.

286

Beer and Queso / World Cup Decision Day #4 - Groups G & H, 6/25

« on: June 25, 2010, 09:34:27 am »

Group G - Already underway

This one is pretty simple.  Brazil play Portugal, which would a be a delicious match-up under normal circumstances, except: (a) they both have a tendency to contract temporary muscle spasms any time an opponent comes within farting distance; and (b) there's not really much for them to play for.  Either can lose and still go through.  Admittedly, Cote d'Ivoire can tie Portugal for points, but the 7-goal schellacking meted out by the Portuguese to those plucky North Koreans means that CIV has a monstrous goal disadvantage to reverse.  Even being group winner doesn't help much, becuase no one knows where you need to be to avoid Spain.

The other match is the Ivory Coast vs. North Korea.  This one's basically a complete waste of time.  Unless the Africans can score early and often, the jig is up for them.  The jig was up for the Koreans about half way through their match with Portugal.

Game to watch:  Brazil vs. Portugal

Group H - 1:30pm CDT

Chile have all but booked their place in the next round, but not quite.  They play Spain it what should be the group decider, but Spain's dropped bollock against Switzerland means that events can gang up on them.  This group is paired with Group G, so first or second doesn't really matter - you're getting Brazil or Portugal one way or another, so it's all about bragging rights at this point.  If Chile wins, they top the group.  If Span wins, they probably top the group, but it could create a three-way tie on 6 points with Chile, Spain and Switzerland.  A tie is good enough for Chile, but that would likely see Spain exit - and they aren't likely to let that happen.  Spain was one of the heavily favoured teams, blessed as they are with quality all over the park and lead by perhaps the best goal scorer in the world today, Torres.  But they are in danger of going out here, so this game should be a classic.

Cloggers Switzerland have bored fans stupid for more World Cups than I care to think about.  They have no ambition, but are well organised defensively and can keep any good team at bay.  They even managed to stick one on Spain, which threw everyone's bracket - including mine - down the shitter.  They play Honduras who, despite losing twice, can still qualify for the knockout rounds.  Of course, to do that, they will have to put a few goals past the Swiss defense - no easy task - and then trust Chile to beat Spain.  The Swiss, on the other hand, can profit from one of Chile or Spain fucking up.  They are likely to win this game, pushing them to 6 points and forcing Spain to win to hold them off.  Goal difference is almost certain to be a factor one way or another, and currently is Chile +2, Spain +1 and Switzerland even.  If Chile loses and the Swiss win, they will be at least tied on GD so another goal in the wrong direction for Chile shuttles them to the airport for a flight home.  Keep an eye on this group, because even Honduras can tip the balance with an ill-timed consolation goal.

Game to watch:  Chile vs. Spain

287

Beer and Queso / World Cup Decision Day #1: Groups C and D, 6/23

« on: June 22, 2010, 06:09:49 pm »

Group C - 9:00am CDT

This is definitely a 2 TV day!  Sputtering England and Goalie-Giveth-but-Ref-Taketh-Away USA are trying to beat out plucky Slovenia and annoying Algeria for the 2 spots in the next round.  All can still qualify for the Round of 16.

England play Slovenia, and it's win-and-in for either.  Slovenia are guaranteed to move on with a draw, and can still get through with a loss as long as Algeria beats or ties the US team.  If England draw, it needs to be a high-scoring affair to overtake the USA's +2 in the goals scored column and they need the other game to be a draw, preferably of the 0-0 variety.  Essentially, it's win or go home for the group's seeded team.

USA takes on an Algerian side that has shown it can be quite organised in defense, but has yet to score a goal. Algeria will progress with a win, regardless of what happens in the other game (although certain bizarre and unlikely score permutations may trip them up).  USA is also guaranteed to move forward with a win, and can also move on with a draw as long as England has a low-scoring draw or loses.

So here we are.  Perhaps the purest group in the tournament.  Every team is win-and-in, lose-and-go-home!  Wear your asbestos undercrackers, because there should be some fireworks this morning.

Game to watch:  Both.


Group D - 1:30pm CDT

While Australia still has a mathematical possibility to come second in this group, their inability to keep 11 players on the field, and the 4-0 tonking they got from Germany, makes a knockout berth a virtual impossibility.  That leaves Ghana, group leader on 4 points, playing Germany (3 points), both being chased down by Serbia who earned their 3 points with a shock win over Germany.

Neither Ghana or Germany will be comfortable playing each other while Serbia has a relative lay-up against the Aussies.  Either moves on with a win, while a draw favours Serbia who could leapfrog 'em both, putting Germany out.  Either could lose and stay in, if Serbia loses to Australia, but a German loss and a Serbian draw puts Germany out.  Ghana go if they lose and Serbia wins, but likely survive if Serbia draws.

Serbia are chasing the top two but have the easier game...on paper.  The Aussies have never been credited with an abundance of smarts, but they do hate to lose.  They could put up an almighty fight, ending in a glorious fuck you to the Serbs, or ignominious defeat as they finish the game with only 8 men.  Unless the Serbs trip over their dicks - and how could they - this game should be a given.

Game to watch: Ghana vs. Germany.

288

Beer and Queso / World Cup Decision Day #1: Groups A and B, 6/22

« on: June 21, 2010, 12:23:08 pm »

Starting Tuesday, the World Cup becomes sudden death...ish.  Most groups will involve a myriad of permutations as, I believe, only two teams of the 32 in the groups have been mathematically eliminated: Cameroon and North Korea.  To avoid as best as possible, any shenanigans (Google West Germany and Austria 1982), the final round of matches in each group are played simultaneously.  Therefore, for the next 4 days, there will 4 matches per day, deciding two groups each day.

Both matches are going to be shown simultaneously on ESPN and ESPN2, so I have made a recommendation as to which game to start with.  But, of course, depending on how things are going in one or the other match, or just plain ol' entertainment value, you might want to switch at some point.  It's really impossible to say.


Group A:  9:00am CDT

France and South Africa play each other, and each needs a win to have a chance of moving on.  Whoever loses is eliminated and both are eliminated with a draw.  For one of these teams to advance, they not only have to win, but win big in order to overhaul the much superior goal difference of the top two teams.  There are no win-and-in scenarios for either of these teams as they both need help from the other result.  It's win-and-hope for them.

The two group leaders - Uruguay and Mexico - each have 4 points and both will progress with a draw (Google West Germany and Austria 1982), or if the other group game ends in a draw.  Mexico trails Uruguay by 1 in goal difference, so a stalemate puts Uruguay through as group winner and Mexico as runner-up.  However, both teams will want to avoid Argentina in the Round of 16, and so Mexico has a vested interest in winning.  If there is a loser in this match, it is that team who is in danger of being bumped by a winner from the France - South Africa game.

Game to watch:  France vs. South Africa.


Group B:  1:30pm CDT

Argentina has won both its group matches, yet is still not guaranteed to go through.  They have 6 points, but 2 other teams, Korea and Greece have 3 and a not too insane turn of events could have Argentina finishing 3rd and out.  Conversely, Nigeria lost its first two games, but can still get through with a win.

Argentina play Greece, and it's win (or draw) -and-in for the Argies.  Greece are in with a win, but only if Korea fails to beat Nigeria or does so only by a small margin of victory allowing Greece to overhaul their skinny goal difference advantage.  To be honest, that is unlikely, so Greece really need the other match to be a draw or a Nigeria win.  If Greece and Korea win, it sets up a three-way tie on 6 points with Argentina, but the latter is so far ahead on goal difference it is highly unlikely that both Greece and Korea would bump them, which is what needs to happen for the Argies to go home.  In fact, only a large loss to Greece can keep Argentina from winning the group.

If both matches are a draw, Argentina and Korea go through.  If Argentina and Greece draw, Korea goes through (behind Argentina) unless they lose to Nigeria, in which case Argentina and Greece progress.

Nigeria has a slim but not ridiculous chance of sneaking into the Round of 16.  They can get through by beating Korea, but only if Greece also loses.  In this scenario, there's a three-way tie for 2nd on 3 points, and it will come down to goal difference, in which Nigeria trail the other two.  Nigeria needs to win big and hope that Argentina thumps Greece - neither of which is an outlandish expectation.

Game to watch:  Korea vs. Nigeria.

289

Beer and Queso / The Fat Bastard

« on: June 17, 2010, 07:30:46 pm »

...is commentating on the US Open.  He just managed to work in "Back-Back-Back-Back-Back".

Fuck.

290

Beer and Queso / Only with Truth can there be Healing

« on: June 16, 2010, 04:20:23 pm »

Finally, the Bloody Sunday victims are exonerated.  When will the lesson be learned that blaming the victims just turns innocents into enemies?

To err is human, to fess up humane.

291

Talk Zone / Astros at Yankees - Series Preview Posted

« on: June 10, 2010, 05:13:47 pm »

Father's Day Special

ETA:  I know it's not Father's Day...now.

292

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros at Rockies - 6/10

« on: June 10, 2010, 02:22:53 pm »

Astros
M. Bourn CF
J. Keppinger 2B
L. Berkman 1B
C. Lee LF
H. Pence RF
P. Feliz 3B
H. Quintero C
T. Manzella SS
R. Oswalt P

Rockies
C. Gonzalez CF   
T. Helton 1B
T. Tulowitzki SS
B. Hawpe RF
S. Smith LF
M. Olivo C
I. Stewart 3B
C. Barmes 2B
J. Chacin P

293

Beer and Queso / European Economies

« on: June 04, 2010, 10:01:11 am »

In case you give a shit, this is for you.

294

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros vs. Gnats, 6/2/10

« on: June 02, 2010, 04:42:29 pm »

Astros lineup 6/2 vs. Nationals:

Bourn cf
Keppinger 2b
Berkman 1b
Lee lf
Pence rf
Feliz 3b
Manzella ss
Quintero c
Rodriguez p

Roof CLOSED. First pitch: 7:05 p.m. CT

295

Beer and Queso / Lebowski Dissed

« on: June 01, 2010, 05:57:47 pm »

Doesn't make EW's top ten greatest characters list.  Such aggression will not stand, man.

296

Beer and Queso / Google Goes Mac

« on: June 01, 2010, 10:28:40 am »

And once you go Mac...

297

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Rays @ Astros: May 21

« on: May 21, 2010, 04:15:25 pm »

Tonight's lambs to the slaughter:

Bourn cf
Keppinger 2b
Berkman 1b
Lee lf
Pence rf
Feliz 3b
Manzella ss
Cash c
Myers p

First pitch: 7:05 CT. Roof closed.

298

Talk Zone / Rays @ Astros - Series Preview

« on: May 21, 2010, 12:04:33 pm »

Read it and weep.  Unconsolably.

299

Talk Zone / Astros Race for the Pennant

« on: May 18, 2010, 12:45:42 pm »

No, not the actual race that was over one week into the season.  The 5K run past the piss-stained tramplands of north east downtown.

It's on May 29.  Anyone running?  I'm thinking about it.

300

Beer and Queso / Anatomy of a Clusterfuck

« on: May 17, 2010, 01:27:42 pm »

Here's Part 1 of a 60 Minutes interview with survivors, witnesses and experts about the Deepwater Horizon disaster.  Part 2 is here.

Together, it's about 25 minutes, but it's fascinating and incredibly informative.  Very well worth the time.

301

Talk Zone / Astros Watching Party Tonight at Lucky's Pub

« on: May 12, 2010, 09:52:04 am »

Footer, it seems, couldn't catch up with the team for the trip to Jakeback Mountain, so she is instead organising a Jake-Hater Astros Watching Party at Lucky's Pub.  For the Facebookers among you who aren't Footer's friends on there (and if you're not, why aren't you?), here's the link to the FB invite.

Here's the description of the event:

Come on out to Lucky's Pub to watch the Astros as they play the Cardinals in St. Louis. We'll host trivia contests and will be giving away some great prizes, including signed bobbleheads of some of your favorite Astros players. We'll also be giving away tickets to future games. Contests will be conducted through Twitter -- the first person to Tweet the right answer, wins!

First prize: two tickets to an Astros game
Second prize: four tickets to an Astros game
Don't forget to tip your wait staff.

302

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros vs. D-Bags - 5/6

« on: May 06, 2010, 03:50:28 pm »

Astros lineup 5/6 vs. Dbacks:

Bourn cf
Keppinger 2b
Lee lf
Berkman 1b
Pence rf
Blum 3b
Manzella ss
Quintero c
Rodriguez p

First pitch 7:05 CT. Roof OPEN.

