By Craig Elliott
I guess it was inevitable that we’d get beaten by Some Fucking Rookie once in the series, but a second-inning curtain call? I’m surprised Chipmunk didn’t get one in the ear after that.
Anyway, we’re back in Houston with homefield advantage, and there’s no reason to go back to Atlanta. With two wins we can wrap it up at home, and send this pack of hayseed fuckwits back to the doublewide.
This is the crucial game of the series, and we’ve got Roy going up against a guy we’ve hardly seen before. We let Smoltz stay in the game way too long Thursday, so some early runs today could be key. The earlier we can chase Sosa and start busting up the bullpen, the better.
Saturday, October 8, 6:30 p.m. CDT – Fox, KNWS
Home sweet home. Fuck the drizzly-ass Ted and its miserable tomahawk chumps. Minute Maid with the roof closed is more like it. And remember, whenever you see a fucking bandwaggoner with a Braves hat at Minute Maid, that’s a ticket that one of us could have had.
Those of you who are fortunate enough to be going to the games this weekend, remember that you’re representing a lot of us. I’d give Foghorn’s nut to be at one of these games. So when you’re cheering for Roy, or Bidge, or Bagwell, or when you’re yelling filthy shit at Bobby Cox, go ahead and yell a little louder. You’re speaking for me too. But if you touch a live ball and cost the Astros a run, I never heard of you.
Roy Oswalt (20-12, 2.94) v. Jorge Sosa (13-3, 2.55)
Roy had four playoff appearances last year, and came out of it with a 1-0 record and a 4.19 ERA. Against the Braves he’s 0-2 in five appearances, with a 6.41 ERA. He had one start against them in early May and took a loss.
Johnny Estrada is the only Brave with a homer against Roy, but AndrUw is 7-for-13 (.538). Marcus Giles is 5-for-11 (.455) with three doubles, and Jailbird is 3-for-8.
Sosa is a starter-turned-reliever-turned-starter who took over in June after Mike Hampton went down. In games he started, the Braves went 15-4. He also has a 9-0 record and a 1.82 ERA on the road this year. He started 40 games and appeared in 60 more for the Devil Rays during the last three seasons and had an 11-26 record overall.
The Astros haven’t seen much of him, but we do have a few at-bats. Willy Taveras is 2-for-2 with a homer, Biggio is 1-for-3, and Palmeiro is 2-for-8. Adam Everett is 0-for-2 with 2 strikeouts against Sosa.
Players to Watch:
* Watch John Smoltz sit his ass on the bench.
* Willy Taveras was 3-for-4 Thursday, and is 2-for-2 against Sosa. Let’s hope he’s on base early and often today. And running his ass off.
* In 2004, Carlos Delgado had homers in five straight at-bats against Sosa. Not that it really matters, since tonight Delgado’s hitting the sofa, not the Sosa.
* Nice title defense, Red Sox. The Yankmes will be joining you soon enough.
* By the way, Fox Sports, pull your head out of the Yankees’ ass and listen up. If you’re going to use an Astros batting helmet on your set, at least use one that hasn’t been out of date for six fucking seasons.
* Come to think of it, if that fucking blue-and-gold batting helmet shows up again, we should take up a collection and mail Fox a new one. With a touching note, of course.