By Craig Elliott
Alright, alright, alright, we’ve got the Babyshit Braves on the chopping block and Scrap Iron is sharpening the axe. And I don’t mean one of those pussy tomahawks either. I mean a big-ass double-bladed headsman’s axe. Let’s have no return trip to Atlanta this year; just chop their fucking heads off and send ’em back on ice.
Roy Oswalt had a masterful performance Saturday, despite getting rattled by the cheesedick umpiring early in the game. But after that it was pure Roy, and the huge bats of Ensberg, Lamb, and Biggio.
These Babydick Braves are cute and all, but their run ends here. It’s time to show the killer instinct and put these guys down. Do it right now, and only one team flies back to Atlanta tonight.
Sunday, October 9, 12:00 p.m. CDT – ESPN, KNWS
Good crowd Saturday, but there sure were a lot of stretches when you could hear a pin drop. Maybe they were all being nice like the Chronicle said to. I hope the place is so loud today that Hudson’s chin pubes curl.
And what’s up with that? Tim Hudson has a vagina patch growing under his fat lip. Maybe he’s trying to shape it into home plate or something, but it ain’t working. Call it Chin Muzak.
Tim Hudson (0-1, 6.75) v. Brandon Backe (0-0, 0.00)
Hudson was the loser in Game One, when he gave up five runs on seven hits in 6 2/3 innings. Morgan Ensberg went 3-for-4 and drove in five runs in that game. We may see Orlando Palmeiro again today, as he’s 12-for-29 against Hudson in the regular season. And he just missed a grand slam in Game One by a pubic hair from Hudson’s chin.
Hudson is also pitching on three days’ rest. We?ve seen what the Astros can do when they get into the Atlanta bullpen, so pounding Hudson early would be a great way to start. That bullpen is a china shop, and the earlier we force our way in and start breaking things, the better.
Backe made a brief appearance in Game Two, but this will be his first start of the postseason. The Astros won his last three starts of the regular season, and at home he’s 10-3 with a 3.12 ERA. Last year in the playoffs he had two home starts, where he went 1-0 with a 1.29 ERA. He’s 1-1 against the Braves this year.
Current Braves are 14-for-47 (.298) against Backe, with two homers from Le Roach and one from Chipper. Brian Jordan is 3-for-6 against him, and Jailbird is 3-for-7. Chipper and Giles are both 2-for-5.
Players to Watch:
* Ensberg and Biggio are pulling the wagon right now, and there’s no reason to think they’ll slow down. Unless they get tired from running out all those doubles.
* I think we’re about due for a big day from Lance Berkman. An early bomb off Hudson would be especially nice.
* I don’t know if he’ll play today, but Lamb was excellent in Game Three. Putting Francoeur on his ass was almost as nice as the homer.
* Hats off to the fan who avoided touching the live foul ball, but ran his mouth at Le Roach during and after the play. Nice effort.