303

Beer and Queso / More Hilariously-Named Apple Products

« on: May 06, 2010, 02:59:23 pm »

Well, it's not actually an Apple product, rather it's an Apple accessory.  Now that the guffawing over the name "iPad" has subsided a little, here comes the ClamCase.  I shit you not.

FWIW, I'm absolutely getting one.

304

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astrolitos vs. Serpientes - 5/5

« on: May 05, 2010, 03:41:40 pm »

Astros lineup vs Dbacks 5/5:

Bourn cf
Matsui 2b
Lee lf
Berkman 1b
Pence rf
Feliz 3b
Manzella ss
Cash c
Myers p

First pitch 7:05 CT. Roof open.

305

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros vs. D-Bags - 5/4

« on: May 04, 2010, 03:23:07 pm »

Astros lineup 5/4 vs Dbacks:

Bourn cf
Keppinger 2b
Lee lf
Berkman 1b
Pence rf
Feliz 3b
Manzella ss
Quintero c
Oswalt p

Roof OPEN.

The return of the cornerless outfield.

306

Talk Zone / Paulino

« on: April 29, 2010, 10:28:37 am »

Clearly, last night, was pitching to avoid contact.  He was staying away from hitters or overthrowing trying to buzz one by.  I don't blame him.  In another world he would've been able to walk off the mound and refuse to pitch until the Astros put a major league defense behind him.  What a joke.

They should jam Pence's and Lee's heads together, and shoot them both through the temple.  They're not worth a bullet each.  I've had it with their clueless hitting and shitty, shitty, shitty fielding.  They need to be sent back to coach-pitch to learn some fucking fundamentals.

If I were Brad Mills, I would have those two fuckers at the ballpark at 7am every morning, work them to the point of exhaustion, then allow them a nice long rest on the bench during the game.

I'm not happy.

307

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros vs. Reds - 4/28

« on: April 28, 2010, 03:20:41 pm »

Astros lineup 4/28 vs. Reds:

Bourn cf
Keppinger ss
Lee lf
Berkman 1b
Feliz 3b
Pence rf
Matsui 2b
Quintero c
Paulino p

First pitch 7:05 CT. Roof OPEN.

308

Talk Zone / Wednesday Watching Party

« on: April 28, 2010, 11:29:18 am »

Following on from the "success" of the pre-season Wednesday gatherings for Astroline, it has been decided to continue with ad hoc get-togethers for Wednesday night games.  This will occur mostly for road games but there will be one tonight despite the fact that: (1) the Astros are at home; and (b) there are enough empty seats at MMPUS these days to accommodate Indonesia.

Regardless, the venue is Griff's in Montrose, with the forces gathering anytime +/- first pitch.

All are welcome.  It's a free country*.

* except AZ.



Punch and pie.

309

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros vs. Reds - 4/27

« on: April 27, 2010, 04:11:49 pm »

Astros lineup vs. Reds 4/27:

ourn cf
Keppinger 2b
Lee lf
Berkman 1b
Pence rf
Blum 3b
Towles c
Manzella ss
Norris p

Roof OPEN.

310

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros vs. Pirates: 4/23

« on: April 23, 2010, 04:37:55 pm »

Astros lineup 4/23 vs. Pirates:

Bourn cf
Keppinger 2b
Berkman 1b
Lee lf
Pence rf
Feliz 3b
Towles c
Manzella ss
Oswalt p

First pitch 7:05 p.m. CT. Roof CLOSED.


Personal note:  I'm getting very, very irritated by the corner outfielders.

311

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros vs. Marlins: 4/22

« on: April 22, 2010, 05:27:41 pm »

Astros lineup 4/22 vs. Marlins:

Bourn cf
Matsui 2b
Berkman 1b
Lee lf
Pence rf
Blum 3b
Quintero c
Manzella ss
Paulino p

Roof OPEN.

Astros looking to sweep, having already achieved what no other team has this year: taken a series from the Marlins.

312

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros vs Marlins - 4/21

« on: April 21, 2010, 04:35:46 pm »

Astros lineup 4/21 vs. Marlins:

Bourn cf
Keppinger ss
Berkman 1b
Lee lf
Pence rf
Feliz 3b
Matsui 2b
Quintero c
Norris p

Roof open.

313

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros vs. Marlins: 4/20 - Smoke If You Got 'Em

« on: April 20, 2010, 03:58:35 pm »

Astros lineup 4/20 vs. Marlins:

Bourn cf
Keppinger 2b
BERKMAN 1b
Lee lf
Pence rf
Feliz 3b
Towles c
Manzella ss
Myers p

First pitch 7:05. Roof OPEN.

314

Talk Zone / Colbert on the Cubbies

« on: April 19, 2010, 10:38:46 pm »

What's wrong with selling people something that's designed to fail?  The Cubs do that every year.

315

Beer and Queso / You're Welcome, Lads

« on: April 13, 2010, 05:03:58 pm »

Emmanuelle Chriqui, tastefully nude (not porn but not really SFW).

316

Beer and Queso / Solidarity Brother

« on: April 12, 2010, 08:56:43 am »

Check this out.

317

Talk Zone / I Have a Small Sample

« on: April 08, 2010, 09:09:16 am »

Hunter Pence, in three games, sports a Full Blutarsky.  Zero-point-zero.

Oh fer fuckssake 13, 0 BB, 1 R, 0 RBI.

318

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros vs. Phillies - 3/30/10

« on: March 30, 2010, 01:56:26 pm »

Norris got the start, and had quite a nice line today.  5.0IP, 6H, 2R, 7Ks, 0BB.  He had a bit of fun in the 2nd, when he hit a batter (Werth), balked him over to 2nd, from where he stole 3rd, and trotted home on a single.  Does Norris get an assist for that?

The Astros dropped a 3-spot on Contreras in the 5th, and it's currently 4-2 Astros in the top of the 6th.  Lindstrom on now, but he's gone 2B, BB to open the frame.

319

Beer and Queso / Verizon iPhone

« on: March 30, 2010, 09:33:01 am »

Coming this summer, according to the Murdoch Street Journal.  AAPL jumped $4+ from yesterday's record high.  A CDMA iPhone can be distributed much more widely than the current GSM-only models.

320

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros at Pirates 3/29/10

« on: March 29, 2010, 04:39:06 pm »

Maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked, pal!

To be fair, starting pitcher Chacin gave up 8 runs in two innings, so it's not really a "real world" situation for anyone other than Chacin.

321

Talk Zone / Ensberg by Numbers

« on: March 29, 2010, 03:50:21 pm »

I presume that this is his take on slide rule baseball.  If it is, ignoring the his "Top Gun" analogy (which I really like), my favourite bit is this:

Sabermetrics is being limited by the quality of information that is being provided.  What is great about this system is that it gives you an absolute value for effectiveness.  Sabermetrics doesn’t care if you sacrifice the runner over or not.  But, it will tell you how effective you are at sacrifice bunting.  However, Sabermetrics is calculating the outcomes instead of calculating the process possibilities.

322

Beer and Queso / Crystal Pal-Diddy

« on: March 19, 2010, 11:52:26 am »

Now that Sean Combs has expressed an interest in rescuing Crystal Palace FC from the garbage heap, the wags at The Guardian's "Fiver" footie email have weighed in on other potential rap artist / football club collaborations.  They include:

De La Hull
2 Live Crewe
A Tribe Called Quest Ham
World Class Wrexham Crew

and

Ol' Dirty Bradford

323

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros vs Nationals 3/17/10

« on: March 17, 2010, 04:15:01 pm »

They won.  That is all*.

* Not really.  Wandy had 7 Ks in 4 innings, but coughed up 2 dingers.  Final was 9-2 Astros, which means everyone else was tighter than a gnat's chuff.  Also, the Nationals still blow.

324

Beer and Queso / Button Injured in Horrific F1 Accident

« on: March 16, 2010, 12:55:40 pm »

Link

325

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros vs Red Sox 3/16/10

« on: March 16, 2010, 12:45:42 pm »

Pitching duel underway in Kissimmee.  Both Lester and Oswalt have posted 3 scoreless frames, yielding only 2 hits each.

326

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros vs. Necktards 3/14/10

« on: March 14, 2010, 11:06:19 am »

Virtually the regular line up today.

cf Bourn
2b Matsui
rf Pence
lf Lee
1b Blum
3b Feliz
ss Manzella
c Quintero
p Myers

327

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros vs. Nationals 3/13/10

« on: March 13, 2010, 12:53:49 pm »

Norris was looking good.  Then a 2-out, 2-strike fastball was left a little high, and Zimmerman lofted it into the jet stream going out to RF.  Now he can't find the strike zone. 

2-1 Gnats in the middle of the 3rd

328

Talk Zone / Fit Elvis

« on: March 11, 2010, 08:41:05 am »

That's not a typo in the subject line. Puma looks lean and mean.  He was asked about it at Astroline, and said that he works on his weight during the offseason but, when the games begin and they're arriving late into hotels on road trips, if he's hungry he's going to eat.  The food available at that time of night is mostly unhealthy, so he gets fat during the season.

He also said that he does the 6 meals a day thing, which I thought was Lee's gig.  

329

Talk Zone / Puma on Wynn

« on: March 10, 2010, 07:56:25 pm »

Milo was waxing lyrical about the 6-pitcher no-no vs. the Jankees, and mentioned that Jimy didn't know what was happening until it was over.

Puma: "Probably why he isn't managing anymore "

Awesome. 

330

Game Zone 2010 Archive / Astros at Mets - 3/9

« on: March 09, 2010, 01:26:41 pm »

The Astros dropped a three-run soupbone on Johan Santana in the top of the 1st, featuring doubles by Feliz and Michaels, and a solo poke my Matsui.  Santana left after 1.2 innings with 4 earnies to his name; the 4th run being courtesy of Mach Bourn, who stole two bases after reaching on a fielder's choice (quite possibly beating out a DP ball after he hit a grounder to 2B), and trotted home on a Blum line drive single.

Myers pitching today, gave up 2 runs in 3 innings so far, and I don't know if he's been lifted yet as they're still in the top of the 4th.

331

Talk Zone / New Limey Time Posted

« on: March 08, 2010, 04:38:42 pm »

Read it and sleep.

332

Game Zone 2010 Archive / BJs at Astros 03/08

« on: March 08, 2010, 02:31:19 pm »

There must be some bizarre shit going on in the ol' OCS today.  The Jays have banged out 14 hits (through 8 innings, and only score 4 runs.  Chacin and Bazardo gave up 3 hits each in their respective frames, but only one run between them.  Byrdak, on the other hand, was tagged for 2 runs off the 3 hits he allowed.

Meanwhile, the Astros just got on the board in the last of the eighth, when Towles (DHing in the 2-hole) cranked his 2nd double of the day and scored one for the Keppinger.

4-1 Hummers, going into the 9th.

333

Beer and Queso / Tiger Woods Announces Return To Sex

« on: February 19, 2010, 10:30:12 am »

As usual, The Onion nails it.

334

Beer and Queso / Rugby on TV

« on: February 12, 2010, 09:58:03 am »

As mentioned in another thread, BBC America is showing selected matches from the Six-Nations tournament this year.  It involves the six nations of England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, France and Italy.  Don't ask me why Italy are in there, they're rubbish.  Anyway, the games are on Saturday and/or Sunday mornings at around 11ish (it varies depending on where the game is being held).  This week's game is on Saturday, and it's France vs. Ireland at 11:30am CST, from the Stade de France in Paris.

Folklore says that the sport of "rugby football" was born when William Webb Ellis, a pupil at the Rugby School in England, picked up a soccer ball and ran into the opponents goal with it.  This isn't true, but it's fun, and the World Cup trophy is named after the boy.  Regardless, the sport came to North America with the European settlers, and has since morphed into what you call football.  Watch it, and you will see the family resemblance.  Imagine American-style football, without a forward pass and where the ball is never dead, and you've got rugby.

