ASTROS @ ATHLETICS
Apr 14-16 2017
I spent a few months in Oakland a few years ago, and I genuinely enjoy the town. Sure, our courthouse got shot at overnight (the judge discovered her office windows were NOT bulletproof when she found a bullet lodged in her microwave). Sure, the city smells like San Francisco farted. And sure, a skinny white flower girl ran up and punched me on my way to work because I needed to “watch my skin.” But this is all background noise when you consider the city’s great beer bars, great burger joints and a great baseball culture.
There’s a neat little hipster clothes store along Broadway Ave that sells t shirts with ironic slogans and those essential floppy stocking caps that Legolas seems to sponsor. I bought a shirt with a picture of a bus on it. I’m not really sure why.
The A’s were doing their bi-monthly “we gonna leave, give more moneyz” thing while I was there, and the neat little hipster clothes store had their seasonal collection of “stAy” memorabilia hanging in the windows. One sunny Saturday they had a special guest that created a line out the door: Josh Fucking Reddick.
Now, as a distinguished beardsman, I both applaud and abhor this look. I love the idea of just never shaving ever again, but at some point you cross the Harry and the Henderson’s line. Nobody thinks that looks good.
And as I passed the neat little hipster clothes store on this sunny Saturday, I peeked inside and caught a Mentos-style freeze frame of the famous baseball sasquatch high-fiving a beer-bellied patron and thought – I love this guy. The city loves this guy. I wish he was on my team.
I’m currently living Craig’s daily nightmare in Arkansas, so the only baseball I get on TV is Cardinals and Rangers and Cubs. As such, I have not seen a single inning of Astros baseball this year. So my analysis, such as it is, is based on stats, the GZ and my imagination.
FRIDAY, 9PM CST ROOT
Keuchel (1-0, 0.64 era) v Graveman (2-0, 2.08 era)
Battle of the Aces.
SATURDAY, 3PM CST ROOT
McCullers, Jr (1-0, 2.77 era) v Maneanaena (0-1, 7.15 era)
Each starting pitcher’s last name begins with an M. Also Jackie Robinson day.
SUNDAY, 3PM CST ROOT
Morton (0-1, 4.09 era) v Cotton (1-1, 3.97 era)
That kinda rhymes.
Not a damn thing. Come to the ballpark to watch baseball, you damn hippies, not for some shiny handout.
John Axford – Head
Chris Bassitt – Shoulders
Sonny Gray – Knees
Daniel Mengden – Toes
Jake Smolinski – Knees
Joe Wendle – Toes
McHugh – Right elbow, out at least six weeks
Paulino – Right elbow, out for awhile
Follow the series on the GZ!