It is 15 on 15 game game of two, 40-minute halves with the clock always running unless the referee takes time off for irregular stoppages (injuries, for example).  The object is to move the ball down the field and touch it down to the ground behind your opponents goal line, which runs the width of the field.  Sound familiar?  That is called a "try" and scores 5 points, with the kick after (conversion) being worth 2.  Some infractions result in a penalty kick, which if put between the uprights like a field goal scores 3 points, and it's 3 point for a drop goal.  There are no hash marks to limit the width from which kicks are taken, so the kicker can be forced to try and make from the side line.

The ball cannot move forward from any player's hand (that's called a "knock on" and is penalised with a scrum), so it is passed laterally as the team in possession tries to find or make a seam in the opposing defense.  There is no blocking allowed and it is only permitted to tackle the player in possession of the ball.  Only players on their feet are allowed to play the ball - if a player is tackled in possession, he has to release the ball, hopefully to be taken up by one of his upright teammates.  The ball can be punted forward at any time, which teams will do to gain field position while typically sacrificing possession.

Normal play is that a player will carry the ball into a tackle, go to gound and feed it back to his supporting teammates.  This sets up what's called a "ruck", where the defense will try to push the offense off the ball to regain possession.  The team in possession will hold them off and then cycle the ball back and across the field with a lateral pass to then set up another ruck, hopefully a little further down field.  This will get repeated until they have worked the defense out of position such that there's a seam or an overlap, and one of the (running) backs will try to burst through, or they'll whip the ball out to the wings for one of the true speedsters to get around the outside.  If the defense holds, the team in possession may punt for field position, rather than risk losing the ball close to their own goal line.

Offside.  This seems a little complicated at first, but it's really quite simple.  The ball sets up an offside line, like the line of scrimmage, but it remains in force at all times.  Thus, a player is only allowed to join the play if he is coming from his side of the ball.  If he comes in from the side, or from behind the play, he is offside.  The only time a player is allowed to be active when in front of the ball is when he is joined to the player with the ball, either in the scrum or in an impromptu scrum, called a maul.  Players are constantly left on the wrong side of the ball as tackles go in and the ball moves, so they must cycle back to their side of the ball before they are allowed to re-engage.  If the ball is punted forward, the same applies in that only players who were behind the kicker are allowed to challenge the catch (like a kick off in football).

The Scrum.  Certain infractions result in rugby's most recognisable event - the scrum.  This is set up when a formation of 8 players on each side push on each other, shoulder-to-shoulder with heads interlocked.  The team winning the infraction gets to put the ball into this scrum, and this is timed so that the ball is hooked back into their half of the formation.  Both teams try to shove the other backwards, and you will likely hear the crowd shouting what sounds like boos, but is actually "heave".  As long as the ball stays in the scrum, no one on the opposition can touch it.  If they can move forward, dribbling the ball soccer style, they can go as far as they like, even to the score line (this is called a "push over" try).

That's about it.  There are other rules that will become apparent while watching, and the referee wears a live mic which really helps a lot.  You can hear him coaching the teams to avoid committing infractions - and this is good refereeing.  The game should flow, and without a wise and wary referee, it can turn into a stop-motion horror.  FYI, the referee will point to the side winning the foul, not the side who committed the foul.  He has two linesman to help, who are very necessary as there are 30 players to keep an eye on, most of whom will be up to some form of no good when no one's watching.

335

Beer and Queso / Clothing Drive

« on: February 05, 2010, 11:04:52 am »

Please give generously.

336

Talk Zone / Friday Photo Shoot at MMPUS

« on: February 03, 2010, 11:05:20 am »

Footer is pimping a charity photo shoot event at MMPUS on Firday morning:

Astros fans are invited to wear red and participate in a photo shoot at Minute Maid Park Friday (Feb. 5) at 9:30 a.m. Join in the AHA's efforts to raise awareness for heart disease... Enter the right field gates and WEAR RED, and you're guaranteed to be in the photo. And parking is free!

337

Talk Zone / No Sale

« on: February 01, 2010, 02:02:19 pm »

So blogs Alyson.

338

Beer and Queso / The Apple of My Eye

« on: January 25, 2010, 04:19:59 pm »

They just smashed Wall Street's expectations for their last quarter.  Next up, the new tablet is unveiled on Wednesday, along with (rumoured) iPhone OS 4.0 and the end of AT&T's exclusive deal.

Could be a big week for Jobs' boys.

339

Beer and Queso / This Has Been Bugging Me for a While Now

« on: January 19, 2010, 12:51:39 pm »

How did Phil end up in hospital with a concussion and cracked ribs?

The photos during the closing credits reveal a scuffle at the wedding amongst the boys, but that doesn't look like much.  The unrated version has some more photos, but still nothing that jumps out at me.  All the other "mysteries" are revealed during the movie or in the photos, so I'm perplexed.

I have seen suggestions that it was from the fight with Wayne Newton, but you don't really see Phil getting stuck in or getting stuck in to...and it's Stu that decks Newton.

340

Beer and Queso / Blow Me, Fuckface!

« on: January 11, 2010, 11:38:57 am »

An aggressive thread title, to be sure.  But it's what Tom Hicks, Jr., son of Tom Sr. (du-uh) and board member of Liverpool FC, said to a fan via email.  He has since had to resign.

341

Talk Zone / 1986 NLCS Game 6 on MLBTV Tonight

« on: January 09, 2010, 04:40:35 pm »

6 til 11. Set your DVRs.

342

Beer and Queso / I'm Gonzo

« on: December 22, 2009, 02:17:59 pm »

...to Limeyland for Christmas.  Everyone have a great week celebrating or not as is your creed. 

Cheers

Limey

343

Talk Zone / From the "Why Should I Give a Flying Fuck" File

« on: December 10, 2009, 11:38:22 am »

Yanks sign Petttitttte to a 1-year, $11.5mm deal.

344

Beer and Queso / Reason #157 Why I Think Paul McCartney is a Douchebag

« on: December 03, 2009, 11:45:38 am »

Meat-Free Mondays?

Here's a witty, jaunty rejoinder:  Kiss My Arse.

345

Beer and Queso / 2009 British Television Advertising Awards

« on: December 03, 2009, 10:23:16 am »

Here's the details for this year's showings of the BTAAs, at the Museum of Fine Arts.  Those who have been before will know that these are not to be missed.  Newbies should know that this is a fun-packed reel of the best commercials on British Television for 2009 - like an 80 minute Superbowl break.

Tickets are regular cinema prices, and available on the door.  No membership necessary (but museum membership is a cool thing to have regardless).  The theatre has proper stadium seating, and is very comfortable.  Plus, the Black Lab. is just up the street for apres-commercial drinks & eats (you get a discount there with your theatre ticket).


The British Television Advertising Awards
Various directors (UK, 2009, 80 min.)
Friday, January 1, 3:00 p.m.
Saturday, January 2, 3:00 & 5:00 p.m.
Sunday, January 3, 5:00 p.m.

"Brimming with creativity and chosen by top advertising executives and producers across the globe, [this year's] sly, sexy, hilarious, and
thought-provoking British spots...include dancing marionettes, monkeys, and nudists as well as American celebrities Snoop Dogg, Rob Lowe, and
Anjelica Huston hawking products to UK audiences. You'll also catch an '80s flashback for Virgin Airlines and highlights from the history of
20th-century Britain condensed into 120 seconds for a bread commercial.  Among the standouts this year is a spectacular skydiving stunt for Honda
that was broadcast live."

346

Beer and Queso / "The officer fired several rounds"

« on: December 01, 2009, 09:00:38 am »

I'll bet.

Maurice Clemmons, found...and killed.

347

Talk Zone / Separated at Birth

« on: November 19, 2009, 03:40:29 pm »

Jeff Bagwell and Al Franken.

348

Beer and Queso / Veyron Crash

« on: November 16, 2009, 09:40:34 am »

According to a caller on the radio, the nimrod who drove a $1.25mm car into a lake wasn't the owner, and wasn't insured to drive it.  The owner had been offered $2mm for the car, but is now facing an estimated $500k repair bill just to get the thing running.

Oh, and the story that the driver was spooked by a pelican?  Complete bullshit.  How do we know?  There's a video.

Enjoy.

349

Talk Zone / Money goes to Money

« on: November 13, 2009, 09:24:02 am »

Yankees make $90bn from trademarked catchphrase.

350

Talk Zone / Note to Sammy

« on: November 12, 2009, 01:07:06 pm »

It's better to burn out, than to fade away.

351

Beer and Queso / The Prisoner

« on: November 11, 2009, 10:22:27 am »

AMC is showing a six-part remake of the classic series, over three nights starting Sunday night at 7pm CST.  The buzz about it seems pretty positive.  Looks like I'll have to further juggle my DVR recordings.

Be seeing you.

352

Talk Zone / Meet JR Richard and Michael Bourn

« on: November 04, 2009, 10:48:35 am »

...at the Guy Expo, this weekend.

353

Beer and Queso / Fried Egg Sandwich

« on: October 30, 2009, 03:04:34 pm »

Just had the fried egg sandwich at Max's Wine Dive.

Ho.  Lee.  Shit.

It is awesomeness incarnate.

354

Talk Zone / Sale of the Cubs

« on: October 27, 2009, 12:07:20 pm »

...is complete.

355

Talk Zone / Phillie Phan Phail

« on: October 26, 2009, 10:03:58 am »

Enjoy

356

Talk Zone / World Series Umps

« on: October 23, 2009, 03:53:42 pm »

For the first time in a while, no WS rookie Umps will be employed.  Why, you ask?  Because one of the rookie Umps was going to be CB Bucknor, and he's so fucking horrible at this job that even MLB couldn't stand to have him fuck up their showcase.

CB Bucknor was in line to work the World Series for the first time this year. But he missed two calls in Game 1 of the division series between the Red Sox and Angels, damaging his chance to get picked

357

Beer and Queso / Fail!

« on: October 14, 2009, 09:09:51 am »

NTTAWWT

358

Talk Zone / Cubs File for Bankruptcy

« on: October 13, 2009, 11:46:26 am »

As part of their sale to Joe Ricketts, they will have a brief stay in Chapter 11.

The team’s run through Chapter 11 could last mere days, enough to protect its new owners from potential claims by Tribune creditors, said Ira Herman, a bankruptcy attorney with Thompson & Knight.

On a related issue, the option to declare bankruptcy to avoid certain creditors was taken away from individuals by the recent revision to bankruptcy statutes.  The argument for the legislation was that too many people were using bankruptcy to avoid debt that had accumulated because of poor financial management and overspending.  So how does this not apply to the Cubs also?

359

Beer and Queso / Caption Bidge

« on: September 22, 2009, 01:16:26 pm »

I Can Has Cheeseburger has a photo of Biggio to be captioned under their sports section.  Have at it.

360

Beer and Queso / ACL Dilemma

« on: September 15, 2009, 02:55:22 pm »

I have a friend who is recommending Grizzly Bear as a band to see, but they play opposite Airborne Toxic Event.

I've seen ATE but never GB.

Comments?

361

Beer and Queso / URGENT: Calling All Grammarista

« on: September 14, 2009, 09:47:06 am »

I struggle significantly with the U.S. use of the singular to describe a group or collective, as opposed to the Limey way which uses the plural.  I am trying to generate a propaganda publicity piece for my office, which takes an informal tone and is written using the first person perspective.

Here's my issue: when I refer to my company by name, it's singular, but when I use the first person, it's "we" or "us", which is plural.  This seems like a mixture, and I can't use "I" in reference to a company.  Is this correct?

TIA

362

Talk Zone / Dear Cecil

« on: September 08, 2009, 11:21:39 pm »

With two on and nobody out, you don't have to sacrifice.  You can opt for this thing called a hit and run.  This can be quite effective if you are fortunate to have a left-handed contact hitter who hits well to the right side, and perhaps even more effective when you send up a pinch hitter of your own choosing.

Thank you for listening.

Limey

363

Beer and Queso / Comcast Closing In On 2004.

« on: September 08, 2009, 09:54:02 am »

They're going to add "Slingbox" capability to their DVR service.  They didn't say when, but they said they're doing it.  With the World Cup less than a year away, they've got that long to get it working or I'll burn down the building.

364

Beer and Queso / AT&T Boosts Houston's 3G Coverage

« on: September 02, 2009, 01:42:07 pm »

So they say.  I must admit, I've been very happy with the quality of service on the 3G network.

365

Beer and Queso / Turn Around...

« on: August 26, 2009, 10:14:27 am »

I thought this was pretty funny.

366

Beer and Queso / WFW

« on: August 23, 2009, 12:01:55 pm »

The English cricket team thump the Aussies in the 5th and deciding test match.  The Ashes come home and the Aussie whinging will commence.

Actually, the match ended 10 minutes ago, and they're already in full song.

I have never heard a whole nation bitch, wine and moan as much as Australia.  Fuck me!  We let them take the handcuffs, balls and chains off over a century ago!  Whiners!

367

Talk Zone / Can o' Corn

« on: August 18, 2009, 02:28:31 pm »

Q. Where did the baseball phrase can of corn originate?

A. The most accepted theory is that the phrase, 1st used in 1896, makes reference to a long-ago practice where a grocer would use a stick to tip a can off a high shelf, then catch it in his hands or outstretched apron.


Is this true?  It's a topic that one of my mates has been obsessing over all season, and he just found this.

368

Talk Zone / My Prediction

« on: August 15, 2009, 08:35:20 pm »

Cooper doesn't survive the next homestand.

369

Beer and Queso / TFLN

« on: August 10, 2009, 01:25:30 pm »

Just discovered that there's an app for that.

370

Beer and Queso / Astros Wives Gala

« on: August 07, 2009, 11:50:34 am »

As per Fuckhouse Footer.

Congratulations to Jason Michaels, for being married to my new, #1 PWILF.

371

Talk Zone / Astros vs. Giants Series Preview Posted

« on: August 03, 2009, 11:37:16 am »

Have at it.

372

Talk Zone / BFiBs

« on: July 31, 2009, 09:58:59 pm »

Fuck 'em.  Every single one of 'em.  No exceptions.

373

Beer and Queso / Unattainable

« on: July 31, 2009, 08:30:41 pm »

Inapproriate chicks, the poop out of whom I would like to bone:

#1  Lily Allen

374

Talk Zone / 093

« on: July 23, 2009, 02:32:24 am »

I hope he is drinking tonight (as much as me), because he just got his arse swept!

Now, if one was in a Bangkok palace of relaxation, an arse-sweeping might be cool.  But in the NL Central, it just means that you're fucked.

That is all.

375

Beer and Queso / Smells Like Teen Spirick

« on: July 20, 2009, 01:31:14 pm »

Amazing stuff.

376

Beer and Queso / SkyCaddie...iPhone Style

« on: July 20, 2009, 09:51:59 am »

I got to use AirVue Golf on my iPhone yesterday.  It's awesome.  For $30, it uses Google images and the iPhone's built-in GPS to give you distances, and photo images of each hole, with close-ups of the fairway and green separately.  In the "green" view, it gives you distance to the front, middle and back.

On any image selected, you can use your finger to put down a cursor and you will get the distance to your cursor (just drag your finger around and the cursor follows), so you can figure distances up to, and over, hazards.  A nice aid is that, when poking the cursor around, it gives you distances to the green (front, middle and back) from your lay-up point.  So, if you love to hit in from 120 yards, you can drag the cursor back to that distance from the green, and then you'll know how far to lay-up to that point.

It re-adjusts almost instantaneously to your movements, and it automatically flips to the next hole when you get to the tee (you can manually bump forward or backwards too).  All the hole images have all been realigned so that they are shown vertically on the screen, i.e. looking straight down the line from the tee.

AirVue has over 18,000 courses, including my club's three 9's for which you can select the various combinations for an 18-hole round.  It has a full 4-player scorecard too.  I recommend it highly and, because it uses your existing GPS equipment and service, it's shed loads cheaper than a SkyCaddie unit.

377

Beer and Queso / I'm Drunk

« on: July 18, 2009, 02:21:49 am »

Discuss.

378

Talk Zone / Michael Bourn is a Player

« on: July 11, 2009, 12:40:15 pm »

That is all.

379

Talk Zone / Houston to Freeze Tonight? Nope. Just a New Limey Time Posted

« on: July 10, 2009, 12:02:24 pm »

Read it and sleep.

380

Talk Zone / Worst Loss of the Year

« on: June 29, 2009, 05:52:29 pm »

So says Cooper, about Sunday's blown sweep, as per Alyson's Fucknotes.  Clearly, like me, he had his hands covering his eyes for Moehler's recent start against the FTCs at MMPUS.

Blown saves sting, but the other guys are trying to win too (I give an assist for that loss to the fucktard who stuck his hand out and probably cost the Astros a run).  However, when the entire team mails it in from the 3rd pitch of the game, that's something to be upset about.

381

Beer and Queso / And Then There Was Porn...

« on: June 25, 2009, 09:49:59 am »

First iPhone app containing nudity hits the App Store (link marginally NSFW).  Buck ninety-nine for the "Hottest Girls" app which has photos of hot chicks, some of which has them topless.

Of course, this is a complete waste of time, given that the iPhone has a full web browser and unlimited internet access.

382

Beer and Queso / Palm Pre...iPhone Killer

« on: June 15, 2009, 02:34:27 pm »

For about 4 hours, then the battery dies.  Don't know what happens if you start running one of the 18 apps, but I can't imagine it gets better.  Still, at least you have a slide-form phone that is so sharp when it's opened that it can be used to cut cheese.

383

Talk Zone / Geary Reactivated, and Outrighted to Round Rock

« on: June 10, 2009, 04:12:03 pm »

So blogs Footer.

Weird, but the Astros have enough shit relievers (and starters) already.

384

Talk Zone / Did Backe Just Take Moehler's Spot in the Rotation?

« on: June 10, 2009, 09:49:53 am »

As painful as it was last night, Backe was better than Moehler to the tune of a run an inning.  They both suck but, as the Astros aren't blessed with an embarrassment of riches in the starting department, maybe the answer is to use the pitcher who sucks least.

Full disclosure:  I left after the 6th inning last night.  The poor lady manning the exit was confused as to what had happened.  There was a flood of people leaving.  FTR, I didn't purchase anything from the concessions.  How's that business plan working out for you Pam?

385

Beer and Queso / Footer's Latest Facebook Photo Album

« on: June 09, 2009, 03:17:41 pm »

For those of you with access, check out the pics from the Players' cocktail party.

Since the trade of Adam Everett, I believe that Michele Quintero may have taken over as my #1 PWILF.

386

Beer and Queso / WWDC

« on: June 08, 2009, 09:09:01 am »

Should be a good day for all reasonable* Mac-freaks.  New iPhone and details of when the 3.0 software will be available (free download for all existing iPhone users).  3.0 has a lot of nice features, including the much whined about cut, copy, paste function, and landscape view/keyboard in the Mail app.  There are credible rumours of a swath of new iPhones, starting with cheap, low-end models sporting limited capacity and functionality, right up to the new 32GB top end model with 7.2gbs 3G connectivity, a faster chip and video shooting, editing and uploading.

Stick that in your Palm Pre!

* Unreasonable Mac-freaks, of which there are many, will decry the lack of a teleport app and that the headphone jack hole is still too big for their penis to touch the sides.

387

Talk Zone / The Duh Ceci Code

« on: June 03, 2009, 12:30:23 am »

Please can anyone explain to me:

Why the fuck you PH Erstad before Pudge, given that Erstad PHed for Q, meaning that Pudge has to come in the game anyway and is batting about double the BA?

The Butterfly Effect of this was that Pudge went into the #9 spot and the reliever went into #8, so that two innings later, with two out and two on, Michaels had to PH for the pitcher when it could've been Pudge in the normal order of things.  Pudge got a sharp single to lead off the next inning - which is lucky because I'd bet both my houses on it.  A further knock on effect was that Michaels was burned unnecessarily, so when Tracy walked Lee and Berkman to get to Kata, Coop had only Keppinger on the bench.

Oh, and on that subject, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU NOT PH KEPPINGER FOR KATA?!!!!

Lastly, Pence at #3 and Berkman at #5 is rank idiocy.

I sat through the first 10 innings, but left when I saw Keppinger come up to PH, because I thought that the bench must've been empty already.  If the manager doesn't give a shit about whether the team wins, why the fuck should I?

And in case you're wondering, I'm sober as a judge.  Just mad as hell....and the team won!

388

Talk Zone / MLB Receives Patent for its Fan-Fucking Software

« on: May 18, 2009, 11:35:28 am »

CHICAGO (Reuters) -
Major League Baseball has won a patent for technology that blocked certain fans from viewing local games online, and it may open the door for the U.S. sports league to profit by licensing it to media companies.

So now MLB can make money from fucking over fans of other sports too.  Thanks Gerry.

389

Beer and Queso / Parenting

« on: May 15, 2009, 10:04:21 am »

Fail?

390

Beer and Queso / The Bandit Reaches the End of the Road

« on: April 27, 2009, 12:55:30 pm »

GM to terminate the Pontiac brand, which means the death of the Trans Am.

I owned a '97 (IIRC) Trans Am convertible.  I had been in the States for a couple of years at the time, and I thought it a good opportunity to own a true American muscle car.  I picked the Trans Am because it was much better looking than the Camero or Mustang.  However, the whole ownership experience was a disaster from the shitty sales experience to the shitty post-sales experience to the shitty ride and shitty performance.  I presume Trans Ams of old were better vehicles, because this one was a mangy dog.

For a big V8, the acceleration was dull, even with a 6-speed standard transmission.  Apart from anything else, it's insistence upon closing off 2nd, unless you were barely moving or screaming in 1st gear, was unbelievably annoying (especially I had no idea about this "feature" until I left the dealership).  It was also incredibly skittish in a straight line on anything other than perfect tarmac, and cornered like a supertanker.  All of which made driving fast pretty much impossible to do.

Then there was the terrible after-sales service, which included Pontiac's refusal to do anything about the diff, which howled like a banshee above 50mph.  That took two years to fix, and they broke the roof and got oil all over the interior in the process.

Honestly, I know how this feels to many of you.  I watched the UK car industry get consolidated into one car company, which then set about destroying the reputation of all its storied marques, ran them all into the ground producing craptacularly bad cars, and then took the whole fucking industry around the u-bend with it.  The loss of the Trans Am is a blow to many, I'm sure, but in reality it was killed years ago and is only now being taken off life-support.

391

Talk Zone / Ticket for Tonight's Game

« on: April 23, 2009, 03:27:44 pm »

I have a spare ticket for tonight's game, Section 232 (Club level).  It's free to anyone who wants to join Homer and I can snag the ticket with a speedy PM.  The only pre-requisite being that you'll have to act as referee and human shield in the event that Homer and I start talking politics.

It's directly facing the sun, so be ready with shades, a hat and, of course, your broom.

392

Talk Zone / Hey Bench

« on: April 23, 2009, 02:47:10 pm »

Check your PM.

393

Talk Zone / As if Any is Needed - More Proof of the Existence of the BBGs

« on: April 17, 2009, 10:14:09 am »

Both the Mets and Yankees lost the season openers in their new stadia.  The Mets lost on a 9th inning balk and the Yankees lost courtesy of a 9-spot dropped on them, highlighted by a granny.

Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of folks.  How's that $2,500 seat working out for you?

394

Beer and Queso / Speaking of Wasted Internet Usage

« on: April 17, 2009, 07:10:23 am »

Snatch Wars.  Awesome.

395

Beer and Queso / Shaddap and Drive

« on: April 15, 2009, 10:48:43 am »

F1 has ruled that the Brawn GP car's rear diffuser is legal.  BMW keeps on whinging meanwhile everyone is playing catch-up.  The fact that Ferrari's QC called Ron Brawn "supremely arrogant" in a court of law is hilarious and the height or irony.

Court room shenanigans aside, the races this year have been tons of fun.  The rule changes (which Brawn and others used to their advantage and caught the establishment teams napping) have made for some fabulous racing.  They made the rear wings smaller and the front wings bigger, allowing chasing cars cleaner air and more grip (on the front wheels) so that they can get closer without losing performance.

Did you know that F1 cars this year have the option of being hybrids?  They have this thing called the KERS (Kinetic Energy Recovery System) which takes energy from the brakes and feeds it into a small battery.  Then, you can use that stored energy to give yourself a short speed boost for overtaking etc., but it only lasts a few seconds before the charge is exhausted.

So now the cars can get their noses right under the arse of the car in front, get a tow, zip out (because there's still plenty of downforce on the front wheels) and hit the KERS.  On occasion, it seems like a scene from Mad Max!

396

Beer and Queso / Michael Bay Signs $50M Deal To Fuck Up 'Thundercats'

« on: April 13, 2009, 12:43:14 pm »

In the end, the studio decided only Bay could be relied upon to deliver a 220-minute cinematic clusterfuck with enough tedious performances, overblown cinematography, and CGI explosions to make even the most casual fan want to scratch their eyes out.

Enjoy.

397

Beer and Queso / AstroDoom

« on: April 01, 2009, 01:47:04 pm »

Heard at the weekend that the 'Dome is on the verge of being condemned.  Hundreds of violations have been cited, mostly the result of virtually zero maintenance since it lost its primary functions.  Expectation is for condemnation then implosion.

So much for it being turned into a huge indoor casino complex.

398

Beer and Queso / You Knew He Was a Douchebag, But You Couldn't Quite Put Your Finger on Why

« on: March 31, 2009, 09:13:15 am »

Now you can.

399

Talk Zone / MLB At-Bat 2009 Now Available

« on: March 30, 2009, 12:01:17 pm »

Only $10 bucks from your friendly, neighbourhood iPhone App Store.  This appears to include the GameDay Audio too, in which case it's a fantastic bargain.

400

Talk Zone / Team USA Happy To Be Back Playing For Money

« on: March 26, 2009, 03:38:28 pm »

Yep.  It's from The Onion, with bonus Slacker Jones slammage.

401

Beer and Queso / Big Party Today

« on: March 17, 2009, 09:06:48 am »

Apple unveils what's coming in iPhone 3.0.

Why?  What did you think I would be posting about?

402

Talk Zone / Chuck Norris Knows Who's On First

« on: March 12, 2009, 09:50:23 am »

It's Lance Berkman.  Chuck Norris is an Astros fan.  Seriously.  Who knew?

WARNING:  This clip is from the Glen Beck show.  I recommend you press your finger hard on the Worrell button, and don't let go 'til it's over.

403

Beer and Queso / Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

« on: March 04, 2009, 03:42:34 pm »

I won't be watching.  If you feel you have to, here's a drinking game to help you survive.

404

Talk Zone / MLB At Bat

« on: March 02, 2009, 11:19:21 pm »

This year, the app is adding streaming PBP, with the option to listen to either team's broadcast.

Nice.

405

Beer and Queso / Sledging

« on: March 02, 2009, 10:16:03 am »

Sledging is what cricketers call 'trash talking".  Here's some good ones.

WRT to the Marsh - Botham exchange, some people claim that Botham had a witty rejoinder to Marsh's question "How's your wife and my kids?".  Apparently, he replied "My wife is fine and your kids are retarded," but this may simply be internet lore.

406

Beer and Queso / Anybody Else?

« on: February 28, 2009, 02:28:13 pm »

...enjoying the guilty pleasure that is The John Rocker Story Eastbound and Down on HBO?  Just when you think you're about to generate some sympathy for Rocker Powers, he goes and does/says something stupid, rude, insulting or embarrassing.  It's so true to life.

407

Beer and Queso / Real Sports takes on the Bellaire PD

« on: February 22, 2009, 12:18:29 pm »

An extended report in the current episode talks about an incident on December 31 of this year in which a kid - baseball prospect - was shot in front of his own house, and his own parents, by the BPD after being "pulled over" at his home for suspicion of stealing the car he was driving...which was his own car.

The kid survived the bullet in the chest, but his potential career hangs in the balance because of it.  His name is Robbie Tolen, son of Bobby Tolen, who played 14 years in the bigs, including the Cards and the Big Red Machine.

408

Beer and Queso / Unintentionally Ironic?

« on: February 18, 2009, 11:46:18 am »

The BBC has a news article about Obama's plan, to be announced later today, to prop up the housing market.  In that article, there is a comment from an expert, claiming that "the plan is good, but it is unnecessarily complicated."  The expert is Michael Cheah from AIG SunAmerica Asset Management.

I have no idea whether Mr. Cheah has a valid point or not, I just think it's funny when someone who worked for a company that was sunk by its involvement in credit default swaps accuses someone else of being "unnecessarily complicated".

409

Talk Zone / Selig Thinking about Meddling

« on: February 12, 2009, 03:49:01 pm »

He's pondering a suspension of A-Roid and the reinstatement of Aaron as home run king.

Be afraid.  Be very afraid.

410

Talk Zone / Yankees Sharing the Needle

« on: February 10, 2009, 09:27:00 am »

So that's 4 now, Clemens, Pettitte, Giambi and A-Rod, three of whom have admitted to using steroids and one who is in danger of going to jail because he's stated that he never used despite significant evidence to the contrary.  A-Rod came late to the Yankmee party and claims to have been off the juice by the time he got there, but that's not the point.  He got there because he juiced, just like the others got there because they juiced, because the Yankees will spend whatever it takes to win World Series...es, and what they were buying were roided-up cheats.

If baseball is truly serious about cleaning up its act and setting the right tone regarding PEDs, it cannot let cheats like these retain their glory.  You can't take away the money they conned out of the sport, but you can make sure that their legacy, like Pete Rose's, is forever coated in shit.

411

Beer and Queso / The One and Only Reason Why I'm Rooting for the Steelers

« on: January 30, 2009, 07:06:59 am »

Four words:  Arizona Quarterback Kurt Warner.

412

Beer and Queso / Next Generation iPhone Spotted in the Wild

« on: January 29, 2009, 01:23:37 pm »

Well, not "spotted" as such, more like someone has come across it's droppings.

It seems that iPhones (and other gadgets) leave behind a record when they use wireless connections like the AT&T network and WiFi.  The original iPhone would show up as "iPhone 1,1", whereas the 3G model is "iPhone 1,2".  Now multiple records of "iPhone 2,1" have been cropping up all over Apple's hometown of San Francisco.

This suggests a major upgrade is in the works, as even the jump to 3G warranted only a secondary digit increment (1,1 to 1,2) and they don't change the numbers when the simply increase the memory capacity.  A bump to 2,1 is likely to mean newer, faster processors and perhaps some other whizz-bang stuff.  Apple typically let their execs loose with new iPhones before they're announced to the public, so I'm sure it's they, plus some lucky beta testers, who are generating these records.  So, if you're thinking about buying an iPhone, or upgrading the one you have, you might want to wait until June, which is the month when Apple unveiled the iPhone in '07 and released the 3G update in '08.

Two things I guarantee it won't have: a fixed keyboard and copy 'n' paste.  Shit like that is just un-Apple.

413

Beer and Queso / Redneck Rampage

« on: January 25, 2009, 12:25:27 pm »

Redneck Rampage

This came up at the golf tourney, because it's a stupid game that involves balancing physical activity and levels of drunkenness.  Here's a clip of the game, which includes the classic opening that sets the scene perfectly.  Your job is to stay alive, avoid being abducted by aliens and to find sustenance in the form of beer, whiskey and moonshine, as well as pork rinds (the aforementioned balancing act between drinking and being able to shoot straight.).

It also had a superb soundtrack (some of which lives on my iPhone to this day) including "My Baby's All Liquored Up", "Gettin' Drunk (With or Without You)" and "Nurture My Pig" by the Reverend Horton Heat.

I miss this game.

ETA:  Here's a longer clip of the gameplay, unfortunately the soundtrack was turned off.  It also doesn't appear to have the "Cuss Pack" installed, which was a must IMHO.

414

Beer and Queso / Calling All Meteorological Types and Offshore Engineers!

« on: January 22, 2009, 03:28:52 pm »

I am looking for a place to go to get buoy data on wave heights in the Gulf of Mexico.  What I need is a way to find buoys near a particular platform or group of platforms, and then be able to pull historic wave-height data from each one.  This is a professional exercise, so reasonable fees for a service aren't out of the question.

Anyone got any ideas?

415

Beer and Queso / Steve Jobs May Be Skinnier than One of His Laptops, but...

« on: January 22, 2009, 12:17:32 pm »

Apple shredded and Microsoft tanked in the last quarter.  I take no joy in job losses anywhere*, even at MS, but Gates' old firm have been pushing an increasingly inferior product for years now, and that's not sustainable.  Just ask Ford, GM and Chrysler.

However, Apple has been a little quiet lately too.  Lots of competitors are riding their touchscreen coattails and also putting out credible all-in-one desktops.  In some areas, the competition's ahead as it embraces new-fangled technologies like Blu Ray and MMS texting (Eh? Oh.).  The blogorama is chock full of fanboys just a couple of strokes away from completion, if only Apple would release the next iPhone with a 54" fold-out screen, enough memory to save the entire internet and the computing power of the NSA.  Seriously though, they're overdue on a number of product updates and refreshes, and the delays just fuel the concerns that as Steve shrinks, so goes Apple.

416

Beer and Queso / According to My Facebook Friend "Shiner Beer"...

« on: January 08, 2009, 11:35:56 am »

Commemorator is on the shelves in Austin as of today (Brodie Ln Spec's).  No idea about Houston, or even if the Austin report is true.

Same applies to this review, which describes the beverage as a "stand up double".

417

Beer and Queso / Mea Culpa

« on: January 07, 2009, 11:10:35 am »

This is long overdue, but I would like to sincerely apologise for my behaviour of recent times.  I found that the stresses in my personal life were bleeding over to SNS, and I was being an arsehole.  I said some ill-advised things, and I am sorry for the offense I caused.  I took myself off the board for a while to decompress, and give everyone a break.

I'm looking forward to 2009 being a better time in all respects for myself and all of you.

418

Beer and Queso / Iraq War Now Has Official End Date

« on: November 18, 2008, 09:33:15 am »

The Iraqi Parliament ratified the SOFA with only one dissenting vote.  That agreement requires all coalition forces - every single one of those brave souls - to be out of Iraq by December 31, 2011.  The Iraqi Government, which was born and raised under the protection of the coalition, has grown up and is taking control of its own future.

This is a good day for all, IMHO.

419

Beer and Queso / That Was a Little Too Close

« on: November 02, 2008, 05:27:32 pm »

Congrats to Lewis Hamilton, who won the F1 Driver's Championship today with a conservative race that was nearly fucked up by the rain at the end.  Cruising comfortably in 4th, needing to finish 5th or better to clinch the Championship, the rain started falling in Brazil with about 4 laps to go and drivers began diving for the pits to put on wet tyres.

The Brazilian challenger to Hamilton, Ferrari's Massa, got in and out while maintaining the 1st place he needed, and that's where he finished the race.  Hamilton went into the pits in 4th, came out in 5th and had the hard charging Sebastien Vettel right up his tail pipe.  On the second-to-last lap, with the steady rain covering the track, Vettel passed Hamilton and dropped him to 6th.  Hamilton simply couldn't get the power down quickly enough to get close enough to Vettel to take the spot back.  He pushed as hard as he could in the terrible driving conditions, but with precious few turns remaining Hamilton's championship, just as had happened to him on the same track last year, looked to have been lost by the same margin - one point.

As Vettel and Hamilton knifed through back-markers, they approached the last turn and passed another also-ran who was slipping around on slick dry-weather tyres.  Hamilton didn't pass Vettel and they crossed the finish line.  BUT, that last also-ran wasn't an also-ran.  That was Timo Glock who had moved up the places by not pitting for wet tyres and had been running 4th!  By passing Glock, Hamilton had moved back into 5th pace, and had his championship!

Here's he only clip of the close of the race that I can find so far - which has a commentary in German (Vettel is German).  It picks up on the penultimate lap, after Vettel has passed Hamilton.  So you know who's who, Ferrari's are all in red (as are their pit crews), Hamilton is in the silver and red car and his pit crew are in white.  Vettel's car is a dark blue or black.  Oh, and your eyes don't deceive you, that is the Pussy Cat Doll's Nicole Scherzinger in Hamilton's pit...the lucky bastard.

Anyway, well done Lewis.  I see no precedent in the fact that a young, allegedly inexperienced black man of mixed parentage has reached the pinnacle of his profession.  None whatsoever.

Lastly, for more motoring fun, here's Hamilton on BBC's Top Gear, which was filmed between last year's heartbreaking debut F1 season, and this year's amazingly successful one.

ETA:  Here's a better clip of the last laps, still in German, but it picks up with Vettel behind Hamilton before the pass.

420

Beer and Queso / Oh Happy Day!

« on: October 22, 2008, 10:25:05 am »

My new work laptop, docking station and twin screens arrived yesterday.  Today, I downloaded Safari for Windows and I am now posting using all of the aforementioned.  The lappy isn't a MacBook, it's an HP, but it seems snappy enough and the ability to use Safari makes my time-wasting all the more enjoyable.  I have work open on the other screen, so I don't feel too guilty.

421

Beer and Queso / Busted by YouTube

« on: October 20, 2008, 10:30:33 am »

Despite containing the phrase "lunatic and grossly irresponsible manoeuvres at considerable speed", this article isn't about Hunter Pence.

422

Talk Zone / The 'Roots Cough Up a Granny in the 10th, Astros 1 Game Away from Elimination

« on: September 25, 2008, 11:45:27 pm »

The Pirates suck, so here's a photo of a very wet Megan Fox.

423

Beer and Queso / Big Bang Experiment "Starts Well"

« on: September 10, 2008, 05:03:57 pm »

We're all still here, right?

424

Talk Zone / Doink!

« on: September 09, 2008, 09:32:40 am »

I have a very good friend who is on secondment here from London for the next six weeks.  So, last night I took him to Woodrows because (a) I wanted to watch the Astros; and (2) he's a smoker (fucking Euros) so we had to go somewhere where we could sit outside and watch the game.

Of course, it was MNF, but we did get a good table in front of the only TV on the deck showing the baseball.  My friend was treated to a great game, the Coors Light and Jim Beam girls, a wiggly waitress with tats and scarlett hair who he instantly fell in lust with, and Lance Berkman getting doinked on the head during what looked like a routine put-out.  The close up/highlight of the seam mark on his forehead was a nice bonus.

Shame we couldn't listen to JD and Brownie, but they had the sound on for the football and, during the commercials, Rod Ryan would shout profanities through the P.A. in an attempt to be edgy.

425

Beer and Queso / Shameless Plug

« on: September 08, 2008, 04:41:46 pm »

A mate of mine is a part-owner of a record label (do the kids still call it a "record label"?).  Anyway, they're having a little growth spurt right now, having released David Cronenburg's Wife's debut album "Bluebeard's Room", they're now busting out the debut album of Milk Kan.  If you like Squeeze or (more recently) The Rakes, you might want to give them a whirl but, other than being obviously from London, they're pretty hard to pigeon hole musically.

Their track with the Dolly Parton hook - "Here Ya Come Again and Again" - is genius.  I heard the original cut, which the lawyers decided had too much Dolly to be released, but the revised cut is pretty cool too.

426

Beer and Queso / Something you Might Not Know about Andy Murray

« on: September 08, 2008, 04:07:33 pm »

As he takes on Federer as I type this, it might be of interest to note that he was one of the kids at the school where this happened.  Don't think it means anything regarding whether he wins or loses today, but it's one of those "Grace of God" things.

427

Talk Zone / Mea Culpa

« on: September 08, 2008, 09:56:54 am »

Like, I'm sure, many of you, I was confused and disappointed that the Series Preview for the Rockies match-up wasn't posted on Friday.  However, at least you were spared the horror and embarrassment of being reminded on Saturday that it was your job to write it!

My sincere apologies folks.  I had completely forgotten it was my turn.

I did have a thought of writing an "Astros @ Rockies: "Oh Shit it's My Turn!" edition, but it would have been more sad and more lame than this apology.  So, in the time honored tradition of baseball authors, on the topic of the Astros and the Rockies, I shall simply say:

"Pass"

428

Beer and Queso / MLB At-Bat

« on: September 03, 2008, 07:10:52 pm »

They just updated this Phone app.  Now if has full GameDay functionality, including pitch-by-pitch etc. etc.

Nice update.

429

Beer and Queso / Just in Case You Ever Wanted to Know the Correct Usage

« on: August 27, 2008, 10:09:47 pm »

"Bollocks" explained.

430

Talk Zone / NYCU: Wandy Fixes Walks

« on: August 27, 2008, 01:48:50 pm »

You ask "What was different?"

I answer "He was facing the Reds."

431

Talk Zone / What!?

« on: August 26, 2008, 10:28:15 am »

Does Coop really want Pence's plate approach rubbing off on his other players?  They'd need to keep the roof open to stop MMPUS feeling like the inside of a vacuum cleaner.

432

Beer and Queso / How Much of a Douchebag Must One Be...

« on: August 20, 2008, 04:17:31 pm »

...to be deported from both Vietnam and Thailand the space of two days?

Paul Gadd, aka Gary Glitter of "Rock 'n' Roll Part 2" fame, was deported from Vietnam after serving two years for molesting girls aged 11 and 12.  He went to Thailand but they're refusing him entry and will themselves deport him asafp.  He is trying to avoid going back to England - the only country who has any interest in accepting him - because what awaits him there is registration as a sex offender, an electronic bracelet and - one fine day - a fucking good shoeing.

433

Talk Zone / Astros at Brewers - Series Preview Posted

« on: August 18, 2008, 03:10:32 pm »

Heeeeeeeeeyy!

434

Talk Zone / Is This the End of the Backe Odyssey in Houston?

« on: August 16, 2008, 09:26:17 pm »

Coop threw him to the wolves tonight.  I understand that Cecil was trying to protect the bully after last night, and the game was likely beyond redemption.  Still, what he did to Backe smacks of a team's attitude towards a player upon whom they've already made a decision.

If so, it's a shame, but not undeserved.  He simply hasn't cut it, even as a #5.

435

Beer and Queso / What Do Flavor Flav and Bill O'Reilly Have in Common?

« on: August 15, 2008, 09:41:18 am »

If this web article filled with internet "facts", assumptions and extrapolations is to be believed, it's carnal knowledge Billo's wife.  Oh, and apparently you can throw Teddy Kennedy into the river mix there somewhere.

436

Beer and Queso / Attn: Golfers and/or iPhone Users

« on: August 12, 2008, 11:20:52 am »

vCaddy by Golfmapz.com has just released a GPS range-finder app for the iPhone 3G (won't work with old iPhones).  It's $10 to buy, which makes it a steal when compared to the cost of, say, SkyCaddy (because you're replacing your phone instead of buying a $400 device andthen  paying extra for the GPS service).  They claim it's as accurate as any GPS service, so it will be as good (or as bad - if the signal's crap) as any other GPS rangefinder.  There's a bunch of courses available including my home course of Hearthstone and also Sweetwater.

In its first version, it will be a basic rangefinder, i.e. giving you distance to the centre of the green from where you're standing.  They plan to add more stuff to it later, including a scorecard feature and handicap calculator.

So, if you're thinking about getting a SkyCaddy - think about getting an iPhone instead.  It does the same job, and a whole lot more!

Spread the word.

437

Talk Zone / Milo's Bobblehead

« on: August 09, 2008, 06:40:22 pm »

Looks like Joe 90.  Yes, I realise that you probably don't know who he is, but it was funny to me.

438

Talk Zone / Local Idiot To Post Comment On Internet

« on: August 06, 2008, 01:54:51 pm »

As reported in The Onion.

Mylenek, who rarely in his life has been capable of formulating an idea or opinion worth the amount of oxygen required to express it, went on to guarantee that the text of his comment would be misspelled to the point of incomprehension, that it would defy the laws of both logic and grammar, and that it would allege that several elements of the video are homosexual in nature.

439

Talk Zone / Mets Series Preview Posted

« on: July 31, 2008, 06:02:51 pm »

It's time to Hate the Mets.

440

Game Zone 2008 Archive / 7/28 - Reds at Astros

« on: July 28, 2008, 07:12:06 pm »

Lineups

Red
J. Bruce CF
J. Keppinger SS
K. Griffey Jr. RF
B. Phillips 2B
A. Dunn LF
E. Encarnacion 3B
J. Votto 1B
P. Bako C
J. Cueto P

Astros
K. Matsui 2B
M. Tejada SS
L. Berkman 1B
C. Lee LF
G. Blum 3B
H. Pence RF
D. Erstad CF
B. Ausmus C
R. Oswalt P

441

Beer and Queso / Frack!

« on: July 28, 2008, 05:03:52 pm »

I just realised that Season 4 of Battlestar Galactic starts in about a month, and I'm only caught up to the end of Season 1!!  I've got a lot of watching to do.  I've been interlacing BSG disks with regular shit on my Netflix list, but now I'm going to have to go all out.

Dunno why I missed this when it was originally broadcast.  I missed the mini-series and therefore never relly tried to get into the show.  Regretting it now, but also glad to have the chance to catch up.

Oh, and if I was a Cylon, I'd like to be No. 7.  Because No. 7 comes between No. 6 and No. 8.

442

Talk Zone / C.C. Sabathia, Prince Fielder Keep Imagining Each Other As Giant Talking Hot Dog

« on: July 24, 2008, 10:01:30 am »

MILWAUKEE—The Brewers' playoff push has run afoul of an unusual distraction, as sources close to the organization confirm that newly acquired husky starting pitcher C.C. Sabathia and sizable power-hitting first baseman Prince Fielder continue to visualize one another as a 6'7" chili cheese dog and a 260-pound hamburger with all the trimmings, respectively.

Read more at The Onion.

443

Talk Zone / What is MLB's Policy on Re-Gifting?

« on: July 23, 2008, 09:16:13 am »

The last two nights has me wondering if the Astros could re-gift Wolf in some manner, and try to get something good out of this season.  Consecutive ball-stompings at home by the 'Roots is enough to drive even the most delusional of fans over the edge.

444

Beer and Queso / IE7

« on: July 21, 2008, 04:15:47 pm »

My company's about to encrypt my laptop, and so I've had to do a lot of housecleaning in advance.  This included removing the (unauthorised) installation of Firefox, just in case anyone saw it, so now I have to use IE.

What an ugly heap of garbage!  Web bworser by Fisher Price.

That is all.

445

Beer and Queso / Apple Q3 Results

« on: July 21, 2008, 03:46:50 pm »

SAN FRANCISCO, July 21 (Reuters) - Apple Inc (AAPL.O: Quote, Profile, Research, Stock Buzz) on Monday projected fourth-quarter earnings below Wall Street targets despite a better-than-expected third-quarter profit on brisk sales of its Macintosh personal computers.

Usual story.  Apple slays previous quarter's expectations, record profits, next quarter though...no so much.  Stock drops on negative expectations, even though Apple have said this for a gazillion quarters, and every time they've come in with wow numbers.

I only harp on this to point out to people that the market analysts are a bunch of lemmings who get to fuck with our savings while being mostly clueless as to the actual nature of the companies about which they claim to be informed.

446

Talk Zone / Coop's Postgame

« on: July 18, 2008, 09:56:18 pm »

I guarantee that won't happen again.

447

Talk Zone / Friday Afternoon Beer Thread

« on: July 18, 2008, 03:52:44 pm »

I want what this guy was drinking.

448

Talk Zone / Speaking of Benito Santiago...

« on: July 17, 2008, 02:15:13 pm »

Off-day exercise:  The All-Ugly Team

I suggest using Google Images to support your picks.

Have at it.

449

Beer and Queso / URGENT: Deadwood Fans

« on: July 15, 2008, 02:25:13 pm »

Nope, not news of a new series, or even one of the promised movies.  But...

HBO is having a sale of Deadwood shit at their online store.  Most notably, the DVD sets of the series are available at nearly half-price, $60 instead of $100.  They're even paying shipping and not charging sales tax.

OFFER CLOSES AT 4PM EASTERN.

So you've got about half an hour from the time this gets posted.

450

Beer and Queso / Up and Down Like the Assyrian Empire

« on: July 11, 2008, 09:46:26 am »

If anyone has ever wondered why the Middle East is such a fucked up place, it might have something to do with this.

451

Talk Zone / Zambrano Pitches 8 "Stellar" Innings...Still an Asshat

« on: July 10, 2008, 11:46:51 am »

I hate that fucking guy.

452

Talk Zone / MLB App for iPhones

« on: July 09, 2008, 04:47:29 pm »

Some say that the iPhone firmware update to 2.0 will be later today (because that's when Apple launch their "MobileMe" service that requires 2.0 to work with an iPhone) but it'll certainly be here by 8am Friday.  With it will come MLB's free app, which looks fab on the demo.  It's basically the GameDay app scaled for the iPhone, but it takes advantage of iPhone's unique interface and capabilities.  They promise near real-time video highlights of notable plays in any game at the touch of a finger!

For those without the new 3G service (like me), I'm guessing it'll be slow as shit on old iPhones.  But there's a lot of wifi out there, including at MMPUS (and Limey's place), so all iPhone users will be able to get some enjoyment out of this new free service.

Off the baseball track, I also heard that there's an app that combines GPS and the built-in accelerometer with a magic 8-ball.  Apparently, you shake the phone and it gives you the details of a nearby restaurant.  Don't fancy it?  Shake again and see what you get.  Genius!

453

Talk Zone / Hey, MM!

« on: July 07, 2008, 11:56:42 pm »

1c
2c
3a&b
4a,b & c
5b&c
6b

What did I win?

454

Talk Zone / A-Rod a Slut

« on: July 07, 2008, 03:59:34 pm »

I'm shocked and stunned.  As is Mrs A-Rod.

Do you think he runs around NYC bars shouting "Mine!" at any chick in there?

455

Talk Zone / Shawn Chacon...meet Tricia Walsh Smith

« on: June 27, 2008, 02:18:46 pm »

Here's how you deal with people trying to throw you out on the street with no money...YouTube!

456

Beer and Queso / More Bad News...

« on: June 26, 2008, 12:57:17 pm »

Maria Sharapova got knocked out of Wimbledon today.  There goes my interest in women's tennis.  Still no confirmation to the rumours that she's following in the footsteps of Anna Kournikova, and neglecting her tennis in order to doink the entire NHL.

457

Game Zone 2008 Archive / Rangers @ Astros - 24/6

« on: June 24, 2008, 06:21:32 pm »

Rump Rangers
I. Kinsler 2b
F. Catalanotto 1b      
M. Young ss
J. Hamilton cf
M. Byrd rf   
D. Murphy lf
J. Saltalamacchia c
R. Vazquez 3b
E. Hurley p

Home Studs
M. Bourn cf   
M. Loretta 2b
M. Tejada ss
L. Berkman 1b
C. Lee lf
H. Pence rf   
T. Wigginton 3b
H. Quintero c
B. Moehler p

458

Talk Zone / Seven Words You Can't Say at a Funeral

« on: June 23, 2008, 07:20:57 am »

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker and Tits.

George Carlin died, aged 71.

459

Talk Zone / Just Wait for the Movie

« on: June 21, 2008, 11:11:08 pm »

Gabe Gross is Steven Seagal.

460

Talk Zone / Astros @ Tampa Bay Series Preview Posted

« on: June 20, 2008, 01:44:25 pm »

No link.  It's on the front page you lazy bastards.  No, I'm not in a good mood.  Yes, being forced to look closely at the Astros has pissed me off.

461

Talk Zone / Cover Your Eyes, Baby

« on: June 19, 2008, 02:18:12 pm »

Sage advice from Ripley to Newt as they appear to be about to meet their doom, trapped as they are in a room with two, very live, face-huggers.

Also sage advice to any Astros fans who may be wondering how the only-half-a-game-worse-than-the-home-town-nine Reds are doing in their getaway day game against the Dodgers.

462

Talk Zone / French Whore House Perume?

« on: June 18, 2008, 09:30:38 am »

Nice recap, BG.

I also think that "overmanaching" is a perfect description of what Coop's doing right now.

463

Talk Zone / Worse Than This

« on: June 18, 2008, 09:26:51 am »

To the tune of Roxy Music's "More Than This" (and, FWIW, the second verse is entirely unchanged):

I could feel at the time
There was no way of knowing
Losing games in the night
Who can say why they're blowing
And stink like the wind
And hopefully learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning

Worse than this - is only Cincy
Worse than this - is just one team
Worse than this - is only Cincy

It was fun for a while
There was no way of knowing
Like dream in the night
Who can say where we're going
No care in the world
Maybe I'm learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning

Worse than this - is only Cincy
Worse than this - is just one team
Worse than this - is only Cincy

464

Beer and Queso / "I Eat Shit and Piss Fire!"

« on: June 17, 2008, 11:32:18 am »

...says genetically modified bacteria that turns waste into oil.

465

Beer and Queso / Switch-Hitting - Apparently, There Is SWWT

« on: June 16, 2008, 12:12:11 pm »

"English" cricketer Kevin Pietersen switch-hit in a match vs. New Zealand, and smacked a couple of sixes (homers).  Now cricket's governing body is investigating whether or not it's legal.  IMHO: of course it fucking is.

FYI, the batsman has carte blanche to stand or move wherever the fuck he likes whenever the fuck he likes.  So I see no reason that he shouldn't be allowed to turn around and bat lefty or righty if he has the ability.  It is useful for the same reasons it is in baseball - you can limit or negate the bowler's advantage (real or perceived) by switching.

466

Beer and Queso / Direct TV vs. Dish vs. Cable

« on: June 16, 2008, 12:01:44 pm »

Didn't we have a discussion along these line somewhere?  I've done a search, but can find nothing.  Maybe we could start again...

I'm thinking about dumping cable for satellite, mainly due to cost and the inflexibility of the cable line-up.  Most notably I want access to Setanta, which gives me all the Euro-sports I can shake a stick at, and which is only available on satellite.  Also, I'm curious as to how both Comcast and the satellite providers claim to be the shiznet when it comes to High-Def.

So, Direct TV or Dish?

467

Beer and Queso / New iPhone Today?

« on: June 09, 2008, 10:01:54 am »

Lots of speculation and expectation.  Today's speech by Jobs is at the software developers conference and so I suspect that his address will focus on v2.0 of the iPhone's software, that adds enterprise software including full support for Microsoft Exchange email (push mail & calendar, address look-up etc.), remote set-up and remote wipe.  It also opens up the "App Store" that allows for Apple and third-party developer software to be downloaded and run directly on the iPhone.

This update will be for all iPhones, and we previously suggested as being available late June.  I don't know if it will be available earlier than that, after all, this conference is scheduled for itself, not for a particular release.  Of course, Jobs could say that the update is available immediately...I hope so.

But the buzz about the 3G iPhone has been too loud and too widespread, without any serious repost from Apple, so I expect Steve to unveil this puppy too.  As this is an entirely hardware-driven update - all iPhones will run the new v2.0 software - I'm not sure there's much to for Steve to add here.  Obviously it will run on the faster network and maybe they'll add toys like GPS, a front-mounted camera for videoconferencing (possible now because of the faster network) and a better main camera that takes video with sound.  But none of this is particularly significant in the development of the iPhone as this merely brings its hardware capabilities into line with existing smartphone competitors.

What sets the iPhone apart is the software.  v2.0 will make it a better Blackberry than Blackberry, a better PDA than any Palm or the like and a damn good phone (albeit with some curious omissions that may get fixed today).

Also, for those interested, an iPhone app for Slingbox has already been announced.  All your home TV on your iPhone!


ETA:  The Apple Store just got taken offline.  They do this every time there's a new product hitting the store.  Doesn't mean the new phone will be out today as they take advance orders, prior to release date, when there's a lag between announcement and availability.

468

Talk Zone / Loretta

« on: June 06, 2008, 10:05:57 pm »

He hit in the warm air
Fiery breath standing at home plate
Standing and waiting
A man on a tear in a perfect game
So mystic and soulful
A bat scything out as the pitches fly
He stays on it until...

The pitch it has gone and I'm four for four
It comes easy to me
It comes easy to me
I'm Loretta!

The pitch it is weaving
Fluttering curves, then a fastball zings
The Crawford's are calling
Alone in the night as the floodlight brings
A cool empty silence
The speed of your bat and a fastball high
It's smoked to the distance

The pitch it has gone and I'm four for four
It comes easy to me
It comes easy to me
I'm Loretta!

It comes easy to me
It comes easy to me
I'm Loretta!

469

Talk Zone / Pittsburgh Killed the Open Star

« on: June 06, 2008, 09:41:32 am »

I saw you on the TV, start time seven-oh-two
Lying awake intent at tuning in on you.
If I was drunk it didn't stop you coming through

Oh-a oh

They took the series, and that sucks for you and me
Beaten by horse shit and mediocrity,
and now we understand the problems we can see.

Oh-a oh

It's just the Pirates

Oh-a oh

Why can't you beat them?

Pittsburgh Killed the Open Star
Pittsburgh Killed the Open Star

Pitchers came and broke your bat.

Oh-a-a-a oh

And now we argue in the TZ to and fro.
Debate the fuckups but it seems so long ago.
Try to you remember how May used to go.

Oh-a oh

That was a good month

Oh-a oh

That was just last month!

Pittsburgh Killed the Open Star
Pittsburgh Killed the Open Star
In my mind and in the bar, we must regroup it's gone to far

Oh-a-aho oh,
Oh-a-aho oh

Pittsburgh Killed the Open Star
Pittsburgh Killed the Open Star

In my mind and in the bar, we must regroup it's gone to far
Pitchers came and broke your bat, here comes Ray King he's really fat

You are a horse shit show
You are a horse shit show

Pittsburgh Killed the Open Star
Pittsburgh Killed the Open Star
Pittsburgh Killed the Open Star
Pittsburgh Killed the Open Star

Pittsburgh Killed the Open Star (You are a horse shit show)

470

Beer and Queso / Finally, An Athlete is Honest About His Motivations

« on: June 05, 2008, 03:47:20 pm »

Of all people, Christiano Ronaldo said this, in a recent press conference:

I want to play for Real Madrid, but only if it is true they are eager to pay me and Manchester United what they have been saying they will.

What Real have been rumoured to be saying they will pay is $150mm to buy the player's contract (Ronaldo will get about 10% of that) and $30mm/year for the next 4 years.  So Ronnie's in it for the money, not school districts, or because God told him or because the age of consent in the new locale is however old your latest concubine is.  Money.  Good for him.


As a footnote, my Man U-crazy boss was travelling and could not get the score of the important Premiership match involving his boys.  He texted me, and the exchange went something like this:

Boss:  Score?
Limey:  1-0 Man U

Boss:  Who scored?
Limey:  That fucking pooftah

Boss:  He's no pooftah
Limey:  But you knew who I meant

471

Talk Zone / Big in The 'Burgh

« on: June 03, 2008, 11:13:06 pm »

Summer's cityside
Crystal bits of fastballs all around my head and in the wind
I had no illusions
Many days no business come to my hut...my hut
You threw what you did to me, now it's history I see
Heres my comeback on the road again
My monkey strong bowels will gird
I will hit here four for four tonight, its easy when your big in the 'Burgh

When your big in the 'Burgh, tonight
Big in the 'Burgh, be tight, big in the 'Burgh where the filthy air's so brown
Big in the 'Burgh, alright, pay, then I'll park in your space
Things are easy when youre big in the 'Burgh, when you're big in the 'Burgh

Neon on my naked skin
Passing silhouettes of strange illuminated mannequins
Shall I stay here at the zoo
Or shall I go and change my point of view for other ugly scenes
You threw what you did to me, now it's history I see...
My monkey strong bowels will gird
I will hit here four for four tonight, its easy when you're big in the 'Burgh

472

Talk Zone / One Night in Pittsburgh

« on: June 02, 2008, 02:50:50 pm »

Pittsburgh, rust-belt setting
And the city don't know that the city is getting
The creme de la creme of the hardball world in a
Show with everything and Big Puma

Time flies -- doesn't seem a minute
Since the Allegheny spa had the Astros in it
All change -- don't you know that when you
Play at this level there's no ordinary venue

It's St. Louis -- or the ATL -- or Chicago -- or --
or this place!

One night in Pittsburgh and the world's your sandbox
The park's a temple but team's shitty
You'll find some hits mixed with a bunch of walks
And if you're lucky you ride a stick pony
I can feel an Pirate lining out to me

One town's very like another
When your bat's up over your shoulder, brother

It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity
To be looking at the pitcher, not looking at the titties

Whaddya mean? Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town --

Rub girls, warm, sweet
Some are set up in the Roberto Clemente suite

Get gone! You're talking to a batter
Whose every swing is a serious matter
I like my pitches above the waistline, sunshine

One night in Pittsburgh makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Pittsburgh and the home nine tumbles
Can't be too careful with your company
I have Papa Grande walking next to me

PA's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of baseball fitness
This grips me more than would a
Muddy old river or reclining Buddha

And thank God I'm only watching the game -- controlling it --

I don't see you guys taking
The kind of pain I'm contemplating
I'd let you watch, I would invite you
But the spikes we use would not excite you

So you better go back to your bars, your temples, your massage
parlours --

One night in Pittsburgh and the world's your sandbox
The park's a temple but team's shitty
You'll find some hits mixed with a bunch of walks
And if you're lucky you ride a stick pony
I can feel an Pirate lining out to me

One night in Pittsburgh makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Pittsburgh and the home nine tumbles
Can't be too careful with your company
I have Papa Grande walking next to me

473

Beer and Queso / Dogfish Head IPA

« on: June 01, 2008, 12:23:16 pm »

90 minute on draft at the Gingerman.  Caveat emptor.

474

Talk Zone / Ain't Never Been to Pittsburgh

« on: May 28, 2008, 09:18:24 pm »

To the tune of Charlene's "I've never been to me"


Hey batter, you batter
cursing at the ump
you're a discontented mother
and a regimented chump
I have no doubt
you dream about the things you never do
but I wish someone had a talk to me like I wanna talk to you

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a pitcher man
and we made outs in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces
Because I had to be free
But I ain't never been to Pittsburgh, and I never want to be...

Please batter please batter
don't just walk away
Cause I have this need to tell you
why I'm all fucked up today
I can see so much of me
trying for the Hall of Fame
won't you clap your palms
for a weary arm that has pitched a million games

Oh, I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
when I pounded the ol' Bud on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo
and showed them what I've got
I've been taken deep by kings
and I've seen some things that a pitcher ain't s'pose to see
but I ain't never been to Pittsburgh, and I never want to be...

Hey, you know what Pittsburgh is?
It's a dump
a nightmare created with people and places
as interesting as a stump
but you know what truth is?
it's that little pill you're holding
and it's that man you fought with this morning
the same one you are gonna strike out tonight
that's truth that's 'ball

Sometimes I've been to crying for unearned runs
that might have cost me a "complete"
but I, I took the sweet juice
I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I spent my life exploring
the subtle doctoring
that costs too much to be free
hey batter I ain't never been to Pittsburgh
and I never want to be...

Ain't never been to Pittsburgh, and I never want to be...

475

Game Zone 2008 Archive / Astros @ (Fucking) Jakes 5/28/08

« on: May 28, 2008, 06:53:21 pm »

Good Guys:
M. Bourn cf
K. Matsui 2b
War ss
Death 1b
Pestilence lf
Famine rf
T. Wigginton 3b
J.R. Towles c
W. Rodriguez p

Fucking Jakes:
B. Ryan 2b
R. Ankiel cf
A. Pujols 1b
R. Ludwick rf
T. Glaus 3b
Y. Molina c
B. Barton lf
A. Wainwright p
C. Izturis ss

476

Beer and Queso / Twins Minor League Affiliate Has Interesting Twist on Bobblehead Dolls

« on: May 24, 2008, 09:36:37 am »

Larry Craig Bobblefoot Day

477

Beer and Queso / RAF to Get Rid of Nimrods

« on: May 23, 2008, 09:40:49 am »

Albeit that this is the result of a minor tragedy, seeing all these headlines about Nimrods is actually pretty funny.

Of course, the real Nimrod, is the one who thought it was a good idea to still be flying the military version of the de Havilland Comet 50 years after they became unusable in commercial aviation due to their terrible safety record.

Speaking of Nirmods, I actually got to ride along in one of these suckers for a 4-hour sortie.  Other than the occasional low-level pass to drop a sonar buoy, most of the job seemed to entail eating, smoking and fighting over who gets to take the most food home from the overstocked galley.  Of course, it's easy to be relaxed when no one's actually shooting at you...

478

Beer and Queso / Line Formed at NYC's Apple Store for No Good Reason

« on: May 22, 2008, 03:46:19 pm »

Check out these winners. 

479

Beer and Queso / All England Championship

« on: May 21, 2008, 09:57:39 am »

Not Wimbledon tennis you fools!  Europe's Big Cup: The Champions League.  This year, for the first time, being contested by two English clubs owned by rich furriners:  The MU Rowdies and Chelski.

I have only two predictions for this game:

(1)  It will be a dour, tactical, niggly, defensive game that will be entertaining only to those invested in the teams either by fandom or gambling;

(b)  I will be very, very drunk at the end; and

(iii)  It will be decided by a very dodgy decision either for Chelsea or against Man Utd.

What?  You don't think that United have a hope in hell of winning a game in Moscow against a team owned and financed by the Russian mob, do you?

480

Talk Zone / 20,000 Posts Young

« on: May 19, 2008, 02:57:22 pm »

Congrats, prav.

481

Beer and Queso / "Happy" Mission Accomplished Day

« on: May 01, 2008, 02:40:48 pm »

Was it only five years ago...?

G. Gordon Liddy:

And here comes George Bush. You know, he's in his flight suit, he's striding across the deck, and he's wearing his parachute harness, you know -- and I've worn those because I parachute -- and it makes the best of his manly characteristic. You go run those -- run that stuff again of him walking across there with the parachute. He has just won every woman's vote in the United States of America. You know, all those women who say size doesn't count -- they're all liars. Check that out. I hope the Democrats keep ratting on him and all of this stuff so that they keep showing that tape.

482

Beer and Queso / Apple’s new Hollywood deal: Death of the DVD?

« on: May 01, 2008, 12:49:38 pm »

From the article:

The news that Time Warner CEO Jeff Bewkes let slip in a conference call on Wednesday — that from now on Warner Bros. movies would come out as video on demand the same day as the DVD — turns out to be bigger than he let on.

Apple on Thursday announced that not only would Warner Bros. titles be available for purchase on the iTunes store the same day and date as DVD release, but so too would movies from 20th Century Fox, Walt Disney Studios (DIS), Paramount Pictures (VIA), Universal Studios Home Entertainment, Sony Pictures Entertainment (SNE), Lionsgate, Image Entertainment and First Look Studios.

483

Beer and Queso / Game Consoles

« on: April 28, 2008, 02:07:10 pm »

I have my teenage nephews visiting this summer, GTA4's coming out and so Limey thinks he needs a new game console.  I'm currently not playing my PS2, but that's not unusual.  My playtime tends to go in fits and starts, often depending if a new (or old) game has caught my imagination.  Also golf, baseball and honeydoos get in the way.  Oh, and work too.

Anyhoo, obviously I'm leaning towards a PS3 because it has backwards compatibility with my old games.  I don't play 'em much, but it seems like a waste to not be able to and my nephews might like 'em.  Also, I'm not a fan of 1st Person Shooters, so I don't have a desperate need to change over to XBox for Halo.

So, I'm thinking PS3.  What I'd like to hear is views on that per se, as well as what add-ons I'd need.

Muchas gracias.

484

Talk Zone / Sports Agents Aren't All Bad (Non-BB)

« on: April 28, 2008, 01:25:43 pm »

Here's UEFA-licensed soccer agent Nuria Bermúdez making an appearance on Spanish TV.

485

Beer and Queso / Back to Mac

« on: April 28, 2008, 10:34:37 am »

New iMacs released today, so here's a timely (albeit long) reminder of the Apple product cycle.

486

Game Zone 2008 Archive / Astros @ Jakes 26/4/08

« on: April 26, 2008, 12:05:53 pm »

Good pitching beats good hitting.  Today, I think the Astros have the better pitching and the better hitting.  Let's Go Astros!!!

487

Talk Zone / Yvette in Boston

« on: April 22, 2008, 09:38:08 am »

Maybe that's why that idiot dropped his foul ball.

488

Talk Zone / Caption Competition

« on: April 04, 2008, 05:11:04 pm »

First of the new season:  Lou Pinella.  Have at it.

489

Talk Zone / Recaps and Craters

« on: April 03, 2008, 01:29:40 pm »

Jackastro, recapping Lee's ground-shaking outfield play, reminded me of a buddy of mine back at school.  He once fell over on some softish gound (it was England, so it was always a little wet) and left a large, arse-sized indentation.  From then on, he was known as "CraterMaker", or just "Crate" for short.  From there was spawned the catchphrase "Crate's Yer Mate!", which appeared on t-shirts, as graffiti, and on an anonymous pair of ladies undies nailed to our NCO's mess wall.

But enough of nostalgia...

490

Talk Zone / How True

« on: March 10, 2008, 09:44:09 am »

Saw this.  Best cartoon ever.

491

Talk Zone / 24-Hour Party People (Non-BB)

« on: March 04, 2008, 09:38:46 am »

An exercise in statistical finagling over the success, or not, of 24-hour licensing.  Personally, I think that a bar open 24-hours is its own reward.

492

Talk Zone / Selig Extended Through 2012

« on: January 17, 2008, 12:52:28 pm »

Oh goody.

493

Talk Zone / Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien

« on: January 17, 2008, 10:06:20 am »

So says Uncle Drayton, in English, about the TeHGHada trade.

494

Talk Zone / Marion Jones gets 6 Months for Lying to Feds about 'Roids

« on: January 11, 2008, 04:26:52 pm »

Relevant to BB because it speaks to the codified crime as opposed to the inferred lack of sportsmanship.

ETA:  I'm actually quite annoyed about this.  I've always thought that, if there was a single moment that summed up the whole raison d'etre of the Olympics, it was Marion Jones winning the 100 metres in Sydney in 2000.  There was a great, head-on shot of her entire race, which showed her absolute concentration, drive and determination.  Then, about 70 metres into the sprint, she knew she had it won, and she broke out a smile that was a mile wide that stayed plastered all over her face until long after she dipped over the finish line.  That moment - the smile - signified to me all the talent, determination and pure joy that goes into winning an Olympic Gold medal.

Then she was busted for juicing and stripped of the medal.  The Olympics is now tarnished because of it.  Not just by Marion Jones, but by many athletes.  However, for me, because she represented, for me, what it means to win the Olympic Gold, she has committed a greater sin.

495

Talk Zone / Late Friday Afternoon Non-BB Game

« on: January 11, 2008, 04:17:04 pm »

I have seen and participated in this elsewhere, so I (sort of) recuse myself.  Regardless, the game is inspired by the ability to add "in bed" to any fortune cookie fortune, and make it grammatical.  Here, we will take movie titles, and add "...between your legs" to them, preferably resulting in some purile double-entendre.

Some examples to get the ball rolling:

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire between your legs
First Blood between your legs
Lemony Snickett's A Series of Unfortunate Events between your legs

Et cetera.  Et cetera.  Et cetera.

Have at it.

496

Talk Zone / Clemens Files Defamation Lawsuit Against Steroids

« on: January 11, 2008, 09:23:13 am »

So says this report:

NEW YORK—One month after his name appeared in the Mitchell Report, veteran Yankees pitcher Roger Clemens filed a defamation suit against performance-enhancing drugs in which he claimed that steroids are attempting to tarnish his career. "This is a textbook case of slander: If steroids had not injected themselves—maliciously and with premeditation—into Mr. Clemens' bloodstream on multiple occasions, people would not be accusing my client of taking steroids," Clemens' lawyer Rusty Hardin said in a statement released Tuesday. "We have waited 30 days for steroids to come forward and admit that they were never administered to Mr. Clemens with his consent, but they're not talking. Therefore, we have no choice but to take steroids to court." Clemens is scheduled to hold several private, closed-door meetings with steroids in the coming weeks before announcing he will return to baseball for one more season.

497

Talk Zone / Class? Anyone? (Non-BB - Help with MS Graphs)

« on: January 09, 2008, 10:01:43 am »

How the fuck does one make a histogram?

Thanks in advance.

498

Talk Zone / Law and Order...London? (Non-BB)

« on: January 03, 2008, 09:26:15 am »

They're really expanding the series now!  Not sure what they'll focus on, but maybe it'll involve this guy, handing out ASBOs to this guy.

499

Beer and Queso / Pole Tax (Non-BB)

« on: December 28, 2007, 10:54:43 am »

Texas is introducing a $5 tax on those who frequent titty-bars, which will go to fund programs for victims of sex crimes.  If you feel this is an infringement on your first amendment rights, better get down the clubs before the law takes effect on Jan 1.  If you're feeling altruistic, keep your powder dry until the new year at which time you can have fun and support a good cause.

Me?  I stopped going to titty-bars years ago, and only now partake when it's a bachelor party (i.e. mandatory).  However, I am completely bamboozled by the moral and constitutional ambiguities of this.

500

Talk Zone / Seemingly Unnoticed on the List

« on: December 13, 2007, 03:08:02 pm »

Lenny Dykstra.

Vent away.